THIS

MAGAZINE IS CHEAPER THAN EVEN 0.1% OF RYAN MILLER’S CONTRACT

DESIGNED AND WRITTEN BYMATTHEW HENDERSON

$14.20IN MONTRÉALIN CANADA AND THE USA

$6.50

THE INAUGURAL ISSUE

WHAT’S IN STORE?- THE GM ROUNDTABLE- LOBEKLUND GIVES US THE RUNDOWN IN “THE RUMOUR MILL”- PIERRE LOBRUN BRINGS US “HELMETS UP, HELMETS DOWN.”- CLARKEY GIVES US HIS INSIGHT FROM THE OUTSIDEIN “CLARKE’S CORNER”- A BIG TRADE IS ANNOUNCED.- COMMISSIONER BARY GETTMAN GIVES US HIS STATEOF THE UNION SPEECH.

WHAT’S IN STORE?- THE GM ROUNDTABLE- LOBEKLUND GIVES US THE RUNDOWN IN “THE RUMOUR MILL”- PIERRE LOBRUN BRINGS US “HELMETS UP, HELMETS DOWN.”- CLARKEY GIVES US HIS INSIGHT FROM THE OUTSIDEIN “CLARKE’S CORNER”- A BIG TRADE IS ANNOUNCED.- COMMISSIONER BARY GETTMAN GIVES US HIS STATEOF THE UNION SPEECH.

C O A S T T O C O A S TA ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION FEATURING

FOUR LOBNHL GENERAL MANAGERS.

C O A S T T O C O A S TA ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSION FEATURING

FOUR LOBNHL GENERAL MANAGERS.

M E E T T H E P A N E L

Best known for his 1969 Canadian Junior Golf Championship title, Dale Tallon also went on

to play a couple games in the National Hockey League, most notably as a member

of the Pittsburgh Penguins. He is now a “General Manager” for the Florida Panthersand enjoys spending lots of time with hisyoung team.. er... formerly young team...

D A L E T A L L O N[ @ J U S T E N 8 ]

M E E T T H E P A N E L

Best known for his 1969 Canadian Junior Golf Championship title, Dale Tallon also went on

to play a couple games in the National Hockey League, most notably as a member

of the Pittsburgh Penguins. He is now a “General Manager” for the Florida Panthersand enjoys spending lots of time with hisyoung team.. er... formerly young team...

D A L E T A L L O N[ @ J U S T E N 8 ]

M E E T T H E P A N E L

Seriously man leave San Jose the dream is over.. oh... this thing’s on? Doug Wilson is a former NHL star, who played in eight all-star games

SERIOUSLY LOOK IT UP HE DID. He won a NorrisTrophy and is fifth all-time in games played

for the Chicago Blackhawks. He has been theGM of the Sharks since 2003 and he hasn’t done

much. Nice tan, though.

D O U G W I L S O N[ @ B R O W S E B E A N ]

M E E T T H E P A N E L

Seriously man leave San Jose the dream is over.. oh... this thing’s on? Doug Wilson is a former NHL star, who played in eight all-star games

SERIOUSLY LOOK IT UP HE DID. He won a NorrisTrophy and is fifth all-time in games played

for the Chicago Blackhawks. He has been theGM of the Sharks since 2003 and he hasn’t done

much. Nice tan, though.

D O U G W I L S O N[ @ B R O W S E B E A N ]

M E E T T H E P A N E L

Steve Yzerman is the loyal man who went fromDetroit Red Wings hero and captain to eventually

become their General Mana- wait, what do youmean he’s actually the Tampa Bay Lightning GM are

you kidding? Who knew? Oh, everyone did?He tries to trade with EVERYONE in LOB

though. As you’ll see he’s a man of few words.

S T E V E Y Z E R M A N[ @ H A R R Y 1 6 1 9 ]

Steve Yzerman is the loyal man who went fromDetroit Red Wings hero and captain to eventually

become their General Mana- wait, what do youmean he’s actually the Tampa Bay Lightning GM are

you kidding? Who knew? Oh, everyone did?He tries to trade with EVERYONE in LOB

though. As you’ll see he’s a man of few words.

S T E V E Y Z E R M A N[ @ H A R R Y 1 6 1 9 ]

M E E T T H E P A N E L

Send him a message right now and he’sprobably hammered. Send him a message

tomorrow and he’s probably going to behammered. THE MAN HAS BEEN THERE SINCE

1997 AND HE HAS DONE NOTHINGSINCE THAT SEASON. He also punched the

Blackhawks coach in the head in 1999.Seriously.

