Living the Dream-Pilot

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    LIVING THE DREAM

    BY

    CHRISTOPHER ROMAN

    "Pilot"

    Christopher [email protected] March 18,2013

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    COLD OPEN1 1

    INT. PRODUCERS OFFICE - DAY2 2

    We open on a pen tapping slowly on a desk, ticking with the

    second hand of the clock on the wall. The focus shifts, andwe see Joe (Mid 20s) who sits nervously across from anexecutive (Middle Aged). Joe is dressed in a simple, blacksuit, that seems just a little bit too big for him.

    The executive sits, reading a large script, the front readingThe Reflective by Joseph Bidello. Finally he puts it down.They sit in silence for a beat. Joe reaches to take hisscript back, but accidentally knocks over the executivescoffee, spilling all over his script.

    JOEOh god, I'm so sorry!

    He goes to dab it off.

    EXECUTIVELeave it. I think it might be animprovement.

    JOEUh...

    EXECUTIVEMr. Bidello, did you really expectanything to come from this meeting?

    JOEExcuse me?

    EXECUTIVEDid you expect me to read this bitof scribble you call a film andjust hand you a pile of money?

    JOEScribble?

    EXECUTIVE

    Yes, scribble. I won't call itwriting because frankly, I wouldnttrust you to write a take-out menu.It's all just one great big clicheafter cliche.

    JOEC-can I maybe address someparticular... um... Issues you havewith the piece?

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    EXECUTIVETo be honest, I don't even knowwhere I would start. It's all justterrible. I'm sorry that I got yourhopes up with this meeting, it was

    cruel and for that I apologize. Iassume you know the way out?

    JOEDid you want me to rewrite it andbring it back when it's done?

    EXECUTIVEI don't want to ever see anotherpiece of paper with your name onit. Please leave.

    JOE

    There must be something I can do toimprove-

    EXECUTIVEPlease, you're making this veryuncomfortable for me...

    JOEIf you'll just...

    EXECUTIVENo.

    JOEWith another chance-

    EXECUTIVELeave. Please leave. Dear god, Ican't sit in this room one moreminute, the air is just thick withoverwhelming failure...

    The executive trails off as he leaves his office. Joe sitsalone for a beat, taking in what just happened. He grabs hisscript, shakes off the excess coffee, and looks at it.

    CUT TO:

    INT. CASTING OFFICE - DAY3 3

    Daniel (Mid 20s) stares at someone off screen. He ishandsome and healthy in the traditional sense. The kind ofguy who doesnt have to fuss over his looks in the mirror fortoo long. He has an intense look on his face.

    2

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    DANIELYou broke my heart. I let mydefences down after all this time,and you tore my heart out. You askfor my forgiveness? My answer is

    no. I'm sorry, but you blew it,game over.

    He turns his head away.

    READER(Off-screen)

    Please Michael, it was just the onetime.

    DANIELOne time is all it takes. It onlytakes one crash to take away your

    legs, and it only takes oneheartbreak to take away your love.

    A beat.

    CASTING DIRECTOR(O.S)

    And cut.

    Cut to a wide shot where we see Daniel is sitting in a chair,auditioning in front of a Casting Director, a Reader, and aCamera Operator.

    CASTING DIRECTOR (CONTD)Beautiful, just beautiful. Wow,amazing. Wasn't that amazing Janet?

    The reader nods.

    CASTING DIRECTOR (CONTD)Yeah... yeah. Now Daniel, I'm gonnaget you to do it one more time,please. Remove your shirt.

    DANIELSorry, my-

    CASTING DIRECTORShirt, your shirt, remove itplease.

    DANIELYeah, Okay.

    Daniel unbuttons and removes his shirt begrudgingly,revealing the toned body that the casting director is lookingto exploit.

    3

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    CASTING DIRECTOROkay great, fantastic. Are werolling? Okay, whenever you'reready Daniel, just the last bit.

    The camera operator goes from a tight close up on his face toa waist-up shot. Daniel uncomfortably clears his throat andbegins.

