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MANAGINGINTERPERSONAL
EFFECTIVENESS
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Unit I
SELF ANDCOMMUNICATION
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Self
William James a psychologistdistinguished between two aspects ofself as me and I.
I is an active agent in the environment.
Me contains three distinct entities as
Spiritual self:- inner core of identity.
Material self:- persons physical attributes.
Social self:- personal identity.
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Self concept
The views about ones self is known asself concept.
It is the impression one holds about
himself. Switching the role one plays can create a
problem for ones self concept.
Self concept is the picture of oneselfaccompanied by the feeling of the realme which is stable.
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Johari window
Known to
others
Unknown
to others
Known to self Unknown to self
Open Self Blind self
Hidden Self Unknown self
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Self Awareness
Process of discovering andunderstanding various aspects of oneselflike motivation, attitudes, belief, etc.
Through:-
Dialogue, Listening, Reduce blind,
Increase open, See different selves.
We become aware of our own values andstandards.
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SELF AWARENESS
Awareness of mental process
Objective self awareness or both
-result of directing our attention inward
1. Labelling theory
2. Self comparisons
3. Judging ourselves by behaviour of others
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Self Growth
Maximization of ones potential towardsclear, specific & planned objective.
Individual development. Personal/social development.
conscious/unconscious effort.
Explore strength & weakness
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Self perception
Individuals attitudes towards and beliefs aboutthemselves based on factors like physicalappearance, work habits, etc., and developsover a time.
Highly complex collection of diverseinformation.
A scheme is a set of cognitions about an object,
person or situation. Self schemas reflect our beliefs and behavior
with regard to people, situation and events.
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Schemas
Have subschemas reflecting our beliefs andbehaviour with regard to people
Helps organising our impressions
Scan and elate to the environment
Self schemas- independent - schematic
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Social inferences
By Markus the subjects who had schemas ofthemselves as independent chose moreindependent words to describe themselves than
those who thought of themselves as dependent. Self schemas and adaptability: (odd man out)
Social schemas - 3 categories
For individuals For roles / groups
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Schemas and others
Business man
Traits aggressive, energetic, socially skilled andinterested in money
Infmn abt specific behaviours business lunches,selling things to people, investment in stock market
Infmn abt personal physical characteristics welldressed, well groomed, and fairly attractive)
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Gaining self knowledge
Self concept not fixed flexible and changing,over gaining experience
Variety of ways Cognitive dissonance and Self
perception theory
Cognitive dissonance : - a state of tension thatresults when people hold their cognitions (
belief, opinions) Nuclear power, TV
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Self perception theory
People learn about their attitudes, emotions andother inner states by inferring them from theirown behaviour
Based on few assumptions
Sometimes by justifying their behaviour
Cognitive dissonance and Self perception
theory: - over justification and intrinsicmotivation
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Cognitive Dissonance Theory:(Leon Festinger (1957)
We are motivated by a desire for cognitive consistency
We experience psychological tension- (i.e., a state of negative
arousal, dissonance) when we are aware of inconsistencies amongour attitudes, cognitions, and behaviors.
e.g., saying things you dont believe you look great in that outfit,deciding among two attractive options (who to date, what to major in)
We become highly motivated to reduce dissonance and often do soby adjusting their thinking which often often involves irrational or
sometimes maladaptive behavior.
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Ways to Reduce Dissonance:
Embracing your chocolate mousse option despite that
Youre Dieting
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Comparison of Cognitive Dissonance &
Self-Perception Theories
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Applying Self-Perception Theory: Over
justification Effects and Intrinsic
Motivation
di i f h l d
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Necessary Conditions for the Arousal and
Reduction of Dissonance
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Self Esteem
Individuals degree of liking or disliking ofthemselves.
Thinking as highly of yourself as you
think of your friends and peers. It is build upon the experience of success.
High self esteem:-
Good, capable, worthy Low self esteem:-
Useless, unworthy.
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SELF EFFECTIVENESS / SELF
EFFICACY
THE BELIEF THAT ONE IS CAPABLE OFPERFORMING IN A CERTAIN MANNER TOATTAIN CERTAIN GOALS.
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SELF EFFECTIVENESS
Self esteem
Self serving biases
Self-handicapped strategies
Self control
Learned helplessness
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SALARY / WAGE OF A COOLIE / DAY,
SERVANT MAID, CALL TAXI DRIVER,SALES EXECUTIVE, HOTEL SERVER,
ASST MGR, ITTEAM LEADER, MAJOR,
EVENT MANAGER, CHARTERED
ACCOUNTANT,.
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Self presentation
To present ourselves to others. Two self presentation concerns
Motive to please an audience
Motive to construct and maintain a publicimage.
Impression management is the processthrough which people try to control theimpressions other people form of them.
It is usually synonymous with selfpresentation.
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Strategies for self
presentation Direct strategies:-
Ingratiation seeking affection and to be liked.
Intimidation seeking to be feared and seen as
dangerous.
