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    Wars Aftermath

    12 A War Is Never OverBy Trish Thompson

    14 QuestionBy Paul Davis

    15 Spanning a BridgeBy Sister Dang Nghiem

    18 First Time in Vietnam?By Brian McNaught

    Healing and Transformation

    29 The First PreceptBy Julie Hungiville LeMay

    30 The Leaves of One TreeBy Le Thu Thuy

    32 On Love and Being GayBy Laurie Arron

    34 Blue Sky PracticeBy Susan Hadler

    ISSUE NO. 48 - SUMMER 2008

    Dharma Talk

    4 Zen Master Thich Nhat HanhTalks about Tibet

    6 The Way to Well-BeingBy Sister Annabel, True Virtue

    20 My Responsibilityfor the War in IraqBy Bruce Campbell

    20 The Light at theTip of the CandleBy Claude Anshin Thomas

    Gift of Non-Fear

    23 Getting Better, not BitterThe Dharma in Tanzania

    By Karen Brody

    25 Watering FearlessnessBy David C. Gritz

    27 Letting GoBy Roberta Schnorr

    Heart to Heart

    35 The Fifth Mindfulness TrainingBy Evelyn van de Veen, Scott Morris,

    and Paul Baranowski

    Childrens Wisdom

    37 Paint a Portrait of MeBy Brooke Mitchell

    38 The Helping HandBy Brother Phap Dung

    40 Bell of MindfulnessBy Terry Cortes-Vega

    Sangha News41 Thay Rewrites the Five Contemplations;

    New Dharma Teachers Ordained at Plum Village;Q&A about Blue Cliff

    Book Reviews

    44 World As Lover, World As SelfBy Joanna Macy

    44 Buddha Mind, Buddha BodyBy Thich Nhat Hanh

    Vietnam Relief

    46 How Can We Help theChildren in Vietnam?

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    On the cover: Lotus fl ower at Plum Village,photo by Emily Whittle

    Dear Thay, dear Sangha,

    It is impossible or me to read

    this issue without thinking o our

    recently deceased son, Jesse Toy.

    Everything I see and do is through

    the lens o his sudden passing onFebruary 4. We are thankul or the

    hundreds o cards and letters rom

    you, our Sangha rom Germany,

    Norway, the U.K., and across the U.S. As Jesses ather Philip and I

    walk the changing landscape o our grie and joy, there is one image

    we will not soon orget: Jesses pink baby blanket spread on the fl oor in

    the meditation hall, covered with colorul origami paper cranes, bright

    fl owers o peace and hope.

    This is the cream o our practice: the blanket a symbol o birth

    and the ground o mindulness; the color pink or the new lie o Jesses

    continuation; and the joyul cranes emblems o our transormation

    body. The origami peace crane project was launched by our riend TeijoMunnich, a Soto Zen Dharma teacher. In the two months since Jesse

    let his physical body, we have ully celebrated his lie. We were joined

    by ormer Sangha rom Old Path Zendo in Pennsylvania at our Quaker

    service. We hosted an elegant Ceremony or the Deceased in Thays

    tradition at Cloud Cottage in North Carolina. Next week our Sangha wil

    plant a weeping willow in honor o Jesse. Yet the cranes have touched us

    most. The care and cherishing in every old o each colorul bird speak

    o Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. The birds on the blanket look like theyre

    having a party!

    This issue o the Mindulness Bell is like that blanket a Dharma

    party. These pages are the blanket: the expression o the practice o our

    beloved teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, o our blood and spiritual ancestorsand the skill and love o our editor, Janelle Combelic. Each story, poem

    letter, and prayer is like one hopeul paper crane. Each crane is distinct

    yet each is the same as the others. Tears ell on the origami paper as we

    olded together. And rom our suering fl y the wings o peace.

    Paper crane-making or those who are sick, dying, or have died

    springs directly rom the suering o World War II ater the bombing o

    Hiroshima, Japan, and the little girl Sadako who touched hearts around

    the world with her suering. So, too, in the stories o this issue the wars

    and tribulations o lie are present. Every story, poem, and image tells us

    transormation is possible that through our precepts, concentration

    and insight, we can gently invite ourselves back to the present moment

    this wonderul moment. In February, our son passed away. This spring

    the orsythia shines brighter than any spring beore.

    Sister Annabel Laity wrote us a letter to help prevent us rom drown-

    ing in our grie a ter Jesses passing. She invited us to touch and learn to

    liberate the anguish o our ancestors who lost their sons in wars and other

    sudden, tragic ways. She wrote, I have conf dence you can transorm

    this grie into a beautiul fl ower, and that your son lives on in the ruits

    o transormation that you realize.

    From out o our season o sorrow and wonder, Philip and I oer you

    crocus buds o gratitude, dear Thay, dear Sister, dear Sangha.

    Judith Toy, True Door o Peace

    Associate Editor

    A Journal o the Art o Mindul Livingin the Tradition o Thich Nhat Hanh

    Published by Plum Village

    Issue 48 Summer 2008

    Advisor and Editor Sister Annabel

    Managing Editor Janelle Combelic

    Associate Editor Judith Toy

    Design LuminArts

    Proofreader Elaine Hild

    Subscriptions & Advertising David Percival

    Website Design Lien Ho

    Webmaster Brandy Sacks

    Advisory Board Richard Brady

    Jerry Braza

    Barbara Casey

    Thay Phap Kham

    Peggy Rowe-Ward

    Matt Sherman

    Writing Submissions: Please send us the fruits ofyour practice. We welcome feature articles (1,500 to2,500 words), essays, and stories, as well as poetry. Weespecially welcome submissions from young people ofany age.

    Art & Photo Submissions: We welcome photos, art-work, and cartoons from your local sangha, family, andcommunity. Please send digital images as TIFF or JPEGfi les no larger than 1 MB. We can promptly return all origi-nals sent by mail.Send submissions via e-mail to [email protected] or by mail to Mindfulness Bell, 745 Cagua S.E., Albu-querque, NM 87108, U.S.A.

    Advertising Inquiries and Subscriptions: [email protected], [email protected]. orDavid Percival, 745 Cagua S.E., Albuquerque, NM 87108,U.S.A.The Mindfulness Bell is published three times a year bythe Community of Mindful Living, Deer Park Monastery,2499 Melru Lane, Escondido CA 92026, U.S.A.

    Website: Read selected articles, subscribe, and viewthe worldwide sangha directory online at www.mindful-nessbell.org.

    mindulness BELL

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    Letters

    the Mindulness Bell 3

    We love to receive your lettersand suggestions.

    Please e-mail editor@mindulnessbell.

    org or write to Mindulness Bell, c/o David

    Percival, 745 Cagua S.E., Albuquerque

    NM 87108, U.S.A.

    Thank You, Thay

    Dear Thay,

    I just nished a weekend retreat with Dharma

    Teacher Larry Ward. The insight and mindul-

    ness I learned was very helpul to my practice

    and essential or my growth.

    You may not remember, but in 1995 I was

    incarcerated at Folsom State Prison. While there

    your organization sent me a ree subscription to

    the Mindulness Bell. We started a meditation

    group and you donated many books and audio

    tapes. When I was paroled in 1997 our group

    had grown to over 300 men meeting weekly to

    sit in mindulness meditation. I hear now it has

    grown to at least eight prisons with over 3000

    men meditating daily. The books and meditation

    help you provided are still part o the meditation

    library at Folsom State Prison.

    I have remained with my practice and what Ilearned rom your books and teaching has helped

    me be successul with my reedom. For that I

    must say thank you.

    I also took the Three Jewels and Five Mind-

    ulness Trainings this morning at our retreat with

    Larry Ward.

    I am now beginning to use my talent to

    teach more prisoners about meditation through

    a journal/newsletter. You can read about it on my

    website at http://m-squared.org/dharmaseeds.

    html

    I hope to someday meet you in person and

    bow in reverence or what you passed on to methrough your teaching or which I am ever

    grateul.

    Peace,Mark Maxey

    Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

    Editors reply (from Sr. Annabel at Plum Village):

    Dear friend, thank you for being free where you are.

    Thay is very happy when he reads your letter.

    Printing on Recycled Paper

    At the New Year retreat at Blue Cli Monas-

    tery, the little Buddhas took the vow o the Two

    Promises. They vow to develop understanding

    and compassion to people, animals, plants and

    minerals.

    The evening beore that I made my resolu-

    tion or the New Year: to eel the pain o the

    earth and to act, just a small step, a promise I

    can keep. This letter is the ruit o that resolu-

    tion and the will to help the little Buddhas with

    their vow.

    When we read the oldest text on deep ecol-

    ogy, as our teacher calls the Diamond Sutra, we

    learn that we have to respect and protect other

    beings in order or us to have a chance. We read

    this on a paper that is a tree, the air we breathe

    and the whole universe.

    My aspiration or the year 2008 is to readthe Diamond Sutra and the Mindulness Bell

    on post-consumer recycled paper, that we may

    have a chance to develop our understanding and

    compassion or all beings.

