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Table of ContentsIntroduction..........................................................................31. What is Anxiety, Panic Or Depression And Why Do I Suffer from Them?...............................................................52. How to Deal With Anxiety, Panic and Depression Effectively............................................................................103. Dealing With Panic And Physical Symptoms Of Anxiety 134. Dealing With Anxious Thoughts.....................................185. Dealing With Depression................................................206. Developing Confidence And Self-esteem.......................227. Anxiety And Dating.........................................................258. Alcohol And Drugs .........................................................279. Daily Routines And Applying The Techniques................29A Few Final Words..............................................................30Bibliography/Resources......................................................31

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Introduction

Hi, I want to start by thanking you for downloading my ebook. The purpose of thisebook is to share with you some advice and information which has made a massivedifference to the quality of my life and general happiness.

Suffering from anxiety, panic and depression is extremely frustrating, it is like mind,emotions and body are against you. You are determined to overcome your sufferringand become the strong, confident, carefree person you used to be. But you just donot know how. You try and fight it, in a vain attempt to overcome it. But to nosuccess. You are bewildered and confused. So, naturally you doubt whether you canactually ever live a happy, anxiety and panic free life.

I have surely but steadily been dealing with my anxiety and depression for the last 7years. I used to suffer greatly, I had agoraphobia, social anxiety and always feltanxious. I wont go into much detail but I used to get extremely depressed and feltempty inside. Simple things like speaking to people became a great ordeal, and Iwould panic if someone even called to my house.

I no longer have any problems at all with agoraphobia, and my social anxiety is nowvery slight, almost unnoticeable. So much so that I can flirt with girls, even strking upthe conversation myself. I can also initiate conversations with strangers without anyanxiety. I enjoy social situations and getting to meet new people.

I feel at ease with myself. I feel strong inside and have an optimism with which I feellike I can achieve the goals I set for myself in life. Life is an experience which has tobe enjoyed. And I feel very relieved that I can now enjoy the simple things in lifeagain. Before my very existence was a struggle. So, now I can appreciate evenmundane, trivial things such as relaxing at home, as I feel calm and can enjoy thefeeling of relaxation that I have in my body and mind.

The tools I have used to help me get my life back on track have been for the majoritydown to a woman called Dr. Claire Weekes. It is her method that has saved me.There are other things as well which have helped me, such as finding a passion inlife, eating right and generally growing as a person. But the root of all this progress isdown to Weekes method.

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Unfortunately Dr Weekes is no longer with us as she pass away in 1990. She was anAustralian doctor, who suffered from and developed a cure for the anxiety state.

I want to keep this ebook as short as possible and full of as much value and practicaladvice for you, the reader, as I can give. The techniques in this ebook have helpedme greatly, as I can now enjoy the simple things in life again. In order to improveyour present state you will need to continually apply these techniques to yourself.

They are not something you apply once and thats it. They are something you applyto yourself, learn more about, and then apply to yourself again, and repeat. The actof applying these techniques to yourself will also give you understanding. You learnas you practise. So deepening your understanding by re-reading this ebook andpractising by applying are mutually beneficial to each other.

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1. What is Anxiety, Panic Or Depression And Why Do I Suffer fromThem?

Such is the lack of understanding of anxiety, panic and depression that you may beconfused about what it really is and why you have it. We all know that anxiety isfeeling worried, or tense and nervous. That panic is simpy panic or extreme fear andthat depression is feeling deep sadness or emptyinside.

But there is a deeper process at work which expalinsall of them. Your sufferings are both physiological aswell as psychological, and it is this physiological rolewhich is severly misunder-represented in traditionaltreatment. The connection between the mind andbody must be understood in order for you tounderstand your suffering.

The Nervous System

The mind-body connection seems somewhat mystical. But its actually prettystraightforward and has been thoroughly scientifically documented. To understandthis I first need to explain to you how your nervous system works. Ever wonder whywhen you feel anxious you get accompanying physical symptoms?

The symptoms experienced are unique to each individual sufferer, some maybecome light headed, or have shortness of breath, and others may get a churningstomach, jelly legs or a mixture. The list goes on and on. The same physicalsymptoms can happen upon hearing some good news. You get so excited that yourheart palpitates, you feel dizzy and so on. Im sure youve experienced excitmentbefore where you became giddy or your heart started beating fast.

So, what is the mechanism that makes these physical symptoms happen? Theanswer is your involuntary nervous system. Your nervous systems is made up of anetwork of nerves in your body, connected from your brain, which is the control

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centre, to your organs and limbs. So, how does your brain control the involuntarynervous system? Read on and Ill tell you.

