MODULE 4 | PAST EVENTS - TRIGGERS TO CURRENT STRESS

MODULE 4 | PAST EVENTS - TRIGGERS TO CURRENT STRESS

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INTRODUCTION:

Previous Modules have emphasized that non-constructive thoughts support stressful emotions; that 95% of our thoughts are subconscious and 70% of our subconscious thoughts are negative; that supporting these non-constructive thoughts are powerful limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves and our world that are continuously playing in the background and subconsciously being triggered by our current experiences. It is difficult to have a conversation about how stress is caused by non-constructive thoughts and limiting beliefs without including the role of past traumatic events. Traumatic events can be defined with at capital “T” representing a large trauma, such as a car accident or loss of a loved one; or a lower-case “t” representing a small trauma, such as a “look” from Daddy, or criticism from our boss. To the person experiencing the event, both types may seem like large traumas, and can result in non-constructive emotions attached to memories stored in the subconscious.

A trauma is a specific event that is unexpected, threatening, isolating, and results in a feeling of powerlessness. When such an event occurs, the body goes into a physiological reaction called the freeze response. In this moment, every detail of the event is captured by the subconscious. And, since our brain has evolved to associate emotions with experiences, this includes not only every physical sensation (sights, smells, sounds, images, feelings, etc.), but also, all the emotions associated with the event. While our conscious mind differentiates past, present and future events, our subconscious mind only knows the present. Thus, to our subconscious mind, traumatic events remain as current on-going situations in which the non-constructive emotions can continue to be triggered, even years after the event itself.

ACTIVITY #1: Recall A Traumatic Memory (See Activity #1 of Worksheet)

Think of a specific troublesome event in your past that, when you think of it, you can conjure up detailed images and non-constructive emotions like guilt, anger, betrayal, resentment, embarrassment, shame, etc. This represents an example of a past troublesome event that has been stored in your subconscious and, when recalled, produces the same physiological responses as if it were happening in the present. You may even be able to feel the same emotions in your body as you think of that event.

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Interestingly, these events and their related emotions don’t have to be consciously recalled in order to be triggered. They can be triggered

subconsciously by future events that mimic certain aspects. Consider a little girl who had a negative experience with a male teacher with red hair when she was six years old. As a result, she developed an unconscious fear of authority figures with red hair. Emotions from this early event may be triggered whenever she is in the company of someone with red hair. Or they may be triggered during a blind date, or perhaps a job interview with a man who has red hair. She may become nervous, anxious, or threatened, and

have no idea why. She is totally unaware that an old stored emotionally charged event is being activated in the subconscious and causing the same physiological responses as if the event was happening again in the present moment.

This Module explores how to use EFT to access and rewire old non-constructive emotional responses to past memories so that even though the past event can still be remembered, it will no longer evoke a strong emotional response. The rewiring of old negative responses also prevents the activation of similar emotions related to events that occur in the future.

SPECIFIC EVENTS:

Gary Craig, EFT Founder, states that greater success can be anticipated when tapping is used to identify and target Specific Events that are the basis of non-constructive emotions or limiting beliefs. As noted above, Specific Events do not have to be huge traumas, but can be small happenings in our past that still carry an emotional charge, i.e. “The time when my mother slapped my hand when I reached for a bite of frosting.” As noted in the previous Module, childhood events have the greatest chance of being the cause of our non-constructive emotions and core beliefs.

Discovering Specific Events takes detective work. Being a detective means asking lots and lots of probing questions that take us back in time to previous experiences that are related to the current issue. Gary Craig states, “The ‘truths’ on people’s walls were put there by the Specific Events from their past – ...if we can’t see Specific

Events behind someone’s issue, then we need to keep digging.” While there is

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no list of “right” questions to ask, the following charts represent some possible effective inquiries when starting with an emotion or limiting belief.

EMOTIONS

How do I know this is a problem?

What was happening the first time I felt this way?

Can I recall other events when this emotion was present?

Are there particular circumstances that make me feel this way?

Who is present when I feel this way?

Are there other times in the past when I have felt this way?

What corresponding physical reaction is tied to this emotion?

LIMITING BELIEFS

What does this remind me of?

What does this say about me?

How does this make me feel?

Because . . .? (I believe it is wrong to leave food on my plate because . . .?)

What is the payoff or consequence?

What event(s) first made me believe this?

How did I learn this?

