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MODELING SUCCESS

WITH NLP

Burt Goldman

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ONE

When I think of successful people I’m reminded of Ed Grush. Ed was a truck

driver when we first met. It was quite a while ago but the memory is very clear. We were best friends then, as we are today many years later, and we often spoke about our future, what we wanted and different ways to get it. Ed’s goal was to make a million dollars. This was at a time when a million dollars meant something. At that time you could buy a mansion in Beverly Hills for seventy five thousand dollars, dinner in the most expensive restaurants was less than ten dollars, and a working man earned about three dollars an hour. It was the fifties; a quiet time by comparison with today’s frantic energies. Eisenhower was the President and his salary was less than a schoolteacher earns today. A million dollars was quite a goal to set but Ed was determined. He knew he couldn’t do it driving a truck bringing home ten thousand a year and he sat down one day and thought what he could do that would open the door to that million.

We spoke at length about the successful people who lived in our neighborhood. There was Vince Solveri, he was a real estate broker and had just opened two offices. Then there was Lester Folb, he had just built four houses on four lots that he bought for three thousand dollars each and had sold the houses for fifteen thousand dollars or a total of sixty thousand dollars. At that time it cost about seven dollars a foot to build and as the houses were eleven hundred square feet Lester’s total investment was less than eleven thousand dollars for each house. Wow, he made four thousand dollars on each house. That was sixteen thousand dollars in four months, a fortune at the time. Ed didn’t want to be a real estate salesman, but a builder, well that was different. He thought he could do anything that Lester could do and so Ed decided to speak to Lester about building and how to go about it.

Now Lester wouldn’t just speak about his business to anyone and so Ed would have to find some means of getting to him. He didn’t know anything about modeling at the time but he did know that people were interested in people who were interested in them. Ed did a bit of research and discovered that Lester was an avid tennis player. He also learned that Lester had a fox terrier and was fond of that breed. At the time ‘modeling’ was not a phrase that was common. As a matter of fact, the concept had never even been thought of, but Ed knew that commonality would work to his advantage and so he worked on things to have in common with Lester. Lester’s dog’s name was Rusty and so Ed bought a fox terrier and named him Rusty. Ed took tennis lessons and although modeling had not yet been invented, he started to model Lester perfectly.

Well I’m going to make a long story short because I’m sure you already know the end of this one; you’ve heard stories like it a hundred times. Ed did become a millionaire many times over but that is not the point of the story, it’s how he went from a truck driver to a successful general contractor. He did it by modeling people in the construction business.

Joe Brandt, a personal friend, was a survivor of the holocaust and wanted me to write a book about his life. I said no a dozen times as I didn’t want to write about that terrible period of time. But then one day I discovered that when Joe came to the United States in 1946 he had immigrant status-- he couldn’t speak any English at all, was

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uneducated as he was a prisoner during his formative years, was just seventeen years old, did not know one person in the U.S., and did not have one single penny, no money at all; just the clothes he was wearing. And yet, when I met Joe he was in his seventies, spoke perfect English, and was a millionaire many times over. How did he do it? Modeling. He modeled the rich, the educated, the creative, and he grew. Oh, and yes I did write his biography, it’s titled Survival and Payback. The book is in my digital library so chances are if you are reading this you also have the story of how Joe went from the lowest of the low to the stratosphere of success.

John Gilbert was a carpet layer who played golf in his spare time for recreation. His score was just over a hundred. He’d given up trying to get to the eighties, or even the nineties. He learned a simple technique to model a professional golfer and he soon found himself playing in the high seventies and low eighties.

Most, if not all successful people, in any field of endeavor, any profession, any business, model other successful people, generally without a clue that they are doing it. Modelers all, but unaware. What happens when you are aware of the modeling procedure, what then? Well, let’s see. I certainly am aware of the procedure, and I will not teach anything until it has already worked for me. After all, if it doesn’t work for me, I can’t really in good conscience teach it to others. After you read this slim volume you might then go on to my Quantum Jumping book. Every time you jump to a successful you it’s modeling on a universal platform.

I never could sing but I learned how through modeling; gave it up as I only wanted to see if modeling worked. I had no training in writing but wanted to and so I started to write by modeling; one of my books was published by Simon and Schuster and was printed in eleven languages. The digital library you are now in is one of the results of my modeling writers. I modeled a photographer and six months later my work was hanging in the museum of the International Photography Hall of Fame. My most recent modeling was that of a great artist; that was four years ago. My paintings sell and people have compared some of my work to Van Goghs, incidentally, I painted my first canvass at age 78. Then I modeled myself through Quantum Jumping and came up with a combination of photography and painting. The photo-art below is a sample of that work.

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I tell you all this not to brag, that’s the last thing I would ever do. I tell it to you because I want you to accept the fact that modeling, when done correctly—works. Also because it can be a wonderful resource in your life. Those of you who have my Quantum Jumping series will see that I modeled the perfect person, myself, who had already succeeded in what I wanted. Now, I’ve taken the NLP concept of modeling, bumped it up a dozen or so notches, simplified it, made it easier to understand and to use; this little tome is the result.

There are three specific manners in which to model a person that you should be aware of. So allow me to walk you through each one so that you may use NLP to its utmost and become successful in whatever field you choose.

First, and in no particular order, there is Visual modeling. Then there is auditory modeling, third there is kinesthetic modeling, and fourth I call VAK, which is an acronym for Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic. VAK incorporates every facet of modeling and so we will go through each one so that you will understand how to use the dynamic modeling concept. With this chapter I will talk about Visual modeling.

VISUAL MODELING

First of all before you model someone, you want to be sure that the person has the attributes that you want. So then, let’s create that person. Let’s create a perfect person. The person that you are going to model first is going to be you. But a perfect you.

You are going to create a new you, a perfect you. Imagine that you have the ability to do that. Sort of like a writer who can set up a character’s entire life. What if. What would your life be like if you had the perfect education? Every one of your teachers was caring, thoughtful, highly intelligent and motivated to give you their best. And further imagine that you had the perfect parents. Parents who helped and guided you every step of the way to be a successful, action oriented individual. You had perfect friends and made all the right choices. You would have turned out to be a problem free individual, a perfect person. Imagine that you that could have been. That will be the person you are going to model. That will be the person who will be your guide, your new blueprint to life.

