Mrs. Henry, why did I lose points?

Persuasive writing: Improving my scores!

Check your TONE• Remember ethos, pathos, logos!• ****** Avoid HOSTILE tone *******

“This is the worst idea ever!”• Avoid EXAGGERATED/OVERSTATED CLAIMS

“This will lead to student anxiety, clinical depression and teenage suicide.”

• Avoid INSINCERE FLATTERY“You are the best principal ever and whatever you

choose will bring us students much happiness and joy because you care.”

Strength of reasons

• Were your three reasons DIFFERENT enough, or did you just elaborate on the same basic idea in different words?– We won’t be able to sit next to our friends.– We won’t be able to talk to our friends.– Friends will be at different tables, so we can’t talk.

• What would have helped??? • PREWRITING!

The last I checked, Mr. Coster was Assistant Principal…

• Make sure you keep your audience in mind!• Avoid YOU/WE…instead, use collective nouns– Students - Faculty members– Teenagers - Residents– Adolescents - Citizens– Children - Community members– The student body – Teachers– Parents - Adults

Have a thesis? Or just random pieces?

• Thesis?• ONE single, CLEARLY worded sentence which

contains mention of your 3 reasons• WHERE does it go again???– 2 places….?

One Two Three Four FIVE paragraphs!

• Timed essays = FIVE paragraphs … always!

• Intro paragraph• Body paragraph 1 = focus on reason 1• Body paragraph 2 = focus on reason 2• Body paragraph 3 = focus on reason 3• Conclusion paragraph

Paragraph breaks -- indent

•Paper is LINED to help you ALIGN your writing. •CLEARLY indent paragraphs 1 – 2” on the left side. The rest of the body paragraph should hug the vertical guideline on the paper!

•Avoid one huge, long, uninterrupted stretch of writing!

Within each paragraph, ELABORATE

TOPIC SENTENCE followed by details!

For each of your three reasons,

Supporting anecdoteExamplesFacts to support your reasons

Requirement: TRANSITION WORDS!

• Smooth the way between body paragraphs and ideas:

• One reason• A second reason• A third reason• In conclusion

Transition words: period 7

• Craft a more fluid transition:

One reason One consideration is that…A second reason Another compelling reason is…A third reason Perhaps most significant is….In conclusion In summary, …

Style considerations:• Don’t ASK questions of your reader!• Your job is to establish credibility as a writer – you

are the one ANSWERING the question at hand, not ASKING them!!!

• “Do you think students should be free to select their friends?” NO!

• BETTER: “As adolescents, students are gaining independence and should be free to form friendships.”

Students should be able to choose their lunch seats because it…

• ( TW) Encourages development of communication skills– Needed skill for teens; more comfortable talking with

friends; common interests• ( TW) Provides an opportunity to relieve stress– Friends may be in different classes; cannot talk in class;

relaxed lunchroom atmosphere.• ( TW) Alleviates anxiety for new students– Will not be alone at lunch time; promotes new

friendship