MermaidX.txt

Mermaid: X

by:

KeikoJade

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Rating: RAdd Review Read Reviews,Last Review09/18/06(13)Added: 09/17/2006Complete: yesSynopsis:This story is dedicated to the wonderful site of Fictionmania and my supportive fans who make writing worth it.Categories:Magical TransformationsMind Transfer, Mind Possesion

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Mermaid: X

By: KeikoJade

I sat in my chair, too miserable and groggy-headed to understand whatwas going on around me. The temperature was always too hot, or too cold.

The sound of velcro ripping close to my ear made me open my eyes. Audrawas pulling a blood pressure cuff off my arm.

"Flu, I'd say," she said. "You're at the point where you'll either begetting better or worse. If it's worse than the flu, we're about to findout."

I nodded weakly. Audra was sitting by my side. I was covered in a pairof thick blankets, but still feeling cold.

Citrus smell. I opened my eyes. Audra was holding a slice of orange upto my lips.

"You really should try to eat," she said. Even the orange slice wasnauseating. I shook my head.

_Deep Thinker_ kept plugging northeast. After seven days of straightfilming, with me in front of or behind the camera, Katerine decided shewanted to do some shots off the coast of Northern California. The crewand I split up for a day while they restocked the ship with food, water,and fuel.

As soon as we set out a cold settled into me, and just got worse. Atleast we were in transit and not burning time on-site.

The cold got Audra thinking. She brought up the fact that I had noimmunizations. Of course I had been immunized, before my new life. But Ididn't know if they carried over into this body or not. She was worriedabout the potential for me to pick up smallpox, tuberculosis, polio, orany other assorted goodies that humans carried around. She didn't evenknow if I could be immunized, since she knew nothing about myphysiology.

As a marine biologist, Audra was of course interested in learning aboutme. She was supposed to be along to provide narration for the film. Sheprovided her voice and knowledge to several documentaries. But soonafter I filmed the whales, Katerine had finalized her vision for thefilm, and it didn't include narration.

Though Audra always piped up whenever someone asked about my abilities,she hadn't yet asked me anything. Still, she seemed to jump at thechance to 'diagnose' me by taking my blood pressure and temperature.

But whether or not she had altruistic motives, she stayed at my sidethrough the worst of my sickness and took care of me. Whenever I couldopen my eyes she was there. She held cold compresses to my forehead, anddabbed sweat from my brow. She nursed me with fish broth and juice.

At the height of my fever it became difficult to split dreams fromreality. I woke up to the strange image of being carried on my back byJim, Hector, Ashlen, and Julia. They staggered as the ship rolled. Thecompartment was flooded with water. I passed out again.

When I awoke I was in water as cold and dark as it was where the sunfailed to reach it. However, the cold was a blessing. My skin felt redhot, like seawater would steam off my body. I breathed it in. It was arelief compared to the air, which made my throat and mouth dry andraspy. Slowly the coolness sank into me. I heard the hissing of arespirator and the ascent of bubbles. A diver held me with both armsaround my waist. A rectangle of white light rolled above us. There wasanother diver here, too. He shined a light in my face, and I squintedagainst it. Then, he shined the light on his mask and I saw that it wasHector. I was being held by Jim.

Sleepiness faded from me. I came to my senses. I must have had such afever that they stopped the ship and dunked me to cool me down. Therewasn't enough ice onboard to make an ice bath, so it had been the onlyoption.

When we went back on board I was able to hear and respond, and mysuspicion was confirmed. My temperature had been so high that by thehuman standard I was risking heat stroke.

Sometime later, I later found out it was two days after my involuntaryswim, I opened my eyes and found some strength in my body. Audra wassitting in a chair asleep. I observed her for a moment. It was then thatit dawned on me what is meant by the term 'healer.' The act of hernursing me, not just providing essentials, but really showing that shecared, was a strong form of medicine.

"Thank you for nursing me," I wrote when she woke up. She smiled andsaid she was just glad I was feeling better. I felt closer to her, andobligated.

By the next day I was strong enough to swim and hunt for food. Eatingaccelerated my recovery. By end of the 10-day trip to Californianwaters, I was feeling well enough to film.

_Deep Thinker_ wasn't built for speed. She had originally been an oilrig tender. To travel from Hawaii to California she had to putt along at16 knots. So, it was easy enough for it to slow down, drop me off, andkeep going. It was a cinch to catch up to her again. Even if she droppedover the horizon, I just adopted her heading and poured on the speed.

The sounds of the engines dropping into idle woke me up. We drifted astop. Everyone but the captain must have been asleep. I opened the moonpool, feeling like a kid on Christmas morning. The water was dark blueand cold, and I still entered eagerly. After an initial assault ofgoosebumps, I adjusted to the temperature just as readily as I did inthe deep.

I surfaced quickly. It was dawn on the Californian coast. The Sun wasjust beginning to wrestle the sky from Venus. Its golden rays shinedthrough a belt of ocean mist rising from the tops of waves crashing ontothe shore. A long beach was shaded by dark, rolling hills. The peaks ofthe hills, covered with trees, beamed gold-green. The land looked cool,promising, and inviting.

It felt odd seeing the coast. There it was: America, my country. Thecoast of Hawaii hadn't had the same impact on me, because this was thecontinent, and stretched to my hometown, my family, my life. Theobsession of once again seeing this land had launched me on my journeyacross the Pacific. The hopes of seeing her again had had becomereality. However, though my wish came true, it didn't feel the way Ithought it would.

I was a foreigner to her now. I'd never set foot on that soil again.Though a whole continent and the harsh reality of my transformationseparated me from my family, I still felt closer to them. However, theirresistible urge to rejoin them had faded. Perhaps it was because I wasactually working on making that possible. Confused, I dunked my headunder the water, and then looked at the land again.

_Something within me has changed._

I dipped below the water again. It smelled and tasted robust and alive.The flavor was far different than that of the warm parts of the Pacific.As I dove, I found that it looked far different, too. Instead ofswimming above a reef, I was swimming above what looked like the top ofa dense forest. It was a canopy of softly swaying kelp. Intrigued, Idove down. The kelp was slick but not slimy, and I had to push it out ofthe way. I slipped down the long stalks until the canopy was above meand I was surrounded by rope-like columns of amber-brown stalks. Aboveme, sunlight was now streaking through these waving plants, casting longrays of light through the water.

Even the color of the water was different now. In the open it was aheavy, cool blue. Around the kelp forests, it was a rich green, likejadestone.

I reached the bottom. That alone was something new. Everywhere I'd beenin the Pacific, the ocean floor was always dramatically rising ordropping. Here the kelp grew out of a flat plateau.

Above me the canopy of kelp made a slowly swaying cathedral ceiling thatplayed in the sunlight.

As I looked around, I could still identify anemones, starfish,thornfish, and more mussels than I'd ever seen.

_How does it all work?_ I wondered. How were these waters so differentfrom the ones where it was warmer? What lived here? What were the namesof these fish? I dedicated myself to making more use of Audra'sknowledge. I wanted to learn it all, and I was in a position to do so. Icould even discover things other people would learn about.

The crew was already getting ready for the dive by the time I got back.We got all our shots in by noon, which was good. The coast of Californiais, of course, much more accessible to other divers, and by theafternoon we had company. We moved on to a location with sea otters, butgot there just after sunset. It was too late to film, but it's never toolate for me to swim.

I ran into otters right away. They were cute enough to hug. I followedthem into a canopy of kelp that was so thick I could almost crawl acrossthe surface of the water. The kelp strands were thicker than a bowl ofspaghetti. To my chagrin, I became hopelessly entangled, and then stuck.I observed the otters to discover their secret. It was pretty simple -they didn't have a big fluke and tail to get snagged. They were smallenough, and smart enough, that they could negotiate the thick strands.In fact, they wrapped up in them while they lay on their backs and ateclams.

This made me realize that I wasn't in such a bad spot. Being tangledkept me from drifting, and the kelp was so thick that a large predatorhad no chance of finding me. I didn't feel paranoid, and I could dropthe hyper-awareness I had to use while in the deep. Floating on my backon the surface in the ocean was always dangerous, since I couldn't usemy sonar with my head above the water, and couldn't see anything comingfor me.

With a new fondness for the intelligence of otters, I just relaxed andtook in the stars of a moonless night until my eyes closed.

_Deep Thinker's_ air horn was a rude wake up. Then, I realized it mustbe an emergency. I was always the first one to wake up. I pulled a stalkof kelp across my eyes and blinked. The sun was already high in the sky.I couldn't remember the last time I had slept so late in the day, and Istill wanted to go back to sleep! Wrapping myself up in kelp, secure andhidden, just under the surface, definitely made the best bed I had everlaid in on land or at sea. The kelp trapped the water close to my skin,and I was just as warm and snug as if I was under a down comforter on acool night.

After filming that day, I decided to stay at the otter site while thecrew took _Deep Thinker_ to re-supply. Everyone was excited to hit themainland after two weeks at sea. Listening to them talking eagerly ofstepping ashore and going to a restaurant made me feel a bit jealous.

As I watched _Deep Thinker_ sail away that afternoon, I was melancholy.I had really felt like a part of the crew. The inclusion had beensomething I had sorely missed. I was the reason that these people weretogether. Of course they were nice to me and tried to include me despitethe fact I was restricted to the pool or the waters. Over the course ofour filming the pool compartment had become the heart of the ship inlieu of the galley. Even the bridge, though I'd never seen it, felt likea peripheral place. Everyone had been with me.

