Love in the

Age of

Facebook

By Eveline Todd

Photo by mkh marketing

Before Facebook and other social media,

dating meant asking for someone’s

phone number

and getting to

know each

other

in person

Photo by JD Hancock

Generally,

only close friends

and family

knew about a

couple’s

relationship

Photo by TheAlieness

Cutting off communication with an

ex-partner and his or her friends in real life

was enough to move on from an ended

relationship Photo by you are your atman

If the ended relationship was a marriage,

divorce lawyers often had to

do a large amount of sleuthing

and spying to uncover

evidence

of

misbehaviour

Photo by pasukaru76

However, now there is

Facebook.

Because Facebook has

reached the point of being

“pretty much real life,”

it has affected almost every stage of romantic relationships

Photo by Alessio85

Research has found that Facebook

can have both

positive

and

negative

effects

on

couples

Photo by Nanagyei

For example, exploring a potential

partner’s Facebook

profile can reveal

mutual likes and

interests, as well as

potential points of

disagreement,

and can help

remove

some

of the

uncertainty

in dating Photo by Red Flags

On the flip side, finding out everything about

a partner before actually getting to know them

In person takes away much of the intrigue and

mystery that contribute to the excitement of

a new relationship.

Photo by K. Sawyer Photography

Facebook offers

a new challenge: to become

or not to become Facebook Official Photo by sebastien.barre

Where once there was the exchange of

class rings, now there is the relationship

milestone of changing one’s

Facebook relationship

status

to

“in a relationship.” Photo by limetom

“Deciding to go FBO means laying your

emotional cards on the table, face up.”

– Tom Jacobs Photo by Ludie Cochrane

When both partners in a couple list themselves

as “in a relationship,” they are more likely

to still be together six months later, and may

experience greater relationship

intimacy

and

satisfaction

overall.

Photo by catlovers

However, Facebook can

also be detrimental

to relationships.

There is a great deal

of potentially

ambiguous information

available that can

lead to relationship

jealousy. Photo by Kikishua

The information available on

Facebook can also make breaking up

very difficult. Facebook makes monitoring an

ex-partner’s activities tempting

and easy, which research suggests

may slow emotional

recovery after a break up.

Photo by woodleywonderoworks

Even when one does not wish to

track their ex, it can be hard

to escape information about

them on social media.

“People have so

many online strings

that bind them that

cutting one does not

sever the relationship.

There are always more.”

– Liz Perle

Photo by mikemol

As well as affecting the

emotional side of a

breakup, Facebook

and other social

media may affect

the legal side

as well.

Photo by steakpinball

A survey released by the American Academy of

Matrimonial Lawyers in 2010 showed 81% of its

1,600 members has used

something from social

media to support a

divorce case in the

past five years.

Photo by nikc.org

“Facebook has become an open book of

people’s lives …

…..you can’t get better evidence than what

comes from their own mouths or their own

computers.” – Linda Lea M. Viken

Photo by Andalib

Viken’s comment on Facebook becoming an

open book of people’s lives rings true –

real life dating, relationships, and breakups

are initiated through, maintained via,

and affected by Facebook and other social media.

Photo by Reeding Lessons

It remains to be seen whether Facebook’s impact

on relationships will increase or decrease in the

future. Whatever the future link between Facebook

use and relationships, Allison McCann has

some words of advice:

“Don’t treat it any

differently than you

do dating

OUT THERE.

Be normal, be cool,

be nice.” Photo by Neal

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