The answer is by your emotions, or your mood. Moreover, strong emotions. Anger,frustration, fear, deep sadness, hate, disgust and so on. When you experience suchstrong emotions nervous impulses are sent from your brain to your organs andlimbs. For example you feel afraid, so your heart beats fast, the adrenal glands arestimulated and adrenaline runs through your body making you shake, or your heartto palpitate, or whatever way the nervous energy is expressed for you.

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As you can see in the above image, the nervous system is connected from the brainby nerves which travel all over the body to our organs and muscles. The involuntarynervous system is controlled by our emotions. It starts as an electrical impulse in thebrain, which quickly travels around the nervous system. This explains why you feelanxious, or sometimes get panic attacks. You are simply exciting yourself to bring onthe symptoms you dread so much.

Sensitization

This is all good and well I hear you say but why I am in this anxious state so much,perhaps constantly? This is because of sensitization. Your nervous system is tired. Ithas been recording and processing such strong emotions for a sustained period oftime that it cant cope, and so it becomes fatigued.

So now, even a small anxious thought can be recorded with great severity. You maysee a gas bill thats overdue, or somebody makes a sarcastic comment about you,

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and you feel a strong emotion such as fear or anger and your tired nervous systemover responds to this emotion, and you have an anxiety or panic attack.

Is this starting to make sense? I hope so. Really the process of anxiety is quitesimple. No monster has taken hold of you. You are not possessed! It is simply yournervous system working perfectly, albeit in a tried, fatigued sensitized state. That it isover-recording your emotions. Your emotions and nervous system are a little out ofsync because they are tired. That is all!

Isnt this great news? It was a great revelation to me and I think it must be to youtoo. Because now that we know what is happening we can do something about it!We know how our emotions have oversensitized our body to exaggerate physicalsymptoms. So we dont have to worry about this so much. And this reduction ofworrying means we are giving it less strong emotions to deal with.

Can you now see how a panic attack can happen? We experience fear of something,our nervous system responds accordingly and brings on the symptoms and webecome further alarmed by these strange symptoms. And so the cycle continues. Wefeel fear, adrenaline is released and we feel further fear.

A panic attack is essentially you scaring yourself. You are afraid of the state you arein, you become further alarmed, and your state of panic increases.

Mental And Emotional Fatigue

So thats physical symptoms and panic explained. How about anxious thoughts? Letus go through this. When you are anxious, problematic thoughts are runningthrough your mind. What if this happens? What if that happens? Constant thoughtsof worst case scenarios. So whats the accompanying emotional reaction to thesethoughts? Do you think you are having emotional reactions that your nervoussystem will respond to in a calm manner? Of course not! You are experiencingemotions of fear, frustration, panic, anger and so on. These are strong emotions, andare recorded by your nervous system, putting your body in a state of fight or flight.In a state of alarm.

We have already mentioned how these strong emotions make your nervous systemfatigued. But it also makes you mentally and emotionally tired. We have a limitedreserve of mental and emotional energy. Just the same as you can only concentratefor so long, because you become mentally tried. And it is this mental and emotional

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fatigue combined which gives you these anxious thoughts that seem to not go away.

Can you see how this works? You are mentally tired. You cant control the thoughtsyou are having. You are not consciously thinking your thoughts. Like when you havenot slept much the night before and songs get caught in your head. Its the samewhen you are mentally tired, anxious thoughts stick in your mind. And you arehaving emotional reactions to each of these thoughts. Strong, unpleasant emotionalreactions. When you have a What if this happens?thought for example you thenhave an emotional reaction of fear. You are depleting your reserves of emotionalenergy.

Heres when the depression starts. You no longer have a healthy reserve ofemotional energy. You begin to feel empty inside. Where before you would laugh atsomething, you now feel nothing, no emotions. Its like theres a vacuum in yourhead, and you cant feel normal anymore. This is depression.

Your mind and body are tired. You need to give them a rest. You need to stopfighting against yourself. Stop the internal conflict you have with your thoughts, andstop the tensing against your physicalsymptoms. The fighting is causing youto remain in your physically, mentally,emotionally, and spiritually fatiguedstate.

You need to give your mind and body abreak. It needs to rest from all theconstant work it has been under formonths, maybe years. Stop the fightingand let go! I know the way you feel isunpleasant, it agitates you, it scaresyou. But it is harmless. You need tolearn to live with it. Then you can live without it. This is key!

Doesnt this explain why tranquilizers work? They calm your mind and your body.You start thinking less, you have less emotional reactions, you stop tensing againstyourself. And its the same with meditation. You focus your thoughts and stop havingemotional reactions. Your body and mind are relaxed.

