Men’s Golf Fellowship

Therefore,ifanyoneisinChrist,thenewcreationhascome:Theoldhasgone,thenewishere!

2Cor.5:17

GrowinginFaithwithGolfFriends

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MGFFellowshipGroupLeader’sManual

SectionI–AboutMen’sGolfFellowship(MGF)

TheMGFMission 3

MGFinSummary 3

HowWeCametoBe 3

OurGuidingPrinciples 5

WhatWeAre 6

WhatWeAreNot 6

TheValuesWeHoldClose 7

HowWeDoWhatWeDo 8

SectionII–OrganizingMGFFellowshipGroups

TheNatureofaFellowshipGroup 9

FirstStepsWhenStartingaFellowshipGroup 9

FellowshipGroupLeaderProfile 10

NextStepsAfterStartingaFellowshipGroup 11

FellowshipGroupTopicsandMaterials 12

SectionIII–FellowshipGroupMeetingGuidelines 13

SectionIV–RunningFellowshipGroupMeetings

FormatofaFellowshipGroupmeeting 15

SizeoftheGroup 16

When,WhereandHowLongToMeet 16

Things,WhichCanCauseaGroupToFail 16

OtherSuggestions 17

SectionV-ServingtheClubCommunity 19

AppendixA–ExamplesofIntroductoryMeetingInvitations 20

AppendixB–ExamplesofE-MailedMeetingReminders 23

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I.AboutMen’sGolfFellowship

THEMGFMISSION

WhatisMen’sGolfFellowship?

Men’sGolfFellowship (MGF)was formed in2003 tohelpaddress thespiritualneedsofgolffriends.OurfriendsareopentolearningaboutapersonalrelationshipwithGod,andwanttoexplorequestionsrelatedtotheirfaith,butdon’tnecessarilyhaveaforumtodoso.MGFprovidesthatopportunity.

WhatisOurMission?

Ourmissionistocreateopportunitiesforgolffriendsthroughoutthecountrytohelpeachothermake Christ the central part of their personal and professional lives. Ourmotto,GrowinginFaithWithGolfFriends,capturesourmission.

MGFINSUMMARY

Someofourgolf friendsare less inclined toreflectonanoften-neglectedsubject that isimportant to all of us: where we stand with God. Men’s Golf Fellowship provides acomfortableandenjoyablesettingforfriendstoheareachothertalkabouttheirlifeandfaith, and to grow personally and spiritually in the process. While we are a Christianorganization,theintentofMGFistoengageallmen—frommenoflittleornofaithtomenofmaturefaith—tohelpthemenjoythefellowshipofothers.MGFisoftena“firststep”formentobegintheirfaithjourney.Knowingthis,weconsiderMGFa“FirstTouch”ministryandhavedesignedourapproachaccordingly.Wewelcomeallmen,golfersornot.

HOWMGFCAMETOBE

Men’sGolfFellowshipwasfoundedin2003bySteveSilverinanefforttomergetwoofthepassionsofhislife:hisloveofgolfandhisloveoftheLord.Hehadfriendsinbothspheres,but there was little overlap. Golf was fun, but faith was more serious. Conversationsaround golf were natural, spontaneous and enjoyable and new friendships were easilymade.Conversationsaroundfaithweremoreguardedanddifficult,andweren’taseasily

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formed. Steve invited ten Christian golf friends and acquaintances tomeetwith him toexplorehowtobringtheseworldstogether.

Whatemerged from theirdiscussionswasMen’sGolfFellowship—aprogram thatwouldbring men from both spheres together in a common setting that promoted enjoyablefellowshiparoundthecombinedthemesofgolfandfaith.Theideawastohaveabreakfastmeeting,givingmenachancetohavesomefellowshipandhearagoodpresentationfromsomeonewithwhom themen could relate. Each of the original tenmenwere asked toinvitetenoftheirfriendsandsoonMGFwasonitsway.

ThefirstmeetingofMGFtookplaceinNaples,Floridaandattractedabout100men.TodayMen’sGolfFellowshipincludesmanymeninMGFchaptersaroundthecountry,withnewchaptersstartingeachyear.

Through the years,Men’s Golf Fellowship has featured outstanding speakers.Menwhohave distinguished themselves in their careers are invited to speak with one simplerequest:“Talkaboutyourcareer,talkaboutyourlifeandtalkaboutyourfaith”.Prominentprofessional golfers, corporate executives, political and military leaders, writers,entrepreneursandmeninotherfieldsaddressourchaptersyearly.

Two things thatallof thespeakershave incommonare:Theyhaveachievedsuccess invarying degrees; and they are comfortable in talking about their faith. It is this secondfactor,mentalkingabouttheirfaith,whichistheuniquestrengthofMGF.

