Mrs. Johnson’s ADHD Tips for Parents Page 1 of 7www.brmscounseling.com

Mrs . Johnson’s ADHD Tips for Parents

*I am a Certified School Counselor for grades PreK-12th Grade with experience working with students with ADHD. I am not a

medical physician. These suggestions come from my observations and work with students and their families over 18 years as an educator. Each child’s treatment plan should be individualized. What works for one child, may not work for another.

Disciplining your ADHD Child at Home: 1. Take a breath and make sure you are calm when disciplining your child. Yelling will

heighten his or her anxiety and then your child may become emotional or have a meltdown. Always maintain a normal voice level. Even if your child is emotional and yelling. They will take cues from you. If you are calm, they will start to calm over time.

2. Be proactive. Set up a system of positive rewards that your child can earn for the behavior you want to see.

3. Teach the behavior. Do this at a time when they are not in trouble. Instead, teach the behavior when the child is in a good mood. Show them the reward they can earn and then demonstrate the behavior you want to see. Have them practice/role play with you. Teach them explicitly what you would like for them to do when they are angry, sad, frustrated, etc.

4. Match punishments/consequences to the offense. Teach your child to fix things or clean up messes they make. Hold them accountable and don’t clean it up for them. Also, teach them to repair relationships with others by apologizing and looking for ways to make it right.

5. Be sure to communicate consequences in advance so that there are no surprises. Decide ahead of time that if you do “A”, then your consequence will be “B”. If you see signs that your child is about to make a poor choice, remind them of the consequence in a cool, calm way.

6. Never take away extra-curricular activities or school activities as a punishment. If your child is on a baseball team, don’t use that as punishment. It punishes the team when they are not at practice or a game. It also embarrasses the child in front of his or her peers. They also need athletic and/or creative outlets for their extra energy. Instead, take away something that does not involve others.

7. Pay attention to the good behaviors. When you see your child do something well, praise them. If you have been having a lot of problems with behavior, make a big deal every time you see good behavior.

8. Celebrate improvements. If your child uses the “F” word 10 times a day and today, he only said it 5 times, then celebrate his improvement. Encourage him to set a goal to get down to 3 the next day and so on. They are not going to change overnight, but change can occur over time.

To be Continued……

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More on Disciplining your ADHD Child: 9. Focus on one behavior you want to change at a time. As long as the other behaviors are not a safety concern, ignore them for the time, if you can. Get one behavior corrected before moving to another. 10. When giving your child directions to do something, give them one step at a time. For example, if you want them to clean their room, first ask them to pick up toys off the floor. After that task is completed, ask them to make their bed. Then, ask them to vacuum. Do not just say “clean your room”. You may also give them a checklist on paper or on a whiteboard with steps that you want them to complete and then they can check those steps off as they complete them. 11. Phrase rules and redirections with positive wording. Instead of saying, “Don’t do this….” Say, “Do this….” and tell them what you want them to do. 12. Be consistent. Once you establish routines and consequences, stick to them, even when you don’t feel like it. If you decide to change the rules, have a conversation about why you are changing them. 13. Discipline in private. Not in front of peers or in public places. Not in front of siblings. 14. Once a consequence is served, move forward. Let the past go. 15. Don’t use words like “always” and “never”. For example, “You never do what you are told.” Or “You always act up at school.” The more you say things like this, the more they might start to come true. Instead, remind them of the time they did what they were told or the time they didn’t act up at school. 16. Empower your kid! Remind him or her that you believe in him or her and that you know that even though it is hard, they can make good decisions. 17. Give your child time to think and process what you are saying. Don’t talk too fast or too much. Keep your “lectures” brief and summarize your points. Ask them to repeat back to you what you said. 18. Whenever there is a change in the routine, prepare your child in advance. ADHD kids do not like changes to the plan or the routine. Help them to understand why ahead of time. 19. Remember, your child is different, but that doesn’t mean that they are a bad kid and it doesn’t make you a bad parent. 20. When your child is fixated on one thing, let them finish that thing before moving to another. Be patient and give them time to accomplish a task independently. Even if it is taking longer, let your child complete tasks on their own. 21. Give your child choices when possible instead of making all of the decisions for them. ADHD kids struggle with feeling out of control, so let them have control when you can.

