More on Thesis Statements Topic: Hamburgers “First Grade Thesis”: I Like Hamburgers. – Never use “I”, “we”, “you”… automatic fail Simple Thesis: Hamburgers

More on Thesis Statements

• Topic: Hamburgers• “First Grade Thesis”: I Like Hamburgers.– Never use “I”, “we”, “you”… automatic fail

• Simple Thesis: Hamburgers are the best food.– Is there an argument?- yes, but VERY simple

• Complex Thesis: Hamburgers are the best food because they are flavorful, cheap, and easily available.– This would be a ‘5’ essay level thesis– This is the first-draft thesis on FRQ worksheet

• Complex-Split Thesis: Although America has a wide variety of fast food options, hamburgers remain the best fast food because of the different varieties that satisfy any craving, they are budget friendly, and it is easy to find multiple burger-joints block to block in any city or town.– Depending on evidence analysis in body paragraphs… this

thesis sets you up for an ‘8-9’ essay.– This would be the REVISED thesis at the end of the FRQ

worksheet– It is still concise, but offers greater detail into body

paragraph topics


• Topic: Ice Cream vs Frozen Yogurt• Simple Thesis: Americans enjoy both ice cream and

frozen yogurt. (1-3 essay)– Its simplistic & superficial

• Complex Thesis: Frozen yogurt is better than ice cream because there are many shops, a variety of flavors, and its healthy.– ‘5’ essay- Thesis does not analyze the topic, example:

indicating a changing trend for American dessert preferences. It clearly indicates three topics for body paragraphs, there is an argument- but it does not set up writer for in-depth analysis


• Complex-Split Thesis: Although ice cream has been a staple dessert of the United States for decades , frozen yogurt is clearly becoming America’s favorite because of the increase in shops, variety of flavors, and health benefits. (6-7 essay)– Improves from last thesis because it shows a changing

trend overtime and topics to support the argument


• Complex-Split Thesis: Although ice cream has been a staple dessert of the United States for decades, frozen yogurt is clearly becoming America’s favorite because of the increase in shops allows for more access and consumption, the variety of flavors enables people to suit their changing moods and taste pallets, and frozen yogurt has less fat that appeals to health conscious consumers. (8-9 essay)– I don’t just mention topics, but I briefly provide a

CONCISE argument for the significance of these topics that will support the premise of the overall thesis


• Prompt: Discuss the major goals of women during the French Revolution and analyze the extent to which women were successful in achieving these goals.

• Simple Thesis: Women of the French Revolution had many goals and were not successful. (Bad Thesis…)

• Complex Thesis: Women of the French Revolution were not successful in their goals of political and social equality because after the Thermidorian Reaction, new laws or practices supporting women were repealed. (Better, but still vague).


• Complex-Split Thesis: While women of the French Revolution did make some gains politically and socially during the revolution, after the Thermidorian Reaction, women remained passive citizens, did not achieve full and permanent access to the military and were still bound to separate spheres of the sexes and marriage inequality.– What next? I would analyze how women addressed passive

citizenship, marriage issues and separate spheres during the revolution and demonstrate how they made gains, but ultimately in the end did not maintain significant progress.


Possible Evidence…• Parisian women’s march on Versailles (revolutionary involvement- forced king back

to Paris, forcing him to accept the dec of rights of man…) (political)• Olympe De Gouges: Declaration of Rights of woman

– Inserted “woman”– Wanted marriage equality (social)– Wanted active citizenship (political)

• Pauline Leon- petitioned for women to fight in the wars against Austria (social)– Some fought- but not large scale

• Robespierre- exclusion of women from political life (followed Rousseau’s separate spheres)

• Rise & Fall of The Society of Revolutionary Republican women- fighting social & poltical norms

• Thermidorian Reaction- repealed rights that were given to women- Revolution had become too radical…. Less freedom after 1795 than 1789


• Student Sample: Although having been confined to domestic life and motherhood before the French Revolution in the late 18th century, French women achieved varying degrees of success in participation in the Revolution through the Parisian women’s march on Versailles and the work of female radical revolutionaries. – Body Paragraph 1: Challenging Rousseau– Body Paragraph 2: March on Versailles– Body Paragraph 3: Radical Revolutionary Women

• Student Sample: Although many revolutionary activities excluded women during this time period, women still pursued equality themselves through the Declaration of the Rights of Women which Olympe de Gouges established, participation in political clubs in order to be involved in the movements, and their march to Versailles where they attempted to fight for their rights.


• Student Sample: While women weren’t entitled to the same, if any, political rights as men, they fought to prove themselves and show men and society that they could have that role, in order to enact these attributes the provided insight to men in the Assembly through gossip, fought for their rights by making a counter argument to the “declaration of the rights of men and citizens,” and they had women who stood up against the laws and declarations that excluded women.


• Revise: While women were generally not entitled to the same political rights as men, women fought to prove to men and society that they could participate in politics. In order to prove this, the Society of Revolutionary Republican Women supported the Assembly in finding counter- revolutionaries, Olympe de Gouges provided a counter argument to the “Declaration of the Rights of Men and Citizens,” and women resisted additional laws and customs that excluded them.


• Student Sample: Although women weren’t looked at as equal to men, they made an effort to have an equal part in society which was successful to a certain extent because of radical women leading them to revolt against government in Versailles and writing life-changing documents.– Be more decisive- yes or no, were they successful– Needs a third topic, and too vague, be specific!– Were they really life-changing?


Evidence & Analysis• Evidence is SPECIFIC: people, places, events,

documents, books, paintings, buildings, etc– When introducing evidence you should briefly describe

or define it, so the reader knows what you are talking about

• Analysis: this when you relate the evidence to your thesis. This is when you are supporting your argument! (“link to thesis” step on FRQ worksheet)

• You should explain/analyze at least two pieces of evidence in each body paragraph= 6 pieces of evidence per essay!!!

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More on Thesis Statements Topic: Hamburgers “First Grade Thesis”: I Like Hamburgers. – Never use “I”, “we”, “you”… automatic fail Simple Thesis: Hamburgers