A key step in the evolution of MGF was the decision to have the speakers’ talksprofessionallyvideo-tapedandeditedforuseasdiscussiontopics/startersbygolffriendsmeeting together in their individual clubs (MGFFellowshipGroups).Theseare safeandcomfortableenvironmentsformenwhohavefaithquestionsandadesiretoparticipateinandcontributetohearingdiscussionsaboutthechallengesandopportunitiesfacingthemandhowtheirfaithcanplayarole.

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OURGUIDINGPRINCIPLES

MGFchaptersareguidedbyafewsimpleprinciples:

Weengagea“firsttouch”approach—KnowingthatMGFisa“firststep”formanyofourfriendsinexploringapersonalrelationshipwithChrist,wearesensitivetowheretheyareinallthatwedo.

Allmenarewelcome—Whetherornottheyaregolfers.

MGFisasafeplace—“Whatissaidherestayshere.”

Wemeetinneutralground—Countryclubsandotherquietandprivatesettings.We are self-sustaining—There are no dues or fees to be a “member,” and we don’tproactivelyseekdonations.Whatsupportwedoreceivecomesfromunsolicitedofferstohelp.Weare amovement—WeviewMGFmoreasamovement, thanas formalorganizationwithmanyrules,regulationsandprotocols.Allourleadershipcomesfromourranks—Whilesomechurchleadersandpastorsmayattend, they are not the leaders of any MGF chapters and don’t lead MGF FellowshipGroups.We are all volunteer—While leadership is essential, no one in MGF receivescompensation.

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WHATWEARE

MGF creates a placewhere guys can just be.Noone cares about your credentials.Hereguys can grow in friendship with others, share their stories, their personal challenges,their lives. It iswhereaguycanprocesswherehe isandbringbetterperspectivetohislife.

IfyouweretoaskwhatistheDNAofMGF,itisreallyallaboutlifestories—simply,thatMGFencouragesmentosharetheirpersonaljourney.

By now it should be clear thatMGF is verymuch about finding your identity and youridentityisnotwhatyoudoordidfora living.MGFisnotaboutperformance.It isaboutwhoyouareasaman.

We have seen that as aman grows in strong friendships, as he can be transparent andtrusted, and has a growing relationship with the Lord—he has obtained the essentialessenceofalifewell-livedfortheLord.

MGFchaptersarefocusedonhelpingmentoknowwhotheyareandencouragingthemtogrowintheirfaith.

WHATWEARENOT

SomefolkshavefounditinstructivetoconsiderwhatMGFisNOT:

Wearenotamen’sprogramfromachurchoranydenomination.

We are not a Bible Study—although many MGF men do read the Bible, andscriptureisoftenreferencedtoilluminateourconversations.

Wearenotaprayermeeting—althoughweencouragemen topraywithand foreachother.

Wearenotacounselingservice—althoughthereisnodoubtwehavemanystoriesofguys’livesbeingchangedforthebetter.

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THEVALUESWEHOLDCLOSE

MGFhasbeeninspiredandsteadiedbyacommitmenttocertainCoreValues:

“FirstTouch”Approach—AtreasuredattributeofMGFisthatweengagetogetherwithone common purpose…to grow in faith with golf friends.This entails involving men ofvarying levelsofexposure to,perspectiveonandexperiencewithChristianity.Thus,weare sensitive to ensuring that the language we use and the conversations we have arecomfortableandproductiveforall,andbynomeansexcludeany.Friendship—Friendship for MGF is really the start of a journey of faith to a kind ofwholeness that is, at once, discovery and transformation—deepening friendship withothermenandwithJesus.

Safety&Trust—MGF isasafeplacewherewe figureitout,supporteachotherandtalkthingsthrough.WhatissaidatMGFstaysatMGF.

Authenticity & Vulnerability—Authenticity is being honest about where you are.Vulnerabilitygoesonestepfartherandallowsotherguys intoyour lifeandinvitestheirinvolvement.Itispermissiontospeakintoyourlife.

By Men, For Men—AtMGF, we prefer to talk about our fears, failures, problems andbreakthroughs with other men who know exactly what we’re going through and areencouraging.

Family Relationships As Primary—In MGF, we believe that our effectiveness ashusbands, fathers, sons and grandfathers informs and influences all other relationships.Whileoftenthehardesttofigureoutandget“right,”weplacealotofemphasisonhelpingeachotherbecomesuccessfulintheseprimaryrelationships.

HumilityAboveAll—WehaveyettomeetamaninMGFwhereprideisn’ttheirgreatestenemy.InMGF,weseektorecognizeandbreakdownprideinourselvesbydiscussingitsmanymanifestationsinourlives,andhowwe’readdressingandovercomingit—andinsodoingenhanceallofourrelationships.

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HOWWEDOWHATWEDO

Men’s Golf Fellowship consists of Chapters and Fellowship Groups. Chapters arestructuredgeographically (citiesor regions around the country) andentail a leadershipteamcommittedtomaintainingMGF’s“guidingprinciples”and“corevalues.”FellowshipGroupsaresmallergroupswithinchapters,whichmeetregularlyinmembers’clubsorinotherprivate/comfortablesettings.Followingarebriefdescriptionsofboth.

