The Humble Man

Luke 14:7-11And He began speaking a parable to the invited guests when He noticed how they had been picking out the places of honor at the table, saying to them, "When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for someone more distinguished than you may have been invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, 'Give your place to this man,' and then in disgrace you proceed to occupy the last place. But when you are invited, go and recline at the last place, so that when the one who has invited you comes, he may say to you, 'Friend, move up higher'; then you will have honor in the sight of all who are at the table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

“Hey Pawel! It’s Friday!” Pawel’s friend at work slapped him on the back, almost knocking the coffee cup Pawel had just reheated out of his hands.

“Thank God for that,” Pawel answered back, “it’s been a rough week.”“I’ll see you tonight at the party won’t I?” Pawel’s friend loved going to parties. Since

beginning this new job Pawel had been told countless times of the fun the staff has together at parties. He had never worked at a place that paid so much attention to building a family of friends. Pawel wasn’t in his new classroom longer than five minutes on his first day when his friend popped his head in the room and introduced himself. He liked him right away, he seemed the kind of a man that you could trust and that truly meant what he said, both in his words and his actions. Ever since that first day, he had been Pawel’s friend and benefactor, showing him the ropes in the school and helping him wade through the daunting red tape that is so often superimposed on top of their regular classroom duties.

“Yes, I’m going. After all you’ve been telling me about this school I am looking forward to seeing if you are for real.” Pawel was also looking forward to the opportunity to get to know the higher-ups a little better. He didn’t know how to schmooze exactly and whenever he tried he usually fell flat on his face, but he definitely was looking for any opportunity to show his principal and the other teachers that he was a good teacher and a valuable addition to the school. If you had asked him just then what his motivation for wanting to be recognized in this way he would have told you that it was in order to be more effective in his teaching. He reasoned that if he had the approval of his superiors then he would be in a better position to receive support and have an influence on the way the school was operated thereby increasing the good that they all were doing for the children and ultimately for the kingdom of God.

“Great!” Pawel’s friend was nothing if not exuberant and he echoed this response with another slap on Pawel’s back that succeeded in slopping his coffee this time. “Then I’ll see you there. Don’t be late, the festivities begin at six!” And with that he was gone, whistling a little tune to himself until Pawel heard him shout another greeting and friendly remark into a classroom down the hall.

Pawel smiled to himself; another good end to a hard week. He wiped up the coffee from the counter in the break room and gathered his things together for his ride home.

“This has got to be the house,” Pawel leaned forward and squinted to see the house numbers. “Yep, there’s Mr. and Mrs. Brown.” Pawel pulled up to the curb, straightened his tie and what was left of his hair in the rear view mirror and got out of his car. Pawel was greeted on the walk by his principal, Mr. Brown, and shown into the house by his wife. The whole interior was awash in the reds and greens of Christmas. There were candles and lights flickering everywhere and an enormous tree graced the entranceway. Just inside the door there were tables

set up with place settings for all of the teachers and staff of the elementary school. Pawel’s friend had told him that in the many years he had been teaching at the school the principal had never failed to throw a party at Christmastime for all of his staff. The parties had gotten bigger over the years until they were the full-fledged sit down meals with speeches, jokes, and story telling that Pawel was expecting this evening.

Pawel immediately began looking for his friend and the one or two others that he knew on a first name basis from the school. Not finding anyone with whom to break the ice with, he drifted over to the food tables where small groups were loosely gathered and snacking on finger foods. Pawel got himself a small plate and placed a modest amount of food on it. Not seeing an opening to join one of the small groups he decided to take a seat at one of the dinner tables. He did not see any order to the seating other than that there seemed to be a main table and then others arranged systematically before it. There were no name cards present and no other identifying marks available to inform him where he should sit. Pawel walked around all of the tables to make sure there were indeed no reserved seats identified and then in a rash moment chose to seat himself at the main table. His timing was such that just as he was sitting the host was beginning to make his call to the other guests to come and settle themselves down at the tables to begin dinner. Pawel stayed where he was and watched as the others chose seats for themselves. He noticed that there was indeed some hierarchy demonstrated in the seating arrangements. The principal and his wife sat at the main table as did a few members of the school board and some of the senior teachers. Pawel was a little uncomfortable that his rashness would lead to embarrassment but put it out of his mind thinking that his choice of seats was innocent ultimately and might even have been wise as it would afford him the opportunity to position himself before the others as he had hoped to do.

Mr. Brown remained standing while his staff found places to sit and gently tapped his glass with his fork to get their attention. As the gathering of old and new friends quieted down Mr. Brown smiled and announced, “We have something new for you this year. As you know, you who have been with our school for many years, these celebrations of the birth of Jesus have grown into quite extravagant affairs. This year will be no exception. We welcome tonight a speaker joining us from the State Board of Education with a word on the state of the school system and some very kind words about the excellent job you have all been doing for our students in particular. You will be happy to know that our efforts have not gone unnoticed in the state capital! We also have some of the usual if not strangely odd humor from our own Mr. Jefferies who tells me that this year has provided him with some very funny new material. But before all of that, and before the exchange of our gifts, let me share with you some very exciting news. News that will make you smile with approval and good will but news that will also make you a little sad when you realize its implications for the rest of us.”