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But before you model this perfect you, decide on what it is that you want out of life. What are your goals? Pick just one. Pick one goal for that is the goal that you would have already achieved had you been a perfect person. The perfect you already has achieved the goal you are striving for. Imagine this person. Create a mental image of this perfect you with your goal achieved. See this you walking down a familiar street with authority, confidence and a strong sense of self esteem.

There are two advanced manners in which to visualize this perfect self, objectively and subjectively. The objective view is the ‘fly on the wall’ viewpoint. You see yourself doing things. The subjective view is the ‘merger’ viewpoint. You are in the body of the person you are modeling and seeing out of that person’s eyes. Both viewpoints have value. Now to the modeling.

Say that the success mode you wish to model is that of wealth. Your perfect self is a wealthy self with a great deal of money and things that money buys. Car, home, clothes, and other accompanying things of money. Think of a person you personally know or someone you don’t know personally but that you know of; a wealthy person.

Imagine this person along with that perfect you standing together. Note the way they look, confident and serene. Note the way they walk, confident and unruffled. Note the smile on their faces. Now imagine yourself merging with the perfect you. You are taking the subjective viewpoint. Imagine yourself walking down the street in that perfect you’s body. You are walking like that perfect self and have the confidence and well being of that perfect self. You are modeling that perfect self.

Now when you go about your daily business keep that figure of the perfect self in mind and walk and think the same way you believe that your perfect self would. That is visual modeling. You see the perfect you and you act in the same manner.

With the forthcoming modules you will not only understand how Ed Grush, Vince Solveri, Lester Folb, Joe Brandt and John Gilbert made it; but how you can use the breakthrough NLP material yourself—not only that, but you will learn the exact method that I used to sing when I couldn’t carry a tune before modeling, how I wrote with no training or education in that field, how I did… well you get the idea. I discovered the oh so advanced material because I modeled the right people. You’ll learn how as well. You’ll learn not only the absolute latest, state of the art—no, even beyond state of the art because this is more advanced than the current state of the art material you will find around. And one of the reasons for the word enlightened is because after you learn my fantastic methods of using modeling for money, success and wealth, you will definitely be enlightened, I guarantee it. I can’t wait for you to hear the rest of my material; nothing gives me greater pleasure than enlightening people in a simple, straightforward and honest manner.

Here is your first technique for superior, enlightened modeling for money.

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MIDAS THROUGH THE MIRROR

THE MODELING FOR MONEY TECHNIQUE.

Think about an affluent person that you either know, or know of. Imagine that person walking down a street, driving a car, jogging, or whatever the person does. See the person eating, playing golf, tennis, basketball, or any sport. Imagine that person doing things. Spending money, getting money, having money.

Visualize yourself standing in front of a mirror. Visualize yourself reflected in the mirror. Imagine an affluent you is standing on the other side of that mirror, the person you are going to model. Now reach in through the mirror, grab hold of the affluent you and pull that self back to this side of the mirror and allow that self to slip onto yourself.

Go about your business and don’t consider the affluent body over yours, the energy of the affluent person is what you are getting, and what you want. Every now and again think of King Midas whose very touch turned things into gold.

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TWO

Auditory Modeling

I’m reminded of a time that I was talking to an elderly gentleman in Atlanta,

Georgia after doing a seminar there. He was definitely old school and had an accent like syrup pouring over a pancake. It was at a hotel in Peachtree Plaza. He was waiting for the concierge as was I and I started to speak with him just to be friendly. I asked if he was a native of the region as I had just come in from California. He looked at me carefully for a moment and then the words just drawled out of his mouth; ‘Would you all mind not talking so fast?’

It suddenly dawned on me that our speaking rhythm was so out of sync he didn’t hear a word I said. I decided to model his speech without mocking him. I certainly did not want to imitate his syrupy accent, that would have been very rude not to mention the fact that I would have lost all hope of communicating with him. I slowed my speech down but hadn’t matched his as yet. I had to get him to speak a few words so I could establish his auditory rhythm. ‘Sorry,’ I said, ‘I get so used to talking to New Yorkers that I forget I’m speaking fast.’

‘Yes,’ he replied, ‘them Yankees surely do talk like water gushing through a pipe.’

But this time I was ready for him. I established his rhythm with a thought of myself speaking mentally with the same rate and volume as the person I want to match. And so I mentally said, ‘them Yankees surely do talk like water gushing through a pipe.’ I wouldn’t want to say that out loud as it would seem as though I was mocking him and I certainly wouldn’t want to appear disrespectful. But by repeating the words mentally, I automatically get into his rhythm and the modeling comes automatically. After that we had a fine conversation.

I’ve never had a problem communicating with people and have been told many times how easy it is to speak with me. Now I should say at this time that I have had occasion to speak personally to royalty, to leaders of a number of religious orders, to coal miners, cab drivers, waitresses, attorneys, judges, business people, an astronaut, physicists, psychologists, psychiatrists, billionaires and homeless people. I communicate and get along well with them all. How? Simple by modeling them when we meet. I’ve been doing it so long that its automatic and I don’t even realize that I do it.

Just the simple act of repeating the rhythm of someone’s speech pattern before you answer will put you into their auditory space and you automatically start the modeling process.

But even before you model anyone it is important to believe that everyone is right in their beliefs. That seems to be a puzzle, how can everyone be right? It is my own belief that when a person believes something to be true it is true for them, but not necessary for me. Right now the world seems to be divided between believing the universe is ten billion years old or ten thousand years old as many creationists believe. There are even

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those who believe the world is flat. How can I, you may well ask, then believe that the universe is eternal and infinite. Limitless in scope with no boundaries? How can I hold that belief and still reconcile the beliefs of those who disagree?

Because I don’t disagree. No one knows who is right and in an infinite universe, everyone is indeed right. But let’s save that for another discussion and get back to the modeling. It doesn’t matter that you don’t believe what the person you are going to model believes as long as you accept that they are right for them only, but not for you. You are not going to model their beliefs only their success.

Allow me to help you to model the most successful person on the planet as this is written; no, I’m not referring to Bill Gates or Warren Buffet, I’m talking about Barack Obama. Few people will argue with the fact that he is successful. Oh I don’t say to model his speech because you want to become president, but the success patterns are there. He has been called the greatest orator of modern times and few would disagree with that. Even people who disagree with what he says enjoy his speeches. What is it about his speeches that can be modeled, let’s just see.