    Gil-Ad AramaMontreal, Quebec

    Editors reply: We had been thinking about this for

    a while but Gil-Ads letter prompted action! Printing

    on 100% post-consumer waste (PCW) recycled

    paper would cost too much and increase the

    weight of the magazine. We have switched to 30%

    PCW for the inside pages and 100% PCW for the

    cover, which slightly increased our printing costs.Contributions to the Mindfulness Bell to help offset

    those increased costs are most welcome.

    EIAB Update

    The European Institute or Applied Buddhism

    has received so much support rom readers o

    the Mindulness Bell. We are very heartened and

    grateul or this support. We have almost ound a

    home or our rst establishment. It is in Germany,

    very close to Cologne and Bonn.

    We need one more ocial go-ahead rom

    the government o Germany beore we can buy

    the property. The town councillors o our di-

    erent political parties have voted unanimously

    to accept our buying the property and we are

    hopeul that in six weeks or so we shall be able

    to make the purchase. At that time we shall be

    asking or any material support you can give to

    make the purchase.

    It would be wonderul i you could come

    to Germany and practice in the Institute itsel,

    but i you cannot make the journey do not worry.The courses oered at the Institute will also

    be oered at Blue Cli, Deer Park, and Plum

    Village.

    In the garden o ive hectares we shall

    establish a garden o medicinal herbs.

    There will be more news in the next edition

    o the Mindulness Bell.

    Sister Annabel, True Virtue

    New Hamlet, Plum Village, France

    Winter/Spring 2008 Issue

    Heres a little story o how our Sangha enjoyed

    the latest MB.

    In January our Sangha wanted to do a

    Beginning Anew ceremony and our host or the

    night, Rhonda, wanted to introduce it with a

    ew words. Well Rhonda was the rst to get her

    Mindulness Bell weeks beore the rest o us

    did so she was able to read some passages

    rom Janelles article and the one by Brother

    Phap An and Sister Dang Nghiem. It was lovely.

    We all said it was a miracle that Rhonda got the

    magazine so early that Thay and the olks atthe MB were taking care o us, protecting us,

    making us so happy.

    Terry Cortes-VegaAustin, Texas

    sharing ourVIEWS

    www.DharmaTheCatCartoons.com courtesy David Lourie

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    His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh in Hollywood with B.K. Modi, September 2006 photo courtesy of Bhuvan La

    Zen Master Thich Nhat HanhTalks About Tibet

    dharma TALK

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    W

    When the Plum Village delegation led by Thich Nhat Hanh landed in

    Rome or ourteen days o public talks, retreats, and other events,

    the demonstration by 600 Tibetan monks on the occasion o the

    orty-ninth year o the movement to oppose the yoke o Chinese

    rule was in its eighth day. The capital o Tibet, Lhasa, had beencut o rom all outside contact by Chinese tanks, armored cars,

    and military personnel. The repression by the Chinese orces was

    bloody; the corpses o hundreds o victims, most o whom were

    Tibetan youths and Buddhists, lay in the streets.

    During his stay in Rome Thich Nhat Hanh was interviewed

    on Italian television about the situation in Tibet. Thay made two

    principal proposals:

    1. The European parliament should call an extraordinary

    meeting on the situation in Tibet and send a multinational

    delegation to Lhasa and other parts o Tibet that have

    witnessed suering due to the occupation. The delegation

    should listen deeply to the suering o both sides and

    make a report to the countries o Europe and North

    America.

    2. The European and North American countries should

    intervene to make it possible or His Holiness the

    Dalai Lama to visit Tibet and give teachings on the

    Buddhadharma and organize retreats just as Thich

    Nhat Hanh was able to go back to Vietnam to teach the

    Dharma. I Thich Nhat Hanh was allowed to return to

    Vietnam to teach, then China should allow H.H. the Dalai

    Lama to return to Tibet to teach. The people o Tibet and

    the Chinese people need to be in touch with the wonderul

    presence o H.H. Even i H.H. were only to teach the

    Dharma and encourage the preservation o Tibetan

    culture and say nothing about politics it would bring

    enormous happiness to the people o his homeland. Ipressure rom Western countries enabled Thich Nhat Hanh

    to go back to Vietnam, then similar pressure could enable

    the Dalai Lama to go back to Tibet.

    During the interview, Thich Nhat Hanh also suggested that the

    government o Vietnam should allow the organizers o the Inter-

    national Wesak Celebration due to take place in Hanoi in May

    2008 to invite H.H. the Dalai Lama to attend. This would bring a

    great deal o happiness to Vietnamese Buddhists and would also

    show that Vietnam takes a very dierent stand toward Tibet than

    does China. Thich Nhat Hanh also told Tibetan Buddhists not to

    give up hope because Vietnam was under Chinese rule or nearly

    1000 years, but was fnally able to reclaim her independence.

    During a press conerence on 27 March in Naples, Thich

    Nhat Hanh repeated what he had said earlier on Italian television;

    namely that he was ready to go to Tibet with H.H. the Dalai Lama

    to support H.H. and teach the Dharma to Tibetan Buddhists with

    H.H. i he was granted a visa to do so.

    Originally published in Phu Sa MagazineTranslated from the Vietnamese by Sister Annabel, True Virtue

    Send a multinational delegation

    to Lhasa and other parts of Tibet

    that have witnessed suffering and

    listen deeply to both sides.

    dharma TALK

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    DDear Sangha, today please allow me to say a little bit about the

    Four Noble Truths. First o all, I shall write the Four Noble Truths

    on the board. Theres a way o expressing this, where to each Noble

    Truth we add a word:

    1. Ill-being.

    2. The way to ill-being.

    3. The end of the way to ill-being.

    4. The way to end the way to ill-being.

    That is the Indian way, in which we use the negative mode

    In the Western way we use the word well-being, which is more

    positive. Many scholars have talked a lot about the Four Noble

    Truths, and they have certain ideas concerning the Four Noble

    Truths. Really, they are a practice, and we dont need to be a scholarto understand it. We just need to be a practitioner. We dont even

    have to be a Buddhist. We just practice.

    This is a very basic teaching o the Buddha, because the Bud

    dha saw how benecial it is or us. We are very lucky that 2,600

    years later we have an opportunity to take hold o that practice, just

    as it was used in ancient India, and to use it in our own time.

    So in order to do the practice, I would suggest that we use one

    o the practices Thay talked about yesterday: vipashyana, looking

    deeply. We dont always need to be sitting on a meditation cushion

    in the meditation hall in order to practice looking deeply. We can

    be seated at our writing desk with a pen and a piece o paper

    or we can be on the bus or on the train. As long as we establishourselves in shamatha, stopping, calming, then we can always

    practice vipashyana.

    For your own practice, I would suggest that you take a piece o

    paper and old it into three so that it has three columns. Although

    there are Four Noble Truths, we may not need to have a column

    or the third one because as Thay has been teaching us, there is

    no way to peace; peace is the way. There is no way to healing

    healing is the way. So in the same voice we could say, there is no

    way to well-being; well-being is the way. The Fourth Noble Truth

    is the way to well-being, so the Third Noble Truth and the Fourth

    Noble Truth are just one exercise.

    The Way to

    Well-BeingBy Sister Annabel, True VirtueAt the retreat at the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes

    Park, Colorado, Sister Annabel offered this Dharma

    talk on August 24, 2007. In her soft British-accented

    voice, Sister Annabel gave a brilliant elucidation of

    the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path.

    When we are aware of

    everything that is nourishing

    and wonderful in life, it brings us

    a very deep happiness.

    dharma TALK

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    The First Noble Truth: Ill-BeingThe First Noble Truth is quite essential. Without that, the

    other Noble Truths cant be there. The Four Noble Truths inter-

    are; you practice one, and the other three are already there. In the

    Heart o the Prajnaparamita we say, No ill-being, no cause o

    ill-being, no end o ill-being, and no path. And that is as much

    to say that ill-being doesnt have a separate sel. As we practice

    or ourselves, we will begin to understand this. This isnt theory.

    The Dharma is available or us to see directly when we put it

    into practice in our daily lie.

    Your rst column is or the First Noble Truth. Some peopleget stuck in the rst column, but i we practice we wont be stuck

    there. We wont say, Oh, dear, everything is ill-being! That

    is the scholars approach, but our approach is our real experi-

    ence. So in this rst column, write down everything that in your

    personal lie you eel to be ill-being. It could be psychological,

    physical, or physiological. So you write down, maybe, despair

    that is the overwhelming emotion that you eel sometimes.

    Or you write down depression. And you might write down

    physical pain that you have.

    We need to look deeply because sometimes we dont even

    recognize that we have ill-being. There is something that is want-

    ing to be transormed, maybe rom our ancestors, that lies deep

    in our consciousness. Its calling out to be transormed, but we

    havent heard its call. There might be anger there, or depression,

    but we havent ully recognized it. It is like someone whos drunk

    too much who says, Im not drunk. Somebody whos angry can

    say, Oh, Im not angry, theres nothing to be angry about. But

    looking deeply we recognize that. So we write it down.

    Having written down all that, we look at it in the ace. In

    my personal experience, this is a tremendous relie. We may be

    able to do this on our own or we may ask someone to help us.