Self promotion seeking respect and a wish to seemcompetent.
Exemplification seeking people to feel guilt or
shame and to be seen as worthy, suffering or
dedicated.
Supplication -- seeking to be nurtured, to make
people feel an obligation towards them and to seem
helpless, handicapped or unfortunate.
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Indirect strategies:-
Our capacity to create an impression rests ontwo different activities.
Messages we give direct verbal symbols ortheir substitutes whose content is designed
to convey information.
Messages we give off involves actions, thatothers can treat as symptomatic of the actor,the expectation being that the action wasperformed for reasons other than theinformation conveyed.
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Defensive self presentation tactics:- Excuses attempt to reduce responsibility.
Justification reason for behavior.
Disclaimer offer explanations. Self handicapping setting obstacles for our
own success.
Apologies admit guilt responsibility.
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Self monitoring
A personality trait that measures an individualsability to adjust his or her behavior to externalsituational factors.
High self monitors:- Pay attention to others, skillful at expressing their
emotions, possess more social skills, prefer
interaction partners.
Low self monitors;- Less concerned, show more consistency between
their attitudes and behavior, prefer people they like
regardless of the activity involved.
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Communication and language
Language may be defined as the systemof vocal sounds used by human beings totransmit meaning to one another.
Effective communication consists of foursteps: Attention
Understanding
Acceptance
Action
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Communication and language
Involves various models like
Lasswell model who, says what, in whichchannel,to whom, to what effect
Shannon & Weavers Mathematical model based on telephony analogy
David berlos SMCR model source message channel reciever
McGuires model transaction model &interactive model
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Non verbal communication
Communicating without the use of words.
Occurs even when there is no verbalcommunication.
Comprises all the impressions we receive andthat interpretations we make from what weperceive through our senses.
The codes are proxemics, haptics, chronemics,kinesics, physical appearance, vocalics andartifacts.
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Non verbal channels
Paralanguage:
What we say depends on how we say it, what tone we use, what
words we emphasize, how loudly or softly, how fast or slowly we
speak.
Eye contacts and social interaction:
The importance we place on eye contact is reflected in such
phrases as Eyeing someone up and down, seeing eye to eye,
Look me in the eye.
It is difficult, disconcerting communicative factor. The comfort level for eye contact is three seconds
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Facial expression:
Portray the moods and feelings of people.
Charles Darwin was one of the first to observe anddescribe facial expressions.
Not only do our faces reflect our internal states, but
our internal states might sometimes be the result of
our facial expression.
Kinesics:
The study of body movements and postures is called
kinesics and is popularly known as body language.
Much of the body language is involuntary orunconscious but it makes a powerful impact.
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Visual symbols: Colors are associated with different moods
and feelings. Motivation and state of mind of employees
are influenced by the color in the place ofwork.
Postures: Combines pictures and words.
Used for education and persuasion in matterslike the importance of saving, the danger of
drinking, the value of neat and cleanappearance, etc.
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Auditory signals: Sound signals are used mainly for warning.
Whistles are used by the police and the armyto call members assemble. Bells and Buzzers are used to indicate the
starting and ending of work periods. Tuners are often used as an identification
mark. Silence:
Silence is not a negative absence of speechbut a positive withdrawal or suspension of
speech. Short silences are very effective in giving
emphasis to words.
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Gestures: Movements of hands or head or body, they
are natural accompanied of speech. May not have specific or definite meaning.
No two persons make exactly the samegestures.
Space: The study of space as a communicative
system is called proxemics.
It is the study of the degree and effect of the
spatial separation that individuals naturallymaintain in various social and interpersonalsituations.
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Time:
Time given to listen and speak to people
creates a sense of self esteem in them; it isequated with care and concern for them.
Energy:
Energy conveys competence and inspiresrespect.
Clothing:
What we wear says something about us.
Appearance:
Grooming and accessories
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Unit II
Transactional Analysis
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Introduction
TA is a technique used to help people better understandtheir own and others behavior, especially ininterpersonal relationships.
It is a theory of psychotherapy founded by Dr.Eric Berne
in the 1950s. TA provides to organizations a comprehensive model of
personality, communication, motivation, conflictresolution, group dynamics, organization structure,leadership, goal-setting and problem solving.
In an organization it is applied at three levels as personallevel, group level, organizational level.
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Structural analysis of Ego
states
Consistent pattern of feelings & experiencesrelating to corresponding consistent pattern ofbehavior.
An ego states is a pattern of behavior that aperson develops as he/she grows up, based onhis/her accumulated network of feelings and
experiences. There are three ego states : parent, adult and
child.
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Parent ego state is the set offeelings, attitudes, values and
prejudices and behaviorsintrojected from parents andsignificant parental figures.
Adult ego state is thosefeelings, attitudes, behaviors
related to current her-and-nowreality.
Child ego state is the archaicfeelings, emotions, attitudes,and behaviors, which areremnants of the persons past.