Quite possibly it is his confidence that shines through. He is so confident in his beliefs that he doesn’t have to attack anyone else’s, he only has to exude the confidence in the belief that he is right. This was most evident during the debates with McCain who, seemingly unsure of his beliefs constantly attacked Obama. Obama didn’t respond feeling so confident the words of McCain just bounced off the armor of his confidence.

My own beliefs, with respect to NLP and the hypnosis techniques of Milton Erickson from which much of the Bandler/Grinder material evolved, are so strong that I seldom noted any failures in my practice. My model was the master psychiatrist, hypnotherapist, Milton Erickson. I heard Milton Erickson speak many years ago and the rhythm of his voice captivated me. Doctor Erickson has long been considered the most advanced and effective hypnotist and hypnotherapists that has ever been. As I had been a hypnotist and therapist myself I thought to improve by modeling Erickson. He spoke slowly and every word was distinct but that was not what I was after, it was his rhythm. Suddenly it came to me how he did it. He paced with his speech, carrying the listener along with the pattern and how he said even more than what he said.

As example if someone were to say Tom Estival went to the market to purchase a pound of ham, well that would not exactly be an earth shattering expression, but Erickson wouldn’t say it that way, he would say it like this. ‘I’m reminded of the time that Tom Estival went to the market to purchase a pound of ham…’ and you would be sitting at the edge of your seat waiting to find out why Tom Estival went to the market. Erickson’s pauses where just as important as his words. He would not say I’m reminded of the time that Tom Estival etc… he would say it more like this. I’m reminded of the time, (pause) and you waited to find out what he was reminded of, that Tom Estival, (pause) went to the market, (pause) to buy a pound of ham. That was his rhythm. That’s what I modeled, his auditory rhythm. And it worked. A year after modeling Erickson I wound up on the cover of the National Guild of Hypnotists monthly magazine as the hypnotherapist of the month. And my classes throughout the United States and Europe grew until I had to limit the size of them. My auditory model was Milton Erickson.

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President Obama is also a master of the pause as well as phrasing. He paces his speeches with connectors like and, because, that is why. His bywords were ‘we need change,’ and everyone had to agree with that. Listen to his rhythm the next time you have an opportunity to hear him. It doesn’t matter whether you agree with him or not, what you are after are the pauses, the connectors between words, and the tone and volume of his speeches. And on top of that, his utter confidence comes through. In other words, not what he is saying, but how he is saying it.

We take this to the next level with auditory agreement modeling.

This modeling of the auditory is especially valuable to sales people but everyone wants to influence other people every now and again. Harry McGrath was a car salesman who decided to model the top sales person in his company. Dunstin Gregor was the top man and Harry couldn’t figure out why. Harry felt he was better then Dunstin, he had read all the sales books and had gone to sales seminars but Dunstin always sold three times as many cars as he did. Harry listened carefully hoping to model Dunstin but he felt that Dunstin didn’t close correctly. He kept telling the people not to buy, and they bought anyhow.

Harry taped one of Dunstin’s sales, with Dunstin’s permission and listened to it over and over again. The presentation was a good one but the close puzzled Harry. He heard Dunstin tell his customer ‘But I do not want you to buy this car… until you’ve read this report on the inspection.’ And then Dunstin would hand the buyer a sheet of paper with the short inspection report. The person would read the report and Dunstin would then have them sign the purchase agreement.

That closing procedure was pure NLP.

First Dunstin would pick a car the customer would like to have. All first time buyers are nervous and cautious and so when Dunstin, instead of using high pressure tactics says; ‘I don’t want you to buy this car… well they breathe a sigh of relief at that as like most buyers are cautious, but then he adds a connector. The connector in this case is the word until. Until what? They think, until you read this report. And if they do in fact read the report, they have bought the car. Dunstin sold a lot of cars using NLP techniques.

Well Harry finally got it, his sales soared, but even better, he was able to get his ten year old to do her homework using his auditory model. He actually used auditory agreement modeling. His daughter would say, I don’t want to do my homework now.’ Instead of arguing, or threatening her with grounding, or taking her allowance if she didn’t do her homework he agreed with her and said, ‘That’s OK, don’t do your homework, (at this point he paused, that was the agreement part, then he continued,) until you’ve turned off your cell phone.’

The psychology here is: getting to the homework is hard, turning off the cell phone is easy, but by turning off the cell phone she is automatically agreeing to do her homework. The way the mind works she heard don’t do your homework; OK, she really didn’t want to do it anyway; and then, until you’ve turned off your cell phone. She turns off her cell phone and there is something nagging in her subconscious; she has to do something. She turned off her cell phone and then without giving it another thought, goes

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on and does her homework. The key however is the agreement. Agreement stops an argument cold.

It works like a charm.

How many ways can you use auditory agreement modeling?

Here’s another way to use it to collapse an argument. A great technique that I personally have used many times over the years. I call it auditory agreement.

Someone is arguing with you, let them talk, let them let off steam, and when they’ve finished agree with them and say, ‘You’re absolutely right.’

This is agreement modeling. It stops them in their tracks. Let’s take an actual case of reverse modeling. Tommy Shanks wanted the mechanic who was working on his car to rotate the tires, the mechanic didn’t want to do and started to argue saying it wasn’t necessary, it was a waste of time, he was busy and there were other customers waiting. Tommy let the mechanic talk, finally there was a moment of quiet. Tommy said, ‘you know something, you’re absolutely right, it isn’t necessary.’

At that point the stage was Tommy’s, he was back in control. The mechanic looked at him quizzically. There was a long moment of silence. The mechanic didn’t know what to say. Tommy had taken all the wind out of his sails. Now that Tommy was in control he could easily lead the mechanic where he wanted to take him. Now was the time for auditory modeling. He spoke very slowly, pausing and emphasizing. ‘If you were to rotate the tires it would take a lot of time.’ The mechanic nodded; what else could he do, the customer was agreeing with him. ‘And you could spend that time with other customers, or doing other work, couldn’t you?’

The mechanic nodded. At this point the argument was over. But the tires weren’t getting rotated either. How do you end an argument and get your way? Here’s how Tommy did it. ‘Let me ask you something,’ he said, ‘if the president of the United States was here asking you to rotate the tires, would you find the time to do it?’