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This is what we need to do. We need to calm our minds and bodies. But we can do itwithout taking medication, and without meditating. I know this may be a big claimto make. But bear with me and hear me out. Ill explain in the next chapter.

2. How to Deal With Anxiety, Panic and Depression Effectively.

So, we have shed some light on the anxious state you are in. We have highlighted theapproach you are taking in dealing with yourself. Fighting against yourself, againstyour thoughts, your emotions, your physical symptoms. Its not working like this,and its not going to work. We need a change of plan. Let me explain.

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How about trying a different approach to anxiety, panic and depression. How aboutinstead of tensing from your physical symptoms, instead of fighting them, instead oftrying to not experience them, we stopped resistence to them and just let themhappen. We know that anxiety, panic and depression are due to fatigue, so althoughyou may find this hard to believe, theres nothing to worry about!

We can live with our anxiety, panic and depression. We can accept it all. Our mindmay race, stomach churn, heart palpitations, and so on. But we can reach the stagewhere it doesnt affect us anymore. Where the storm can rage, and we dont mind.To do this you will need to build your confidence. Right now these sympotms arevery scary to you. Little by little by dealing with it the right way, you can build yourconfidence and the symptoms will lose their hold on you. Then it wont matter ifyour heart palpiates, stomach churns or if you feel dizzy and so on. Because you willknow that it cant affect you.

This sounds scary right now I know. But this will not make your suffering worse. It isnatural to fight, its like your natural instinct to do so. But by fighting you are feedingthe anxiety, panic and depression. You are already scaring yourself as much as youcan and experiencing the worst with it all. So, why not stop caring so much and bewilling to experience it all? After all has the anxiety, panic or depression ever actuallyharmed you before?

When you first do this it may be scary. When I first did this I felt scared, thats forsure. Its like you are going into the unknown and doing something you havent donebefore. I can remember I was sitting in my sitting room, and decided to stop tensingagainst the symptoms, I let my churning stomach be, I let the tension be and I let mymind and body float. I experienced the feelings and symptoms, albeit reluctantly tobegin with.

I let the fear travel all over my body. I could feel the electrical impulses of fear travelthrough me. But that was basically it, just impulses of nervous energy. Is it really sosignificant? Scary to experience sure, but is it really so scary? I faced and stoppedfighting the panic for about an hour, then it got boring and I stopped caring about itso much. Sure I still had the symptoms but their hold on me lessened. The act ofmentally and physically letting go eased the anxiety.

I know that to some of you reading this mentioning facing the symptoms and strangefeelings may appear difficult. For years maybe you have tried to push them away.

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But as you do face and let go of resistence by floating your body and mind, you willbegin to see through it and your confidence will grow. And when this happens youwill feel less scared.

Can you see where this is going? When you feel less scared you experience lessstrong, unpleasant emotions. So your nervous system begins to refresh itself. Hence,confidence or loss of fear of the state you are in is extremely important. And this isbuilt on facing and not fighting against the state you are in. Letting the storm rage,and not being bothered by it. Not dwelling on it. I ll explain more on this later.

Anxiety is a bluff. You feel like you need to fight against it to keep yourself together.But this is the bluff. It is the fighting that maintains it. The fighting ensures you stayin this state. I totally understand this this is more difficult than it sounds. You mayhave been in your anxious, depressed state for months or years. And to you it maybe scary as hell. But you can change that.

Little by little the more you face, and stop fighting the more courage you build. Themore that little voice inside you that says Hey, this aint so bad! grows, the moreyou begin to come out of your state. And start to see things for what they really are.

This is a very personal experience, and it requires courage. But you are stronger thanwhat you think. Anxiety and panic has bluffed you for a long time. Now its time foryou to face it and regain your confidence.

There is nothing to fight, no battle to take part in. Stop fighting, stop agitating, stoptensing, stop running away from these unpleasant emotional and physicalexperiences. To put it more clearly what you need to do is the following, as outlinedby Dr. Weekes in her book Self-Help For Your Nerves;

1. Face your physical and mental, emotional symptoms. Stop running away fromyour state, face it and understand it is nothing more than sensitization of bodyand mind.

2. Stop trying to make them go away by fighting them. Let go and accept them.Stop fighting against it. Stop tensing against yourself. Stop fghting your anxiousthoughts, trying to work your way out of them. Let go and let your body feelheavy. Let go of yourself!

3. Stop adding unpleasant emotions. Float and let go of the mental tension. Stopworrying about the state you are you. You cant work your way out of it. Let itbe. Stop adding strong emotions to your state. Stop trying to work it all out.