But when I observed how anxious they were to get on shore, I realizedthat there really was something deep separating us. They hadn't shownmuch regret in ditching "The Tail."

_Stop feeling sorry for yourself_, I thought. When Ashlen had said tome, "I wish you could come with us," they had all agreed.

I pulled myself out of self pity. After all, I never showed an ounce ofregret in leaving them behind when I entered the ocean. Of course, theyfelt the same way about getting on land. And it was only one night.

The thrashing of _Deep Thinker's_ engine woke me up. Again, I had nowill to leave my toasty warm bed. But, there was work to do. I unwrappedmyself and shivered against the cold until I felt normal again.

_Deep Thinker_ sat heavy in the water. We only had one more thing to dohere in California, and I found myself relishing it - find some GreatWhites.

This was harder than it sounded. The way they usually get on film or TVis easy: A ship pulls up to their neighborhood and starts throwing chumand chunks of meat over the side until a Great White comes by for a freemeal, at which time the people filming show you how scary and ferociousthe animal is as he boldly approaches a large boat. From my perspective,I realized that the shark isn't any more bold or aggressive than a humanapproaching a fast food restaurant.

Katerine didn't want to chum for sharks, because shark footage fell intothat category, or what she called the "cliche of diver in scary steelcage." She wanted to find them in the open, and then sic me on them witha camera.

This had actually been my idea, and I had to convince them that I couldpull it off safely. The thing about sharks is that, like all creaturesforced to trade energy to gain energy, they were ruled by the economicsof survival. Though it was still a gamble on my part, I felt the oddswere that a Great White wouldn't spend energy in chasing me down becauseI had a strong chance of escaping. Jim and Hector, who had seencountless great whites in the wild, said that my speed and accelerationwas much greater than theirs.

As a cetacean research vessel, _Deep Thinker_ was outfitted with sonardesigned to find animals roughly the size of Great Whites in the openocean. So I was merely a passenger on the initially exciting, butultimately boring, shark search.

I took advantage of the time to keep learning from Audra and Ashlen. Themore proficient I became at signing, the more Ashlen was 'tied' to me tointerpret. However, this vastly increased my learning rate, because sheprovided me with new words and gave me corrections.

However, Ashlen and I still hadn't discussed what our night togethermeant. The question burned in my mind. My enamor with her was startingto turn bitter. I realized that night had been special. It had been theonly time we could break away from the ship and enter a quiet sea. Butstill, I wanted more from her.

Finally, I caught her alone.

"So, what did that night mean?" I asked.

"Let's not talk about it now," she said, smiling.

"Why? No one hear us. No one understands signing."

"I know," she said. "But, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"I have a - " she made a sign I didn't understand. "Boyfriend," shewhispered.

"Then..." I trailed off, feeling hurt, feeling inadequate. Of coursethat night had been a fluke, in more ways than one.

"Then, why?" I asked.

"I couldn't help it," she said. "I don't know why. I was so attracted toyou. I am attracted to you. I envy you, I admire you. Something made mecrazy that night. I played with fire."

I considered her explanation. _Something made me crazy that night._ Itwas possible that I had unconsciously influenced her. I had wanted her,but I hadn't expected she could possibly want me until that night.

I was disappointed. But I couldn't be certain I hadn't influenced her,so I accepted her answer. I at least understood.

"It's ok," I said.

"I was nervous to bring this up, because I didn't want it to damage ourrelationship. I was delaying."

I nodded. "Of course we are still friends. We always will be." _Bitch._

"Thank you," she said.

Later that day we found what looked like a great white on sonar. Thewater was calm enough to shut the engines off. This allowed me to use mysonar as soon as I put my head in the water. The ocean was only a fewhundred feet deep - again a big change from what I saw of the westernPacific. I pinged the shark directly below and moving steadily. I waiteduntil he had his tail toward me, then entered the ocean.

I kept the shark pinged and dove fast. Now I was below him and behindhim. I accelerated to get a visual. He emerged from the blue.

The first thing that struck me was the fact that the shark was moving ata good cruising speed with almost no movement. His tail faded from sideto side, but if you looked at his body it seemed like he was propelledby a silent jet engine.

I moved alongside him but kept a healthy distance. The profile of hishead filled me with fear and admiration. The name of his genus poppedinto mind, and the word _Charcharodon_, much heavier than _great white_,truly evoked the power and mystery of this creature.

Katerine and Jim had discussed unique ways that I could use the camera.I decided to try one such technique. I filmed him from the side, thenmade a wide loop around him, capturing him from all angles in one shot.

I wanted to get closer, but therein lay the danger. The closer I grew tohim, the less time I had to react if he decided to spring for me.However, it seemed to me that he wouldn't be very good at making a quickturn. That would stop him entirely, and then he'd have to re-accelerate.He had to be at least eight or ten times my mass, which meant I couldreach my speed cap before he even started building up speed. But still,he had to have some amount of acceleration to be an ambush killer.

Finally, I decided to try and manipulate his mind. Perhaps if I calmedhim I could approach. I imagined myself calm and peaceful and sated, asif I couldn't eat another bite. I projected this thought at the shark. Ifelt a connection immediately. The shark started slowing down. Icontinued to project, when all of a sudden I truly felt the emotions Iwas trying to project. I felt as if I was digesting a huge meal andfalling asleep. I snapped out of it and became more awake. The shark,however, was still sluggish.

_What the hell was that?_ I wondered. Curious, I tried it again, andagain, I felt the feelings I was projecting. I pushed harder. I felt aslight resistance against my mental efforts. I pushed, and theresistance faded, as if I had slipped into the reduction phase of a cam,as if I was pulling on the string of a compound bow.

The ocean gained immense color and clarity. My scope of vision wasbroadened dramatically, but blocked directly ahead by a big nose. I felta slipstream of water entering my mouth and sliding back out my body, onthe flanks, just aft of my head. The reserve of power my body held wasmassive, as if I was a bomb of potential energy, only a switch away fromexploding.

My arms were gone. My head was gone. Muscles contracted along my flanks,and I felt my tail move side-to-side. The efficiency with which I cutthrough the water was wondrous. The tiniest movement in my fins causedan instant change in direction, roll, or pitch.

I pulled back. I felt myself shed the shark's body and plunge back intomy own. I felt as light as a dragonfly and awkward as a windmill. I hadbeen the shark!

I tried it again, and my mind occupied the shark's body. Good Lord, thevision was amazing! Not only that, but I could sense something warm andalive in the water. The sensation was different from sonar. I wasn'tcasting anything out. It was almost a smell, like that of ionized airafter an electric arc jumps through the air. I rolled to my left and sawthe source of the scent - it was my own body, about thirty feet away. Itlooked as if I was sleeping. My head pointed to the surface and my armsdrifted aimlessly in front of me.

But what of the shark? I rolled right. I didn't want to suddenly losecontrol of the shark with him (suddenly, I _knew_ it, it was a her)waking up next to my body. That would just be like giving her breakfastin bed. I swam away from my own body. But then I realized that byleaving my own body behind it was just a grape, ripe for the picking byany predator that might come by. So, I decided to swim around myself. Icould keep an eye on my body while keeping enough distance so that ifthe shark took back its own body, I there'd still be enough time for meto adjust to mine and escape.

_Besides,_ I thought. _I'm an apex predator - what animal is going toattack my body if it's being circled by a great white?_

Circling was amazingly easy. The shark had excellent peripheral vision.It truly felt as if I had eyes in the back of my head. However, Icouldn't see anything directly in front of me. Anything within a fewfeet was in a blind spot. But if anything fell into that space, it wasprobably already too late for it.

I quelled my excitement to try and study the subtleties of thesituation. This was apparently mind control, not an exchange of bodies.My thought processes and consciousness were originating in the mind ofthat little finned blonde body I was orbiting. I was projecting mythoughts into this animal. It was an extension of projecting emotion, orthe next step up from it.

I listened for the thoughts of the shark. Slowly, I found them. Myconscience in this body seemed to rest slightly ahead and above theeyes. I was sharing the shark's brain. It took a long time for me tofocus and determine that the shark was blissfully ignorant as to whatwas happening. She assumed that my command of her body was actually herown command. She couldn't differentiate or distinguish between the two.It was as if she was in a dream, conducting actions that weren'tlogical, but needed no explanation.

I asked her what she was doing, just as humans give themselves realitychecks when they find themselves daydreaming. She took my query to beher own, and the answer chilled me. She was orbiting my body because shehad just bled it with a bite and was now waiting for it to weaken. Itwasn't moving, but she knew it was playing possum or was just in shock,because the electric smell from it was still healthy and strong.

I also discovered that she thought my body didn't look too appealing.The ratio of hard body mass to fat and meat made the mermaid miserablepickings. It was unlikely that consuming me would yield positivecalories after the work of digesting me. I queried her as to why she'deven bothered with me, and she responded that she was in dire straitsand that I'd been a windfall find.

I suddenly found our mental conversation a bit macabre, so I dropped it.The shark resumed her 'dream.'