    DANIELOne time is all it takes. It onlytakes one crash to take away yourlegs, and it only takes oneheartbreak to take away your love.

    CASTING DIRECTOR(O.S)

    Cut, thank you.

    CASTING DIRECTOR (CONTD)Can you do it again, this timestanding? We wanna see thewhoooole thing, get a nicepicture of you.

    DANIELBut my character is a paraplegic...

    CASTING DIRECTORYeah, I think we're going to cutthat aspect, the cripple thing

    didn't test well with our focusgroup. So just cut the last partand say something like..."Let mework out in peace." In fact, cut itall and just say that line.

    DANIELYeah... Okay...

    Daniel stands up and moves his chair to the side. Instead ofgetting a waist-up on Daniel, the camera operator zooms outto show his whole body, thigh-up.

    CASTING DIRECTOR(O.S)

    Whenever you're ready.

    DANIELLet me work out in peace.

    A beat.

    4

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    CASTING DIRECTOR(O.S)

    And give us a flex.

    Daniel gives a half-hearted flex.

    CASTING DIRECTOR (CONTD)And... cut. Great job Dan, I have areally good feeling about this.

    DANIELYeah... okay...

    CUT TO:

    INT. WAITING ROOM - DAY4 4

    Joe sits in a chair with his headphones on, flipping through

    his script. The receptionist asks him a question but he can'thear her. She stands up and asks louder, but he still doesnthear. She throws an eraser at him which catches hisattention. He takes off his headphones.

    JOEHm?

    RECEPTIONISTHave you signed out?

    JOEFrom?

    RECEPTIONISTWhat do you mean "from?" Did younot just have a meeting?

    JOESorry, I-

    RECEPTIONISTJust sign next to your name.

    Joe gets up and crosses to the board at her desk. He quicklysigns his name and walks away.

    RECEPTIONIST (CONTD)You signed the wrong name.

    JOEThat's my name.

    RECEPTIONISTRight signature, wrong place. Isyour name Patricia Jennings?

    5

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    JOEN-

    RECEPTIONISTIt's rhetorical, moron.

    JOEOh.

    He goes to sign next to the right name as Daniel comes aroundthe corner.

    JOE (CONTD)How'd it go?

    DANIEL(Disappointed)

    Swimmingly, as usual.

    JOEWell that's good.

    Daniel goes to sign out.

    DANIELYup. How was your big meeting?

    JOEDon't ask.

    DANIEL

    If you insist.(To the receptionist)Thanks Lisa.

    He flashes her a smile and walks away.

    RECEPTIONISTLater darlin'!

    Joe goes to wave but she looks away. He goes to check hiswatch instead, then scampers out.

    ACT I

    INT. DANIELS CAR - DAY5 5

    Daniel drives his luxury car as Joe sits in the passengerseat still staring at his script.

    DANIELSo, are you gonna tell me aboutyour meeting or are you just gonnamope?

    6

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    JOEMope, probably.

    Daniels phone rings through his cars Bluetooth. He answersit.

    DANIELHello.

    Heavy breathing is heard over the cars stereo system.

    MR. HENDRICKS(Muffled, holding backlaughter and O.S)

    Hey, I uh... I'm looking for Jenny.It says for a good time call thisnumber, so here I am, a horny oleman looking for... well, you

    know... A good time (laughs)

    DANIELSorry, Jenny isn't here, this isDenzel. I'm a little bit extra, butworth every penny.

    A toilet flushes in the background.

    JOEAnd I'm Ronaldo. You can have acaliente time for the low low priceof...

    CUT WITH:

    INT. MR. HENDRICKS BEDROOM - DAY6 6

    Marcus dad, Mr. Hendricks (50-60s) lays on a bed propped upon some pillows, hooked up to an IV system and variousmonitors. Marcus (Mid 20s) comes out of the bathroomconnected to the room and snatches the phone away from hisfather. He is wearing a police hat that clashes with the restof his clothes.