G E O R G E M C P H E E[ @ C R A P I T A L S L O B ]

Send him a message right now and he’sprobably hammered. Send him a message

tomorrow and he’s probably going to behammered. THE MAN HAS BEEN THERE SINCE

1997 AND HE HAS DONE NOTHINGSINCE THAT SEASON. He also punched the

Blackhawks coach in the head in 1999.Seriously.

G E O R G E M C P H E E[ @ C R A P I T A L S L O B ]

L E T ’ S G E T S T A R T E D1. How do you feel about your team starting the season?DT: To be honest...I just don’t know. I pulled off a miracle putting together the team i have now. I learned all last season how to score with guys who are 65-75 ovr and started winning alot by the end of the season. Naturally after loading up I figured I may be able to pull 3.50 GPG. I pride myself on snipers and fast D. Doesn’t have to be Elite on D..just fast as i run a 1-3-1. Hoping Bryzgalov goes ham this year before he disappears and winds up on Maury in real life. I feel 8th-10th place if I can play ok. If i catch fire maybe 6th-8th. Too many good players in this league to think otherwise. Plus that dickhead Clarkey cursed me by picking me to win it all....ass.

DW: Pretty good, wasn’t able to pick up the 1LW I needed in free agency but I made some depth trades and got some decent jumps. Got good depth all around and Price in net. I think I can make playoffs this year, goal is 7th place (10th last year).

SY: My team is strong to start the year, three very good lines, a solid defence, and a great goalie. If anything I’ll look to add another defenceman for my top 4.

GM: Terrible. Straight up. My first line right winger is actually my best defenceman, “The Nuge” is one of my most durable forwards, and my coach is an Italian-American ex-goalie who until recently made his living running Wendy’s franchises. What could possibly go wrong. What a shit show.

Oh well, as long as Montreal’s in the league I’m not finishing last. No wonder Marc’s so good at golf.

1. How do you feel about your team starting the season?

2. Who do you see being the surprise team this year?DT: If he actually plays his games, I say Boston (@Choderama). Cody is actually quite good at the game but has finished 10-11th in the past because everyone plays his CPU. If he plays he will finish 5th or better this season. IF NOT, then my other pick is the Islanders (@RyanBiech). The man can score goals...loads of ‘em. If he shuts it down on D he makes the playoffs.

DW: Good surprise - Hopefully me. I don’t see many teams going way up in the rankings from last year’s finish other than Chicago (@JacobTheDerp), and he’s not a surprise after going to the WCF.

Bad surprise - Detroit (@DigitalGopher). He killed his team in preseason deals getting actual Red Wings and is gonna have a bad time this year.

SY: Dallas will do very well I think.

GM: The East is crazy tough but I could see Boston (@choderama) doing some damage if he gets a little more active with his roster and playing his games. Also, I like Chicago (@JacobTheDerp). And of course I’m going to be full ofsurprises in Washington too. First one: ABC Night next Saturday. Alphagetti Bikini Combat, best intermission entertainment in the league.

3. Who wins the cup and why?DT: Carolina (@Burrdon) I’ve played the guy and he is just down right frustrating to play against. Totally clean player but damn is he good. He’s got the very solid enigma Craig Anderson and now has GETZLAF CROSBY AND NASH! Not to mention his sick defence. I say he finishes what he couldn’t the last 2 seasons. The guy is a pure beauty. If he runs into issues then my Brusef, “Winterpeg” (@ColeyHype) will crush skulls and break wieners on his way to winning “Lord Wyatt’s cup.”

DW: Someone from the Southeast, probably Carolina (@burrdon) now that he’s got Crosby. All the teams in that division are going to be incredibly battle-hard-ened come playoff time.

SY: Carolina (@burrdon), he added Crosby and he has lost twice in a row. He’s too good to lose again.

GM: Calgary (@BrowntoBure) or Colorado (@ThePhilosopher). Think one of them faces Winnipeg in the final and Clarkey plays and loses 4 straight while Cole’s out on a date.