Th f ti l d l f
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The functional model of ego
states
Critical parent, people manifest themselves asdisappointed, aggrieved, feeling always right, patronizing,controlling, critical, putting down others.
Nurturing parent, people act loving, caring, concerned,understanding, etc.
Adult function as a computer, process data, organize
information, estimate probabilities, make logicalstatements, and provide non-judgmental feedback.
Adapted child exhibit behavior of rebellion or compliance. Rebellious child disobeys, throws temper tantrums, feels
bored and distracts.
Compliant child acts loyal, withdraws, pleases others, feelshurt, sulks and always fells one down.
Free child tend to laugh, share fun, feel excited andenthusiastic, and express our anger, sadness and fearfreely without any inhibition.
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Diagnosis of ego states
Behavioral: Words, tones, gestures, pastures and facial
expression.
Social:
Response evoked from others around.
Historical:
Getting information about past from others.
phenomenological: When a person reexperiences what he/she
experienced as a child rather than just remembering
it.
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Types of Transactions
Complementary transactions:
The transactional vectors are parallel and the ego states
addressed is the one which responds.
Crossed transactions:
When the transactional vectors are not parallel, or in which the
ego state addressed is not the one which responds.
Ulterior transactions:
Happens when a person appears to be sending one message
overtly but secretly sending the other.
Gallows transactions:
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Strokes
It is a unit of recognition.
Strokes is an act implying recognition ofanothers presence verbally or nonverbally or
by physical contact. Strokes may be positive or negative
Positive strokes are those that help mostpeople to feel good. They tell the other person
youre OK. Negative strokes are those that would hurt
most people. They do say youre not OK.
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Types of strokes
Conditional strokes:
Is recognizing a person for doing something.
Unconditional strokes:
Is recognizing a person for being what he is. Positive strokes:
Are intended to create a pleasant feeling in the
receiver.
Negative strokes: Put the receiver down.
No strokes:
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STROKE BALANCE & STROKE RESERVOIR
Stroke balance type of stroke we experiencewhen we are young and effect of this in later life.
Stroke balance is the idea of stroke reservoir or
credit bank
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The stroke economy
False economy of strokes:
Dont give strokes when you have them.
Dont ask for strokes when you need
them. Dont accept strokes, if you need them.
Dont reject strokes, when you dont
need them. Dont stroke yourself.
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Life Positions
AttitudetowardSelf
Attitude toward others
Negative Positive
Negative
Positive
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TIME STRUCTURING
6 WAYS OF STRUCTURING Withdrawal no contact with others
Rituals socially programmed exchanges
Pastimes superficial exchanges about nonthreatening subjects
Activity external goal directed behaviour
Games recurring transactions with a concealed
motivation Intimacy game free honesty and openess, free of
exploitation
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Rackets
Racket is an internal or external process by which a personinterprets or manipulates his/her environment as he/sheidentifies a not OK or discounted position.
Rackets are self indulgence in feelings of guilt, inadequacy,hurt, fear and resentment.
A racket is a dual strategy of getting permitted feelings
and covering up those which we truly feel, as being notallowed.
Racket feelings are collected at the end of a game as itspayoff.
When a person is in a racket within oneself and
experiences racket feelings, it is an Internal racket. If another person becomes involved it is an external
racket.
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STAMPS
Stamps are feelings that an individual collects andstores rather than expressing at the instant theywere experienced. They are collected and stored until some future date
Different indvls collect different types
Eventually the stamps are redeemed
People review their stamps
Types red stamps -anger
Green stamps -envy
Brown stamps taking crap from people,
Real gold stamps love joy, acknowledgement
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Scripts
A life script is a personal plan decided onat an early age (4 7 years old) by eachindividual in response to external events.
Eric Bernes formula for script is as follows:
EPI PR C IB P
EPI Early Parental Influences
PR Programming.
C Compliance
IB Important Behavior
P Payoff/Results
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Types of scripts: Winner scripts (positive) have stated goals, achieve
them and feel good.
Loser scripts (negative) may not have a stated goal ormay have one but not achieve them. Non-winner scripts (banal) have ordinary goals and
may reach close to it.
Script matrix is a diagram designed to illustrateand analyze the directive handles down from
parents and grandparents and the role modelshown to them, which influenced the scriptdecision of a child.
Sweat shirts: Tells how the individual likes to structure time.
Hell always have a message of I cant.
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Applications of TA
Aims of TA in training Improve relationship Decrease manipulation Increase understanding Help people grow Reduce self defeat
Increase assertiveness Increase self confidence
Areas of applications In interpersonal communication New way of looking at management & leadership
greater contribution to make OD A possible explanation of some forms of accident proneness A new approach to the old problem of effective time management.
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Unit III
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
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The Research:
Almost 90% of success inleadership is attributable to EQ.
Mi d d B d
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Mind and Body
Can the body affect the mind?
Example?
How about the mind affecting
the body? Example?
