Jenny Nguyen

Malcolm Campbell

UWRT 1103

27 January 2015

Horrible Scores, Future Denied

The last two years of high school are the most stressful years for every student competing

for acceptance into his or her top universities. This is the time for applying for scholarships,

taking standardize tests, and completing college applications before their deadlines. Its the time

to plan out your next chapter in life, and to take your accomplishments and talents to a whole

new level. My journey was a difficult one, as I struggled to get a high score on my SAT and

ACTs. Some people can test well under pressure. Some people suffer from test anxiety and panic

attacks under pressure, as I do. In the end of this journey, I made it through two AP exams, four

SATs, and two ACTs, not including other assessments we were forced to take by the state.

So much money was invested on study aids to help me improve my scores for the SAT,

but I just ended up disappointing myself over and over. After receiving my disappointing score

the fourth time, I gave up. I allowed myself to accept my average score and just told myself

testing was just not for me. I decided to focus on the ACT, as this was my last chance for a better

score. The ACT was easier in my opinion, but the process was just longer. This test would be my

second time taking the ACT and my very last one ever.

On that morning of testing: I woke up early, made myself breakfast, drove myself to my

high school, and met up with familiar faces there to help calm my nerves. My head was swirling

with pessimistic thoughts of how a test score can damage my future. This doesnt and couldnt

define my knowledge. I was making all As with a perfect GPA, I couldnt do poorly on this. My

anxiety was flaring up as I approached the sign in desk. Everyone around me was smiling,

talking quietly, as if they knew they would be fine. Maybe they were, maybe they were more

prepared than I was

ID please? I looked down to see a pair of old brown eyes staring into mine. I smiled

and gave her my ID and printed ticket. She signed me in and handed me a number. Your

classroom number where you are assigned to test. Good luck. I said thank you and stalked off to

the left, down the dim hallway. Good luck echoed in my head as I looked for my room.

I entered the room and saw unfamiliar eyes stare into mine as I passed rows of desks and

chairs to my seat. My anxiety swelled as the minutes ticked by to 8 am as more and more

unfamiliar faces filled up the empty seats. I was hoping to see someone I knew but I never did.

Please calm yourself, Jenny. Please. I occupied myself by observing other people. Why are you

here? What college are you trying to get into? Are you nervous as I am? Are you smart? Why

are you laughing? Did you actually study for this? How do you even study for it? You dont even

know whats on i

Good morning everyone, the testing administrator said as she entered the room,

interrupting my thoughts. Its about time to start your test. Good luck.

This night was humid, the crowds were cheering, and the cannons were going off after

the recent touchdown scored by our football team. I pushed pass groups of people socializing,

laughing, gossiping, eating and enjoying their night, to find the parking lot. I needed to be away

from the cheers, the lights, and the people dressed in maroon and gold representing our team. It

was homecoming night; a month has passed since I took my last ACT. The scores were finally

posted. Callie walked next to me as we made our way out of the stadium.

Lets look at them at the same time, I suggested. We took the test last month together.

We went through the same journey together. We were both bad test takers and we were going to

end this stressful time together.

She nodded.

In the distance, I spotted our friends, Alexis and Jaron walking towards us. They waved

their arms up to signal our attention. I glanced at them for second, and then down at my phone. I

needed to know now. I held my breath as I clicked on the screen to reveal my score. The score

report popped up so fast, I couldnt process the information. I looked up to see a wave of

disappointment cross Callies face. Are you serious? she said. My heart was pounding as I

tried to make sense of the numbers. My score didnt even improve! It was the same as last time!

Are you serious? she exclaimed.

My score was a 22. I was speechless with disappointment. It improved by one since the

first time I took it. All this time and I didnt improve much. How could this be? How could I be

so bad? I just wanted to give up. I knew colleges were more competitive every year and I would

never get into my top choice with this score.

Why did you guys walk off? We won the game! They are celebrating on the field!

Jaron and Alexis had reached us. Whats wrong? Alexis asked, after noticing our blank faces

and silence. She glanced down at my phone. Oh, I see.

I dont even know what Im going to do anymore, I finally said. Im starting to just

not care anymore.

Hey, dont stress about it, you will both get into your top university. You have a great

academic record, these scores wont mean much, she encouraged.

Yeah, coming from someone that made a 27 the first time, I snapped. Shock registered

on her face. Even I was shocked about what I just said. I didnt mean to. I just felt useless after

trying for so long. Since junior year, I tried to prepare myself by taking AP Literature courses,

and AP exams to help improve my skills. I wasnt sure how I ended up with only a 22.

I dont feel like celebrating. Ill see you guys later. Callie hugged each of us and

headed to her car.

I turned to my friends. Im sorry, I didnt mean that. Im just stressed, and all for

nothing. Im going to head home and complete my applications now. Ill see you tomorrow. I

said.

That night was the night my stressful journey of testing ended. Sure enough, I had new

worries ahead of me, as college letters will start arriving over the course of my senior year. In the

very end, I didnt get into my top choice, but I did get into all my other ones. I decided that I

would learn to accept the fact that I didnt get in my top choice for a reason. I didnt know it at

the time and I still dont know why, but maybe that university wasnt for me. I decided to go

forth with my second choice at UNC Charlotte. Being here, I realized they werent that important

to begin with. There is so much more that shows how intelligent someone is than just a test

score. I loved writing and reading. I just couldnt do it on those tests. I wrote everyday in a

journal. I read 300 page novels every week. I knew how smart I was and I wasnt going to let

those score change how I see myself.

Even though I didnt receive my perfect score or get into my top school, I still made it to

where I am now and I will make the best of what I earned. Those stressful times of testing are

over for now and I can only focus on the future ahead.