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Might We Have Arrived?
An Ordination Paper and Processi
MaryBeth Harman
1473 Sargent Ave
Saint Paul, MN 55105
Member-in-Discernment
Olivet Congregational Church
1850 Iglehart Ave
Saint Paul, MN 55104
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Contents I. Introduction .................................................................................... 2
I. Theological Perspective and Grasp of the Historic Christian Faithii ................... 3
II. History, Theological Roots, Polity and Practice of the UCC .......................... 4
III. Faith Pilgrimage and Understanding of the Ministry .................................. 6
A. Faith Pilgrimage ......................................................................... 6
B. Understanding of the Ministry (and my Call) ....................................... 11
IV. How Power and Boundaries are at Work in Ordained Ministry ...................... 16
V. Conclusion .................................................................................. 19
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I. Introduction
While the United Church of Christ (UCC), the UCC Manual on Ministry (MOM), and the
working documentation provides a few options for how to structure an ordination paper, I
opted for a hybrid between the MOM Portfolio (which includes a “Spiritual Autobiography”
concluding with a personal statement of faith, “Understanding Your Call to Authorized
Ministry,” and “Reflection and Demonstration of the Mark”) and the “Ordination Paper” as
outlined in the “Tracking Sheet for Ordination Process Requirements: Minnesota Conference
United Church of Christ” (which requests four sections: a) the candidate’s perspective and
grasp of the historic Christian faith, b) an expressed understanding of the history, theological
roots, polity, and practice of the United Church of Christ, c) a description of the candidate’s
faith pilgrimage and understanding of ministry, and d) a short section on how power and
boundaries are at work in ordained ministry).
To that end, you will find the following sections: I. “Theological Perspective and Grasp
of the Historic Christian Faith” which is written in the form of my personal statement of faith;
II. “History, Theological Roots, Polity, and Practice of the United Church of Christ” in which I
address the theological traditions that combined to form the UCC and how covenant does,
does not, and can be engaged within the UCC in each of her settings; III. “Faith Pilgrimage
and Understanding of the Ministry” in which I address the route by which I came to be
applying for ordination, how I see the church in the world today, and how I imagine the
church living in the world in the future; and IV. “How Power and Boundaries are at Work in
Ordained Ministry.” This section addresses boundaries for both those who engage in
professional ministry and those to whom professional ministry is extended. I address the need
for clarity and transparency in communicating boundaries, discuss the challenges in
negotiating boundaries in complex relationships, my methods and plans to addressing
boundary violations, and the means by and manner in which I engage in self-supervision and
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seek outside supervision to ensure I maintain healthy and appropriate boundaries in my life
and ministry.
I. Theological Perspective and Grasp of the Historic Christian Faithii I believe in God, as Ultimate Reality: in which all things cohere; in which creation finds its
grounding, breath, and movement; in which we, as the people of God, participate as
cocreators of reality.
I believe in Jesus, as the Christ: the embodiment of Ultimate Reality in human form; and
made “perfect through sufferings;”(Hebrews 2:10) that is Christ was made wholly and
completely human in the person of Jesus through his ministry, death, and resurrection, on
which our hope of resurrection is founded.
I believe in Jesus, as human: the prototype (Martin) for transgressing social norms in the
creation of an alternate narrative of Ultimate Reality lived out in the physical world.
I believe in the Holy Spirit: who imbues us with wisdom; functions as the Covenant which calls
us together and holds us in community; from whom we receive our collective breath; who
frees us from the fear of death by moving us in our work to upend, overthrow, and undo the
sin of corporate and systemic oppression and injustice; and with whom redemption and
salvation are found in the journey to liberation through the act of co-creation through
narrative.iii
I believe in scripture: as sacred story; as the record of alternate narrative creation; as the
history of peoples’ efforts to understand and engage Ultimate Reality through history; and as
the co-creative vision of community throughout Christian history and the scaffolding by which
we co-create community today.
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II. History, Theological Roots, Polity and Practice of the UCC
“That they may all be one” (John 17:21): the UCC motto. It presents both a hoped for
reality and stands in contrast to the work yet to be done. I have loved the United Church of
Christ my whole life. Having grown up in an historically congregational church which was
among the first wave of congregations to join together in the formation of the UCC in 1957,
when the Christian Congregational churches merged with the Evangelical and Reformed (E&R)
churches, I carry a particularly fierce appreciation for the autonomy given to local church
bodies. That in the nine hundred three years prior to the creation of the United Church of
Christ had seen progressive divisions on lines of leadership, theology, and sacramental
ministry,iv the desire to create a non-doctrinal, covenanted association of churches is both
hopeful and refreshing.v
By happenstance or providential design, I have never attended a UCC with a history
rooted in the E&R tradition. The one time I came close was upon moving to St. Paul, MN.