When did I make this decision?

What happened to make me believe this?

What thoughts or actions bring this on?

When is the first time I can remember feeling . . .?

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EXAMPLE

The following example illustrates a possible scenario beginning with the emotional eating habit of over-eating and ending with a specific event.

In this example, you may start by asking, “How strongly do I feel that I can’t stop eating, and I must eat everything on my plate?” Before tapping, using the Truth Meter, rate the intensity of how true this statement feels on a scale of 0-10. The following sequence may be repeated numerous times until something else is revealed.

HC: Three deep breathsHC: “I don’t know why I can’t stop eating, and why I feel I must finish

everything on my plate.”TH: “I don’t know why I eat so much”TE: “I can’t seem to stop”EB: “I don’t know why I feel I must clean my plate”SE: “Even when I am feeling full”UE: “I just can’t stop eating"UE: “It’s such a challenge”UN: “Such a battle”CH: “I know it contributes to my unwanted weight”

Take a deep breath, then continueCB: “I can’t seem to stop”TM: “I don’t feel in control”IF: “Food seems to have power over me”MF: “I can’t stop”RF: “I must eat everything”LF: “Otherwise, it is wasteful”KC: “I just can’t stop”HC: “I don’t feel in control”HC: Take a deep breath

As you tap, become aware of any non-constructive emotions, limiting beliefs or past events that may arise. These emotions, beliefs or events may be the very things triggering your poor eating habits. You can then begin to tap directly on this new information. To continue with the example above, perhaps while tapping

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the feeling of “guilt” appeared and was accompanied by a sensation in the stomach. When non-constructive emotions are present, there is normally a corresponding physical reaction. Also, the limiting belief that, “It is wrong to leave food on my plate” may have surfaced. You would then tap on each of these new pieces of information either together, or separately. But,

again, before tapping, rate the intensity of the feeling of guilt, the sensation in the stomach, and how strongly you feel it is wrong to leave food on our plate.

The tapping might go as follows:

HC: “I feel guilt in my stomach”TH: “This feeling of guilt”TE: “In my stomach”EB: “Guilt in my stomach”SE: “I feel guilty”UE: “Why am I feeling guilty?”UN: “All this guilt”CH: “I’m holding in my stomach”

Take a deep breathCB: “Maybe that is why I eat everything”TM: “Everything on my plate”IF: “To avoid this feeling of guilt”MF: “All this guilt”RF: “Where did it come from?”LF: “This guilt about food”KC: “This guilt in my stomach”HC: “All this guilt in my stomach”HC: Take a deep breath

You might then ask yourself, “What was happening the first time I can remember feeling guilty about not eating everything on my plate?” or, “How did I learn that it was wrong to leave food on my plate?” or, “Who comes to mind when I feel guilty about leaving food on my plate?” The answers to these questions will most likely bring to mind a Specific Event in the past that caused the guilty emotion or helped form the limiting belief.

To carry the example a bit further, as a result of tapping on the feeling of guilt and the belief that it is wrong to leave food on your plate, you remember a Specific

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Event that happened when you were six years old. With the best intentions, your mother said in what you interpreted as a stern voice and a disapproving look, “Clean up your plate! Children in other countries are starving and would love to have the food you are wasting!” At the time, this may have represented a traumatic event for you. By tapping on this event, it is possible to release the guilty feelings associated with it and reverse the limiting belief that leaving food on your plate is wasteful. This, in turn may eliminate your emotional eating habit.

Note, because limiting beliefs and emotions such as anger, fear, overwhelm, guilt, etc. are general in nature, it is often best to tap on the beliefs or

emotions before moving to Specific Events, particularly when emotions start out with an intensity higher than 4. Avoid increasing the emotion by jumping directly to a highly charged Specific Event. With EFT, think of a funnel and start general, then get specific as the intensity lessens. Specificity is almost always more intense, so err on the side of being gentle.

TAPPING ON AN EVENT

One of the easiest EFT techniques to use when tapping on an event is the Tell-The-Story Technique. This involves narrating a bothersome Specific Event as though it was a story you were telling a friend and stopping and tapping whenever you get to an emotionally intense part of it. The steps of this technique are listed on page 8 below.

REMEMBER ASPECTS

To fully understand this technique, remember the term “Aspect” (Refer to Aspects on page 7 of Module 2). Remember, an Aspect represents the different details, emotions, or thoughts that can make up a Specific Event or story.