MGFChapters

MGFchaptersaretheheartbeatofwhatwedo.Thesearewheremenmeetatscheduledintervals to hear a live or videotaped MGF speaker who shares a personal story thatchallengesandgives insight into thekindsofreal-lifesituationsmanymenare facing.Abreakfastorothermealisalmostalwaysapartofthechaptermeeting.

Chaptermeetingsareaplacewhereguysenjoyeachother’scompanyandbegintolearnhowtosupporteachotherwhenandwhereitmattersmost.TheyarewheremencometorecognizeagreaterneedforothersandfortheLord.

For more information about MGF Chapters, refer to the MGF Chapter Playbook. ThebalanceofthismanualaddressesleadingMGFFellowshipGroups.

MGFFellowshipGroups

WhenMGFchaptersgetgoing,somethinguniquehappens:smallergroupsofgolffriendsexperienceadeeperlevelofcaringforeachother.MGFchapter leadersencouragethesesmallerclustersof“golffriends”tomeetinFellowshipGroups.

Itiswithinthesemoreintimategroupsofguys(perhaps8-12men)thatonereallygetsclose-knit. They meet on a regular basis and use MGF videos/discussion materials, orother resources to facilitate their conversations. Fellowship Groups are for men whopursuebeingauthenticandwhowantotherstoholdthemtothatstandard.Itisherethatthe walls break down, more meaningful friendships come together, and stronger faithformationtakesplace.

Some chapters choose to conduct larger Fellowship Group meetings of 20–30 men,therebyeffectivelycombiningtheirChaptermeetingwiththeirFellowshipGroupmeeting.Thisisaperfectlyfine“hybrid”approachthatcanworkwell.

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II.OrganizingMGFFellowshipGroups

NatureofaFellowshipGroup

MGFFellowshipGroupsarethebestplaceformentogrowintheirfaith.Thatwillhappenwhen themeetings have honest faith discussions. Discussion is often generated by thevideocontentofMGFbreakfast/banquetspeakers,facilitatedbyMGF-prepareddiscussionguidesaroundthosetalks.Arelaxedandsafeplace,likeaquietroominaclubhouse,oramember’shomeisthepreferredlocationtomeet.

AFellowshipGroupisnotaBibleStudy,althoughgroupsoftenlookatthewisdomofferedbytheBibleonpracticalissues.Italsoisn’tacourseinreligionortheologyandMGFisnotaffiliated with any denomination (although we are unapologetically Christian). It isdefinitelynotagroupconfessional.Whilemembersof thegroupareencouragedtotakepartinthediscussions,participationisentirelyvoluntary.

Membersofthegrouparewelcometogotoanyofthesessionsanddon’tneedtomakeanon-goingcommitment.Theprogramisdesignedtoallowparticipantstoattendanyorallsessions without feeling that they have missed something by not attending previoussessions.Outoftownguestswhoarevisitingmembersarewelcometojointhememberinattendingthegroupduringtheirvisit.

Animportantcommitmentthateachofthemenmakestoeachotheristhatalldiscussionsremainprivate.Asaresult,levelsoftrustandconfidencearedevelopedovertimewhichenhancesandenrichesrelationshipsbetweenthemen.

FirstStepsWhenStartingaFellowshipGroup

An MGF Fellowship Group will only be successful if a strong and dedicated leader isinvolvedduringitsformation.Leadershipcanbeoneortwomenofmaturefaithwhohavea sound understanding of the Bible. (See “Fellowship Group Leader Profile” below).AlthoughDiscussionGroupsarenotBiblestudies,theyareBible-basedandthediscussionleaders need to be comfortable with anchoring discussion topics in Biblical terms.Fellowship Groups sprout naturally from the MGF Chapter breakfasts/banquets, butstrong leadership is required to put them together. Some suggestions for prospectiveleaderswhenstartingagroupare:

1. Typically,groupsformatprivategolfclubs,buttheydon’tneedtobeaffiliatedwithclubsandtheconceptisapplicabletoothergroupswheremenknow,playorworktogether.

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2. Findatleastoneotherperson(orateamof3-5)whohasasolidfaithfoundationtosupportthestartup,includingassistancewithrecruitinganddecision-making.

3. MeetwithexistingMGFFellowshipGroup leadersand learnfromtheirexperienceandsuggestions.

5. AttendexistingMGFFellowshipGroupmeetingsofoneormoregroupstogetafeelforthegroupinaction.

6. BecomearegularattenderoftheMGFChapterbreakfasts/banquets.

7. BecomefamiliarizedwiththeMGFFellowshipGroupLeader’sManual.

8. Request thatanMGFFellowshipgroupcoachbeappointed toassistyouandyourgroup.

9. Review the www.mensgolffellowshp.com web site to learn more about MGF—itspurposes,inspirationandmission;andtoviewdiscussionresources.

