Achieving Work-Life Balance

Using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to Learn to

“Flex”

Value Unlimited

Brian Fitch, Ph.D.

February 27, 2006

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MBTI Helps us Learn to be Flexible!

Greater self-awareness See others more clearly Understand differences Flex by accommodating others

constructively Think “type,” not “stereotype”—

preference, not capability

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Approach to Work-Life Balance Today . . .

Explore relationship with spouse/ significant other (S/SO) as a major avenue to work-life balance

Enhance relationship by flexing Two outcomes

1. Enable the differences2. Develop and enjoy a new “side” to

ourselves

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More Factors in Work-Life Balance

Children and other family members

Spiritual dimension Health Fitness Happiness with job Other . . .

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The MBTI?

It Is NOT A test A measure of

intelligence An indicator of

pathology A measure of skill

It IS A self-reporting

instrument Reliable and valid Most widely used

psychological indicator

A preference indicator

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Four Temperament Scales

2. Information-Gathering

3. Decision-Making

4. Life Style

Extrovert: With People

Sensing: Facts and Data

Thinking: Logical, Rational

Judging: Systematic, Organized

Feeling: Impact on Others

INtuitive: Big Picture

Introvert: Independent

SPontaneous: Changes Direction

1. Energy Source

© Copyright Value Unlimited 1998

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Sixteen MBTI Types

ISTJ-7

ESTJ-7

ISFP-1

ESTP-3

ISTP-3

INTJ-3 INFJ-2ISFJ-4

INTP-6 INFP-3

ENFP-9ESFP-4

ESFJ-5 ENFJ-6 ENTJ-11

ENTP-12

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Preference Clarity Categories

RAW POINT RANGES

Slight Moderate Clear Very Clear

E or I 11-13 14-16 17-19 20-21

S or N 13-15 16-20 21-24 25-26

T or F 12-14 15-18 19-22 23-24

J or P 11-13 14-16 17-20 21-22

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Scale 1. Energy SourceExtravert Introvert Talkative IntrospectiveOpen ReservedExternal InternalActive ThoughtfulWith a group AloneTalks first Thinks first“Party on!” “I’m out of here!”

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Extraverts (E)

Like variety and action Comfortable with impromptu

meetings Close door to keep themselves in Think through ideas with others Aren’t bothered by interruptions Like to have people around Interests have breadth

Like variety and action Comfortable with impromptu

meetings Close door to keep themselves in Think through ideas with others Aren’t bothered by interruptions Like to have people around Interests have breadth

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Introverts (I)

Like quiet for concentration Prefer scheduled meetings Close door to keep others out Think through ideas alone Dislike interruptions Work contentedly alone Interests have depth

Like quiet for concentration Prefer scheduled meetings Close door to keep others out Think through ideas alone Dislike interruptions Work contentedly alone Interests have depth

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Scale 2. Information Gathering

Sensors IntuitorsConcrete TheoreticalFacts PossibilitiesDetails PatternsPresent FutureLiteral FigurativeTangible AbstractPractical Ingenious5 Senses “6th Sense”

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Sensors (S)

Want standard solutions to problems Follow established ways of doing

things Use current skills instead of learning

new ones Think step by step Patient with routine detail Less likely to make factual errors Tend to be good at precise work

Want standard solutions to problems Follow established ways of doing

things Use current skills instead of learning

new ones Think step by step Patient with routine detail Less likely to make factual errors Tend to be good at precise work

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INtuitors (N)

Like solving new problems Dislike doing the same thing repeatedly Want to learn new skills, not use old

ones Try to reach conclusions by intuitive

leaps Impatient with routine details More likely to make factual errors Dislike taking time for precise work

Like solving new problems Dislike doing the same thing repeatedly Want to learn new skills, not use old

ones Try to reach conclusions by intuitive

leaps Impatient with routine details More likely to make factual errors Dislike taking time for precise work

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Scale 3. Decision Making

Thinkers FeelersObjective SubjectiveImpersonal

InterpersonalJustice MercyWhy WhoHead HeartLogical PersonalClarity HarmonyTruth Tact

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Thinkers (T)

Brief and businesslike Analytical – will follow your logic May hurt your feelings and not know it Can get along without harmony Make decisions impersonally Don’t show emotions readily Need to be treated fairly Tend to be firm-minded

Brief and businesslike Analytical – will follow your logic May hurt your feelings and not know it Can get along without harmony Make decisions impersonally Don’t show emotions readily Need to be treated fairly Tend to be firm-minded

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Feelers (F) Personable in the office People oriented – focus on your values Enjoy pleasing others Like and need harmony Consider others when making

decisions Aware of, and show, emotions Need feedback and praise Tend to be sympathetic

Personable in the office People oriented – focus on your values Enjoy pleasing others Like and need harmony Consider others when making

decisions Aware of, and show, emotions Need feedback and praise Tend to be sympathetic

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Scale 4. Life Style

JudgersSpontaneous

Decisive CuriousDefinite OptionalPlanful FlexibleScheduled AdaptableDeadline GuidelineClosure Open-endedNow LaterUse list Lose list

