MID-THAMES AREA

NEWSLETTER October 2012 No. 196

The New Lounge at Woodbrooke Local Meetings Henley Maidenhead Wallingford Reading Nurturing the Life of our Meetings: Berks and Oxon Regional Meeting Reading Interfaith Group Friendship Walk Book Review: Religion for Atheists Obituaries John Perkin Beryl Richmond Robin Evelyn Cherry Gould Remembrance MTAM e-Newsletter Contribution details Gift Aid Declarations are Changing

Photos of Woodbrooke’s new

lounge by Glenda Hemken

with text of the inscription of

the new window.

LOCAL MEETINGS

Henley

Ted Milligan came to Henley for one of

his peripatetic ninetieth birthday parties.

A lunch spread came from us all and

the ministries came from deep in the

spirit.

*************

We certainly have been extending

ourselves; Simon Bond came to

Meeting and stayed to talk about

Quaker work in Brussels and Diana

Barnett wrote an outreach article on

sustainability for the Henley Standard.

When the Kindlers gave us a day on

sustainability, we were grateful that they

didn’t take account of our low numbers.

As it was suggested, we were looking at

the spiritual aspects of sustainability

rather than double glazing.

Mike Macleod facilitated a course at

Wallingford on Spirituality and

Sustainability in Challenging Times ask-

ing whether it is enough to act as

individuals or whether we achieve more

by acting as a group. We are being

innovative in having a rotation of Clerks

throughout the year.

Double glazing and more must have

been very much in mind when planning

Woodbrooke’s new annexe – opened

this June to the surprise of those of us

who thought a request for funds still

meant nothing would happen for years.

As part of sustainability, Friends are

trying to encourage the use of

Woodbrooke as a conference centre

and felt the need for a welcoming social

area leading from the dining room. One

of the Friends in residence complained

happily that she now had to stay up late

to collect coffee cups rather than having

an early bed-time as the new bright

meeting place is so popular.

Glenda Hemken

Maidenhead

We recently enjoyed our second bring

and share lunch of this year which was

in celebration of Ted Milligan’s ninetieth

birthday. After cutting the cake we all

enjoyed Ted’s speech which reflected

on key moments in the life of the

Meeting and its sense of community

since the opening of the Meeting House

in 1935 (at which he was present).

As part of our commitment to becoming

a sustainable community, Beatriz

Medina is making curtains for our

garden room which will help it retain

warmth in the winter, and we will be

replacing the ceiling of the main room

with insulated material. We will be

monitoring our power consumption to

see what difference these measures

make.

Simon Bond

Wallingford

Last April, twenty-five friends from Wallingford Meeting enjoyed a week end away at Charney Manor, which is a beautiful C13th manor house just outside Wantage, owned by the Society of Friends and used as a hotel and conference centre.

Wallingford meeting has recently attracted a number of new attenders, many of whom are new to Quakerism, so one of the aims of the week end was to get to spend time with each other in a non-pressurised way, and generally share ideas and concerns about vocal ministry, introduce some practical ideas for developing spiritual growth and awareness, and have a refreshing break.

We all car-shared, and arrived at Charney mid-morning Saturday, in time for coffee and biscuits and an introduction to Charney. We were the only group staying there, so we had the manor and grounds completely to ourselves.

There was a last minute amendment to the schedule because two facilitators could not attend, and the updated agenda was given out. The week end consisted of discussion groups, a poetry session, art session and a meeting for worship on Sunday.

On the Saturday evening after supper there was a social quiz session that was very well attended and did not break up until quite late.

The quality of the meals were excellent,

and the ample time given over to breaks ensured that everyone could socialise and take advantage of the April sunshine to walk around outside in the beautifully maintained garden.

The final event was a debrief on Sunday afternoon, where people could feed back on previous two days.

Comments were extremely positive:

“I appreciated being away from the telly and radio for two days”.

“What a beautiful place Charney is. I would like to come back on a retreat”.

“The art workshop was extraordinary. I haven’t talked about some of these issues before.”

“I have really got to know people a lot better in the last two days”.

“It’s an eye-opener how many other people have worries about vocal ministry”

“The quiz was fun.”

Much hard work went into making this event such a success, and the organisers were thanked for all their efforts.

There was a consensus that this had been a worthwhile thing to do, and that we should plan a return to Charney soon.

