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Listening To The Silent Cry Of A Broken Soul A Collection of Poems by MICHAEL ROBERT PIERSON © 2021 by Michael Robert Pierson. All rights reserved.

Listening To The Silent Cry Of A Broken Soul

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Listening To The Silent CryOf A Broken Soul

A Collection of Poems by

MICHAEL ROBERT PIERSON

© 2021 by Michael Robert Pierson. All rights reserved.

For Aiden and Oliver

1

A DAYDREAM MAY BECKON

Floating away On the back of a daydream Drifting towards The arms Of a forgotten lover The adoration Of people everywhere An expedition In a far off land

Oblivious to the world Around me My mind is elsewhere My seat may be a throne A cockpit A beach chair The basket Of a hot air balloon Sailing far overhead

At any place At any time A daydream may beckon Stealing me away From the daily grind Kidnapping me Demanding a ransom Of time And fantasy

Often a welcome distraction That reminds me Life is an adventure As much an inner journey As an outer one As much imagination As routine Often traveling as far As my daydreams can take me

2

A FINE LINE When there is no mountain High enough The summit of our obsession Remains just out of reach When risk Becomes its own reward We gamble on the rush Or the Reaper Betting it all on the rush We walk a fine line Between life And death With no room for error A fine line Between the bad ass And the dumb ass Settling for either Another chance Or an early Exit

3

ACCEPTENCE When is enough Enough How far Is too far How many times Is too many How old Is too old Questions can lead us To answers Questions can lead us Astray Questions can lead us Home Questions can lead us Away When will the mirror Reflect the true self The singular beauty Within Not the flaws Without The questions need to change Moving away from Want Moving away from Fear Moving away from Doubt Moving towards Acceptance

4

ALONG THE WAY The road we travel Is surrounded by joy It hides in the bushes Waiting to be found Distracted by potholes Confused by the many intersections Sometimes losing our way We pass more joys unnoticed Than we find Yet joy is patient In no hurry to come out of hiding Knowing the road is difficult It often sings encouragement To keep going To keep searching A glimpse here A glimpse there Is all it takes To keep believing To keep looking Even when we forget Exactly what we are looking for The secret To finding more joy Is how we travel Lighthearted and humble Listening more To the music in our heart Then the voices in our head Paying attention To the journey Instead of looking forward To the destination Realizing that the greatest joys Are often found When we leave the road And make our own path Along the way

5

AN UNEXPECTED JOY Sitting in the sun Surrounded by shade painted hills Watching the feral cats play Among the desert flowers Is an unexpected joy A surprise visitor That snuck up on me Unseen but always welcome When I try to invite her in She ignores my plea Choosing instead times of silence At places of her choosing locations of quiet reflection When the moment is all there is Time stands still The monkey mind naps Never knowing when she appears I can only guess Set the table for her visit Find the right seat Away from the distractions of the world Immersed in its subtle beauty Sit quietly and wait For an unexpected joy

6

BATHE IN TIMELESSNESS

Contemplating time Always unstoppable Always Onward Never resting To savor a moment

Dressed for battle Fierce and unrelenting Time marches on Enemies none Victorious over all

Every being Every thing Of this world Eventually will crumble Beneath it

Unable to be mastered It can only be distracted By the force of intention Causing it to stumble If only briefly

To slow time To embrace the present To soak in the now Is the greatest of all Human tricks

Breathing deeply With eyes closed Calming the mind Opens a crack in the armor Of timelessness

Sitting silently With attention Focused within Calms the beast That pursues us all

With practice Our embrace of the moment Widens Our gratitude for the present Grows

Whether in the arms Of our love Or in the glow of a sunset We can call up the magic And bathe in timelessness

7

BEING HUMAN I wake up Each morning Not knowing What is to come Will it be a good day Or will this be the day My life changes forever And not how I want Still I get out of bed Thankful for another chance To spin the wheel To gamble it all On happiness On peace On love My moods Are often kidnapped By events Around me When my mind is weak When I ride my thoughts Like a horse With no reins Unable to control them Best to remember My worries Are phantoms That I never see But seem to feel All around me If I pay attention to them So I try to push them away Sometimes it works Some days I dance through time Some days I stumble Either way I know If I am true to my heart Everything will work out As it should Even if it’s not how I want This thing called life Is a carousel Always spinning Always giving me a chance To ride a different beast Always giving me a chance To do my best Being human

8

BEING IN THE ROOM Being in the room Watching the faces Display the emotions Of conversation Listening to the outcome Of thoughtless indulgences Noting their impotence Upon those around them Waiting for a spark A sentence A gesture Anything to ignite the moment Something to wake awareness Shift attention Put a halt To all this empty thinking Looking around No one is dancing There is no music To shake the soul awake While the room is full It is empty of living Relying instead On well rehearsed being Each second passes Like the last Unnoticed And ignored The actors are playing Perfect parts Waiting for the applause Or the hook Being in the room Can drive you mad Or it can drive you To dance

9

BELIEVE Are you willing to have your heart broken again Are you willing to embrace disappearance Until there is nothing left But memories Will you let the wave that is your life Wash over you Or will you ride it into the white water Where it dies slowly upon the shore Exhausted but fulfilled Can you share your hopes and beliefs with the world Can you confess your mistakes While celebrating your victories Your soul is always whispering Encouragement and comfort Even when you refuse to listen Or are too afraid to hear The door to your new life Passes through your own reluctance Passes through everything that scares you You have to let go of who you are In order to embrace who you will be Don’t be caught in a world That wants to make you smaller You are enough You have always been enough Believe

10

BLIND TO WHO I AM Standing in the center Of my life On a clear day I can see in all directions The four compass points That guide my character Call my name Pull me towards them To the North Honesty To the East Integrity To the South Virtue To the West Compassion On a foggy day When my view is poor When I can’t even see myself I struggle to find even one Yet I know That if I just keep moving forward Listening for their call Trust in who I want to be I will get closer No matter how lost I seem When the fog clears And I find myself Back in the center of my life I realize I was never lost at all Just blind To who I am

11

CHANGE There are times In this life Great change occurs Nothing remains the same Of the great constant One can be certain It will happen around And within No anchor No peace The mind reels There is no safety Still we must look ahead Eagerly For what is to come So be it Hold tight What is now Love what was Love what is This moment Hides us from change Within its power We are safe In this moment The world stops spinning The mind pauses Peace

12

COMFORT Life is hard Whenever we are alone Whenever we feel isolated from the world Whenever we are kept away From those we love We all need comfort Now more than ever How we treat others The stranger waiting in line with you The neighbor scared to go out The cashier worried about her safety Often reflects how we treat ourselves When we are afraid And no one is around Being kind to others Opens the heart Wide enough to embrace Our greatest fears Opens the heart Wide enough to embrace Our inner child Who is lost in today's world Opens the heart Wide enough to remind us That we are never truly alone A smile A kind word A wave A patient attitude May be all we can do But it can be more than enough Right now Sometimes The greatest comfort You can give to yourself Is to provide comfort To someone else

13

CONTENTMENT Some say Happiness is Wanting what you have Not wanting what you don't have I say Striving to have something Worthy of wanting Is a game for the young To be content Should be the refuge of the old To be striving The playground of youth The reward of a long life May not be many years Or many things But contentment Along the youthful path Towards happiness Embrace the discontent Strive onward Settle for nothing less Than moving forward Growing with change Being risky When the journey Nears its end Then look back Content

14

DANCING ON TOP THE BOULDER OF PAIN Losses Gain momentum With each passing year Like a boulder of pain Rolling over me Again And again And again The halcyon days Of my youth Blissfully ignorant Of the road ahead But wallowing in the present Are a blessing And live still Inside Reminding me Happiness is a choice The curse of age Lies not Under that boulder But in the surrender To life To the world outside of me To all I cannot control To Everything Distracted I forget Choice is the master Everything I am Everything I will be Is a choice Happiness Sadness Love Regret Guilt Shame Loneliness Are all paths I can choose to tread So as the years pass As the losses mount I can choose I can live Either under the boulder Or on top of it Dancing