    We may go to the doctor or the psychotherapist, and they may

    tell us what our ill-being is, i we havent seen it. But principally,

    its something that we have to see or ourselves. So even though

    were in the First Noble Truth, we already, by acing it as thetruth, begin to see it as it is.

    This is something the Buddha teaches us very clearly. In

    the Satipatthana Sutta, the Sutra on the Four Establishments

    of Mindfulness, in the last section on the mindulness o the

    objects o mind, there is a phrase that the practitioner is aware o

    ill-being just as it is. We dont magniy it, we dont diminish

    it or pretend its not there. We just look at it as it is and when we

    do that, we accept it. That is the rst step to healing.

    That is what we do with our strong emotions. I there is

    an emotion in us that comes up requently, that blocks our

    way, we acknowledge it just as it is. Loneliness: just as it is.

    Write it down.

    The Way to Ill-BeingNow as youve been practicing looking deeply, youre already

    on your second column. In your unconscious mind the second

    column has already begun to reveal itsel. The second column is

    the way that led to the rst column. That is what Thay was talking

    about yesterday: the Buddha told us that without ood nothing can

    survive.1 No emotion, no physical thing, no psychological state

    can survive without its ood.

    The Buddha said that i you can see the source o the ood thatis eeding your emotion, and you can stop ingesting that particular

    ood, whether its edible ood or the ood o sense impression, then

    youre already liberated, youre already transormed.

    The way is the causes. What are the causes o this ill-being?

    What has led to this ill-being? For each point o ill-being that you

    wrote in the rst column, in the second column you can write down

    the things that are causing it.

    Maybe its what you consume through your mouth. Maybe

    its your misunderstanding o what the practice is; you havent

    understood that the practice is or joy and or healing. Maybe its

    because o what you want, your desires you want to be amous,

    you want to be praised, you want to have a position, or youre araid

    o losing those things. Maybe there are diculties that began in

    your childhood, and you havent yet managed to embrace your

    ve-year-old child ully. These are all ways to the suering or you

    to look into. And, o course, as Thay said yesterday, maybe its the

    television programs, the newspapers, the telephone conversations.

    You can write them down.

    There are two other kinds o ood. Yesterday Thay talked

    about edible ood and the ood o sense impressions. When we

    come to the third exercise, we can mention those other two kinds

    o ood.

    The Way to End the Way to Ill-BeingThe third exercise is the way to well-being, or the way to end

    the way to ill-being. Were not going to just cut the ill-being o,

    to banish it, but we are going to nd out what its causes are. And

    we are going to remove the causes, because we dont want to treat

    the symptoms, we want to treat the roots o our ill-being. So that

    is why sometimes we say, the way to end the way to ill-being

    the way to well-being. The Buddha taught the way to well-being

    as the Noble Eightold Path.

    When you do the third part o the exercise you can use these

    teachings o the Buddha to help you. You adapt each o these

    dharma TALK

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    9/238 Summer 2008

    eight aspects o the Noble Eightold Path to your own sickness,

    your own ill-being.

    Right View

    Right View is the way you have o looking at reality, o looking

    at the world. And the Buddha taught the truth o impermanence,

    the truth o no-sel, and the truth onirvana. I we have right view,there must be the acknowledgment o impermanence, no-sel, and

    nirvana. I there isnt that, then there will be ill-being. So this may

    be part o the cure or some o your ill-being.

    When we are at peace with the impermanence o our health,

    o our lie, then we can do our best to prot rom the days and

    the months that are let to us, in a way that is benecial both or

    ourselves and our descendants. The same is true with the teach-

    ing on no-sel, on not being a separate sel. My happiness is your

    happiness. O course, in my amily relationships, when I see that,

    it will bring much more well-being to mysel and to my amily.

    Nirvana just means not being caught in any views, being ree

    o views. When we are caught in a view, when we must be right

    and were ready to ght and die or our view, we suer a great

    deal. When we despair about the uture o our planet, we can be-

    come very dogmatic and caught in our views, and this puts us at

    odds with other people. The only way that we can save our planet

    is through brotherhood and sisterhood, which means letting go

    o our views. But it doesnt mean we dont care. Seeing that the

    planet is impermanent doesnt mean, we dont care anymore, we

    dont do anything. It means we do everything we can, but we do

    it very peaceully. When we are not caught in our views, it doesntmean we dont see the danger and we dont do everything we can

    to prevent that danger rom happening.

    Right Thinking

    The second aspect is Right Thinking. To be mindul o our

    thinking to know what we are thinking and where our thinking

    is taking us is also important. The way we judge and blame

    other people leads to our ill-being as well as theirs. I we can have

    a compassionate, non-judgmental, non-blaming thought, that is a

    way to our well-being.

    All kinds o thinking we have our complexes, guilt, com-

    paring ourselves with others is linked to our idea o having a

    separate sel. Our constant thinking is a mechanism to keep our

    idea o a separate sel alive.

    The third kind o ood the Buddha taught is linked with

    thinking. It is the ood o intention. The ood o what I intend to

    do, what I decide to do, what I want to do, is sometimes calledvolition. This kind o ood can give us a great deal o energy. To

    explain this kind o ood, the Buddha told a story. Suppose there

    is a young man whos strong and in good health and he lives in a

    town. Outside that town there is a large pit that is lled with red

    hot coals. There are no fames, theyre smokeless because its so

    hot. Every time the young man goes out o the town near that pit

    he eels that its not sae, because i he were to all into that pit o

    coals he would suer a great deal; he could even die. So he decides

    to leave this town and go live in another place where there isnt a

    pit o coals outside. That is the Chinese version.

    The Pali version is a little bit dierent. Theres also a young

    man, hes living in a town, theres also the pit o coals. But he

    doesnt make the decision to go and live somewhere else. There

    are two strong men in the town. They take hold o him and they

    pull him towards the pit, and he didnt want to go there at all, but

    somehow he couldnt stop them. They were much stronger than

    he was. He knew that i he ell into that pit he would not survive

    and he would suer a lot. Still, the two strong men dragged him

    in that direction. This is another rather dramatic and drastic way

    the Buddha had o describing our intention ood. A lot o energy

    can pull us in a direction we dont want to go. These intentionsare not necessarily wholly in our conscious mind. We may have

    things deep down in us driving us in a certain direction without

    even knowing it. For instance, ambition, the desire or ame, the

    desire or money, the desire or sex. All those things can be very

    strong sources o ood.

    In our meditation, when we are making our lists, we need to

    look deeply. What is my deepest desire? What are the things tha

    are pulling me along in my lie? Do I want to be praised? Do I

    want to have a position? Do I want to be useul? These things are

    motivating my way o being.

    The only way that we can save our planet is

    through brotherhood and sisterhood, which

    means letting go of our views.

    photo courtesy of the monastic Sangha

    dharma TALK

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    When we discover what is motivating us, we may be able to

    stop that source o ood and go in a dierent direction to have

    time or our amily, to have time to be in nature, to have time to

    be with our sangha, to build our sangha. Because that is where

    we eel most happy, to be one with our sangha. To be part o the

    sangha body without having an idea o a separate sel. Some people

    might get burned out with leading a sangha sometimes, so we haveto be careul o that also; when we are in sangha, we just be part

    o that sangha, part o the river, part o the fow.

    Right Speech

    The guidelines or Right Speech are given in the Fourth Mind-

    ulness Training: learning how to listen deeply, to speak lovingly.

    Ask yoursel, is this the key to my well-being, in my relations

    with my amily? When I am angry, do I know how to practice the

    Peace Treaty, to calm mysel beore I say anything?2 And also, do

    I know the skillul way to express my anger so that I dont repress

    it? Because repressing anger is also very dangerous.

    So i under the First Noble Truth you wrote down one oyour suerings as anger, then when you come to the Third Noble

    Truth you may like to look at Right Speech as one o the ways

    out o your anger, and not watering these seeds in yoursel and

    in others. When you are angry, you may not spill out your anger

    over someone else, but you can look ater it by your mindul

    breathing, your mindul walking. You can take a walk and accept

    it just as it is. You can embrace it. And then, somehow talk about

    it. Talk about it maybe rst o all in writing. Write down or your

    loved one what happened. Read over the letter to make sure that

    its easy enough or the loved one to accept, that youve talked

    mostly about yoursel, how you eel, without blaming, without

    judging. Put yoursel in the skin o the other person as you read

    the letter. I you are quite sure she could accept it, send it to her.I you are not sure ask a riend who knows you both to read it and

    give his opinion.

    I you can, come directly to your loved one and say, This

    morning I was really upset. I practiced quite a bit, walking and

    breathing, and I know that I cant transorm this upset on my own.

    I wish I could, but I need your help. So please help me. Lets nd

    a time when we can sit down together and you can tell me all

    about what was happening or you when you said that, or when

    you did that. That will help me a lot, not to make the same kind

    o mistake again.

    So this is the practice o Right Speech in order to help us out

    o our suering.

    Right Action

    Ater that we have Right Action. There are three actions, as

    we know: the action o our body, the action o our speech, and

    the action o our mind. Right Thinking and Right View already

    cover the action o our mind. Right Speech covers the action o

    our speech. Thereore Right Action covers the action o our body.

    Right bodily action is very well described in the First, Second,

    Third and Fith Mindulness Trainings.

