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Interpersonal Climate
• Interpersonal climate is the overall feeling, or emotional mood between people.
• It is the dominant feeling between people who are involved with each other.
• It is the foundation of personal relationships.
Elements of Satisfying Personal Relationships
• Investment We invest time, energy, thought,
and feelings into interaction. The happiest couples believe they
invest equally—investing more than a partner makes us resentful.
• Commitment A decision to stay with a
relationship
Elements of Satisfying Personal Relationships
• Trust Believing in another’s reliability
and emotionally relying on another to care about and protect our welfare
Self-disclosure—revealing personal information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover in other ways
• Comfort with relational dialectics
Self-Disclosure When Appropriate
• Self-disclose the kind of information you want others to disclose to you.
• Self-disclose more intimate information only when you believe the disclosure represents an acceptable risk.
• Move self-disclosure to deeper levels gradually.
• Reserve intimate or very personal self-disclosure for ongoing relationships.
• Continue intimate self-disclosure only if it is reciprocated.
Self-Disclosing
Benefits• May increase trust• May increase
closeness• May enhance self-
esteem• May increase
security• May enhance self-
growth
Risks• Others may reject
us• Others may think
less of us• Others may violate
our confidences
Relational DialecticsConnection/Autonomy
I want to be close. I need my own space.
Predictability/Novelty I like the familiar We need to do rhythms we have. something new.
Openness/ClosednessI like sharing so There are some much with you. things I don’t want
to talk about.
Responding to Dialectics• Neutralization negotiates a balance
between the two poles.• Give priority to one need and neglect the
other.• Separate by assigning one need to certain
interactions and opposing needs to another aspect of interaction.
• Reframe by redefining contradictory needs as not in opposition.In general the least effective way to manage dialectics is to honor one need and repress the opposing one.
The Gift of Confirmation
“You matter to me.”Recognize Acknowledge
Endorse
Basic requirements for healthy communication!
Continuum of Interpersonal Climates
ConfirmingClimate
MixedClimate
CyclingClimate
DisconfirmingClimate
Nurture relationships through
supportive not defensive communication
Defensiveness – a negative feeling or behavior that results when a person feels threatened
Defensive Communication
Supportive Communication
• Evaluation • Description • Certainty • Provisionalism• Strategy • Spontaneity• Control • Problem orientation • Neutrality • Superiority
• Empathy • Equality
Ethnocentrism is a form of certainty communication where we assume that our culture and
its norms are the only right ones.
The word “strategy” in a relationship makes some people
uncomfortable. Why? Is spontaneity necessary for
intimacy?
Guidelines for Creating and Sustaining Healthy Climates• Communicate in a way that
actively enhances the mood of a relationship.
• Accept and confirm others.• Affirm and assert yourself.• Self-disclose when appropriate.• Respect diversity in relationships.• Respond to others’ criticism
constructively.
Johari Window
Open Blind
Secret Unknown
Known to self
Not known to self
Known to others
Not known to others
Affirm and Assert Yourself• Assertion is a matter of clearly and
nonjudgmentally stating what you feel, need, or want.
• Aggression involves putting your needs above those of others.
• Deference involves putting others needs ahead of yours.It is as important to affirm and accept yourself as to do that for others.
Respond to Others’ Criticism Constructively
• Seek more information.• Consider the criticism thoughtfully.
Is it valid? If you do not believe the criticism is
accurate offer your own interpretation. If it is valid, how do you want to
change?• Thank the person who offered the
criticism.