Meekie Monthly, Issue 7 (August 2007)

8/14/2019 Meekie Monthly, Issue 7 (August 2007)

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Welcome to Meekie Monthly. If you have

experienced problems opening this magazine,please visit PC World and get yourself a better

computer.Oh. And theres a large picture of a woman in abikini on the front cover (in case youre at work

and your boss is watching you)

Royston


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MEEKIEMONTHLY Issue 7 August 2007

F R E E

I t s a s m a d a s a

b a d g e r

Inside:People with largeheads, people withsmall heads, people with medium sizedheads, people with

famous heads,

people with not sofamous heads,

ginger heads andmuch much more!

Pac-a-Macs Away!Bikinis On!

Yes we dont care if its pishing down were going to have a summer anyway!

S A Y N

O T O

K A G O

O L S

S A Y Y E S T O

B I K I N I S

SPECIAL SUMMER SPECIAL!


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Editors welcomeFor me, August reminds me of

being a child, growing up in BarryIsland, South Wales and in particular,the Barry Carnival.Years ago, in its halcyon days, the

Barry Carnival boasted over 100floats- articulated lorries dressedfrom top to bottom with bunting, andfull of people in fancy dress around aparticular theme. These days, its just

a Variety Sunshine coach with a fewkids waving Union Jacks out of theback window. Shame.

So in time honoured tradition this month, my familyare going to recreate a parade for ourselves in ourlarge country mansion. Ive bought myself astrapping Tarzan outfit and my surgically-enhancedwife Brenda has bought herself some tassles to puton the end of her enormous juggernauts. Meanwhile,my darling 16 year old daughter has offered to give ahand to help relieve the drivers and young Timmy

has set up a Coke stall for the local fete.Isnt it great to see the kids gettinginvolved?Have a great August. Editor

R o y st on MEEKIEMONTHLYMEEKIEMONTHLYMEEKIEMONTHLYMEEKIEMONTHLY Page 2Page 2Page 2Page 2

meekiemonthlyContact details:

[email protected]

Editor: Royston Butterscotch

Cover girl: Sabrina Lernawww.sabrina-lerna.com

Cover photo courtesy of Onyx Photographywww.onyxphotgraphy.com

Find us at www.meekiemonthly.com andwww.myspace.com/meekiemonthly

Meekie Monthly is a freesubscription-based E-Magazine.

To subscribe, email [email protected]

www.meekiemonthly.com

We take your privacy very seriously. Meekie Monthly is a free subscription based magazine and you can unsubscribe at any time by emailing

[email protected] , putting UNSUBSCRIBE in the Subject box. Wewon't sell or share your email address with anyone else and we will never ask you for any money. We may occasionally send you an update via this email

address. Meekie Monthly is sent as a pdf file, which opens with Adobe AcrobatReader. You can download this utility for free from www.adobe.com. We cannotaccept responsibility for any consequences relating to Meekie Monthly being

sent to work-based email addresses.


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ContentsIssue 7 August 2007

In this months Meekie Monthly:

5. Interesting facts about Le Tour de France6. Celebrity Showdown Kids TV Stars fight it out8. The BIG Interview with areal life celebrity!9. Letters page

12. Cover band13. The Lads Page Learnhow to head spin!14. Rugby World Cup Preview15. Boys problems

16. We speak to more celebs!20. A Flowchart Thing22. Fok knows22. Have a look yourself 26. Your horscopes28. Sport

The re s no I in Te am bu t

the re a re t wo in Corpora te

Bullshi t ting Ars e hole

Hu s s e in , Ne w p o r t

The Oo get me, Im sucha Diva Competition

As you know Meekie Monthly likes to askcelebrities daft questions and in mostcases, they respond in good humour.

Occasionally though, we get replies thatreally make our day. See if you can guess

which mega stars PA sent us this littlegem:

***** would not be able to participate in aninterview unless; you could offer a fee for his time,offer him an excusive interview asking more than 1question (therefore giving ***** an opportunity totalk about different things he is up to), publish the

address of his new websitecurrently in development and provide him with

proof of print.

He certainly wouldnt wish to answer just the onequestion you have posed Im afraid. Ive attached a

biog of ***** for your interest;

Thanks Regards,

Alan

Answer revealednext month!


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For our new readers.(both of them) ..