‘Of course I would,’ the mechanic replied.

Tommy looked at him and smiled saying, ‘Well he can’t make it, so I’ll just take his place.’ The mechanic looked at him, shook his head and rotated the tires.

Silly story? Actually it’s true. I happened to be with Tommy at the time, it was right after an NLP class I had presented in North Hollywood and Tommy was practicing. Later he told me he was amazed that it really worked. He had cut what might have been an angry confrontation with that simple technique of agreement and leading the person to what he wanted.

I don’t remember the last time I had an argument with anyone. I always cut it off immediately by saying, ‘you’re absolutely right.’ And then I will lead the person where I want them to go.

To sum agreement modeling up: Wait for a moment without saying a word and allow the person to vent their anger. Agree with the person. Then lead them where you want them to be.

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Joe Zuniga had a carpet laying service. His men worked for the Paul Singer Co. on La Cienega Blvd. near Beverly Hills. The work was very prestigious putting down carpet for celebrities and high priced decorators. One day two of his carpet layers broke an expensive hall cabinet. Unfortunately it was Zsa Zsa Gabor’s house and in moving the cabinet it fell over and the glass partition broke. Zsa Zsa was furious and called the store screaming at Shelly Lang, the man who sold her the carpet.

Joe went to see Shelly to apologize and take care of the matter. But Shelly would have none of it. In spite of the fact the store was filled with customers when Joe walked in Shelly started yelling at him; calling him every name in the book while waving his arms around and telling him in no uncertain terms that his company would never get another job with Paul Singer again and then the yelling got louder. Joe just stood there waiting for Shelly to stop. Finally, red faced and out of breath Shelly quieted down. Everyone in the store looked at Joe who hadn’t said a word as yet. Joe walked over to Shelly and said, ‘You’re absolutely right,’ then he leaned over, and kissed him on the tip of his nose. People chuckled and Shelly backed up a bit saying very calm now, ‘Oh what the hell, come on into my office and let’s get the thing settled.’ Auditory agreement modeling had defused a confrontation that might have cost Joe a lucrative account.

The technique is simple, I call it Harmony. Just agree with the person who is angry and diffuse the situation by leading them to where you want them to be.

Here is still another use of NLP that is practically guaranteed to save you thousands over the next few years. And it will also bring a good deal of satisfaction to you as well. The next time you have a purchase where there is not a price that is solidly fixed by management, and you would be surprised as to how many prices fluctuate, use this simple technique.

Before you use Harmony you must prepare yourself to agree with the other person no matter what they are about. That doesn’t mean you accept what they are doing or saying only that you are setting them up for you to lead them where you want them to go.

You are purchasing something. The salesperson has told you all about the product or service. You smile and agree with everything that has been said, and then you add, ‘Can you do better?’ It’s as simple as that. But let me tell you how it worked for my good friend and colleague Ove Sehested.

Ove, the co/author of our book Better and Better and I were out wandering the streets of Nuevo Laredo one day. We had just written Better and Better the definitive book on how to present a Silva Method class and Ove wanted to meet Jose Silva. I had been the master of ceremonies of the Silva awards convention for a number of years and this was a good opportunity to introduce Ove to Jose. After the introduction Ove spoke at length to ‘the chief,’ and then was in the mood to buy a present for his wife Marie who had accompanied us to the convention.

Ove and I went to a local jewelry store and picked out a necklace, the cost was $350.00. As we were thinking about writing another book on how to train people in the NLP techniques I asked Ove why he didn’t use one of the NLP techniques to save some money of the necklace. He didn’t think that would be proper but I insisted and he used

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the agreement technique. He looked at the necklace, called the jeweler over and said “That’s a good price for this necklace.”

The jeweler beamed and nodded in agreement. Ove turned the necklace over in his hands as though he was reluctant to let go of it. ‘Yes indeed,’ he continued, ‘that’s a very good price for this necklace,’ he looked at the jeweler and said, ‘can you do better?’

The jeweler hemmed and hawed for a moment and then said, ‘Well I might be able to… I can… well, how does three hundred sound?’

Ove chuckled; he was ready to pay the three fifty but now he was into the thing and already thinking about using this story in the upcoming book. He was a man who never bargained with anyone feeling that the price was the price but I could almost hear the gears in his mind turning as he said, ‘Three hundred sounds good, but can you do any better?’

The jeweler shrugged and said ‘Two hundred dollars and that’s the best I can do. I can’t go down another cent.’

We walked out of the shop with the necklace in a nice gift wrapped box and Ove looked at me and smiled. ‘I just saved a hundred and fifty dollars; NLP really works.’

I nodded in agreement.

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HARMONY

AN AUDITORY AGREEMENT TECHNIQUE.

Agree with what’s being said, and then say something that will lead the person where you want them to be.

The agreement. ‘Yes that’s a good price.’

The Lead. ‘I like the product but can you do any better?

The Harmony technique is not only useful for purchasing something the technique can also be used just about any time you want to influence another person to do something that you want them to do. Mrs Rodriquez had a son who was a basketball player. He came to her one day very proud to say that he received a B in chemistry. Using the auditory agreement technique Mrs Rodriquez said to her son, ‘That’s marvelous, I’m so proud of you; do you think it’s possible for you to do any better?’

She showed her pride, and instilled in her son a goal to get still higher grades.

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THREE

Kinesthetic Modeling

In the first module of this series I told you that John Gilbert was a carpet layer

who played golf in his spare time for recreation. John worked for Joe Zuniga that’s how I learned of this as they were both students of mine. His score was just over a hundred. He’d given up trying to get to the eighties, or even the nineties. He learned a simple technique to model a professional golfer and he soon found himself playing in the high seventies and low eighties. He did this entirely through Kinesthetic Modeling.

As with all features of NLP you will always see the submodalities of the original model spelled out. In this case the model is Kinesthetic the submodalities are the shape, the pressure, the location, the size, the texture, the temperature, and the general feel of the body. We don’t have to address any of that because with kinesthetic modeling all the above is automatic.

