Jessie 9P

Epilogue

The man with fair hair elbowed a path through the hectic crowds as he began to wend his way towards the platform. Around him, the smothering warmth from the horde of people threatened to suffocate. Clenching his suitcase in one hand, he quickened his pace in an attempt to escape the overwhelming hubbub of civilization- the thought of a mass of minds discerning in synchrony the rules of society unsettled him. Somewhere, a train declared its arrival with a shrilling, piercing cry; and this cry was echoed by another.

“Daddy!” it said, “wait a minute!”

Ralph’s head whipped around abruptly. Inside him, a dull glimpse of familiarity throbbed painfully, threatening to explode.

“Wait a minute,” the voice said, “I got caught up.”

A little brown-haired girl burst out of the frenzy and made a beeline towards him, her hands outstretched. Her blue cotton dress and woolen overcoat did well to complement her pale but pristine complexion.

“I could hardly move with all the people around.”

He hastily picked her up and awkwardly hustled his way onwards. In the air, a hazy blanket of steam from the train engines lingered. The little girl, eager to continue, asked keenly, “When will Mummy be coming?”

She was answered with a brisk, forced silence. Satisfied, she laid her head on his steady shoulder and fell asleep.

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Jessie 9P

Amidst the flurry of people, he glimpsed a shock of red hair.

Nothing was out of the unusual, but for some unspecified reason, the supercilious manner in which the particular shade of red marched through the crowd made him freeze in his tracks.

Ralph furrowed his brows. A momentary image flittered across the fringe of his mind. It was so familiar, and yet, he couldn’t put his finger on it. As he approached the figure, a hairline crack formed among the brittle, crudely constructed wall of rationality, order, and the responsibility that came with adulthood. The blood-red waters of chaos lapped against it, and trickled out of the fissure- staining the perfect uniformity.

The being slowly turned around. Back stared two steely light blue eyes, widened with recognition that contorted into repressed anger. A face: crumpled, freckled, and bluntly ugly.

Ralph gasped.

The dam exploded. The force of two decades of tormenting confusion, blind hatred, and the searing void of agonizing loss washed over his composure. His jaw tensed- the only detectable sign of his mental breakdown.

He spat the revolting name out with distaste,

“Jack Merridew.”

“Hullo, Ralph.” Jack replied with facetious delight, “Fancy meeting you.”

He glanced warily at the sleeping child, “I see you’ve got yourself a family.”

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Jessie 9P

Ralph was silenced with emotion. Here, in the heart of civilization, was the filthy…thing that had caused him years of pain and regret. He closed his eyes and steadied himself.

“Jack-”

He fingered his wristwatch.

“-we need to talk. About Piggy. About Simon. About the island…”

A curtain fell and obscured him from his next words. It was difficult to try and bring forth the memories that he had strained so hard and so often to thrust back into inexistence.

If only Piggy were here.

Ralph’s reminiscences were interrupted by a light yawn by his ear. He turned his head and found himself looking into his daughter’s bleary eyes. Gently humming, he rocked back and forth, cradling her until she fell back asleep.

Jack eyed this exchange with fascination and a twinge of envy- although he did not know why. Since the island, his life had been fairly uneventful. His father had been killed ‘fighting for the country’, and his mother had been submerged in deep grief.

Jack blinked.

He had gone to university, and had graduated successfully with a degree in history and politics. The busy lifestyle he led had left no room for a companion, someone to share his life with. Seeing Ralph with a child –something he wanted but could never have– slashed open the savage scars, reminding him of his hopeless existence.

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Jessie 9P

“Look, Ralph,” he began his disingenuous apology, “Piggy and Simon, they had it coming…”

He had stepped into the wrong territory.

Ralph’s face vanished under an uncontrollable mask of raging fury. Jack’s terrible, terrible sophistry appalled him.

Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood! Do him in!

“You killed them,” lashed Ralph, “You and your bloody hunters: Roger, Maurice, Bill...all of them!”

“Ralph-”

Jack had triggered an avalanche; there was no going back now.

“You stole Piggy’s glasses. He couldn’t even see! Besides, we would’ve given you fire if you had asked for it! Always trying to rouse up trouble, you were. You didn’t think! A shelter and a fire and rescue- those were what we needed! Set up a fort? Hunt a pig? Kill the beast? Bah! It was all fun and games to you, wasn’t it, Jack Merridew?”

With a deep breath, Jack hissed urgently, “Ralph.”

Ralph stopped, feeling the prickly gazes of passersby on his back. Warily, he craned his neck around. A dozen curious eyes furtively evaded his glare and melded into the crowd. Ralph, finally self-aware, shut his eyes tightly and clenched his fists as the wave of realization withdrew, leaving pure mortification at his own rash behavior. He took a quick glance at his daughter and sighed with relief as he saw that she was still asleep.

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Jessie 9P

Jack gesticulated with exasperation, trying again, “Ralph, you have to understand…”

This time, there was something new in his tone of voice; something Ralph had never thought of hearing from him.

Hurt.

Jack continued, unhindered by the lack of reply, “I was young. We all were. Over the following years after we left the island; I spent every waking hour submerged in the paranoia that is the consequence of a tarnished conscience. I had nightmares. Piggy, Simon, that littlun boy with the birthmark, they were all there. So were you, Roger, Samneric. I would wake up sweating and screaming bloody murder. My own mother sent me to an asylum - and there I realized that it was nothing but pride -and the fear of losing my place as chief- that did me in. I don’t know why, Ralph, I knew that I was in a different place, yet I felt as if I was still on the island- except this time, I wasn’t Chief anymore. Everything was restricted with rules. I couldn’t be free. After I was released, I busied myself with studying, went through school, university, college and all that jazz. I grew up, Ralph. Honest. I let everything go; the past is the past. I changed. You should, too.”

Ralph observed Jack speculatively. The years had, indeed, aged him. The short tempered, power-hungry, painted savage boy had gone, and in his place stood a sensible man in a well-worn plain suit, looking tired.

Every trace of anger and scorn and hatred drained out of Ralph; the fire

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Jessie 9P

smothered to nothing. In its absence echoed the light, luminescent feeling of a gentle breeze at night- hushed waves lapping against the sand and healing away the lingering scar that was created so long ago.

Ralph mumbled something unintelligible.

“Pardon?” asked Jack.

“I…” he replied timidly, for this sensation was new to him.

“I forgive you.”

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Jessie 9P

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