W h a t i s a m e e

k i e ?

MEEKIEMEEKIEMEEKIEMEEKIE MONTHLY Page 4Page 4Page 4Page 4

This is a real-lifephoto of a meekie

Meekie Fact: Meekies can be found thewhole world over even in places likeHolland

Sigh! Do we really have to go throughthis every month?

For those of you who do not yet know, a meekie is a person witha very large head, usually through no fault of their own. There isnothing wrong with these people. Meekie Monthly aims tocelebrate these amazing people and has been doing so since1988.

This is a drawing of a meekie by a well-renowned artist

By Staff Reporter Gordon Stribling

Vicky Pollard, the rude, obnoxious schoolgirl created by recently-married gay comedian Matt Lucas and his comedy partner, the'definitely not gay so stop asking' David Walliams, attackedCatherine Tate's almost identical creation Lauren Cooper yesterdayduring a Geography lesson.

Lyndzi Shuttleworth, a teaching assistant who witnessed theincident described how a discussion about earthquakes sparked itoff. "Lauren was mouthing off about some unrelated rubbish as sheoften does and you could see Vicky getting more and more

agitated. She just wanted to learn about tectonic plates. Those twohave had issues with each other since Lauren started hogging thelimelight."

Lauren responded to the teacher's request for quiet by shouting,quite loudly, "Am I bovvered?", which was enough to send Vickyover the edge. "She just flipped and leapt over the table over towards Lauren. The teacher tried to retain order but before hecould the encounter had descended into a 2-way bout of aggressive catchphrase-tennis". Both participants were stuck in aloop of nonsensical teenage ramblings. "I don't think Nigel [theteacher] could do anything. He tried to break it up but he probablyhadn't been taught how to deal with this kind of situation before."

Walter Sensibly, a well-behaved classmate of the two girls tried

reasoning with them but was quickly shouted down. "I tried tellingthem that they were both hilarious fictional characters, but theydidn't want to know."

Its Pollard vs. Cooper Its Pollard vs. Cooper Its Pollard vs. Cooper Its Pollard vs. Cooper

in Classroom Conflictin Classroom Conflictin Classroom Conflictin Classroom Conflict


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1 0 1 t h i n g s y o u n e v e r k n e w

a b o u t L e T o u r de F r a n c e

1. Le Tour De France was in ve n ted in France in 1962 b y a y

oung Be lgian s heep

fa rmer ca lled S imon.

2. The race in vol ve s lo ts o f pe ople on bike s going a ro

und Fra nce on a joll y. C yclis ts

ta ke in the admirable s ce ne r y be fore s topping a t va rious public hous es a long the

wa y. 3. The s o-ca lle d race a t tra c t

s a lo t o f a t te n tion e ve r y ye a r due to i ts high

in jur y ra te . Loca ls on the course place be ts on ho w man y gra

zed kne es the re

will be wi thin a de s igna te d kilome tre . Las t yea r s a w 1,354 gr

aze d knees , 14 gra ze d e lbo ws

a nd a fa t lip whe n one ride r ran in to the ba ck o f a co w.

4. This ye a rs race will be he ld in France , Europe .

5. Bic ycle te chnolog y ha s come a long wa y s ince 1962. Th

e s e da ys , mos t c ycle s a re fi t ted wi th ABS , a ir-

bags , GPS and GB s ticke rs .

6. P a s t winne rs o f this pres tigious race ha ve gone on to ge

t be t te r jobs . Gre gor y Le Monde , who won the

ti tle in 1962 and a ga in in 2006 for ins tance , ha s s ince gone o

n to s ta r in the hi t T V s ho w E x Le Tour de

France Winne rs Big Bro the r S ho w. He came s econd to P hilippe Fe lop, who was a fa

ke c yclis t.

7. C yclis ts ha ve to be ve r y fi t to en te r the ra ce . I ts no t unus

ua l for s ome c yclis ts to do 10 s i t ups BEFORE

the ir Corn flake s a nd 10 more AF TER.

8. Tradi tiona ll y, the c yclis t who drinks the mos t ge ts the fam

ed ye llo w ve s t. This origina te s from the French

word ye llo w ves t, which mean to drink a lo t and puke your g

u ts up.

9. The re will be a firs t in this yea rs race when rac

e rs will be a llo wed to dre s s up in fanc y dre s s .