    MARCUS

    (To his dad) Get off that, old man,youre smudging the screen withyour face grease. (To them) Thatwas my dad guys.

    DANIEL(Sarcastically)

    For real? Damn, I thought we weregonna make some extra cash.

    7

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    MARCUSHa-Ha. Everything go well Ipresume?

    DANIEL

    Same as always. Living the dream.

    Joe remains silent.

    MARCUSAnd how about our own Shakespeare?Are you famous yet? On your way toproducing a beautiful concerto?

    DANIELConcerto is music, genius,Shakespeare didnt write music.

    MARCUSWhatever.

    JOE(Beat) Things didnt go as planned.

    MARCUSYikes. How about we get over itwith a little shindig at your newplace? We need to christen iteventually.

    DANIEL

    Im game.

    JOEFine, but we need to keep it down.Gary has some sort of test hesstudying for and he wouldnt takekindly to us disturbing his peace.

    MARCUSHey man, when have I been anythingother than peaceful?

    Joe opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted.

    MARCUS (CONTD)(O.S)

    Thats rhetorical, smartass.

    Joe closes his mouth as Daniel rolls his eyes at him.

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    Marcus grabs two bottles of juice out of his bag.

    MARCUS(Changing the subject)

    Apple or Orange?

    MR. HENDRICKSApple. The orange has too muchacid.

    MARCUSDont forget your pills this time.You wanna make it to grad, dontyou?

    MR. HENDRICKSYeah, yeah. Just make sure yourehere later to change my depends and

    warm up my milk.

    MARCUS(Laughing) Shut up. I got anafternoon class.

    Marcus throws him the remote.

    MARCUS (CONTD)Here, maybe youll find somethingsaucier than US Weekly on Pay-Per-View. Just dont rack the bill uptoo much.

    MR. HENDRICKSYou warm an old mans heart, son.

    Marcus chuckles as he heads out with his bag slung over hisshoulder.

    EXT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY8 8

    Marcus walks gets off the bus and heads down the block. Hechecks his watch, then heads into the coffee shop.

    INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY9 9

    Marcus makes a beeline for the bathroom. Comes out a beatlater in his uniform, stuffing his hat in his bag. Begins hisshift as a barista.

    END OF ACT I

    ACT II

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    INT. JOES PLACE - NIGHT10 10

    Dan and Joe sit on Joes couch, beers in hand as Marcus is inthe kitchen making some popcorn. The coffee stained scriptlays on the coffee table before them.

    DANIELSo he really ripped it apart, huh?

    JOEYeeep. Held nothing back.

    DANIELAnd you had no idea it was thatbad?

    JOEWell, Bad, thats just his

    opinion you know...

    DANIELAnd his opinion caught youcompletely off guard?

    Joe nods.

    DANIEL (CONTD)Did he give you any criticism?

    Joe shakes his head.

    DANIEL (CONTD)Huh. How about I take a look at itand see if I can give you someconstructive feedback?

    JOEKnock yourself out.

    Daniel grabs the script and takes it into the kitchen,passing Marcus with his bowl of popcorn.

    MARCUSWhat are we watching?

    JOEWhatever Gary was watching last, Ijust turned the TV on.

    MARCUSPoker? Who watches poker?LAAAAAAAMMME.

    11

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    JOEShut up! Seriously Mark, this guytakes his studies very seriously. Icame home once and he was pacing infront of the patio door with

    equations written all over it.

    MARCUSLots of math guys do that-

    JOENaked. Said his clothes were tooconstricting, holding him back. Ithink hes been taking something.

    MARCUSSpeaking of taking things, you knowwho I ran into today at the

    pharmacy? Billy Strangeway, thatkid who went on a shoplifting spreeback in the day!

    JOE(Laughing) Hes Mr. Sophistication,goes by William now. Seems like hegot his act together.

    MARCUSWell Mr. Sophistication was sat onhis ass getting cuffed for gankingwhat looked like Cough syrup!

    A loud clearing of the throat is heard from Garys room.