GENERAL

SPECIFIC

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The Tell-The-Story Technique often brings Aspects to the surface without having to dig. Every stopping point is an Aspect of the story and should be addressed as though it was a separate event. Target one Aspect (emotional crescendo) at a time. So, for each Aspect:

a. Estimate a 0-10 intensity rating on this part of the story.b. Use a Setup Statement and Reminder Phrases to target the part of this

Aspect that caused the intensity. Note that the emotion involved is mentioned in the Setup Statement.

c. Keep evaluating intensity before and after each round until the intensity is down to zero or a low level.

d. Go through that part of the story again to see if there is still intensity. e. Once the intensity has been released from that crescendo, resume the

story and look for another aspect or stopping point.f. Once all the intense moments of the story have been cleared, start from

the beginning again and retell the story to be certain there is no lingering intensity.

If nothing comes up in response to your questions, continue to tap on the emotions, body sensations or limiting beliefs. You can also continue to ask

Steps:1. Find a Specific Event that lasts 1-3 minutes and contains at

least one emotional crescendo.2. Give the story a title.3. Identify any intensity you may have when just thinking about

telling the story.4. Take the edge off: If the intensity is a 5 or above, do a few

global rounds of tapping on the title. Do as many rounds as necessary until the intensity about telling the story drops to 3 or less.

5. Start telling the story at a neutral point when there is no intensity.

6. Stop when you feel any intensity whatsoever. At each stopping point, tap to address that intensity.

7. Once the intensity is at 0, begin telling the story again from the beginning and stop and tap if there is another intense part.

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probing questions such as “When was the last time I felt guilty when I didn't clean up my plate?” or “Do I always clean up my plate or is it only during certain situations?” Most likely something will come up. If not right away, be patient and allow the tapping to do the work.

Here is what the Tell-The-Story Technique might look like with our example.

Story: “I remember when I was six years old sitting at the table eating dinner with my family. I wasn’t particularly fond of the asparagus and so I wasn’t eating it. My mother snapped at me and said, ‘Clean up your plate! Children in other countries are starving and would love to have the food you are wasting!’”

Aspect: My mother snapped at me (tone of her voice).

Intensity: The feeling of hurt and embarrassment is at a level of 6.

Setup: “I feel hurt and embarrassment in the pit of my stomach when I hear my mother’s stern voice!” Tap a couple of rounds using Reminder Phrases such as, “Hurt and embarrassment,” “My mother’s stern voice.”

Test: After tapping a couple of rounds, check in on the intensity level. Let’s assume it dropped to a 4. After another round or two of tapping check the intensity again. Let’s say it dropped to a 2. Since there is still intensity ask a probing question.

Probing “What is it about the event that makes the intensity still a 2?” Question:

Aspect: “The disapproving look on her face when she spoke to me.”

Setup: “My mother gave me a disapproving look when she spoke to me.” Tap a couple of rounds using Reminder Phrases.

Test: Check on the intensity of the hurt and embarrassment. If it is zero, begin to retell the story from the very beginning and see if there is any remaining emotional intensity.

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ACTIVITY #2: Using The Tell-The-Story Technique (See Activity #2 of Worksheet)

Using the specific event you identified in Activity #1, or recalling another event that still has an emotional charge, use the steps of the Tell-The-Story Technique listed on page 8 above to reduce the non-constructive emotion associated with that particular event. The goal is to reduce the intensity to zero by addressing all the crescendos or aspects in the event.

Practice• Complete Activities #1 & #2 on worksheet.• Practice tapping daily using the tapping audio meditation found at http://

www.wellnesswithinct.com/module4events/

DISCLAIMER

In participating in the Stress Less and Thrive Program, you take full responsibility for your own emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being. You understand the practitioners at Wellness Within offer their services as mentors and coaches, not psychologists, psychotherapists, physicians, or other licensed health care providers.

All materials included in the Stress Less and Thrive Program are provided for informational purposes only and are not intended to serve as a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, dietary advice, diagnosis or treatment.

If you should have any questions concerning any medical or psychological condition, the WellnessWithin Practitioners advise you to seek professional advice as appropriate before making any health decisions. Information in the Stress Less and Thrive Program should never take the place of the advice of a qualified health care provider.

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MODULE 4 | PAST EVENTS - TRIGGERS TO CURRENT STRESS