Having had our offer accepted for the house that would become our home, I immediately
searched for a local church within walking distance of my house. I had two stipulations: it had
to be UCC; it had to be open and affirming. Two churches within walking distance returned in
the search results matching these criteria – St. Paul’s UCC and Olivet Congregational UCC. My
honest preference was St. Paul’s as it was slightly closer to my home; but after driving past
it, I was uncomfortable with the façade and felt much more “at home” with the structure of
Olivet, where I’ve attended and been a member since.vi And thus, I continue to find myself in
a church with Congregational rather than E&R roots because of architecture.
What especially speaks to me regarding the UCC’s history and polity is that it truly
seeks to live out “unitatem in necessariis, in non neessariis libertatem, in omnibus
caritatem;” “in essentials unity, in non-essentials freedom, in all things charity.” As a
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nondoctrinal denomination, whose members are connected in covenantal relationship, this
unity, freedom, and charity can be liberally applied – particularly in the context of a
constitution with only one faith confession – that Jesus Christ, Son of God and Savior, is the
sole Head of the churchvii and all who share this confession are siblings in Christ (United
Church of Christ).viii
In practice, I have seen a church that operates much more independently and much
less in covenant at the local church level than the beautiful vision of unity set before us in
the Constitution. While this is particularly disheartening at times, it means that the local
church body is ripe for transformation, individually and corporately, should its members wish
to explore covenant with one another, with other local church bodies, with the Association,
Conference, and General Synod.ix As one whose theological praxis is deeply rooted in
covenant, I delight in participating at all levels of governance within the UCC – serving on the
Council of my local church,x getting to know members from other local churches, attending
the Annual Meeting of the Iowa Conference in prior years, and attending General Synod (in
2007 and 2019).xi Further, I am hoping to attend the Annual Meeting of the Minnesota
Conference in 2020, as the timing works with my academic conference travel itinerary for the
first time since becoming a member in a Minnesota church.
My hopes going forward include fostering covenantal communities of faith who seek to
follow the example of Jesus in loving God through loving people and caring for the whole of
creation. I anticipate doing this through modeling true community (Peck) through appropriate
vulnerability and creating containers that hold safe space in which individuals can, in
partnership with the divine, transform their experiences and heal their wounds.
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III. Faith Pilgrimage and Understanding of the Ministry
A. Faith Pilgrimage
I grew up attending a small, rural, conservative United Church of Christ in the middle
of nowhere, Iowa. Though I loved my church while growing up within its holy spaces, and still
love the church today, I have always had an incongruent relationship with it. This church was
the place where I first fell in love – at the age of five, during Sunday school, just after
Christmas. The Sunday school teacher read the scripture “and on the eighth day, Jesus was
circumcised…” and I piped up to ask, “What does circumcised mean?” Visibly uncomfortable
and stumbling over her efforts to explain, her six year old son jumped to the rescue. “It’s
when they cut off the foreskin of the penis.” And just like that, I was smitten. Having no idea
what a foreskin was or why anyone would cut anything off of a baby’s penis, I knew that this
boy was brilliant, because he had knowledge I didn’t, and I was in love with him until college.
Within the confines of this same building and community of Christians, I grew up
participating more in the life of the church – singing in the choir, continuing to attend church
even after I was confirmed, skipping Sunday school so I could hide behind the horseshoe
counter in the kitchen and listen to the adults talk about the business of the church (it
seemed more relevant than building a shoe box Garden of Eden). But I also remember never
feeling quite at home in this church and frequently having nightmares about a witch who lived
in the choir room closet and who trapped me in this horrific place of terror until the clock
struck noon and I was able to trap her back into the closet with two brooms crossed to create
an “X,” and break free. Something wasn’t right and my lived experience did not match what I
was being taught.
The first time I ever ventured away from my childhood church was in college. Moving
to the “big, liberal” college campus of the University of Iowa (U of I), in the “big, liberal”
town of Iowa City, having grown up on the stories of the sin and depravity of the UCC at the
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national level, I looked to my pastor for guidance as to how to stay the faith. Thus, I found
myself fully immersed in the ministry of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IVCF). This was
before their paper addressing their formal stance regarding human sexuality was published,
but the theology has not changed.