15

DEMENTIA Where do we go When we forget Where we are Who we are Why we are To be lost Within oneself Muffles the screams The panic Is silent Unaware Every step is new Leading further away From the known The familiar Constantly reborn Into a world Unknown Stumbling Into mystery The body Fails As the mind struggles To understand Anything From child To child The clarity Of a new womb Awaits

16

DYING ALONGSIDE MY CAT I hold her outside On the patio Looking out Over the Indio Hills My dying cat And I I want this moment To last Longer than it does I stroke her neck Desperately wanting her To know how much She is loved Telling her how lucky I am To have had her As my cat Telling her she is The best kitty I have ever known Or will ever know Trying to thank her For all the love She couldn’t help But give Always Struggling to keep My connection with her I try to watch the clouds Dance in the sky Through her eyes Does she know She is leaving the world These hills This sky Those clouds Forever Or is she just feeling Heavy and tired Thankful for the lap The petting The kind words From her usually stoic Human

17

She has been My wise teacher All of her life But I only see that Now Giving love Is all she ever wanted Nuzzling my neck Licking my ear Her greatest Pleasures I will miss My little friend And I try to stretch This moment Just a while longer Long enough For her to know She is not alone That I am here A part of me Dying Alongside her

18

ENDLESS CIRCLES The leaves turn to gold Just before falling to the ground The tree stands bare Waiting for the return of spring Waiting to be full again The sun sets Bidding farewell to the day Welcoming the darkness of night Until It reappears In all its splendor The next morning A baby cries A precious birth Beginning a journey That always leads back To an eternal womb Waiting to be reborn Every beginning has an end Every end a new beginning Saying goodbye Will always lead to a new hello Letting go Will always lead to a new embrace Life is a series of endless circles Always coming back To a different version of itself To dance in the middle Observing it all unfold as it should Without judgment or haste Will turn your soul to gold Long before the fall

19

ENOUGH I woke this morning Thinking I already have More than I should I’ve tried to sabotage My every happiness By believing my life Was never enough That everything that happened to me Was somebody else’s fault However When I least expect it My happiness always returns Dressed in different clothes A little worse for wear But my every happiness Nonetheless Playing the role of the victim Keeps me shackled to loss By hiding My sense of power Behind the actions of others I am enough My life is enough I will no longer surrender My power To the judgment Of anyone My riches may be tarnished But they are well earned Despite my best efforts To throw them away I may not have more Than I should But my happiness tells me What I do have Is enough

20

EVERY DAY IS A LIFETIME When struggling With challenges That demand constant Attention Every day is a lifetime Each hour Tests the resolve To keep going Focusing Without getting lost Time moves at a pace Equal to the challenge Being faced Patience A hard won prize Every day is a lifetime When a goal Is within reach Gratitude Awaits in the night

21

EVERY PRECIOUS DAY Looking back It’s easy to see What was missed How I became lost Each step along the way Was unique Leading me either home Or astray When every moment mattered I forgot to care enough To notice Where I was Always looking ahead Blinded me Shifting my gaze Away from now Away from The only truth There is That I can control When the sun rises Glorious in the eastern sky We can choose to look Rest in its beauty Or we can choose To keep our head down Waiting for a sunset That never comes We have the power To accomplish many things The greatest is to realize That everything is a choice A choice to look around Instead of ahead A choice to pause Instead of walking on A choice to find happiness Where we are Not where We want to be A choice to make the most Of what we have Standing in awe of everything That surrounds us

22

A choice to savor Every precious moment To embrace Every precious Day

23

EVERYTHING Resting In a sense of knowing Aware Like a child safe In the arms Of the mother Alive Yet fully asleep And dreaming This life With eyes Shut open In love Like a drunken priest Lost In a story That makes no sense Confused Hopeful That the rising sun Will set Always And forever Witnessing oneself In the mirror Of emotion Seeing nothing But false promises And lies Being human Is everything That scares us Is everything That hurts us Is everything That heals us Being human Is everything

24

FALLING THROUGH TIME The thinnest of veils Separates one moment From the next The lightness of our being Rides atop Each passing second Unable to stop time’s march Into the future We hold tight the reins of our life Becoming heavier And heavier With eyes closed And fists clenched We ride Struggling to maintain control Determined to master our steed Ignorant To the illusion of it all Once we realize We are but a feather Falling through time We can let go We can stop Spending what few moments We have left Trying to harness a phantom We may begin to master The only thing we can We may begin to master Ourselves

25

FINALLY FREE The old man was finally free Life had destroyed all of his bad habits One by one All of his many loves had disappeared Escaped his grasping embrace By choice Or neglect Or death All that remained of his life Were questions That he knew he could never answer But kept asking anyway Why me? Why them? Why this? And always the one question That seemed like an answer The world kept whispering in his ear Why not? The last piece to the puzzle That had been his life Was missing Not even freedom was enough To find it He had no more angels Left to bribe To help him He was on his own At last The great mystery That awaited him Made his soul shudder Because he knew deep inside His last breath Would complete the puzzle And send him on his way So he kept breathing Hoping he could find one last love One small bad habit One simple question To keep him tethered to the world All of his life He strived to be free The seduction had been complete

26

Yet this was not the promised land He had hoped to find The pot at the end of the rainbow Sat empty He had been conned Freedom was too lonely to bear So he wept The tears completing his life And he was on his way

27

FINDING BALANCE Finding balance In our life May be the greatest pursuit Understanding the law Of opposites Our deepest knowing When we choose to ride it The pendulum of joy and sadness Always swings in extremes We spend our time In laughter Or tears Yet deep happiness May only be found In the middle Opposites attract us Due to the strength Of their passion Emotions of love Or hate More fiercely felt Black or white The definitions are clear Requiring little thought Unable to exist without the other Opposites create the boundaries Of our world It is up to us To find our place between them And fill up our life

28

GROUNDED BY WANT Grounded In this life Unable to rise Above the clouds A different life will always call And the eyes will fail To see Clearly Want Keeps us tethered To illusion Burdening the soul With lies While blinding the heart With false visions Eventually Turning the caress of desire cold

29

HELLO WORRY Hello worry My old friend I welcome you like a lover Returning after a long day at work Your favorite chair is ready Waiting for you Sink in and relax Let’s spend the evening together I’ll tell you my troubles You’ll tell me mine too We’ll discuss the family And the people I call friends Who needs sleep If all goes as planned You’ll spend the night Seducing me with my fears Although the time will come When we part ways It is only temporary I need you like I need air to breathe Without you to chide me I would not know what to do Happiness is such a scary thought And so far away when you are near So we settle in for the long haul Knowing you will never leave me Worry My old friend

30

HOPE IS THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY At this very moment Somewhere A daughter Is holding her mother For the very last time While a mother Is holding her daughter For the first New life Hope for tomorrow Sustains us When the grief of loss Threatens everything At night The sun sets Ending the day With a promise Of rest A chance to reflect To try and understand A chance to let go A chance to put pain Behind us Each morning The sun rises With the promise Of a new day A chance to take a step forward A chance to see something We missed yesterday A chance at new life Night and day Death and birth Without one There is not the other Knowing that Is the Hope we must have To make it through The darkest of nights To make it through The most numbing Of losses Hope is the dawn Of a new day It rests at the center Of all things It is the hub That everything revolves around It is the Alpha

31

And Omega It is the seed Of which happiness grows It is the fertile ground For new life Without Hope There is nothing

32

I AM NOTHING Disturbed By what I see around me Disturbed By what I feel within me Disturbed By how I react To things I cannot control Disturbed by Everything It’s so much easier To hide It’s so much easier To live in fantasy It’s so much easier To play a role It's so much easier To avoid dealing with Everything Telling others how to live I shine my light outward Telling others how to live I avoid looking in the mirror Telling others how to live I escape myself Telling others how to live I feel better about Everything Avoiding self reflection Self absorption is my shield Protecting me from you Protecting me from myself When it’s always about me Conflict is always all about you Without you to validate me I am Nothing

