Love Marriage and Family Ties:Intergenerational Patterns

in Genograms

Presented by Rita DeMaria, Ph.D.

Council for Relationships

July 9, 2009

Smart Marriages Happy FamiliesOrlando, Florida

Love, Marriage and Family Ties

• All family members are connected

• How to identify needed personal and relationship changes

• Begin a process of discovery and growth

Love, Marriage and Family Ties

• Increase awareness of how relationship patterns are transmitted through time as family legacies

• Increase empathy for self and partner’s needs, issues, and vulnerabilities

• Depersonalize current relationship struggles, facilitate problem solving and resolution, and promote loving care

The Purpose of Marriage

• “To enrich and enliven the life of the other”

• “a crucible to transform the two”

• These require knowledge of self/other and capacity and willingness to be a loving partner committed to responding to unmet needs and cultivating growth and responsiveness

5 Types of Focused Genograms

• Connections and Cutoff• My Mother, My Father, Myself• Legacy of Love• His/Her Story• Traumas and Tragedies

Connections and Cutoffs

• Exploring patterns of closeness• Handling life challenges

through connection or disconnection

• Family secrets are often covered by disconnections and cut-offs

My Mother, My Father, Myself

• Exploring the importance of our Mothers and Fathers

• Relationships with the same sex parent

• Gender Roles: Husband, Father, Man; Wife, Mother, Woman

Legacies of Love

• Exploring patterns of love and marriage

• Time Lines are helpful

His/Her Story

• Exploring family legacies from the past

• Understanding our heritage• Historical events help you gain

awareness• Repetition of patterns across

generations

Traumas and Tragedies

• Exploring the impact of losses and challenges

• Big “T” traumas• Little “t” traumas

Workshop Format

• Introduction of the genogram construction

• Sample genogram

• Exercise for each genogram1. Genogram Format

2. Time Line

3. Reflection Questions

4. Action Plan

The Workshop Process

• The Focused Genogram• The Reflection• The Time Line• The Action Plan

My Mother My FatherMy Self

• Presentation• Exercise

•Love Marriage and Family Ties

• is available as a TOOB

• Thank you for your attendance• For more information contact Rita

DeMaria, Ph.D. www.marriagedoctor.com• marriagedoctor@aol.com

• 215-628-2450