What I found in IVCF was my first understandings of community. It was a community,
however, that was based in acceptance (i.e. connection conditional upon conforming to the
norms of the group) rather than belonging (i.e. unconditional connection without efforts to fix
or convert differences of opinion or belief) which required that I truncate parts of my Self in
order to fit into and be accepted by that community. It was not until much later that I came
to realize that this was largely an expression of M. Scott Peck’s “Pseudo Community.”
Anytime things moved into chaos, the leadership brought everyone back into line, returning
us to pseudo community. Despite this, IVCF had and continues to maintain a phenomenal
track record in teaching biblical literacy, and I continue to use the skills I learned in IVCF
inductive bible studies to this day.xii
Finding the U of I to be a poor fit, I later transferred to the University of Northern
Iowa (UNI), remaining in IVCF and growing into a student leader. Through this I discovered
gifts and skills for group facilitation and inductive study, but I was uncomfortable in the role
of “leader” and did not wish to own the label. This also led to an opportunity to participate in
a summer immersive mission trip to inner city St. Louis, MO.xiii This raised my awareness
around issues of race and class disparity, the manner in which funding public schools with
property taxes disadvantages communities of color, and the role the church can have in a
grassroots fashion to confront injustice and oppression. It was a profound and life changing
experience and planted seeds of passion for social justice.xiv
Throughout much of college, I continued to attend my childhood church. During my
final year, however, I began attending a Vineyard Christian Fellowship (VCF) church with
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members of my IVCF cohort. At the same time, I decided to pursue Religious Studies as a
vocation and set off to pursue a Master’s degree at Union Theological Seminary in the city of
New York (UTS).
While studying at UTS, I continued to be involved with IVCF at Columbia University and
attending a VCF church. This was particularly challenging as the process of unpacking
theology in seminary did not cohere with the neat and tightly structured package of faith
presented in the Evangelical communities of which I was a part. Seminary also brought to my
awareness Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) and once I decided to pursue an MDIV instead of
an MA, I began a unit of CPE. This COMPLETELY dismantled my faith and in the context of a
number of traumas in short order, I took a two-year leave of absence from seminary, finding
solace in the rigid certainty of Evangelical theology while also feeling constantly abraded by
their stance on human sexuality.
Ultimately, I returned to UTS to finish my MDiv, because I’m structured to finish the
things I begin. During this time, I attended a predominantly African American Evangelical
Lutheran Churchxv congregation in Harlem because I needed something different. In the final
year of seminary, I came to understand that my theological identity is firmly rooted in the
UCC, that I am called to ministry, and that I have gifts which will serve the church. I
graduated at the height of the most recent recession, however, and had neither the means
nor the skills to find a ministry job.
For the next several years, I worked at the only job I could find – as a Subject Matter
Expert for Andersen Windows and Patio Doors® – and serving various churches as an unpaid
associate minister; all within the state of Iowa. When I had saved sufficient funds to survive a
summer without income, I tried to complete a unit of CPE. In the process, I got crystal clear
about the continued presence of the trauma I carried and left the program after four weeks.
At the same time, I found genuine community and affirmation of my call to ministry within
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the congregation of Church of the Savior UCC in Knoxville, TN. Yet, I had no clear way
forward.
After the summer came to an end, I returned to Iowa, resumed my job with Andersen
Windows, and met my spouse, whose constancy, care, support, and frank unwillingness to
“get up every day and watch [me] waste [my] potential” allowed me to make real progress in
my healing journey, in my vocational journey, and in my creation of a coherent personal
theology and spiritual life. With his unflagging encouragement, I finished my first unit of CPE;
was recruited to and completed a residency program; applied, was accepted, and completed
a second residency; and found a place of doing ministry in the Twin Cities – both with Olivet
UCC and Abbott Northwestern Hospital (ANW). In both of these places, I have found true
community where belonging rather than acceptance is experienced and where peoples’ whole
selves (the messy broken parts, too) are welcomed and affirmed.