    JOEShhhh! Wait, Ganking?

    MARCUSVerb: To steal.

    JOEThats not right.

    Joes phone goes off. He takes it out and sees a text from

    Gary. Keep it down pls :) Marcus rolls his eyes and Joegives a shrug. Daniel comes in from the kitchen and drops thescript on the coffee table.

    JOE (CONTD)That was fast.

    DANIELI go through a lot of those things.This aint my first rodeo.

    12

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    JOESo?

    DANIELWell, heres the thing. The

    characters, the story... its crap.

    JOEWhat? Crap?

    DANIELIm sorry Joe, I tried to findsomething redeeming in there but itwas bad. You know how hard it isfor me to say that.

    JOEWheres the constructive part of

    constructive feedback Dan? Crapdoesnt give me a whole lot toimprove on, how do I make itbetter?

    DANIELI dont know, it just all feels...phony.

    MARCUSIll tell you what you need toimprove on, you need to stop beingso awkward.

    JOEAwkward?

    Marcus nods.

    JOE (CONTD)What does being awkward have todo with anything?

    MARCUSThink about it. How many people doyou meet in a day? Week? Month?

    JOEI dont know...

    MARCUSYoure awkward, Joe, and itsstopping you from experiencing theworld, getting inspired, feelingsomething REAL.

    13

    (MORE)

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    So you have to create everythingartificially, which results ineverything feeling artificial.

    JOE

    Youre one to talk, youre one ofthe weirdest guys I know. Yourelike Freddie Mercury weird.

    MARCUSThank you.

    DANIELLike mayonnaise and ketchup weird.

    MARCUSDare you to try it.

    JOEYou have more than one pair ofhomemade Jean-Capris.

    MARCUSOkay, I get it, Im weird, butthats not what Im talking about.Im talking SOCIALLY AWKWARD.

    JOEYoure nuts! Im fine around youguys!

    MARCUSYes, us, but we are not the Socialaspect. You can hang around us dayin, day out, but you get thrown outinto the real world, and yourefish out of water my friend.

    DANIELHes right Joe. You dont get a lotof human interaction other than us,and lets face it, you probablycouldnt write a movie about us. ATV show, maybe, but even thats

    cutting it close.

    JOEIm just... shy. Thats endearingthough, right?!

    MARCUSYes, youre like a damn puppy dog,and who doesnt love puppies?

    14

    MARCUS (CONT'D)

    (MORE)

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    Only thing is, that wont do youany good with your writing. Youneed experience in the real world!

    JOE

    Thats rich, Im gettingscreenwriting advice from thedrummer of a Genesis cover band.

    MARCUSTHEY REVOLUTIONIZED THE WORLD OFPOP!

    Just then, the door flies open. The dust settles, and in thedoorway is a studious looking Gary (20s), standing patientas a saint. Gary wears pyjama pants with a robe draped aroundhim. He pushes up his glasses and enters the room in a verypolite manner.

    GARYHey Joe.

    JOEHey Gary, sorry about the noise.

    Gary waives it off.

    GARY(To Marcus)

    Theres a pretty nice car outfront, that yours?

    MARCUSI wish.

    DANIELThats mine, is it in your space?

    GARY(Still to Marcus)

    Its fine. How do you get around...um...

    MARCUS

    (Suspicious)Marcus, and what do you mean?

    GARYWhat is your main mode oftransportation?

    MARCUSWell I usually take the bus, youknow, save the environment and allthat.

    15

    MARCUS (CONT'D)

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    GARYHow big is it?

    MARCUSHow big is what, Gary?

    GARYThe bus, how big is the bus?

    The two are now getting closer together.

    MARCUSRegular size, I suppose.

    GARYHuh. I thought they drove your typearound in the little buses, theshort ones.

    MARCUSWhat are you trying to say, friend?