33

ILLUSION Our eyes fall victim To what we see To what we believe Few things exist Beyond our thoughts The world around us Only makes sense If it is within us Vision reflects perception Perception reflects understanding Understanding reflects experience Experience reflects choices Choices reflect desires Desires reflect ego Ego is illusion Illusion informs everything

34

IMAGINATION When the way Is unknown Hidden behind puzzles Mysteries and enigmas Shrouded by doubt Teasingly beckoning us To come find it Look within Life gifts us All things taught All things learned The Gods gift us An ability beyond reason Beyond common sense Even beyond wisdom To solve the puzzle To find the way Within the mind’s eye Shines a light Illuminating all Following it Leads us to palaces Of insight Destinations Beyond seeing Birth places Of the Divine More important Than knowledge More useful Than intelligence It creates worlds Discovers cures Shows us the way Lifts us into the heavens Imagination

35

INTO NOW Worries usually knock At my door The moment I sit still Plans and schemes Quickly join the party Competing for attention Regrets and fears Usually the last to arrive Always overstay their welcome No matter where I go Trying to escape I am bound and held hostage Captured by phantoms That can only exist In realms beyond this moment Forced to endure The worst suffering imaginable Thoughts With only one way out I persist to search for an escape A backdoor into the present Away from the future Beyond the past Underneath my thinking mind Following my breath Leads me to its threshold Yet I struggle to open it With eyes closed Gazing upward Again and again I try Only when I surrender To this moment Acknowledge its power Fall at its feet and swear my devotion Will I be able to pass through Into Now

36

IT'S ALL I KNOW I can’t count the days I lounged under sunlit skies Free from threat or pain Yet I manufactured endless clouds To cover my gratitude To hide my joy Everything good always ends So I saw only bad In everything In everyone No end in sight One day Upon a bench I sat Drenched under my sadness Overlooking my gloom When a maiden appeared Bathed in sunlight Her face radiant and soft Where is your cloud I asked Where is your rain I set them free She sang I know that what seems so bad now Can easily change for the better So instead of holding onto my pains I let them go their own way I choose to be grateful for what I have Not angry for what I don’t But what will you do when your joy ends When the clouds reappear When the rains drench your happiness I will float up to meet my clouds Embrace how they make me feel Have a conversation with them To discover their secrets Then I will set them free again She replied While looking up at my gloom You must love misery To sit under such a dark cloud And get drenched by your pain It is familiar It is constant I can count on it I cried It’s all I know

37

She began to walk away But turned around and whispered Nothing is as it seems We only make it so by believing it Embrace change Believe in your power Believe in yourself

38

JOY AWAITS There is light Around you Within you Even if unseen When the veil of tears Covers your heart Darkness surrounds Everything Another test Challenges your existence Throws your joy Beyond the horizon Like your breath Your blessings Go unnoticed Hidden Stay strong Like your breath Your blessings sustain you Always The pendulum of pain Swings close The pendulum of joy Swings far Know that This pendulum that is life Is always shifting Always changing This day’s pain Tomorrow’s happiness Are always connected Always changing places The dramas will pass The traumas will pass The pendulum moves Joy awaits

39

JUST AROUND THE CORNER There are times When you can relax When the mind is quiet long enough To hear the world around you There are times When nothing is hurting When the pain eases long enough To feel just a little joy There are times When others make you smile When the fears pause long enough To let someone in There are times When everything is as it should be When your need to control lets go long enough To live in the moment Those times are all fleeting Coming and going Without fanfare or applause Hidden treasures waiting to be found Often just around the corner From where you are right now

40

JUST THE WEATHER The true nature of the sky Remains unchanged Whether clear and sunny Or buffeted by wind full of storm clouds And lightning Sharing its space With the tempests As they come and go Silently observing Refusing to identify its magnificence With what obscures its sun During those times When it exists cloudless and serene Free of distractions It rests in gratitude Yet knowing This too will pass You are the sky Everything else The clouds The wind The sunny days Is just the weather

41

LAKSHMI Throughout her life Lakshmi's greatest joy Was to wrap her little paws Around my neck Nuzzle and lick my ear Biting it softly Purring I took the love She needed to give For granted Began to think it A nuisance Putting her down Asking her To stop More often than not Now weak and dying She has finally stopped While I realize what it all meant For her And for me A lesson in love Giving and receiving With no strings attached Always there for the giving Whether taken or not Her life was that lesson Today Through tears Of sadness and regret As she fades away I pray she finds the strength To wrap her little paws Around my neck Nuzzle and lick my ear Biting it softly Purring Just one last time

42

LET FALL THE REIGN OF OPINION Lacking understanding Accountable to none We hold them close Protected Our words Our actions Our choices Are ruled by them Formed by prejudices Guided by ego The lowest form Of our knowing Aimed at others But missing the mark Painting our entire kingdom A shade of ignorance Unable to step outside of Who we are They shape us In their form Rise up Suspend ego See with the eyes Of another Let fall the cloak Of foolishness Let fall the reign Of opinion

43

LIFE BREAKS US ALL Life breaks us all Eventually Hold tight the day Within it is everything We are ever promised Now Is all that matters Tomorrow's illusion An imagined conversation An excuse to avoid what is A distraction to being Truly alive Waiting to live Is the same as dying Nothing comes from what if Or what might be We live now Outside the illusion Life breaks us all Eventually Hold tight the day Within it is everything We are ever promised

44

LIFE WILL SOFTEN YOU From beginning to end The road you travel Will be hard Losing your way More times Than you will admit Many will be your helpers Lifting you up Showing you the way Many will be your detractors Trying to keep you down Stepping over you on their way You will see birth And death And life in all its forms Your dreams will shift Like the winds of change As your soul grows and evolves Pain and suffering Will give way to joy and happiness And visa versa Mistakes made Promises broken You will do it all You will give More than you have Take more than you need No matter how hard You think you have become Struggle will give way to understanding Gratitude will replace disappointment Resentments will transform Into a knowing acceptance of your chosen fate The passing of years Will expand your vision As you learn to see with your heart Through it all It is love That will matter most Always In the end Life will soften you

45

LISTEN TO THE WIND Wisdom whistles through the trees Rustling the leaves Speaking softly To anyone who would listen Sitting alone A cup of tea Steaming beside me Is sometimes all it takes So little time Left to dream When all of our days Are numbered So little time Left to love When there are so many Things to love These moments Of silence Heal the bruises I usually give myself When I am never enough I seldom stop To question my life To question my thoughts When my mind is racing So am I Moving at a speed Faster than peace Only when I pause Long enough To let the world Settle in around me Only when I pause Long enough To catch a glimpse of my soul Do I listen to the wind

46

LISTENING TO THE SLIENT CRY OF A BROKEN SOUL She is all women She is everyone She is no one She is gone Hardened By a life Forged in the fire Of pain And loss Her soul Stood strong Hit after hit It took Without whimper Or Complaint Lost and forgotten Her soul Reminded her That she mattered Despite it all Unprotected And always attacked Her fierce soul remained Intact Only in the end When she dissolved Into the abyss Was her soul Broken And began to cry Listen

47

LYING HERE AWAKE As soon as the memory Of the dream Begins to fade The mind engages Starting slowly at first Gradually gaining momentum Until it is at full speed Its invitation To hop onboard Is never refused As if there was really A choice Reminding me Of my hopes My fears The anxious situations That are waiting for me Today and everyday Playing back the scenes Of my regrets Showing me The what ifs And I told you sos Of all my poor choices Faces of those I have loved And lost Float by Whispering reminders Of the pain I feel Without them It’s always best To get out of bed To open my eyes And see the day as it is Instead of lying here Awake

48

MAY YOU ALWAYS FLOURISH Every single day We make choices That impact the world Around us Every single day We make a difference Whether we realize it Or not How we think Matters What we do Is important When we realize Everything we do Reflects a choice We choose more wisely When we make a choice To use our power We create the world We want to live in When we realize Our power To make a difference We flourish When we flourish So does everything around us May you always Flourish