The last four and a half years of CPE and ministry have brought me face-to-face with
my “stuff” and in parallel with my marriage provided rich and fertile ground in which to heal
my wounds through radical acceptance, creation of new narratives, and integration of not
only skills and abilities but also of my story and sense of Self.xvixvii
Olivet has also provided moments that brought clarity to my spiritual development and
theological stance. From discussions of Communion elements and practice, through the death
of a beloved friend, to the 2020 Annual Church Meeting, to my current service on Church
Council, I have gotten clear about the difference between rituals and sacraments (including
going so far as to make a motion to suspend Communion at Olivet until reconciliation had
been undertaken in accordance with my understanding Exodus 20:7 and Matthew 12:31),xviii
belonging and acceptance, death and resurrection, covenantal theology, holding space /
creating a container for people’s woundedness.xix
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This hasn’t always been pleasant, as we have wrestled with staff conflicts, necessary
building upgrades, drainage issues in the lawn, major budget crises, and the presence of
registered sex offender in our congregation. In all of these dynamics, I have worked
collaboratively to resolve issues, find new ways of moving forward, and ensuring that our
church is a safe place for all – including sex offenders.xx This was particularly significant work
as I recognized that my church experience is not complete if we cannot make space for all
people. My theology is such that my church experience is not complete without room for
everyone at the Table – not in spite of their history, but precisely because of it.xxi In the midst
of these challenges, I have experienced myself to be powerful, competent, compassionate,
empathic, and most importantly safe.xxiixxiii
Recent changes at Olivet Congregational Church have been especially challenging.
Much of the membership, and especially those who are younger, have left the church and
withdrawn their membership. This includes the entirety of the 2019 Church Council with
whom I served. I am the only one who remains. When asked by those who chose to remain at
Olivet and those who have chosen to leave Olivet why it is that I have remained, I can only
explain it in terms of my theology. I made a covenant when I joined Olivet. I made another
covenant when I accepted a position on the Church Council. Simply because some within the
congregation violated their part of the covenant does not release me from my own. I made a
sacred commitment and unless or until holding to that commitment becomes a risk to my
health and well-being, I will remain.xxiv
I have come to recognize that my spiritual journey will always be one of liberation –
for I love and serve a God who leads us out of slavery to oppressive systems of injustice and
into the promised land of freedom; and I recognize the inexplicable truth of our inextricable
freedom. It is a journey, however, that is experienced through process – for I am a co-creator
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with God and the journey to our collective liberation is one that must be lived every single
day.xxv
B. Understanding of the Ministry (and my Call)
I first experienced a “call” to ministry during my later elementary years. I was at
church camp for one week during the summer between sixth and seventh grades. I remember
feeling particularly safe with one of the counselors who was rather grandfatherly in his
engagement. He loved the church and wanted to nurture the faith of younger generations.
Nights after the final camp activities had finished and we had free time, he could be found
sitting at the bonfire, smoking a pipe packed with vanilla scented tobacco, thinking about
who knows what. I felt a tug in my heart and heard a small voice whisper in my ear: this
(ministry) is a thing I can’t not do.
I continued to feel that pull all through high school. Youth ministers who served high
school students, however, were cool and put together and had everything figured out. I was
uncertain of my suitability – I didn’t fit any model of a minister that I had ever seen and I
perceived the dysfunction of my family of origin and my personal history of trauma as
stumbling blocks to loving and serving God through loving and serving people.
Wanting to remain close to my sense of call and with a drive to outgrow my history, I
planned to pursue a PhD in Religious Studies. I found excitement and energy in creation
stories; I craved more engagement in creating new things. College, however, was a difficult
transition and knowing that I would not likely be a candidate for a PhD program directly after
attaining my BA, I attended UTS with the intention of using the MA program as a springboard
for a PhD.
Seminary did not go exactly as planned. During the first semester of my second year,
Reunion Days arrived. I met several former students returning for their 5th, 10th, and 15th year
reunions. Every person I met and spoke with – whether for 30 seconds or 30 minutes – asked,
12
“Why are you in the MA program; it’s clear you should be pursuing an MDiv.” Every time the
question was asked, my ears would burn and I would respond, “God’s not calling me to the
MDiv program.”
Two weeks later, my Gospel of John class was workshopping papers. One of my
colleagues, an international student from Kenya, spoke to me during our break. “I remember,
when we introduced ourselves at the start of the semester, you said you are in the MA
program. I do not understand. It’s so clear that you have the heart of a pastor. Why are you
not in the MDiv program?” Once again, my ears began to burn and I answered him, “God isn’t
calling me to the MDiv program.” He looked me square in the eye and responded, “Perhaps
you aren’t listening.”xxvi
From that moment on, my ears continued to burn – as though they were on fire – and
nothing I did could relieve the pain: not cold compresses, not sticking my head out an open
window in the early days of a cold, gray November, not ice packs, nor prayers, nor curses.
Three days later I walked into the registrar’s office and asked for a “Change of Degree
Program” form. In answer to the question, “Why are you seeking to change degree programs?”