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4. Keep doing this until your state improves. Let Mother Nature take care of thehealing process. You need to let the healing happen in its own time! So agreeto yourself that you will live momentarily with how you feel, the strangesensations, the physical symptoms and so on.

If I was to sum up this method it would be stop trying to ignore how you feel, floatand let it be there, live with it, go about your day. Floating is an extremely powerfulthing. It stops and kills the tension and anxiety in its tracks. How can you be tenseand agitated if you are mentally and physically floating, and have decided to livemomentarily with your suffering. The feeling of floating is a warm, relaxing feeling,almost like self medicating with a sedative.

Weekes also called it masterly inactivity. The act of letting go both physically byletting go of the grip you have on your muscles. And also the mental grip you haveon yourself by having a mentally floating feeling. Feel the floating sensations, thefloating vibe. Its tension free and calming. Let it ease your body and mind.

So stop ignoring how you feel, float and live with your suffering momentarily, untilyour nervous system and your mind have healed!

Stop being so eager to come out of your state. It takes time. You need to persevere,you need to keep facing it, not fighting it and not adding mental tension, and leavethe rest to nature for your body and mind to heal themselves. Just like a wound onyour body, it heals at its own time, you cant consciously dictate when it will heal. Itis a natural process. Leave it to nature, and the natural processes that govern yourbody.

You can not directly have the goal of getting rid of your anxiety, panic anddepression. This is done indirectly by learning how to live with your suffering. Byletting your suffering be with you throughout your day or whenever it happens tocome. This is the only way to learn how to deal with it.

Acceptance is the cornerstone to recovery. Dr Claire Weekes

Now lets go over anxiety, panic and depression one by one. In the next chapters Iwill discuss each of them seperately, going into more detail.

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3. Dealing With Panic And Physical Symptoms Of Anxiety

I have already mentioned that our bodys nervous systems, because of the strongemotions of anger, frustration, regret, sorrow etc can become tired or sensitized.And as a result we experience physical symptoms due to our nervous systemsrecording these emotions in an exaggerated way. Where before we would be chilled

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out, now we may be panic stricken from the slightest worry.

Before we could speak to strangers and enjoy the interaction, feeling calm and atease. But now even bumping into an acquaintance on the street is something wemay dread, as we feel like we dont know what to say, or that we may be nervous infront of them and these little worries can be exaggeratedly recorded so we panicand get anxious. Basically we fear having the symptoms or anxious mind in front ofthem.

Normally awkward situations would be something we would laugh about, but nowthey are blown out of proportion. Social anxiety is just one way these symptoms canexpress themselves. They can be associated with many different situations. Thesymptoms or expression of anxiety is the same it is the situation that is different. It isall about dealing with yourself and not the situation you are in.

So it is important for us to focus on ourselves and not where we are or who we arewith. The problem is internal so this is where we must deal with it. This in essence isfacing. Theres a wide range of physical symptoms that you can experience. Here is alist;

Dizziness Churning stomach Difficulty swallowing Dry mouth Fast heartbeat Fatigue Jelly legs Muscle aches Muscle tension Nausea Nervous energy Rapid breathing Shortness of breath Sweating Trembling and twitching

There are many more physical symptoms that you can experience. They can beunique you. The important thing to note is that they are not dangerous. They feel

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scary for sure! But have they ever harmed you? So the feeling scared is the problem.And this is what we must address. We must stop feeling scared and start feelingconfident. And the first step in this is by facing how you feel. You can then learn tolive with your symptoms. To learn how to not let them bother you.

After facing you must stop trying to fight against how you feel. Stop tensing againstyour symptoms in a vain attempt to make them go away. This will never make themgo away. Only giving up the struggle will make them go away. The agitating will makethem persist. But the goal is not to make them go away, because this is resistence.The goal is learning how to live with them. Then when you can do this they will goaway in their own time, as your body and mind has time to heal.

Take a deep breath and on the exhale let your body feel heavy. Let go of youself. Letyourself feel loose. Float and practise living with the anxiety and not letting it get toyou so much. Stop trying to control yourself. I know this may be frightening tocontemplate, you think that by letting go you will fall apart, that you must keep ahold of yourself. But this is the bluff. It is the trying to hold yourself together thatmakes the anxiety persist. Instead, let go! Take it on the chin and continue aboutyour day. Refuse to let it get to you.

So, what happens when you let go? The symptoms may feel the same. You are facingand letting go and still your heart palpitates, you stomach churns etc. And as you arefacing it you are more aware of these sympotms, so now at the start you may havemore emotional reactions to them. You may worry more about them. This is wherethe not adding strong emotions comes in. This is where the power of letting yourmind float comes in.

