meet

From the moment we walked up the steps of her beautiful home, as she opened wide the doors, greeting us

with open arms and that North Carolina-tinged welcome, I knew that Janet Gurganus was not a typical commanding general’s wife.

Who is Janet Gurganus?Mrs. Gurganus’ path to life as a general’s spouse has been anything but dull. She began her journey in Los Angeles, studying

television production and working for various studios. As the cost of living began to rise, she made a move back to her home state of Colorado and began job hunting. A phone call to a wrong number accidentally connected her to a Navy recruiter and the 31-year-old soon found herself working as an enlisted photographer aboard the USS Eisenhower. “It was an adventure from day one,” said Gurganus. “It was the best experience I’ve ever had in my life. It was also the hardest experience.”

After three years of active duty, Gurganus got out and began working as the Audiovisual Manager for Northrop Grumman at the Joint Warfighting Center in Suffolk, Virginia. During her eight year stint there Gurganus met her husband-to-be, Brigadier General Charles “Mark” Gurganus. At the time he was a Colonel and working as the Observer Trainer for the Joint Warfighting Center. A strong friendship began to grow, but Gurganus never imagined that she would one day marry this man.

interview and story by katie elwell photography by mandi jaramillo

photo courtesy of

Lejeune. For the first time in their year and a half marriage, the Gurganuses were living in the same house. Shortly thereafter, General Gurganus left for another tour in Iraq, this time for 13 months. “We’ve lived together a total of about a year in four years of marriage,” Gurganus said, adding, “I know more about being a general’s wife than I do about being a wife.”

With the vulnerability of Marine Corps life taking over the relationship, the Gurganuses make their relationship a priority. “I think couples have to make time to nurture each other. Otherwise you’ll just lose each other,” Gurganus said. “Mark and I have a rule that when he comes home in the evening, and it might be 7:30 or 8:00, that’s our time.”

LIFE AS A MARINE WIFESeveral character staples have traveled with Gurganus from base to base, including her Christian beliefs, an incredible taste for interior decorating, and an innate desire to make people feel special and help them use their talents.

Everyone has a unique talent they could be teaching others, Gurganus stressed. She recalled meeting a young spouse who was fluent in sign language. “She could take that talent and maybe she couldn’t get a job that pays her for it, but she could teach people how to do sign language.” Do you have a world-class chili recipe? Know how to give great haircuts? Enjoy painting fingernails? Excel at arranging flowers? The base has locations and resources to help you teach that talent to other military families. “Use the two or three years you’re here and teach somebody something you know,” Gurganus said.

Another key to being a Marine spouse is to make friendships, Gurganus stressed. “These friendships will go with you all over the world. I’ve never seen such a support system as I’ve seen in the Marine Corps with friends. However, you’ve got to be a friend. The responsibility of friendships is yours, not theirs.” Above all, you have to make your own happiness and learn to laugh at even the most outrageous situations.

‘04

THE LOVE SHE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUTAfter several years both realized that their friendship was becoming something deeper. “My motto was, ‘I won’t ever marry somebody I can live with. I will only marry somebody I can’t live without,’ and that was Mark,” Gurganus said.

The day that General Gurganus was to leave for Haiti, Mrs. Gurganus traveled to Camp Lejeune to see him off. “That morning I was doing dishes and he had to be at the airport within an hour or two. He sat me down and asked me to marry him. I of course said yes. Then we went and got a hot dog at the gas station and I dropped him off at the airport. He left me to tell his Mama we were engaged.”

On December 31, 2004 they were married in a winter wonderland setting and their life together began with one small inconvenience, two months later General Gurganus deployed to Iraq for his first tour. While her new husband was across the world, Mrs. Gurganus continued working. Retirement was right around the corner when he returned, so they began making plans, but the Marine Corps was also making plans and then the phone call came. He was selected to Brigadier General.

His Marine career was extended and Mrs. Gurganus quit her job to move to Camp

Mrs. Gurganus

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“The definition of abuse is essentially the intentional or unintentional (because it’s not always about intentions) use of physical

or emotional violence to control someone else,” said Peter Morris, Branch Head for the Family Advocacy Program (FAP). His goal, and the

goal of the FAP, is to protect alleged victims of domestic and child abuse, hold offenders accountable, and reduce the violence that is taking place.