I quieted my own mind and plumbed hers for information. Before myinterruption, she had been heading to a feeding location. Her knowledgeof the location was fascinating. She would recognize it by the light,the smell of the water, and the layout of the ocean floor. She had beenable to recognize this place since her earliest memories. I delvedfurther, and found that she had many, many such locations preciselymemorized. None of them had names, and the data of these places wasn'tstored in images, smells, or things that I could recall, but more like_receptors_ for these things. She knew she was in the right place wheneverything clicked together. And she knew other things as well. She knewthe potential yield for food at these places, she knew how much foodenergy she had to have stored to reach them, and the chances ofencountering others of her kind there.

I found myself becoming lost in her mind. It was seductive, like alibrary full of wondrous texts. But the more time I spent browsing herbrain, the more I realized that it was impossible to compareintelligence between her brain and my own. The two organs were completeopposites. Humans spent their whole lives learning about the world. Shecould see her whole life ahead of her from birth, but had almost noability to imagine it varying from her expectations. This exposed anamazing fragility: the world could easily change before she could adapt.

I became confident in my abilities to dominate the shark. I decided totest drive this powerful body. But as I accelerated I realized thatexpending her energy wasn't within my rights. I knew all too well that awild predator, or any animal, had to be cautious with their energy.Perhaps she couldn't afford for me to play with her right now? Iqueried, and found that she had recently fed, but pickings at her lastsite weren't as good as she'd hoped.

I decided she could afford to let me give her a workout. I straightenedout and accelerated. The thrust from her tail was massive, but so washer mass. Her instant acceleration was actually stronger than mine, butshe topped out fast. I felt the slipstream start to lose efficiency,then roll and tumble over her fins. The turbulence caused a strain onthe fins that started out as discomfort and escalated to pain. It alsocaused more drag. I slowed down.

Her top speed was well below mine, but she had a slight lead in hercruising speed. Furthermore, at cruising speed I was simply sailingthrough the water with the slightest movement of my tail.

This feeling of powered gliding was nearly indistinguishable from trueflight. After a few minutes I was able to let the tail move on its ownaccord and simply soar.

By now, though, it was getting late. I hurried back to check on my body.Without me guiding it, the camera had dragged it nearly to the oceanfloor. I became curious. Who can ever see themselves from the outside?

I dove down and came to a complete stop. From the shark's perspective, Iwas like a large doll. My knife in its scabbard looked like a toothpick.My eyes were closed and I was relaxed. My chest rose and fell as Ibreathed. I cautiously tapped myself in the stomach with the shark'snose. My limbs swayed in the water and my head rolled. Not only that, Icould suddenly taste myself. More carefully this time, I rubbed my noseagainst the skin of my arm. The taste was hot and coppery, and to theshark's mind, unappealing too much hard stuff and not enough calories.She regarded me as about as tasty as I would regard a starving cat.

I decided I had better jump back into myself. I swam away and resumedthe shark's original heading. When I got some distance from myself Ikept going at cruise speed. I suddenly wondered if this mind control waslimited by my proximity to the subject. I kept swimming, but didn't feelit diminish. Finally, I was too worried about leaving my bodyunprotected. I pulled myself away from the shark.

My body felt foreign to me when I dropped back into it. I felt as if I'dlost something. It was similar to the experience of swimming withflippers on one's feet. You get used to the enhanced speed. Then youtake them off and swim, and you are surprised by how easily the waterflows over your naked feet and how little thrust they produce.

I took a deep breath, and flexed my arms, which suddenly felt bizarre,as if they were too long and gawky to be proper body parts. But thefeelings of strangeness subsided as I started swimming back to the _DeepThinker._

On my trip back I started thinking of ways to exploit my new-foundability. I started developing a good idea. I just had to have a partnerto do the filming.

I broke into the moon pool and frantically tapped the com button. Jimand Ashlen came down. She must have been sunbathing up on deck, becauseshe wore only a long t-shirt just long enough to hide her bikinibottoms. Sometimes I wondered if she was intentionally torturing me.

"How'd it go?" Jim asked.

I started explaining, and Ashlen became my voice.

"I have a great idea," I said, signing so fast I splashed the water."You're not going to believe what we're going to film."

Jim laughed aloud. "Ytha, after this trip and meeting you, just try me."

"I can't explain it, you'll think I'm crazy," I said. "But we need tofind a shark so we can film him tomorrow morning at first light. You'llwant to film this all day, trust me."

As I smiled at Ashlen, I was inspired. I signed to her: "There'ssomething I can show you that you'll want to see. Do you want to go fora swim?"

She glanced at Jim, then back at me. "A swim sounds good, Yth. I'llchange and be right back."

"You want to come too?" I asked Jim, in an attempt to show that I hadinnocent intentions.

"Nah," he said. "I stick to swimming for the job."

Ashlen, dressed in a bodysuit, came back down. She sat on the edge ofthe pool, put on her mask and fins, and slid into the water. We sankinto the water.

"Remember how you said you envy me?" I asked.

"Yeah," she signed back.

"If you let me, I'll try to show you what it's like."

"How so?" she asked.

"Well, it may get personal. But you can trust me."

"Ok," she said. "Go ahead."

I gave a mental push. Just as it had been with the shark, I found myselfas Ashlen. I was looking down on myself, lying on my back, arms out asif on a crucifix with eyes half-shut.

_What's she up to?_ Ashlen thought. She didn't know I was in her head.

_This,_ I said, speaking in a voice she could hear. I felt a moment ofsurprise as I identified her conscience and pushed it toward my body.There was a moment of confusion and resistance from her, but she was nomatch for my will. I felt her spirit slip from her body and plunge intomine. At the same instant, I lost that ability to unlock her mind.Whatever cipher was used to do this was apparently firmly entrenched inher conscience, now locked in my body.

I watched my eyes open in shock. Ashlen stared at her body, now mine,and then at herself. She tried to flex her tail like a human would -bending at the knees and hips, but the cone of muscle and flesh sprangout of control and propelled her away from me. She rolled over. Her grinstretched from ear to ear.

She took a cautious breath, held it, and then laughed silently.Meanwhile, my lungs were starting to run out of air. The feeling wasstrange, since I hadn't had to hold my breath since entering the ocean.As fun as it was to watch her in my body, I had to surface. It wasdifficult to disobey my instinct to breathe water.

Instead of effortlessly moving toward the surface, I flailed. Not onlyhad I forgotten how to use legs, I had lost my tail, which wasincomparably powerful in the water compared to diving fins. I pulledmyself together and scrambled awkwardly to the surface.

I took a breath and was shocked to find how difficult it was to treadwater. The dive mask pressed uncomfortably in my skin. I stripped itoff, running my hand through black strands of hair. My teeth didn't seemto fit together right. Despite wearing a body suit, I felt chilly. Ifloated on my back and picked up my legs, raising my feet above thesurface. I curled the toes. I had legs again! I laughed aloud andremembered how good it felt to do so.

Ashlen surfaced next to me.

"How?" she mouthed silently. She remembered my handicap and startedsigning. "How did you do this?" she asked.

"Like this," I said. I pushed again. Jumping back to the original bodywas far easier. Now, we were in our original forms.

Ashlen pouted. "Ooh, put me back?"

I did so.

"How long does this last?" Ashlen asked.

"I don't know," I said aloud. "But I do feel it takes some form ofenergy to maintain."

"I can swim as you?" she asked. "Can I... try you out?"

"Yes," I said. "Just be cautious, and don't damage me."

"I won't," she signed.

"And I'm going to go on the _Deep Thinker_," I said. I couldn't wait totry walking.

"Go ahead!" Ashlen signed. Then, she was off.

I swam for the ship. What should have taken a second took a few minutes.The human form was pathetic in the water!

I pulled myself out of the moon pool and slid on my stomach onto thefloor out of instinct. Thankfully, I was alone, which would spare Ashlenembarrassment if I couldn't remember how to walk.

I got up on all fours, then kneeled, and using a railing as assistance,I stood. I tentatively let go of the rails and held my balance on twofeet. It was easier than I thought it would be, but just to be safe Ikept my hand on whatever was handy.

I left the pool and entered the passageway for the first time. I climbeda ladderwell and found myself in the berthing area. Julia came out ofher quarters and bumped into me in the narrow passageway.

"Ooops, sorry, Ash," she said. It was amazing to look her in the eye.

"It's ok," I said.

"Go for a swim?" she asked. I was dripping wet.

"Yeah," I said.

"With The Tail?"

"Uh-huh. She's still out there."

"As usual," Julia said. I couldn't tell if she was using a sarcastictone.

I touched my hand to my head. "I think I got too much sun?"

"You?"

"Yeah. Which one's mine?"

Julia looked concerned. "Here," she said calmly, pointing to a hatch.

"Oh yeah," I said.

"You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah," I said.

I stepped into Ashlen's quarters and secured the hatch. There was a fulllength mirror on the wall, filled with Ashlen. This I couldn't resist. Istruggled to get the bodysuit off, then stood up straight. Ashlen'sbreasts stood out proudly.

_Damn, those are nice,_ I thought. I cupped them, thinking about thelast time I'd touched them.

_I hope revealing this ability draws her to me again,_ I thought.

I used a towel to dry off, then found what she'd been wearing when shecame downstairs, bikini bottoms and a long-bodied t-shirt. I put theclothes on. As I walked back to the hatch, I saw something that made mestop. A pair of pumps sat on the floor, one tilted over. I blinked atthem. I looked at Ashlen's feet my feet, and couldn't resist trying onthe pumps. I had no idea why, but new that they were just sexy. But asI reached for the pumps I realized it was the feet and legs that weresexy. I had never had such a fetish and now it was consuming. I sat,holding her feet in my hands, stroking the legs, spreading them apart,amazed, as if my tail was separating. All this left me a bit confused,but very turned on. Finally I realized I'd wasted a lot of time, andexited.