Anne-Marie Green

Reading The meeting house foyer has recently been reorganised with notice boards, posters, bookshelves, and some seating attractively arranged, so a welcoming ambience is produced. Meetings for worship are well attended and are usually very good. It is remarkable that we sometimes have no spoken ministry – much appreciated. There are usually several children who come in for the first quarter of an hour and the youngest ones can sit on a quilt and play with (quiet) toys if needed. The windows of the rooms facing onto Church Street have just been replaced with double glazing. The new flooring in the hall – where we have coffee after meeting – was laid about a year ago and continues to be very satisfactory. Once a month there is a talk and discussion after coffee, followed by a shared lunch. On the last Sunday in September the talk and discussion will be on Sustainability. Recently, we have had a discussion amongst those going to BYM and then in the following month there was a discussion with opinions from those who had attended. We also saw an excellent documentary, “Animate Earth” a film by Stephen Harding The following groups are in our meeting (some of them arrange midweek eve-ning meetings and some will arrange Sunday lunch meetings): Sustainability Group, Israel and Palestine Interest Group, Becoming Friends, Community Justice Group, Prayer Group for Healing and the South Reading Neighbourhood Group. Outside the meeting house, Jill Wheatley and some volunteers have been working wonders on the front part of the garden leading to the meeting house from Church Street. The

landscaping company employed to lay a suitable wheelchair friendly path behind the meeting house (where the burial ground is) also took out and replaced the overgrown shrubs in the side beds. Jill has been planting smaller plants there too, so now it all looks very good. Our meeting house continues to be well used by various organisations. Very encouraging really as parking in nearby London Street can be quite expensive now. Many thanks to our warden Liz Smith who co-ordinates all the bookings and ensures the premises are clean and presentable at all times. Liz Longhurst

Nurturing the Life of our Meetings: Building Community

Berks & Oxon Regional Meeting (RM) held at Banbury Quaker Meeting House 29 September 2012

Inspired by Quaker Faith & Practice (QF&P) 10.11, this meeting began with thoughts from two Friends about community in their meetings. Martin Lloyd, of Reading Quakers (average attendance 60), said that, though supposed a large meeting, it had far fewer than the Catholic Church he used to go to. It achieved quite a good family atmosphere. He found Reading meeting, though small and scattered, well knit with welcome and understanding. The silent meeting for worship leads to deeper talk in the subsequent mingling. Diverse group activities and shared lunches help to build community. The meeting is considering how to support the parents of the many children in the meeting. The personal touch is the key; ‘largeness’ can be nourishing.

Judith Mason (Banbury, average Sunday attendance 18) quoted from the second paragraph of QF&P 3.03.

If we sometimes think things are wrong with our meetings for church affairs, it would help us to look at the situation in perspective if we could realise how many troubles arise not from the system, but from our human imperfections and the variety of our temperaments and viewpoints. These meetings are in fact not merely occasions for transacting with proper efficiency the affairs of the church but also when we can learn to bear and forbear, to practise to one another that love which 'suffereth long and is kind'.

Those in her small meeting know each other, sharing successes and stresses. Formerly top-heavy with experienced Friends, the meeting now finds it harder to fill job vacancies. Though younger Friends have energy only older Friends have time. Saying ‘no’ has to be acceptable. Attenders should not be swamped with information but answered when questions arise. The meeting has few children in and so is unlikely to attract more. Where challenges are taken up there may be unexpected success. The need to look after – or perhaps sell – their crumbling building is drawing Banbury Friends together. Judith concluded with quotations from QF&P 27.43 (‘the whole of life is sacramental’), Goethe and Isaac Penington (QF&P 10.01).

We then separated into four groups of about 10 in each to consider the day’s theme further. After lunch we discussed questions raised in previous group discussions.

Is there a relationship between the size of meeting and the quality of ministry?

The newness of those present matters more than size. Where there is high turnover, ministry may be more experimental and less Quakerly.

What should be the role of festivals or celebrations? The testimony against times and seasons needs to be put into perspective. Celebration of Christmas is widespread – as is that of events in the lives of Friends and the meeting.

When welcoming newcomers do we sufficiently explain the silence? Its depth may be self-explanatory – but meetings for enquirers have proved valuable.

Knowing that those who serve gain more than they give, how can we best recognize the gifts and interests of Friends and encourage their use in the meeting’s service? Not by means of a form but by getting to know people – through hospitality, including being glad to see that person. We must beware of concentrating on skills possessed to the exclusion of those not yet manifest.

How do we best support parents, keeping meeting a welcoming place? By relieving them of child care responsibility during meeting and if necessary engaging professional help. Children need to be respected as people. We should abolish fear of them and of ‘safeguarding’, for which operable templates are available.

In the final business session we heard that Chilterns Area Meeting will be seeking to join in our RM. As the RM already includes parts of Wiltshire and Warwickshire the addition of areas in Buckinghamshire and Hertfordshire may not precipitate a change of name. The next meeting will be at Henley on 23 March 2013.