3. Who wins the cup and why? 4. Hardest GM to deal with?DT: On the ice, Buffalo (@BaryGettmanLOB) or Philadelphia (@VancityJC). You either aren’t getting past the red line against Wyatt or your goalie gets a sunburn on the back of his neck while playing against JC. You either bring it against these 2 beasts or you might as well just turn your CPU on and go to Red Lobster and cry to yourself over some seafood....dammit now i want seafood! GAH!!! Off the Ice i.e. trade talks I would have to say....no answer. Not hear to make enemies. I will say the OLD gm for Minnesota was infuriating. Would get intense into trade talks then just vanish for weeks..also if he had offered Brandon Yip one more time, I would have flown to Ontario and throat punched him.

DW: Tampa Bay (@harry1619). You don’t build that team without being a persistent bastard to negotiate with.

SY: Columbus (@Colenuck), he always thinks he’s getting ripped off, Philadelphia (@VancityJC) offers the same players in every deal. So those two.

GM: Trade wise? Tampa Bay (@harry1619). He comes into every negotiation knowing exactly a) what he wants, b) what you want, and c) what he’s willingto give you. Generally those are a) Shattenkirk, b) something you don’t actually want, and c) a giant contract to eat. Also he tends to be flabbergasted if you don’t agree with his analysis. But at least he’s straight up in negotiations. Plus he didn’t pull an upper-decker at the post-draft party like someone I know.

5. Do you see any major deals going down closer towards the deadline due to carryover?

DT: Possibly some wacky deals but nothing major. Guys making a run will be looking to load up but GMs out of it will want to hold on to players for NHL 14. An interesting twist would be if NHL 14 came out before trade deadline, exposing stats of guys and creating “all in now” mentality even further. Still waiting for Buffalo (@BaryGettmanLOB) to trade me Yakupov but he says he prefers to hold on to 3.5 million dollar 65 OVR players ;-)

DW: Absolutely, I’d almost guarantee it. The guys who are clearly not playoff bound will firesale ALL their depth guys for prospects or a carryover upgrade (if they’re short on good carryovers and have a lower threshold for who’s worth taking) at ridiculously cheap prices.

SY: I fully expect once NHL 14 ratings come out that teams with less carryover will push hard to land NHL 14 guys. It’s the only thing that makes sense. You may overpay but to get a NHL 14 carryover is huge.

GM: I think major deals will go down, but mostly because we’re a bunch of freaks and we can’t help ourselves. We’re like Wilson at his daughter’s sweet 16. The fact that I am one of the less active GM’s when it comes to trades should tell you all you need to know.That being said I think you will see a small group of say 6 maybe 8 teams who think they have a legitimate shot offload some solid young prospects for big ticket names and some of us bottom feeders will benefit from it. Wait, did I say us?

5. Do you see any major deals going down closer towards the deadline due to carryover? 6. You would have paid Ryan Miller 10 million too… right?DT: Yes i would have. I firmly believe elite goalies are the most important facet to a team. Some of the best scoring GMs got eliminated quickly due to bad goaltending. I hate playing against goalie studded Montréal (@lobnhlhabs), Philadelphia (@VancityJC), San Jose (@BrowseBean), Ottawa (@InderN), and Calgary (@BrowntoBure) for this reason sometimes.

DW: It’s not like Marc had any option. If Miller went to FA his season and team are completely done. Florida (@Justen8) gave Malkin 11.7 so that wasn’t even the biggest deal of the offseason.

SY: Hahahahahahahahahahhaha.

GM: I paid him close to that. Not to play goal though. You should probably check those new pads he had imported.

7. If you could play any team in a 7 game series, who would you pick and why?

SY: Hahahahahahahahahahhaha.

DT: Calgary (@BrowntoBure). The man plays the game fair and he’s a beast too. Our games, although only three, have all been one goal games and ended in exciting fashion. I feel every game I’ve had against him that I’ve learned something new. That and also if I’m playing Dave in a best of 7 I’M IN THE SCF BABY! Picking an east guy...I say the New York Rangers (@LOBNYR). I just wanna take the 4 games out of 7 to explain to him through the art of decimation, how bad losing by F%*#ing ROW really felt! :-)

DW: Dallas - we’re pretty close team and skill wise and our games are always a battle. He’s fun to play too, no bullshit from him. Alternatively Montréal (@lobnhlhabs) if I just felt like winning 4 straight (jk love you Marc).

SY: Winnipeg (@coleyhype) again, that was an extremely fun series why not do it again. Other than that Philadelphia (@VancityJC), he plays so wide open it’s always fun.