“Everybody is a genius.But, if you j udge a fish by its ab i l i ty to climb a tree, it will live its whole life

be l i e v i ng it is stupid.” Albert Einstein

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Alternatives to Medications: 1. Herbs: Ginseng, Brahami (Use these in a tea) 2. Essential Oils: Vetiver (studies show an increase in alertness). Rosemary, Lavender,

Frankincense (for relaxation and calming. Can also improve sleep.), Cedarwood (Sedative properties).

3. Caffeine (pill, drink, or chocolate) works similar to ADHD meds with amphetamines. Caffeine may have a different affect on someone with ADHD vs. someone without it.

4. Supplements: fish oil, magnesium, zinc, B-Complex. 5. Meditation-Try the Mindfulness app on your phone. 6. Diet: Limit sugar, artificial coloring, and Red Dye #40. 7. Exercise: Have a short “exercise” period in the morning before school and

immediately after school before homework. Ask your child’s school about PE or Recess time and if possible, schedule it for the middle of the day.

8. Behavior Plan with immediate rewards for good behavior implemented consistently. 9. Have a “Cool Down” plan and a place to do it. 10. Spend time in nature each day. 11. Stick to a routine as much as possible. Have the same bedtime and wake up time

even on the weekends. Have set times for homework, chores, etc. 12. Teach him or her organization skills and look at their organization often. 13. Be your child’s biggest cheerleader. Catch him/her being good or doing something

positive and make a big deal of it. Don’t make a big deal out of minor misbehavior. 14. Yoga. This helps with anxiety and depression, too! 15. Diet: Gluten Free (I am gluten free and it’s not as hard as it sounds!) 16. Keep a food diary and try an elimination diet to find out foods that are triggers for

your child. 17. Chiropractic Therapy 18. Acupuncture 19. Good sleep habits (no technology 45 minutes before bed). 20. CBD Oil (Cannabis oil)

About Medications: Deciding whether or not to put your child on medications is a decision that you will have

to make with your child’s doctor. For some kids, they do need medications to be successful, while others do not. Keep these things in mind when starting medications.

• There are lots of different medications for ADHD. It may take a while to find the right one and the right dosage for your child. Patience is key!

• Finding the right medication and dosage is a personal/individual thing. What works for one child may or may not work for another. Let your experiences be your own.

Mrs. Johnson’s ADHD Tips for Parents Page 4 of 7www.brmscounseling.com

Intervention Tools to try at School or Home: 1. Alternate Seating: Wobble Cushion or Chair, Exercise Ball 2. Bouncy Bands/Foot Fidgets 3. Fidget cube or stress ball. (Stay away from Fidget Spinners at School) 4. Chew toys-if your child has sensory issues with his or her mouth (chewing,

spitting, etc.) 5. Weighted Blankets or vests 6. Re-Vibe Wristband-Vibrates every so often to remind you to get on task. 7. Focus Games like “Find It”. 8. Calming Jars (All you need is a water bottle, clear glue, and glitter). 9. An Agenda or Planner. Help them to learn organization skills and to write

things down. 10. Noise Cancelling headphones to block out distractions. 11. Mesh Fidget toys 12. Puzzles and blocks 13. Sensory Bottles 14. Schedule Cards with Pictures (for younger kids) or a Printed Schedule for

older kids. 15. Hourglass timers or stopwatches. 16. Calming Music 17. Cool Down Area 18. Coloring Books

Counseling Options: There are counseling options available in school and outside of school. Ask your school counselor for more information or for

a referral for outside counseling. 1. Behavior Therapy. A behavior plan with positive

rewards to be implemented at home and/or school. 2. Child Psychotherapy. We can refer you for therapy to

help your child to learn to cope with his or her symptoms.

3. Social Skills Training/Group Counseling. This can be in a school counseling setting or with an outside counselor. We practice how to work better with others.

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Tip: Consider treatment plans that will treat your child’s other diagnosis as well. Many children with ADHD also are diagnosed with sensory processing disorders, anxiety (generalized or social), depression, etc. Talk to

your child’s doctor about other symptoms that might not be only related to ADHD.

Mrs. Johnson’s ADHD Tips for Parents Page 5 of 7www.brmscounseling.com

Questions to ask at School: 1. What behaviors are the teachers seeing from your child that are concerning? 2. What interventions are they trying? 3. If your child is falling behind in school, ask about a 504 Plan (see 504 Handout) or IEP

(Individualized Education Plan). These processes are not immediate and are not automatic just because your child has ADHD, but the school does have a process to determine if a plan would be appropriate and you are included in that process.