10. C yclis ts can go qui te fa s t on the ir bike s . S ome bikes can go a s fa s t a s 15 mph, a l though the world

record goes to Cedric P le b, who reached the gidd ying s peed

o f 128mph o f f the s ide o f a ra vine in 1976.

Give mesomedrugs

maaaaan


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V Loo ks : Nodd

y s imp is h good loo ks, h is ro

s y c hee ks and

s t y l is h a t t ire ma ke h im ver y

popu lar w i t h t he lad ies 8

/10

Com ic Ta le n t: Nodd y s s ta

nd -up rou t ines were s tu f f o f

legends. We forge t w h y t ho

ug h 10/10

Ha ir: Nodd y s cra z y ha irs t y

le is kep t under wraps b y h

is b ig

b lue ha t. Go on Nod ge t i t

ou t! 9 /10

He ig h t : Nodd y was born a t 4 2 and

has s ta yed t ha t wa y

e ver s ince . Use fu l for h id ing be h ind mus hroom

s t houg h.

Apparen t l y

9/10

To ta l: 36/ 40

Its a draw! Hoorah!

Lo o k s : S ome sa y t ha t Bods no-f us s look s ma k e him a ppr oa c ha ble . S ome s a y t ha t he s f ok k in ugly

9/ 10 Co m ic T a le n t : Bods c omic t a le nt c ome s s t r a ight f r om t he hips jus t c he c k out t ha t w a lk !

9/ 10 Ha ir : Bods minima lis t a ppr oa c h t o lif e goe s s t r a ight t o his he a d. No ha ir s a v e s mone y on shampoo. S ple ndid 10/ 10 He ig h t : Bods 26 f r a me ge t s la r ge r a nd

la r ge r a s he w a lk s

t ow a r ds t he c a me r a a nd e nds up 69 8/ 10 T ot a l:

36 / 40


Celebrity Showdown

BO D N O D


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h


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DFS Duppe r

I would like to compla in a bou t DFS ,

the furni ture s tore . Ha ving s po t te d a

a d ve r tis e me n t on the te ll y whe re

the y s a id tha t the y we re holding

the ir s a le , I rus he d ou t the hous e

a nd do wn to m y loca l s tore where I

s pe n t 4,600 on a ne w le a the r so fa ,

wi th ma tching re clining a rm cha irs a nd a ne s t o f ta ble s . Ba rga in I

though t. A we e k la te r a nd Im s a t wa tch-

ing te ll y while I ha ve m y te a a nd

wha t comes on? Ano the r DFS s ale

a d ve r t! Ano the r 4,600 tha t I ha ve to

s pla s h ou t! Wh y can t the y jus t le a ve

me in pea ce ? I ve a lre a d y for 42

s o fa s a nd 108 a rmcha irs ! I don t

ne e d a n y more !

Tin a We tc le f t Da rling o tn

e a r M e e k i e M o n t h y . . . . . . . . Y o u r f a v o u r i t e l

e t t e r s p a g e . . . . c o s w e s a y s o

Loud Foreigners

Why do foreigners feel theneed to talk so loud? WhenIm sat on the bus, I like tohear the rise and fall of theDennis Dart SLF/ TransbusInternational Plaxton Super Pointer Easyriders engine,not some loud-arsedmumbo-jumbo .

Dai, email


W h is k y W o b b le r I w o u ld lik e t o c om p la in b it t e r ly a b o u t t h e s o - c a lle d h e a lt h b e n e f it s o f a t ip p le be f o r e b e d t im e . I s u n k a b o t t le o f w h is k y la s t n ig h t , a n d a s y o u

c a n s e e , I w a s n t lo o k in g o r f e e lin g t o o g o o d t h is m o r n in g . I s u g g e s t t h a t p e op le w h o m a k e a lc o h o l t h in k t w ic e b e f o r e s e llin g s u c h d r in k s t o ir r e s p o n s ib le f o o ls lik e m e .