49

MORNING PRAYER Heavenly Father Divine Mother Lord Jesus Master My Guardian Angels My Helpers Teachers And Guides Thank you for my life Thank you for this day Help me to use it wisely Please forgive my sins And weaknesses Help me to overcome them Please forgive the hurt I’ve caused others Send them many blessings On my behalf Help me to avoid hurting Anyone today In either thought or deed Thank you for the help People have given me Throughout my life Send them many blessings On my behalf Permit me to continue To receive help Show me how to help Someone today Thank you for sending Your Light And Love And Healing Energy To my family And friends Especially those who Have left this earth plane And are continuing on Their spiritual journey And to those who are Sick Suffering Or in pain Thank you for sending Your Light And Love And healing energy

50

To all the beings In all the universes Who are Sick Suffering Or in pain Thank you for my life Thank you for your protection Guidance Blessings And forgiveness Thank you for the abundance You have provided me Throughout my life Thank you for helping me Become the person I was meant to be Thank you for replacing My will with Yours Thank you for sending Your light And Love And healing energy To me As I meditate This morning And throughout The day In your Holy names I pray Amen

51

MOVING Moving Rarely standing still Always on the run Busy busy busy Nothing too see Here No time to think Here Staying too long In one place Would mean Paying attention Taking a moment To rest Always creates Thoughts Thoughts create Emotions Feelings I can’t Control So I keep moving Busy busy busy Always on the run Where thoughts can’t find me Never slowing down To let feelings Block the escape From myself To give what is inside of me A chance to get out To get in the way Of my moving To get in the way Of my loneliness To get in the way Of my pain Got to keep Busy busy busy Got to keep Moving moving moving

52

NOTHING AT ALL When you only view the world Through the lens of what you see Or you understand your life Only through the thoughts in your head Where do you find your magic When everything that happens Is happening to you Or you understand your life As a constant struggle to survive Where do you find your peace When you blame everyone else For your troubles Or you understand your life By always feeling the victim Where do you find your hope When all you feel is anger And everyone is wrong Or you understand your life As a battle against fools Where do you find your joy Our visit on this earth Is but a blink of an eye To always look for what weakens you Is to spend your life Blindly searching For darkness And in the end Seeing nothing at all Being nothing at all

53

OLD FRIENDS Old friends Wrap around us Like a favorite blanket Helping to keep us warm On a cold winter’s day Their gaze Reflects our face As we always want to be seen In the honest light Of an unconditional embrace When we stumble Their arms reach out To hold us During those empty times When we struggle to stand When we fall behind They come back for us Take our burdens Share the load Help us to catch up with ourselves Their greatest gift Comes when we are alone With only the reminder of their friendship To keep us company And we rest in happiness

54

ON THE WINGS OF DESIRE On the wings of desire I believe my spirit soars Rising higher and higher With every new realization That I must have more More things More people More love More hate More distractions More lies to tell myself Attached to attachment I can’t let go of anything My being grasps At everything Like a person Afraid of drowning In a stormy sea I hold on tight To the wreckage Of my sinking ship Slowly going down Chained to my possessions Unable to let go Of anything Feeling entitled to everything I drown in my stubbornness Burn at the stake of my ego Constantly losing my way While I stumble Disappearing Into the dark forest Of all my many desires There is no joy In collecting darkness There is no light Surrounded by fear There is no hope Buried in want There is no soaring spirit Grounded by desire Only lies And slavery And foolishness

55

ONE MORE DAY Although the future Will always remain a mystery One thing is certain Our time on this earth Our time in this life Will come to an end One day The morning song of the wren The warmth of the sun On my face The spark of love In my heart Encourages me to hope Today is not that day Tomorrow is not so certain As my vision falters Beyond this present moment Yet the uncertainty Of what awaits me Does not dilute the hope That embraces me now My ability to squeeze As much life out of the present Is not hampered Or obstructed By the shadow of tomorrow Or even the clouds on the horizon Of today So I vow to hold this day close And to shed a tear of joy When it is over Knowing I am blessed By being given the chance For one more day Tomorrow

56

ONENESS Slow down Don’t rush Listen Nature calls you Pay attention Miss nothing Be still By quieting the mind You can hear Things You can hear Yourself Feel one With all Welling up inside you This moment Is all there is All that will ever be Memories fall short To experience While the future can only be A guess A hope A dream Embrace everything From this Great moment Where there are no questions No troubles No other Just Oneness

57

OUR GREATEST FEAR Our greatest fear Is not wrapped around The failure to grasp Any of the things of this world It flirts with our goals And teases us About how successful We think we should be It wears the clothing of loss That covers the nakedness We feel when empty And cold inside It looks into the eyes of our soul Darkening our heart Clouding our vision Blinding us It motivates every move Guides our steps Leads us away From its impossibility Surrounded always In an embrace of belonging At times we can only try to feel We are never truly apart Connected to every thing Connected to every one By the energetic force Of life itself Our greatest fear Is a phantom That cannot exist Outside of ourself Our greatest fear Denies our spirit Our greatest fear Is the fear of being alone

58

PATIENCE Losing something Losing someone Can tear your heart out The ground beneath your feet Suddenly gives way And you fall into a void A seemingly endless pit of sorrow Loneliness Regret You wear your what ifs Like a burial shroud Waiting for the first shovel of dirt Time The destroyer of all Becomes a reluctant friend Taking you by the hand Chipping away at your loss Day after day Until finally A morning comes Cloudless and sunny Until finally When you look in the mirror You see yourself again Patience serves us well At the bottom of the pit It grows in the garden of pain It blooms with flowers of wisdom Its fruit is a mirror That reflects your soul So you can know your strength Trust in your life Trust in your Self Wait for it

59

PERFECTION Perfection is all around us Embracing everything Waiting To be embraced Open mind Open heart Open eyes Open life When we remain closed We remain lost Beyond the embrace Beyond the perfection Our destiny Is a conversation Between our beliefs Between our visions How we see the world How we see ourselves How we see others How we see this moment When we see imperfection We are imperfect Lost in illusion Falling into despair Knowing perfection Demands a power Beyond this world Beyond our thoughts Knowing perfection Demands a power Seen in the eyes Of infants all Simplicity Faith Hope Love Perfection is all around us Embracing everything Waiting To be embraced

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PILGRIMAGE The journey To our most sacred place Always begins inside With a knowing A conversation With our highest Self Unexpected and urgent Showing us the way The listening To our most powerful voice Whispering its hunger to be fed Is the first step we take The destination An ever changing reminder Of an inner need To reconnect with our Soul The goal Is not to escape our troubles But to remind us That we are much more than them The Pilgrimage is an attitude That lifts us above the madness The Pilgrimage is not always a physical journey It is an intimate embrace of spirit The Pilgrimage is always waiting for us To take that first step To our most sacred of places The heart of our most high Self

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PILLOW OF DREAMS Each night Long after the sun sets And the stars make themselves known In the dark night sky I lay my head down On a pillow of dreams The day’s events forgotten Or so it seems As my mind looks ahead To all the joys Struggles and challenges That the morrow will bring Suddenly In the midst Of all my planning Anticipating and scheming Without a sign or a warning I find myself far away In an oddly familiar place Beyond the boundary of time This is a realm of infinite possibilities Where the past dances with the present While the present feels like a future That I might be able to glimpse If I just don't try so hard Friends and family Lost in the outer world Take turns Keeping me company Hinting at some secret message I always struggle to decipher Running away From demons and monsters Escaping situations That are bound to enslave me Searching for answers to the questions I just can't remember when awake The adventures are as endless As my imagination can conjure And my emotions can endure Teasing me to go deeper To face the fears That keep me stuck on the other side Lessons within lessons Each drama Unfolds before me Like an invisible gift That I cannot open Until I am ready

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Flying or falling Swimming or sinking Each visit to this inner realm Seems as fresh and alive As everyday seems In my other life Often struggling to tell the difference Between worlds Unaware of my slumbering My reality shifts My vision clears The real becomes the dream And when my demise is imminent I always escape The moment I realize My head stills rests On that pillow beneath the stars And death is just an illusion