At the conclusion of our meeting we recognized that in it we had been build-ing a community amongst ourselves.

Tom Heydeman

Book Review : Religion for Atheists Boldly facing us on the Henley library shelves was Alain de Botton's Religion for Atheists. The popular philosopher's idea seems to be that we have thrown out the bathwater instead of just the baby. He values the many rituals as well as the art and music of the church, and he thinks we could find more ingenious ways of using them. He stresses the common vulnerability of mankind and says, 'Christian art returns us relentlessly to the flesh, whether in the form of the infant Jesus's plump cheeks or the taut broken skin over his ribcage in his final hours.' Thanks to Photoshop de Botton gives us substitute art and architecture. The Stations of the Cross morph into Stations of Disability. So why not curate an art exhibition under 'Tenderness' instead of having the Renaissance room separate from the nineteenth century room and use all the appropriate images and installations from all centuries and cultures to evoke this feeling? If you want to get a taste of these ideas you can google T.E.D. and find a few minutes of Alain de Botton's talk there , but it's not a patch on the book. Glenda Hemken

Reading Interfaith Group Friendship Walk On September the 23

rd I was very privileged to attend the Interfaith Group

Friendship Walk. The weather was wet and cool but the company (about 50) was warm and friendly and there an atmosphere of seeking to understand more about the different faiths and denominations. There was a feeling of real friendship, which lasted throughout the walk. All the arrangements had been well made by the committee. We gathered at St. James Roman Catholic church - the first church designed by A. W. Pugin – which is being extensively refurbished to celebrate its 175

th year.

On each leg of the walk a lantern was carried by someone from a congregation that we were not going to visit. I took my turn. The lantern and the banner led the walk. Our next stop was St. Mary’s where we were welcomed by Canon Brian Shenton, sung to by boys from the choir and encouraged in our ‘interfaithness’ by the Bishop of Reading. We then moved on to the Waylen St. Mosque where we learnt about Muslim prayers and had a chance to ask questions. They are also undergoing refurbishment. Then we moved on to the Orthodox Jewish Synagogue where the Rabbi and his family explained the worship and customs in detail and showed us the scrolls in all their finery. It’s a special time of year for them –New Year just before our visit and Yom Kippur just after. They then gave us refreshments before we dispersed. During the course of the walk I had four significant encounters. I’m sure that others did too. That’s why we do it.

Jo Rado

Obituaries John Perkin—Newbury John was a member at Newbury meeting for almost thirty years and served as an Assistant Clerk and on Meeting for Sufferings. He was a respected physicist at AWRE in Aldermaston until he retired. After his retirement John studied art and produced over 600 paintings one of which hangs in the library at Friends House. He exhibited regularly. John was an active man and a keen walker, once walking 50 miles in a day. He was also an avid reader, consuming as many as 6 books a week. John and his wife Linda were married in 1949 and have three children, eight grand-children and five great-grandchildren. When Linda become ill John was selfless in his care for her. Theologically John was a Seeker (with a small and capital S). He was an active member of the Seekers and helped organise weekends for them at Charney Manor and at Woodbrooke. He came to accept God as Mystery and felt creative inspiration, whether in science or in art, was the gift of Divine Spirit. At the end he felt Love was a better word than God. He valued the stillness of Meeting for Worship. John died of lung cancer, an illness he bore with courage and fortitude in June 2012 in West Berkshire Community Hospital. Beryl Richmond—Newbury Beryl Richmond, a member of Leicester Area Meeting and a former Member of our

Meeting, died in Newbury in June aged 82 years. A funeral service in the manner of

Friends was held at West Berkshire Crematorium on 27th June. Beryl came to

Newbury from Birmingham in 1998 to help her daughter Dr. Madeline Norman with

the care of her two sons. She left in 2008 to live in sheltered housing in Leicester

but returned four months before her death to stay with her daughter and son in law

because she was suffering from a brain tumour. When she was living in Newbury

Beryl was a regular attender at Meeting for Worship and we remember her with

respect and affection. She was a particularly close friend of Ruth Saunders and

shared a love of gardening and crafts with her. They attended two residential Yearly

Meetings together. Her daughter, two sons, their partners and children were all at

her funeral Meeting and spoke warmly of the love and care she had given to them.

