Mindfulness Cheat Sheet

Tanya O’Rourke

It seems right for us to begin to the school year, picking up where we left off, with Mindfulness. For me, the beginning of a new school year can feel like being shot out of a cannon. I seem to spend the rest of the year trying to catch up and remembering to pick up the right kid at the right time. To fall in line with all things cliché, time is just flying, and the further along my children get into their academic career, the harder I am trying to me mindful and to appreciate the special moments and memories that this time can hold. As much as I don’t think that we need to hash out all of the details on Mindfulness again, it might be beneficial to offer a quick refresher, so that we can appreciate the work that teachers will be doing in classrooms this month!

Mindfulness is basically the practice of actively paying attention to the present, to the now. Mindfulness is a way for us to not only “be in the moment,” but to also see, feel and hear the moment. In June, we talked about how to help our kids practice Mindfulness as a way to support their emotional and academic growth. We spoke at length last school year about how these two things are so closely connected, and teachers once again, will be embracing social and emotional learning in classrooms at East Ridge, including the practice of Mindfulness.

We know that children who demonstrate solid social and emotional skills like, empathy, kindness, gratitude, resilience, persistence, optimism, and much more, perform better academically. These kids have better impulse control, are less distracted, can sit still longer, have greater self-awareness and a willingness to persevere.

Mindfulness Cheat Sheet: What are some quick facts that might help guide us at home while we support the work that our teachers are doing in classrooms? I’ve gone ahead and collected a few facts from various sources to help guide us this month.

Present moments last 3-4 seconds on average. “Research by Daniel Stern has found that our experiences of an “uninterrupted now” are moments that typically last 1-10 seconds, with some exceptions for very experienced meditators. What this means for parents – don’t overwhelm yourself with unrealistic ideals of how to practice mindfulness. You don’t need to create a patchouli infused, floor pillow filled, bohemian meditation space in your home. Although, that does sound lovely. Teaching kids how to focus on the present can be as simple as asking them to listen to the lyrics of a song for a couple of seconds, to close their eyes during a car ride and ask them to name at least 10 sounds that they can hear. Or, as they are running back from their soccer practice or coming home from their piano lesson, ask them to notice the sunset, the smell of the air, the temperature change . . . you get the idea😊.

The scientific definition of mindfulness involves SELF-REGULATION and CURIOSITY. I find it super interesting that, both of these things, which can be seen as being at odds with one another, go to make up the most formal definition of mindfulness. In this definition, self-regulation deals with the “paying attention to,” or the focus, involved in mindfulness. Scientists also agree that an “attitude of curiosity, openness and acceptance” is central to the practice of mindfulness. What this means for parents – we are interested in teaching our kids things like impulse control and how to organize a backpack because they are connected to one another and they are key to their academic success.

The ability to keep our things organized takes practice, the same is true for impulse control and positive behavior. Expecting or prompting our kids to behave well every now and then will work just as well as having them use a planner or organizer (in older grades), or empty their take home folders, once a month. In other words, not very well. The ability to become mindful of these things takes constant and even daily practice. In being organized, I find that that my kids end up being able to find the time to take advantage of the things that continue to interest them, because they are able to carve out more time when time-management is a priority. Chances are, you already have some fantastic habits established in your house. Be mindful of the ones that aren’t working and be open and take pause with the ones that seem like a constant struggle. Routines - each of my kids will hear me tell them the same thing almost every morning before they leave for school, “Be kind, work hard and have fun.” Almost every night they know that they will need to report to me, somehow, on their day. For the older ones, whose routines have been established, I’ll ask them how their day was, how much homework they have, and ask them if they will be able to get everything done by 10 p.m., because that’s lights out in our house. The better they run their schedule and their academic performance, the more freedom they have. I don’t check their daily schedules/planners unless a red flag gives me reason to. For my 3rd grader, the routine is always the same and being established everyday in the practice; empty take home folder, empty lunch box, put backpack away, wash hands, snack, homework time. Once everyone gets done what they need to do, they get to do what they want to do.

Mindfulness and Gratitude are very closely connected skills. We know that the active practice of gratitude has the power to change our brains. It’s true! In fact, the practice of Gratitude is a Mindfulness exercise “Gratitude is a skill that can be developed and strengthened with mindful practice. Imagine that you are bad at a particular activity… with consistent and deliberate practice you can improve. The same goes for developing authentic gratitude.” What this means for parents – just simply asking or telling our kids to be grateful isn’t nearly as powerful as giving the opportunity to practice it. One of the most popular mindfulness activities for kids is to keep a daily gratitude/mindful journal. These journals can be a free writing exercise, a safe place for kids to record all of their thoughts, feelings and ideas that they may not feel that they had enough time to pay attention to during a given day. They can also be filled with various prompts to encourage them along the way; “My favorite things to do are,” My challenges are,” “Something I want people to know about me but am afraid to tell them is.” My least favorite things to do are,” “Do you ever feel missed up? What happens when you have this feeling?” Where do you feel most comfortable? Do you ever feel uncomfortable going someplace?” “What are some ways that you help yourself when you are angry.” There are oodles of resources for parents and kids. I particularly love the books by Whitney Stewart, including the Mindful Me Activity Book.

I’m including below, the activities and links that I posted back in June with a few new additions, including a podcast on Gratitude😊. Cheers to finding moments of Mindfulness in your days for this bright and shiny new school year!

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/seven_ways_mindfulness_can_help_teachers

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_teaching_mindfulness_to_kids/

https://www.edutopia.org/blog/mindfulness-at-school-outside-classroom-patrick-cook-deegan

https://www.edutopia.org/blog/integrating-mindfulness-in-classroom-curriculum-giselle-shardlow

https://www.edutopia.org/blog/teach-mindfulness-invite-happiness

https://www.edutopia.org/blog/outdoor-mindfulness-exercises-earth-day-patrick-cook-deegan

https://www.edutopia.org/blog/applying-mindfulness-mundane-classroom-tasks-abby-wills

https://www.edutopia.org/blog/shared-mindfulness-building-supportive-relationships-abby-wills

https://player.fm/series/kwik-brain-memory-improvement-accelerated-learning-speed-reading-brain-hacks-productivity-tips-high-performance/47-how-gratitude-rewires-your-brain

https://www.pocketmindfulness.com/6-mindfulness-exercises-you-can-try-today/

A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in Four Pebbles by Thich Nhat Hanh

Peaceful Piggy Meditations by Kerry Lee Maclean

What Does it Mean to Be Present by Rana DiOrio

Silence by Lemniscates

Anh’s Anger by Gail Silver

Mindful Me: Activity Book by Whitney Stewart and pictures by Stacy Peterson

Meditation is an Open Sky by Whitney Stewart and Sally Rippin

Mindful Kids: 50 Activities for Calm, Focus and Peace by Whitney Stewart and Mina Braun