FellowshipGroupLeaderProfile • Influenceinclubandworkswellwithothers.

• AhearttoreachmenforChrist,butseeker-sensitive.

• Values“firsttouch”natureofMGFgroups.

• Goodlistener—valueseachman’scurrentjourney.

• Willingnessandabilitytodedicatetime.

• ReceptivetocoachingfromMGFadvisors.

• Willingtoshareleadershipwithothersinthegroup.

• ReceptivetoaligningwithotherMGFclubleaders.

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NextStepsAfterStartingaFellowshipGroup

Onceleadershipisinplaceandafewprospectivemembershavebeenidentified,itwillbetimetomakeawidergroupofmenintheclubawarethatanMGFFellowshipisforming.InformthemregardingthenatureofMGFandwhatthenewgroupwill looklikeandletthemknowthattheyarewelcometojointheinitialgroupofmembers.Hereareideastohelpingettingthenewgroupformed:

1. LetclubofficialsknowofyourintenttoformanMGFFellowshipgroup.

2. Takeadvantageofanyassistancetheclub’sadministrativestaffcanofferinhelpingyoutomakemembershipmailingsandbulletinplacementstotargetalloftheclubmembers.

3. Scheduleakick-offmeetingandincludethegroup’sdesignatedcoach.

4. Since it’s likely thatsomeof themenwillnotknoweachother,a largepartof thefirstmeetingshouldbedevotedtogettingacquainted.Haveeachmantelltheirstory–wheretheyhavelived,whattheydidintheircareers,whattheydotoenjoytheirleisuretime,alittleabouttheirfaithjourney.

5. Continuallyremindthemen“whatissaidinthegroup,staysinthegroup”.Untilthemenfullybelievethatandtrusteachother,theywillnevershareatadeeperlevel.Leaderscanmodeltrustbybeingthefirsttosharedeepissues. Askingforprayerrequests to accompany the opening prayer also goes a longway toward buildinggrouptrust.

6. By the second meeting you will want to get some discussion going. One of theeasiest,andsafestwaystodothisistouseoneoftheMGFDiscussionvideos(andrelated discussion guides). Also encourage the members to send content/makesuggestionsaboutwhattheywouldliketodiscuss.

7. Oncethegroupbeginstomeetregularly,therewillbemenwhojointhegroupforthefirsttime.Theleadercaninvitethenewcomertotellhisstory.Thatwillbegreatforhimandfortheothermembers.

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FellowshipGroupTopicsandMaterials

WestronglyrecommendthatnewFellowshipGroupsutilizetheMGFspeakervideos(allprofessionallyproduced fromMGFChaptermeetings)andassociated leader/participantdiscussion guides on the RESOURCES page of the MGF website athttps://mensgolffellowship.com/resources/. These are added to each year, therebyprovidingforacontinuouslyrichinventoryofcoreMGFdiscussioncontentconnectedtoourChaptersettings.

These speaker videos have been carefully selected, developed and tested to effectivelyfacilitateinterestingandmeaningfuldiscussionsbasedonthespeakers’talkthemes.SomevideoscanbecoveredinasingleonehoursessionwhileothersmighttakeuptwooreventhreeFellowshipGroupmeetings.

Thebestmethodhasproventobetohaveparticipantsviewthevideosduringtheweekpreceding the meeting and print out, review and bring the discussion guides to themeeting prepared to share their reactions and comments with the group. This small“homework”assignmentwillkeepeveryoneon thesamepage in themeetingandmakeforverylivelyandsubstantiveconversations.

Asgroupsmature,theymaywishtoperiodicallydepartfromtheMGFvideosandutilizeother video series’ and discussion materials appropriate for the group. While there isobviously a practically endless supply of these from many sources, theMGF NationalResources TeamwillassistyourChapter inreviewing thoseyou’reconsideringand/orpointingyoutoothers—someofwhichhavebeendevelopedandeffectivelyusedbyotherMGFFellowshipGroups.

These are also available for your consideration on the RESOURCES page of the MGFwebsitefromtheOTHERDISCUSSIONRESOURCESlink.WeregularlyaddtotheseontheMGFwebsite.

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III.FellowshipGroupMeetingGuidelines

The following twelve principles/guidelines have beendevelopedover years of trial anderror and reflect our experience regardingwhatworks best. Following and adhering tothesewillincreasethelikelihoodofagroup’songoingsuccess.

1.Groupshouldhavea“core”groupofmembersThe initial organizationof a small group requires a concerted effort by severalmen.Coordinating the logistics isakeyresponsibilityandmustbeassumedbyparticularmembersof thegroup.Eventually, from thecoregroup,adiscussionleadermayemerge.