Gr a h a m Lo o s e s - t o o l Bir m in g h a m

Bo y Ra c e r Fig h t b a c k I w uz mos t ups e t la s t munf t o

r e e d a bo u t a kin da pis s a bo boy r a s e r s . u obv us ly ha v e nt e v a t r y e d r a s ing a v ox a ll nov a dow n da r oa d b4 ha v u? I s u je s t s da t u ge t s ur s e lf be y ind da w e e l of 1 ov de s e mons t a ca r s b4 s la ging us of f . a ny mor e of da t s t uf f a n ill ge t da boy z r ow nd t o do u ov a

K y le , e ma il

ps iv e s e nt u a pic of my w oma n cos I f ink s he s hot . I ge t s t o s t a y a t he r how s e t w ice a w e e k a n s he e v e n le t me t uch he r poona mi once


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Get noticed


Even in small business, image is everything

Press releases web page content sales letters newsletters advertisements advertorials brochures feature writing

www.beacon-media.co.uk


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Ginger

Personof theMonthAward

Every month, Meekie Monthly celebratesbeautiful ginger people by giving them

an award. Arent we nice?

Name: Liz Hometown: Cardiff Why I love being ginger: I've alwaysliked the colour and it certainly attractscompliments! I quite like being

automatically different, too.

MY LEONARDThis months cover bandareBarry rockers My Leonard.

Back in the mid 1990s,Barry town rocked to thebig guitar sound of theHappy Kings. For a while,

the Kings ruled the town,putting in some legendaryperformances in Camdenand Cardiff. After somerock and roll dust-ups, theHappy Kings went their separate ways. And that was that.

Fortunately though, the majority of the band have decided to dustdown their guitar cases, plug in and make some more noise.Headed up by Jim on guitar and vocals, My Leonard have addednew band members, including Zelda on vocals, and Alan onguitar. Banging on the bongos is Jon and on bass, Dylan, who waswriting music at the tender age of 13.

My Leonard are now in the studio laying down some new tracksfor the autumn, but until then, Meekie Monthly is proud to give itsreaders one of their classic numbers the Last Straw.

Catch up with the band at:

www.myspace.com/myleonardmusic

www.bebo.com/my-leonard

COVER BAND- YOURS FOR FREECOURTESY OF MEEKIE MONTHLY


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Rugby World Cup PreviewRugby is a complicated game. In a recent study, over 90% of professionalplayers said that they did not understand most of the rules. Worringly, analarming 96% of referees said the same. This month, Meekie Monthlyintroduces the backs, and what they should be doing in theory

The FlyThe FlyThe FlyThe Fly- ---Half (no 10)Half (no 10)Half (no 10)Half (no 10)The fly-half is generally the personwho gets abuse from the crowd for kicking the ball around too much.They also like to try and bluff their

way past defenders. However thisusually results in a horrific tackle andshouts of Why didnt you kick it?

Full back (no 15)Full back (no 15)Full back (no 15)Full back (no 15)Full-backs often look a lonelysight. It is their responsibility to bethe last person to miss the tacklebefore the opposing side score.Often put under a high ball, thefull back is often gets swivel eyesyndrome where they keep one

eye on the ball and the other onthe opposing team closing in onthem. Like to shout Mark a lot

Scrum Half (no 9)Scrum Half (no 9)Scrum Half (no 9)Scrum Half (no 9)The scrum half is the link between the packand the backs. As such, he is the player mostlikely to get late tackled. He has to put the ballinto the scrum in such a way that the first per-son to touch the ball is the second row in his

team. He then takes it out of the scrum wherehe expects it to (unlikely)

Wings (no 11Wings (no 11Wings (no 11Wings (no 11& 14)& 14)& 14)& 14)These speedsters arerarely used in a gameand often get boredand come infield,leaving the forwards

to cover their position.Can cover role of spectator or linesman

Hi. My names Kevin and Imindestructible

Centres (no 12 & 13)Centres (no 12 & 13)Centres (no 12 & 13)Centres (no 12 & 13)There are two centre positionsinside and outside centre. Theinside centres job is to shout tothe No 10, If youd have passedthat then, Id have been in andthe outside centres job is toshout the same thing to the insidecentre.Inside centres like to play crashball where he runs heads firstinto an opponent. This can go

one of two ways a spectacular breakthrough or a visit to the localhospital.

Hi. My names Matt the Handbag and Ienjoy being carried around the pitch


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Big Brother are all the contestants nutters?