Here’s how John Gilbert did it. The golfer he wanted to model was Arnold Palmer. To model the great golfer John did it differently then he had heard. He had heard that if you were to examine in specific detail exactly what the person you are modeling does you will get the same results that they do. Act the way they act, if they stand straight you stand straight, if they are bent over a bit you bend over a bit. Imitate their actions and expect the results of success. Alas if only it were that simple. Problem with being that you can model the outer features but not necessarily the attitude which is the main aspect of the actions of the person. The way that John did it took that into consideration as well.

I could go over pages of text and hours of talk on how to model a person’s kinesthetic actions and features but rather then complicate this issue which can be quite simple allow me to tell you what I have learned about modeling during my speaking and training programs. I discovered that it is mainly psychological. In other words virtually everything works when you want it to work, and nothing works when past programs get in the way of your modeling actions. And dealing with past programs is the key to successful modeling. But before I get into that, let’s get back to John Gilbert. His ideal was Arnold Palmer, that was the man he wanted to emulate, and to model for success.

John sat down on a bench at the first hole. He was playing with three friends to make up the foursome. It was a hot day and his friends thought he was mad to sit in the hot sun while they waited their turn at the tee. But John was unaware of the heat or the sun or even his surroundings. He was concentrating on getting to a meditation state. A state that Milton Erickson would call self hypnosis. But whatever you call it the state was one of intense and deep concentration on one subject excluding all the minutia that generally flits through the mind like a hive of bees.

John concentrated on the image of Arnold Palmer. He had seen him many times on television, in magazines, and in the newspapers. The image of Palmer was strong in John’s mind. John imagined himself standing next to the great golfing champion and then he visualized Arnold Palmer’s body coming down over his own like a big, human glove. Now he felt that he was one with Palmer. Just about that time his foursome was up and

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John was first off the tee. He stood in front of the ball and thought, ‘OK Arnold, you hit it.’ And Zing, the ball took off like a shot when the club, coming off John Gilbert’s shoulder like a cannon struck it clean and flat.

Every time John got up to address the ball, he imagined Palmer in his body hitting the ball. It was a perfect modeling as John imagined Palmer’s swing, not his own. The first nine holes John had shattered his old record of 46 by ten strokes. He went around in par, 36 strokes for the nine holes and his three companions looked at him in amazement. John told me that story the next day and he still found it hard to believe the result.

After that he got ambitious and began to model the owner of the carpet shop where he worked. That worked so well that John got ambitious and last I heard he was opening his own shop. John opened Coast Carpet Installers in Los Angeles and at one point had over a hundred carpet installers working for him.

What is it about Kinesthetic Modeling? Is it a magic wand, a genie in a bottle, three granted wishes? No, none of the above. What I believe it is, based on my decades of experience, is a way in which to get a bit of the rhythm of success, the energy of the person who has made it in the field, profession, or occupation that you are endeavoring to model. Once the rhythm is there confidence grows and you take actions. John Gilbert saw himself as a mediocre golfer, a poor businessman, and a person who had found his niche in life, carpet laying. He built that box he was in brick by brick by brick until he had a structure that he couldn’t break out of. That was his rhythm; mediocrity. And he was satisfied with his place in life.

When he modeled success and put on the body of the great golfer, and the successful businessman, he broke out of the box and on the other side saw opportunity. The empathy of the characters he slipped on over his body had a different rhythm and just as the A string of a piano will vibrate in sympathy with an A tuning fork when it is struck, so had he vibrated to the success energy when he used Kinesthetic modeling.

Now allow me to tell you a story I wrote long ago, I call it, The Mud Hen, it’s in other books here in the library but worth repeating.

Once upon a time there was a man who made his living selling newspapers on a downtown street corner. He lived in a damp, single room apartment that was too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. He we aware of his newspapers, his simple room, his ill-fitting secondhand clothing, the simple food he ate, and little else. Other people he knew lived differently, but it was difficult for him to imagine that other world. How could a mud hen hope to aspire to the grandeur of the eagle, slowly circling higher and higher, working a swirling updraft, wings spread proudly in magnificent flight?

The Mud Hen’s name was Bobby, and every morning when he awakened, eyelids still clogged by the effects of sleep, his first thought was to see himself standing on his corner hawking newspapers. The visualization was always the same, half a dozen under his left arm and a single newspaper held in his right hand as he shouted out the headline in a raspy voice hoarsened by years of abuse. Some mornings, still half asleep, he would see a customer give him a dollar, saying “Keep the change.” On these mornings he would open his eyes and smile it would be a good day. As he ate a simple breakfast of biscuits, bacon, and coffee, he would think about how many newspapers to buy. If he really felt

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good he’d order half again his normal quota. If he did not feel good he would order only half as much.

Seeing a beautiful woman on her way to work, he’d visualize himself selling her a paper. Seeing a well-dressed man, he’d think, “That one’s gotta be good for a dime tip.” If he saw a policeman, he would see himself handing the officer a paper and the policeman smiling at him Passing a stockbrokers’ office, he’d imagine the brokers busily engaged in reading one of his newspapers.

He related everything to newspapers. They were his life his world, his reality. Everything he was conscious of he would in some manner relate to newspapers.

He believed himself to be a small, raspy-voiced failure of a man capable of selling only newspapers and so he was, for he accepted only information which reinforced that belief. He enclosed himself in a structure he himself had built, brick by brick by brick. Every time he bought himself a worn-out pair of second hand pants he added a brick. Every time he brought home a stale, crusty, day-old bread to save fifteen cents he added a brick. Every time he sold a newspaper he added a brick.

In the mornings, as he slowly pushed himself out of bed, he saw himself selling papers and being tipped for his efforts. In the evenings he thought over the day’s events and smiled because of tips or sulked because of torn papers. It was then he added the mortar.

And so he lived, and so he died, never knowing that he was an eagle all the while. An eagle bound with the most senseless chains of all. Those of limited awareness. For what good is being an eagle if you believe yourself to be an earthbound mud hen? Believe yourself to be a mud hen and you will not only see one in your mirror, you will view the world from that perspective.

Quite a sad ending. Would Bobby have been happier with different appetites? He never had the chance to find out. He wasn’t free to choose. He was in a niche he had himself created. He could never find an out passage because he’d walled himself up in a structure without a door.

His rhythm was exactly what he himself had created, but what if? What if Bobby had used Enlightened NLP and Kinesthetic Modeling? What if he had modeled one of the successful people who bought his newspapers? The very fact that he desired something better would have led him to something he did not have before that, choice. Suddenly he would have choices in front of him. His rhythm would have changed, his aspirations would grow, and had he slipped on the body of one of the successful business people he knew there is no telling how high he would rise, how successful he would be.