    GARYI apologize, I see subtlety isntyour forte. I'm trying to say YOUMUST BE MENTALLY CHALLENGED IF YOUCAN'T TAKE A SIMPLE REQUEST TOLOWER YOUR VOICE. I'M STUDYINGDAMNIT, DOES THIS SOUND LIKE AREASONABLE LEVEL TO TALK AT WHENSOMEBODY`S STUDYING?!

    They face off, but before anything drastic can go down, JOEand DAN drag MARCUS out as he hurls insults at Gary.

    DANIELSorry, he`s upset, lost his dog.

    JOEJust got fired.

    DANIELErectile Dysfunction.

    They take him outside and slam the door. A beat. Marcusstorms inside and grabs the bowl of popcorn.

    MARCUS(To Gary)

    My penis works just fine.

    He leaves with the popcorn.

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    EXT. RESTAURANT PATIO - NIGHT11 11

    The three sit at a table on the patio of a restaurant. Joepicks at some fries while Daniel takes his wallet out for thebill. Marcus munches on his popcorn.

    JOESo, even if I were to humor you andadmit that my... social anxiety hada negative effect on my writing,how would I go about solving that?Just be more confident? Be a moreoutgoing person?

    MARCUSWell, its not going to be easy,but you are fortunate enough tohave friends that wont let you

    back down, even if you comecrawling to us, a broken humanbeing. In fact, Im going to saythats the end goal.

    DANIELBroken human being? Sounds doable.

    JOEDo I get a say?

    MARCUSDo you want to be a good writer?

    JOEYeah.

    MARCUSThen no. You can write your sayonto the page. Or screen, orwhatever the hell you use to writeyour garbage.

    JOEHey...

    DANIELIn the meantime... lets try alittle challenge. I think itspretty important to get a readingon where our friend Joe is at,dont you think Marcus?

    MARCUSI sure do, Daniel. See what wereworking with.

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    DANIELExactly, and I think the best wayto do that, is a challenge.

    MARCUS

    I love challenges.

    DANIELAs do I Marcus, as do I.

    JOEWhat do you idiots want me to do?

    DANIELIdiots? Ouch. You see that girlover there?

    He points across the patio at a pretty brunette (20s)

    sitting by herself with a glass of water. She browses on herphone nonchalantly with her legs crossed under her chair. Shehas a kind vibe to her.

    DANIEL (CONTD)I want you to go over to that cutebut lonely girl, and I want you totry and get her number.

    JOEThats dumb, how is that going tohelp my writing?

    MARCUSEvery script needs a strong femalecharacter! Go over there and judgeher character! Be inspired!

    JOECome on guys, get real.

    DANIELI will tell the waiter it is yourbirthday. Do you want that? All thestaff singing at you? You thecenter of attention, sitting there

    with a vacant smile on your face,counting the seconds till the songis over and hoping they dont havea restaurant remix that tacks onanother 30 agonizing seconds?Didnt think so.

    They shove Joe out of his chair and he slowly makes his wayover to the girl.

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    JOEUm, so, hi.

    MELANIEHello...

    JOEIm Joe.

    He holds his hand out awkwardly for a shake.

    MELANIEHi Joe. Are you looking for money?

    JOENo! (Laughs nervously) Unlessyoure offering!

    His joke falls flat and he lets out a fake guffaw. She smilespolitely.

    MELANIEIs this a joke?

    JOEThat was, yeah, I know it wasntvery funny, it was just-

    MELANIENo, not that, this whole thing, youcoming over here.

    JOEUm... no?

    MELANIENo? Okay Joe, what brings you overto my table, if you dont mind measking?

    JOEWell, I just thought that its...uh... such a lovely day... I mean,night obviously (Laughs) and a girl-

    woman- shouldnt be sitting all byherself eating.

    MELANIENot eating yet, right Joe?

    JOERight!

    In his enthusiasm, Joe knocks over the vase on her table.Quickly picks it back up to reset it.

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    MELANIE(laughing)

    Why dont you have a seat.

    JOE

    Really?

    MELANIEYes, lets chat.

    JOE(nervously)

    Okay...

    Sits.