GM: Buffalo. Every time I play Buffalo (@BaryGettmanLOB) that freak Myers gets a pass in the slot in the last minute from Gaborik or Yakupov or Hodgson or Rusty or Jerome or Little Sprout or Billy Crystal and breaks my already fragile heart. If not Buffalo, just anyone but Florida (@Justen8). If Dale and I ever spend 2 full weeks in the same cities someone’s ending up dead. And it wouldn’t be me or Tallon.

Are we done? Where’s that drink you promised?

A LETTER TO NAZEM KADRIFROM THE DESK OF MARC BERGEVIN

Hello worldHope you’re listeningForgive me if I’m youngFor speaking out of turnThere’s someone I’ve been missing, I think that they couldbe the better half of meThey’re in the wrong place trying to make it rightBut I’m tired of justifyingSo I say to you..Come homeCome homeCause I’ve been waiting for youFor so longFor so longRight now there’s a war between the vanitiesBut all I see is you and meThe fight for you is all I’ve ever knownSo come home

Sincerely, Marc Bergevin General Manager of theMontreal Canadiens

PS: COME HOME LIKEI’M NOT EVEN KIDDING

I would like to thank Master Tallon forgiving me humongous opportunityto play goalie for Tampa Bay Pantherhockey team. Best fans in this partof the universe I am glad to be leaving though, Florida has no parks.

Sincerely - Ilya Bryzgalov ))))

SY: Winnipeg (@coleyhype) again, that was an extremely fun series why not do it again. Other than that Philadelphia (@VancityJC), he plays so wide open it’s always fun.

GM: Buffalo. Every time I play Buffalo (@BaryGettmanLOB) that freak Myers gets a pass in the slot in the last minute from Gaborik or Yakupov or Hodgson or Rusty or Jerome or Little Sprout or Billy Crystal and breaks my already fragile heart. If not Buffalo, just anyone but Florida (@Justen8). If Dale and I ever spend 2 full weeks in the same cities someone’s ending up dead. And it wouldn’t be me or Tallon.

Are we done? Where’s that drink you promised?

Kesler. The Fragrance.

IN THE RUMOUR MILL- Buffalo is looking to move Erik Cole and Mason Raymond for a better carryover player in NHL 14. (e4) - San Jose is looking to move Martin Erat or TJ Galiardi along with a depth winger for a better carryover. (e3)- Tampa Bay looking to offer you a random prospectfor your top 6 winger. (e1)- Montréal has Sean Bergenheim and Ryan Maloneon the block, looking to deal one with a depth defenceman for an upgrade on defence. (e4)- Source tells me that David Booth is very unhappyin Winnipeg (who wouldn’t be) and is looking to moveout of there as soon as possible (e2)- Columbus is looking for a centreman and is willing todeal Nick Leddy or Tom Gilbert to get one. (e5) - Columbus is also looking to deal Ondrej Pavelec for theright price. (e3)- Anze Kopitar is being scouted for “LOBNHL Magazine: The Body issue” (e2)- Los Angeles has Malcolm Subban, Sergei Kostitsyn and Alex Petrovic on the block. (e5)- New Jersey has Roy, Wheeler, Kulemin, Gillies and Hamonicon the block! (e3)- Colorado has Goligoski and Enstrom on the block (e2)

HEL

MET

SH

ELMETS

W I T H P I E R R E LO B R U N O F LO B S N

W e l c o m e t o t h e i n a u g u r a l e d i t i o n o f LO B N H L M a g a z i n e

a n d o f t h e H e l m e t s U p /H e l m e t s D o w n a r t i c l e . I n t h i s

a r t i c l e I LO B s h a p a b o u t t h e b i g t r a d e s , m o v e s , a n d s t o r i e s

a r o u n d # LO B N H L , g i v i n g t h e m H e l m e t s U p o r

H e l m e t s D o w n .

@ P I E R R E LO B R U N

HELMETS UP TO:- First one obviously belongs to our beloved commissioner Wyatt (@BaryGettmanLOB) and all the work he has put into making this league awesome. - To Florida (@Justen8) for working the phones hard andcreating an amazing team from a pile of plugs and prospects.

- To Anaheim (@DarrylDavies) and Chicago (@JacobTheDerp) for getting good value for their superstar trades.

- To Detroit (@DigitalGopher) for the LOB roster site. Amazing stuff.