    We may like to look at Right Action in terms o our consump-

    tion. What kind o edible ood do we consume? Do we consume

    at the right time? Do we eat at the right time? Do we eat in the

    right way, that is, in a peaceul atmosphere, not in a rush? What do

    we eat? I we eat the fesh o a chicken that was raised in a cage,

    we can imagine the suering o that chicken. We know that the

    body and the mind are not two separate things. All the rustrationand despair the chicken must have suered being raised in a cage

    have gone into the fesh o the chicken, and then we eat it. I we

    drink the milk o a cow that has come rom a actory arm, all the

    suering, despair, rage o that cow have gone into the milk. This

    is also something that we ingest.

    So we look at what we eat, how we eat, when we eat. That can

    already help us on the way to well-being o our body and our mind.

    A meal is to nourish us, not only physically. We give ourselves a

    chance to get spiritual nourishment as we eat.

    Then the other points o Right Bodily Action are covered

    by the First Mindulness Training: not harming, protecting lie.

    The Second Mindulness Training covers not taking what is notours, what we dont need. Not over-consuming, not harming the

    environment, which are a kind o stealing. The Third Mindulness

    Training is right conduct in sexual relations. This also leads to our

    happiness and the happiness o our amily.

    Right Livelihood

    Does my proession bring me happiness? Does it bring me a

    lot o stress? Maybe one o the things that you wrote down on the

    First Noble Truth was stress. So now we look at Right Livelihood

    and we ask ourselves, how much stress does our work give us?

    What is our workplace like? Is it a place where we can eel relaxed?

    Do we bring a fower or a green plant to put in our workplace to

    make it somewhere where we can relax and we can breathe? How

    can we make our workplace a non-stressul place? How can we

    do the kind o work that nourishes our compassion, so that when

    we come to work we can look at our co-workers with the eyes o

    love and we can care about them? When we say in the morning,

    How are you?, some people dont expect an answer to that, they

    just carry on walking. How are you? and the other person says,

    How are you? Even when I went to the doctor one time he said,

    How are you? and he expected me to say, Fine. But the reason

    I went to him was because I wasnt ne.

    When we go to work, what we can do is ask, How are you?

    and we really mean it. I want to hear how you are. Did you sleep

    well last night? and so on, because I care about you. Then ourworkplace begins to have more compassion in it.

    Right Eort

    Then we have the practice o Right Eort. This is also con-

    nected with another kind o ood. In order to be able to talk about

    the ourth kind o ood the ood o consciousness I need to

    draw that circle on the board.

    Store consciousness stores all the seeds, every possible seed

    o every possible emotion in latent orm. They may never maniest

    in your lietime, but that doesnt mean to say theyre not available.

    dharma TALK

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    11/2310 Summer 2008

    I the causes and conditions were right, they would maniest in

    mind consciousness. Every individual, as we call our sel, has

    access to the collective consciousness, which is also called store,

    unconscious mind, background consciousness.

    There are our parts to Right Eort, and they all have to do

    with the seeds that are in the store consciousness.

    1. The seeds in store consciousness that I need or well-being

    and have not yet maniested. I shall make the eort, I shall practice

    to help them maniest.

    2. The seeds in store consciousness that are or my well-

    being and the well-being o others that have already maniested

    and are already maniesting. I will make the eort to keep them

    maniesting.

    3. The seeds in my store consciousness that are not benecial

    or my well-being and that havent maniested yet. I will not waterthem and help them to maniest.

    4. The seeds o my store consciousness that are not benecial

    or my well-being, that have already maniested. I will help them

    to transorm and go back to the dormant position in the store

    consciousness.

    Theres no idea o destroying seeds, but helping seeds to

    maniest or helping seeds to be dormant. What this means is

    strengthening seeds or allowing them to weaken.

    One o the teachings o Buddhism is that the longer a seed

    remains in the mind consciousness that is, maniesting in our

    mental ormations the stronger it becomes. And i its repeat-edly maniesting, it will become stronger. This is very clear. I you

    want to learn how to sing a song, the rst time you sing the song

    the seed o that song is very weak in your mind consciousness.

    You quickly orget the song. But when youve sung, Breathing in,

    breathing out, I am blooming as a fower, seven or eight times on

    dierent occasions, then it will be very strong. Whenever you need

    that song you just have to call on it and it will come up without

    you having to think about it.

    But the same is true with our anger. I we rehearse our anger

    oten, it will become much stronger and it will come up more

    easily. So the idea is not to rehearse our anger, which is harmul

    or ourselves and harmul or others. It doesnt mean repressing

    our anger. It must be expressed, but it must be expressed in the

    right way, that is benecial.

    So this is the ood o consciousness, the last kind o ood

    The Buddha gave another very drastic example.

    One Hundred Stab WoundsThere is a criminal, and hes committed a very serious crime

    The king sends his soldiers out to arrest the criminal. They nd

    him, they arrest him, and they bring him back to the king. Your

    majesty, what should we do with this man?

    The king gave orders. He should be stabbed one hundred

    times.

    So the next morning he was stabbed one hundred times

    At noon the king asked, What happened this morning to that

    criminal?

    They said, Well, we did stab him one hundred times, but

    he didnt die.

    The king said, Then he should be stabbed another hundred

    times.

    So they stabbed him another hundred times. And then the

    king asked them, and again they said he didnt die. The third time

    he said, Stab him a hundred times. So they stabbed him another

    hundred times.

    The Buddha asked his monks, Monks, do you think that

    man suered?

    The monks said, Lord Buddha, to be stabbed a hundred times

    that kind o suering is unbearable, unthinkable. But to be stabbed

    three hundred times successively, that is beyond belie.

    So the Buddha said, That is the ood o consciousness.

    To give an example o what is meant: The human species

    is a very young species, the youngest species on this planet. Fo

    the human species to be here, there must have been all the other

    species that went beore. In our genetic makeup (according to

    Buddhism our genetic makeup is not just our physiology, its also

    our psychology; I dont know i scientists agree with that, but to

    me its clear because the body and the mind are not two dierent

    things) all the animal species, the plant species, the mineral species

    theyre part o us, theyre part o our genetic inheritance.

    Consciousness was there in dierent living beings beorethe human species arose. Physically in our brain you can see

    that the brain stem and other parts o our brain, apart rom the

    neocortex, also belong to the animal species. I you remember

    the time beore you were a human being, you were a little sh

    swimming in the sea, and one day a big sh came up behind you

    with its mouth open and caught the little sh, ate it. The little sh

    was very araid, and that is like a stab wound in consciousness

    When you developed into a kind o land species, you were chased

    by the big animals. So that was another stab wound, maybe the

    same place as the rst stab wound. It is much more painul when

    youre stabbed twice in the same place.

    Seeds

    Mind

    Store

    Consciousness

    Seed Manifestingas Mental Formation

    dharma TALK

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    Now youre a human being, and those wounds, those stab-

    bings, theyre still there. I youre not careul with the ood o

    consciousness, you can be stabbed in the same place again. It

    may not be ear o the big sh, it may be ear o terrorists; somany things we can be araid o. Maybe when you wrote down

    the First Noble Truth exercise, one o the things you wrote down

    was ear. So now you have a chance to look at your Right Eort,

    the ood o consciousness. How do you allow that ear in your

    consciousness to get stabbed again? What do you do? How can

    you practice Right Eort to avoid the stab wound, to avoid water-

    ing the seed o ear?

    In the same way, the anger may have been there or a very

    long time. Now when it comes up into your mind consciousness,

    you know that you can take care o it with Right Eort. With the

    practice o mindulness every day, you can learn how to breathe

    and how to take care o the seed o anger when it maniests, the

    seed o despair when it maniests.

    Very oten, not doing anything when we are overwhelmed by

    a strong emotion, that is the Right Eort. The Right Eort isnt

    necessarily to eel you have to do something, you have to solve the

    problem, but just to be able to sit there, do nothing, and embrace

    the emotion. Above all, we need to have time or it. We dont have

    time to look ater our emotions. So either we repress them and send

    them back a little bit stronger into our consciousness until they

    explode, or we want to resolve them quickly, so we vent them or

    we rehearse them. So Right Eort means to give yoursel plenty

    o time to look ater your emotion.

    When I have a strong emotion I say to it, Dear one, you havethe right to be there because you are caused and conditioned, and

    once the cause and condition are there, theres no way I can stop

    you rom being there. So you have the right to be there. And I

    know youre impermanent, you wont always be there, but I dont

    know quite how long youre going to be around. Never mind.

    I you want to be around three days, its okay. I you want to be

    around three hours, its okay. As long as you want to be around,

    Im here looking ater you.

    Im here doesnt really mean me, it means that other seeds

    in my consciousness like compassion, care, mindulness are go-

    ing to be there.

    Right Mindulness and Right Concentration

    Right Mindulness means living deeply the present moment,

    being aware o what is happening. That can heal so many things .

    Right Concentration is an extension o Right Mindulness. Itmeans giving our whole attention to an appropriate object o our

    perception in order to discover more o its reality.