In the next chapter VAK, putting the Visual, the Auditory and the Kinesthetic together you will learn why we call this the most advanced NLP on the planet. Reach for the stars and who knows, you may find yourself immersed in stardust. Happiness, satisfaction and success are waiting just around the corner.

Here’s how to use the technique to overcome shyness, build confidence and enhance self esteem.

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First of all pick the person is already accomplished in the area you want to copy. I you want to build confidence think about the most confident person you know, to overcome shyness think about the most outgoing person that you know. Whatever feature you want to build in yourself, think about a person who already has that feature. The person can be someone you know, someone you know of, or even a historical person from a hundred or a thousand years ago. As example if you have a problem meditating think about a monk comfortable in the meditive state and slip his body over yours.

After you pick the person you wish to model kinesthetically just imagine slipping that person’s body over your own and let that person take the action. Your energies will mesh and you will find an instant improvement in the feature you are modeling. This E=NLP technique is called the ‘Slip-On’ technique. Here’s still another way you can use it. You can slip on your own body to access creative resources you have, but do not know you have. This is an excellent manner in which to access your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious, or your inner mind, sometimes called the creative unconscious is always at work at deep levels. The Slip-On method of reaching these levels of the mind very often will unlock past programs and release those that are causing problems, here is your technique for accessing those creative resources of yours.

There are memories, life experiences and many hidden abilities within your inner mind that you do not realize you have. However a younger, more vibrant you has access to these abilities. By closing your eyes and enhancing alpha wave generation you shift from the rational left hemisphere of the brain to the holistic right hemisphere with it’s closer association to the information that you are looking for. Here’s how to do it.

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DANCING EYES

DANCING EYES

THE TECHNIQUE FOR ACCESSING CREATIVE THOUGHTS

Sit comfortably and close your eyes.

With eyes closed move them from the right to the left so that if your eyes were open they would shift from the right edge of the right eye to the left edge of the left eye. Move your eyes on this horizontal plane six times, as though your eyes were dancing, stop the eye movement, and then say to yourself, I want to go back to the me that can access all my creative resources. I am going back to the me that can access all my creative resources.

Start the eye movement again going from the right edge of the right eye to the left edge of the left eye. Do it six more times.

Relax.

Allow the image of a younger you to come into your visual imagery. When you have an impression of that younger you just slip that image over yourself so that you merge.

Clear your mind and what comes in should be resources, ideas and creative notions that will help you to solve problems and evolve into a better person.

I call that technique Dancing Eyes. Dancing Eyes can be used for other things as well as you will learn during the following chapter.

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FOUR

VAK Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic Modeling

We will begin with an enlightened NLP technique for getting rid of a problem thought that is bothering you. The thought could be one of fear, of a person, of an event, or of a food. Allow me to use the thought of food as that is the one thought that everyone has at one time or another. As example say that you are on a diet and the thought of chocolate comes to you so often that it is all you can think of. Hold your two hands out in front of you palms up. Imagine chocolate, a bar of chocolate, chocolate cake, chocolate pudding, or whatever it is that is bothering you. Imagine that chocolate in the palm of your right hand. In the palm of your left hand imagine a head of lettuce. Look at the palms of both hands. Visualize the chocolate in your right hand and the lettuce in your left. Now clap your hands together. The desire for the chocolate is gone. I taught this technique to a gentleman from Switzerland who paid for me to fly to Montreux, a small town located at the north edge of Lake Geneva, because he was having a problem not with food, but with an event in his life. I’ll tell you about Jacques Armel in a moment but for now back to the technique.

Whenever you have something that is bothering you, whether it is a thing, a person, an event, or a fear. Whatever. Imagine that thing in the palm of your right hand. In the palm of your left hand imagine something innocuous, something that is neutral in your mind. Look at each hand and imagine the fear in one and the neutral thing in the other and then clap your hands together to symbolically smash them apart. And just like that, the thing that bothered you is gone.

Let me tell you about Jacques Armel. Jacques was taken prisoner in Bosnia during the fighting there and was tortured for over a year. He spent another year in a French hospital before settling in Geneva. He came from a wealthy family but his life was a ruin he was so depressed. All he could think about was the period of captivity and his tormentors. He was actually contemplating suicide when he called on me. He thought of the men who tormented him all the time, he thought about that period all the time.

I taught Jacque this technique that I call simply, ‘Problem Smasher.’ It’s one of the most useful techniques we have.

I asked Jacques on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst, where was the thing that was bothering him; he said it was a ten. Here is the technique we used for Jacques.

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PROBLEM SMASHER

THE TECHNIQUE FOR DEMOLISHING UNWANTED THOUGHTS.

First, sit and get comfortable. Now take a Mind Journey and think of the thing that is bothering you. Jacque thought about his prison cell, the man who tortured him, the bad food.

Use Dancing Eyes to neutralize a bothersome thought. While thinking of the thing that is bothering you, and with your eyes closed, move your eyes from the extreme right end of your right eye to the extreme left end of your left eye six times as rapidly as possible.

Then imagine the thing that is bothering you in the palm of your right hand, and a head of lettuce in your left hand. Jacque followed along and his hands were held out in front of him palms up.

Now use the Problem Smasher and clap your hands together. And Jacque clapped his hands together with a bang.

Coming out of his Mind Journey, Jacque kind of smiled, shook his head and said, ‘I feel wonderful.’

‘What about that period in your life. On a scale of one to ten where is it.’

‘It’s gone, it’s a zero. I have to try hard to think about it but I don’t want to so I won’t.’

I spoke to Jacque the next day and he reported that life was starting again for him. The Problem Smasher is such a powerful technique especially when used with thoughts of despair that it sometimes seems as though you have a magic wand as a resource.

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MIND JOURNEY TO THE PROBLEM SMASHER

Use the following as general directions only, just day dream the technique.

Relax. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. Allow each breath to relax you more, and more. Allow your mind to take you on a short journey. A journey to the land of Alpha. Alpha where all cares are left behind and only peace and ease of mind live. Alpha the place where you can rest from any stress that nibbles at your mind. Alpha the jumping off place to get to hidden resources.