Two-way communicationbetween mind and body
P h ti M di i
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Psychosomatic Medicine
Psyche (mind) Soma (body)
Butterflies in thestomach
Anxious before givingspeech
Indigestion, nausea
Stress may contribute togetting an ulcer.
ANXIETY
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ANXIETY
Personal & subjective feeling
Nervous breakdown
Occurs due to unpleasant times
FIGHT / FLIGHT SITUATION
Arises mainly due to incompetence
Acute stress prolonged anxiety
B dil t
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Bodily symptoms
Adrenaline - clotting of blood & embolism
Head aches & back aches
BP high, stomach & bowel disorder diabetes
- imaginary / real feeling loss of lifeavoid disclose the facts & face the reality
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Acute anxiety arise from interpersonalion relation,self esteem, job overload etc
Every one has memeories, past exp, fears, worries which are locked but do not admit leads to
unpleasant symptoms Nuerotic anxiety defence mech
1.repression
2. projection
Other defence mech dependancy, messianic hopeetc
t
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stress
Stress is an experience that createsphysiological and psychological imbalanceswithin a person.
It is a body reaction to any demands or changesin its internal and external environment.
In simple words, stress refers to pressures ortensions people feel in life.
Selye has defined stress as the non-specificresponse of the body to any demand made
upon it. Stress was equated with force, pressure or
strain.
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Although stress is typically discussed in anegative context, it also has a positive value.
Stress is a dynamic condition in which an
individual is confirmed with an opportunity,constraint, or demand related to what he or shedesires and for which the outcome is perceivedto be both uncertain and important.
Typically stress is associated with constraintsand demands. The former prevent you fromdoing what you desire. The latter refers to theloss of something desired.
Two conditions are necessary for potential
stress to become actual stress. There must beuncertainty over the outcome and the outcomemust be important.
E t d Di t
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Eustress and Distress
Under stressed
(Distress)Over stressed
(Distress)
Optimum
stress
(Eustress)
Low High
High
Performance
Stress
Potential sources of stress
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Potential sources of stress
Environmental factors:- Economic uncertainties Political uncertainties Technological uncertainties
Organizational factors:-
Task demand Role demand Interpersonal demand Organizational structure Organizational leadership
Individual factors:- Family problems Economic problem Personality
Individual differences
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Individual differences
Perception
Job experience
Social support
Belief in locus of control
Self sufficiency
Hostility
Consequences of stress
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Consequences of stress
Physiological symptoms Headaches
High blood pressure
Heart disease
Psychological symptoms Anxiety
Depression
Decrease in job satisfaction
Behavioral symptoms Productivity Absenteeism
Turnover
Stress management
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Stress management
Coping strategies at the organizational level:- Organizational role clarity Job redesign Stress reduction and stress management programmes Collateral programmes (personal wellness)
Supportive organization climate Counseling
Coping strategies by individuals Relaxation Time management
Role management Mediation Support group
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Reducing the effects of
stress Stress is less harmful if Have some control (even if just belief).
Predictable (going to feel a little pinch).
Know the duration. Coping mechanism.
Some way to relieve stress.
Positive attitude.
Active participant in process.
Relieve stress
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Relieve stress
Meditation
Listening to soothingmusic
Taking a quiet walk Reduce stress
Eliminate butterflies
Affects on long term health
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Affects on long-term health
Attitude towards illness canaffect healing.
Thought, beliefs andemotions have major impacton physical health.
Link between mind and bodyis the immune system.
What is Emotion?
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What is Emotion?
Internal conscious states that we infer inourselves and others.
Emotions are private experiences.
We use operational definitions because wecannot actually see feelings.
We infer observable behavior associatedwith emotion.
Four components of Emotion
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Four components of Emotion
Social-
Expressive
Sense of
Purpose
Bodily
Arousal
Feelings
Emotion
Significant life event
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Feeling component
Emotions are subjective feelings
Make us feel in a particular way.
Anger or joy. Meaning and personal significance.
Vary in intensity and quality.
Rooted in mental processes (labeling).
Bodily Arousal
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Bodily Arousal
Biological activation.
Autonomic and hormonal systems.
Prepare and activate adaptive coping
behavior during emotion.
Body prepared for action.
Alert posture, clenched fists.
Purposive component
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Purposive component
Give emotion its goal-directed force.
Motivation to take action.
Cope with emotion-causing circumstances.
Why people benefit from emotions.
Social and evolutionary advantage.
Social-Expressive component
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Social-Expressive component
Emotions communicative aspect.
Postures, gestures, vocalizations, facialexpressions make our emotions public.
Verbal and nonverbal communication.
Helps us interpret the situation.
How person reacts to event.