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Judgers (J)

Work best with a plan Get things settled and finished Make decisions quickly Are satisfied once they make a

decision about anything (!) Organize projects before beginning Care about deadlines

Work best with a plan Get things settled and finished Make decisions quickly Are satisfied once they make a

decision about anything (!) Organize projects before beginning Care about deadlines

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SPontaneous (P)

Adapt well to changes Don’t mind leaving things open for

alteration Postpone decisions easily Will always welcome new information Tend to dive into projects without

organizing Could care less about deadlines

Adapt well to changes Don’t mind leaving things open for

alteration Postpone decisions easily Will always welcome new information Tend to dive into projects without

organizing Could care less about deadlines

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Your Types

Write down: Your type __ __ __ __

Your S/SO’s type __ __ __ __

Need to guess?

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If Your S/SO Did Not Take the MBTI

Guess Your S/SO’s Type:E___ I___S___ N___T___ F___J___ P___

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How Can You Flex Toward the Other’s Preferences?

Using Slides 7-9 for ideas, list the descriptors that best describe your S/SO’s Energy Source (E-I): Using Slides 16-18 for ideas, list the descriptors that best describe your S/SO’s Life Style (J-P) preferences: If you wanted to flex toward, or accommodate, your S/SO’s preferences, how could you do that?

Examples on 24-25

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Example of E-I Flexing

You are ESTJ and your S/SO is ISTJ Your E, her I – “very clear” You have trouble “connecting” at the end

of the work day—she seems unresponsive to you, you seem insensitive to her

Consider flexing by: Having “alone” time for an hour when you get

home at the end of the work day to “recharge” Spending a quiet night at home on Friday and

then going out with friends on Saturday

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Example of J-P Flexing You are ENTP and your S/SO is ENTJ

Your P, his J – “clear” You have trouble planning the getaway that you

agree you need Consider flexing by:

Scheduling some of the itinerary closely, to suit him

Leaving some time unscheduled and open to completely new adventures, to suit you

Discussing how you can have fun doing each other’s “thing,” and being open to that possibility

Back to Slide 21

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Possible Outcomes from Your Flexing?

Attitudes? Balance?

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“In the Grip”—We Will Examine:

Energizers Stressors How the grip “gets us” How to create balance You and your S/SO in the grip!

(earmark pages with your types as we move ahead)

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Extraverted Thinking: ESTJ (7), ENTJ (11)

Energizers Work Leading others Predictability Closure Logic Achieving

Stressors Lack of control Change Disorganization Interruptions Lack of logic Incompetence

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Extraverted Thinking: ESTJ, ENTJ

Grip Reactions Anger Loss of control Inflexibility Domineering Avoidance Conviction that

others dislike them

Remedies Someone to talk to Refocusing Time alone Help to face

problem Physical activity Emotional support

from trusted others

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Introverted Feeling: ISFP (1), INFP (3)

Energizers Personal values Helping and

affirming Congeniality Appreciation Recognition and

respect Flexibility

Stressors Multiple demands Rigid time frames Conflict Not working alone Controlling by

others Demands for

conformity

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Introverted Feeling: ISFP, INFP

Grip Reactions Disappointment Negativity Martyr Depression Active/passive

aggression Loss of

competence

Remedies Reflection, meditation

Take time for fun Talk to close friends

Take time alone Focus on what is right

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Introverted Thinking: ISTP (3), INTP (6)

Energizers Freedom Tangible results Appreciation Respect Being heard Autonomy

Stressors Strict rules Incompetence Dependence on

others Lack of logic,

fairness Too much

extraversion Strong emotions

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Introverted Thinking: ISTP, INTP Grip Reactions Upset Alienation Fear of losing

control Passive-

aggressiveness Complain, pout Hypersensitive

Remedies Resist inner fears Try out new

behaviors Disengage Take time alone Understanding

from others

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Extraverted Feeling: ESFJ (5), ENFJ (6)

Energizers Control schedule Supportive

environment Valued as individual In tune with others Open

communication Frequent

appreciation

Stressors Undermining Confrontation Sudden change Personal criticism Treating others

impersonally Insufficient time Violating personal

values

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Extraverted Feeling: ESFJ, ENFJ Grip Reactions Negativity Controlling, rigid Insensitivity Withdrawal,

depression Self-doubt Inefficiency,

scatteredness

Remedies Talk it through Spend time alone Spiritual values Support group Help in

transforming Take time to

nurture self

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Extraverted Sensing: ESTP (3), ESFP (4)

Energizers Variety and flexibility Freedom Remembering specifics Options Clarity Teamwork

Stressors Deadlines Rigid routine Long-term planning Circumstances out

of control Vague directions Commitment

without flexibility

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Extraverted Sensing: ESTP, ESFP Grip Reactions Seeing negative

implications Withdrawal “Paranoid” Sense of

incompetence Spinning wheels

Remedies Change focus Avoid distractions Ask others for help Reassurance Help finding

options Help getting to the

point

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Introverted Intuition: INTJ (3), INFJ (2)