    JOE (CONTD)So what do you do-

    MELANIENot that kind of chat, Joe. Why didyou come over?

    JOEWell, like I said, um, lovely day -night! God, what is wrong with me?Lovely night.

    MELANIECome on, speak the truth, they sayit sets you free.

    A beat.

    JOE(quietly)

    Its a challenge....

    MELANIEA challenge! Awesome! What kind ofchallenge?

    JOEIm... supposed to talk to you.

    MELANIEDoesnt sound too challenging...

    JOEAnd get your number.

    MELANIEOh. Well my number is 312.

    20

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    JOE312? Arent phone numbers usually abit longer?

    MELANIE

    Apartment number 312.

    Joe does a double take. Is she trying to sleep with him?

    MELANIE (CONTD)(beat) Do you really not recognizeme?

    JOEI... uh...

    MELANIEI live down the hall from you,

    numbskull!

    JOEWow. I am just beyond... wow.

    MELANIEMaybe if you removed that headsetalways snuggly placed upon yournoggin you would notice people abit more.

    JOENotice people. That seems like as

    good a start as any...

    MELANIEMelanie.

    She reaches across the table to shake his hand.

    JOEJoe.

    MELANIEYouve already introduced yourself.

    JOERight, sorry.

    MELANIE(laughing)

    You dont have to apologize.Just remember to relax next timeyou approach a woman. They mightnot all find your weirdness funny.

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    JOEThanks.

    MELANIEYoure welcome.

    Joe stands up to leave, and walks over to his previous table.

    DANIELWell Marcus, cant say I actuallyexpected the phone number but Ithink we can be proud that hetried.

    MARCUSSpeak for yourself, I am verydisappointed in his lack of phonenumber.

    JOEOh shut up, I didnt get her phonenumber but I did have a connectionwith her.

    DANIELShe did invite him to sit.

    MARCUSTrue, I think he should get partialmarks on that one.

    JOEI dont know guys. There wassomething real there, a spark even.I feel like Ill be seeing a lotmore of her in the future.

    They all look over at her and smile. However, the smilesdont last long as they witness a man come in and greet herwith a kiss.

    MARCUSThrough a pair of binoculars,maybe.

    END OF ACT II

    ACT III12 12

    INT. DANIELS CAR - NIGHT13 13

    Joe sits in the middle of the back seat of Daniels car,gazing out the window with the popcorn bowl in his lap, nowempty.

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    Daniel is driving while Marcus sits in the passenger seatwith a handful of mints. They are all clearly tired, with theexception of Marcus.

    MARCUS

    Can you believe they just let metake these all?

    DANIELWhat did you expect them to do? Youjust reached into the bowl andhelped yourself.

    MARCUSHey man, its what theyre therefor.

    DANIEL

    They were behind the counter.

    MARCUSA man cannot be satiated with justthe three that come with the bill.Thats fresh breath for, what, acouple minutes!?

    He pops a mint in his mouth and chews it immediately. Rollsdown the window, spits the crumbs out.

    MARCUS (CONTD)Gross.

    They drive for a beat.

    JOEShe lives in the same apartment. Itwas too perfect.

    DANIELLet it go, Joe. She has aboyfriend.

    JOEYeah...

    MARCUSCome on man, youre gonna let aboyfriend deter you? Would EdgarAllen Poe back down so easily?

    DANIELBaby steps, Marcus. He cant hold aproper conversation with a woman,let alone steal her away from herboyfriend. No offense, buddy.

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    Joe grunts.

    MARCUSShoot for the stars, land on acloud right? Even if he doesnt

    succeed in stealing her away, maybeshell have an affair with him! Orhell piss off her boyfriend andstart a brawl! Both interestingsubjects to write about!

    DANIELYou are such a good influence. Getout.

    The car stops.

    MARCUS

    Youre just gonna kick me out?!Come on man, Im a product of myenvironment!

    DANIELWere at your house, dink.

    MARCUSOh. Right. Later gators.

    Marcus leaves.

    MR. HENDRICKS

    (O.S)About damn time!

