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Mastering The Soft Skills: What They Don’t Teach You In Fundraising 101 Gail Perry twitter: @gailperrync Facebook: Fired Up Fundraising [email protected] best general Fired-Up Shaded

Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: [email protected] •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

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Page 1: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Mastering The Soft Skills: What They

Don’t Teach You In Fundraising 101

Gail Perry

twitter: @gailperrync Facebook: Fired Up Fundraising

[email protected]

best general Fired-Up Shaded

Page 2: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Who Am I?

• 30 years!! Aaarugh!

• Speaker coach, consultant

• Duke University and UNC-Chapel Hill fundraising

• Author, “Fired-Up Fundraising: Turn Board Passion

into Action” (Wiley)

• AFP Fundraiser of the Year (NC)

• International speaker and workshop leader

• email: [email protected]

• facebook: firedupfundraising

• twitter: @gailperrync

Page 3: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Our “Not Politically Correct”

Agenda:

Manners

politicsSocial Skills

Reading the Donor

How to be Likeable BUILDING TRUST

Shaky situations

Power!

Unspoken ground rules

Relationships

Page 4: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

“Not Politically Correct”

Vocabulary!

social awareness

Likeablility

social skillsSmall Talk!

“Social dismissal”

Page 5: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Get This Powerpoint and my Free Workbook:

Skyrocket Your Fundraising with

A Systematic Major Gifts

Program

Workbook and Discussion Guide (62 pages)

Gailperry.com/resources-ottawa

Page 6: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

1. Major Gifts Are Not About

Selling

6

5 Major Gift Fundamentals

Page 7: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

2. Your Relationship is More Important

Than the Ask

High inten

Low pressure

5 Major Gift Fundamentals

Page 8: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Your overall goal with a

major donor is ALWAYS

a happylong term relationship.

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Page 9: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

3. You are focusing on the

WEALTHY FEW

9

5 Major Gift Fundamentals

Page 10: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

10

4. Lots and Lots of Personal

Attention

5 Major Gift Fundamentals

4. Lots and lots of

personal attention

Page 11: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

5. Lots and

Lots of Time!

Major Gift Fundamentals

Page 12: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

The Wealthy . . .

Far, far away . . . high up on the hill?

Page 13: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

The Wealthy

How do YOU get

over the

intimidation factor?

Page 14: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Your

EnergyIs

Contagious!

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Page 15: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Be Cheerfully Aggressive!

Page 16: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Stand in the

place of vision

and possibility. .

.

That’s where the

power is.

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Page 17: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Gail’s Favorite Major Gift Vision Question

Wouldn’t It Be Wonderful If . . .

Page 18: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

The Power of Abundance!

Not Scarcity

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Page 19: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Don’t Be Scared of Rejection

It’s NOT About YOU!

19

Page 20: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync
Page 21: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Which Attitude Can

Change the World?

21

Page 22: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

How Do You

Develop the

Relationship?

• The delicate dance.

• Watch for cues.

• They will tell you.

Page 23: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

How Do You Build Trust?

• Do what you say you’ll do.

• When you say you will.

• Be punctual.

Page 24: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Do You Kiss On

The First Date?

How fast can you go

with donors without

turning them off?

Page 25: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

To know when to go away and

when to come closer is

the KEY to any

lasting relationship.

Domenico Cieri Estrada

Page 26: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Social Awareness

Where’s Your

Focus?

On You?

Or the Other

Guy?

Page 27: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

• Being boring!

• Talking too much!

The Fundraiser’s Kiss of Death

Page 28: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Listen Your Way to the Gift

Gail’s Major Gift

Fundraising Motto:

When in doubt, shut

up!

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Page 29: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

The Bigger the VIP,

The More They Expect To Do the Talking

29

` I love

being

listened

to!

Page 30: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

You’ve Got To Master

Small Talkand The Art of Conversation

You’ve Got To

Master

Small Talkand The Art of

Conversation

Page 31: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Who’s the Best Conversationalist?

The person who

talks the LEAST!

Page 32: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Use Your Radar

Their body language will

tell you more than any

words.

Page 33: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Conversation Skills

What Are Your Impressions of . . . ?

33

• You are probing

• Finding out where

the prospect stands

• Tell me more about .

Page 34: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Power Questions:

1. Asking for Advice

• Tell me what you think about. . .