I wandered around the ship, amazed by everything I'd never seen, until Iheard Katerine's voice coming from an open hatch. I looked into theroom. Katerine and Julia were working at a station that held four TVmonitors and computers and mixing equipment. Footage of the sea was onall four screens.

"Knock knock," I said.

"Come on in," Katerine said. I took a seat behind them. I pulled myknees up to my chest. With their backs to me, they couldn't see meslowly caress Ashlen's legs and feet, and roll each of her toes betweenmy fingers as I watched what they were doing on the monitors.

Katerine flashed quickly through video of me swimming.

"This angle is good, but at frame 185 too much of forward face isshowing," she said. She slowed the video down until it was rolling frameby frame.

"That we can darken," Julia said. "The shadows are falling just right."

Finally, curiousity got the better of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Editing Tail footage," Julia said.

"Editing to make sure her face is not captured in any particular shot,"Katerine said.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because, darling, it has to do with the overall depiction of mermaidand not to do with representation of individual mermaid."

"Why is that?" I asked.

I heard a slight sigh from Julia.

"This is the way I want to make my picture, darling," Katerine saiddefensively.

I sat silently. "I don't quite understand."

"Because," Julia said, "the mermaid as an icon, her life in the ocean,is what this is about. It's not about the actual individual mermaid.Ytha's not going to be available to the public after this film is made.If we identify the film too closely with Ytha, instead of the mermaid,it's going to be a massive public affairs headache that could have abacklash on the film. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I said.

I had never seen this side of Julia. To me she'd always shown the utmostrespect. To Ashlen she was being sharp and condescending. I had noticedthat Ashlen was treated as a bit of a kid by the other women. It waspossible her role in this project, basically as a prop, had something todo with this.

"I guess I'll leave you two alone," I said.

"Could you shut the door on your way out?" Julia asked. "Oh yeah, andfind out what The Tail has in store for us tomorrow."

Now _this_ was interesting. Of course, Ashlen was the human with whom Ihad the most communication. Did she serve as messenger, in addition totranslator?

"Oh I know what she's got," I said. "And you'll like it, believe me."

"What is it?" Julia asked. I suddenly remembered a phrase I'd read atsome point: "Gossip is the currency of the court." In the Marines, too,the almighty "word" was always of value.

"She's going to exhibit mind control on a white shark, if we can findone," I said.

The two women froze and looked at me.

"Mind control?" Katerine asked.

"Yeah."

"Do tell," Julia said.

I leaned against the frame of the hatch. "Mind control. Yesterday whenshe was filming that great white - did you like the footage, by theway?"

"Yes," Katerine said.

"Good," I replied. "When she was trying to calm the animal down, shediscovered that she could dominate its mind, and fully control it."

Katerine shook her head. She turned back to the monitors. "I know shesay she has some communication with the whales, but this fairy tale Ihave to see to believe."

Julia paused. "I don't know. I felt the control, the first time I mether. At least a taste of it."

I suddenly decided to drop the charade.

"She's using it right now, as we speak," I said. "I'm Ytha. Ashlen ishaving fun as me right now. Of course she's always dreamed of breathingunderwater."

They both stared at me.

"Actually," I said, holding the hatch and looking around. "This is quitenice. I always wondered what the rest of the ship looked like."

"Come on," Katerine said. Julia stared at me with embarrassment, whichshe tried to correct. But she just ended up blushing. She realized thatshe'd exposed me to a new side of her personality.

"Well, I might give you a demonstration, later," I said. "But yeah, it'sme in here."

Revealing myself suddenly provided me with the sense of confidence I'dalways had with these two. I walked into the room and took a close lookat the controls they were using, and the images on the video screens.

"While I'm up here, perhaps you could reveal to me some of the footagewe've been working on, and explain your concepts for the film? If youhave the time, of course."

"Ytha?" Julia said. I looked at her. "I know that look. It is her."

Katerine stared at me with her ice blue eyes. "If you say so. Well, nowthat you have a voice, we can do some talking. Are you in her? She is inyou?"

"Essentially," I said. "I believe the way it works is that I am actuallystill in my body, and she in hers. But our conscience in simplyprojected into the other. For example, if my body, that of the mermaid,was killed right now, I'd lose control of this process and Ashlen wouldbe back in control of her body."

I frowned. "Speaking of which..." I was suddenly worried about whatAshlen might be doing as me. But, I figured she was trustworthy. Sheknew enough about the sea to be safe.

"So," I said, sitting down and jutting my chin to the monitors. "What'sthe story so far?"

Katerine and Julia suddenly found time to explain the story. I wasstarting to appreciate their creative process when I noticed a bit offatigue building, like a soft buzz, in the base of my skull. It centeredon the spot in the back of the upper neck, where the skull attaches tothe spin. I continued listening, but the fatigue grew. I wondered if itmeant I should go back to myself.

"That's great," I said. "I really like the job so far. But we'll have tocontinue this discussion a bit later."

Katerine nodded and smiled. "Anytime."

"I'm going to put Ashlen back into herself now," I said.

With that, I flipped. This time, I actually flew to my body, blurringthrough the ship and a long stretch of blue water. I crashed intomyself.

I was laying supine, facing the surface from only a few feet down. Mynipples were hard, I was panting, and I was aroused. One hand cupped abreast, and another was over my privates.

_Hmmm, Ashlen was being naughty_, I realized. I suddenly regrettedgiving her body as much respect and privacy when I'd been alone in herroom!

As I swam back to _Deep Thinker,_ the fatigue faded. But, my spiritsdid, as well. I felt melancholy again, as I had after the mentalconversation with the whale. It was as if my spirit had diminishedduring these mental exercises, leaving me saddened.

I thought about what Ashlen was doing with my body. Did I turn her on,or was the excitement of being me turning her on? In a way, I felt sorryfor her. If she identified with being a mermaid so strongly that it wasarousing, then it was an identity lodged in her soul. That would explainher motivation to become a champion free diver. It also explained whyshe was so often melancholy and shy. Perhaps as a human, she wasn't whoshe truly wanted to be.

_Maybe I should give her the necklace,_ I thought. But what if it didn'twork on her, after I'd gotten her hopes up?

I had a lot to think about, but I was confused and depressed. But atleast I knew why I was depressed, and that after some food and rest myoutlook would return to normal. I decided to think things through when Iwas in a better frame of mind.

By the time I had eaten and returned to the ship I was feeling better. Irose to the surface of the pool to find Ashlen there, lying on her sideon the edge of the pool with her head resting on her arm.

"There you are!" she said with relief.

I nodded. I decided to act ignorant of the state my body was in when Ireturned to it. But she assumed I knew.

"I'm sorry about that," she said.

I shrugged. "I checked out your body in your room," I said. "And Idisclosed the swap with Katerine and Julia."

"I know," she said. She switched to signing, which meant her words werefor me alone. "You switched me in the middle of an orgasm. It took me afew seconds to figure out I was back in my body. Katerine and Julialooked at me like I was an idiot, and I had to pass it off asconfusion."

"I'm sorry," I said. "Did you enjoy the change?"

"Oh yes," she said with her hands. "I like your body. I mean, I reallylike your body. I was sad to let it go."

Again, my necklace came to mind. But, I really didn't even know who Iwas. This transformation had been both a gift and a curse. Was I evenhuman anymore? For now I had friends. But this cruise wasn't going tolast forever. What would I do when it's over?

"What is it?" Ashlen asked.

Deliberating put a serious look on my face. I broke it with a smile."Nothing," I said. "Just thinking."

"Ytha, I have a questions," she signed. "But it could get me introuble."

"Why?"

She whispered and signed to explain: "To work with Julia I had to agreenot to ask you or her about things," she said, "that pertain to yourpast, your origins, etc. But I'm so curious: where did you come from?Why do you know English, and so much about human life? You had to behuman. And if you were once human, you became a mermaid by a processthat I could undergo as well. So, I'm curious. I'm beyond curious. Howdid it happen?"

I looked away. I was confused: while I was ashamed of my transformation,afraid what people would think of me if they knew I was once male, whatAshlen would think of me, I was also proud of what I'd become. But innot telling the truth, others would always doubt me. But, they maybelieve a lie. Would a white lie about my past be something I could livewith?

_Lie._ I could think up an answer for Ashlen if I wanted to put herquestions to rest. I could tell her I'd been born this way, and gainedmy skills in English and my insight into human life through mindreading. This lie would also close her mind to the possibility ofbecoming like me.

I raised my hands to sign, to create the lie, but paused.

I resumed their motion: "The past is difficult for me."

"Then, you were human?" she asked.

Her persistence bothered me. I used that emotional power and transformedit into sadness.

"I'm lonely," I said, counting on ambiguity and a sad expression."Please, I don't want to talk about this. There was a reason you signedthat agreement."

Sympathy and an appeal to her honor seemed to work. "Ok," she said. "I'msorry I brought it up."

"It's ok," I said. I decided to change the subject. "Do you feelmelancholy after we changed back?"

She nodded. "Intensely so."

"It's an affect," I signed, "of my powers. I think it's like a mentalhangover."