2.Discussionshouldbelimitedtoapproximately10–20membersThepower of the group is the development ofmeaningful friendships that arecreatedthroughthesharingofpersonalexperiencesandperspectives.Everymanattendingshouldhavetheopportunitytospeakonandaboutthetopic.Toobigofagroupmayprohibitadequatetimeforeachmembertocontribute.Also,toobigofagroupmaynotpromotetheintimacythatmakesthegroupeffective. Someclubs will attract more men than can be accommodated in a 10-20 mandiscussionformat.Inthese(fortunate)cases,a10-15minutetopicpresentationorMGFvideoshouldbegiven,followedbysmaller“breakout”groupsfacilitatedby core members. This format has been working very effectively for years inseverallargerclubs.

3.Groupsessionshouldlastonlyonehour,onceaweekoreveryotherweekEventhoughsomeofthemenmayberetired,theGroupshouldrespectthatmenstillhavetimecommitments,evenifitisjustateetime.Budgetingjustonehouraweekismanageableandpredictableandthereforeappealing.

4.Groupshouldagreetoafixednumberofweekstomeet”Every routine, even thoughappealing,needsa vacation.A seasonal communitymakesthe“break”natural.Aspecifiedperiodalsomakestheinitialcommitmenttothegroupmorepalatableformenwhoareunsurewhethertheywillfindthegroupasbeneficialastheyhadhoped.

5.Groupmustagreetototalconfidentiality

Effectivegroupdynamicsinspirespersonalandhonestsharing.Groupmembersmust be confident as they develop greater personal relationships with othermembersthatwhattheyshareisneverrepeatedoutsidethegroup.

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6.GroupshouldneverrefertoordiscussreligiousdoctrineReligioustraditionanddogmaofreligiousdenominationsandsectsshouldneverbe “promoted” by any member of the group. Discussion of denominationaldoctrineorbeliefscanpolarizethegroupmembers.

7.GroupshouldavoidthediscussionofpoliticsAlthough itmay seem the group has a similar political leaning, politics alwayscarries a risk of offending someone in the group. Politicswould seldom be anissueofthepresentedtopic.

8.Allmembersshouldavoid“preaching”Thegroupshouldbeaforumformemberstosharetheirthoughtsandfeelings.Itis not an opportunity for a member to attempt to convince or convert fellowmembers.Pontificatingalsocarriestheriskof“talkingdown”tothemembersofthegroup.

9.NomembershoulddominatediscussionAllmembersmustunderstandthatwhatothermembershavetosayisvaluabletothemandthegroup.Participationofallshouldbeencouraged.Oneopinionisnotmorevaluablethanthenext.Courtesyshouldprevail.

10.Membersshouldbeencouragedto“comewhenyoucan”

Membersshouldbewelcomedwhenevertheyarefreetoattend.Thediscussiononeweekisnotdependentonthediscussionofthepreviousweek.

11.Groupmembersshouldnotusethegroupforumforfundraising

MGFdoesnotundertakefundraising for itssupport.Thegroupshouldnotbeaforumforraisingfundsforamember’spersonalcharities.Pressuretocontributecouldmakemembersofthegroupuncomfortable.

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IV.RUNNINGFELLOWSHIPGROUPMEETINGS

FormatofaFellowshipGroupMeeting

WhatactuallyhappensinanyparticularFellowshipGroupcanvarysomewhatfromothergroups,dependingonthestyleof the leaderandthemakeupandinterestsof thegroup.Nevertheless,considerusingsomeofthefollowingideas:

1.Mostgroupsstartandendthemeetingwithaprayer,oftenbydifferentmenwhoareaskedandarecomfortableprayinginpublic,orjustsomeonewhovolunteers.Theprayermaygivethanksforthegathering;askforGod’shelpinguidingthegroupdiscussionandofferpetitionsformembersortheirfamiliesforsituationsthatareaconcern.

2.Oftenaleaderwillstartthemeetingwithanopenquestionlike:“sowhatisgoingoninyour life?”or “doesanyonehaveanything theywant to sharewith thegroup?”Menareencouragedtoshareanyquestionorproblemtheymayhavewithalifeorfaithissueandtothrowitouttothegroupforhelporinsight.Mencanalsobeaskedtosharepersonalnewswiththegroup,sothatthemenstayinformedandsupportive.

3.Formostgroupsitiscommonpracticetovalidatetheirdiscussionsbycheckingtoseewhat the Bible has to say about a particular matter. The leader and members are notexpectedtobewalkingBibleencyclopedias,sodeferringtheanswertothefollowingweekisperfectlyacceptable.

4.Groupmembersotherthantheleadercanbeaskedtovolunteertoleadadiscussiononatopicoftheirchoice.Thiskeepsthemeetingfresh,promotesbroaderinvolvementandhelpsrevealthetalentsandinterestsofthegroupmembers.

5. Once the group has been established for awhile, themembersmay feel comfortablechallengingeachothertoweeklygoals,orsomeformofaccountabilityregardingissuesamembermightbestrugglingwith.Besuretofollowuponthestatusofissuesprocessedinpriormeetings.

6.Therehastobecompletetrustandconfidentialityandsoit is imperativethatwhat issaidinthediscussiongroup,staysinthegroup.

