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Motivating Unmotivated Teens
Refresh • Chicago • October 5
If you could?
START BY KNOWING THEIR GOAL
Is the future bright or scary?
WHAT’S THE BIG PICTUREQUESTION 1
QUESTION 1 - WHAT’S THE BIG PICTURE
MAJOR BLOCKS?
▸ Ability
▸ Physical issues
▸ Mental/Emotional
▸ Relationships
▸ Personal Safety
▸ Addictions
WHAT’S WORKING?QUESTION 2
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0 5 1 0 1 5 2 0 2 5 3 0 3 5
SCORE
Search for positive outliers
QUESTION 2 - WHAT’S WORKING?
POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY
▸ Why did they succeed that time?
▸ Focus on what is working to create action and momentum.
WHO ARE YOU DEALING WITH?
FoolishWise
TEACHABLE MOMENTS
ConsequencesAffirmation
AFFIRMATIONS
• Goal: Encourage repeating behaviors
• Use descriptive phrases rather than “empty” phrases like “good job”.
• Focus on process versus the end product
• Say what you saw• Talk less, ask more• External to Internal• Avoid labels.
WHAT DO THEY LACK?QUESTION 3
OUR PROBLEM➤ Our kids don’t think there is a
problem.
➤ They lack emotional trigger that initiates change
➤ They may lack abilities to make the change
BJ Fogg - Stanford Persuasive Tech Lab
QUESTION 5 - WHO IS IN CHARGE?
DON’T MOTIVATE LONG TERM
▸ Threats
▸ Lectures
▸ Inspirational speeches
▸ Punishment
▸ Rewards
▸ Comparisons
IS THERE A GAP?QUESTION 4
“MOTIVATING YOUR INTELLIGENT BUT UNMOTIVATED TEENAGER” BY DENNIS BUMGARNER
QUESTIONS FOR EXPLORATION
▸ Is there anything about your current performance in school that concerns you?
▸ What makes you think you might need to change?
▸ How has your current academic situation caused you problems?
▸ If you were to decide not to change things regarding school, what would happen?
▸ What would, for you, be the upside of doing better?
CONT. QUESTIONS FOR EXPLORATION
▸ If you decide to change, what makes you think you could?
▸ What does it take in the way of education to be an _______?
▸ Do you have a plan to improve performance?
▸ Are you currently using your plan or are you waiting to put it into place?
“MOTIVATING YOUR INTELLIGENT BUT UNMOTIVATED TEENAGER” BY DENNIS BUMGARNER
CONT. QUESTIONS FOR EXPLORATION
▸ How will you know when the time is right to work your plan?
▸ Is there a time when it would be too late?
▸ Is there a time when you might have to decide to change your goal? What would tell you that?
▸ Do you feel you are on track toward your goal?
“MOTIVATING YOUR INTELLIGENT BUT UNMOTIVATED TEENAGER” BY DENNIS BUMGARNER
Rules Values
Buffer Rules
EXECUTIVE FUNCTION
Don’t Only Focus on Behavior
Power of Lists
Chore/Flow Charts
Don’t go too far into the future
Enforce Good Self-Care
2-3 Goals at a Time
Stay Connected
Guarded and Task Oriented
Open and People Oriented
Indi
rect
and
Slo
wer
Pac
edD
irect and Faster Paced
Natural Strengths - structured, accurate, systematic
Motivation - Work
Challenge - Perfectionism
Natural Strengths - decisive action, goal-oriented
Motivation - Power
Challenge - Hard Headed
Natural Strengths - easy-going, patient, good listener
Motivation - Relationships
Challenge - Overthinking
Natural Strengths - fun-loving and optimistic
Motivation - Fun
Challenge - Optimism
Adapted from”LeadingFrom Your Strengths Profile – Ministry Insights.” Ministry Insights.Web 23 Dec.2014
BeforeWorstCase“Tomorrow”Temptation:ProcrastinateVaccine:Start
MiddleThiswillneverwork“Uncertainty”ItissuchalongwayTemptation:QuitVaccine:Move
EndDoubtItisn’t“perfect”Temptation:NeverCelebrateVaccine:Reviewgoals,turnin,Celebrate
OVERCOMING RESISTANCE
NEXT STEP
▸ Email Follow-up
▸ RefreshChi to 44222
▸ Sign-up sheet
▸ www.projectpatch.org/RefreshChi