At this point Mr. Brown scanned the faces of the guests seated at his table and then of those gathered at the other tables as if looking for someone in particular. Pawel noticed his eyes resting on the face of his friend from school and his principal’s look of excitement quickly change to a look of concern. Mr. Brown turned his gaze back upon those seated at his own table and rested them momentarily upon the face of Pawel. Pawel’s stomach turned as he fearfully understood that there was indeed some mistake about where he was seated. There was an awkward pause before Mr. Brown cleared his throat and said to his friend, I am so sorry Mr. Pouer, in all the excitement and confusion of greeting the guests I have forgotten to tell you that you are my guest of honor tonight!” With that, all heads turned to look at Mr. Pouer and Pawel

could see in their faces their appreciation of him and their approval of his being the guest of honor.

Mr. Brown continued, “I have not done this before, but as I have said, these parties have been regularly changing over the years, and as you will soon see, this year we have something new to celebrate. Mr. Pouer, will you please come forward and sit at this table with me?”

Pawel looked quickly around the table to see if there were enough seats, somehow knowing that it was him who had taken the wrong seat. Sure enough, there were no other empty seats and as Mr. Pouer made his way to the table Pawel realized the extent of his error.

As Mr. Pouer made his way forward the group of friends applauded strenuously and Pawel heard shouts of praise and terms of endearment called out to him. When he reached the table Mr. Brown took him by the hand and ushered him to the place before Pawel and said, “I apologize, Mr. Pawel, but would you kindly give up your seat for Mr. Pouer? We have some exciting news to share.”

Pawel could barely disguise his embarrassment at having to remove himself from the main table and find his way to the chair that Mr. Pouer had so unobtrusively taken. He felt every eye upon him as he made his way to the back but what is more he felt every eye leave him and return to Mr. Pouer where they rightfully remained to hear the news Mr. Brown was waiting to announce. Instead of finding a place among his superiors Pawel had only found a place by himself with his shame.

Pawel did not listen to all that Mr. Brown said about Mr. Pouer, about his years of service and coming retirement, about Mr. Pouer’s plans to join the mission field and continue to serve God in far away places. Pawel did not listen to Mr. Pouer as he thanked Mr. Brown and his other friends for their kindnesses to him over the years. Pawel could not bring himself to share in the moment of a man who so clearly deserved the recognition he was receiving and the blessing they were giving him for his future plans. Pawel could only put on a façade of interest and well meaning that masked his inner turmoil and embarrassment. He could not wait for an opportunity to leave the party.

As soon as the first guests were getting their coats to leave Pawel did the same. He tried to be as inconspicuous as possible and merely nodded his goodbye to his host and hostess who, thankfully, were busy with other guests and did not notice him slip by. He made it to his car without being stopped by any one, but just as he was opening his door he heard his name called out. He tried to ignore the voice, pretending to not hear, and continued to get into his car.

“Pawel!” The voice called out again, it was his friend, Mr. Pouer. Pawel turned slowly and put a friendly smile upon his face. “Hi,” he said weakly.

“Not leaving without saying goodbye are ya?” His friend clasped his shoulder in that gregarious way of his and smiled broadly. “I just wanted to thank you for coming tonight. And I wanted to apologize for the awkwardness over the seating arrangements.” So it had been noticeable! Pawel groaned inwardly. He had been hoping that he was the only one who had been aware of his embarrassment. Now he knew that everyone realized what had happened.

Pawel looked up at his friend, who now seemed bigger than life. Why was he apologizing? This evening had been planned in his honor; it was his moment and Pawel had screwed it up for him, or at least made it more than a little unpleasant.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, it was my stupidity that brought me to sit there, I should have known better. I am the one who is sorry.”

His friend smiled and squeezed the shoulder he was still holding. His eyes softened and he said, “I know you want to make a good impression Pawel. And I know that you are a good teacher and sincerely want to help the kids you work with each day. I know you love God and only want to serve Him with the gifts He has given you. But, if I can be honest with you,” and here his eyes locked on Pawel’s, “I have also noticed that you want to be noticed for all of these things. You want to be recognized as good and sincere and gifted. You want others to see you, and approve of you, and applaud you.”

Pawel could not believe his ears. He felt his blood rush to his head and his temper flare. He pulled his shoulder away from the hand of the bigger than life man who stood before him and thought, “Who is he to judge me?”

But his friend continued to hold Pawel’s eyes with his own and Pawel could see that this man was not self righteous at all, but was merely a friend telling him a hard truth. And he was right; there was a part of him that craved attention and approval. There was a part of him that was proud, very proud. He did not know what to do. He had never been confronted with his own pride before and did not know how to fix it or escape from it.

His friend put his hand back on Pawel’s shoulder. “There is no shame in the truth Pawel, only from hiding from it. The truth is that you are filled with pride. The truth is that pride is hatred of God. A man cannot be proud and love God at the same time, for pride is only love of self. Man is truly blessed only when he humbles himself in his heart and seeks to love God and others more than himself. Your embarrassment comes from being seen as who you really are, not from the awkward mistake you made. Mistakes can be laughed away, but pride marks a man forever.”

“Then what do I do?”“Do what all men must do. Own up to your sin and ask forgiveness. Calling your sin your

own and giving it a name is the first step toward defeating it. Then stand back up like the good man you are and get back to work!” His friend smiled and looked back toward the house. He squeezed Pawel’s shoulder one last time and said, “I think there were some of those meatballs left, I’m gonna get me one more plate!” And with that he was gone and Pawel was left alone with his thoughts.

As he sat in his car before turning the key, he smiled to himself in the mirror and said, “You are a proud man, Pawel.” And he prayed to God for humility.

1 Peter 5:5-7You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

Mike Spencer/ April 2010