Allow your mind to take you to Alpha. Just imagine that you are going on a journey, a short journey.

Relax.

Anything at all that troubles you at this time allow it to come forward. You can deal with it here in the Alpha world. Just allow it to come and when it does imagine that it is in the palm of your right hand. With your trouble in the palm of your hand you can deal with it. Now put something in the palm of your left hand, something that is harmless and bland. You may use a head of lettuce, or anything else that is harmless and bland.

Imagine the trouble you want to rid yourself of is in the palm of your right hand and a head of lettuce is in the palm of your left hand. Get a good mental image of this. Now mentally clap your hands together with a smash. Problems gone.

Whenever the problem comes back use the Problem Smasher and soon it will be gone forever.

Relax.

Allow that information to be installed in your subconscious.

Know that the Problem Smasher is now installed and programmed for you to use whenever you have anything that is bothering you.

Whenever anything bothers you just visualize it in the palm of your right hand and visualize something neutral and harmless in your left hand and then clap your hands together.

That was a short Mind Journey to program the Problem Smasher in your inner conscious. It is always available to you to take care of whatever problems you may have.

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And now I would like to get back to VAK, the Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic combination to facilitate your natural modeling abilities.

When you wish to model a person who has the qualities you admire and desire first use the visual model by seeing how the individual walks, holds him or herself, how they move and if it is not convenient to emulate them physically imagine yourself moving as they do. Listen for the sound and quality of their voice and mentally speak in the same manner as they do, the same volume and pace your voice to their rhythm, and last in your great imagination sense them standing next to you and then just put their body over your own like a glove and just slip into it. Do this prior to any action that you wish to follow in their footsteps.

There is an old homily that says: Do not judge another person until you have walked in their shoes for a full month. To take that even further, by using the visual, auditory, and kinesthetic modeling of the person you wish to emulate for one month you will find more and more that you will be gathering in their energy and begin attracting the same things that they are attracting.

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FIVE

How to Model Anyone’s Success.

As I was completing this series on modeling my phone rang, it was Ed Grush. Well that was a coincidence I had just finished writing about him. He was coming to Palm Springs for the tennis matches here in Indian Wells; he has a box seat and always invites me to sit with him and his wife Sylvia. But it was a bit warm today even though we are in early March and I declined. We did however have dinner and made plans for golf while he was here. I don’t play much golf any more as I can’t spare the time being busy with my writing and painting but I always make time for my good friend Ed. While we were together I spoke about what I was working on and as Ed and many of his family members were graduates of mine he was interested. I asked him one of the pertinent questions that interest everyone, what was it about him, and many of our successful friends, that was different from people we knew who just couldn’t seem to make it in life?

We spoke of belief systems and after a great deal of discussion decided that we both had the same empowering beliefs that somehow made us different. The main, and I should say, fundamental belief being that all people are equal to all other people. That being said let me elaborate because if you want to model a successful person but are held back by your old limiting beliefs it will be much harder for you to break out of the box that you have created for yourself. In other words self sabotage will hamper successful modeling as when you feel that you are limited in attracting good things for yourself then you will also feel that you only deserve so much. So much in the way of money, so much in the way of relationships, so much in the way of friends and so on.

The belief that breaks you out of that mold is a belief that all people are equal. Whether you are with a billionaire or a pauper, a royal or a trash collector, a grossly overweight person or an anorexic, a beautiful person or a homely one, if you view them all as equal, and you neither see them above you or below you, then you indeed have the belief of equality. I have always felt that way; today I discovered that Ed Grush feels that same way as well.

It is difficult to model someone if you feel inferior to them or for that matter superior to them. But feeling equal to them, modeling is a breeze. That is the first thing you must work on; equality. And we are all equal in that we are all human beings. That should be the new belief. Different yes, but equal in our humanness. A cat hears better than we do, a dog picks up a scent that is undetectable to us, an eagle sees farther, a cheetah runs faster, a chimpanzee is stronger, a whale can hold its breath longer; we don’t compete with animals, we are not equal to animals, nor do we compare ourselves with animals. But with regards to humans we are definitely equal. Some people are stronger than you, some are weaker, some are smarter, some are dumber, some are taller, some are shorter, but all are human beings and so all are equal in that respect, different yes, but equal.

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The first step in our blueprint for success is the belief that everyone is equal to everyone else. Once you have that belief set then the modeling is easy. But what if you are modeling a person who doesn’t have that belief? What if you are modeling a person who believes they are superior to you because they have more money, more things, a prettier wife, a fancier house; what then? Ah, that’s their problem. You are modeling their belief in success not their egotistical beliefs. Ego is your opinion of yourself, if their opinion is that they are better than or worse than you that ego will hamper them in many ways but not in the belief that made them successful in first place.

I was once the guest of a Baron and Baroness of Austria. Sorry but I don’t divulge the names of the royals I have known. The Baroness was a personal friend but her husband I hardly knew. Their wealth was centuries old and I must say the Baron was a bit aloof to me. I treated him the same way I treat my old and dear friends and before the evening was over the Baron had let down his hair and before you knew it he acted as though we had been friends for years. I could repeat that story with an Indonesian princess, a Sultan, a princess of the Netherlands, and other royals. Why do I fix on royals? Because their belief that they are better than the common people is programmed in them from birth. Feeling equal to a royal truly breaks you through the barriers of belief.

Ed Grush feels the same exact way. He looks up to no one, nor does he look down on anyone. You must work on this above all. That all people are equal. Different yes, but equal. Competition plays a major role in this feeling of equality.

People are constantly competing with other people who they feel are superior to them. Our society feeds this competitive nature in sports, games, gambling and a host of other events. Competition chips away at that belief of equality. The way around this negative belief is to compete only with yourself.

When you see other people as human beings, you begin to realize that every human being on earth can do things that you cannot. The converse is true as well. You can do things that no other human being on earth can do. That does not make other people greater than or lesser than you. It simply makes them different in particular aspects of their lives. Are they better for it? Perhaps from their point of view they are. From your point of view they are no better but simply different.

Take a look at two trees. Say that one is a thousand-year-old redwood, a great stately tree. You look at it and than look at a small, stunted pine tree trying to grow through a crevice in a mountain rock. Do you see the redwood tree as better than the pine tree? Of course not. All you see are two trees, and that’s all you should see because that’s all they are. One is larger, the other smaller; better doesn’t enter into it at all. When you see two people, whether one has an outstanding talent or not, what you’re looking at and what you should be seeing are simply two people.