    Thay has said each step can heal, each breath can heal. Right

    Mindulness is to be aware o the wonderul things in lie. You

    may ask yoursel, why didnt the Buddha have Right Happiness

    as one o the Noble Eightold Path? Its really there, although its

    not expressed. Because in Right Mindulness there is Right Hap-

    piness. When we are aware o everything that is nourishing and

    wonderul in lie, it brings us a very deep happiness.

    Finally, how can Right Concentration and Right Mindulness

    help us? You might like to write down how youre going to realize

    the practice o these things in your daily lie when you go home.

    What place are you going to always walk with concentration and

    mindulness, to become your walking meditation path on a daily

    basis? What time are you going to use or sitting meditation, to be

    able to concentrate? What time are you going to put aside or being

    with your amily, or using loving speech with your amily, or

    expressing your appreciation o your children and your spouse?

    All these intentions can be written down in the third exercise.

    As we said, when you begin to practice the third exercise, well-

    being is already there. Because there is no way to well-being.

    Well-being is the way.

    Sister Annabel Laity, True Vir tue, was abbess of Green MountainDharma Center in Vermont; she is now in Europe helping Thich

    Nhat Hanh start the European Institute of Applied Buddhism.

    [1] For an in-depth teaching on the four kinds of nutriments, see ChapterSeven ofThe Heart o the Buddhas Teachings by Thich Nhat Hanh(Broadway, 1999).

    [2] Several versions of the Peace Treaty, including a Peace Treaty foroneself and for couples, can be found in various books by Thich NhatHanh including Creating True Peace (Free Press, 2004) and Friendson the Path: Living Spiritual Communities, compiled by Jack Lawlor(Parallax Press, 2002).

    Our constant thinking is a

    mechanism to keep our idea

    of a separate self alive.

    photo courtesy of the monastic Sangha

    dharma TALK

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    T

    wars AFTERMATH

    The road rom Hue to Dong Ha snakes through villages and

    countryside, bounded on each side by ankle-deep foodwaters.

    On this day in October 2007, the rainy season in Central Vietnam

    is, thankully, coming to an end. The annual fooding has been

    particularly heavy this year, with more than orty people having

    lost their lives.

    As I stare out the car window, we make slow but steady prog-

    ress, passing cement-block homes, most o which are painted only

    on the ront. Occasional crudely constructed kiosks display Coca-

    Cola products, sweets, and cigarettes, inches rom the highway.

    Three Americans with a Vietnamese driver, we have been

    invited to visit the Quang Tri Province oces o the Vietnam

    Veterans Memorial Fund, an American non-governmental organiza-tion (NGO). We want to hear a rst-hand report on Project Renew,

    which works with those who continue to suer the eects o a war

    that has, or many, never really ended.

    I have lived in Hanoi or more than three years, very much at

    home and at ease with the people and the rhythm o lie. I under-

    stand I am not separate rom what I see. Ater all I, too, am a child

    o a war. Mine was between mother and ather. Their war let me

    with many wounds. I am grateul or those early years o confict,

    or they determined my purpose in this Lie. With the help o the

    Buddha, the Dharma, the Sangha, I continue to work to transorm

    the violence o the past inside me and around me.

    A

    War IsNever

    OverBy Trish Thompson

    I am keenly aware of the suffering, then, there, here, now. Where does

    it begin? Where does it end?

    The Ravages o WarDuring the Vietnam War (here called the American War)

    Quang Tri was one o several provinces that included, or were near

    the ocial line separating the Communist North and the American

    backed South. The Ben Hai River served as the ocial boundary

    or divided Vietnam since 1954. By the mid-sixties, troops o both

    the North and the South, including American Marines, were based

    on either side o the confict-ree Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) tha

    included the river.

    This concentration o troops and supplies attracted some o

    the heaviest ghting o the war. These provinces were the target

    o more bombs than were dropped during all o World War II, in

    both the European and Pacic war zones. In addition, the deadly

    chemical Dioxin (Agent Orange) was heavily sprayed over much

    o the area to expose anything that moved on the ground, thereby

    aiding the work o the bombers overhead.

    From the appearance o the land, which was once lush jungle

    the deoliation eort was successul thirty-three years later, the

    Earth continues to recover rom the abuse o those years o war.

    Unexploded Live Ordinance (UXO)My riends have grown quiet. They, too, are concentrated on

    the scenes that in some cases literally foat by. Though this is thei

    rst trip to this area, no commentary is needed; the landscape say

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    wars AFTERMATH

    it all. For me, in spite o my eorts to remain in the present mo-

    ment, memories o my initial trip to this area rise to the surace.

    It was during Thays 2005 trip to his homeland. An OI brother,

    Je Nielsen, has arranged or some o us to slip away as the inter-

    national Sangha enjoys a Lazy Day in Hue. Je is a veteran who

    has made many trips to Quang Tri, the rst while in uniorm. With

    us is a Vietnamese university student. She tells us that many people

    will not visit the countryside o the province. They are disturbed

    by the presence o the wandering souls o those who died here. I

    am silent, as are my brothers and sisters.

    In Dong Ha, Je takes us to the Center or Peace Trees, a

    tree-planting project, supported by American veterans. We are told

    o their attempts to educate local youth in how to recognize and

    avoid contact with the various orms o unexploded, live ordinance

    (UXO) which lie hidden in the soil o Quang Tri. I am shocked by

    this inormation, which is new to me. The numbers are staggering:

    32,000 Vietnamese citizens have been injured by UXO since the

    shooting stopped. Most have been maimed orever. Some have

    died. The majority are children.

    We practice walking meditation among the dried leaves in

    ront o the center. I recognize the eelings. They take me to another

    time and place 1971, and I am in Dachau on a snowy day. We

    are our, with one caretaker, and the thousands o souls whose

    moans seem to foat through the silent air. I am keenly aware o

    the suering, then, there, here, now. Where does it begin? Where

    does it end?

    Reasons or HopeAs the driver avoids the potholes, memory takes me once

    again to that day in 2005, on the old Ho Chi Minh Trail, a modern

    quiet highway stretching to the border with Laos. We stop to talk

    with a group o eleven men who are nishing their days work.

    Four days each week, they search with metal detectors or UXO.

    Some are easily located, exposed by recent rains. Others must be

    dug rom the ground. Once dismantled, these bombs o various

    sizes and shapes are hauled away, to be detonated each Friday. The

    group oreman, a German man who previously worked to locate

    land mines in Bosnia, has been doing this work in Vietnam or

    our years. He says the previous week was a light one, yieldingonly 263 bombs. Even though many such teams do this work, it

    will take more than 100 years to clear Vietnam o UXO. How to

    respond to that announcement? We thank the men or their courage

    and commitment, and continue our journey through a countryside

    o new-growth trees and hills that once witnessed and survived

    the terrible suering o mans war against man.

    We enter the streets o Dong Ha and make our way to the

    project oce. We spend a pleasant two hours, listening to sta,

    asking questions, and viewing a DVD that tells the story o Project

    Renew. While their search-and-destroy program or clearing the

    land o UXO is a major thrust, they also oer direct assistance to

    those who continue to suer the eects o the war. Their prosthe-sis program has helped thousands who have lost limbs through

    contact with explosives, and their mushroom-arming program is

    providing jobs. I am so impressed by the proessionalism o the

    sta and their enthusiasm or their work.

    Later in the day, we begin our return trip to Hue. As I refect

    on all we have seen and heard, I eel happy. True, we have seen that

    a war, once begun, seems to never end. But equally true, we have

    seen that one day love and compassion also appear.

    Trish Thompson, True

    Concentration on Peace,

    lives in Hanoi where shepractices with the Hanoi

    Community for MindfulLiving.

    The numbers are staggering: 32,000 Vietnamese citizens have been

    injured by UXO since the shooting stopped. Most have been maimed

    forever. Some have died. The majority are children.

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    15/2314 Summer 2008

    photo collage by Paul Davi

    wars AFTERMATH

    Question

    Marine, why are you in my country?

    You tell me you are here to save me.

    I dont believe you.

    Marine, you are not listening to me.

    I dont hate you and your eyes tell me

    you dont hate me.

    Marine, why are you in my country?

    Open your eyes. What keeps my words

    from reaching your heart?Why did you kill me?

    Why did I kill you?

    I died before you knew me.

    You died before you understood.

    Come to me open your heart.

    I will hold you and you will know me

    and understand.

    Paul Davis

    Paul Davis, Authentic Connection o the

    Heart, read this poem last year at the retreat in

    Stonehill. He explains: In 1965, as a nineteen-year-old Marine, I went to Vietnam knowing little

    about life and nothing about the Vietnamese

    people and culture. My belief system, developed

    as a child in rural America in the 1950s, sheltered

    me from seeing the reality of that war. However,

    at a deeper level my experiences in Vietnam

    were being stored. Later, as my desire to look

    deeply grew and as my heart opened, I was able

    to reexamine my experience. Several years ago

    while on retreat with Thay and the Sangha, I

    wrote this poem. It was inspired by a question a

    young Vietnamese girl asked me in 1966 and I

    wrote it in her voice.

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    16/23the Mindulness Bell 15

    photo courtesy of the monastic Sangha

    E

    Recognizing these forces and calling them by their true names is to span

    a bridge into the deep consciousness, so that the dead in the living can

    live with lightness, and so that the living in the dead can truly live.