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PRECIOUS IS THE DAY Shadows dance Among the hillsides The play Of light And dark Fades as the sun Rises Illuminating all with Its penetrating light The orb of life Sails slowly Upward Over Beyond The day begins As it did Yesterday As it will Tomorrow Traveling through time As always Light Embraces all Showing the way Inviting Our inner eyes To look up And see Yet The distracted mind Ignores the journey Of each day Waiting For something else Looking For an answer To a question They haven't asked Lost in time Stumbling Through darkness The way out of confusion Into light Is awareness Of the journey Knowing deeply how Precious is the day

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SACRED SPACE Looking around The pace of life Is dizzying With too much to do And not enough time So much gets left undone The waiting list Of obligations Grows and grows With the passing of each year Everything around and within Gets more and more complicated My life screams to slow down To retreat to a place Where I can catch my breath A place where time stands still Where I can direct my energy Back into myself Where my thoughts Call a truce with my spirit Giving it a chance to heal Surrounded on all sides By worries and fears My escape seems blocked Yet when I close my eyes Breathe deeply My thoughts begin to slow My spirit wakes And begins to remind me That I am not all this doing Reminding me the path I am on Will teach me everything If I am just willing to pause If I am willing to go inside Listen to my soul And rest within my sacred space

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SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING Happiness will have to wait It seems all the ingredients Have not been gathered Looking around I’m not sure what else I need Having spent most of my days Collecting everything I thought I should have Why then Am I still left wanting Waiting for happiness With the passing of time The list of things I need Grows and grows Until I begin to wonder How many arms it will take To hold everything How many goals Will I have to reach To earn everything How many things Will I need to buy To have it all Chasing happiness Is a full time job Searching For what I lack Leaving no time For appreciation For reflection For gratitude For joy Only enough time To keep searching For something

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SEDONA February 10, 2019 Sitting by the fire She sings While playing the guitar The moment perfect In all its illusory Guises Another year has passed Yet the world still turns Incomplete in its understanding Throwing the occasional bone at us To pique our interest But not enough to solve The mystery Before the song ends I will mark this moment And hold it close Grateful for the fire The melody The woman Grateful for the life That holds it all In its often forgetful hands I pray for memory Just this one It is enough to hold me And sustain me Now and tomorrow For just as long As the fire continues to burn

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SELF Our heart Beats to the rhythm Of all life Beats to a rhythm Beyond the world The heartbeat Of the world Beats as one Listen It can only be heard In silence We are connected To everything Everything is connected to us We are not an island Adrift in a sea Of isolation Thoughts of separateness Are born of dreams Illusions of the mind To teach us We exist To teach us To survive The greater teaching Comes when we realize There is more When we realize We are more When we begin to understand Everything is more Than it appears We all swim In a sea of togetherness Our gift Is being able to experience it Individually When we know deeply That everything we do Contributes something To the whole We do better When we know deeply Everything is family We become more We are better There is no self

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SHE SPOKE OF ANGELS She spoke of Angels As if everyone could see them Dancing with our troubles Jumping with our joys Lying down with our pains She spoke of angels As if they never left our side Holding us fiercely As a lover In an embrace of compassion She spoke of angels As if everyone could hear them Whispering comfort when down Guidance when lost Encouragement when stumbling She spoke of angels As if they were everywhere Hands in ours Arm in arm Touching our hearts When she left She spoke of angels As if they would lead her home Through the forest of darkness Into the peace of eternity When she was gone I spoke of angels As if everyone could see them As if they never left our side As if they were everywhere

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SILENCE ALLOWS How many wrongs Have I been Complicit in Just by doing nothing Turning my back On what is right Or true Or needed Because I didn’t want To get involved Because I didn’t think I had time Because I didn’t care Enough Because My own comfort Came first Failing to put myself In another’s shoes To take action Instead of remaining quiet Haunts me Knowing I could have done Something Knowing I could have led With my heart Instead of my head Every day There is a wrong Waiting to be righted Waiting for someone To speak up On another’s behalf Just a word May be all it takes To help To show someone You care To show someone They matter Doing nothing Gives permission To hurt To steal To slight Sometimes Silence allows

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SING YOUR SONG

In this world It’s easy to want More than you have Easy to be envious Of those around you

Wishing for something different Imagining another existence Than the one you are living Traveling down a road That follows someone else’s life

Some of the most challenging lessons To learn in this world Are to love yourself Embrace your life Follow your path

It is impossible to imitate The happiness of another You cannot dress up their joys To look like yours You must find your own

Instead of looking outward Look inward towards yourself Discover your own unique heart Develop your own unique gifts Follow your own unique passions

In the infinity of space At this crossroads in time There is only one you No one else is more or less No one else holds your place

The conversation You have with the world Can only be heard When spoken With your own voice

Sing your song Every day of your life Dance to the rhythms Of your soul Always

Don’t throw yourself away Chasing after the illusions of others Know your own truth It will take you where you need to be It will take you home

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SITTING IN A HOLE This morning I woke up Sitting in a hole Again It was a bit cramped I couldn't move my feet The rain had formed a puddle My ass was wet This morning I woke up Sitting in a hole Again The walls made slick by my lies Guilty pleasures Stubborn grudges Foolish choices This morning I woke up Sitting in a hole Again My special place Where I go When the world collapses Around me This morning I woke up Sitting in a hole Again Started to think Maybe it isn't the world collapsing Maybe it is me This morning I woke up Sitting in a hole Again Wondering how hard it would be To find A more honest place To sit This morning I woke up Sitting in a hole Again Feeling optimistic Looking around me At all the others Sitting in their holes This morning I woke up Sitting in a hole Again Stood up Climbed out Walked forward WOKE

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SO I WAIT How many tests Must one endure To learn all the lessons Life teaches us Without much Or many What I do possess Are my treasures Ashes or dust Neglect or thievery Must I lose everything To learn detachment Must my life Be turned upside down In order to live Upright How many times Must my heart be broken To understand Compassion Do I keep falling Until I realize I need others To stand There must be a time Waiting for me When all the tests Have been passed A time when All my loss and suffering Make sense And I can smile again A time when My soul can stand strong Weather any storm Climb any mountain So I wait Doing my best every day Embracing my joys Learning from my pains

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SOMETIMES Sometimes It is easier to be lost The sense of hopelessness More familiar Than it is to find a new way Sometimes Everything happens so fast That life becomes a blur And I can’t see Where I want to go Sometimes The moment Can be too big Too overwhelming To understand completely Sometimes It is more comfortable To lose Than to take on The expectations of winning Sometimes I wake with a smile Not knowing why I search for an answer Until it is gone Sometimes Nothing makes sense Up becomes down Light become dark Love becomes hate Sometimes What seems so right Turns out so wrong It makes me question Everything Sometimes I realize The issues I struggle with Don’t exist at all Except in my head Sometimes

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SONG OF LIFE I sing My song of life At night Below A rising moon Alone On a branch In a tree Surrounded By everything I believe To be true In the distance My fears Sing back A taunting melody To remind me I don't have To be alone I can join them And be Afraid Like all The others Under a blood Moon I can dance With my demons And make love To my shame Embraced By everything I choose To forget That causes me Pain Come home My fears sing We await Your return The banquet Of tears Grows cold Without you All of the others Need you Need your pain To exist

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One doubt One moment Of weakness Signals My surrender To all of my fears Who will steal My song While plucking My feathers To keep me Grounded So, I sing louder My fierce song of life At night Alone On a branch Below A rising moon Unbowed Surrounded By everything I believe To be true

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SPENDING TIME LIKE IT IS MONEY Given only so much time To live our life One would think It would have more value Yet we flitter it away Every chance we have Blind to the true cost Of wasting so much of it We seldom pause long enough To realize How much we squander When our pockets Are full of change We can count it Knowing how much we have to spend We can decide What we can afford How to spend it wisely Whether we do or not We rejoice knowing we can Buy something tomorrow If we don’t spend it All today Yet we never know How much time Is left In our pockets But we spend it Like our pockets Are always full Never going to empty Perhaps it is wise To reconsider what we are doing And start thinking about Spending time like it is money

