8/3/2019 Mr Claus and Uganda
1/3
Mr. Santa ClausI sent this letter out several years ago, but I
chuckle any time I read it. I thought in the midst of the
holiday bustle I would hopefully send you a chuckle for
Christmas.Letter 377 from Uganda - Christmas time 2011It has been
reported that a person by the name of Mr. Santa Claus has been
detained at the
border town of Malaba (Kenya/Uganda), Uganda yesterday due to
irregularities concerning his
attempted entry into the country. The charges are numerous and
complicated making it difficult to
report the case accurately. From what we can tell, the following
charges are pending further
investigation:Immigration
Mr. Claus does not seem to have a valid passport and cannot
explain how he passed
through Kenya or intended to enter Uganda. This is further
complicated by the fact that Mr.Santa Claus was not carrying any
form of identification. Though he claims to be known
throughout the world, he cannot substantiate such a claim
through documentation. Mr. Claus admits to having several aliases
such as "Father Christmas", "Saint Nick","Santa Claus", "Chris
Krinkle" and other names in various countries around the world.
This
has thrown a shroud of suspicion around Mr. Claus. Mr. Santa
Claus did not have the necessary $50 to pay for a temporary entry
visa intoUganda.
Vehicle Registration Mr. Santa Claus could not produce the
required logbook (certificate of ownership) forhis sleigh (an
unusual mode of transportation by Ugandan standards). Such
documentation,or a photocopy of the original, is necessary to
obtain a temporary vehicle road license. Mr.
Santa Claus threw the office into an uproar when he claimed that
he would not be using the
roads and therefore should not have to pay for a road license.
He claimed he was going to
fly between destinations. Mr. Claus could not produce the $20
required for his vehicle road license and could notexplain
adequately why his sleigh does not have a proper designation of
engine capacity in
cubic centimeters. Mr. Claus' vehicle does not have a proper
engine number or chassis number to write onthe government papers.
Since such numbers help to verify ownership and identify stolen
vehicles, police are closely monitoring Mr. Claus' statements
and actions. Mr. Claus could not produce any insurance papers to
show that his sleigh was coveredby third party insurance for
international travel. The required temporary insurance
coverage while in Uganda would cost about $50, and Mr. Claus
claims he does not have the
money to purchase such coverage.Airspace
8/3/2019 Mr Claus and Uganda
2/3
When Mr. Claus claimed he would be flying between destinations,
government officialsasked to see his pilot's license. Mr. Santa
Claus claimed he did not have one and has never
needed one since he began his work decades ago. Current charges
include attempting to fly
without a license. Mr. Santa Claus was also unable to produce
documentation showing that his sleigh hadsafety clearance or had
been registered with any aviation society in any country.
Thisattempt to fly an illegal aircraft further complicates Mr.
Claus' situation.
Animal Importation The customs officials immediately impounded
nine animals that are reputedly calledreindeer for quarantine due
to the possibility of infectious diseases. Mr. Claus could not
produce any documentation showing that the animals have been
vaccinated or were free
from dangerous diseases that could devastate Uganda's domestic
animal and wildlife
populations. Local officials say the animals may need to be
quarantined up to six weeks
with all costs of housing and feeding being paid by Mr. Santa
Claus. It is rumored that one of the reindeers has a suspicious
looking red, glowing anomaly onhis nose that worries local
veterinarians who have been called in to assess the situation.
Customs The largest and most serious offense committed by Mr.
Santa Claus is the attemptedimportation of a huge inventory of toys
and merchandise. Mr. Claus did not fill out any
declaration forms identifying his cargo and as a result was
arrested as an alleged smuggler
of goods. More serious charges have been brought since Mr. Claus
cannot produce either
sales receipts showing he is the true owner of all the
merchandise or market prices of the
goods he is carrying. Customs officials, who have the power to
assess value to all goods, are
currently looking through their manuals to ascertain an
estimated cost to all the goods Mr.
Claus was carrying at the time of his detainment. An additional
complication arose whenMr. Claus claimed to have actually made all
the merchandise he was carrying together with
his elfish companions and that he intended to distribute it
freely to his friends in
Uganda. Local officials considered his claim as dubious and have
considered requesting the
help of a psychiatrist from Kampala to help in the case. If
customs officials seek payment
for all the goods on the sleigh, Mr. Claus' bill could run into
the millions of shillings. Mr.
Claus did receive unexpected support from the local medicine men
who are leaders in the
Association of Traditional Medicine. They said Mr. Claus' claim
of flying to destinations and
having elf friends could be true since they themselves have
experienced such transportation
techniques and have met unusual beings.The Kenyan government has
already informed the Ugandan border officials that they will
not
allow Mr. Claus to return to their country since he does not
have proper documentation. It
seems Mr. Claus may be trapped between countries, without
papers, without money to pay for
his merchandise, and without proper documents for his sleigh and
animals. Government
officials in Kampala have been notified of the problem. In the
meantime, Mr. Claus remains in
custody until officials can determine what needs to be done.