    Joe climbs up front. Puts popcorn bowl at his feet.

    MARCUS(O.S)

    You were serious when you said Ihad to warm your milk?!

    They drive off in silence. Eventually, Daniel cant take itanymore.

    DANIELBack to moping, huh?

    JOENah, just thinking. Where do Istart? I mean, when one does amajor overhaul on their life, wheredoes one start?

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    DANIELI imagine one would start with somesort of list. Objectives, goals.

    JOE

    That doesnt sound like a bad idea.What kind of goals though?

    DANIELI dont know, try walking aroundwithout your music cranked up, joinan improv class or something. LikeI said, baby steps. Well work youup bit by bit. Youll be handingout free hugs on the street in notime.

    JOE

    (Laughing) Yeah. Thanks Dan.

    DANIELAnytime. (Beat) Hey, so... youthink you can write me something inyour next project?

    JOEYeah, Ill see if I have some roomfor a pretty-boy in my next one.

    DANIELYeah...

    Daniel starts to realize he might not ever escape histypecast. It all starts to weigh on him.

    JOENow look whos moping. You gonnatake us into oncoming traffic?

    No reply.

    JOE (CONTD)Whats up?

    DANIELNothing. I just feel like sometimestheres more out there, you know? Idont know, maybe its a Grass isalways greener on the other sidesort of thing, but I really feelcapable of so much more.

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    JOEI get you.

    They sit in silence some more. Joe realizes hes not the onlyone with issues.

    JOE (CONTD)Living the dream.

    INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALL14 14

    Joe walks up hall to his apartment door and pulls out hiskeys. Realizes he forgot his bowl in Daniels car.

    JOE(Pulling out his phone anddialing)

    Hey have you left yet? No, I just

    left my bowl in your car. Alright,Im heading down.

    Joe hangs up and turns around. He starts to walk towards thestaircase heading to the lobby but sees Melanie and herboyfriend coming up the stairs. He dashes out of sight andhides on the staircase going up. He manages to stay hidden asthey pass, but gets a loud text message. They hear it, andturn around.

    MELANIEJoe!

    JOEHey... um...

    MELANIEMelanie.

    JOESorry, real bad with names.

    MELANIERight. This is my boyfriend Derek,Derek this is Joe, hes been myneighbor for a while.

    Derek (30) is tall and good looking. He has a very friendlyand approachable aura to him and looks genuinely excited tomeet Joe.

    DEREKHey Joe, great to meet you! I seeyou all the time coming in but-

    JOEHeadphones?

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    DEREKExactly. Whatever youre listeningto must be really good!

    JOE

    Yeah, I guess its okay.

    They stand there awkwardly. Joe starts to walk away, butMelanie and Derek catch up to him.

    MELANIE(To Derek)

    You go ahead, Ill meet you inside.

    She gives Derek her keys and he goes ahead while Melaniewalks with Joe back to his apartment.

    DEREK

    It was great meeting you Joe!

    JOEYou too, um...

    MELANIE(Whispering)

    Derek.

    JOEDerek!

    They get to his door.

    MELANIEYou really need to work on yoursocial skills, my friend.

    JOEThats what they keep telling me.

    MELANIEDerek and I are having some friendsover tomorrow night if you wannaswing by and practice them. Thinkof it as another Challenge.

    JOEYeah, for sure, Ill be there. Whattime?

    MELANIEJust swing by sometime in theevening.

    JOEOkay, Ill see you there!

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    MELANIEAlright, night Joe.

    JOENight!

    He enters his apartment and locks the door. A beat. Doorunlocks and he comes out on his phone.

    JOE (CONTD)Im coming, Im coming!

    INT. JOES PLACE - THE NEXT DAY15 15

    Joe sits on his couch, looking bored, dressed in dress pants,a dress shirt and a tie. Beside him on the couch is thepopcorn bowl, but this time its filled with potato chips. Helooks at his phone. 4PM. Is that evening or afternoon?

    JOEHey Gary!