Robin Evelyn—Newbury

Robin Evelyn has died in Aldershot after suffering a broken hip whilst enduring the confusion of Dementia. Robin had moved from Portsmouth to Kingsclere to be near his daughter Antoinette who was caring for her husband who was a physician suffering from Cancer. Robin lived in sheltered accommodation and was brought to Meeting for Worship by a rota of Friends from Newbury Meeting. He had a great sense of fun, he was a quaint, monocle-wearing, bow-tied gentleman who loved his family and was a great incentive for youngsters to attend

Portsmouth Children’s Meeting when he was on duty. His life long friend Tommy Thompson was at his funeral and was able to marvel at the wonderful times they had spent flying and enjoying family days together. He was a Prison Visitor in Portsmouth and had a very compassionate slant to his ministryL”there but for the grace of God go I” he would tell his visitors at Kingsclere. He was very proud of being a direct descendant of John Evelyn the diarist and his commonplace books were crammed with quotations, anecdotes, photos and musings on the nature of life. Cherry Gould—Reading Cherry was born in Trieste in Italy where her father was serving in the army. Her

early years were then spent in the Northampton barracks until her father left the

army and the family moved to Reading. After qualifying as a teacher, Cherry went to

Cumbria to teach RE. Cherry was highly intelligent and widely read and was only 32

when she was appointed as RE adviser for Berkshire.

Cherry was introduced to Quakerism by a friend at teacher training college; she

started attending Meeting in Cumbria and became a member of Pardshaw Meeting.

She transferred to Reading in 1984 and to Newbury PM in 1992 after she bought

her bungalow in Kingsclere, eventually moving back to Reading when she moved to

the Beacher Hall nursing home. Cherry served as an Elder, Overseer, a member of

Newbury’s Worship and Pastoral Care group and of the Triennial Nominations

Committee, as well as visiting applicants for membership. Cherry attended Meeting

for Worship regularly, thanks in part to a rota of F(f)riends who fetched her when

she could no longer drive. She helped Newbury Meeting in many ways including

hosting study groups and keeping the book of thank you letters for our charity

collections. Cherry adored her cats and kept in close touch with many friends. She

was separated from her husband John, but we believe that he continued to support

her through her illness.

Cherry lived with Multiple Sclerosis for much of her adult life and fought very hard to

retain her independence in the face of increasing disability. In spite of this she

travelled widely and developed a particular regard for the language and culture of

the Czech Republic and also got to the top of mount Snowdon.

Cherry was sustained in her life by a strong Faith. As two Newbury friends

expressed it “Her fortitude and good spirits in the face of her deteriorating physical

health were inspiring and often made us realise how powerful her faith must be to

sustain her through many difficult times”.

Borrowing from the practice of Meeting for Sufferings we include in each newsletter a notice of those associated with Mid-Thames Area Meeting who have died in the interim.

Newbury

Robin Evelyn died on the 4th April 2012.

John Perkin died on the 12th June 2012.

Beryl Richmond who had moved back to Newbury after several years away died in June.

Henley

Christopher Timms died on the 20th April 2011.

Reading

Lisa Holditch died on the 12th March 2012.

Cherry Gould died on the 14th July 2012.

Remembrance March 2012 — September 2012

Mid-Thames Are Meeting Newsletter Now Available as a PDF

The Mid-Thames Area Meeting Newsletter can also be distributed by email as a PDF. So if you would like would like to save some paper, save some time and save costs to the meeting please send an email

with “MTAM Newsletter by PDF” in the subject line to: tobias.gibbons@gmail.com

NEWSLETTER CONTRIBUTIONS

There are three editions of Mid-Thames Area Newsletter each year in

March, July/August and November

Contributions are welcome for the next newsletter on any subject you think Friends would be interested in, including reviews of books, films or music and reports of conferences and other activities. Contributions or correspondence can be sent by email or by post in typed or handwritten form - whatever is easiest for you. When submitting by email please put “MTAM Newsletter Submission” in the subject line.

Please send your contributions for the March newsletter to the editor by February 11th 2013

Toby Gibbons

5 Christchurch Gardens, Reading, RG2 7AH 07979 241 646

email: tobias.gibbons@gmail.com

Gift Aid Declarations are Changing HM Revenue & Customs have issued a new model Gift Aid declaration form for

new donors with more detailed wording than previously. All charities have been asked to use the new wording and out collector, Margaret Laurie has made the changes to all MTAM forms. However, HMRC says that donors who have already submitted a declaration based on the old wording do not need to supply a new

declaration so you do not need to worry about re-submitting. The new declaration differs from the old principally in the bold type of the following statements. ‘You need to be aware that for Gift Aid to apply you must pay an amount of Income

Tax and/or Capital Gains Tax for each tax year (6 April to 5 April) that is at least

equal to the amount of tax that all the charities or Community Amateur Sports that you donate to will reclaim on your gifts for that tax year. They will reclaim 25p of tax on every £1 that you give. Note that other taxes such as VAT and Council

Tax do not qualify.’ Tom Heydeman (AM Administrative Officer)