The strong emotions you feel are what stimulate the symptoms, this along with thetensing makes the anxiety happen. So after letting go of your body you must let gowith your mind. Im not saying you make yourself brain dead. You can still think,albeit not in an anxious way. It is like the state of meditiating, you are aware of whatis happening to your body and how you are experiencing these symptoms but youstop getting involved with them. You stop trying to make sense out of them. You stopgiving them so much attention. You let it be! You float! You put your mind intoneutral, and stop playing a part in the anxiety!

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It is like having a pebble in your shoe but are too late to arrive somewhere to take itout. It hurts you when walk. But you cannot take your shoes off. Every step there isslight pain or discomfort. But it is harmless. You can do two things. You can complainand get angry that you have this slight discomfort. Or you can say Oh well, its just aslight doscomfort, I wont let it get to me! And dismiss it. And continue yourjourney. If you can do this then after a while of not complaining about it the pebbledisappears!

Ok, so now you are facing, have stopped tensing, and have lessened or stoppedfeeling such strong emotions. So now what? Now the symptoms are left to their owndevices. Your body is able to let nature take control. Mother Nature is a lot moreintelligent than you or I will ever be.

Nature controls the processes in our bodies like breathing, the digestive system, thecardiovascular system. And it can also control our bodies nervous system without usinterfering. So, have faith in it. Have total faith in it. It knows what it is doing morethan you can ever know.

Just think about it. Can you control the processes of your body, like the digestiveprocess? Of course not. So in a way, are we not being somewhat arrogant by thinkingthat we can control our panic or anxiety by interfering with it like we do? We mustlet go, Mother Nature will take care of us. Put all your faith in her, she wont let youdown! By doing to she will ease your tired body and mind.

The more you can practise as I have mentioned, then your body will start to refreshitself. This takes time however, and it is important to realize this. Just like a wound onthe body takes time to heal. You must leave nature to heal it. If you were to pick at itthen it would take longer. And its the same with anixety, the more you pick or fightat it the less it can heal.

Growing Your Confidence

Each time that you deal with panic or anxiety the way I have mentioned the moreyour confidence will grow, because you are seeing it for what it really is. A big bluff. Itis important for you to take note of the times when you deal with it the right way.

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For example in social situation where normally you would tense against yourself, ifyou let go and live with it, and leave it to mother nature like I have said then you willsee the situation is not so difficult.

You must take note of such instances, such successes. The more successes you haveand the more you record them, the more reference points you will have of beingable to cope with yourself. This will help reinforce in your memory that you canmanage successfully. Your confidence will then grow and the anxiety will die down.For this reason it is a great help to keep a journal where you can write down yourmoments of success. And then review your success often. This will get you into thehabit of seeing that you can deal with yourself.

Then your confidence will grow. Fears hold on you will die down. And you willbecome the confident person you are meant to be. The highs of life will be higherand the lows much easier to deal with!

4. Dealing With Anxious Thoughts

Anxious thoughts can plague us throughout our days. And of course theaccompanying emotional reactions bring on the physical symptoms. The anxious

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thoughts can be about a situation, a memory, or even the symptoms themselves. Inmost cases the anxious thoughts are in the form of questions. Questions for whichwe dont know the answer. For example, What if I lose my job? Or, What if I makea fool of myself in front of everyone?

These questions fool us into getting involved with the thoughts, because there is noanswer. We can spend eternity debating possible answers to them. And at the sametime our bodies are recording the thoughts we have via the emotional reactions wehave, further sensitizing us.

From the constant thinking you are mentally tired. You dont decide to think thesethoughts anymore they just come because of your tired mind. And because they alsobring such strong emotional reactions you are emotionally tired.

Cant you see what you are doing to yourself? And unknowingly too. You are in thistired, sensitized state and are trying to fight your way out of it, when this is justprolonging your suffering. And the emotional fatigue means your emotions are allover the place, out of sync with how they should be.

Heres a list of just some of the emotional and mental symptoms that mental andemotional fatigue can cause;

Feelings of being spaced out or unreality Feeling guilty, sorrowful, disgraced Feel like youre going crazy Loss of motivation Loss of confidence Weird strange thoughts Depression

The way to deal with anxious thoughts is to let them be there, but not get involvedwith them. To stop debating them, stop trying to figure them out. Follow themethod already outlined, not trying to ignore them, stop fighting against yourself,find a mental place of neutrality where you are not getting involved and let time andMother Nature take care of the rest. Following these steps will help you deal withyourself much more successfully! Learn to experience the thoughts but not believein them. Like the physical symptoms learn to live with them and you will get to livewithout them. Not letting them bother you is the key!