- To Montréal (@lobnhlhabs) for putting this magazine together.

- To the entire Southeast Division. Ridiculous trades and skills going on there. - To Clarkey for always bringing the LOBshap.

HELMETS DOWN TO:- To EA for giving Connected so few management optionsand making his life harder. - To the West teams who let themselves get fleeced by Florida (@Justen8) for their superstars.

- Special Helmets Down to Detroit (@DigitalGopher) for letting Florida (@Justen8) take his only goalie then trying to sign Vokoun (heh).

- To @KyleClarke_014 for the 5000 RTs clogging my timeline on Friday.

- To San Jose (@BrowseBean) for never shutting up about Nathan Gerbe, he’s 85OV at 5’5, not Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

- To any team who continues to not vary high-percentage shots after Wyatt’s announcement. - To Clarkey for picking on certain teams with unnecessary LOBshap.

HEL

MET

SH

ELMETS

W I T H T H E O U T S P O K E N K Y L E C L A R K E

CLARKEY’S CORNERWell, well, well. To say I’ve been waiting a long time for this would be an understatement. Finally a forum to express my many opinions on this league! I’d like to thank the visionary and founder of #LOBNHL The Magazine, the venerable Marc Bergevin, or as normal people call him Matt Henderson for this opportunity. I will not let you down friend.Now that all of that BS is done, lets talk some #LOBNHL!

CLARKEY’S CORNER

@ K Y L E C L A R K E _ 0 1 4

Well, well, well. To say I’ve been waiting a long time for this would be an understatement. Finally a forum to express my many opinions on this league! I’d like to thank the visionary and founder of #LOBNHL The Magazine, the venerable Marc Bergevin, or as normal people call him Matt Henderson for this opportunity. I will not let you down friend.Now that all of that BS is done, lets talk some #LOBNHL!

HEL

MET

SH

ELMETS

The Carolina Hurricanes and Anaheim Ducks hooked up for a blockbuster this week that triggered minor seismic activity around the league. Sidney Crosby the best player in the game according to many, along with Victor Fasth was dealt to Carolina in return for John Tavares, Milan Michalek, Dougie Hamilton, Steve Ott, and Matt Cooke. There was quite a few GM’s around the league that liked this deal for Anaheim, and to be honest, I have to disagree with them. Essentially Carolina gave up a slow, but skilled 86 OVR C in Tavares who should have a carry over OVR of 88-89 in 14 but IMO will still have 84 SPD making him play like an 85-86 OVR + Milan Michalek: a speedy but soft sniper with low durability who seems to always be injured, and will likely have a decreased carry over OVR of 82-83 in 14 + Dougie Hamilton: a 73 OVR prospect project D who should get a bit of a boost in 14 likely 77-78 OVR with decent potential. I’m not even going to include Ott + Cooke in this discussion as they are above average 3rd + 4th liners respectively, and I don’t believe either of them will be carry over players for Anaheim. Is this what the premier player in the game is worth these days?

#1 - THE CROSBY TRADE

The Carolina Hurricanes and Anaheim Ducks hooked up for a blockbuster this week that triggered minor seismic activity around the league. Sidney Crosby the best player in the game according to many, along with Victor Fasth was dealt to Carolina in return for John Tavares, Milan Michalek, Dougie Hamilton, Steve Ott, and Matt Cooke. There was quite a few GM’s around the league that liked this deal for Anaheim, and to be honest, I have to disagree with them. Essentially Carolina gave up a slow, but skilled 86 OVR C in Tavares who should have a carry over OVR of 88-89 in 14 but IMO will still have 84 SPD making him play like an 85-86 OVR + Milan Michalek: a speedy but soft sniper with low durability who seems to always be injured, and will likely have a decreased carry over OVR of 82-83 in 14 + Dougie Hamilton: a 73 OVR prospect project D who should get a bit of a boost in 14 likely 77-78 OVR with decent potential. I’m not even going to include Ott + Cooke in this discussion as they are above average 3rd + 4th liners respectively, and I don’t believe either of them will be carry over players for Anaheim. Is this what the premier player in the game is worth these days?