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STILLNESS The stillness Of a moonless night Leaves no shadows Calmness Amidst life Ignores drama

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STRUGGLING TO STAND

When the weight of my world Seems too much to bear I find myself retreating Back into the darkness

Where the light is too dim To find my way out And I become lost Within a vicious cycle of self-made pain

Falling down again and again My strength wanes Until I see no other choice But to stay down

Yet before I surrender completely A voice deep inside stirs me Urging me to keep going Crying for me to get up

As long as we are willing to listen There is always hope There is always light There is always a tomorrow

Hold tight to that inner voice It is there to lift you up No matter how dark your world is Or how hard you are struggling to stand

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SURRENDERING TO THE MOMENT I stand With my hands raised Above my head No sudden moves Looking around The quiet is comforting The world Is standing still While on the run I thought I was in charge My escapes Undetected I use to think I knew what I was doing That I had it all Under control Avoiding Each passing second By dreaming Of the next Never realizing How much time I ignored Trying to keep one step Ahead of today I can’t count The number of years I wasted Spent as a fugitive Of the present I see it now My foolish choices Chasing a future That didn’t exist Giving myself up My only hope To start over To find some peace Everything I ever wanted Is waiting for me Right here Right now Surrendering to the moment The only option left To find my life To find myself

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TALKING IN SILENCE Our conversation With the world Is often loud A one-sided narrative To explain To justify We seldom learn anything When our ears are full Of our own voice How much fuller Would our lives be If we listened more If we stopped talking Just long enough To hear Just long enough To stop thinking About ourselves Just long enough To hear the world Tell its story When we speak The world is silent When we are silent The world speaks

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THE BEST WITHIN US Who holds you close When you keep the world A heart beat away From love There are times When you catch your heart Just before falling into the embrace of another The conversation You have with yourself Reminds you to hold onto the pain Because it is something you know You don’t know How to hold onto love But you know how to hold onto hurt It is more familiar Sometimes life Gets the best Of the best Within us Trust your heart Let go of your pain Be your best Even when you can't

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THE COLLECTOR Sitting alone Surrounded By the possessions In his mind The Collector dreams Of what he doesn’t have Instead of treasuring What he does When he sees something he wants He falls all over himself To add it to his collection At the expense Of everyone At the expense Of everything Around him For nothing Is beyond his reach Beyond his desire Beyond his need To possess It’s all fair game When he makes the rules His path Is littered With broken hearts Broken promises Broken reflections Of who he seems to be Only illusion Is real The Collector Sees everything As something to own As something to hold But only briefly Until he discards it Out of sight Just another notch The Collector Sits alone

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THE DAY AFTER A SADNESS Waking up The day after a sadness The world is dull Everything is heavy The morning songbirds Are silent The sun That shone so brightly Only a few days ago Is hidden Behind darkness Weepy and sad Sitting in quiet bewilderment Wondering If anything will ever Be the same What day will it be When I see the sun Once more What morning Will I finally wake Listening To the songbirds Again Everything is hard Only the tears Come easily My only friend Is time Taking me by the hand Leading me away From the sadness Slowly One second at a time This is life

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THE EDGE OF WHO I AM BECOMING I woke up In the middle of my life After a lifelong daze Realizing That there is more To each day Than just meeting my responsibilities I’m tired of wearing my weakness Like a favorite coat Wherever I go The conversation I am having With the world The conversation I am having With myself Is old and stale Worn out themes Based on failed schemes Worthless pipe dreams Over and over and over I am so bored Of it all The truth is We all limp through life To survive We must turn towards the limping And connect to it Find that place within That allows us to go out into the world Despite all of our flaws The trap is Believing the world Can make us smaller That the world can make you feel Like you belong Or that you are abandoned The reality is The only power that controls us Is the conversation we have with ourselves The reality is That God is a reflection Not a traffic cop The reality is The less we believe in The less we belong

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The reality is Everyone you meet Comes with a lesson The reality is The secret to a good life Is generosity I am at the edge Of who I am becoming Just waiting for a push Or a pull From within

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THE END OF THE ROAD The horizon nears Even as we take the first step Not knowing where to go Struggling forward The time it takes to reach our destination Flashes past Quicker than a bolt of lightning In the sky of existence Without awareness of the journey Nothing matters Like a dog chasing its tail We surrender to folly Going nowhere With eyes wide open We see With mind wide open We understand With heart wide open We live We mustn’t forget Who we are And why we travel This hard road Often alone Often on the backs of others Often carrying all of the world In our head Each step takes patience Each step takes mindfulness Each step takes effort While each effort moves us closer To ourselves To others To the end of the road

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THE FAIRY TALE CONTINUES The flowers On the kitchen counter Speak of a woman's presence The ripened fruit in the bowl More than I could have imagined Ginger tea On the stove Whistles an introduction To a waiting cup In the parlor Her guitar patiently waits To be held Strummed Sung to Cats More than a couple Lounge playfully around Eyeing each other Like suspicious lovers The gardens Something always in bloom Home to gnomes Buddhas Krishnas Tucked in Slumbering peacefully My love dreams Halfway in another world Halfway in ours Grateful All of my world is here Embracing me Reminding me The fairy tale continues

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THE GODS OF PLAY The laughter remained Long after The children had gone Taking no prisoners They captured each moment Like it was their last Escaping the boundaries Of time Covered in glee Radiating bliss Their play Was sacred Yet there were no rules To restrain their souls Spontaneous and free They danced Eventually They merged into one Sharing the same spirit Their only desire To embrace the others’ joy Unattached To the world around them They created their own universe Nothing existed Outside of each other Watching from afar I searched for their secret Looking for clues That might teach me To let go of myself To merge my spirit With others To learn How to play Like a god

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THE LIGHT COME TO END A DARK NIGHT Every storm That passes over us And drenches our lives Runs out of rain Every dark night That never seems to end Eventually gives in To the light of a new day Our most difficult times Are not the injuries we incur It is the waiting we must endure For them to heal Often a time of silent suffering We keep the pain close Hidden from the world around us Unable to share our grief Unwilling to seem weak Or broken We end up weaker We end up broken Putting ourselves back together Often takes more hands then we have To pick up the pieces To heal Sharing our pain Is the best medicine Asking for help the best expression of our strength Knowing we are not alone That someone is out there To help lead us back to ourselves Is the light come to end a dark night

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THE PROMISE OF THE UNEXPECTED Today might be the day Your world changes Today might be the day Your dreams come true Today might be the day Your heart shatters Into a million pieces Change is the one great constant We can never escape It hovers over life Like a vulture Waiting to devour What is Whether turning our life Upside down Or right side up Nothing is ever the same Once it lands Hold close all that is dear You never know when they will leave you Keep your embrace Wide enough for more You never know how much You will be given Cherish every moment That is filled with joy It will pass quickly Let go of your suffering It is also Just a brief shadow Good or bad Pain or pleasure Today holds the promise Of the unexpected

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THE QUESTION When we first step out in the world To find our self To discover our passions To seek our own unique voice Among many others We are often lost With more questions Than answers To show us the way Through trial and error Mistakes and missteps Victories and loses The answers slowly show themselves Often at the expense of our plans What we never thought we’d become We suddenly are Where we never thought we’d go Here we stand Everything in life is changeable Everything in life changes We may not ride the first wave we catch But we will always ride the last Staying upright is what matters Moving onward is what counts Asking the right questions Is what will keep us going Even when the answers are never quite clear Of all life’s questions One is the Holy Grail That you should ask yourself every day One will keep you young No matter how old you become One will never settle Or have an answer Yet it will inspire you To always strive to become your best What am I going to do with my life?

