Middle School GroupsMiddle School GroupsAges 11-13Ages 11-13

PresentersPresenters• Group 8Group 8

– Alena SeniorAlena Senior– Stacy BishopStacy Bishop– Shaquira EtanShaquira Etan– Ron ClarkRon Clark– Adam FournierAdam Fournier

Peer RelationshipsPeer Relationships

•Types of RelationshipsTypes of Relationships– FriendshipsFriendships

•A significant relationship between two A significant relationship between two peoplepeople

•Based on caring, respect, Based on caring, respect, consideration, and trustconsideration, and trust

Peer RelationshipsPeer Relationships

•Types of Relationships (cont’d)Types of Relationships (cont’d)– CliquesCliques

•A small, narrow circle of friendsA small, narrow circle of friends•Usually share similar backgrounds or Usually share similar backgrounds or

tastestastes• Excludes people they view as Excludes people they view as

outsidersoutsiders

Peer RelationshipsPeer Relationships• 3 Types of Friendship3 Types of Friendship

– Casual Friendships – peers with whom you feel Casual Friendships – peers with whom you feel socially connectedsocially connected

– Close Friendships – peers with whom you are Close Friendships – peers with whom you are more likely to share your real feelings and more likely to share your real feelings and thoughtsthoughts

– Platonic Friendships – a relationship with a Platonic Friendships – a relationship with a member of the opposite gender in which there member of the opposite gender in which there is affection, but no sexual activityis affection, but no sexual activity

CliquesCliques• May be tightly or loosely knitMay be tightly or loosely knit• May treat non-members with scorn, May treat non-members with scorn,

ridicule, or indifferenceridicule, or indifference• Often discourages its members from Often discourages its members from

being themselvesbeing themselves• Actions are often “prejudicial” – a Actions are often “prejudicial” – a

negative feeling toward negative feeling toward someone/something based on someone/something based on stereotypes rather than experiencestereotypes rather than experience

Responsible RelationshipsResponsible Relationships• As you experience changes in your As you experience changes in your

feelings toward the opposite sex, it feelings toward the opposite sex, it becomes important to be responsible becomes important to be responsible in the relationships you formin the relationships you form

Responsible RelationshipsResponsible Relationships• Dating RelationshipsDating Relationships

– Dating is part of the process of learning Dating is part of the process of learning interpersonal skillsinterpersonal skills

– Dating helps you learn what types of Dating helps you learn what types of people you like and get along with bestpeople you like and get along with best

– Allows you to practice decision-making Allows you to practice decision-making and communication skillsand communication skills

Responsible RelationshipsResponsible Relationships• Ongoing RelationshipsOngoing Relationships

– A continuous relationship with one person A continuous relationship with one person of the opposite sexof the opposite sex

– Teens may be closing themselves off from Teens may be closing themselves off from meeting other people early in their social meeting other people early in their social developmentdevelopment

– Breaking up and making up can be Breaking up and making up can be painful, but is necessary to becoming painful, but is necessary to becoming socially maturesocially mature

Responsible RelationshipsResponsible Relationships• Choosing Not to DateChoosing Not to Date

– Not all teens dateNot all teens date– Some have others interests, don’t have Some have others interests, don’t have

time, or simply don’t feel emotionally readytime, or simply don’t feel emotionally ready– Wait until you feel comfortable about Wait until you feel comfortable about

datingdating– Talk to your parents about dating to learn Talk to your parents about dating to learn

their views on dating and valuestheir views on dating and values

Defining Peer PressureDefining Peer Pressure• Positive Peer PressurePositive Peer Pressure

– Doing something you didn’t have the Doing something you didn’t have the courage to docourage to do

– Turns out wellTurns out well

Defining Peer PressureDefining Peer Pressure• Negative Peer PressureNegative Peer Pressure

– Doing something you don’t want to doDoing something you don’t want to do– Turns out poorlyTurns out poorly– May cause addictionMay cause addiction

• ManipulationManipulation– To manage or influence skillfullyTo manage or influence skillfully

Peer PressurePeer Pressure• High Risk TraitsHigh Risk Traits

– Low self esteemLow self esteem– Lack of confidenceLack of confidence– Uncertainty about one’s place in a groupUncertainty about one’s place in a group– No personal interestsNo personal interests– Feeling isolated from peers and/or Feeling isolated from peers and/or

familyfamily

Peer PressurePeer Pressure• High Risk Traits (cont’d.)High Risk Traits (cont’d.)