I moved close to Ashlen and rested on the edge of the pool with myelbows. She lay on her side with her face close to me, her head proppedup on a hand.

"There's another affect, too," she whispered. Her eyes shimmered and shesmiled wickedly. She looked down toward her feet. Her free hand slippedunder her bikini bottom.

"I think it turns me on," she said.

I pulled up on my elbows. She slid forward, and we kissed. My hand sliddown her shoulders, torso, slid up the slope of her hip. I caressed herleg, marveling at how much her lower limbs turned me on. My hand slid upher inner thigh. Her wetness soaked through her bikini bottom. Ashlenmoaned as I slipped a finger into her.

My eyes kept wandering to the hatch. I listened intently for the soundsof someone approaching. I felt like I was in my room with a chick and myparents were home. But Ashlen didn't seem to be paying attention toanything but me. She was beyond caring.

I pulled back, and pulled her legs to me. She sat on the edge of thepool with her feet in the water. I slid under the water and traced myfingers down her muscled calves to her feet. I put my face in front ofthem and took them in both hands. I tilted them down on her ankles,experimentally, and watched as the top of her foot sloped when I pointedit down. I kissed that spot, pulled back, and had to kiss it again. Istroked her calf muscles, and then her knees. I found myself fascinatedby the muscles of her thighs. I put my head between them, and kissedthem until she put her hands around my head and pulled me to her.

Under the water, I couldn't hear her. But I could tell what I was doingto her. Her orgasm was like a storm. When she relaxed the grip on myhead she had with her thighs, I slipped away and came up to the edge ofthe pool. She lay on the deck with her legs floating in the pool. With amassive smile she stared out aimlessly.

"I don't think I can walk," she said.

I slid up onto the deck and slid to her. I lay on my side and pulled herto me. She took my hand as I held her. Strangely, I didn't feel theoverwhelming urge to have an orgasm myself. Had I been male in thissituation, I would have demanded reciprocation. But I felt differentlynow. Intimacy with my lover, even just kissing, had its ownsatisfaction, different but comparable to physical gratification.Besides, making her orgasm while holding myself back was somehowamusing. It made me feel masterful of her.

After a time, I signed with one hand, spelling out the words on myfingers.

"It's really late. People will wonder."

"They already do," she whispered. "Maybe they already know. But I don'tcare, because I love you."

I lay there, stunned. But the wonder of her words filled my heart withhappiness.

She rolled on her back and looked up into my eyes. "I love you," shesaid, her eyes glistening.

Tears welled in my eyes despite my efforts to hold them back. "I loveyou, too," I signed.

The next morning, the film crew sat around the edge of the pool andwatched me as I explained. I had just come back from getting a visual onthe great white that _Deep Thinker_ had detected. He was hunting nearthe ship.

"Any questions?" I asked.

"Yeah," Jim said. "What if you lose control at a critical moment? Areyou absolutely certain that things will go well? I mean, if you slip upand I'm right in front of the shark, I mean, anything could happen."

"This is true," I said. "Anything could happen. I can't give aguarantee. However, I will say that I would never put any of you in aposition that I'm unwilling to fill. I'll be in the water with you. But,really, I don't want to put pressure on anyone. I just think this willbe a cool shot. Technically, we only need one person besides me to dothe filming."

"For safety, at least two others," Jim said.

I nodded. Jim looked around at the dubious faces.

"I'm excited," Hector said. "I'm in."

The others agreed as well. Things kicked into gear and everyone startedsuiting up. I dove and relocated the shark with my sonar. He wasorbiting on my side of the kelp forest, only a few hundred feet away.

Katerine, Audra, Jim, Hector, and Ashlen entered the water. Audra hadn'tdone any filming with us, but this time she was going to act asbabysitter to my body while I was controlling the shark. Julia and Noelentered the water above us on a rubber boat. They used oars since amotor could screw up my sonar at a critical time.

The five of us leveled out at about forty feet. The closer we filmed tothe surface, the longer the humans could stay underwater, and thequicker they could recover for another dive. I felt the shark with song.He had noticed our entry, and was keeping a good distance.

I moved close to Audra, and then gave the signal. I pushed my mindtoward the shark. I could feel my thoughts stretch through the bluedistance. Telepathy over this distance was tenuous. The connection feltrubbery, as though it might snap at any moment. I gave a final efforttoward him, and the connection broke toward the shark. I plunged intohis body and mind.

I remained an observer to get my bearings. He was hunting, alright: theintensity with which he observed his environment him was shocking. Hewas annoyed that the five humans and one semi-human

( in the shark's mind, 'human' was the concept of a gangly, awkward,useless inedible that simply polluted the water and served asdistraction at best and a hindrance to finding food at worst )

had entered his hunting grounds. He monitoredthe energies in the water. There was prey near the shore, among therocks. Sea lions. However, they weren't yet within range.

The shark wasn't exactly hungry. He'd eaten the day before, but ithadn't been enough. He was hoping for a big, fat sea lion on which hecould gorge himself. On board _Deep Thinker_ we had a bunch of tunacarcasses that Jim had planned to use to attract sharks for filming. Wewould use those to compensate the great white for our use of him.

I took control of his body and felt gratification. There's somethingundeniably satisfying about being a _Carcharodon carcharias_, theplanet's apex predator. I just felt absolutely _bad ass._

I turned gently toward my crew. Harsh, quick turns were dramatic, butthey stopped the shark and forced me to accelerate a uselessexpenditure of energy. Also, stopping for a shark is akin to stallingfor an aircraft. The flow of water across my gills ceases. When it does,the body warns of impeding oxygen debt, and re-acceleration's effortannoys the shark.

I locked onto the electric signals of my friends and felt like a cruisemissile as I sailed toward them. I saw them before they saw me. Ashlenwas at the surface getting breath. The others hovered in the water,close together, holding onto their electric jets and camera equipment. Idecided to let them sweat it out a bit before giving the signal that letthem know I was in control. I did a long, slow roll in the water as Ipassed beneath them. I turned, and did it again. I came to a stop infront of them. They were tiny creatures, like dolls. Audra gripped mylimp body by my dive belt.

Jim reached out and touched my snout. I finned past him delicately, andhis touch ran down my body. I orbited, came back, and saw that Katerinewas holding out her grease board. I grew close to her. She held it intrembling hands. She had drawn a diagram describing how she wanted me tomaneuver for the shots. I memorized the vectors, then started executingthem for the filming.

This went on for hours. The crew worked in shifts. We filmed in the mid-level of the kelp forest. But we couldn't go down to the trulyphotogenic forest floor, where there were wide spaces between the stalksof kelp. Jim and Hector didn't have the right air mix to spend any timedown there, at 250 feet. They discussed the situation at the surface,then dropped back down with an answer. Ashlen explained what to do bysigning to me.

She swam up to the surface and I followed. She got a loaded camera fromJulia. I paused a few feet from the surface. Ashlen rested, then took adeep breath. She swam to me and draped herself over the top of my headwith her feet on either side of my dorsal fin. She hugged my nosegently. I dove quickly, but carefully so the slipstream wouldn't rip heroff me and so she could keep equalize the pressure on her ears byplugging her nose and blowing. I could taste her with my skin. It wasstrange to find her so unappealing!

I leveled out at the bottom and swam into the kelp forest. Ashlen let goof me. We only had a few minutes before she had to be at the surfaceagain. I maneuvered through the kelp, banking and turning, passing overher, and by her. She crouched on the ocean floor and jumped upward. Iswam back to her and came up on front of her. She grabbed on to me, andI brought her to the surface.

As I was rising, I noticed oblong profiles hanging on the surface, notfar from the rubber boat. My senses gave me no clue as to what theywere. But as I grew closer, I saw legs dangling in the water, andrealize it was a pair of surfers.

I leveled out under the rubber boat and Ashlen let go of me. I rolledand watched her reach the surface. Julia, squinting into the viewfinderof a camera she had on her shoulder, was watching me. She broke awayfrom the viewfinder, and waved. The expression on her face was one I'dseen a lot that day on the faces of my friends: the expression ofsomeone who doesn't quite believe that they're awake.

I couldn't project telepathy from the body of the shark. Perhapscontrolling it took all my resources. I couldn't tell her to keepfilming the surfers, or make signs, but I pointed my nose in theirdirection, and paused for a moment. She looked in the direction Iindicated, then looked back at me with an evil grin and nodded.

I dove deep, positioned myself directly below the two, and thenaccelerated straight up. They were only a few feet apart, and I aimedfor the middle of that space. I broke the surface and pushed them asidelike dry leaves. From here, I could see _Deep Thinker_, a rocky beach,and the surf, which was a hundred yards closer to shore, over the kelpforest. The two surfers and their boards were thrown aside. Just as mytail left the water, I paused, then fell on my side. The impact stunglike a belly flop.

I swam away, then surfaced and spyhopped putting my eyes above thesurface. The surfers had gotten back on their boards and were racing forshore with the inhuman speed that only fight-or-flight adrenalineafterburners can provide.

By now, it was late afternoon. Ashlen was spent, and the crew rotatedthrough their dive cycles. Audra had pulled my body into _Deep Thinker_,which was a great relief, since I didn't have to worry about it beingunprotected.