Emotions read in the face
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Emotions read in the face
The Japanese Female Facial Expression (JAFFE) Database
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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
The ability to monitor ones own and othersfeelings and emotions, to discriminateamong them and use this information to
guide ones thinking and action.
i
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25 competencies
Divided into 5 dimensions:
Personal Competence:
Self Awareness
Self Management
Motivation
Social Competence:
Empathy
Social Skills
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Personal Competence
Self-Awareness
Self-Management Motivation
lf
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Self-Awareness
Personal Competence
Self-Awareness
Emotional AwarenessAccurate Self-Assessment
Self-Confidence
Self-Management
Motivation
lf
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Self-Management
Personal Competence
Self Management Self-Awareness
Self Control Emotional Awareness
Trustworthiness Self-AssessmentConscientiousness Self-Confidence
Adaptability
Innovation Motivation
Motivation
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Motivation
Motivation Self-Awareness
Achievement Drive Emotional Awareness
Commitment Self-Assessment
Initiative Self-ConfidenceOptimism
Self Management
Self Control
Trustworthiness
Conscientiousness
Adaptability
Innovation
S i l C t
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Social Competence
Empathy
Social Skills
E th
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Empathy
Social Competence
EmpathyUnderstanding OthersDeveloping OthersService Orientation
Leveraging DiversityPolitical AwarenessSocial Skills
S i l Skill
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Social SkillsSocial Competence
Empathy Social Skills
Understand Others Influence
Developing Others Communication
Service Orientation Conflict Management
Leveraging Diversity LeadershipPolitical Awareness Change Catalyst
Building Bonds
Collaboration/Cooperation
Team Capabilities
E ti l I t lli M
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Emotional Intelligence Map
Self-Awareness Empathy
Emotional Awareness Understand Others
Accurate Self-Assessment Developing Others
Self-Confidence Service Orientation
Self Management Leveraging DiversitySelf Control Political Awareness
Trustworthiness Social Skills
Conscientiousness Influence
Adaptability Communication
Innovation Conflict Management
Motivation Leadership
Achievement Drive Change Catalyst
Commitment Building Bonds
Initiative Collaboration & Cooperation
Optimism Team Capabilities
M d l f EI
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Models of EI
Ability based model
Mixed model
Trait model
Abilit b d EI d l
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Ability based EI model
Helps one to make sense of and navigate the socialenvironment.
Includes 4 types of abilities-
-Perceiving emotions- ability to detect and interpretemotions in faces, pictures, voices and culturalarticrafts including the ability to identify ones ownemotions.
- Using emotions ability to harness emotions tofacilitate various cognitive activities, such asthinking and problem solving.
Abilit b d d l
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Ability based model
Understanding Emotions ability tocomprehend language and ability toappreciate complicated relationships among
emotions. Managing emotions ability to regulate
emotions in both ourselves and in others.
Mi d d l
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Mixed models
Emotional Competencies (Goleman) Model
Bar On Model of Emotional SocialIntelligence (ESI)
Mixed models
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Mixed models
Emotional Competencies ( Goleman) Model
Self Awareness- ability to read ones emotions and
recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide
decisions.
Self Management- involves controlling ones emotions and
impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
Social Awareness ability to sense, understand and reacts
to others emotions while comprehending social networks.
Relationship Management- ability to inspire, influence anddevelop others while managing conflict.
Bar On Model of Emotional
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Bar On Model of Emotional
Social Intelligence ( ESI)
Use of EQ Emotion Quotient.
Identifies ways to improve EQ throughtraining, programming & therapy
Trait model
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Trait model
Petrides et al proposed a conceptualdistinction between the ability based modeland trait based model
Trait EI /Trait emotional self efficacy refersto a collection of behavioral dispositions andself perceptions concerning ones ability to
recognise, process and utilize emotion ladeninformation.
Advantages
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Advantages
Improves Relationships
Improves communication with others
Better empathy skills
Acting with integrity
Respect from others
Manage change more confidently.
Identifying Emotions
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Identifying Emotions
Skills needed to perceive and expressfeelings.
Recognizing facial expressions.
Non-verbal communication.
Tell when someone is being authentic.
Express accurate emotions for situation.
Foundation for other branches.
Identifying Emotions (MSCEIT)
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y g ( )
Facilitating Emotions
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Facilitating Emotions
(Branch 2) Using emotions to facilitate thinking.
Improve problem solving and boost creativity.
Emotional component to motivation.
Care enough to send the very best.
Using emotion to help make decisions.
Facilitation (MSCEIT)
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( )
What mood(s) might be helpful to feel when meeting in-laws for the
very first time?
Not Useful Usefula) Tension 1 2 3 4 5
b) Surprise 1 2 3 4 5 c) Joy 1 2 3 4 5
Understanding emotions (Branch
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Understanding emotions (Branch
3)
Understanding complex and conflictingemotions.
Emotions and behavioral consequences.
Read a situation and respond correctly.
Some emotional responses are maladaptive.
Jealousy and envy are destructive.
Understanding Emotions (MSCEIT)
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g ( )
Tom felt anxious, and became a bit stressed when hethought about all the work he needed to do. When hissupervisor brought him an additional project, he felt____. (Select the best choice.)
a) Overwhelmed b) Depressed
c) Ashamed
d) Self Conscious
e) Jittery
Managing emotions (Branch 4)
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Managing emotions (Branch 4)
Developing mood regulation skills.
