Meli’s Hatred for CostCo:

A History of Loathing

Presented by Melissa

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In the fall of 2008…

This is not me. It came up when I searched for “Office Manager” in Google.

I was a Marketing “Coordinator” for a small Oil and Gas firm. I put Coordinator in quotes because “coordinator” according to this company meant that I was also an Office Manager. Which I was willing to accept because I needed a job.

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Marketing “Coordinator” DutiesMy duties as Marketing“Coordinator”/Office

Managerincluded (in order of

importance): Filling the office kitchen

with snacksAnswering the phoneAssisting with Marketing

projectsWhy wouldn’t this be acceptable as office

snacks? And why is he looking at

her that way? 3

The List

The List to go to CostCo

included normal “office-y”

snacks:ChipsCookiesFruit That would be me, sir.

The schlep answering the phones.

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Suggestions

But every now and then someone would

write a suggestion on the board. And they were TERRIBLE. i.e.: Gluten-free cherry licoricePickle SPEARS (hard to find at

CostCo)Dunkin Donuts brand coffeeChili Lime Pop ChipsSugar-free Rolos 5

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The Weekly Run

So EVERY week I would

have to spend two hours

of my life trying to find

Gluten-free red licorice

at Costco.

This was my view for about 100 hours of my life.

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UnloadingBesides the unfortunate

experience of actually shopping, I had to unload the White Wonder, (filled to the brim with Gluten–free red licorice) by MYSELF.

This meant hauling boxes to the third floor, which took about thirty minutes.

Sometimes I was lucky enough to have someone hold the door open for me at the entrance.

Often times, I was not so lucky.

I don’t know what this is.

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My CoworkersMy perception of my coworkers began to change until I eventually began to view them as this…

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2008 and beyond…My hatred for Costco began to

grow and soon became a white hot ball of pure detest.

And like Darth Vader, I finally let my hatred flow through me.

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Thank you! Please let me know if you have

any questions.

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