Lisa Jeynes

I think since my serieswhen I was put in to stir

it up that producersrealised they needed toput stronger characters

in. (Hey I started thatoff!). Unfortunately, as

the years have gone on

the housemates are{well most of them} arequite unstable to start off with and trying to shock

the viewer, also famehungry. Most of them

amount to nothing whenthey come out.

The Debating

Chamber

What do you thinkDebs?

I think you shouldfok up and go

home

Every month we ask a cross section of the population to cast their thoughts on a topical topic. This month weve spoken toseveral high profile people plus a tabloid columnist. Heres what they had to say about this years Big Brother

The former housemate The rock star

Stuart Cable

I dont watch thatshit mate.!!!!

The beauty queen

Eleanor Glynn(Miss England2006/07)

One answer yes

Imogen Thomas

Apart from one or twoof them...they act like5 year olds carryingteddy bears.!!They need to wakeup to the fact its a

reality show and stop talking about deals theywant when they get out.. You don't necessarily

walk into a TV career from Big Brother

The former housemate

Are they nuts? Hmmm Whilst I may not be the most knowledgeable on the subject due to the fact Igenerally pass-out after watching the twincredibles for more than a couple of minutes I would indeed support this theory: Where else would youfind a six-foot man scared of animals, and a thirty-seven year old woman who collects carrier bags, I ask you?

The tabloid columnist

ClintonHandshandi


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Girls these days dont get to sit down with their grannies andtaught what they should do. There are books on etiquette but itsall outdated like lifting up your littlefinger when drinking from a cup.Who drinks from a cup and saucer any more? From my careful obser-vation of more feminine femalesthan me, I have developed the tenmost important things to remember.Do this and you cant go wrong.

1. Learn to walk in knife-sharp high

heels without falling over.2. Learn to get up gracefully when youfall over.3. Use heels to kill any man wholaughs at you for falling over.4. Insist on drinking with a straw, even when drinking pints of beer.Something to do with your lipstick, I think.

5. Develop the art of putting on makeup in the car without looking likea clown.6. Wait till the car stops before putting in earrings, unless you neednew piercings.7. Cross your legs when wearing a skirt. Unless youre Sharon Stone.8. Always wear good pants. Unless youre Sharon Stone, see above.9. Find your perfect perfume- it should attract men like flies and suffo-cate other women, thus ridding you of competition.10. Pretend to be a lesbian. If you really are a lesbian, pretend yourenot.

Next month: How to go shopping without any money

T he Gi r l s P age

Top Tips on How to be a

Grown Up Woman

By Josie Henley

Bras * Bikinis * Bros * Boobs

www.funkandfashion.co.uk

Indulge in your passion for fashion! We provide bespoke, designer style leather

handbags and purses at affordable prices. All of our products arehandmade, to order from soft Italian calf leather, making themsoft, plushand most of all durable. At special request, bags are

available in manmade leather.

All of our bags are handmade in the UK.

Currently ALL ranges of bags are on sale @ 49.99 eachSave up to 20.00!

- Free p&p on orders over 150 - Current ranges include:

The Metallics Range (4 colours)The Betty Shopper (5 colours)

The Classic (12 colours)

The Spy Range (4 colours)

Web: www.funkandfashion.co.ukEmail: [email protected]

liv e l l


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This month: the live earth message with Joss Stone.

Alright my lovelies? Me again Joss Supersoul Stone ere with tips n tricks Ivemade up to save the world, just like I saved soul music with my supersoul voice.

Well here they are my lovelies:

1 Dont drive to the shops to buy my new CD

2 Dont buy my new CD3 or any of the old ones (theyre just as shit)4 Dont turn your computer on to buy my songs off itunes5 Turn the TV off when I come on6 and the radio

It may not save the planet but itll be the end of my career and thats somethingat least.

On a more serious note what is a really good idea though is to have loads of concerts around the world spunking carbon from the massive amounts of generators theyll need to power the shows. Genius.

t h e e a r t h m u s t

l i v e by Meekie hack, James Harris

Editorial comment: some readers may be previously aware that the author James Harris isnt amassive fan Ms Stone. We respect the fact that James has an opinion on the young singer.

Join Meekie in looking into how you can save theworld with the help of some popstars.

woof

Were all becoming aware of our carbonfootprint, and we should all be workingto reduce ours. Meekie Monthly tells youhow to work yours out and what to doto help the environment.