Productive ways to change mood.
Avoid over and under regulation.
Seek natural means rather than alcohol,tobacco or other drugs.
Stress coping strategies.
Use optimistic explanatory style.
Managing Emotions (Branch 4)
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g g ( )
1. Debbie just came back from vacation. She was feeling peaceful andcontent. How well would each action preserve her mood?
Action 1: She started to make a list of things at home that she neededto do.
Very Ineffective..1.....2.....3.....4.....5..Very Effective
Action 2: She began thinking about where and when she would go onher next vacation.
Very Ineffective..1.....2.....3.....4.....5..Very Effective
Action 3: She decided it was best to ignore the feeling since it wouldn'tlast anyway.
Very Ineffective..1.....2.....3.....4.....5..Very Effective
How to Increase Your EQ
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How to Increase Your EQ
Conduct a personal inventory.
Analyze the setting & identify skills needed.
Enlist trusted friends.
Focus on a few competencies.
Practice, practice, practice.
Be observant and reflective.
Dont expect immediate results.
Learn from your mistakes.
Acknowledge your successes.
Unit IV
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Counseling, Coaching &
Mentoring
Counseling:-
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g
It is a problem solving technique which uses a one
onone process to help employees solve their
problem.
Psychotherapy through counseling provides
opportunities for those seeking help to live more
satisfying and happy lives.
A counselor does not label or diagnose you. Performance counseling:-
It is the help provided by the manager to his
subordinates in analyzing their performance and
other job behavior in order to increase the jobeffectiveness.
Objectives of counseling
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It aims at development of the counselee. Help him to realize his potential.
Strengths and weakness
More insight on ones behavior
Better understanding of environment
Increase personal & interpersonal effectiveness
Set goals and action plans
Review the progress
Types of counseling
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Directive counseling:-
Process of listening to a members problem, deciding withthe member what should be done, and then encouragingand motivating the person to do it.
Nondirective counseling:-
Or client centered counseling is the process of skillfullylistening to a counselee, encouraging the person to explainbothersome problems, helping him/her to understandthose problems and determine courses of action.
Listen between the lines
Individual counseling:-
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Provides one-to-one interaction between you and acounselor, on a short term basis.
Group counseling:- Provides an opportunity for inter interaction with
others who share similar concerns or themes.
Outreach and student development:- Student workshops, seminars and other educational
programmes. Crisis counseling:-
To assess psychological emergencies that warrantimmediate intervention.
Faculty and staff intervention:- Faculty and staff are in a unique position to recognize
and refer those students who appear distressed.
Counseling process
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Counseling
Communication Helping
Influencing
Responding
Listening
Feedback
Empathy
Development
Mutuality
PositiveReinforcement
Autonomy
Identification
Phases of Counseling process
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Phases of Counseling process
Develop Relationships respect,genuineness, empathy, equality, listening,confidentiality.
Define Problems examine the problem,prioritise relevant issues, focusing on theperspective, accept the problem, emphasize
on self responsibility, analyse and solve theproblem
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Determine goals choose & prioritize thegoals and objectives, making commitment,.
Decide plan of action generating and
exploring alternatives, decision making,specific steps
Follow up All talk & No action, Emotional
Block.
Conditions for Effective
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counseling
Openness and trust Helpful attitude
Dialogic relationship
Work oriented behavior
Work related problems
Avoidance of discussion of salary andother rewards
Being patient while listening to theemployee
Not jumping to conclusions
Critical Dimensions of
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Counseling
Empathy:- Ability to perceive the clients feelings, and to
demonstrate accurate perception to the client.
Warmth:-
Unconditional positive regard. It involves acceptingand caring about the client as a person, regardless
any evaluation of his behaviors or thoughts.
Respect:-
Our belief in the clients ability to make appropriatedecisions and deal appropriately with his/her life
situation.
Congruence:-
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Or genuineness is being honest andauthentic in our dealings with our client.
It also involves knowing our limits in terms ofskills, time and energy and not committingourselves beyond those limits.
Confidentiality:- Normally means that anything discussed
during a counseling session is held asabsolutely private and not discussedelsewhere.
This is essential to the client feeling safe inspeaking about intimate and painful matters.
Approaches to counseling:
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pp g Humanistic approach client centered.
Behavioral approach
Cognitive approach thinking
Transaction analysis nurturing parent.
How to learn counseling?Workshop Watching videos
Certificates In-house trainingReading Degrees offered
Elements in counseling training: Theory input
Self exploration Make a skill framework
Relating practice to theory.
ELEMENTS OF COUNSELLING
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Listening The problem at hand
Bulls eye of the problem
Recognising and admitting feelings & criticism
Problem solving and influencing the directions.