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5. Dealing With Depression

Depression, the feeling empty, or sad inside is a very unpleasant way to be. Youremember that you used to be happy, but now you feel down. Its certainly an

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unpleasant state to be in. By now Im hoping that you can see that depression is aresult of emotional fatigue.

What do you expect to happen when you are constantly having strong emotionalreactions? Doesnt it make sense that all these strong emotions you areexperiencing will have some effect? But dont worry I am not saying it is your fault.You are simply the victim of a lack of understanding.

By dealing with your anxious thoughts, and any physical symptoms in the way I haveexplained Mother Nature will heal you and your depression will lift. Rememberdealing wtih your emotions is the key. Mentally let go, stop trying to figureeverything out in your mind. Its a bluff, theres nothing to try and figure out. Floatyour entire body and mind! Let go!

Natural Distractions

A good way of facilitating this is to become absorbed in something, an activity,watching a film, or doing some exercise. Do something that will give your mind somerespite, so it can restore its energies. I am not saying to you that you have toanxiously look for something to occupy yourself. Simply think of something youwould enjoy doing and patiently do it. The thoughts, symptoms and depression maystill be there, but dont dwell on them, carry on doing your activity. Live with howyou feel, and you will heal.

You will see that you will have moments when you will start to experience goodfeelings again. This will give you hope. Write it down in your journal along with yourother successes. Cant you now see how great you are doing!

Learn To Control Your Emotions

Our emotions also have a big effect on our abilities to succeed in goals in general.The stronger you feel inside, and the better mood you are in, the easier you will beable handle anything life throws at you.

One technique which is especially effective in easing and even banishing negativeemotions is the emotional freedom technique. EFT, as it is known in short is basedon the idea that we can release negative energy by tapping certain chakra points onthe body while focusing on the emotion. It is a short process and each time the

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emotions gets weaker and weaker, until it finally goes. If you experience the emotionlater you can repeat the technique again. And each time it will go to return weakerand weaker until it is gone altogether.

I think that using such things as EFT can compliment Weekes method, and can helpyou a lot. For example to use the EFT you have to say, Despite this (put strongemotion, ie anger, sadness) that I feel, I deeply and completely love and acceptmyself. To adapt this for anxiety you can say, Despite this unpleasant feeling,annoyance, hatred (and so on) that I feel towards my anxiety I deeply andcompletely love and accept myself. Doing this will help you learn to stop fightinghow you feel.

However, dont use this as a crutch. Remember there is nothing wrong with how youfeel. So you need to learn to live with it. However in moments when it is particularlydifficult to do so I recommend EFT.

To learn more about the emotional freedom technique please go to;

http://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Emotional-Freedom-Technique-%28EFT%29

6. Developing Confidence And Self-esteem.

We all want to be strong and confident, but as an anxiety sufferer, at times we canfeel anything but. Anxiety and loss of confidence can really hold us back from

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http://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Emotional-Freedom-Technique-(EFT)

achieving our potential. And our self-esteem can be very low. We may feelworthless. Building confidence and a strong sense of self-worth is thus vital.

Keeping A Journal

One way of doing this is by keeping a journal, which I have already mentioned. Atthe end of the day write down how you felt, but also what you managed to dodespite how you felt. Also write down anything esle worthwhile that you haveachieved during the day. If you suffer from depression you could mention that youfelt relatively low while at work but didnt let it get to you and continued on withyour tasks. Or if you have social anxiety, you could write that you spoke to a strangerdespite feeling nervous.

Try and write as much detail as possible. This will help you remember it better whenyou later read over your journal in the future. Reading over your journal will makeyou remember the times where you experienced anxiety, panic or depression yetyou managed to come through the situation successfully. This consolidates yourbelief that you can deal with yourself despite how you may feel. And youll startseeing yourself as, as well as actually becoming, a strong and confident person!

List Good Things About You

Write down good things about yourself on a page and go over it every day. Negativethinking is a habit. Doing this will reinforce positive thoughts in your mind.Whenever you start to think negative thoughts straight away think of your positveattributes. Learn how to flip negative thoughts into positive ones. For example, Ihate having anxiety it sucks into I am learning to deal with my anxiety and will be astronger person because of it!

Body Posture

Also body posture, such as standing up straight and smiling can have a positive effectas they release feel good chemicals in the brain. This can make you feel moreconfident and powerful. Make a powerful pose for two minutes and see how youfeel. For more see Anne Cuddys TED talk; http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are

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http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are

Another excellent way to feel good is by trying neuro-linguistic programmingtechniques. NLP as it is called is a psychology for the layman. It teaches you how tochange your state of mind using various techniques. Here is a simple exercise toimprove your mood and make you feel good.