Energizers Flexibility, control Autonomy Clarity of role Organized life Directness and

honesty Achieving closure

Stressors Details Irrational people Too much extraverting Noise, disorganization Violating standards Lack of follow-through

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Introverted Intuition: INTJ, INFJ

Grip Reactions Anger, agitation,

fatigue Overdoing sensory

activities—e.g., eating, cleaning, repairing

Physical stress Seeing details as

obstacles Obsession about

stress Sleeplessness

Remedies Quiet time to reenergize Recreation Time off Simple sensing activities Change the schedule Accept help with details Caring from others

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Introverted Sensing: ISTJ (7), ISFJ (4)

Energizers Organizing facts

and details Reaching closure Quiet workspace Few interruptions Stability Adequate time and

support Control of schedule

Stressors Deadlines Sloppy work Sudden change Inefficiency Winging it,

brainstorming

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Introverted Sensing: ISTJ, ISFJ Grip Reactions Negativity Accommodating,

then resisting Blaming others Decreased efficiency Obsessive thinking

about problems Shut down, get

depressed

Remedies Getting away Validation of

competence Not getting too

much advice Organizing, finishing

projects Help with priorities Others’ concrete

support

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Extraverted Intuition: ENTP (12), ENFP (9)

Energizers Variety, challenge Autonomy Being taken

seriously Innovative, effective

solutions Delegating details

to others Unstructured time

Stressors Reaching closure Disrespected Too many details Close, distrusting

supervision Too little

stimulation Rules that inhibit

creativity

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Extraverted Intuition: ENTP, ENFP Grip Reactions Passive-

aggressiveness Work harder less

effectively Worry, chronic

anxiety Withdraw No follow-through Extreme emotion,

activity

Remedies Rest Physical exercise Setting boundaries Prioritizing tasks Delegating to others Relaxing sensing

activities Planning, list-making

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Getting a Grip!Turn to your S/SO’s type in Slides 26-41 and list his/her main stressors:

Again from Slides 26-41, list your S/SO’s main grip reactions:

ESTJ, ENTJ 26-27

ISTP, INTP 28-29

ISFP, INFP 30-31

ESTJ, ENFJ 32-33

ESTP, ESFP 34-35

INTJ, INFJ 36-37

ISTJ, ISFJ 38-39

ENTP, ENFP 40-41

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How Different Approaches Can Benefit Us T-F and J-P approach life differently Flex to find balance and benefit

from the differences between you and your S/SO

Flex to another preference just to develop your perspective on that side, regardless of your S/SO’s type

Examples?

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T-F Approaches: the T Focus

What the difference is between us Opinions and principles Analyzing the difference Succinct, to the point Firm stance

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T-F Approaches: the F Focus

Who is involved Needs and values Accepting, appreciating differences Tactful Give and take

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J-P Approaches: the J Focus

Sort it out Solve it Focus on the past and future Be concerned primarily with

outcome Be happy when the difference is

resolved

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J-P Approaches: the P Focus

Seek clarification Work it through Focus on the present Be concerned with other’s input Be happy when difference is

addressed

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Use Differences to Advantage!

1. Create space (P)

2. Make Suggestions (T)

3. Make Suggestions (F)

4. Seek closure (J)

THE FLEXING MODEL

Here’s how

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1. Create Space (P)—Include and Understand Each Other’s Views

Change location—neutral, pleasant Keep listening and asking for more

information Relax!

1. Create Space (P)

2. Make Suggestions (T)

3. Make Suggestions (F)

4. Seek Closure (J)

FLEX

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2 and 3. Make Suggestions (T & F)

2. T: What do we know? What is logical based on the alternatives?

3. F: How do we feel? Why should we care?

1. Create Space (P)

2. Make Suggestions (T)

3. Make Suggestions (F)

4. Seek Closure (J)

FLEX

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4. Seek Closure (J) Consider the possibilities Agree on next steps Take one step at a time Move on—turn out the lights!

1. Create Space (P)

2. Make Suggestions (T)

3. Make Suggestions (F)

4. Seek Closure (J)

FLEX

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Put It To WorkConsidering what you have written on Slides 19, 21, and 42, fill in the blanks in the Flexing Model to suggest what you and your S/SO will do to help each other create balance concerning your energy, life style, stressors, and grip reactions:

1. We will flex to create space (P) by:

______________

_____________

_____________

2. We will flex to be more logical (T) by:

_________________________

_________________________

_________________________

3. We will flex to be more feeling (F) by:

_________________________

_________________________

_________________________

4. We will flex to seek closure and move on (J) by:

______________

______________

______________

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Examples from the Group

See if any might work for you . . .

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ContactBrian Fitch, Ph.D.Value Unlimited

2977 Coleridge RoadCleveland Heights, Oh 44118

Phone: (216) 570-1135 Fax (216) 320-9858Email: valueunltd@aol.com Website: www.yourvalueunlimited.com

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