I wrote, “God said so.” I dropped the form in the registrar’s “Incoming Mail” box and my ears
stopped burning.
A year later, starting my final year of the MDiv program, I began my first attempt at
CPE. Once again, I felt that tug in my heart and heard that small voice whisper in my ear: this
is the thing I can’t not do. I knew I wanted to become a CPE supervisor one day. That has not
happened. It may never happen. It continues to be a hope, held close to my heart.
Life does not always work out the way we hope or plan, however, and opportunities
for training to become an Association for Clinical Pastoral Education Certified Educator are
few and far between in the Twin Cities – where I am currently tied in relationship to my
spouse’s work. I fell in love with chaplaincy and began working as a chaplain (0.8FTE) in an
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assisted living facility (ALF) in the wider metro area. Though I loved doing ministry with this
spiritually and theologically diverse community,xxvii institutionally it was a profoundly poor fit
for a number of reasons.xxviii I was saddened to leave the many wonderful relationships I had
established there, but was cognizant of the community’s need to connect and bond with the
person who would come to fill the role after me.xxix I was grateful to have been asked to
remain at Abbott Northwestern Hospital (0.2FTE) to do program coordination for the Allina
Health CPE program.xxx
At the same time, I continued to expand my ministry functions in the local church –
always saying yes to the request for pulpit supply,xxxi serving on Task Forces as requested,xxxii
responding with a yes to serve on Church Council, seeking out opportunities to facilitate Our
Whole Lives (OWL) in a partnership between Olivet Congregation UCC and Macalester
Plymouth United Church. I am now certified to facilitate all OWL levels – Kindergarten to
Older Adults.xxxiii xxxiv
After leaving my chaplaincy position with the ALF, I was able to expand my hours in
administration with ANW. Six months later, my role became fulltime serving both CPE and the
ANW Clinical Ethics & Values Program as program coordinator. This has been messy and hard
and challenging and richly rewarding and exciting. I delight in the daily interactions with
students of all ages who constantly surprise and challenge me in the breadth and depth of our
theological differences and in the areas where we align despite radically different
faith/spiritual traditions.
This became a particularly salient learning point for me as I interacted with one of our
Muslim CPE students. Through respectful and open dialogue, I came to recognize the ways in
which I had conflated the theological stance of Christians who are much more conservative
than I am with the behavior of other Christians who are much more conservative than I am. I
came to recognize that my previously unconscious bias against the theology was actually
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rooted in a history of experiencing spiritual abuse from those who believed similar things –
and I had been scapegoating their theology rather than addressing their behavior towards me!
Becoming conscious of this dynamic allowed me to take steps to appreciate theologies that
are different from my own while still embracing people who hold to those theologies and it
freed me to address the actual issue of boundary violations as they arise.xxxv
This administrative and patient work with both CPE and Ethics is a ministry in itself
and I’m very gifted at the ministry I do – though many of my skills are currently underutilized.
I would love to have more opportunities to engage in direct patient care, teaching, leading
worship, and visioning for and building the CPE program (work I am able to do with Ethics). At
the same time, there is so much to be done from the administrative side of things, that I
clearly recognize how my organizational skills, visioning, intellectual gifts, dialectical
thinking, and capacity to engage in “menial” tasks frees up and empowers others to engage in
much more direct and readily identified “ministry.”
What patient and staff care I do perform in the context of Clinical Ethics is a unique
opportunity for the church to expand its understanding of ministry. Rather than being
grounded in philosophical questions, my engagement in ethics is grounded in an understanding
of the divine and of creation. Whereas physicians care for a patient’s physical body, and a
specialist cares for a part of a person’s body, and nurses do the work of maintaining a
patient’s physical body, and a chaplain cares for a person’s spirit, an ethicist cares for the
people in the context – discerning and giving space to name the values held by each person in
conflict and offering ways forward that are ethical and just. Much the way that ministry is a
process by which we discern the call of God and can be confident in our decisions going
forward even if they aren’t the choice we would make for our own comfort or preference, so
Ethics is a process by which we discern the possible ways forward and present grounding for
15
why choices that do not fit one person’s or even many person’s comfort and preference are
still acceptable, good, just, and ethical.