Counselling helping strategy
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Concerned with the client Concerned with the problem
Include the client in solving the problem
Exclude the client from solving the problem
Telling
Manipulating
Advicing
Counselling
PREDICTING PEOPLES PROBLEMS
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Managers to solve problems training &experience, promotion
Problem
reality differs from expectationrevenue expected cash flow
proposed pdtn actual pdtn
Problem in orgn technical, human
PREDICTING PEOPLES PROBLEMS
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elcot sagarus 3 factors to balance1. equitable payment when payment is felt to befair
2. content of work itself3. capacity of individual
Sigmond frued authority and position of ldr
- interpersonal relations
PREDICTING PEOPLES PROBLEMS
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HERZBERGS REASONS
Personality
External problems
Organisational related
Personality problems
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Stems from nature of individuals(behaviour)- poor self image but high opinion of others
- poor self image but low opinion of others
- an over estimation of his own abilitiesPeople in orgn develop variety of feelings (beh)
go in for counselling
Causes for anxiety tech. competence,underwork, over work, uncertain future, relationship
External problems -Reasons for
i
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counselling
Keeping & losing a job Unsatisfactory / conflicting working relation
Felt injustices or nepotism & favouritism
Unsaturated relation with authority Job development
Absenteeism due to experimental relation
- alcoholism
Organisational problems
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Behavioural predictors due to dynamics whichaffect perf. at work.
problems may be due to
- marriage, bereavement, depressionFrued work of mourning requires a great deal of
mental & emotional energy & effort
Depression lack of sleep,drive, alcoholism,smoke illness requires professional help
JOURNEY INTO LIFE SPACE
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Kurt lewin understand group dynamics Philosophy of here and now
LS of child & LS of adult differs hence
understanding between the force is a must LS of adult kurt 5 stages
- Easier to establish contact with children
- Gaining entry not an easy task- Every one develops phisical way of defending
others
How to behave within LS
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Entry into LS priviledged process Honour & respect the sentiments of others
Do not crititcize others which leads to
threatening Ways to explore LS
- People tend to push unpleasant facts &
memories- Cr to help people see things in difft angles
- Cr leads the process by putting difft type of
questions
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MENTORING
Mentorship
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p
A mentor is an individual with expertisewho can help develop the career of a
mentee. The mentor guides, trains, advises,
and promotes the career development of thementee.
Two types of mentoring functions:
Career Psychosocial
Mentoring Functions
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g
Career Functions: Help the mentee learnthe ropes and prepare for career
advancement.
Coaching Challenging assignments
Exposure and visibility
Protection
Mentoring Functions
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Psychosocial Functions: Help the menteedevelop a sense of competence and clarity
of identity.
Role-Modeling Acceptance and confirmation
Counseling
Friendship
Stages of Mentoring
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g g
Initiation Stage
Cultivation Stage
Separation Stage
Redefinition Stage
Not all stages are beneficial to the mentor or tothe mentee.
Advantages of Mentoring
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g g
Advantages for the mentee: Career advancement
Salary
Organizational/professional identification
Advantages for the mentor: Career enhancement
Passing the torch to a new generation
Learning from mentee new technologies, newdevelopments, important features of nextgeneration
Disadvantages of Mentoring
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Disadvantages for the mentee: Overdependence on the mentor
Micro-management from the mentor
Negative halo from mentor who fails
Disadvantages for the mentor: Mentee dependence on mentor
Time, energy commitment to mentee
Negative halo from mentee who fails
Problems With Cross-
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Gender Mentoring
Most common form of business mentoring:male mentor and male mentee.
Other forms:
Male mentor and female mentee (most common) Female mentor and male mentee
Female mentor and female mentee (rare)
Advice for Same-Gender
d d i
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and Cross-Gender Mentoring
Keep relationship professional Be sensitive to other peoples reactions and
potential rumors
Avoid perception of personal relationship Meet in public venues
Transparency of relationship
Formal Mentoring Programs
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Program length is specified (12 months) Purpose of program is to help early career
psychologists establish and develop theircareers
Program participation is voluntary Matching of mentors and mentees uses input
from participants Interest areas in psychology Demographics Experiences
Role of Mentees
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Seek counsel and advice, not a supervisor whodirects actions.
Be aware of potential pitfalls: Overbearing
mentor, mentor exploitation of mentees
work. Be sensitive to the differencebetween asking for help/advice from your
mentor and demanding favors from your
mentor.
Synthesize lessons learned from all
mentors become your own person.
Recognize dynamics of relationship.
Role of Mentors
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Offer advice that helps mentee develop role is NOT to make decisions for mentee or
micromanage.
Train to be efficient. Guidance and advice for one
mentee may also be appropriate for another. Be aware of potential pitfalls: overdependence of
mentee, mentee exploitation of mentors influence.
Be sensitive to difference between developing a
mentee and using a mentee.
Be aware of dynamics of relationship: Developmental
needs may change.
Distance Mentoring
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How to use e-mail Use e-mail to set up meetings (face-to-face or phone),
clarify plans/goals, pose non-time urgent questions, reviewplans, maintain contact.