#1 - THE CROSBY TRADE

HEL

MET

SH

ELMETS

Can we talk about what is happening down in Florida for a second? I’ve said it before, but I re-ally think old man Tallon has officially lost his mind. Could it be the heat? The realization that his team has the worst fan attendance average in a market that includes a baseball franchise formerly known as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays? Him struggling to adjust to using his iPhone in-stead of telegraph/fax machine to communicate with other GM’s? All definite possibilities, but personally, I think it’s because he’s old. He just can’t seem to stick with a roster for more than one game. Whether it’s trading Zach Parise after one game because “I like Gagne more” or mak-ing his new starter Ilya Bryzgalov available after one albeit rough game proclaiming his acquisi-tion “The worst trade I’ve ever made” it’s clear to me Dale has officially become senile. Figure it out Tallon!

#2 - TALLON GONE WILD?

Can we talk about what is happening down in Florida for a second? I’ve said it before, but I re-ally think old man Tallon has officially lost his mind. Could it be the heat? The realization that his team has the worst fan attendance average in a market that includes a baseball franchise formerly known as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays? Him struggling to adjust to using his iPhone in-stead of telegraph/fax machine to communicate with other GM’s? All definite possibilities, but personally, I think it’s because he’s old. He just can’t seem to stick with a roster for more than one game. Whether it’s trading Zach Parise after one game because “I like Gagne more” or mak-ing his new starter Ilya Bryzgalov available after one albeit rough game proclaiming his acquisi-tion “The worst trade I’ve ever made” it’s clear to me Dale has officially become senile. Figure it out Tallon!

#2 - TALLON GONE WILD?

HEL

MET

SH

ELMETS

I received a fair bit of criticism for my preseason playoff picks and team standings projections. I’d like to take this opportunity to defend them a bit. Many of you disagreed with my cup pick: Florida Panthers saying that, I was crazy to pick a team to win the cup that didn’t even make the playoffs last year. Well I think they are a legitimate threat and here is why: Despite his questionable decision making(as outlined above) for me, Florida is the best player in the league. He consistently gets 35-40 shots on net, plays out-standing defence, and he just missed a playoff spot by ROW last year in the ultra competitive Eastern Conference playing with what was essentially a CHL/AHL all star team. Now that he has a good team with multiple superstars, he should be a force to be reckoned with this season. On the complete other end of the spectrum, I picked CBJ to come last in the Western Conference, which some people took issue with. I will pull no punches on this one. CBJ is one of the worst NHL 13 players I have ever seen, and he has made bad trade after bad trade since the start of #LOBNHL. There is no doubt in my mind he’ll find a way to somehow make his team worse, and that’s why I picked him to come in last in the Western Conference.

#3 - STANDING MY GROUND

I received a fair bit of criticism for my preseason playoff picks and team standings projections. I’d like to take this opportunity to defend them a bit. Many of you disagreed with my cup pick: Florida Panthers saying that, I was crazy to pick a team to win the cup that didn’t even make the playoffs last year. Well I think they are a legitimate threat and here is why: Despite his questionable decision making(as outlined above) for me, Florida is the best player in the league. He consistently gets 35-40 shots on net, plays out-standing defence, and he just missed a playoff spot by ROW last year in the ultra competitive Eastern Conference playing with what was essentially a CHL/AHL all star team. Now that he has a good team with multiple superstars, he should be a force to be reckoned with this season. On the complete other end of the spectrum, I picked CBJ to come last in the Western Conference, which some people took issue with. I will pull no punches on this one. CBJ is one of the worst NHL 13 players I have ever seen, and he has made bad trade after bad trade since the start of #LOBNHL. There is no doubt in my mind he’ll find a way to somehow make his team worse, and that’s why I picked him to come in last in the Western Conference.

#3 - STANDING MY GROUND

Thanks everyone for reading! This was fun to write, hopefully it was bearable to read. Lets do this again sometime!

THERE IS A TRADE TO ANNOUNCE....FROM THE #LOBNHL NEWS HEADQUARTERS

The Montréal Canadiens and San Jose Sharkshave come to an agreement on a deal thatwill send shockwaves through the LOBNHL.Montréal has traded Danny Damaio, Samu Virkkunen, and a 2020 6th round pick to San Jose for Ulf Berglund, Marku Lattikainen, and Michael Repik. This trade improves both sidesgreatly, as they both receive future draft picks.

Montreal lands thebiggest fish in thedeal by acquiringstar forwardMichael Repik.

THERE IS A TRADE TO ANNOUNCE....FROM THE #LOBNHL NEWS HEADQUARTERS

Montreal lands thebiggest fish in thedeal by acquiringstar forwardMichael Repik.