1. Add together the amount of unitsyou use for gas and electricity

2. Now add together the number of people in your household

3. Add the two figures together 4. Multiply it by ten

5. Add on a number of your choicebetween 1-10006. Multiply this by 497. Add on 7548. Divide it by 69. Think of your favourite colour 10. Add on the amount of letters in the

word of your favourite colour 11. Voila! Your carbon footprint!

Calculate your carbon footprint

HOW TO REDUCEYOUR FOOTPRINT

Meekie Monthly advises

that you chop both your feet off


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Advertise here foras little as

30

per month.Meekie Monthly is a fast growing E-Magazinewith its roots in South Wales but with a global

readership base. You can be part of thisgrowing phenomenon by advertis-ing on our hallowed pages. Just 20

will buy you a full page advert inglorious technicolour, street cred

and exposure to new clients.Email [email protected]

Y o u ?


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Do you care about the Earth or


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1. You bu y a flock o f co ws t

o s a ve you ha v ing to pa y the m ilkm an b

u t un fo r tuna te l y, you r c o ws keep on

fa r t ing and produc ing a lo t o f m e thane gas . Do you?

a ) In vi te friends and famil y round for a nig

h t o f Bo vine P yro technics , where you take a blo w torch to ea ch c

o ws a rse

a nd on de li ver y o f an a ir biscui t, wa tch the

ir faces glo w wi th rap ture and de ligh t?

b) Se ll the co ws to your ma te do wn the pu

b?

c) A t tach a Fa r t Ca tche r de vice , and plu

mb to the gas turbine in your a t tic to produc

e e lec trici t y for the loca l

d) village?

2. Your ne x t doo r neighbou r ins is ts on ta king her 2 ye a r o ld p ip

o f a kid to the nu rs er y do wn the road in

her

4 x4 Hum m er. Rea lising the ha rm tha t s h

e is do ing to the a tmos phere , do you?

a ) Congra tula te your ne ighbour on o wnin

g the la rges t vehicle in the s tree t, a nd s ugge

s ting tha t she ma y wan t to

impro ve the pe r formance o f the car, and th

ere fore ge t ting he r child to nurse r y in record

time , b y fi t ting s i x turbos

and a NoS ki t?

b) Mo ve hous e

c) Sabo tage the Hummer, b y le t ting do wn i ts t yres and pu t ting a ban

ana up the e xhaus t?

3. A loca l MP dec ides tha t he wan ts to

bu ild a m o to r w a y righ t through you r hou

s e . Do yo u?

a) Take the 400 he s o f fe red you for the ho

us e , dri ving s tra igh t to Liquorsa ve and hos ti

ng a la rge org y in a nea rb y

fie ld? b) Look conce rned fo

r a fe w minu te s be fore ca lling round the loc

a l pape r and poin ting a t the place where the

ne w

roa d would be build and looking sa d for the pho

tographer?

c) Climb up in a tree , build yours e l f a tre e-house and thro w apple

s a t the cons truc tion worke rs belo w?

H o w e n v i r o n me n t a l l y

c o n s c i o u s a r e y o u ?

ydo you just going arounddoing what you want? Let

Meekie Monthly answer thatfor you

MEEKIEMONTHLY Page 22MEEKIEMONTHLY Page 22MEEKIEMONTHLY Page 22MEEKIEMONTHLY Page 22


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ARIES Ma r 21 - Apr 20 The moon, ris ing up in to Ur

anus is caus ing you te rrible indige s tion this mon th. Luc

kil y, Ne p tune , the plane t

o f dige s ti ve re lie f is ha ving a pos i ti ve e f fe c t on your he a

l th. S till. Tha t doesn t mea n you can go ea ting an y

old rubbish. La y o f f those pickle d eggs i f you can. You

re no t making ma n y friends a nd you ke ep dis appea r-

ing in a green kind o f haze .

TAURUS

Ap r 21 - Ma y 21 You de cide to open your o w

n pub this mon th and a f te r s pla shing ou t 450,000 on a fra nchise a nd re furbis

h-

men t, your grand ope ning nigh t fa lls ra the r fla t when jus

t t wo people turn up- and onl y a s the ir ca r ha d broken

do wn and ne ede d to us e the phone . Unluck y ce le bri t y a

c t to book this mon th Be rnard Ma t the ws .