But we hadn't gotten what we really wanted, and that was a shot of thegreat white at its finest, from both below and above the water. Juliaand a diver stuck together and waited to come across some filmable prey.I followed them but kept a low profile, staying at the bottom of thekelp forest and ranging slowly back and forth. Just before sunset, whenthe waters were golden and the light rays streaked in almosthorizontally through the kelp forest, I sensed something in the waterbesides the rubber boat and the diver beneath it. I allowed the shark'smind to identify it: a pair of sea lions.

I didn't know why they were close to the boat, but the shark knew thatthe sea lions were often found near boats (inedible, hard non-water inwhich the shark had no curiosity.) I relaxed my grip on the shark's mindbut remained vigilant to keep him from acting out of my control. He wasshy of the boat, but I disallowed him to consider it. It became a blindspot, along with the fact that there was a human in the water beneathit. The scenario that formed in his mind was that he was stalking prey.He ignored the boat and the diver just as a sleepwalker would ignore theworld around them and follow a dream.

The shark's mind was fascinating to observe. In the blink of an eye, itquickly evaluated the target. The situation was unique, because if theshark played his cards right he would get a two-for-one deal. However,he had a plan stored in his brain to bag both animals. He calculated thedistance, weighed risk against reward, and devised a plan of attack.Then, it executed the plan.

The shark planed his fins for maximum stealth, then nosed up andaccelerated with slow, deliberate strokes, like a guided missile in itsterminal stage. Kelp slithered across his body and he shimmied to avoidsnags. Just before he rose through the canopy he exploded, and coveredthe last few feet to the sea lion in the blink of an eye. The shark'seyes rolled back into his body.

The impact felt like I'd run into a brick wall. The shark's mouth wassuddenly filled with the stomach of the heavy mammal. He chomped, and Ifelt a few teeth break off. Blood, rich and fatty, filled his mouth andthroat. The attack had shot the shark halfway out of the water, evenafter the impact. He released, and the sea lion and he dropped backdown. As he fell back, the shark lashed out at the second sea lion. Thebite clamped down on the rear flippers of the sea lion, and the sharkdragged him down, then shook the limb off of the animal. He bit again,taking another piece with him, then let go of the animal and swam backfor the first one. The second was trying to swim with only his frontflippers, but he wasn't moving fast enough to escape before his bloodescaped from him.

I was horror-stricken. The speed and ferociousness, and the sheerbrutality knocked me senseless. I found myself slipping away from theshark. For a moment I almost backed out voluntarily, but then I realizedthat my crew was nearby. They might be endangered if I left them withthe shark. I hadn't expected this affair to be so brutal, and I grimlyheld on. The shark didn't want to eat the animals right away. Hedelivered killing blows, let the blood drain from his victims, and thenfinished them off when they couldn't fight back. It seemed cruel, but itfollowed the laws of nature: efficiency, maximization of reward overrisk.

The first sea lion was writhing in the water. The shark attacked himagain, and this time dragged him down to the bottom. Consumption wasaccomplished by shaking, tearing, and swallowing. He noticed the diverin the water, closing in to get a good shot, but I forced the shark toignore him.

After he consumed the first carcass, it felt like his stomach was goingto explode. He rocketed up and snatched the second sea lion, which wasfloating lifelessly in a cloud of blood. He dragged it to the bottom andate it.

He made a hasty escape, then slowed down. Once he was away from thescene of the crime, out of the cloud of blood, where his senses wereclear, his mood changed. His belly was distended as if he was pregnant,and his skin was stretched as tight as steel. He grew fat and happy. Hismind grew sleepy. He also became horny, but too satiated to do anythingabout it. He didn't sense any females nearby, anyway. He just cruised asslowly as he could while maintaining airflow over his gills. Helollygagged in the deep, where it was nice and cool, where it was dark.

I decided now was a good time to retreat. I pulled away from the shark.My conscience sped through the water and plunged into my body. I waslying on the deck of the pool compartment, with my head on a pillow andmy hands at my sides. A nice leg was stretched out in front of me. Mybody felt numb, as if it was asleep.

I picked up my head. The leg was attached to Audra. "Make sure no onetries to act friendly with the shark," I said, "I'm back."

It turned out to be a good thing that I did the mind-control trick onthe last day we spent in California, because I was a complete wreck. Iwas nauseated, and my head pounded relentlessly. I was also in theblackest mood I could imagine. I was so down that I could barely liftmy head. I didn't even feel like eating. I didn't want to look at myfriends or talk to anyone. This whole mission felt stupid, I feltstupid, and the world did, as well. I even heard voices telling me thesethings, along with the idea that I should kill myself.

While everyone else just left me alone during transit, Ashlen and Audrakept me company, even if I was bitchy and didn't want them around. Theydidn't give up on me, though.

I had discovered a few human foods besides fruit that I not onlytolerated, but actually liked. One was Japanese-style dry green seaweed.The other was soup made from dry fish stock. Audra and Ashlen brought mesoup made from both ingredients. Even though I felt bitchy, I couldn'thelp but accept the food.

I finally had to talk, to share some of the pain I was feeling. Idescribed the situation to Audra and Ashlen. As I recovered, I decidedthat I had to limit the use of mind control. Audra theorized that myabilities were regulated by my physical mind, and that I was screwing upmy brain chemistry by overuse and subsequently falling into depression.She explained that the best natural use of mind control, in theevolutionary sense, would be self-defense. Thus, it was designed fortemporary use in contingencies, and not extended use.

I decided to never perform mind control again, or at least only for avery few moments. Not only had the psychic hangover had been physicallyand mentally intolerable, but the voice telling me to off myself was thelast straw. I had never had those feelings before, and I never wanted toexperience them again.

After I came out of the depression, Ashlen and Audra were my constantcompanions. During the long trip back, they essentially moved into thepool compartment. They taught me about the oceans, how the ecosystemworked, and about the geology of the ocean floor and its islands. Itbecame clear to me that our planet truly was far more blue than green. Igrilled them endlessly, and as they described the various waters and thewonders they held, I became restless to once again explore the ocean onmy own.

One day, during a stop to let me get some dinner and stretch my fin, Ireturned to the ship to find most of the crew escaping the hot weatherby taking a swim in the calm ocean. They were floating near one another,taking in the sun like a bunch of sea lions. I swam up from below andtickled Ashlen's feet before surfacing near her.

"Tail!" Jim shouted. "We were just talking about you."

"What about?" I signed. Ashlen spoke for me.

"About the film," Katerine said. "It's coming out very well."

"Good," I said. Lying in the water with everyone's face at my level wasa great equalizer. I often felt underfoot and uncomfortable on ship.

"We are only three days from home," Katerine said. "But honestly, thisis the best filming expedition I've ever been on. It's a gratifying tripsince to cap my career."

"You're not that old, ma'am," Hector said.

"Oh, I could be your mother, almost grandmother, and you're an old manyourself, undeniably! I'm gonna die soon, and I'm not sad to say it."

"Hard to think of dying at a moment like this," Julia said, her wordsstrangely cheerful. "Laying in the sun, no cares. I feel like I couldlive forever."

There was a murmur of agreement.

"I wish this trip would last forever," Ashlen said.

"It has been quite an experience," Jim said. "I'll sure as hell neverforget it. I sure as hell won't forget you," he said to me. "And I hopethis isn't the last time we work together."

We were nearing port. Audra continued with her lessons. She wascontinuing to teach me about coral reefs, and she mentioned 'artificialreefs.'

"What's that?" I asked.

"An artificial reef is one in which an object, like a large ship, issunk with the purpose of providing a foundation on which a reef cangrow. Of course, reefs and ships go way back, since ships historicallyfoundered on them, especially during the golden age of sail."

"Golden age of sail?" I asked.

"Yes, before steam ships were invented, sailing ships were used all overthe world. But exploration wasn't complete. Countless ships went down onreefs. Especially in the Carribean."

"Is that the era of pirates, and lost treasure?" I asked.

"Part of it, yes."

"How much treasure is still lost in the ocean?"

"Uh, probably billions of dollars worth. For centuries, there was a non-stop train of galleons transporting the riches of the Americas back toEurope. Hundreds of ships were lost."

"You have a funny look on your face, Ytha," Ashlen said.

"Yeah," I signed. "Remember when you said, the other day, that you wishthis trip could last forever?"

She nodded.

"Well it can. We can't make endless movies. That'll get boring. But wecan start a recovery company. I'll be the one who finds everything, andyou guys and the others can be the ones who recover it. It'll be aperfect team."

"This is true," Ashlen said. "Wow, I'm in!"

Audra was pensive. "Ytha, have you ever considered what will happenafter this movie is released?"

I shrugged. "We'll make some money?"

She looked doubtful. "I think there's been some, ah, what did Jim callit? Target fixation. We've all had it."

"How so?" I asked.

"No one has considered the impact this movie may have. If people areconvinced that we filmed a real mermaid, which they no doubt will be,the authorities may want to ask us questions. They may want us to bringyou to them. And, well, in the current climate in this country, whateverthe government wants, it gets."

I realized she was right.

"So, I'll have to lay low after this," I said.

"Not only that," Audra said, "but I've given up on trying to find outabout you, about studying you. I don't want to know anything about you,because I really fear that if I do, someone will want to get it out ofme. Honestly, we may never be able to meet again."

I shook my head. "The government's not like that," I said. "It can't bethat bad."

She looked at me. "I don't think you realize how unique you are, and howmuch of an advantage your capabilities present for the military. Mindcontrol, telepathy, underwater breathing, sonar These things will beof interest to the powerful."