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THE SPACES BETWEEN LIVING The collected moments of time Gathered by a soul Strung all together Make up a life At times The series of events Fit together Perfectly A jigsaw puzzle of experiences Displaying a landscape Of sublime intention For all to see Other times The meanings and purposes Are hidden Even from ourselves The puzzle seems incomplete The string broken The ends frayed Seemingly impossible to reconnect Yet they do Somehow Given enough time And trust in ourself Patiently waiting In those times of disconnection In those times when life seems to stop Can lead to the greatest of gifts The spaces between living Are full of insight When we allow life to pause Long enough to take a breath When we allow life to pause Long enough to embrace the silence That our soul Speaks to us in

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THE STORIES WE TELL We are all Actors Playing our roles To a script That we write And rewrite After every scene Unwilling To accept the critics We color the narrative To suit our needs To put us In the best Or the worst light The villain today Becomes a hero tomorrow As we fill in the blanks With misdirected facts Imaginative backstories Hidden motivations Unknown pursuits Heroic deeds Often do not survive The insecurities That steal our spotlight Giving way To the victim role We think we deserve At the final curtain call We are Who we think we are The stories we tell Ourselves and others Will ultimately create The life we live

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THE OLD STORIES When I was young The old ones’ tales Taught me of the past Introduced me to family Long gone But not yet forgotten Still a child They were just stories The meanings lost to a child’s mind As time and family have passed I have become the old one Telling stories Will anyone listen to mine Carry the memories forward Give life to those long gone We are all the sum of our parts Those who came before us Gave their life to ours We were their purpose For living Just as our children ours To value the past Is to hold tight the memories Of our tribe To value the stories Is to know Who we truly are

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THE TRAIL YOU LEAVE BEHIND Will you be content With the trail You leave behind When you are gone Will you have journeyed To your dreams Walked far enough To see yourself Will your past Be the future You see for yourself Right now When those around you fall Do you pause to question Your own path Your own choices Loss is a reminder Of what has been gained A reminder that time Is precious Reflection does not come easy Cutting our world in half Opening up your vision To see inside Beyond your control Your exit is a mystery So do the work each day Persist The Trail you leave behind Is being made today Pay attention To the steps you take

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THE WAY WE TRAVEL We all travel a path That leads to our destiny Seen and unseen A hidden route The river of experience Runs alongside Where we dip our cup To quench our thirst for life The way we travel Is just as important as how we travel Or the unknown destination we are traveling towards The ocean of our disappearance Lies always ahead Drawing us nearer To drown into the infinite You already know where you need to go But you haven’t yet let yourself fall into that place Head first and totally submerged into your life Let go of everything That holds you back Let go of everything That keeps you from becoming Everything you have always wanted to be Let go of everything That restricts you From traveling everywhere You have always wanted to go Let go of that reflection of yourself That you see in the eyes of others Let go of what you think you must be And embrace the possibility of dreams The path The river The ocean Will always be a mystery Until you accomplish one thing Let go of yourself

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THERE IT IS There is nothing you lack Everything you need Is only a thought away A choice Just waiting Pregnant with opportunity A choice To be made Each and every day Choosing happiness Empowers Choosing happiness Lightens your load Choosing happiness Fills your cup So it can be shared With those around you Shift your energy Away from negative thoughts Trust in yourself If your happiness is hard to find Don’t look for it in things Or people Or places Look inside There it is

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THERE WILL COME A DAY There will come a day When you step Over everything You’ve been told When you question Everything you thought You believed When you start To think for yourself Your world will shift Slowly at first Gaining momentum As the confidence you have In who you are becoming Begins to grow As your vision expands As you begin to find Your place among all things Strangers Will begin to look Like friends Your sense of family Will expand To include even those You have never met Or those who don't recognize Your light You will realize The most important gift You can share Is your truth And the fire shining in your eyes While you embrace Each moment Knowing How precious it is You will realize The most important choices You can make Are those that help you grow By helping others That the best mirror you can have Is the face of a friend That the most important things in life Can be neither bought or sold Life will teach you Many things Some lessons come easily Some are never learned

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Maybe the most important lessons Teach you to let go Of illusion In order to become Yourself

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TIMELESS Time is an illusion A series of separate moments Strung together To make an hour A day A year A life The eternal present moment Falls back into itself Over and over and over Always changing Disguising itself as itself Existing solely in relation To itself Rarely understood We try to make sense Of each moment By measuring it in increments Large and small Confusing the steps For the stairway Rarely captured A separate moment Is life’s most precious gift Allowing us to escape The bonds of time The shackles used To measure our lives In reality Time exists Only in our mind As a goal Something to reach Something to master Something to enslave us Created to give us the illusion Of knowing Time is a false god Tricking us to believe it exists So we can worship it On the alter Of control When we stop moving Up the stairway Resting on each step Paying attention To where we are now Not where we are going We escape time

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This moment Is all there really is Within it rests eternity An awareness Of infinity That makes living More precious When we live within This moment Our world changes Everything matters We see life As it truly is Timeless

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TOO MANY ROADS Too many roads To travel In my search Which ones Will I choose To walk Too many words To guide me When I’ve lost my way Which ones Will I listen to To lead me Too many hearts To break mine When I give it away Which ones Will I love To heal me Too many arms To hold me In my darkest hour Which ones Will I embrace To comfort me To many choices To make Along the way Which ones Will I know To save me

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WAITING FOR A SIGN The first step Is always the hardest When we want to Change our life Fear of the unknown Clouds our vision Of who we think We can become Will we lose More than we gain If our choices Are wrong Or will our world Open up Helping our life Become bigger There’s only one way to go Change is inevitable It will strike whether you are ready or not Take that first step on your own Waiting for a sign Will leave you powerless Waiting for a sign Will leave you stuck

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WAITING FOR THE MORNING Waiting for the morning Can seem like forever Darkness all around Cold biting at your soul Only a faint glimpse Of the rising sun Is all I need To warm me Knowing the light will come Soothes my fears Knowing that day follows night Gives me hope Nothing lasts Forever Only love Endures Even the beast of change That threatens everything Can be tamed With love Only when the light of a new day Chases away the night Am I able to see more clearly Am I able to continue my journey With hope in my head I continue on With love in my heart I survive

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WALKING FORWARD INTO THE PAST Looking behind The dramas seemed too immense To deal with Much less survive But we did Everything always Worked itself out Not always how we wanted But always For the best The imagined demise Of our happiness Hung over each crisis Sure to strike But we always escaped Tomorrow’s troubles Are best survived Remembering yesterday's Walking forward Into the past

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WE ARE ENOUGH When is enough Enough How much Must we have To be satisfied How many Of whatever we desire Will make us happy Can satisfaction Or happiness Be bought Collected Stored away For when we need it Must we go through this life Believing we always need Something Someplace Someone Different Must we always Ask more of this world Until there is nothing left To want Until there is nothing left At all We may already be complete The treasures we search for Already possessed Hidden just below Everything we’ve been taught To be true Do not our greatest joys Show themselves Without adornment Naked in their simplicity Surrounded not by things But by love Consider this Our search for more May ultimately lead us To a search for less A journey Away from what we have Towards who we are A conversation With the world That tells us We are enough

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WE LOSE OUR SELF IN THE DARKNESS The blue road fades off Into the distance As the sun sets Against an azure sky Embracing the world Like a forgotten lover Darkness falls Reminding us The day is gone Disappearing With our fears In its jagged arms Night falls Settling into a comfort That holds our life In an embrace of knowing The shadows Disguise themselves As friends Beckoning us closer Opening our hearts To an ancient mystery That remains unseen We become one Blinded by passion We stumble Seduced by the darkness We lose our self

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WHAT MAKES YOU OLD No matter your age Growing old is a choice How you see yourself In the world Guides your vision How you experience the world In yourself Shapes your destiny What you look forward to Keeps your life moving ahead Because your future is alive Taking you beyond the past Keeping track of your losses Adds years to how you see yourself Because your past becomes heavy Smothering your future What makes you old Is choosing to replace hope With regret

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WHAT WE DON'T FEED We rarely realize How many gifts In our life We ignore How many things We overlook In our daily quest To get what we want We are often blind To those blessings That matter most But fail to see How many friendships Have shriveled Because we were too busy To feed them How many loves Were lost Because we were too selfish To give our own love away How many days Have we squandered Sacrificing our health In pursuit of our pleasure How many dreams Have we failed to grasp Because we were too absorbed To see a helping hand All of the things We take for granted Come back to haunt us When they are gone Reminding us That we are less Without them That we failed ourselves There are times During every day When we can pause To take our inventory Who around us Do we neglect Who gets lost In the bustle of our lives