    During Thich Nhat Hanhs trip to Vietnam in early 2007, several Great

    Requiem Ceremonies were held, to help heal the wounds of war. Here,

    Sister Dang Nghiem continues her recollections of those powerful events

    and the deep transformation she experienced. (See part one of her article

    in the Autumn 2007 issue).

    Each day when a ceremony began, the monastic Sangha would

    do walking meditation rom outside the ancestral hall to the ront

    courtyard, then to the main hall o Temple Vinh Nghiem (Adorn-

    ment with Eternity). Sixty young monks rom Prajna Temple

    walked in ront, holding up ceremonial instruments, ollowed bythe Chanting Master o Ceremony (Venerable Le Trang), Thay,

    the assisting chanting monks, the musicians, the high venerables,

    and over two hundred monks and nuns rom Plum Village, Prajna,

    and Tu Hieu.

    Thousands o people watched the procession in complete

    silence and respect. Most ceremonies took place in the main hall,

    and lay people could only observe them by looking in or by watch-

    ing two big screens in the courtyard. Still, everyone participated

    wholeheartedly and oered up their concentrated energies to the

    souls o the departed. Some people had wondered why Thay, a Zen

    master, would have these ceremonies perormed in the Vajrayana

    (Tantric) tradition. Suddenly, I appreciated the wonderul meaning

    o skillul means. With certainty, thousands o beginners like

    me would not be able to meditate and concentrate their minds

    continuously or three days, but they could more easily ollow

    these Tantric ceremonies and bene t rom them.

    I Stand StillMy thorax eels like a heavy cement block. The in-breaths

    and out-breaths are super cial and laborious. I intentionally make

    my abdomen rise and all, but oxygen seems not to have enough

    space to enter the lower parts o the lungs. Strange, I had assistedin surgical procedures that were eight to ten hours long when I

    did have back pain and abdominal pain, but I never experienced

    chest pain like this. I relax my shoulders and arms, and I continue

    to ollow my breathing.

    The powerul chanting o the monks stirs my deep conscious-

    ness: I see thousands o skeleton gures standing on the water and

    heading towards the shore without moving. The immense ocean

    is without waves. Everything about those skeletons and about

    the space around them is gray and oggy. Suddenly, I realize that

    I saw these images teen years ago, when I was still a medical

    student at UCSF. There were aternoons when I wandered aimlessly

    wars AFTERMATH

    Spanning a BridgeFor Love to Deepen

    By Sister Dang Nghiem

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    17/2316 Summer 2008

    photo courtesy of the monastic Sangha

    She worked for American soldie

    and me Amerasian children w

    along the beach. I stood watching those gray skeleton gures,

    not knowing how they were related to me and to the pervasive

    sadness always haunting me. I had written about them in a poem,

    titled Dreams:

    These days my limbs guide me near the waters.

    The sky is gray.

    Still, the waves are grayer.

    I see stick fgures through the mist.

    Forever claimed by the sea,

    They walk without moving.

    Something whispers:

    Walk straight. Walk straight.

    My heart pulsates, but I am drawn to silence.

    I also see people alling down in an open eld; I see little

    children screaming wide-mouthed and lying exhausted on their

    mothers corpses; I see a naked woman curling up in a bush; I see

    layers o people stacked on each other. I see.

    I continue to ollow my breathing. I did not know that these

    images and the innumerable possible deaths were stored in my

    consciousness. Everything I had ever seen, heard, and perceived;

    everything my parents, ancestors and society had ever seen, heard,and perceived they all have been imprinted in my mind. Tears

    stream down. Sweat oozes in big droplets, even rom places I had

    not known could perspire. My whole body seems to be excreting,

    and puriying.

    For My Mother in Me

    I stand still. So that the young girl in my mother can be ab-

    solved rom injustice. That young girl had let her arid homeland

    Quang Ngai to go to Saigon or work. She became a maid, and

    she saved every penny to send home to her mother. Each night,

    the owner came to her little corner at the back o the house. She

    curled up under her bamboo bed, but he would not let her be. He

    used a broom to poke her and get her out. The young girl wandered

    on the street; her education was minimal, she had no skills, and

    circumstances pushed her as they had pushed countless young girls

    in war time. She worked or American soldiers, and she gave birth

    to my brother and me Amerasian children who did not know

    their athers aces. Then she became mistress to a rich old man

    in order to take care o her children and relatives.

    There were times when my mother would yell at me and beat

    me up as i I were her enemy. Aterwards, while I was sleeping

    she would rub green oil on my bruises and cry. Her dream was to

    go to America, and all she thought about was leaving. One day in

    May 1980, my mother went to the market or work as usual, bu

    she never came back. She disappeared at the age o thirty-six. I

    was only twelve. I remember squatting on the toilet seat, thinking

    Good, rom now on she will not abuse me anymore!

    For My Father in My Brother

    I stand still. So that the ather inside my brother can be ab-

    solved rom injustice. My brother was born with blond hair and

    air skin. He was so beautiul that I used to wrap the embroideredtablecloth around his ace and body. He looked like a princess and

    I carried him on my hip everywhere. Yet children in the neighbor

    hood yelled at him, Amerasian with twelve butt holes! They

    spit on him; they made him the American prisoner in their war

    games. Sending him to the United States was like severing her own

    intestines, but my grandmother was well aware that i my brother

    had remained in Vietnam, he would be teased and shamed and

    exploited his whole lie.

    When he got to the United States, children in school yelled

    at him, V.C. go home! because he did not speak any English

    Like a wounded animal, my brother lashed out in ury and beat

    up those kids with all his might. The psychologist diagnosed himas having uncontrolled extreme anger. The United States gov-

    ernment paid money to put my brother in a rehabilitation center

    or rich kids who had problems with drug addiction, gang, and

    other violence. My brother is thirty-ve years old now, and he is

    built like a ootball player. In his house, there are over sixty guns

    o dierent sizes; stacks o bullets lie all over the room. He is a

    licensed gun dealer. In his house, there are over a hundred video

    about the Vietnam War and other violent crimes. My brother can-

    not sleep without the television on all night. His eyes are gentle

    and bright, and he smiles oten. Yet, my brothers mind has a dark

    side, which continues to damage and torment him.

    wars AFTERMATH

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    photo courtesy of the monastic Sangha

    nd she gave birth to my brother

    d not know their fathers faces.

    Tears stream down, but I do not suer. I give thanks to Thay.

    He was able to untie the knots in himsel, so that today he can

    establish Requiem Ceremonies to Pray Equally or All People and

    to Untie the Knots o Injustice in them creating the avorable

    conditions or his disciples and his people to uproot and remove

    these deep internal ormations.

    Sister Dang Nghiem currently lives at Deer Park Monastery;before she became a nun she was a medical doctor.

    For My Uncles

    I stand still. So that my uncles can be absolved rom injustice.

    My eldest uncle (Uncle Number Two) ran away rom home to the

    North to become a Communist. Every so oten, soldiers o the

    [South] Vietnam Republic would call my grandmother to their

    post, beating her and harassing her about my uncle. Ater the

    all o Vietnam Republic in 1975, my uncle returned to look or

    his mother and siblings. He brought with him a white pillowcase

    with red words Returning to Motherland; he had embroidered

    it while he was serving on the Ho Chi Minh Trail. My uncle en-thusiastically took my grandmother to the North to meet his wie

    and three children. However, he died within six months. Years

    o suering rom malnutrition, bouts o malaria, tons o bombs

    and chemical warare had damaged his heart, lungs, liver, and

    intestines. My grandmother had to return to the South alone, too

    stunned to cry.

    My youngest uncle (Uncle Number Six) ran away rom home

    to go to Saigon when he was thirteen years old. Not being able to

    nd my mother, he lived on the streets, polishing shoes, stealing

    things, involved in reckless sexual activities, and later he joined

    the Vietnam Republic Army. Ater the all o [South] Vietnam, my

    mother sent him to a distant armland, so that he could avoid thecommunist rehabilitation camp. He got involved in drinking and

    womanizing again. The neighbors were angry, and they turned him

    in to the police. My uncle escaped rom prison, swimming over

    twenty-ve kilometers along the river to reach my grandmothers

    house. My uncle died beore he turned ty-ve. Cigarettes, liquor,

    and women had drained all o his lie energy.

    For All the Dead

    And I stand still. So that the Vows to the Dead and the compas-

    sionate energy o the Three Jewels can absolve injustice or all my

    people the people with names but bodies unound, and the people

    with bodies but names untraceable. Dying in injustice, and livingin repression. Whether or not living people like me are aware, the

    injustice endured by the dead continues to be choked and repressed

    in our consciousness. Sometimes we can only breathe at the neck

    or chest level; our bodies are tense and restless. Sometimes we

    eel stressed and agitated. We do not understand at times why we

    think, speak, and behave so negatively and cynically. The undercur-

    rents rom countless generations, although invisible, still ravage

    our lives. Recognizing these orces and calling them by their true

    names is to span a bridge into the deep consciousness, so that the

    dead in the living can live with lightness, and so that the living in

    the dead can truly live.

    wars AFTERMATH

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    T

    photo courtesy of the monastic Sangha

    wars AFTERMATH

    The question is asked requently o middle-aged American male

    visitors, Is this your rst time in Vietnam? It generally means,

    Did you ght in the war?