1. Think of a time when you felt great. Maybe you had just won something,passed an exam, or been given praise by someone. If nothing springs to mindjust think of how you would feel if you felt great.

2. Focus on the sensations in your body that thinking about this gives you.Where in your body are the feelings? Does the feeling have a direction or acolour?

3. Make the sensations, colour, and movements faster. Make the feelings getmore and more intense and even radiate from your body. Your whole bodynow is feeling this sensation of feeling great.

4. Now as the feelings get really intense squeeze your thumb and forefingertogether for a few seconds. The act of doing so means your brain willassociate this action with how you are feeling. This is known as an anchor.

5. To break your state count backwards from 100 to 90.6. Repeat the exercises a few times to make your anchor stronger.7. Then you can test your anchor out when you are in situations where you want

to feel a little more confident. Simply put your thumb and forefinger togetherand the confident feelings will come back.

As well as speaking to yourself positively you can use visualizations. See yourselfhaving achieved whatever you want to do or be. Start seeing different areas of yourlife as you would ideally like them to be. As well as making you think in a morepositive way, doing this will also increase your motivation to get out there and startmaking things happen.

One thing about visualizations though. You can visualize for hours and hours, butthere is no substitute for actually doing. By actually doing what you want to do, youprove to your brain that you can do it. And this is the most powerful thing. So, usevisualizations together with actually attempting what you want to do!

So the next time you are feeling a little demotivated, or tired then try thesetechniques out and see how your mood can improve.

Please work on your self-esteem and confidence daily. Spend even ten minutes

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doing some of the things I have mentioned and get ito the habit of feeling goodabout yourself. I cant emphasize enough how important this is. And the knock-oneffect it will have in all areas of your life will be great.

7. Anxiety And Dating

Confidence is very attractive. When someone has a vibe of self-assurance aboutthem we feel drawn to them. But as a sufferer of anxiety you may be very low onconfidence. So, as an anxiety sufferer, particularly of social anxiety you canunderstand why you may be underachieving with the opposite sex. Add this tofeeling depressed and the fatigued, demotivated state you are in and youre lucky if

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you have any libido left.

Whats important for dating isnt just being confident but feeling good aboutyourself. The two are closely related. When it comes to dating you are the value yougive yourself. If you believe that you are worthy of a member of the opposite sex thiswill come across as you communicate to them. In your tone of voice, body languageand facial expressions as you speak to them. I strongly believe that for men successwith women is for the most part down to your confidence levels and self-esteem.

I have already discussed techniques for building your confidence and self-esteem,these will help you greatly when improving your dating. The responsibility ofinitiating a conversation with the opposite sex is more or less with the guy. We aremen and are expected to behave so. Once you feel strong inside and learn how tolive with your anxiety then things like this become a whole lot easier!

Men and Dating

The techniques of dealing with anxiety that I have mentioned will lower youranxiety. But lets go throught a typical situation where you see a girl you like andwant to talk to her. You begin to feel nervous. So remember you have to deal withyourself not the situation. Stop scaring yourself. Take a deep breath, face how youfeel. Float and let go of your body, your arms, shoulders, stomach etc. Dont tense,put your mind into neutral. Apply the NLP technique I have mentioned.

Dont expect the anxiety to go. Remember it is about dealing with yourself despitehaving the anxiety. But now you can manage it more effectively. Now you are dealingwith yourself. Float and let go of yourself and put your faith in Mother Nature, thatshe will look after your symptoms and anxious thoughts. Float your entire bodywhile in the conversation. This will lower and help kill the tension. So rememberalways float, in body and in mind! And learn to live with your unpleasant feelingsand sensations. By doing so your confidence will grow. Trust me its worth it!

As your anxiety and depression improve you will feel more attractive to the oppositesex. And as your libido will also improve you will feel more attracted to them. Alsoyour confidence will improve as you will be more chilled out in general. You willbecome more motivated, and will take better care of yourself. So overall you willbecome more attractive to the opposite sex.

You will become at ease with being yourself, and will enjoy interacting with those

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you are attracted to. You will be free from worrying about your anxiety, panic and ordepression. Life in general will become a whole lot easier. And when you can learn tolive with it, when you break the cycle, your body refreshes itself and you will feeleven better.

But to get to this great, satisfying stage you must put the work in. Face, float, lettime pass. Live with the unpleasant feelings, the strange sensations, live with it all.Keep your journal, and review it. Work on your confidence and self-esteem. If youcommit yourself to this than you can reap the rewards!

8. Alcohol And Drugs

When suffering from anxiety, panic or depression we are truly suffering, so itsnatural that we would want to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. They seem tohelp us deal with it easier, give us confidence or even just a break from our suffering.Whetever benefit you may seem to get however is just temporary, and will make

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your suffering worse.