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Where does our energy Really need to go To ensure real abundance Not empty fulfillment How can we treat our bodies With the same attention That we lavish Upon our egos If we live long enough The lesson we will learn Will be a simple one So pay attention Be wary Of what you feed in your life Some need food to live Others feed on you What we don’t feed Will die What we do Won't

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WHAT YOU MISS It’s impossible To keep track Of the number of things We miss each And every day How many times Has a sunrise inspired you Or have you searched for a perch To view the last light Of a dying day There is a chorus Of songbirds Even in the midst Of the busiest cities That sing to us Too many melodies Are lost Searching for rhythms To match the beat Of our many moods We don’t see The kind gesture Happening right next to us Because we are distracted By our technology Opportunities to help Or guide Or just listen Are forever lost In self absorption The laughter that connects One person to another Never happens When we are too busy To even smile Maybe the greatest loss Is being too driven To recognize The many times We are shown love Yet when we slow down Not our gait But our mind Our vision improves We are more

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Distracted lives Are always outside the moment Blinding us to the many things That could sustain us If we would only see them Dim the light Take a deep breath Relax where you are Enhance life by what you see Not diminish it by what you miss

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WHEN I AM GONE My family’s love The reasons they gave My heart to beat While forgiving mine When it turned cold The warmth of friendship The many times It kept me company When I was far away Alone with myself The beauty of the world Its wondrous gifts And the pleasures My senses enjoyed Throughout it all The most insignificant of things To accomplish life Done throughout the day Without thought Or attention Other countless joys That escape my mind But made me Who I was Who I wished to be All of these things Great and small Are the blessings I will miss When I am gone

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WHEN I WONDER Most days are a puzzlement A mysterious collection Of happenings Watching it all unfold Around me Leaves me perplexed I can't help but ask myself Who is in charge Of this mess Purposeless and random I struggle to find order In it all Must everything make sense Have a reason to be Need understanding Or is The Grand Design Meant to unfold Despite me Is there a connection I cannot fathom Despite my efforts Is there a light shining On everything That I am too blind to see Must I trust in the unknown Have faith It will all work itself out Should I surrender My need to control To a Higher Power Or should I continue To search for meaning To question what I see Acceptance does not come easy A difficult lesson Always needing to be re-taught Life does not come easy Sometimes only giving up its secrets When I wonder

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WHEN THE LIGHT BEGINS TO FADE The shadows grow longer Against the hillside Highlighting the crevices Unnoticed during midday A gift of character The air settles Into a softer silence Punctuated by the chorus Of faraway songbirds A gift of attention The flowers close After the day’s celebration Perfuming the world In joyous blooming A gift of rest When the light begins to fade The pace of everything slows Becoming more reflective Soulful in its simplicity A gift of life

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WHEN THE WINGED HORSE KNOCKS The ego sits alone On its throne Of righteousness Facing a mirror In a room of mirrors It sees only itself Protected Within a castle of pain Surrounded by a moat of illusion Always hungry It feeds constantly On the judgment of others Never wrong It can afford the luxury Of foolishness A master of disguise It changes shape constantly To avoid detection When caught It always escapes In a cart pulled by blame Faultless It has a thousand fingers Pointing at others Its mortal enemy Is dressed in a white robe Of humility She rides A winged horse Named Truth Brandishing a sword Forged in the fire Of love She shatters the mirror Forcing the ego To see beyond itself Their battles are epic Never ending Fought over lifetimes When their combat rages The earth shakes Beneath our feet

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We often stumble and fall But getting back up Makes us stronger Giving us the ability To see life clearly Through the eyes of another When the winged horse knocks On the castle door Let her in

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WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN When we were children The summer day passed But slowly As it should Days lingered Long and spacious Free Undivided Seamless Time enough To fight off Dragons In far off Lands Or find them Dancing In the clouds With elephants And unicorns Time enough To sail The Seven Seas In cardboard ships As pirates Time enough To fly Spaceships Of fallen Twigs Time enough To have tea Parties With restless Cats Time enough To do all The things Only a child's imagination Can do Time enough To explore To Discover To Wonder Always in awe

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Time enough To do Everything Or Nothing at all When every Moment Is an adventure It is all the same Bliss When we were children

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WHEN WILL I FORGIVE When the ground beneath my feet Begins to tremble And my sense of balance Is lost and confused Which way will I fall When the sky above me Fills with clouds And my days Turn dark How will I see When my garden Stops growing And my pain Is a hunger What will I eat When my heart Starts to break And my aloneness Consumes me Who will I love When my breath Becomes shallow And my life Slips away When will I forgive

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WHERE IS MY CONTROL I proclaim Everyday should be sunny Not too hot The clouds in the sky For decorative purposes only Rainy days spite me Wind and cold Make fun of my demands Taunting me Egging me on Still I persist In trying to make the world Fall in line Do my bidding Comply with my wishes Is it really that difficult To listen To do as I say To follow my directions To make me happy Where is the respect I deserve When all I hear and see Is thunder and lightning Storms and hurricanes When I trudge through the snow My blood boils My resentments grow I seethe with contempt For everything How loud must I shout out My desires My orders Where is my power Where is my control

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WHERE YOU BELONG Swallowed up by size In this pompous age We drown in the obvious Our vision scans the far horizon Or glowing screen Seeing only the enormity Of this world Viewing our life Through the lens of the masses Overwhelmed by immensity Distracted by technology We are blinded We forget to notice The small miracles of life Intimate details of the world That combine to make it beautiful The flowers The evening light The song of the wren The play of clouds in the sky Step outside Escape Get away to the forests Walk in the meadows Sit by the streams Put away the distractions Be silent and observe Beauty will surround you Filling your spirit Opening your heart Taking you away From the needless excesses Of the soulless world Bringing you back home Where you belong

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WHO HOLDS YOU CLOSE Who holds you close When you keep the world A heart beat away From love There are times When you catch your heart Just before falling into the embrace of another The conversation You have with yourself Reminds you to hold onto the pain Because it is something you know You don’t know How to hold onto love But you know how to hold onto hurt It is more familiar Sometimes life Gets the best Of the best Within us Trust your heart Let go of your pain Be your best Even when you can't

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WONDER In this moment As I witness The pure joy Of birds frolicking In the sky It beckons me To examine my own Sense of wonder Somewhere out there Is an in here Where the conversation Begins to turn Away from want Towards an inner knowing Of what is true And enduring When I focus my gaze Deep enough Within To find that Knowing I, too, will frolic Above those below Who look up at me And wonder Then My spirit will soar Above the din of the world And embrace My own joyous Flight

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WOULD YOU RECOGNIZE TRUTH IN A CROWD Would you recognize truth In a crowd Surrounded by the distractions Surrounded by the noise Of other people's opinions Would their experiences become yours Kidnapping your truth Holding it for a ransom Of acceptance Is it better to belong than it is to be true To yourself Than it is to be honest With others Is it better to join When your soul wants to lead When your voice sings a song Only you can hear Spirit is always whispering In your ear Asking you to sit When those around you stand Be alone with your thoughts Listen to your song Get away from the crowd Move closer to yourself Recognize the truth in you

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WRESTLING WITH MYSELF Everything is a choice Even choosing to believe that Or not believe that Is a choice How I respond To a crisis Or a challenge Is a choice What I think And every thought That controls me Is a choice What I believe And who I trust To guide me Is a choice Whether I hate Or choose kindness To share with the world Is a choice How much to take From others Or give to others Is a choice When to quit And when to Keep going Is a choice Even accidents Or dumb luck Are the consequences Of a choice Searching for the answers To which choices I should make Is a constant struggle When everything is a choice Learning to choose wisely Creates a better life Creates a better world I can choose to recognize The power of my choices Or I can choose not to Abandoning my life to fate

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When I grapple With all the choices before me I am ultimately just Wrestling with myself