7.Encouragememberstohonorstart/stoptimesandencourage“buddylunches”withatleast one other member during each calendar month. These will allow for follow-onconversationsnotpermittedbymeetingtime-constraints.

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SizeoftheGroup

Theidealsizeofadiscussiongroupisabout8-12men,butsomegroupshavegrowntobeasmanyas20andstillseemtofunctionwellatthatlevel.Evengroupsassmallasthreetofive, function just fine if allmenare in regular attendance. Smaller groups canbemoreintimate, allowing men to be comfortable opening up and being vulnerable with theirfeelings.However, if a group is too small themembersmaybemissingouton thewidevarietyofideasthatcomefromagroupof8-12men.

When a group has grown to beyond 20 men, the format might change from being adiscussion involvingmostof thementomoreofa teachingstyle,wherethe leaderdoesmoreof the talking. Inorder toensure thatallof themenhaveanopportunity tosharethoughts theymay have relative to the subject, larger groups should consider breakingintosub-groupsof5-7menwhentheleaderhasfinishedhispresentationofthematerial.

When,WhereandHowLongtoMeet

Groupleaders,inconsultationwiththegroupmembers,needtodecideonthequestionsofwhen,whereandhowlongtomeet.SomeFellowshipGroupsmeetinthemorning,someintheevening.Somemeetforonehour,somemeetlonger.Somemeeteveryweek,yearround, while others meet for only three or four months during the season. Most MGFFellowship Groups meet at their clubs, but private homes, a community clubhouse, acondominium common room or convenient restaurants are also options. Some groupsplaygolfafterthemeeting.Onlythegroupcandeterminewhatbestmeetstheneedsofthemembers.

Things,WhichCanCauseaGrouptoFail

Havinginvestedallofthetimeandenergythatittakestogetagroupestablished,thelastthingwewant is toseethegroupfallapart forreasonsthatcouldhavebeenavoided.AgoodMGFFellowshipGroupleaderwillthereforebeconstantlywatchingforanythingthatcouldderailthegroup.Thesearesomeofthemostcommonthingsthatcouldcausethis:

1. Thingscangetstale.Perhapstheleaderhasbecometiredandisn’tspendingenoughtimeinhispreparation.Or,maybethegrouphasmadeapoorchoiceofdiscussionmaterialandthemenarelosinginterest.

2. Evenifthegroupisworkingwithgooddiscussionmaterial,don’tlettheseriesgoonfor too long. Vary thematerials and keep themeetings interesting and somewhatunpredictable,inagoodway.

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3. Personality conflicts can occur. The leader should resolve the issue quickly, ifpossible.Heshouldn’tignorethesituation.Itwilloftenonlygetworse.

4. Avoiddiscussionoftopicswherepersonalbiascangetinthewayofpurpose,suchas theology, politics, world problems, alternative life styles, etc. Often thesedamagingcommentscanbeginwithacarelessjoke.Theleadershouldbealerttothefirst indicationthat thediscussion isveering intodangerousterritoryandredirectthediscussion.

5. Sometimes one of the men will begin to dominate the discussion. When thathappens the leader should speak to theman in private.He could explain that theleadervaluestheinputoftheoffendingperson,butthatheisconcernedthatothersaren’tgettingachancetoparticipate.Theleadercouldevenasktheoffendertohelphimtogetothersinvolvedintheconversation,therebymakinghimfeel importanttothegroup.

6. Therecanbechallengestoleadership.Onesolutioncouldbeasharingofleadershipif personalities permit doing that. The group’s assigned coachmay be in the bestpositiontosuggestasolutionthatthewholegroupishappywith.Butitisimportanttorememberthatchangestoleadershipmustcomefromwithinthegroupitself.

7. Opinionsmay conflict regarding discussion topics. Groups need access to variety.Withvarietyitismorelikelythattheleadercansatisfytheneedsofallofthegroupmembers. If disagreements over discussion materials are a problem, the leadershould consult with his assigned coach andwith other group leaders to get newdiscussionideas.

OtherSuggestions 1. Communicating by email is an efficient and effective way to keep the group

connected. Meeting notices can be sent a few days in advance, mentioning thediscussion topic and providing any background information or “homework”assignmentneeded toprepare for thediscussion.Also,mencanbeencouraged toshareviaemailanythoughtsthatcometomindafterthediscussionhastakenplace.Havingsomeonetake/summarizenotesfromthediscussion(withoutdisclosinglifestories) can help keep the group together even when members have to miss ameeting. This can also be a tool for showing potentialmembers the types thingsbeingdiscussed.

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2. Groupsareencouragedtogettogethercasuallyoutsideofthegroupmeetingtohelpincreasebondingofbothmenand families.Golf, dinner, boating,movies,orotheractivities, along with activities that include families, are all worthwhile ways tofortify the group. Some groups have begun to incorporate service projects in andaround the community as well. When children or grandchildren are included, itbecomes a great teaching opportunity for young people who may not haveparticipatedinotherserviceprojects.