    No response. He goes to Garys bedroom door. Knocks, butdoesnt get a response. He takes this as consent and opensthe door. Gary sits crosslegged on his bed in nothing but hisboxer shorts, surrounded by papers and in front of hislaptop.

    JOE (CONTD)Hey Gary, would you consider 4pmthe evening? Or afternoon?

    Gary looks up at Joe, seemingly solving an equation writtenon Joes face. This unnerves Joe and he decides to leaveGarys room.

    EXT. MELANIES PLACE16 16

    Joe stands in front of Melanies door with his bowl under hisarm. He knocks on her door but doesnt get a response. Thedoor does open from the pressure of his knock, however and hesteps inside. He browses around her place observing picturesand other knick knacks. Melanie enters her house withgroceries and places them in the kitchen, not noticing Joe.

    Joe hears her and brings his chips to the kitchen.

    JOEI hope you like salt and vinegar!

    Melanie turns around shocked.

    MELANIEAH!

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    JOEAH! Oh god, sorry, the door wasjust open and I figured you werehaving a get together and peoplewere just supposed to come in or

    whatever, Im so sorry, I dont goto many get togethers...

    MELANIEJoe, 4PM is not evening!

    JOESorry, I was just waiting around.

    She takes a couple deep breaths to lower her heart rate.

    MELANIEWell, I guess now that youre here,

    you can help me put out somethings.

    She hands him a couple bags of groceries, veggie platters andsoda, that sort of thing.

    JOESure.

    MELANIEJust on the table in the livingroom.

    He goes to the living room and takes a veggie platter out. Heunwraps it and goes to take the lid off, but it is upsidedown. The veggies start to spill but he catches it beforethey fully do.

    JOESo what do you do for work,Melanie?

    MELANIE(O.S)

    Im a receptionist at a law firm.

    JOEThat sounds fun.

    MELANIE(O.S)

    Pays the bills!

    She comes in holding an armful of various liquors. She placesit on the table as he puts the bottles of soda next to them.

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    MELANIE (CONTD)What about you?

    JOESorry?

    MELANIEWhat do you do for work?

    JOEOh. Im uh... Im a writer.

    MELANIEOh thats great! Novels?

    JOEMovies mostly.

    MELANIEAnything Ive seen?

    JOENo. (A beat) I havent actually hadanything produced yet.

    MELANIEOh, well Im sure youll get there.Its refreshing to see someoneactually following their dreamsinstead of settling for justanother menial job.

    JOELike law firm receptionist?

    His joke falls flat and she stares at him.

    JOE (CONTD)Sorry, bad joke.

    MELANIE(Laughing) Thats okay, itsactually surprisingly pleasant. Iget to answer phones and talk to

    people all day, it really is ablast. Besides, it gives me plentyof time to do what I really love inmy off time.

    JOEWhats that?

    MELANIERelax.

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    JOEOh.

    MELANIEYou sound disappointed.

    JOENo, I just-

    MELANIERelax, Im just teasing. I know Imboring. If I was a character in oneof your movies what would I be?

    JOEProbably an artist or somethinglike that.

    MELANIEHow beautifully cliche.

    She flashes him a smile and goes back to setting everythingout.

    JOEYoure not boring.

    They look at each other.

    MELANIEThanks.

    Joe looks away.

    JOEYoure easy to talk to.

    MELANIEReally?

    JOEYeah. Believe it or not, I dontusually have a lot of luckinteracting with strangers.

    MELANIEThats okay. You have that shy,puppy dog thing going on. Whodoesnt love puppies!

    JOEWell I guess if you have an allergyor something-

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    MELANIEIts rhetorical, Joe.

    JOERight.

    MELANIEAnyways, there should be a fewgirls coming over tonight, what sayI introduce you to one or two? Ordo you already have a specialsomeone?

    JOESingle, and that sounds nice.

    MELANIEDone deal.

    She smiles at him and he smiles back. Its a comfortablesmile. We fade out.

    END OF ACT III

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