Victims of domestic abuse, whether they are military spouses, children or single Marines, can find a safe haven through the Family Advocacy

Program. Currently, two Victim Advocates work to help those who have suffered from domestic abuse or sexual assault. They may communicate with the abuser’s command for the victim, respond to the scene when the MP is called, greet the victim at the hospital, or provide emotional

support in court. The FAP doesn’t stop with helping

the victim though. With the victim’s permission, they will also contact the abuser and help him on the path to a healthier relationship. The FAP’s main mode of abuser recovery is through same-gender group counseling with the goal of getting to the root of the problem and helping change behaviors.

“One of the very basic tenets of my belief in doing this work is that very few of these men are horrible, evil, ugly guys,” said Morris. “They’re people who think they’ve run out of options and acted inappropriately because of that. So

we help them realize that there are other options, that their tolerance is higher than they believe, and it seems to be successful.”

While any healthy relationship has a measure of give and take, victims need to know when the line of abuse is crossed. According to Morris,

it’s time to get help if the repercussions for expressing your point of view result in physical violence or threats of physical violence. If you feel that any attempt to change the status quo would be dangerous, leading to name-calling, being told you’re worthless, restricting access to the family vehicle, or having your finances controlled, it may be time to get help.

If you have questions or concerns about abuses in your relationship, simply call or stop by the FAP office. No one has to live with domestic abuse.

family advocacy programwhat you should know

spotlightonbase

by katie elwell

The opportunity to attend college may be directly related to the amount of financial aid that you are awarded. There is no

doubt that college can be very costly when you consider the cost of tuition, textbooks, supplies, transportation and, for some, the rising cost of childcare.

The Lifelong Learning Education Center maintains an abundance of financial aid information for our service and family members. Stop by for comprehensive information on grants, scholarships and loans. Thousands of private and public agencies and organizations

generously contribute billions of dollars each year to support study, research, creative activities, travel and career development. Many of these generous offerings are specifically targeted for military personnel, their families and veterans. Of course, you can only be awarded these contributions once you have completed the application process.

Many grant and scholarship applications have deadlines early in the calendar year, so act now! Don’t miss out on your chance to attend college and earn a degree. Visit your Lifelong Learning Education Center today!

FAMILY ADVOCACY PROGRAM(FAP)Bldg. 1438Phone: 830.6345

HOURS OF OPERATIONMonday - Friday7:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.

Saturday, Sunday & HolidaysClosed

LIFELONG LEARNING & EDUCATION CENTERBldg. 1524 NPhone: 830.6881

HOURS OF OPERATIONMonday - Thursday7:30 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Friday7:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.

Saturday, Sunday & HolidaysClosed

education cornerscholarships, grants & financial aid

by jeff fourier

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29“If you can laugh at it, you can live with it,” Gurganus said.

MAKING THE MOST OF WHERE YOU LIVELiving in Twentynine Palms, Bridgeport or Yuma, Arizona can often seem like a detriment to happiness for Marine families. The desert air has only helped to accentuate Gurganus’ adventurous side. “I love driving and just seeing where I end up,” she said. “I like just getting lost and exploring new things, seeing what’s out there.” Opportunities abound in Twentynine Palms and Bridgeport that would not be possible in an urban setting. “You could almost take a step back in time and live the simpler life,” Gurganus said. “Teach your kids to milk a cow or ride a horse, how to build a fire and camp, toboggan or ice skate in Bridgeport, or get an astronomy book and learn the stars. We’re so far from the big cities, we can really be creative.

Of course, living in Southern California also offers many mainstream opportunities. “If you can afford it, definitely do the expensive stuff,” Gurganus said, highlighting Disneyland, Universal Studios and Hollywood. Your local Chamber of Commerce can offer plenty of

the same emotions you go through when your spouses are deployed or working long hours are the same the general’s wife goes through. We’re all spouses that go through the exact same challenges, whether we’re 20 or 50. And the great thing about all of us is we can share with each other and take care of each other.”