A relatively new academic discipline, biomedical ethics as it is currently understood
largely grew out of the felt need of nurses to ask questions about whether or not specific
treatment plans were holistically good for patients or potentially causing additional and
unnecessary suffering. This was during the 1960s and ‘70s, when medicine was predominantly
paternalistic and doctors’ orders were expected to be followed. While it is true that this
hasn’t changed much in some areas, it is also the case that in Western society, much of
medical ethics historically has been grounded Catholic theology. I see a significant need to
expand the theological field contributing to these dialogues and believe it is an act of
preaching and teaching the Word to engage. Likewise, the capacity to hold multiple and
conflict views and values in tension with ease and comfort; to clarify needs, hopes, and
wishes; and to call our attention, always, back to the fundamental truth of our inherent
worth and dignity (as humans created in the divine image) and our interconnectedness is, for
me, one form of Communion.
What I have come to understand about my call through all of these experiences is that
the dysfunction of my family of origin and my history of trauma are not stumbling blocks to
but rather the solid foundation of ministry when set beside the cornerstone of the Jesus
story.xxxvi Through integration, I am becoming a powerful force in the world.xxxvii
I am called to serve and I flourish in that service when my ministerial functioning
meets a great institutional fit. Currently, this fit and flourish is found in facilitating OWL,
serving on Church Council, investing in new initiatives for ministry at Olivet UCC, using my
administrative gifts at ANW to “keep the wheels on the bus” of CPE, and in building the
Clinical Ethics Program.xxxviii Though it’s not a “typical” ministry, I believe that biomedical
ethics is a ministry of the church.xxxix As a “reflection on the intersection of values in
16
healthcare,” there are no black and white easy answers. We are called: to live the truth that
all humans have equal value; to treat all people with dignity; to address issues of injustice.xl
This work fits my understanding of Word (preaching – through action – the good news
of Jesus Christ) and Sacrament (the unseen reality represented in baptism – that we all belong
to God – and in Communion – that we are all welcome at The Table and equal before
God).xlixlii I do not anticipate that my work in administration will last the whole of my career. I
do not know what might come next. I feel prepared to do the necessary discernment work, in
collaboration with my faith community, as an ordained minister in the UCC to determine my
next ministry setting when the time comes and to continue serving and loving God through
serving and loving people.xliii
IV. How Power and Boundaries are at Work in Ordained Ministry
Whether we wish to acknowledge it or not, being in an ordained ministry position
opens us to having spiritual authority conferred upon us by those to whom we minister. This
carries with it a significant burden to maintain healthy and appropriate boundaries
intrapersonally and inter-personally. The stronger my internal sense of self and the healthier
my internal boundaries, the better able I am to meet others in their places of need and
wounding. It requires a significant degree of skill in establishing and maintaining these
internal boundaries as well as a particularly artful engagement of others in communicating
appropriate and healthy external boundaries.
I believe that these boundaries must be clearly established, cleanly communicated,
and can be well and appropriately negotiated in the shifting landscapes of ministry. For
example, when I first arrived at Olivet Congregational Church UCC, I knew no one. The pastor
was kind and gracious and invited me to coffee to get to know me as a potential congregant.
The relationship was clear and the boundary identified – the pastor was pastor, I was
17
potential parishioner; the pastor was there to understand and attend to my spiritual needs,
whether through direct ministry or connecting me to appropriate ministries within the church.
In the course of my nearly four years at Olivet, my relationship with that pastor has
shifted. By pursuing the MID process, he pastor has become a trusted mentor and advocate. In
the course of serving Olivet through my process, the pastor has become a ministry colleague.
Through extending care and compassion to the pastor's spouse and children in a tumultuous
season, the pastor and family have become friends.
This pastor and I have covenanted in establishing and clarifying the flexible nature of
our boundaried relationship – when I have needed the pastor to be a pastor or mentor, I tell
them that; when I need the pastor to be a colleague for ministerial support, I tell them that;
when I need a friend to care about the challenges in life and celebrate the joys, I tell them
that. As this pastor has left their position at Olivet, new boundaries have been established;
they have ceased to be my pastor in any way; however, they will remain a friend and
colleague in ministry.
This is quite natural and normative to me. I suspect this is in part, perhaps, related to
my fundamental nature and capacity for compartmentalization. While I strive to live a
spiritually and psychologically integrated life, I also have clean and clear delineations in
relationships. In relationships of equal relative power, I am open to collegiality and
friendship. In relationships of relative power differential, I feel a responsibility to maintain
rather strict psychological, social, emotional, sexual, and theological boundaries so as to
empower those who may confer spiritual authority upon me to be responsible for their own
life such that their process and growth does not depend upon their relationship with me, but
rather their relationship with themselves and with the divine. This is one of the most
fundamental ways in which my understanding of covenant informs my ministry. I covenant
with God and with others to support and empower their covenantal relationship with God.