We must learn to face and deal with our problems head on. Remember we have tolearn to live with our suffering. We dont need crutches. We have to realize thatthere is really nothing to get relief from, except for the stress we add on top ofeverything. We need to stop stressing out about stressing out. And live with oursuffering. Then you will become so strong inside that you truly will not need anycrutches.

I know that before I would look forward to going home in the evenings to have a fewbeers. Or would get drunk at a social situation to reduce the anxiety. But you have toremember that alcohol is a drug. And it further fatigues our nervous systems, so theanxiety and panic will get worse. You need your nervous system to regain itsenergy. And if your constantly draining it by being hungover you are inhibiting thenatural healing process.

It is also a depressant. What we want to do is improve our mood, not make it worse.And the hammering you give your body by consuming alcohol further fatigues yournervous system. Look at how tired your body and mind are the next day., so you canimagine how tired your nervous sytem is. Your symptoms, physical, mental andemotional will be exacerbated. So, it is best to either limit it, or cut it out altogether.

One thing that will help you drink less is by drinking more water whenever you aredrinking alcohol. One of the main reasons why people drink so much is becausealcohol dehydrates you and we are fooled into thinking it quenches our thirst. Whenreally it does the opposite.

Drugs such as marijuana and hard drugs have the same affect. We use them toescape our troubles. But they take away our motivation, and willpower. We need tobe strong inside, not just to deal with with lifes challenges, but to achieve our goalsand aspirations as well.

Let me assure you, the only drug you need is lto earn how to stop being bothered byhow you feel, to face and float. Float your shoulders, arms, stomach... your entirebody, float your mind. Let your body heal. Peace of body and mind is the best drugyou will ever have. And when you are confident and have the self-esteem you trulydeserve social functions will be so much better. And you wont even feel the needfor alcohol, or anything else. Life itself will be the party!

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9. Daily Routines And Applying The Techniques

Theres a lot of information which I have contained in this little ebook. So, how dowe put it all together. I have already suggested you keep a journal, to write downyour successes and moments where practising the different techniques brought

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improvements.

But I also recommend you make a file, it can be a digital one on your computer, orphysical like the one you may use for work or study and use to file documents andpapers. In it you can write different self-help techniques, like the one I mentionedfor NLP, improving your self-esteem or EFT. Practising the method of not ignoring,not fighting against the symptoms, floating and letting mother nature heal you issomething that you will continously have to apply and continue relearning foryourself to manage your anxiety effectively.

I know it sounds like a lot of work but you will only get out of all this what you put in.So you must start making good, positive habits in your life. And I believe the basis forall good habits begins with how you manage yourself.

A Few Final Words

Thank you for reading until the end of my ebook. I hope it has been beneficial foryou. My journey to dealing with my anxiety, panic and depression started sevenyears ago, and I am still on that journey. I no longer suffer from agoraphobia, panic

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attacks or social anxiety. I do sometimes get tense but I know what it is and I knowhow to deal with it.

I believe it was Tony Robbins who said that success is 80% physchological and 20%the mechanics! And I think its very true. The stronger we are inside the better ourmorale is, the better equipped we can deal with any challenges, and maintain ourenthusiasm to achieve our goals, and make life truly worth living.

I wish you the best!

JJ

P.S. I would really love to hear from you. So drop me a line and tell me about yourstory! My email is jjmanotomano@gmail.com !

Bibliography/ResourcesImage 1: anxious man from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/anxiety/2012/05/are-anxiety-and-ocd-the-same-thing/

Image 2: nervous system from http://www.infovisual.info/03/038_en.html

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http://www.infovisual.info/03/038_en.htmlhttp://blogs.psychcentral.com/anxiety/2012/05/are-anxiety-and-ocd-the-same-thing/http://blogs.psychcentral.com/anxiety/2012/05/are-anxiety-and-ocd-the-same-thing/mailto:jjmanotomano@gmail.com

Image 3: depression from http://embracingdepression.org/symptoms-of-depression/

Dr. Claire Weekes, Self Help For Your Nerves

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http://embracingdepression.org/symptoms-of-depression/32Introduction1. What is Anxiety, Panic Or Depression And Why Do I Suffer from Them?2. How to Deal With Anxiety, Panic and Depression Effectively.3. Dealing With Panic And Physical Symptoms Of Anxiety4. Dealing With Anxious Thoughts5. Dealing With Depression6. Developing Confidence And Self-esteem.7. Anxiety And Dating8. Alcohol And Drugs9. Daily Routines And Applying The TechniquesA Few Final WordsBibliography/Resources