• Please give me your guidance on . . .

• Can we brainstorm this idea?

• What should we do?

• How could we pull this off?

• Who should be involved?

Page 35: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Power Questions:

2. Probing Their Interest

• I’d love to hear about your philanthropy. . .

• What drives your philanthropy?

• What causes are you most passionate about?

• I’d love to know why you are interested in our cause?

• What are your top 3 philanthropic priorities?

• What would it take for our organization to become one of your priorities?

Page 36: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Power Questions:

3. About Our Organization and Project

• What is your opinion of our organization?

• What do you think about our project?

• Do you think it’s a good idea?

• Tell me what you think about our strategy . . .

• How do you think we can accomplish this goal?

• Do you think we can raise the money?

• Who might be interested in supporting this?

Page 37: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

When It Comes to

Manners

What the Dali Lama Said:

“Know what the rules are

so you can break them properly.”

Page 38: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

What’s the Definition

of “Etiquette?”

• Kind and considerate

• Keep your cool

(decorum)

• Put others at ease

Page 39: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync
Page 40: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Graciousness and Manners

Billy,

You are so wonderful. Your dedication

and support are absolutely remarkable.

Thank you,

Elizabeth

Page 41: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

First Impressions Count!

• Posture?

• Handshakes?

• The hello kiss?

• How to greet

people.

Page 42: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

For a Fundraiser, First Impressions

Count More Than You Know!

• Your voice?

• Cell phones?

• Eye contact?

• Can’t remember

their name?

Page 43: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Learn How to Meet People

Properly

• When to stand up?

• Genuine smile?

• Exuding

cheerfulness

• Mrs. Jones or Betty?

Page 44: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Introductions

• Who gets introduced to

whom?

• How to start two

people in a

conversation.

• Keeping people apart!

Page 45: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Important Arts

For a Gentleman

• Paying a compliment

• Holding the door

• Walking on the outside

• Elevator etiquette

Page 46: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

46

Appearance – LadiesWealthy donors tend to be older and

more conservative.

• Makeup?

• Edgy fashion?

• What to do if you are

young and cute?

Page 47: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Yikes! Avoid “social dismissal.”

Page 48: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Table Manners Motto:

“When in doubt, copy others.”

“When in

Rome”

Strategy

Page 49: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Bad Table Manners =

“Social Dismissal??”

• When do you pick up your fork?

• Hunching over your plate?

• When to take the napkin?

• Talking and eating at the same time?

• Which fork?

• Role of the elbow?

Page 50: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Sticky Situations

Page 51: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

It’s All Politics

Page 52: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

How to Show Up As an

Interesting Person?

Benefit #1: Access

Page 53: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

How to Show Up As

a “Likeable”

Person?

Your goal is for them to

think you are worth

spending time with.

Page 54: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

BE OUT AND ABOUT IN YOUR COMMUNITY!

You’ll hear the local community buzz.

Prospect research galore!

Page 55: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Your donors will identify you as someone of

stature in your community.

Page 56: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

You’ll see who is talking to whom.

Who might be a door opener?

Page 57: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Where’s the power and the

influence?

Page 58: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Get This Powerpoint and my Free Workbook:

Skyrocket Your Fundraising with

A Systematic Major Gifts

Program

Workbook and Discussion Guide (62 pages)

Gailperry.com/resources-ottawa

Page 59: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

Many More Resources at

FiredupFundraising.com

Top 10 Things to Understand About How Fundraising Really Works Today

3 Important Goals for Every Major Donor Visit

The Fundraisers’s Kiss of Death: Talking too Much!

Top 10 Trends: How Major Donors are Changing and What to Do About It

5 Insanely Successful Ideas for Getting the Appointment With Your Major Gift

Prospect

My #1 Secret to Raising Major Gifts

Mastering the Soft Skills of Fundraising: 5 Important Tips

The Advice Visit: Easy Way to Open The Door To Your Major Gift Prospect

Show Me the Money: How To Move From Friendraising to Fundraising

How Major Donors are Changing and What To Do About It

Board Members’ #1 Job: How to Be a Personal Advocate for the Cause

Page 60: Mastering The Soft Skills: What They - Amazon S3 · •International speaker and workshop leader •email: gp@gailperry.com •facebook: firedupfundraising •twitter: @gailperrync

© Gail Perry 2016

[email protected]