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Lastly, recent experiences have raised my consciousness to the manners in which those
to whom we minister have the potential to violate our personal and ministerial boundaries. I
believe it is imperative as a ministerial authority to address such violations immediately and
clearly. In doing so, I hold a high value for appropriate and respectful communication and
clarification of boundaries, maintaining clear records of any such violations.
It is imperative to maintain such records and ensure that the ministry setting in which
one serves has a formal process established to address these issues, be it a Human Resources
(HR) department in a clinical setting, a pastoral-congregation relations committee in the
church, or a transparent and accountable relationship with a church’s Council. In my current
(and past) ministry settings, I have utilized my manger and, as needed, HR representatives to
assist in addressing boundary violations, work flow, expectation management, to proactively
seek supervision on areas of growth for myself to ensure optimal functioning in my work, and
manage appropriate work-life balance.xliv
There are additional personal avenues that I utilize to maintain these boundaries. First
is that my spouse is unchurched and completely uninterested in church. While he is
completely supportive of my ministry, he has no interest in being involved – and this has
always been my preference.xlv From the time I started my MDiv, when thinking about a
potential future family, I have always wanted to have a family life separate from the church.
In choosing a spouse, it has always been important to me that my spouse either attend
another church or that they be of another faith tradition. That my spouse is ethnically Jewish
and fits the "none" category of faith tradition, this has worked well for us.
There are two primary advantages to my spouse being unchurched. The first is that as
someone who has not connections to church life, he is a safe and uncompromised sounding
board for frustrations that arise in ministry. The second is related: he becomes an external
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check for me when things get really challenging; and he does not shy away from challenging
my perspective and asking clarifying questions when needed.
In addition to this relationship, I also maintain close friendships with colleagues from
seminary. These relationships span time, distance, denomination, and even faith tradition. I
have also developed meaningful relationships with several friends from my CPE experiences –
both with members of my cohort and with my former supervisors. I am not shy about seeking
supervision from any of them when need arises.xlvi
Finally, I have a spectacular therapist.xlvii Though my need for this therapeutic
relationship waxes and wanes, I know that my therapist is committed to being a resource for
as long as is appropriate. At the same time, my therapist is easing into retirement. I am
confident that when or as the need arises, once my therapist has fully retired, I will be able
to pursue an appropriate therapeutic relationship with another provider.
V. Conclusion
My journey to applying for ordination has not always been an easy one. It certainly
hasn’t been as straightforward as I would have liked either. It is a journey, however, that has
been grounded in my faith, grown through my experiences, and I believe uniquely prepared
me to ministry through Word and Sacrament in all of their many forms. It is but a snapshot of
the larger journey of my faith which began in early childhood and which will continue
through the whole of my life forward.
One of the most significant gifts of this journey is the profound level of spiritual and
emotional integration I have done in the process. While I certainly have blindspots, as we all
do, I am keenly aware of the things in life which have the potential to trip me up and disrupt
my process. I have an extraordinary community throughout time and space who do not
hesitate to point out my blindspots and call me back into alignment with my core values and
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beliefs. Ministry can be a profoundly isolating and lonely experience – having a community for
health and accountability is a significant blessing as I endeavor to undertake this sacred
calling.
I do not know all that my future holds. I do know that whether compensated or not, in
the institutional church or outside of it, wherever I choose to live next, my future does hold
ministry – and a ministry that is powerful and significant and may even be a transformative
and healing force in the world. It is my earnest desire that this ministry is done on behalf of
and with the authorization of the United Church of Christ.
i Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers in the United Church of Christ
Mark 8: Strengthening Inter- and Intra- Personal Assets
f. Demonstrating excellent communication skills. ii Mark 1: Exhibiting a spiritual foundation and ongoing spiritual practice
a. Loving God, following Jesus Christ, and being guided by the Holy Spirit; living a life of discipleship.
b. Praying actively and nurturing spiritual practices. iii Mark 5: Caring for All Creation
a. Nurturing care and compassion for God’s creation.
d. Providing hope and healing to a hurting world. iv Mark 4: Engaging Sacred Stories and Traditions
c. Understanding the history of the Christian Church, from biblical times forward. v Mark 2: Nurturing UCC Identity
b. Communicating passion for the oneness of the Body of Christ (John 17:21) vi ibid.
c. Holding active membership in a Local Church of the United Church of Christ. vii
ibid.