3. The skills required in being an effective discussion leader can be studied from avarietyof sources. If youhave little experience in leadingdiscussions, a reviewofthefundamentalsisagoodidea.YourMGFCoachorothergroupleadersareothergreatresources.Then,askforGod’shelp,getstarted,andyourconfidenceandstylewillimproveweekbyweek.

4. With all email communications to the group’s members consider includingsomething like the followingalong thebottomof theemail, like a footer, togetherwithalinktotheMGFwebsite:

GrowinginFaithWithGolfFriendswww.mensgolffellowship.com

5. Finally,andmostimportantly,makeeveryefforttoabsorb,reinforceandadheretothe Fellowship GroupMeeting Guidelines. These will keep the group on track andensureahighlysatisfyingexperienceforeveryone.

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V.ServingTheClubCommunity

Three words capture the purpose of Men’s Golf Fellowship: Presence, Christ andCommunity.ThepresenceofChrist iscultivatedandreflected inMGFdiscussiongroups.However, thereare those in thebroader clubcommunitywhoarehurtingphysically, infamily trials, andeven indeath.Discussiongroupmembers cangive thema call,dropahand-writtennote,orpersonallydropbytoseethemwiththeirpermission.Onbehalfofthegroupwecanassurethemofprayersupport.Wearethereforthem.

An illustration of this principle took place in one MGF discussion group recently. Anattendeehadbeenbattlingcancerforseveralyears.Hepassedawayrecently.Thefamilyrequested that one of the group’s men conduct the funeral. He was happy to do that.Twelveof thegroup’smentraveledhundredsofmiles toattendandsupport the family.Theword spread throughout the club community thatMen’s Fellowshipwas there in atimeoftrial.

Anotherincidentsurfacedrecently.AmaninanMGFclubcommunityisterminallyill.HedoesnotattendtheMGFdiscussiongroup.Agroupmemberheardabouthisconditionandplacedatelephonecall toconveyhisconcern.Attheendofthecall,heprayedwithhimoverthetelephone.Themanwasthrilledandgrateful.

MGFdiscussiongroupmembersarefaithfullythereforeachother.Yet,thegeniusoftheChristiancommunitytakesthislife-on-lifeinfluenceoutsidethegroup.Whetherit’sotherresidents, the clubmanagement or employeeswho serve us in golf, dining, grounds, orotherareas—weconstantlyseektoreachouttothem.

None of these relationships happen without a common relationship with Jesus. Heprovidedthegreatestexampleofservingotherswithoutexception.ItisHewerepresent.Ourpurpose is tohonorHim.MayHeenableustobecreativewitnesses forHimwithinourclubcommunities.

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AppendixA

Examples(1)ofIntroductoryMeetingInvitations_________________________________________________________________________________________________

INTRODUCTORYMEETING

A focusgrouphas formed toexplore thepossibilityof startingMen’sGolfFellowshipat(Club Name). Men’s Golf Fellowship was birthed in Naples in 2002 with the goal ofengagingmenindiscussiongroupstoexploretheirspiritual journeysandimportant lifeissuesfacingthematthisstageoflife.Someofusareinthe4thquarterandretiredfromsuccessful careers. What should our lives look like in retirement? Guysmay be in thesweet spot of life, struggling with unforeseen issues or somewhere in between. Manyclubshavestartedchaptersandmenaregatheringtolearn,shareandgrowtogether.

Let’stalkabout…

• Whatwouldyoudoifyoulostitall?• Haveyouevenwrestledwithforgivingyourself?• Whatkindof relationshipsdoyouhave in your family…wife, kids and siblings?Areyousatisfied?

• Howareyouinvestingyourtime,talents,andresources?What‘syourROI?• Doyoufeelyourlifehaspurpose?Whatisit?• Whathappenswhenyoudie?• Thelistisendless…

LearnmoreaboutMen’sGolfFellowshipatmgfnaples.com

FocusGroupLeaders:(LeadershipTeamNames&Numbers)

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Example(2)ofIntroductoryMeetingInvitations_________________________________________________________________________________________________

WELCOMEBACK!

For each of the last ten winter seasons, more than 50 (Club Name) men have met infellowshipeachTuesdaymorning.We look forward toseeingmanyofyoureturn in theNewYear.Wealsolookforwardtowelcomingnewmenwhoareinterestedinaweeklyexchangewith their fellowmembers,discussing thechallengesandopportunitiesweallfaceindailyliving.

WHATITIS?