– Lack of direction in lifeLack of direction in life– DepressionDepression– Eating disordersEating disorders– Poor academic abilities or performancePoor academic abilities or performance– Fear of one’s peersFear of one’s peers– Close bond with a bullyClose bond with a bully

Peer PressurePeer Pressure•Why give in?Why give in?

– ““Everyone’s doing it” Everyone’s doing it” mentalitymentality•Desire to fit inDesire to fit in

– Fear of consequencesFear of consequences•Being made fun ofBeing made fun of•Being left outBeing left out

– CuriosityCuriosity

Negative Peer PressureNegative Peer Pressure• Submitting to negative peer pressureSubmitting to negative peer pressure

– Desire to fit into the groupDesire to fit into the group– Labeled as a loserLabeled as a loser

Negative Peer PressureNegative Peer Pressure• Mostly effects:Mostly effects:

– Girls based on their looksGirls based on their looks– Between ages of 10-14 years oldBetween ages of 10-14 years old

• Focuses on:Focuses on:– Importance of having a certain lookImportance of having a certain look– Being considered “pretty” or “handsome”Being considered “pretty” or “handsome”– Looking like an idolized model/body builderLooking like an idolized model/body builder– Pressure to have certain clothes, shoes, accessoriesPressure to have certain clothes, shoes, accessories

Negative Peer PressureNegative Peer Pressure

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

Sex Drugs/Alcohol Be mean tosomeone

Lie/Steal/Cheat Dress a certainway

Perform well inschool

Pressures Among Young Women

Perc

enta

ge (%

)

Responding to Negative Peer Responding to Negative Peer PressurePressure• There are 3 ways you can respond to There are 3 ways you can respond to

negative peer pressurenegative peer pressure– PassivelyPassively– AggressivelyAggressively– AssertivelyAssertively

Responding to Negative Peer Responding to Negative Peer PressurePressure• The Passive WayThe Passive Way

– Giving up, giving in, or backing down Giving up, giving in, or backing down without standing up for your own rights without standing up for your own rights and needsand needs

– Passive people may think that they are Passive people may think that they are making friends by going along with peer making friends by going along with peer pressurepressure

Responding to Negative Peer Responding to Negative Peer PressurePressure• The Aggressive WayThe Aggressive Way

– Being overly forceful, pushy, hostile, or Being overly forceful, pushy, hostile, or otherwise attacking in approachotherwise attacking in approach

– The aggressive approach to saying no The aggressive approach to saying no may involve punching, yelling, shouting may involve punching, yelling, shouting insults, or displaying other kinds of insults, or displaying other kinds of physical or verbal forcephysical or verbal force

Responding to Negative Peer Responding to Negative Peer PressurePressure• The Assertive WayThe Assertive Way

– Stand up for your rights in a firm yet Stand up for your rights in a firm yet positive mannerpositive manner

– State your position, acknowledge the State your position, acknowledge the rights of other individuals, and then rights of other individuals, and then stand your groundstand your ground

– Do not bully or back awayDo not bully or back away– Become a role model for other teensBecome a role model for other teens

Peer Pressure and Refusal Peer Pressure and Refusal SkillsSkills

• Assertive RefusalAssertive Refusal• How to win:How to win:

– Prepare ahead of time for uncomfortable situationsPrepare ahead of time for uncomfortable situations– Know where you stand on key issuesKnow where you stand on key issues– Do not allow yourself to seek comfort in making Do not allow yourself to seek comfort in making

others feel badothers feel bad– Think of yourself as a leaderThink of yourself as a leader– Refuse to let yourself downRefuse to let yourself down

Personalizing Peer PressurePersonalizing Peer Pressure• What inner conflicts did the main What inner conflicts did the main

character face?character face?• What happened when he resisted peer What happened when he resisted peer

pressure? And when he gave in?pressure? And when he gave in?• Have you ever been in a situation where Have you ever been in a situation where

you felt like there was no right answer?you felt like there was no right answer?• What would you have done if you were in What would you have done if you were in

main character’s position?main character’s position?