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Mastering The Soft Skills: What They
Don’t Teach You In Fundraising 101
Gail Perry
twitter: @gailperrync Facebook: Fired Up Fundraising
best general Fired-Up Shaded
Who Am I?
• 30 years!! Aaarugh!
• Speaker coach, consultant
• Duke University and UNC-Chapel Hill fundraising
• Author, “Fired-Up Fundraising: Turn Board Passion
into Action” (Wiley)
• AFP Fundraiser of the Year (NC)
• International speaker and workshop leader
• email: [email protected]
• facebook: firedupfundraising
• twitter: @gailperrync
Our “Not Politically Correct”
Agenda:
Manners
politicsSocial Skills
Reading the Donor
How to be Likeable BUILDING TRUST
Shaky situations
Power!
Unspoken ground rules
Relationships
“Not Politically Correct”
Vocabulary!
social awareness
Likeablility
social skillsSmall Talk!
“Social dismissal”
Get This Powerpoint and my Free Workbook:
Skyrocket Your Fundraising with
A Systematic Major Gifts
Program
Workbook and Discussion Guide (62 pages)
Gailperry.com/resources-ottawa
1. Major Gifts Are Not About
Selling
6
5 Major Gift Fundamentals
2. Your Relationship is More Important
Than the Ask
High inten
Low pressure
5 Major Gift Fundamentals
Your overall goal with a
major donor is ALWAYS
a happylong term relationship.
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3. You are focusing on the
WEALTHY FEW
9
5 Major Gift Fundamentals
10
4. Lots and Lots of Personal
Attention
5 Major Gift Fundamentals
4. Lots and lots of
personal attention
5. Lots and
Lots of Time!
Major Gift Fundamentals
The Wealthy . . .
Far, far away . . . high up on the hill?
The Wealthy
How do YOU get
over the
intimidation factor?
Your
EnergyIs
Contagious!
14
Be Cheerfully Aggressive!
Stand in the
place of vision
and possibility. .
.
That’s where the
power is.
16
Gail’s Favorite Major Gift Vision Question
Wouldn’t It Be Wonderful If . . .
The Power of Abundance!
Not Scarcity
18
Don’t Be Scared of Rejection
It’s NOT About YOU!
19
Which Attitude Can
Change the World?
21
How Do You
Develop the
Relationship?
• The delicate dance.
• Watch for cues.
• They will tell you.
How Do You Build Trust?
• Do what you say you’ll do.
• When you say you will.
• Be punctual.
Do You Kiss On
The First Date?
How fast can you go
with donors without
turning them off?
To know when to go away and
when to come closer is
the KEY to any
lasting relationship.
Domenico Cieri Estrada
Social Awareness
Where’s Your
Focus?
On You?
Or the Other
Guy?
• Being boring!
• Talking too much!
The Fundraiser’s Kiss of Death
Listen Your Way to the Gift
Gail’s Major Gift
Fundraising Motto:
When in doubt, shut
up!
28
The Bigger the VIP,
The More They Expect To Do the Talking
29
` I love
being
listened
to!
You’ve Got To Master
Small Talkand The Art of Conversation
You’ve Got To
Master
Small Talkand The Art of
Conversation
Who’s the Best Conversationalist?
The person who
talks the LEAST!
Use Your Radar
Their body language will
tell you more than any
words.
Conversation Skills
What Are Your Impressions of . . . ?
33
• You are probing
• Finding out where
the prospect stands
• Tell me more about .
Power Questions:
1. Asking for Advice
• Tell me what you think about. . .
• Please give me your guidance on . . .
• Can we brainstorm this idea?
• What should we do?
• How could we pull this off?
• Who should be involved?
Power Questions:
2. Probing Their Interest
• I’d love to hear about your philanthropy. . .
• What drives your philanthropy?
• What causes are you most passionate about?
• I’d love to know why you are interested in our cause?
• What are your top 3 philanthropic priorities?
• What would it take for our organization to become one of your priorities?
Power Questions:
3. About Our Organization and Project
• What is your opinion of our organization?
• What do you think about our project?
• Do you think it’s a good idea?
• Tell me what you think about our strategy . . .
• How do you think we can accomplish this goal?
• Do you think we can raise the money?
• Who might be interested in supporting this?
When It Comes to
Manners
What the Dali Lama Said:
“Know what the rules are
so you can break them properly.”
What’s the Definition
of “Etiquette?”
• Kind and considerate
• Keep your cool
(decorum)
• Put others at ease
Graciousness and Manners
Billy,
You are so wonderful. Your dedication
and support are absolutely remarkable.
Thank you,
Elizabeth
First Impressions Count!
• Posture?
• Handshakes?
• The hello kiss?
• How to greet
people.
For a Fundraiser, First Impressions
Count More Than You Know!
• Your voice?
• Cell phones?
• Eye contact?
• Can’t remember
their name?
Learn How to Meet People
Properly
• When to stand up?
• Genuine smile?
• Exuding
cheerfulness
• Mrs. Jones or Betty?
Introductions
• Who gets introduced to
whom?
• How to start two
people in a
conversation.
• Keeping people apart!
Important Arts
For a Gentleman
• Paying a compliment
• Holding the door
• Walking on the outside
• Elevator etiquette
46
Appearance – LadiesWealthy donors tend to be older and
more conservative.
• Makeup?
• Edgy fashion?
• What to do if you are
young and cute?
Yikes! Avoid “social dismissal.”
Table Manners Motto:
“When in doubt, copy others.”
“When in
Rome”
Strategy
Bad Table Manners =
“Social Dismissal??”
• When do you pick up your fork?
• Hunching over your plate?
• When to take the napkin?
• Talking and eating at the same time?
• Which fork?
• Role of the elbow?
Sticky Situations
It’s All Politics
How to Show Up As an
Interesting Person?
Benefit #1: Access
How to Show Up As
a “Likeable”
Person?
Your goal is for them to
think you are worth
spending time with.
BE OUT AND ABOUT IN YOUR COMMUNITY!
You’ll hear the local community buzz.
Prospect research galore!
Your donors will identify you as someone of
stature in your community.
You’ll see who is talking to whom.
Who might be a door opener?
Where’s the power and the
influence?
Get This Powerpoint and my Free Workbook:
Skyrocket Your Fundraising with
A Systematic Major Gifts
Program
Workbook and Discussion Guide (62 pages)
Gailperry.com/resources-ottawa
Many More Resources at
FiredupFundraising.com
Top 10 Things to Understand About How Fundraising Really Works Today
3 Important Goals for Every Major Donor Visit
The Fundraisers’s Kiss of Death: Talking too Much!
Top 10 Trends: How Major Donors are Changing and What to Do About It
5 Insanely Successful Ideas for Getting the Appointment With Your Major Gift
Prospect
My #1 Secret to Raising Major Gifts
Mastering the Soft Skills of Fundraising: 5 Important Tips
The Advice Visit: Easy Way to Open The Door To Your Major Gift Prospect
Show Me the Money: How To Move From Friendraising to Fundraising
How Major Donors are Changing and What To Do About It
Board Members’ #1 Job: How to Be a Personal Advocate for the Cause