"The navy has a history of using wildlife," Ashlen said. "There's afacility for it in San Diego. They use dolphins to recover munitions, tofind mines, even to defend harbors from frogmen."

"I'm not an animal, I'm not wildlife," I said. "I'm not a dolphin, or aseal."

"I'm not saying that," Ashlen said. "Even if others know that, theymight not care."

I was in disbelief. "How could they control me, even if they had me?Once I'm in the water, I'd be gone."

"That's easy," Audra said. "The solution to that would be to tag youwith something that can cause pain or even death via remote control.Besides that, you'd be more useful as a study object. The first priorityof anyone who coveted your abilities would be to learn how to replicatethem. The way biotechnology is now, even cloning you for mass productionis a possibility."

"But what about 'hiding in the open,'" I said. "If this film is sopopular that I become an icon, I could be safe due to politics."

Ashlen and Audra exchanged glances. "I don't know," Audra said. "It'snot like anyone is going to be able to report you missing. If you weretaken and squirreled away from the public, the government has plausibledeniability. Without proof they did something, there'd be no publicsentiment for your release."

"Julia and I discussed this," I said. "I don't think it's going to bemuch of a big deal."

"Frankly," Audra said, "Julia either hasn't considered this, or shedidn't want to consider this."

I was growing angry. "How much did you know about me before you signedon for this film?" I asked.

"Zero," they both said. "We didn't know anything until we signedconfidentiality agreements witnessed by a lawyer, then another one whenwe got on ship."

"Why'd you join?" I asked.

"We were promised something unique by a reputable film producer, andunheard of pay, up-front," Audra said. "So, we didn't ask too manyquestions."

"It was almost too good to be true," Ashlen said. She signed to me andwinked: "Still is."

I was angry. Audra was right, we had had target fixation. Once this filmwas out, what would the real ramifications be?

"I'll always be ok," I signed. "I can live free, anywhere in the world,with no contact with civilizations. But what about you and the others?"

Audra shrugged. "I'm wondering that myself."

_What a drag,_ I thought. I felt nave, and even wondered if Julia hadtaken advantage of that. But it was speculation. We shouldn't dwell ontheories about negative outcomes.

"Hey," I said to Audra. "I wouldn't share this with just anyone. But bynow you'll believe what I have to say. Want to hear what I heard fromthe whale?"

Audra brightened. "Of course."

"I have to warn you, it's pretty far-out. But I swear I'm not makingthis up."

"Ok."

"That whale, sperm whale I know it's called, now, well I realized itsintelligence and creativity are far greater than our own. Immeasurablygreater. You told me that their brains are about five times larger thana human's, and it shows.

"Anyway, in that brain are maps of the oceans. And, I don't mean maps inthe sense that we see them. Their maps are kind of hard to explain. Theysee the world as not a globe, but a three-dimensional space in which thetops and bottoms connect in a spatial loop. The maps are memories ofhow their sonar clicks from the bottom, and even how well it movesthrough the water. They're memories of where food is, about thetemperature, current, and viscosity, and even salinity of the water.They remember places they have never been, because the memory is passeddown from their ancestors. And not only that, but they know how theworld was long, long ago, so long ago that there was less ocean, whenthe northern pole didn't have access at the Bearing Straight, and beforethat, when there was no Mediterranean. One day, the Atlantic brokethrough the connection between Europe and Africa, and a new ocean wasformed almost overnight."

Ashlen jumped in. "If they are so creative and intelligent, why don'tthey have tools? Why don't they express themselves the way we do?"

"They do," I said. "But they do it in the realm of thought. The powersthat I've shown you two are possessed by the whales, but magnified manytimes. They have access to a world that I couldn't quite understand. Iunderstood it when the whale talked to me, but that was because I wassharing his mind with him. I didn't understand at first, but now I'mstarting to. You see, they are able to conceive of things with far morepower than we can. Art, for example, is a medium of communication. Itcan transcend language and give you access to someone's mind. It's ameans of expressing oneself beyond the limits set by language and ourbodies. If all human beings were telepathic, and could share experiencedirectly, without barriers, there would be no need for art. If humanshad instant access to the plane of thought

"Plane of thought?" Audra asked.

"Yes, it's, well it's at a different level of existence that we can'tfully access. But, it contains all knowledge. And, I mean _all_knowledge. If we had access to it, there'd be no need for education,etc."

"Ok," Ashlen said. "So, if they are that intelligent, why don't they actmore creatively? Why don't they act as a human civilization would, toextend mortality, to adapt the world to themselves?"

"That's one of the things I wondered, too," I said. "The reason is, isthat they are on this planet, in this sphere of reality, for a veryspecific goal, and that goal is to experience the universe in a limitedform, in a comprehensive form."

"Comprehensive?" Audra asked.

"Yes. Existing as energy, without individuality, without an ego, onlygives you a partial look at the universe. Thus, intelligence is drawn toa higher level of energy, where there is scarcity and rules ofconservation in effect, our universe. Substance without form isincomplete. Though form, in the shape of life on thisstrata of energy,is limited, it provides a window onto the universe that cannot beappreciated at higher levels or energy, where there is lessorganization.

"So, you see, they are not concerned with death. Civilization is man'seffort to combat the effects of the natural world. It is tenuous andfleeting. The whales are at peace with the dangers of life here. Theyare not as afraid of death as we are, because they are infinitely awarethat they are here temporarily. Thus, they make no efforts to build acivilization. Of course, they are also far better adapted to life thanwe are. If it wasn't for civilization, mankind would be far from thedominant species here."

"Well," Audra said, "are they concerned with their own existence as aspecies?"

"No," I said. "Not to the point that they would combat humans. Ourintrusion on their lives is temporary. Even if they are made extinct,there are infinite worlds in this universe on which whales live, orwhere life in its many forms exists. And in the blink of eternity's eye,this planet will be gone, anyway. If life on this planet is diminished,the universe doesn't notice. New worlds are born every day, and will be,until this universe collapses. Then, it'll start anew. Humans only hurtthemselves by making a species extinct. They rob their children of theworld's beauty."

Audra blinked at me. "Sounds like you have all the answers."

"I wish," I said. "I don't have all of them. I just have a fleetingglimpse of them. 'All the answers,' couldn't be communicated by someonetalking, even if they had a million lives. The sum knowledge of theuniverse cannot be appreciated at one time in the physical body. But,without the physical body, the answers aren't nearly so interesting."

"It sounds like what you're saying," Audra said, "is that the point oflife is merely a diversion, an adventure."

I pondered this. Communicating by signing, or using words, was a clumsymeans of sharing the knowledge that the whale bestowed upon me. I hadn'teven thought these thoughts through in the terms of language. They hadmerely been knowledge that my brain alone appreciated.

I shook my head. "I don't know," I said. "I'm not even sure if I'mcommunicating clearly. I can just say that I learned some things Iunderstand as truths, solid truths, from the whale. This is merely mypathetic attempt at sharing them with you."

Audra listened patiently. But Ashlen was looking at me strangely. Herface had an expression of awe and devotion, as if she could worship me.I felt chilled.

"To sum up," I said. "I just wanted to say, that I learned whales aresmart."

Audra yawned. "I'm going to hit the sack, girls."

"Goodnight," I said.

Audra left, and shut the hatch behind her. She didn't wonder why Ashlenwasn't following her. Our secret was one in name only. With the doorclosed, we were out of sight. Ashlen turned out the light. The sound ofher orgasms was cloaked by the ship's engines.

We lay together in a corner of the room on a sprawl of blankets. With myeyes adjusted to darkness, I could just see her hands moving.

"I love you," she said. "I never want to be without you."

"I know," I said.

"But I'm going to be, in just a couple days," she said. "You have totell me; how can I join you?"

"No," I said.

She pouted. She grew angry. "What am I going to do without you? I won'tbe able to stand it."

Her words tore at me. She was effective at getting what she wanted, butI was too inexperienced to realize what was happening. All I could thinkwas that I didn't want her to be hurt. I wanted her with me, too. Iwanted someone to share the ocean with me. I couldn't hang around somedingy port just to stay near _Deep Thinker_ and my access to friends. Icouldn't wait to get back into the wild.

Finally, I relented.

"There may be a way," I said. "But I can honestly not give a guaranteeit will work whatsoever."

She brightened. "How?" she asked.

"I have a necklace," I said. "It may serve as a conduit for powers thatwill grant you your wish. It may not. I don't know, as only I've wornit."

"Where is this thing?" she asked.

"It's hidden in a lagoon near Hawaii," I said. "After we reach port,I'll retrieve it."

"Will you!" she asked. She hugged me. She was elated.

"Yes, I said. "You can have it. I'll give it to you as a gift." I tookher head in my hands and looked her in the eye. "Ashlen, listen to me.Prepare yourself in two ways: make arrangements so that yourdisappearance from land won't hurt your loved ones, and steel yourselffor disappointment. I offer no guarantees it will work, and even fewerfor what to expect if it does."

The next day I awoke in my chair. Ashlen was sitting on the deck, legscrossed, her spine straight, her head even, with the backs of her handsresting on her knees, and her middle fingers and thumbs touching. Hereyes were closed.

She breathed deep, sucking in air for what seemed like a full minute.Then, she held her breath. I kept track with my watch. After sixminutes, she released the breath slowly and deliberately.

I tapped a railing to get her attention. She slowly opened her eyes.

"What is that you're doing?" I asked.