When you are indeed able to see two people, and there is no competitive urge to be better than either one, then you have reached a high level of self-esteem and can see yourself for what you are — a human being—equal to every other human being.

I spoke of John Gilbert in an earlier module. John serves as a good example of the benefits of competing with oneself. John, a carpet installer who attended my seminar, was

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constantly striving to do better and be faster at his job than anyone else, without success. After the seminar he decided to change his belief that others were better than he was. He decided to compete with himself. His job at the time was laying carpet in a new development of tract houses that were all the same layouts.

For the first time in his life he brought a stopwatch with him. He timed the installation of carpet in every room. The bedroom took him one hour, the hallway two hours. The living room an hour and ten minutes, the stairway two hours and thirty minutes. He finished the job, noted all the times, and carefully placed his notebook in a pocket.

The next day he felt more enthusiasm for his work than he had in some time. He pulled out his notebook and stopwatch and began. His goal was different from what it was before. Now his goal was to install the bedroom in less than one hour, to install the hallway in less than two hours, to install the living room in less than an hour and ten minutes, and to install the stairway in less than two hours and thirty minutes.

Before he knew it, the day was over and he had cut thirty minutes off his previous time. He fairly bristled with anticipation of the next day.

It wasn’t long before John was the fastest carpet layer in the shop. Then he decided to go for the perfect job. He would attempt to make seams invisible and perimeters perfect. After he achieved his new goal he sought out the more difficult jobs. John became the top mechanic in the shop, and decided to open his own shop. He started a modest establishment and solicited a few accounts. He continued competing with himself. When he got an account, he determined to get a better one the next week, and a bigger one the week after. Within two years John had the largest carpet installation shop in the country. Needless to say his self-esteem grew along with his business—mainly because John decided to change his belief system and compete with himself.

What all that boils down to is that if you want to model the empowering belief system of the successful people you know of or have heard of, you must first of all feel that that person is neither better than, nor worse than you. The person is just a person who has broken through and attracted the success that you want to model. When you use any of the techniques in this series of modules to model anyone, first of all get a sense that they are human just as you are and that what you want to model is the energy of that success; the rhythm of the success of that person.

A strong sense of self-esteem and belief in yourself is generally due to feeling equal to all people. Neither feeling better nor worse, higher nor lower than any other person. When you feel neither better nor worse, higher or lower than any other person, you feel equal to everyone. Every person in the world is a human being and in that respect we are all equal. A human being is just that – human as opposed to non-human.

Every president, king, queen, emperor and empress is a human being. Every judge and trash collector is a human being. Every sanitation worker and millionaire, every pauper, every tailor and architect is a human being. Every attorney, artist, doctor, clerk is a human being. Every foundry worker, farmer and miner, every tramp and every

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captain of industry, every businessman and every housekeeper is a human being. You are a human being and therefore equal to every other human being on this earth.

Every human has their own unique qualities that make them different. Not better, different. You have your qualities. Everyone has their own qualities. There are things that you can do that no other human being on earth can do. There are things that every other human being on earth that you cannot do. The things that you can do are unique unto you. You are unique. You are equal to everyone else on this earth. Repeat mentally after me. “I am a human being. I am equal to every other human being on earth. I have my own unique qualities that make me different. They have their own unique qualities that make them different. No human being is better than you are. They’re only different from you. Believe that you are as good as any other person on Earth.

Imagine yourself at a gathering of people. A social gathering. There are all kinds of people at this social gathering. There’s a prince, a president, a famous actor, a singer, a musician. There’s a doctor, an architect. There’s a judge and a clerk, a secretary, a ditch digger, a plumber, a sanitation worker, a farmer, an unemployed carpenter and many others. You and they are all human beings. You and they are all equal as human beings. You’re not better than or worse than the prince or the judge. You are not better than or worse than the farmer or the ditch digger. They are human. You are human. You are all equal. Every one of these people can do things that you cannot do. You can do things that they cannot do. You’re all different. Think of the things that you can do that the prince cannot do. Think of the things that you can do that the judge cannot do. Think of the things that you can do that the coal miner cannot do. Think of the things the coal miner can do that you cannot do. These things do not make the coal miner lesser than or better than any other person at this social gathering. You are all unique and have your own quality. You are unique and have your own quality. Your mind is unique and has it’s quality. You are equal to every other person on this earth.

Imagine this gathering of people with different professions and occupations. Mix and speak with them mentally. You are all equal. Tell them about the things that you do. What you do. The things that you do that they cannot do. Speak about the positive nature of what you do. Mix with this group. Imagine that you are there

Whenever you think of your occupation, what you do, think of the positive aspects of what you do. Everything that everyone does in some way adds to the whole and is a contribution. Think of the ways that you contribute. Think of the things that you do that help humanity. Every leaf that falls makes a contribution. You make a contribution. Let every man be as a brother. Every woman a sister.

When you view all people as either sons or daughters, fathers or mothers, and brothers or sisters, your view of the world changes and you can truly love your neighbor. You can truly see the positive aspects of your neighbor. They are no better than you. You are no better than them. All are equal. All are different. Accept people for what they are. They are they. You are you. Sense the positive nature of everyone and the world will be a better brighter place for you for everyone has a positive nature. When you are involved with a negative individual, remember that they are negative because

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they feel an inequity in life. They do not feel equal. You know better. You know that all are equal. You know that things are different, but equal in that we are all human beings.

Repeat mentally, ”I feel better and better. I see the good in myself. I have a positive viewpoint toward myself. Every day I get more and more confident in my own abilities.”

Now imagine a mirror in front of you. Imagine that you can see your reflection. That is the old you. In back of the mirror the new you is standing; the you who has a strong belief that you are the best. The you that is standing behind the mirror is the best and has a strong belief to that effect. When you are ready to change into that new you, that you with the strong belief that you are in fact the best, and whatever you do you will from this time forward do better. The you standing behind the mirror competes only with self, not with anyone else. When you are ready to change into that you; reach through the mirror and pull the new you forward to take the place of the old you in the mirror.

Do that now. Reach through the mirror and pull the new you through the glass to this side of the mirror.

And those are the techniques of modeling success with NLP.