    My spouse and I were asked the same question by the U.S.

    Senator who sat next to us at breakast in the Hanoi hotel in which

    we were all staying. The depth o our answers depends upon the

    questioner.

    With Senator Jim Webb (D-VA), who was visiting Southeast

    Asia with his Vietnamese wie, and who oered that he had ought

    in DaNang, our next destination, we simply said, yes. I explained

    that I was in Hong Kong to do a series o presentations to Wall

    Street executives on gay workplace issues, and that we came to see

    Vietnam and Cambodia because we had heard they were beauti-

    ul countries. That was the truth, but the answer was incomplete.

    We didnt want to agitate his painul memories, evidenced by the

    ever-so-subtle wince I witnessed when we mentioned DaNang

    Knowing how emotionally torn and scarred Vietnam vets can be

    I generally say very little in their presence about my early and

    consistent perspective on that war.

    To our Vietnamese questioners, however, I quickly and gladly

    explained that yes, this was our rst visit, and that we both hadactively and vigorously opposed the war. I, in act, was a conscien-

    tious objector, a status that was achieved ater a hard-ought battle

    with my drat board and with my amily, that was inspired by my

    spiritual belies, and that I have never regretted. The Vietnamese

    regardless o age or gender, always smiled and enthusiastically

    said thank you.

    A Difcult PositionIt was remarkable and surprising how good their response

    made me eel. It was nearly orty years ago that I passionately

    marched, wrote, and voted against the war. I had imagined tha

    my eelings about the personal and national confict would havebeen orgotten or ir retrievably buried.

    My unfinching public opposition to the war in 1970 was

    conceived and nurtured by, among other actors, my attraction

    to the Sermon on the Mount, the lives o Gandhi and Francis o

    Assisi, the books Mr. Blue andHiroshima, the protest olk songs

    o the 1960s, the courage o the Berrigan brothers, and the sel-

    sacrice o Thich Quang Duc, the sixty-six-year-old Buddhis

    monk who sel-immolated on the streets o Saigon. My idealism

    at the time elt very strong, pure, and just. Yet, my position was

    painully called into question by my love or a cousin who was a

    helicopter pilot in the war, by riendship with raternity brothers

    who were in ROTC, by romantic patriotism, by admiration or the

    sacrices made by those who ought against the atrocities o the

    Nazis. I also harbored doubts about my answer to the drat board

    that I couldnt respond to their hypothetical question: would I use

    orce to stop someone rom raping my mother?

    Spending several days in DaNang, refecting on what Ameri-

    cans call the Vietnam War and the Vietnamese call the American

    War, can be a deeply challenging, but nevertheless healing process

    both or those Americans my age who ought in it and or those

    o us who ought against it. But they are eelings that we have

    rarely talked about to each other. Im just assuming that Senator

    Webb would have been pained by my early resistance to the war

    just as Im assuming that he lacked any awareness o how deeply

    aected people like me were by those times.

    Losing PeaceWhen I walked in the sur outside our luxury hotel, among

    teenagers playing soccer, I tried to imagine what it might have been

    like or my peer group in 1970 when I did my alternative service

    at a Catholic newspaper in Michigan. Many o them served and

    died where I was now vacationing.

    My ather walked in the sur with me during my silent re-

    fections. Though he has been dead or a dozen years, I elt his

    presence powerully. Dad was so completely embarrassed and

    A Conscientious Objector is Asked,

    First Time in

    Vietnam?By Brian McNaught

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    20/23the Mindulness Bell 19

    wars AFTERMATH

    ashamed by my reusal to ght in the war that at age ty-seven

    he threatened to either commit suicide or re-enlist in the Navy. His

    very angry glare at me at that moment remains one o my most

    enduring memories o him.

    Though I didnt lose my lie, a limb, or my sanity as a result

    o the war, as so many others my age did, I lost the respect o my

    ather and o many o his generation. I also lost the peace in myown lie that I sought to secure or others by my actions. Once I

    let the comortable environs o my socially conscious, Catholic

    college campus and entered the multi-generational work world,

    I was immediately immersed in an emotionally-ractured culture

    populated by riends who had lost riends or sons in the war.

    Debating the wars merits with them or with others never seemed

    like a mindul thing to do. I lived in ear o exacerbating the pain

    o others in my youthul need to justiy my position. I thus lived

    alone with the most soul-searing and divisive public position I

    had ever dared to take.

    As I made my way down the beach at DaNang, imagining

    battleships and machine-gun re, I wondered i my athers per-spective on the war and on my decision had changed with time.

    We never talked about it. It seemed no one wanted to talk about

    it. The past was best let in the past.

    Even though reminders o the war abound in this country,

    rom the concrete bunkers that dot the landscape to the 400,000

    children disabled by Agent Orange, Vietnam is healing and thriv-

    ing. The war that did so much damage to their amilies and to

    mine is not on the minds o those who are thirty years old and

    younger. These baby boomers talk enthusiastically about their

    utures, wave and smile happily in response to riendly gestures

    rom Americans, and reer excitedly to what they recently read

    on AOL about US-Vietnamese economic cooperation. The past isindeed past or them, even i they are curious about that o their

    middle-aged male visitors.

    From Vietnam to IraqHere at home in the States, young ones are thinking about the

    Iraq war, which our government calls nation building and the

    Iraqis call the American occupation. There is no drat today, so

    young people in the U.S. are not orced by law to make lie-altering

    moral decisions about the war in Iraq or any other military venture.

    They dont have to ght to prove to a doubting drat board that

    they are truly conscientious objectors. This is a good thing in many

    ways, as it rees them to pursue countless other means o making

    a contribution to society. On the other hand, being orced to takea personal moral position on war is not bad or the soul.

    I today I was orced to make a decision about ghting in Iraq,

    my position would be guided by the Tao Te Ching, the teachings o

    the Buddha, the writings o Thich Nhat Hanh and Pema Chodron,

    and by my personal experience o creating my own suering and

    my own happiness. I would still choose to be a conscientious

    objector but at age sixty, Im ar less romantic and idealistic

    than I was at age twenty, ar more able to see the shades o gray.

    I can see how situations can dictate personal ethics. I would, or

    instance, now state clearly to the drat board that I would protect

    my mother or any person rom being raped or assaulted, by any

    means possible, even i it meant losing my conscientious objec-

    tor status. On the other hand, Im ar more conscious and careul

    today about protecting the lie o spiders, fies, ants, and worms

    than I was in my late teens and early twenties.

    Though I dont have children o my own, I do have a young

    nephew who has decided to enlist in the Marines as soon as he

    graduates rom high school next year. Davids decision does notembarrass or anger me. He will never have to recall a searing

    glare rom me. But I do eel that he is ar too young to make a

    mature decision about participating in a war and Im at a loss on

    how to help him understand the lielong emotional ramications

    o that action.

    I dont know how David eels about the prospect o going

    to Iraq, or what prompted his decision to become a Marine.

    Were not that close. I do know that hes really good at paint ball

    competition and that he imagines he will be very good with a

    gun. Hes the product o a single-parent household and he needs

    discipline, a college education, and a secure nancial uture, like

    so many o his peers who enlist not to ght in Iraq but to survivein the United States.

    For whatever reason one decides to ght or not ght in a

    war, regardless o whether or not there is a drat, the eects o the

    choices we make in our youth will impact us prooundly or the

    rest o our lives. Forty years rom now, when my nephew David

    visits the Middle East as a middle-aged tourist, he will undoubt-

    edly be asked, Is this your rst time in Iraq? Its my hope that

    his answer, and those o his generation, brings orth in him and

    in his questioner eelings o peace.

    Brian McNaught is a best-selling author and a corporatediversity consultant on gay and transgender issues

    in the workplace. He and his spouse, Ray Struble,divide their time between Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, and

    Provincetown, Massachusetts.

    pullouts?

    Though I didnt lose my lie, a limb, or my sanity as a result

    o the war, as so many others my age did, I lost the respect o my

    ather and o many o his generation.

    Today Im ar less romantic and idealistic than I was at age

    twenty, ar more able to see the shades o gray.

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    I

    I was deeply touched recently by a book calledAt Hells Gate: A Soldiers Jour-

    ney rom War to Peace. The author, Claude Anshin Thomas, describes in detai

    the suering he has experienced as a Vietnam veteran [see excerpt].

    The description o his suering made me look more deeply into the experi

    ences o a soldier. I tried to imagine how it would eel to be trained as a killer

    at the age o eighteen. How it would eel to kill another human being. How it

    would eel to watch my riends die in ront o me, or to watch children die as a

    result o the military action in which I was involved. How it would eel to live

    in ear o violent death on a day-to-day basis.

    Looking deeply at these things helped me to understand the suering on

    a dierent level. I realized, or example, that I could not even begin to think o

    how I would reconcile the thoughts and emotions around killing another human

    being, let alone many human beings. I know that labeling the people I killed as

    enemy would not bring me comort in the long run. I know the energy o those

    actions would continue with me in some orm as long as I lived.