"Practicing," she said. "I do this every day for an hour. It's my owntechnique, derived from many methods, to grant control over my autonomicnervous system."

"You mean, breathing and heartbeat?"

"Yes," she said, smiling. "Want to feel something cool?"

"Yeah," I said. She came up to my chair and sat on the edge. She handedme her hand and directed me to take her pulse.

"Watch this," she said. She closed her eyes in concentration. I felt herpulse rate go slower and slower, until they were so slow and weak thatit didn't feel like she had a pulse at all.

I let go of her hand. "Amazing," I said. "How did you do that?"

"Well, it's taken about twenty-two years," she said. "The first time Iremember holding my breath to swim underwater was when I was aboutthree. My mum says that I was doing it before then, too. So, I as partof my efforts in holding my breath, I started to unconsciously gaininfluence over my heart rate. When I turned 12 and was starting seriouscompetition, my parents bought me a heart rate monitor. Training withthat allowed me to eventually slow it down to ten beats per minute. Onlytook fifteen years of practice to get there, though."

"Ten?" I asked. "How can you stay alive?"

"Well, I'm careful," she said. "I'm bordering on passing out at thatrate. But, if I'm absolutely still, I can stay conscious for as long asI can hold my breath. The core discipline of free diving iseconomization of oxygen. The human body can drop quite deep into oxygendebt and quickly recover. So, the chief goal is to maintain conscience,to limit oxygen consumption to the brain."

"Do you ever make yourself pass out?" I asked.

"Oh, not as much as I used to. The key is, just don't do it when you'reunderwater. When I pass out, my autonomic system puts my breathing andheart rate back up to normal, whether I'm in the water or in the air. Ithink I hit a plateau a few years back. Since then, I've just beenrefining myself. By now, I can calculate very closely the point at whichI will black out. And there's always the danger of random blackout either deepwater or shallow water blackouts. Overconfidence will kill."

Once again, I was astonished by her intensity. Swimming underwater hastruly been her calling in life!

"You're amazing," I said, to which she shrugged. "I thought the heartrate is automatic, not like breathing, but truly uncontrollable."

"Essentially, that's true. It's controlled by the parasympathic nervoussystem, under the autonomic. For the uninitiated, it truly isuncontrollable. The only control people traditionally have put on theirheart rate is when they are trying to calm themselves in a panickysituation, and even that attempt is auxiliary to a larger goal. To sumup, it can be done, it's just that most people have no desire to attemptit, so it's assumed that it's out of one's control."

"It looked like you were meditating," I said.

"Essentially. That's the key to controlling the body."

"Why?"

"You must concentrate to gain control of your body. Meditation is ameans of achieving focus by blocking out distractions. For me, over theyears, it's also gained a deep spiritual significance, as well."

"Can you teach me?" I asked.

"Of course! You just won't be able to sit cross-legged, of course."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "But being in the water is relaxing."

"I meditate there, as well," she said. "Just under the surface. I lie onmy back and hold my arms out, with my fingers connecting like this." Shemade the same gesture as before. I mimicked her.

"What is the point of keeping your fingers together?" I asked.

"I don't know. Looks cool? Seriously, you have to do something with yourhands, and that pose is traditional. At the least, holding them likethat just makes it look like your doing something, and it's more, Idon't know, dignified. I don't even notice myself doing it anymore."

"What do I think about when I do it?" I asked.

"For now, just concentrate on silencing your mind. Truly think ofnothing. Someone once said, 'Picture the sound of one hand clapping.'"

"Hmmm, that sums up silence pretty nicely."

I closed my eyes and did just as she advised. However, 'silence' in mymind lasted mere seconds, if that. I tried again, pushing away mentalpictures and thoughts that sprang up from nowhere. Again, silence wasfleeting.

However, those few seconds of silence resonated with me. Silence wassomething I'd learned to greatly appreciate during my time in thewilderness. Maybe it had always been something I'd appreciated. In thehuman world, I simply never had a time to learn that I liked it. Unlessit was late at night, there was never silence. Even when I was alone andthings were quiet, I'd turn on the radio or television.

"Try breath control, too," she said. "It's conducive to focusing. Justmake this sound as you exhale. Well, I guess you can only do it in thewater." She closed her eyes and as she exhaled, she let out a sound like"aaaumm," with deeper resonance than I thought the girl could muster.

"Thank you," I said. "I'm going to try this."

"You're welcome," Ashlen said.

"Ashlen," I asked, "you were meditating, and doing that bio thing "

"Biofeedback."

"Right, since you were little?"

"Yep."

"What about your friends? Did they understand?"

"Friends?" she asked, smiling in an odd way and looking toward thestern. "No, well, I had friends, but they were just kids I knew one-on-one. I got picked on because I was quiet. I didn't fit into any cliques.School is Darwinian and cruel. I was glad to become an adult. I alwaysfelt like one, anyway."

Ashlen sounded a lot like my sister. I wanted to tell her this, andexplain how much her life differed from mine. I wanted to describe how Ihad come to realize lately that I appreciated all she and Audra wereteaching me. There was so much for me to learn that I regretted notbeing more inquisitive. But then again, I had liked school. I had donewell in sports, which was key to doing well with my peers and having alot of friends. Perhaps I was lucky, since I'd had that experience, andnow I was seeing a new side to the world.

After two more days, we made anchor at the islands I called home, in theHawaiian National Preserve. It was time to wrap things up, and forgoodbyes, hopefully not final goodbyes. I was going to meet with Juliaagain so she could help me talk to my sister, and of course, I wouldmeet with Ashlen. I arranged for them to come to my home in threemonths, since I now knew that time in the wilderness had almost nomeaning for me, and I didn't want to be disappointed with their visit ifit happened during something fun, like a particularly good stretch ofweather. I also hoped that a lengthy break would give Ashlen plenty oftime to decide whether or not she wanted to become like me.

As I was wrapping up plans with Julia and Ashlen, Jim and Hector startedbringing gear into the bay.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Oh, we're going to show you what we have so far," Julia said.

"The film?"

She nodded.

"They've been working on this in secret for so long, I wanna beconvinced we really have a film," Jim said.

A white sheet was hung on the aft bulkhead. Chairs were brought in, andsomeone made popcorn. I tried it, and found it wasn't bad if it wasunbuttered and heavy with sea salt.

The whole crew gathered. The lights were turned out, and the film wasshot from a digital projector. The film wasn't finalized. There weretimestamps running in the corners and segues were rudimentary. The titlescreens were going to get better graphics, Julia explained, and the filmwas silent. It was to be accompanied by a yet-to-be composed score.

_The Mermaid and Her World_ was the title. Part one was _The Mermaid._ Iwas shocked to see myself on screen. I blushed, and couldn't stopblushing, as I realized that there I was, naked as the day I was born,for all the world to see. However, after a few minutes I found myselfdrawn into the silent story. I had my doubts as to how a movie with noplot, just visuals of me swimming, would be interesting, but Katerineknew her stuff! It started out with me swimming out of the blue, thenfocused on my speed and abilities. Ashlen was drawn into the picture,and things took on a new light. There were occasional glimpses of thefilm crew. Part one ended with Ashlen and I playing with the dolphins,then I swam down, way down into the black.

Part two opened on the blackness with the words _Her World_. From out ofthe black came the sperm whale I had filmed coming up from the deep. Itconcentrated on the whale footage, then moved on to lighter fair, stuffthat I or the crew had filmed. I had caught a group of sea snakesmating, some manta rays flapping their wings through the water, amontage of coral reef fish light stuff. Then the camera concentratedon the sun through the water, and when it turned, the audience switchedfrom the azure deep Pacific to the emerald Californian coast. We starteddeep in a kelp forest, and rose through its layers to the surface, whereseals were playing. It went back to the deep, and I saw my alter-ego,the great white, fade in from the depths.

This was the part that interested me most. Of course, I'd _been_ a greatwhite, but I'd never been as close to a great white as my friends hadbeen.

The shots jumped to me, floating in the water as if asleep, hovering insunlit waters below the camera. It cut back to the shark rolling pastKaterine, then to a close-up of my face. I realized with someembarrassment that they'd used my body as a prop while I'd occupied theshark, but it really didn't matter. The imaging suggested that I'd beencontrolling the shark without being explicit. I realized that we hadn'tdiscussed the extent to which my abilities would be presented to thepublic. But in my mind, my control over the animal seemed ambiguous, soI guess it worked.

The scenes of the shark were sympathetic. It showed it swimming, huntingthrough the kelp forests, swimming and rolling with Ashlen and the otherfilmmakers. This footage balanced what came next the sea lion killing.They caught the kills with cameras both above and below water. But eventhough it didn't spare any gory details, it wasn't any worse thanfootage of lions taking down a gazelle. I felt it was a fairrepresentation of the shark that showed the ocean's apex predator at itsfinest without demonizing it.

"That is all," Katerine said.

I tapped Ashlen for a translation and spoke:

"Well," I asked. "Do you think the shark footage is too cliche?"

There was a moment of silence before the room filled with laughter.

After a long round of goodbyes and promises to meet again, I slippedinto the water with much relief. _Deep Thinker_ steamed on. Ashlen,Audra, Katerine, Julia, and Jim and Hector waved from the stern. I wavedback. They departed one by one, but Ashlen hung on until the ship wentout of sight, then went over the horizon.

It felt odd to be alone. It seemed like I had to do something. But myschedule was em