Dont use e-mail to give critical or complex feedback,
provide impressions of others behavior, provideimpressions of third parties, exchange sensitiveinformation.
Communication Challenges Listen for nonverbal cues (e.g., pregnant pauses, voice
tone, tempo, volume) Push for specific information, clarify meanings
Summarize agreements
Unit V
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Assertiveness
Assertiveness
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It is the ability to express yourself and yourrights without violating the rights of others.
It is appropriately direct, open and honestcommunication which is self enhancing and
expressive. Will allow you to feel self-confident and will
generally gain you the respect of your peersand friends.
Will improve your decision making ability andpossibly your chances of getting what youreally want from life.
Legitimate rights
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The right to decide how to lead your life.
The right to your own values, beliefs, opinions, andemotions.
The right not to justify or explain your action or feelings toothers.
The right to tell others how you wish to be treated.
The right to express yourself and say No, I dont know,I dont care.
The right to ask for information or help.
The right to change your mind.
The right to like yourself even though youre not perfect. The right to have positive, satisfying relationships within
which you feel.
The right to change, enhance, or develop your life inanyway you determine.
Assertiveness is expressing our thoughts,feelings and beliefs in a direct honest
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feelings and beliefs in a direct, honestand appropriate way.
We are consciously working toward awin-win solution.
Aggressiveness is we put our wants,
needs, and rights above those of others. Strives for a win-lose solution.
Nonassertive behavior is passive andindirect. It permits others to violate ourrights and shows a lack of respect for ourown needs.
It creates a lose-win situation.
Categories of assertive
behavior
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behaviorChrisoff and Kelly at 1985
Refusal assertiveness how to say no at the right time andin the right way. State your position Explain your reason Express understanding
Commendatory assertiveness telling people how youfeel. Express positive feelings Express negative feelings
Request assertiveness to get information, clarification,and ask for what you want. State the problem Make a request Getting clarification
Assertiveness cycle
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Assertiveness
Getting what
you wantSelf confidence
High self esteem
How to develop Assertive
skills
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skills
Be direct, honest & open about your feelings, opinions andstate your goals
Dont let your friends, etc to reinforce their behavior onyou.
Be honest in giving & receiving complement.
Learn to say NO to unreasonable requests.
Avoid why questions then you tend to be defensive.
Recognize & respect rights of your friends & others.
Ask for feedback.
Use appropriate tone and body posture.
Develop your vocabulary Dress well
Maintain dignity always
Focus on your strengths
Keep cool
Assertiveness and work
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Unpack the workplace kit bag beliefs rules. Exploring some workplace myths, mistakes not
allowed what facts.
Handling oppositions 3 stage message identifybehavior state the effect ask for change
Giving & receiving feedback
Win-win situation
Assertiveness techniques
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Behavior rehearsal: Literally practicing how you want to look and sound.
Repeated Assertion (the broken record) Use calm repetition and say what you want and stay focused on this issue.
Fogging this technique allows you to receive criticism comfortably, without getting anxious
or defensive, and without rewarding manipulative criticism.
Negative enquiry Seeks out criticism about yourself in close relationships by prompting the
expression of honest, negative feelings to improve communication.
Negative assertion Lets you look more comfortably at negatives in your own behavior.
Workable compromise When you feel that your self-respect is not in question, consider a workable
compromise with the other person.
Assertive Communication
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Make statements that are honest, clear, brief,
and to the point
Use I statement : Id like, I appreciate, I
think
Distinguish between fact and opinion
Ask, dont tell
Offer improvement suggestions, not advice
and commands
Verbally,
assertive
people :
Assertive Communication
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Verbally,
assertive
people :
Offer constructive criticism, free of blame,
assumptions, and shoulds
Ask questions to find out the thoughts and
feelings of others
Respect the rights of others as well as their
own rights
Communicate mutual respect where the needs
of two people conflict, and look for mutually
acceptable solutions
Assertive Communication
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Non
Verbally,
assertive
people :
Make appropriate eye contact
Sit or stand firmly and comfortably erect
Gesture openly to support their comments
Speak in a clear, steady, firm tone of voice
Assertive Communication
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Non
Verbally,
assertive
people :
Maintain open, steady, relaxed facial
expressions, smiling when pleased,
frowning when angry
Speak a steady, even pace, emphasizing keywords, with few awkward hesitations
Manage your body language
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g y y g g
Sit or stand at right angles and on the same level, and respect
peoples personal space zones
Use open gestures and body language
Center your attention exclusively on the other person
Lean slightly forward to show interest; a bit further forward to
apply pressure, slightly back to reduce pressure
Manage your body language
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Maintain appropriate eye contact while listening to encourage the
speaker; increase eye contact to apply pressure; reduce it to lower
pressure
Respond appropriately by basing your responses on what the other
person has just said
Be relaxed and balanced to make relaxed and open communication
easier