Doug Wilson released a statement after the deal was announced, saying “this trade measurably improves our future, Damaio has a higher ceiling and judging from the quality of the Timbits games at HP Pavilion lately 2020 will be a deep draft and we’re happy we could move up in it.”Marc Bergevin declined comment, as he’s probably too busy getting absolutely hammeredon St. Catherine’s Street as we speak.The press release also states that the deal includes a swapping of two AHL goaltenders,Carey Price from San Jose and Ryan Miller fromMontréal.

Fellow LOBNHL’rs

It has been two seasons that LOB has run under my esteemed excellence, and during that time, we have seen many an exciting event.We saw the firing of two GM’s. One for toe dragging and the other for talking about toe dragging. One was a laid back dude who enjoyed high school girls. One was an angry guy who probably tied up high school girls in his basement. One would often end conversations with “lol” and one who would end conversations with “Wyatt will be notified.” One who would often take forever to respond to trades. One who would send you 89 DM’s, then e-mail you, then phone your last known residence, just to ensure a deal went down as planned.

Regardless, both are gone (one more than the other), and we all fondly (one more than the other) remember their time with us.We also saw another GM get fired because he was simply too good. A day didn’t go by where I didn’t have an e-mail or DM about how much they hated playing the original Phoenix GM. Eventually he was forced into early retirement, but as with the other GM’s, we wish him well. Montreal still talks fondly of the day the Phoenix GM told him to “bite the curb” and stomped him to a 14-2 loss….

Then we’ve had the ups and downs of EA injuries. EA’s inability to tell you about your cap space. EA’s ability to do roster moves without you knowing. EA’s ability to make love to you without any lube. EA has been our best friend, our lover, our nemesis, our arch villain. Fun fact, in the 30 seconds it took you to read that sentence, Dave lost 4 guys to injuries.

We’ve also seen the Flyers triumphant win in season 2, despite the presence of Fatigue Gate 2013 and Colorado GM is a Douche 2013 scandals. Though they rocked LOB to it’s very core, we survived, nay, we persevered, and came out the better for it.What does season 3 hold for us? I truly don’t know. I can only hope it will have more fights. More anger. And more hash tags being created. If season 3 ends without a new #DERPED occurring, then we have truly failed as a league.

All I do know is, STOP FUCKING ASKING ME ABOUT THE BUTTON PUSH.

Yours truly,

Bary Gettman

Bary Gettman

Fellow LOBNHL’rs

It has been two seasons that LOB has run under my esteemed excellence, and during that time, we have seen many an exciting event.We saw the firing of two GM’s. One for toe dragging and the other for talking about toe dragging. One was a laid back dude who enjoyed high school girls. One was an angry guy who probably tied up high school girls in his basement. One would often end conversations with “lol” and one who would end conversations with “Wyatt will be notified.” One who would often take forever to respond to trades. One who would send you 89 DM’s, then e-mail you, then phone your last known residence, just to ensure a deal went down as planned.

Regardless, both are gone (one more than the other), and we all fondly (one more than the other) remember their time with us.We also saw another GM get fired because he was simply too good. A day didn’t go by where I didn’t have an e-mail or DM about how much they hated playing the original Phoenix GM. Eventually he was forced into early retirement, but as with the other GM’s, we wish him well. Montreal still talks fondly of the day the Phoenix GM told him to “bite the curb” and stomped him to a 14-2 loss….

Then we’ve had the ups and downs of EA injuries. EA’s inability to tell you about your cap space. EA’s ability to do roster moves without you knowing. EA’s ability to make love to you without any lube. EA has been our best friend, our lover, our nemesis, our arch villain. Fun fact, in the 30 seconds it took you to read that sentence, Dave lost 4 guys to injuries.

We’ve also seen the Flyers triumphant win in season 2, despite the presence of Fatigue Gate 2013 and Colorado GM is a Douche 2013 scandals. Though they rocked LOB to it’s very core, we survived, nay, we persevered, and came out the better for it.What does season 3 hold for us? I truly don’t know. I can only hope it will have more fights. More anger. And more hash tags being created. If season 3 ends without a new #DERPED occurring, then we have truly failed as a league.

All I do know is, STOP FUCKING ASKING ME ABOUT THE BUTTON PUSH.

Yours truly,

Bary Gettman