Mediation & Domestic Violence

Kristine Paranica, Executive Director, Conflict Resolution Center, University of North Dakota

Certified Transformative Mediator™

Fellow of the Institute for the Study of

Conflict Transformation

The Mediation Process

Mediation is:

UNIQUE: Provides parties a unique opportunity to manage and resolve conflict through dialogue

CLIENT CENTERED: A process where the client’s goals drive the discussion and override the mediator’s desire for settlement

DECISION-FOCUSED: Used by anyone who faces conflict and needs to make decisions. It can be therapeutic but must not be therapy nor the practice of law (most advice is ethically prohibited)

What Sets Mediation Apart and Makes it Unique –

3 Keys:

Self-Determination

Impartiality

Confidentiality

Self - Determination

Capacity to make decisions that are: Voluntary Uncoerced Freely made In consideration of

client capacity Safe for all

Avoiding: Undue Influence Coercion Threats against the

Person Property Dependents Pets

Definition of Domestic Violence

Non-reciprocal Cyclical:

Starts with a build up of tension, Leads to a violent incident Follows by a period of calm and remorse Repeats at greater frequency and severity Is ultimately lethal if the cycle is unbroken

(Lenore Walker)

How Violence Prevents the Exercise of Self-Determination:

Batterer Intent:

to control and dominate a person Uses abusive tactics to intimidate or threaten a

victim into compliance. Based upon sense of entitlement by batterer Often “triggered” by victim’s attempts to assert

independence or disagree with perpetrator. Violence escalates in severity and frequency. When is likelihood of violence greatest?

Batterer Characteristics

Superior in charge / Head of household Objectify the person / Name calling Selfish - their gain is someone else’s loss Little or no consequence for their actions Refuse to take responsibility for behavior Jealous & possessiveness Public vs. private behavior Manipulative – of partner AND of system

USINGINTIMIDATION

USINGEMOTIONALABUSE

USINGISOLATION

MINIMIZING,DENYINGAND BLAMING

USINGCHILDREN

USINGECONOMICABUSE

USINGCOERCIONAND THREATS

USINGPRIVILEGE

PowerAnd

Control

Developed by:Domestic Abuse Intervention ProjectDuluth, MN, 218-722-4134

National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violencewww.ncdsv.org

Causes and Misconceptions of Domestic Violence:

Intimate Partner Violence is a CHOICE! It is learned through observation (family, friends, school, media, etc.), it is learned in culture and society, it is learned through experience and reinforcement.

Domestic violence is NOT caused by Alcohol or drugs The relationship or the victim Anger or stress The batterer being out of control

Issues of Safety

Can we make it safe?

Who has expertise?

Safety Strategies:Pre-Mediation

Mediation

Post-Mediation

Services

Referrals

*Separate rooms do NOT = Safety

Screening Tools

Strategies for Identifying Intimate Partner Violence

What is the Context?

Broad Considerations for Mediators:

INTENT in offender’s use of violence MEANING of the violence to the victim EFFECT of acts on the victim How this incident fits with PREVIOUS

PATTERNS of behavior

How does screening work in Mediation? Before:

Initial Phone Call Ask if they have any concerns Check to see if they have advocates, etc.

Pre-Mediation Intake or Orientation Separate Meetings with both parties

Face to Face Different dates/times Open questions Screening tool if appropriate

Areas to Inquire: Control, Coercion, Intimidation, FearHow are/were decisions made in your marriage/relationship?

What happens when you speak your mind and express your point of view to the other party; when you and the other party fight and/or are angry at each other?

Talk about the worst fight you have ever had. What did it look like? What was said? What happened? Talk about the most recent fight you have had. What did it look like? What was said? What happened?

Has the other party ever prevented you (or tried to prevent you) from having contact with family or friends, or your children?

Has the other party ever denied you access to money for food, shelter, clothing, medical needs?

Has the other party ever threatened to hurt or kill you or him/herself?

Do you have any concerns about sitting in the same room mediating with the other party? Would they remain if you had an advocate with you?

Lethality Questions

Risk Questions: Do you think he/she will seriously injure or kill

you or your children? What makes you think so? What makes you think not?

How frequently and seriously does he/she intimidate, threaten, or assault you?

Describe the most recent event. Describe the most frightening event/worse

incidence of violence. Weapons in the house? Pets injured?

MAKING A DECISION ABOUT WHETHEROR NOT TO MEDIATE…

Party is in Immediate Danger No Apparent Immediate

Danger, but the Abused Party Disclosed Violence by or Fear of the Other Party

Non-Violent, but Abusive/Controlling

Protection Order/Restraining Order In Effect

Safety PlanningScreening is an ongoing process (before, during, and sometimes after mediation) What feels safe to a person in mediation? Signals between client and mediator in the

event client sees indicators of violence Exit planning: before, during, after Mediation Identify who to call and where to go for help;

Support availability (family, friends, advocate) What safety plans have worked in the past? Mandatory Reporting & Confidentiality

Services 24-Hour Crisis Line

National Hot Line: 1-800-799-SAFE Shelter / Violence Intervention Centers Protection Order / Disorderly Conduct

Restraining Order Crisis Counseling Individual and Group Counseling Advocacy and Referrals Safety Planning

Questions?

2012 ND Law ReviewDomestic Violence & Sexual AssaUlt

Symposium