One of the special qualities about (Club Name) is the sense of community we allshare. Men’s Golf Fellowship of (Club Name), which had its start ten seasons ago, hasplayedavital role inbuildingcommunitybyproviding themenof (ClubName)withanopportunitytomeetonaregularbasistomakenewfriendships,deepenrelationshipsandlistentothoughtfulperspectivesonthechallengesandopportunitieswefaceinourlives.These are accomplished through video or live presentations to the entiregroup. Generally, the presentations are followed by small group discussionswherewedelvefurther intothetopicofthedaybysharingrelevant lifeexperiences, thoughtsandideas.Groupdiscussionsremainprivateandovertimea levelof trustandconfidence isdevelopedthatenhancesandenrichestherelationshipsbetweenparticipants.

WHATITISNOT?

Men’sGolfFellowship isnotaBibleStudy,althoughBiblicalreferencesareoftenpartofthe presentations and discussions. It is not a course in religion or theology. It is not agroup confessional. While you are encouraged to participate in the group discussions,there is no pressure for you to share. It is non-denominational. Everyone is invitedwhetheryouhaveareligiousaffiliationornot.

WHATCANYOUEXPECTTHISSEASON?

Thisseasonourfocusison“MenWhoCareInACare-lessWorld.”Thistopicpromisestoinspireusall aswediscusshowwecanenrich livesby trulycaring forothers.Sessionswill illustrate howwe can improve our lives, our families and others by demonstratingspiritual, emotional and physical care through listening for needs, prayer, service andmore. One session will focus on the famous story of the Good Samaritan, where theSamaritangenerouslylivedbytheprinciple“what’smineisyoursandI’mhappytoshareit.”

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WHOISTHEGROUPLEADER?

Men’sGolfFellowshipof(ClubName)havebeenledbyfellowclubmembers(DiscussionLeaderNames).

WHAT’STHESCHEDULE/LOGISTICS?

Thisseasonwewillagainmeeton(DAY)mornings,beginningon(DATE)andrunthrough(DATE).Allsessionswillbefrom(TIME)inthe(ClubRoomName),exceptON(DATE).Itwill start at (TIME) with breakfast and will be in the Main Dining Room of theClubhouse. This is a greatway to catch upwith your friends andmeet newneighbors.Breakfastwillsimplybebilledtoyouraccount.

MUSTIATTENDALLSESSIONS?

Youarewelcometocometoanyofthesessionswithoutfeelingyouneedtomakeanon-going commitment. The program is designed to allow you to attend individual sessionswithoutfeelingthatyouhavemissedsomethingbynothavingattendedprevioussessions.Wearehappytohaveoutoftownguestswhoarevisitingyoucomeaswell.Wealsoinvitewivesforatleastonespecialsession.

WHATMUSTIDOIFIPLANONATTENDING?

WesincerelyhopethatyouwilljoinusforthefirstsessiononJanuary6th.WedoneedanRSVP if you plan to come to breakfast. PleaseRSVP to (Name) at the Clubhouse by(DATE).YouaremorethanwelcometoattendanyoralltheadditionalsessionsthroughMarch,without a reservation. It’s awonderfulway tomakenew friendsandenrichourlives!

WHOCANICONTACTIFIHAVEADDITIONALQUESTIONS?

ListofLeaderNames&Numbers

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AppendixB

ExamplesofE-MailedMeetingReminders_________________________________________________________________________________________________

MEN’SGOLFFELLOWSHIPOF(CLUBNAME)

Agroupofabout40menfrom(ClubName)havebeenmeetingtogetherduringthewintermonthsforthelastnineyearswiththepurposeofdeepeningourfriendshipsawayfromthegolfcoursewhilediscussingmanyofthechallengesthatmenfacetoday.Weuseourexperiences topromote learningand sharingaround topics important tomenusing theBibleasaguideinanondenominationalcontext.Weplantobeginanew12-weekseriesbeginningon(Date)andending(Date)Theweeklytopicswillcenteronopportunitiestoachieveaproductiveandfulfillinglife.

Wewould like to invite to you to share in ourThursday sessionsbeginning at (Time&Date). Bring a friend with you as we would like to see our group grow in 2015. Theweekly gatherings are open to all (CLUB NAME)members as well as all in the NaplesCommunity.Beassuredthatthewholeprogramisdesignedsoyoucancometoanyorallofthesessionsasyourschedulepermits.Ifyouhavefurtherquestion,pleasecontactanyofthecommitteethatislistedbelow.

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MEN’SGOLFFELLOWSHIPOF(CLUBNAME)

Ihopebynowyouhaveplaced(Date)onyourcalendarforoursecondofficialmeetingofMen’sGolfFellowship.WeplanonhavinganewMGFDVDtoviewwithadiscussiontimeafterward. We want you to invite others whom you think would benefit from thisfellowship.Aswebeginthisnewjourneypleasekeepinmindthefollowing:Asmen,weneedtoknowandspendtimewithothermen.Weneedtobeencouragedandsharpenedbylike-mindedguyswhoaresharing the journeywithus.Weneed toget toknoweachother,begin totrusteachotherandultimatelytowantthebestforeachother.Ibelievethisiscriticalforour own health as Christian men, as well as the health of our friendships, marriages,families,andchurch.