There is nothing more important to us than Marines, Sailors and their families at Twentynine Palms, Bridgeport and MAWTS-1. We are excited to be living here and we love being a part of the communities.

desert lifestyle winter 2009 15

of an art gallery with an added bar, showcasing various artistic styles and mediums. La Cereza prides itself in producing premium boutique wines in small quantities. Each bottle is a brilliant work of art in itself. The labels, just like the wine, are original works of art and the bottles are hand numbered. Stories of adventure and allure are displayed on the back label to keep the festival spirit alive.

One such unique creation is that of the “Girlfriends” wine and cigar. Both the “Girlfriends” wine and cigar feature the amusing portrait of a cigar-smoking Cuban grandmother (actually a real, living woman named Graciella). This splendid wine combines a blend of white wines with the flavors of citrus and melon. Need a unique gift for one of your girlfriends? La Cereza offers a “Girlfriends Club” that allows you to send wine on special occasions with a customized label.

Much like her sister winery, La Cereza hosts all types of events, creating a European type retreat. The enchanting grounds hold a private dining area, banquet and conference rooms, a courtyard, gazebo, cigar lounge and a special event and wedding tent. With these accommodations, the winery hosts everything from large parties to intimate wine tasting events. La Cereza also hosts fine art shows and concerts on Saturday evenings.

WHITE WINE

BLUSH & RED WINES

RECOMMENDATIONS CHAMPAGNEMAURICE CAR’RIE’S RIESLING

This semi-sweet Riesling is full of apple and apricot aromas. The palate is nicely balanced between crisp, fruity acidity and modest sweetness. Flavors of apricot, pear, peach and pineapple develop in this rich wine.

MAURICE CAR’RIE’S MUSCAT CANELLIThis wine bursts in the mouth with exciting fresh, tropical flavors of mango, papaya, peach and fig. A well-balanced wine of fruit, sweetness and acid makes this one of our most asked for wines.

LA CEREZA’S GIRLFRIENDSThis special blend of white wines boasts flavors of citrus, melon and papaya. La Cereza celebrates girlfriends with this outstanding blend of flavor sensations. Celebrate your girlfriends today with your own collector’s bottle.

MAURICE CAR’RIE’S SARA BELLASara Bella is a blush wine made from Cabernet Sauvignon. We process the red grapes like a white wine, fermenting only the white juice of the grape. Aromas and flavors of watermelon and strawberries come to mind when tasting this slightly sweet blush wine.

MAURICE CAR’RIE’S MERLOTGrown on a south-facing slope in our vineyard. The longer exposure to the sun helps create a wine that is full of fruit, yet light and delicate. You may experience flavors of cherry, blackberry and spice. The fruit develops in the palate and carries well in the long, clean finish.

The recommendation descriptions are from the websites listed in the information box.

Maurice Car’rie & La Cereza both proudly support the military by offering a 20% discount on items purchased

at their wineries.

LA CEREZA’S RASPBERRYBoasting a big raspberry taste, this champagne is ideal for any celebration. Slightly sweet with a clean and crisp finish. Silver Medal - Orange County Fair 2008

LA CEREZA’S “PEACH GIRLS” Bursting with a fresh peach flavor, our peach champagne brings delight to any occasion and will leave you saying, “WOW!”

INFORMATIONMaurice Car’rie34225 Rancho California Rd.Temecula, CA 92591 951.676.1711

Hours:Open Daily 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

La Cereza34567 Rancho California RoadTemecula, CA 92591951.699.6961

Hours:Open Daily10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Visit us onlinewww.lacerezawinery.comwww.mauricecarriewinery.com

ideas. With discounts available at the MCCS Information, Tickets and Tours office and inexpensive lodging at military bases throughout the area, almost any military family, with a little pre-planning, can afford that occasional trip to the big name attractions.

The only way to make life exciting, wherever you’re stationed, is to keep your own attitude in check. “Your attitude is everything when it comes to being a Marine spouse or being a Marine,” Gurganus said. “The attitude of where you live, how you treat people, is going to determine how great of a place this is going to be. You make this community.”

GET TO KNOW ME!This Marine spouse is making the communities her own, and she’s doing it with pizzazz. Whether volunteering with the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society, talking with fellow Marine families at Town Hall meetings, or getting to know her neighbors, Gurganus has found that her best opportunity to serve has been in listening. She wants to know your needs and she wants to know you.

“I think people need to remember that our spouses are the active duty military. We don’t have a rank. Remember that I am as much a military wife, and really, a new military wife, so

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