4. Ask if they can complete an FBA (Functional Behavior Assessment) and BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan) if your child is having behavior problems at school. Work with the school to develop the plan and include reinforcements at home in the plan.

5. What is your child’s reading and math level? How is he or she performing in comparison to other students in his or her grade?

6. What can you do to support your child’s education? Communicate that you want to work together. This will be essential to your child’s success in school.

Possible Accommodations for a 504 Plan (If your child qualifies): 1. Not grading handwriting or allow the use of a computer to type assignments. 2. Allow legitimate movement. Have a procedure in place for your child to move. 3. Never take away PE or recess as a punishment. Kids with ADHD need to have

exercise and movement during the day. If they are misbehaving, this punishment, will only make their behavior worse.

4. Extra time for testing (usually twice as much time for younger kids and time and a half for middle school and older).

5. Reduce homework to 50%. If there are 10 math problems, the child only does 5 to show they know the material.

6. Provide a copy of the teacher’s notes or guided notes (with parts to fill in). It is difficult for a child with ADHD to pay attention to a lecture and take notes at the same time.

7. Repeat and clarify directions. 8. Ignore minor behavior infractions (i.e. tapping a pencil or ticks that a teacher may find

disruptive). If it is a distraction to other kids, then use calm redirection. 9. Nonverbal cues for redirection. 10. Discipline takes place in private (not in front of classmates. 11. Assign the child a job with a title in the classroom so that he /she feels important and

needed. Recognize them for doing the job well! 12. Frequent Breaks during testing and during classroom instruction.

“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison

Keep Trying!

Mrs. Johnson’s ADHD Tips for Parents Page 6 of 7www.brmscounseling.com

Book Recommendations: 1. Marvin’s Monster Diary: ADHD Attacks! (But I Rock it Big Time) by: Raun Melmed and

Annette Sexton 2. The Survival Guide for Kids with ADHD by: John F. Taylor 3. Learning to Slow Down and Pay Attention by: Kathleen Nadeau

Famous People with ADHD: • Justin Bieber (Musician) • Simone Biles. (Olympic Gymnast)

• David Blaine (Magician) • Terry Bradshaw (Former Pittsburgh Steelers

Quarterback)

• Jim Carrey (Actor)

• Ryan Gosling (Actor) • Woody Harrelson (Actor)

• Mariette Hartley (Author) • Howie Mandel (Comedian)

• Audra McDonald (Tony Award Winner) • Kendrick Meek (US. Representative from Florida)

• Matt Morgan (Professional Wrestler) • Ty Pennington (Actor) • Michael Phelps (Olympic Swimmer)

• Pete Rose (Professional Baseball Player) • Leigh Steinberg (Sports Agent)

• Channing Tatum (Actor)

“To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else is to fight the hardest battle you are ever

going to fight.

Never stop fighting.” E.E. Cummings

Don’t be afraid to

ask for h el p

and to admit when you need it!

www.chadd.org (the national resource on adhd) www.additudemag.com (ADDitude Magazine) www.add.org (ADD Association)

Check out these Websites

Mrs. Johnson’s ADHD Tips for Parents Page 7 of 7www.brmscounseling.com

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles

develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

Gandhi

Strengths of ADHD: • Being Hyperfocused-Scienctists, Writers, and Artists are successful because they

can focus on what they are doing for hours on end! • Resilience-ADHD teaches you to be resilient, so when you have hard times later

on, you are able to push through!

• Your personality! Kids with ADHD are often very creative and funny! You are fun to be around.

• You are generous and love to make others happy. You are a good friend. • Ingenuity-You see things differently and can give us another perspective or

invent a new way of doing things! • Compassion to help others. You understand that fair doesn’t always mean equal

and you like to help others be treated fairly.

• You are willing to take risks and try new things. • You are spontaneous! Being impulsive can actually lead to some wonderful

experiences. • You have a great sense of humor and can make us laugh!

• You are romantic and know how to make others feel loved. • Engaging Conversation! Talking to you is always interesting.

• Persistence-you have had to fight through some things, so when you encounter something challenging, you don’t just give up.

• Creativity! You give us beautiful music, art, or movies to listen to and watch. • Multi-tasking-You an do a lot of things all at once!

• Energetic-That “H” for hyperactivity also means you don’t get tired easily and can motivate others.

Adhd does not mean your child is a bad kid or that you are a bad parent!