    Anshin Thomas also oers his opinion that the United States, as a peoplenever really took responsibility or the Vietnam War. Most people viewed the

    war as distant and unconnected to their day-to-day lives. They did not recognize

    that it was their liestyles that supported the institutions o war. And, or the mos

    part, they did not oer support or the veterans o the war, or or the victims o

    the war in Vietnam.

    All o this got me to thinking about the war in Iraq, and my connection to

    that war. I realize that I have not really taken responsibility or my connection

    to that war. I ollow the news about Iraq, and rown at it. I think rom time to

    time about the tragedy o the war, and how I disagree with the U.S. government

    position on the war.

    Claude AnshinThomas came

    home from the

    war in Vietnam

    in 1967. In the

    years following his

    military service,

    his life spiraled

    downward into

    post-traumatic

    stress, drug

    and alcohol

    addiction, and

    homelessness,

    but his life turnedaround when

    he discovered

    Buddhism. Zen,

    he found, offered

    him a path toward

    healing, a practical way to cope with his suffering rather

    than run from it. The following took place in 1990, when

    Thomas attended a meditation retreat for Vietnam veterans

    led by Thich Nhat Hanh.

    I drove to the retreat on my motorcycle. At that time I

    was riding a black Harley Davidson. I was dressed in

    a typical ashion or me: black leather jacket, black

    boots, black helmet, gold mirror glasses, and a red

    bandanna tied around my neck. My style o dress

    was not exactly warm and welcoming. The way I

    presented mysel was intended to keep people away,

    because I was scared, really scared.

    I arrived at the retreat early so I could check

    the place out. Beore I could think about anything,

    I walked the perimeter o the whole place: Where

    are the boundaries? Where are the dangerous places

    where Im vulnerable to attack? Coming here thrust

    me into the unknown, and or me the unknown meant

    war. And to be with so many people I didnt knowwas terriying to me, and the eeling o terror also

    meant war.

    Ater my recon I went down to the registration

    desk and asked where the camping area was, because

    I didnt want to camp where anyone else was camp-

    ing. I was much too rightened to be near so many

    strangers. This time each day, sunset, was lled with

    ear ear o ambush, ear o attack, ear o war

    exploding at any moment. Rationally I knew that

    these things wouldnt happen, but these ears, like

    the reality o war, are not rational.

    I am not interested in action th

    encourages anger or division, but I would l

    the voices of non-violence and compass

    to be heard.

    wars AFTERMATH

    The Light at theTip of the CandleBy Claude Anshin Thomas

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    What Sacrif ces?But I havent really done anything about it. My liestyle has not changed

    one bit since the war started. I have not had to make any sacri ces as a result o

    the war. I have not attempted in any way to help those who have been impacted

    by the war. And I havent gotten involved in the political process to help shape

    the U.S. governments position on the war. So, Ive decided that it is time orme to do a ew things with respect to the war in Iraq.

    First, I am determined to keep in touch with the suering o the U.S. service

    men and women in Iraq and with the suering o the Iraqis and others impacted

    by the war. This does not mean that I cant enjoy my idyllic lie in Boulder, or

    that I should be remorseul or angry. But it does mean that I need to cultivate a

    sense o connectedness to what is happening. And I will try and nd a way to

    have some direct interaction with those who are suering.

    Second, I am determined to nd a way to help those who are impacted by

    the war. I will need to explore this in coming months, but it will at least include

    donating time and/or money to charities that are involved in assisting veterans

    and Iraqis.

    Finally, I am determined to get more involved in the political process in the

    U.S. I am still eeling my way around this one, as I dont want to create more

    aggression through political action. I do not believe in denouncing others or

    their views. I am not interested in action that encourages anger or division, but

    I would like the voices o non-violence and compassion to be heard.

    Taking ActionI am still in the process o exploring how I can best turn my expressed

    intentions into action. As a rst step, I shared my concerns by e-mail with am-

    ily, riends, and members o the wider Sangha. It was di cult to open up in

    this way to so many people, especially to people outside the saety o our local

    Sangha meetings.

    But the results have been heartening. I have initiated dialogs with people

    that I might not have otherwise considered as sources o inormation and sup-

    port with respect to these issues. Many people shared their own experiences

    and heartelt thoughts on Iraq and war in general. Perhaps most importantly, the

    public expression o my aspirations strengthened my resolve to take action.

    I also received some practical eedback about people and organizations

    that I could contact to help me turn my expressed intentions into action. Here

    are just a ew:

    The List Project (www.thelistproject.org) aims to resettle Iraqis thathave become targets of violence due to their support of the U.S.effort in Iraq.

    I put my tent in the woods, away rom every

    body else, and I sat there asking mysel, What a

    I doing here? Why am I at a Buddhist retreat wi

    a Vietnamese monk? I have to be out o my mind

    absolutely crazy.

    The rst night o the retreat, Thich Nhat Han

    talked to us. The moment he walked into the room

    and I looked into his ace, I began to cry. I realizeor the rst time that I didnt know the Vietnames

    in any other way than as my enemy, and this ma

    wasnt my enemy. It wasnt a conscious though

    it was an awareness happening rom somewhe

    deep inside me.

    As I sat there looking at this Vietnamese ma

    memories o the war star ted f ooding over m

    Things that I hadnt remembered beore, even

    I had totally orgotten. One o the memories th

    came back that evening helped me to understan

    why I had not been able to tolerate the crying o m

    baby son years earlier.

    At some point, maybe six months into m

    service in Vietnam, we landed outside a villag

    and shut down the engines o our helicopters. Ote

    when we set down near a village the children wou

    rush up and f ock around the helicopter, beggin

    or ood, trying to sell us bananas or pineapples o

    Coca-Cola, or attempting to prostitute their mothe

    or sisters. On this particular day there was a larg

    group o children, maybe 25. They were most

    gathered around the helicopter.

    As the number o children grew, the situatio

    became less and less sae because oten the Viecong would use children as weapons against u

    So someone chased them o by ring a burst rom

    an M60 machine gun over their heads. As they ra

    away, a baby was let lying on the ground, cryin

    maybe two eet rom the helicopter in the middl

    o the group. I started to approach the baby alon

    with three or our other soldiers. That is what m

    nonwar conditioning told me to do. But in th

    instance, or some reason, something elt wron

    to me. And just as the thought began to rise in m

    head to yell at the others to stop, just beore th

    thought could be passed by synapse to speech, on

    o them reached out and picked up the baby, and blew up. Perhaps the baby had been a booby-tra

    a bomb. Perhaps there had been a grenade attac

    or a mortar attack at just this moment. Whateve

    the cause, there was an explosion that killed thre

    soldiers and knocked me down, covering me wi

    blood and body parts.

    This incident had been so overwhelming th

    my conscious mind could not hold it. And so th

    memory had remained inaccessible to me until th

    evening in 1990 .

    wars AFTERMATH

    My Responsibility

    for the War in

    IraqBy Bruce Campbell

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    At the retreat, Thich Nhat Hanh said to us, You veterans

    are the light at the tip o the candle. You burn hot and bright.

    You understand deeply the nature o suering. He told us

    that the only way to heal, to transorm suering, is to stand

    ace-to-ace with suering, to realize the intimate details o

    suering and how our lie in the present is aected by it. He

    encouraged us to talk about our experiences and told us that wedeserved to be listened to, deserved to be understood. He said

    we represented a powerul orce or healing in the world.

    He also told us that the nonveterans were more respon-

    sible or the war than the veterans.* That because o the

    interconnectedness o all things, there is no escape rom

    responsibility. That those who think they arent responsible

    are the most responsible. The very liestyle o the nonveterans

    supports the institutions o war. The nonveterans, he said,

    needed to sit down with the veterans and listen, really listen

    to our experience. They needed to embrace whatever eelings

    arose in them when engaging with us not to hide rom their

    experience in our presence, not to try to control it, but just

    to be present with us.

    I spent six days at the retreat. Being with the Vietnamese

    people gave me the opportunity to step into the emotional

    chaos that was my experience o Vietnam. And I came to

    realize that this experience was and continues to be a

    very useul and powerul git. Without speci c awareness o

    the intimate nature o our suering, whatever that suering

    may be, healing and transormation simply are not possible

    and we will continue to re-create that suering and inect

    others with it.

    Toward the end o the retreat I went to Sister Chan Khong

    to apologize, to try to make amends in some way or all thedestruction, the killing Id taken part in. I didnt know how

    to apologize directly; perhaps I didnt have the courage. All

    I could manage to say was: I want to go to Vietnam. Dur-

    ing the retreat they had said, i we who had ought wanted to

    go to Vietnam to help rebuild the country, they would help

    arrange it. And so I asked to go to Vietnam; it was all I could

    say through my tears.

    * When Thay gives teachings he does not normally say that non-veterans are more responsible than veterans for the war, but non-veterans are just as responsible as veterans. Sister Annabel

    From At Hells Gate:A Soldiers Journey from Warto Peace, by Claude Anshin

    Thomas, 2004, 2006 byClaude A. Thomas. Reprinted

    by arrangement with ShambhalaPublications Inc., Boston, MA.

    www.shambhala.com.