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LeadinginMontanawithGraciousSpace
MakeYourMeetingsaSafeSpaceforHonestConversation
byPaulAxtellAPRIL11,2019HARVARDBUSINESSREVIEW
Irecentlymetwithagroupofmanagerstodiscusswaystoimprovemeetings.Ourgoalwastofigureouthowtocreateaspacethatpeopleactuallylookforwardtobeingin.Weeachbeganbydescribingameetingwerememberedasespeciallypowerful.
Onestorystoodout.
Mycolleaguetoldusaboutatimewhenhewasayoungengineerworkingonseveralprojectteamsinamanufacturingfacility.Hesaid,“Josh,mymanager,wouldtakeeveryoneoutforpizzawhenhecametothefactory,andwe’dhavea‘nosecrets’meeting.Joshaskedusaboutwhateverhewantedtoknowandwedidthesameinreturn.Itwasameetingwhereeveryonehadpermissiontosayoraskanything.Itwasamazing.”
Joshusedthesemeetingstodiscoverhowhisteamwasdoing,howtheirprojectswereprogressing,andwhattheyneededintermsofsupportandresources.Heaskedbroadquestionstoinitiateopenconversation:
WhatdoyouthinkIneedtoknow?Whereareyoustruggling?Whatareyouproudof?
Therewasnopressuretohaveaperfectanswer.Theonlyrequirementwastobehonestandsincere.Ofcourse,ithelpedthatJoshwasathoughtful,authentic,andcaringmanager—qualitiesneededtocreatethepsychologicalsafetysuchaconversationrequires.
Thequestforbettermeetingsultimatelyliesinleadingwithmutualrespectful,inclusivity,andestablishingaspacethatissafeenoughforpeopletospeaktheirminds.YoumaynotneedtodoexactlywhatJoshdid,butyoucanincreasethefreedom,candor,andqualityofconversationinyourownmeetingsbyfocusingontwokeyareas:givingpermissionandcreatingsafety.
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Here’show.
Let’sstartwithpermission.Permissiontosayoraskanythingispriceless.Itallowsustofullyexpressourselves:toseekwhatwewant,togivefeedback,tospeakupaboutissueswhenwefindtheneed.Byannouncingthathewouldliketohavea“nosecrets”meeting,Joshwasgivinghisteampermissiontodisplayalevelofcandorthatisn’treachedinmostsettings.Heaskedthosewhospokenottoholdbackoredittheirthoughts.Heaskedthosewholistenedtogivetheirpeersachancetobefullyheard,whichiswhatweallwant—tosayexactlywhatwearethinkingandberespectedforsayingit.
Inyourownmeetings,talkaboutpermissionupfront—it’sbesttoaddressitdirectlyratherthanassumeit’salreadythere.Whatpermissionwouldyoulikefromthegroupsothatyoucanleadeffectively?Whatpermissiondoesthegroupneedfromyoutosuccessfullyparticipate?
Asaleader,askyourteampermissionto:
• keeptheconversationontrackwhenitdivergesorgetsrepetitive • callonpeoplewhohavenotyetspoken • holdpeoplebackiftheyaredominatingtheconversation • askclarifyingquestionswhenyouneedsomeonetoelaborate • Empoweryourteambyremindingthemthattheyhavepermissionto: • askquestionsatanytime • invitecolleaguesintotheconversationiftheyhavenotspokenasktospendextra
timeonatopic • askotherpeopletosaymoreaboutwheretheystandonanissueexpressconcerns
thathaven’tbeenfullyaddressed
Finally,encourageyourteam(andyourself)toaskpermissionbeforemakingacomment.Itwillhelpensurethatyourcommentsarenon-threateningandreceivedthoughtfully.Beforespeakingout,say:
MayIaskyousomething?MayItellyousomething?MayIgiveyousomecoaching?MayIpushbackabitonwhatyouaresaying?
Ifthatfeelsliketoomuchtoremember,themaintakeawayis:Youandyourteamhavearighttoaskforwhateveryouneedtobeeffectiveinameeting—toleadforresults,tofullyexpressyourselves,andtoaddvaluetothediscussion.
Now,let’sfocusonsafety.Thedegreetowhichapersonfeelssafeinameetingsettingislargelybasedontheirpreviousexperiences.Manyofushave—atonepointoranother—experiencedfeelingasifwewerenotheardorappreciatedwhenwespokeup.Butwhenpeoplefeeltheircommentswillbelistenedtoandtreatedwithrespect,theyaremore
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likelytobevulnerableandsayexactlywhattheyarethinking.Conversationsbecomebroaderanddeeperwheneveryoneisinvolvedandfeelssafeenoughtospeaktheirminds.
• Tocreatepsychologicalsafetyduringameeting:• askthegrouptodevotetheirfullattentiontoeachpersonwhospeaks(dothisatthe
startofthemeeting) • alloweachpersontotaketheirtimeandcompletetheirthoughts • askfollow-upquestionsforclarityifnecessary • sharewhatisvaluableaboutsomeone’squestionorcomment • usepeople’snamesandreferbacktoearliercommentsthey’vemade • invitepeopleintotheconversationwhohavenotspoken • answeranyandallquestionstruthfully • summarizewhatyoulearnedasthemeetingcomestoanend • explainwhatactionsyouwilltaketoputthoseinsightstouseandaskyourteamfor
theirsuggestionsaswell • acknowledgethequalityoftheconversationandthankthegroupforit
Afterthemeeting,followupby:
• completingtheactionitemsbythedeadlinesyouset • notsharingtheconversationwithotherswithoutpermission • sendingwrittenthankyounotestoparticipants(whenappropriate) • followingupwithpeopletoensuretheircommentswereaddressedtotheir
satisfaction
Peopledon’tjustwanttobelong,theywanttocontribute.Youcangiveyourteamtheopportunitytodosobyapplyingtheaboveprinciples.Intheprocessofhavingmorecandid,mutuallyrespectfulconversations,yourteamwillbecomemorecohesiveandabletoworktogethermorepowerfully.Theymayevenbegintolookforwardtoyourmeetingsbecauseoftheremarkableconversationsthatpermissionandsafetycreate.Andbetterstill,youmayevenstarttolookforwardtoleadingthosemeetings.