Mark O’Callaghan, HSE Psychology Services.€¦ · between a teenage brain and an adult brain. Not possible to say it is the reason for all teenage behaviour! However, it does mean

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Mark O’Callaghan,HSE Psychology Services.

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1. Causes of behaviour –biology of the brain

2. The A to Zzzzz’sof Sleep

3. Role of adults

4. Communicating with Teenagers

Overview

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“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

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“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

Attributed to Socrates by Plato

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“the young are heated by Nature as drunken men by wine”

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“the young are heated by Nature as drunken men by wine”

Aristotle

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“I would there were no age between sixteen and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep out the rest; for there is nothing in the between but getting wenches with child, wronging the ancientry, stealing, fighting”

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“I would there were no age between sixteen and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep out the rest; for there is nothing in the between but getting wenches with child, wronging the ancientry, stealing, fighting”

Shakespeare - Winter’s Tale Act 3, Scene 3

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1. Causes

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Neuroscience = study of the brain and its biological make up.

Previously thought the brain had finished growing and developing in childhood

Advances in brain imaging techniques have allowed for changes in the brain to be mapped.

Results show that adolescence is also a period of great brain development

CHANGES IN THE BRAIN

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Two Main Changes:

1) Growth of fatty insulation around the brain connections.

This makes speed of brain messages a hundred times faster.

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2) Major changes occur in the front of brain in a part called the prefrontal cortex (PFC).

Responsible for skills such as: -setting priorities-problem solving ,-organizing plans and ideas -forming strategies-controlling impulses

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Pruning - Decrease in grey matter (blue) – use-it or lose it

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2004/imaging-study-shows-brain-maturing.shtml

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This research shows that there is a difference between a teenage brain and an adult brain.

Not possible to say it is the reason for all teenage behaviour!

However, it does mean the following skills are still developing in teenagers :◦ Controlling impulses◦ Planning◦ Decision making◦ Imagining possible future consequences of an action◦ Realizing the emotional significance of an action.

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Teenage brains are slow to read facial signals, as the reshaping of their brains makes it hard for them to process basic information.

This makes them socially and emotionally clumsy.

Teenagers often misread images of fear as ones of anger, confusion and sadness.

As a result, they are capable of seeing hostility where none exists.

This could contribute to them finding life unfair.

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Teenagers are more likely to seek thrill than adults – highest aged 15.

Can lead to dangerous behaviours (e.gdriving fast) but also positive ones (e.g. urge to meet new people).

Risk-taking also higher in teenagers, especially between 15-25.

This helps to explain high number of accidents involving teenagers

In US, 1/3 of teen deaths are in car accidents, many involving alcohol.

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Teens take more risks because they weigh risk versus reward differently: In situations where risk can get them something they want, they value the reward more heavily than adults do

For example, when a teenager is driving alone, they take the same risks as adults.

However, when friends are in the car, the reward for the teenager is a social reward, and so they take more risks .

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Developing brains makes teenagers susceptible to negative influences e.g. drugs/alcohol.

Alcohol affects learning and memory in teenagers more than in adults.

Also less able to judge their own levels of intoxication.

Drugs, such as marijuana, also affect memory. The younger teenagers drink or use drugs, the

more likely it will turn into an addiction.

DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

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Sleep is an important fuel for the brain.

Many benefits: ◦ Helps us think more clearly◦ Improves concentration◦ Increases memory◦ Reduces stress◦ Reduces inflammation in the body◦ Helps keep the heart healthy

2. THE A TO ZZZZZZZs OF SLEEP

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Getting enough sleep is very important for teenagers.

Without enough sleep , a teenager will experience:◦ decreased levels of alertness and concentration◦ reduced short-term memory and learning ability ◦ negative mood◦ inconsistent performance◦ poor productivity

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Teenagers have different sleep patterns to adults.

They undergo a “phase delay” – a tendency to go asleep and wake up later.

Important they get between 8.5-9.25 hours sleep a night- need same amount as younger children.

Study found only 15% of teens get this required amount, with 26% getting less than 6.5 hours

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The study also found that twice as many teenagers stay up after 11pm at weekends than during the week.

Staying awake and waking up later at the weekend causes an irregular sleep schedule.

This can make them even more tired during the week.

Important that parents help teens change their sleeping patterns.

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The following can help teenagers adjust their sleeping patterns:

-Dimming the lights at night -Ensuring they are getting lots of daylight in the

morning. -Having a set bedtime.-Sleeping in a cool environment -Turning off music, the Internet, and televisions. -Lie-ins at the weekend should be limited to just

one or two hours more than during the week. -Playing sport earlier in the day can also help

adjust sleep patterns.

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Guidance from adults is essential for the development of the teenage brain.

Teenagers need to be surrounded by caring parents, adults, and institutions to help them learn specific skills and appropriate adult behaviour.