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a. Acknowledging Jesus as the sole Head of the Church
viii ibid.
e. Knowing and appreciating UCC history, polity, and theology. ix ibid.
f. Exhibiting a commitment to the core values of the United Church of Christ: continuing
testament, extravagant welcome, and changing lives. x Mark 5
f. Stewarding the resources of the Church. xi ibid.
d. Participating in the various settings of the United Church of Christ, including Local Churches, Associations,
Conferences, General Synod, and global ministries. xii
Mark 4
a. Exhibiting knowledge, understanding, and continuing study of the Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament. xiii
Mark 7: Working Together for Justice and Mercy
e. Engaging in mission and outreach. xiv
ibid.
a. Drawing on the ministry of Jesus Christ to confront injustice and oppression. xv
Mark 6: Participating in Theological Praxis
d. Demonstrating an appreciation for and participation in the ecumenical and interfaith partnerships of the UCC. xvi
Mark 3: Building Transformational Leadership Skills
c. Witnessing in the public square to God’s redeeming power. xvii
Mark 8
c. Exhibiting strong moral character and personal integrity. xviii
Mark 4
f. Holding the Holy with integrity especially as represented in the Sacraments. xix
Mark 1
e. Understanding the power of the Holy Spirit at work through the elements of Christian worship to nurture faith xx
Mark 7: Working Together for Justice and Mercy
d. Understanding community context and navigating change with a community. xxi
ibid.
c. Identifying and working to overcome explicit and implicit bias in the life of the Church. xxii
Mark 3
a. Empowering the Church to be faithful to God’s call, reflective of Christ’s mission, and open to the surprises of
the Holy Spirit. xxiii
Mark 6
a. Practicing theological reflection and engagement as part of one’s sense of ministerial identity. xxiv
Mark 8
b. Living in relationships of covenantal accountability to God and the Church. xxv
Mark 4
d. Bringing life to sacred stories and traditions in worship, proclamation, and witness.
xxvi Mark 1
c. Being called to ordained ministry by God and the Church. xxvii
Mark 6
d. Demonstrating an appreciation for and participation in the ecumenical and interfaith partnerships of the UCC. xxviii
Mark 4
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e. Leading faith formation effectively across generations. xxix
Mark 6
f. Embodying the UCC Ministerial Code. xxx
Mark 8
e. Understanding and ministering to stages of human development across the life span. xxxi
Ibid.
b. Maturing in effective proclamation and preaching. xxxii
Mark 3
b. Strategically creating the future of God’s Church.
xxxiii Ibid.
f. Exhibiting a commitment to lifelong spiritual development and faithful personal stewardship. xxxiv
Mark 3
f. Encouraging leadership development of self and others through continuing education and lifelong learning. xxxv
Mark 6
e. Experiencing and appreciating a variety of theological perspectives. xxxvi
Mark 8
a. Developing and maintaining a healthy sense of self as shaped by god, community, and life experiences. xxxvii
Mark 6
b. Integrating theological reflection in teaching, preaching, and ecclesial and community leadership.
xxxviii Mark 3
d. Performing necessary and appropriate administrative tasks. xxxix
Mark 6
c. Articulating a theology and practice of ministry consistent with the UCC Manual on Ministry. xl Mark 3
e. Working collaboratively with intercultural awareness and sensitivity. xli
Mark 7
b. Practicing the radical hospitality of God. xlii
Mark 8
d. Respecting the dignity of all God’s people. xliii
Mark 1
d. Continuing discernment of one’s call in community. xliv
Mark 5
c. Practicing self-care and life balance. xlv
Mark 7
e. Building relationships of mutual trust and interdependence. xlvi
Ibid.
e. Attending to one’s own spiritual and pastoral care, including engaging in supervision as appropriate. xlvii
Ibid.
b. Maintaining a basic understanding of mental health and wellness.
References
Martin, Jonathan. Prototype: What Happens when You Discover You're More Like Jesus Than You Think?. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2013.
Peck, M. Scott. The different drum: Community making and peace. Simon and Schuster, 1987.
United Church of Christ, The Constitution of the United Church of Christ, https://www.uccfiles.com/pdf/UCC_Constitution.pdf (accessed Feb. 25, 2020).
United Church of Christ, Marks of Faithful and Effective Authorized Ministers in the United Church of Christ, http://uccfiles.com/pdf/THE-MARKS-OF-FAITHFUL-AND-EFFECTIVEMINISTERS.pdf (accessed Feb. 15, 2020).