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Supreme Court of Nevada – Judicial Education Rev.: 10/19/15
SUPREME COURT OF NEVADA
DISTANCE EDUCATION
MANAGING TOUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH CONFIDENCE, CONTROL, AND ACCOUNTABILITY
Course Materials
Course Date: October 22, 2015 (Webinar)
Faculty:
Ms. Elizabeth Bullard
MANAGING TOUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH CONFIDENCE, CONTROL, AND ACCOUNTABILITY Course Date: October 22, 2015 (Webinar) Faculty: Ms. Elizabeth Bullard
Supreme Court of Nevada – Judicial Education Rev.: 10/19/15
FACULTY BIOGRAPHY
Elizabeth “Liz” Bullard Colorado State Court Administrator’s Office 1300 Broadway, Suite 1200 Denver, CO 80203 Telephone: (720) 625-5915 [email protected] Ms. Liz is Bullard is the Staff Development Administrator for the Colorado Judicial Branch’s Administrative Office of the Courts in the Human Resources Division. With her 20 years of experience with Judicial, she is focused on leadership development and coaching for judicial branch employees. Ms. Bullard was instrumental in the development of the Judicial Executive Development Institute (JEDI) to support succession planning and the Executive Leadership Program for senior executives. She holds a B.S. in Business Management from New Mexico State University and an M.S. in Systems Management from the University of Southern California.
Ms. Bullard has extensive experience developing and facilitating leadership development programs, retreats and coaching sessions using the Myers Briggs Type Instrument (MBTI©), Emotional Quotient Inventory 2.0 (EQ-i 2.0), the Team Emotional & Social Intelligent Survey (TESIR), Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation-Behavior Assessment (FIROBTM), Communication Preference QuestionnaireTM, the Influencer, the Change Style Indicator and several 360 assessments. She is a graduate of the NYU’s Power & Politics, the Harvard Kennedy School’s The Art and Practice of Leadership Development program, Center for Creative Leadership Coaching program and educated as a Co-Active Coach by the Coaches Training Institute.
Ms. Bullard participates on various state and national committees including serving as past President for the National Association of State Judicial Educators. In addition, she has provided consultation and facilitation services to various organizations to include the Indiana Court Employees Conference, the Bulgarian Supreme Court Reform project, the National Judicial College in Reno and the National Association of State Judicial Educator Conferences. Liz has a passion for coaching those in leadership positions and those interested in moving into leadership within the courts.
MANAGING TOUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH CONFIDENCE, CONTROL, AND ACCOUNTABILITY Course Date: October 22, 2015 (Webinar) Faculty: Ms. Elizabeth Bullard
Supreme Court of Nevada – Judicial Education Rev.: 10/19/15
PARTICIPANT HANDOUT
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Presented By: Liz Bullard
Colorado Judicial Department/HR
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Managing Tough Conversations
Sponsored by:
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
• Briefly describe a difficult conversation you would like to have…
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Opportunities and Goals
• Building confidence in your skills to address employee behavior.
• Emotions, Stories, Assumptions OH MY!
• Preparing and Delivering Feedback
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
• EMOTIONS + STORIES
Key Ingredients in Conflict
John didn’t show up for the committee meeting
AGAIN today!
Why did he broadcast an email disagreeing with
our approach? If he bothered to show up he would understand our
direction. JERK!
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
• Emotions Overwhelm your thinking and actions • Unable to read others’ emotions • Can’t find right words • Unable to focus thinking or actions • Physiological response: heart races, blood pressure increases, sweating, gut hurts, clenched jaw…etc
Emotions: Amygdala Hijack Video Excerpt: Authors@Google: Daniel Goleman, Amygdala Hijack
What is an Amygdala Hijack
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations
10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Stories: Ladder of Inference Video: Rethinking Thinking by Trevor Maber
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Running Up Your Ladder
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Stories: Ladder of Inference Part II Short Circuiting the Ladder
Video: Rethinking Thinking by Trevor Maber
___________________________ ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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10 JD Supervisors
July 2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Running Up Your NEW Ladder
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
What does it take to look at situations differently?
1. Know your tendencies-recognize the signs of amygdala hijack
2. Stop/Pause/Slow Down
3. Separate emotion from data or the “what” from the “who”
4. Suspend judgment
5. Identify what you know…Facts, Observable Data
6. Get feedback (repeat steps 1-5 if needed!)
7. Listen
8. Critical reflection
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Tensions between Two Core Human Needs Adapted from HBR Find the Coaching in Criticism; Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone
Why is Feedback So Hard?
Learn & Grow
Accepted Just the
Way I am
NACE: Managing Tough Conversations
10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Feelings that Push our Buttons Adapted from HBR Find the Coaching in Criticism; Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone
• Truth Triggers
• Relationship Triggers
• Identity Triggers
Why is Feedback So Hard?
NACE: Managing Tough Conversations
10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
1. Know your tendencies
2. Disentangle the “what” from the “who”
3. Lean towards coaching intent instead of evaluative intent
4. Unpack the feedback; set aside judgement
5. Ask for Feedback; Just one thing…
6. Experiment
What does it take to look at situations differently?
NACE: Managing Tough Conversations
10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
• Situation
• Behavior
• Impact
Planning Your Difficult Conversation
NACE: Managing Tough Conversations
10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
S.B.I. : Situation – Behavior – Impact Created by the Center for Creative Leadership
SITUATION Anchors feedback in time, place, and circumstances and helps receiver remember and/or understand the context.
BEHAVIOR Observable actions that can be recorded (audio or video) and allows feedback receiver to know exactly what he or she did that had impact
IMPACT Feelings and thoughts the feedback giver had, and how the feedback giver or others behaved as a result of the feedback receiver’s behavior. (“I” statements)
“Pat, during our conference call yesterday afternoon”
“I noticed that you interrupted others and me on several occasions”
“I felt frustrated at times [impact on me], and I sensed that others were irritated by it as well [impact on others].”
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
S.B.I. : Situation – Behavior – Impact Created by the Center for Creative Leadership
SITUATION BEHAVIOR IMPACT
”Last [date/day/time] during our [point of interaction, specific situation] , when you did/said [behavior], I felt [impact].”
Suggested follow on statements: • “What do you think we can do to avoid a similar situation in the future?” • ”What are your thoughts on this?” –or- • “I would love to feel more comfortable sharing what is on my mind with you moving forward, what do you suggest
would facilitate this?”
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
S.B.I. : Situation – Behavior – Impact Created by the Center for Creative Leadership
SITUATION BEHAVIOR IMPACT
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Practice with Your Difficult Conversations
NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Final Notes
NACE: Managing Tough Conversations
10/22/2015
©CO Judicial Judicial Education & Development
Learn It! Live It! Lead It!
Sources Daniel Goleman: "Social Intelligence" | Talks at Google, Nov 2007, Youtube
Trevor Maber: Rethinking Thinking , TED-ED, Oct. 2012, Youtube
SBI, Center for Creative Leadership, www.ccl.org
Sheila Heen & Douglas Stone, Find The Coaching In Criticism, Jan/Feb 2014 issue of HBR.org
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NACE: Managing Tough Conversations 10/22/2015