Good relationships with adults have a number of benefits such as:◦ Reduces likelihood of using drugs, alcohol and

tobacco.◦ Increases academic performance◦ Increases social, mental and emotional well-being.

3. THE ROLE OF ADULTS

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However, it is also important to remember that one of the primary goals of teenagers is to achieve independence.

For this to occur, teenagers will pull away from parents.

This can come across as teens always seeming to have different opinions than their parents or not wanting to be around their parents in the same way they used to

But parents will still act as ‘models’

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Therefore, many adults, especially parents, believe it is hard to have a good relationship with their teenager when it is so difficult to communicate with them.

45% of teens tell their parents little or nothing about their worries or problems

Distance and explosiveness are often the only ways a teenager knows how to communicate when things get intense—which only causes more conflict.Therefore, it is important for parents to understand and learn ways of communicating effectively with their teen.

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Teens strive to feel important

BUT

They also want so much to belong

ALSO

Competence versus Confidence (Skill – Will)

Strive for Independence but….

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SkillSkill--WillWill

Readiness=Ability + Willingness

Ability=Skills + Knowledge

Willingness= Desire + Confidence

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WILL VS. SKILL

Ability (Skill + Knowledge)LOW

HIGH

HIGH

LOW

Will

(Des

ire +

Con

fiden

ce)

Able and willing and confident(High Maturity)

DELEGATING

Turn over responsibility for decision & implementation to Teen

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WILL VS. SKILL


HIGH

HIGH

LOW

Will

(Des

ire +

Con

fiden

ce)

Unable and also unwilling and/or feeling insecure(Low Maturity)

TELLING - DIRECTING

Provide specific instructions and closely supervise performance


DELEGATING


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WILL VS. SKILL


HIGH

HIGH

LOW

Will

(Des

ire +

Con

fiden

ce)

Able but still unwilling or feeling insecure

(Moderate Maturity)

SELLING - COACHING

Explain decisions and provide opportunity for clarification


TELLING - DIRECTING



DELEGATING


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WILL VS. SKILL


HIGH

HIGH

LOW

Will

(Des

ire +

Con

fiden

ce)

Able but still unwilling or feeling insecure

(Moderate Maturity)

SELLING - COACHING

Explain decisions and provide opportunity for clarification


TELLING - DIRECTING



DELEGATING


Unable but willing or confident(Some Maturity)

SUPPORTING

Share ideas and facilitate in decision-making – CHECK!

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4. Communication

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How to talk so teens will listen and listen

so teens will talk!

4. Communication

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Contributions to the overall impact of the message:◦ Words – 7%◦ Tone – 38%◦ Body Language – 55%

Words: Psychological Reactance (“reverse psychology”) means that telling someone they cannot do something threatens their personal freedom, and makes them more likely to do it !

Therefore, avoid using words such as “you can’t”, and “don’t”.

“I’d prefer if….” – better alternative

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Should be monitored when speaking Types of body language include:◦ Body posture◦ Hand gestures◦ Eye contact◦ Distance to the person

Do not cross arms- sets up barrier Hand gestures, e.g. pointing, should be kept

under control. Eye contact should be maintained – but

should not be a staring contest!

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Location:◦ Teenager should not be distracted at time of

conversation – choose time they are not watching TV etc◦ If speaking about a serious topic, choose

somewhere free from interruptions ◦ Keep venue neutral – e.g. kitchen◦ Survey the mood - teenagers are more likely

to listen if they are in a good mood

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One of the most important skills a parent should have

Active listening – stepping into the shoes of the other person

Active listening involves:◦ Genuinely trying to understand what they are

saying◦ Acknowledging how they are feeling◦ Giving full attention◦ Monitoring body language and eye contact◦ Encouraging teenager to continue speaking

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1) Reflection and Questioning: Reflection-repeating back what teen has said, but in a slightly different wayQuestioning - asking questions shows you were listening and helps you get more information.

2) Important to encourage teens to speak now AND speak again in future◦ Don’t dismiss feelings – help them identify them◦ Focus on what is being said – don’t let other thoughts

distract you from this

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Negative Body Language Labelling and belittling Put downs Ordering and lecturing Taking over the problem Mixed Messages

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There is no such thing as the perfect parent.

The teenage years can be challenging but can also be rewarding as you watch teens grow and develop as an individual.

Be patient and keep working on the relationship between you and the teenager.

Pick your battles - to achieve the peace!

RememberRemember……..

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It is no coincidence that approximately 80% of teenagers say they admire their parents and wish to spend time with them.

It is important for parents to take time out for themselves, too.

Remember that you can only do your best!

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And finally!

It is a phase that is necessary for development BUT how we handle it can help determine how well they get through to the other side!

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Thank you for your attention!

Documents

Mark O’Callaghan, HSE Psychology Services.€¦ · between a teenage brain and an adult brain. Not possible to say it is the reason for all teenage behaviour! However, it does mean