GEMINI Ma y 22 - J u n 22 Gemini, b y your ve r y na ture

, you a re a flir ta tious pe rs on. You jus t can t s top e ye ing

up the oppos i te se x, tr y-

ing to s ee i f youre in wi th a chance . Bu t th

is can ge t you in to a ll s or ts o f trouble this mon th, es pe ci

a ll y when

you tr y i t on wi th your be s t friends boss . You se e , the yre a lrea d y ha ving i t o f f wi th them a nd

tha t la s t thing

you ne ed is a menage rie a trios . Luck y da y to wea r rub

be r-soled s hoes - the da y you decide to mo w the la wn

in the ra in.

CANCER J u n e 23 - J u l y 23

Ma rs , the plane t o f cu t-price con fe c tiona r y makes an a p

pe a ra nce in your cha r t this mon th and ca use s chaos

wi th your die t. A ne w s hop op

e ns up do wn the road a nd i ts launch da y cons is ts o f pa

ying a fi ve r a nd e a ting

a s much cu t-price con fec tiona r y a s you can. You le a ve hospi ta l a fe w da ys la

te r. Luck y wa rd B2.

LEO J u l y 24 - Au g 23 Oh Leo. I f onl y the re we re e

nough s upe rla ti ve s in the Englis h dic tiona r y to de s cribe

you.

VIRGO Au g 24 - Sep 23

Virgo, you re a ll y do nee d to ge t a grip on tha t bod y odour s i tua tio

n. I t s eems tha t your ina bili t y to was h is los -

ing you a lo t o f frie nds . E ven the dog s i ts do wn the o ther end o f the s e t te e the s e da ys .

Ge t yours e l f do wn to

S upe rdrug and s tock up on s ome sme llie s i t migh t jus t

be the be s t thing you ve done a ll yea r.

H o ro sco p e s w i t h En o g



28/29

LIBRA Sep t 2 4 - Oc t 23

Plu to, the plane t o f hea v y workloa

ds, brings i ts de ligh t ful presence t

o your char t this mon th. And you though t you had i t

tough working 80 hours a week. Y

es , un for tuna tel y, things are abou t

to ge t e ven tougher. Ho we ver, Ne

p tune, the plane t

o f ligh t re lie f, mo ves in to your char t

a t the end o f Augus t, and wi th i t,

a da y o f f. Luck y da y to pla y Richa

rd and Jud y s

Phone In Scam Tuesda y.

S CORPIO Oc t 2 4 - No v 2 2

Se x y Scorpio. So se x y, tha t e ven t

he Church Warden wan ts to ha ve an a f fair wi th you. Be ca

re ful who you

share your juices wi th this mon th S

corpio tha t looker you pick up from

the church fe te has go t a war t problem

do wns tairs and you could be impl

ica ted in a church scandal.

S AGI T TARIUS

No v 23 - Dec 21

No thing much to shou t abou t this mon

th Sagi t tarius . In fac t, i f I were you

, I 'd wri te o f f Jul y and ge t s tar ted o

n

Augus t a mon th earl y.

CAPRICORN

Dec 2 2 - J an 20

Capricorns can e xpec t a varied mo

n th in June. There 'll be some good

da ys and some bad da ys . There 'll

be some da ys in be-

t ween and some da ys tha t are mo

re da ys tha t are be t ter than the ba

d da ys and some da ys tha t will be

badder than the

be t ter da ys . I kno w I sa id this las t m

on th, bu t tha t s wha t the char t sa ys

.

AQUARIUS

J an 21 - Feb 1 9

Tha t goes for you too.

PISCES Feb 20 - Mar 20

Pisces can e xpec t a lo t o f lo ve this

mon th wi th the arri val o f Venus in

your char t. I t means tha t you will h

a ve to s tar t

washing again and a lso brushing your tee th wou

ldn t be a bad thing ei ther. Be care f

ul no t to hur t an yone s feelings tho

ugh

mou th wash should do the

trick


H o ro sco p e s w i t h En o g

N e x t m o n t h : n e x t m o n t h s h o r o s c o p e s


29/29

Due to the international ban on football, we are

unable to bring you any sport at all. We are verysorry for the inconvenience caused and wouldlike to recommend reading Readers Friend as an

alternative source of excitement

Sport


Documents

Meekie Monthly, Issue 7 (August 2007)