by Susan Penn

What are we practicing?

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As leaders, we move through our days

hardly aware of the reality that below

the surface we are practicing one of

two things: linking or ranking.

Both are natural components of being

human and linked to early brain

development. Ranking was developed

to help us clarify “leader of pack” issues

as well as help us survive in that pack

and social order. Linking, on the other

hand, allows us to nurture connection

within groups and with individuals, and

is critical to survival of the species, as it

relates to the development of bonds,

connections and relationships within

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groups, which insure survival as well as

serving altruistic functions which

advance the species.

Within the individual, ranking and

linking are occurring continually,

however, often not in balance.

Consider the effects on engagement

and retention in an organization with a

CEO who feels she is in competition

and/or must continually prove herself

even within groups where she clearly is

at the top of the food chain.

This was the case with Stephanie, a

CEO of a national, mid-sized, growing

organization. Although Stephanie

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possessed impressive credentials (she had

graduated from a top university, had an

established career in medicine and was

now at the helm of a profitable, growing

company) she stated that she often felt

like an imposter, and that she was not

embodying her role as the leader of the

organization. As we discussed this issue

along with her desire to develop more

credibility and trust as a leader, Stephanie

reported that she approached every

interaction as a competition, and as a

challenge to her self-worth. The ranking

function had run amok.

Ranking and Linking are always with us: Ranking is the practice of defining our place in a social group or hierarchy. To be focused on ranking is to be focused on the perception of who has the most power and influence in a given situation. If you are ranking focused, you may be driven by competition in regards to intelligence, appearance, performance, title, salary, memberships, or and any criteria held as valuable by you or your social/professional group. Unconscious ranking can translate to evaluations of self-worth and value (or lack of) based on these and other characteristics.

Linking: A Vital Leadership Practice

Explore how the practice of “linking” can radically transform and impact the trust, credibility and effectiveness of leaders and their teams.

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Ranking and Linking are not

inherently negative or

positive. For instance, a

leader can use rank in the

betterment of the individuals

who report to him and the

organization, and gain trust

and respect in the process.

Conversely, individuals may

attempt to link in order to

pursue their own agendas

and in pursuit of their own

goals and purposes and will

be perceived as

manipulative and insincere.

Linking with the intent to

connect, hear, empathize,

coach and understand will

result in connection, job

satisfaction, and an

increasing ability to build

credibility as well as trusting

and authentic relationships

which will sustain long after

business objectives have

been met.

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For Stephanie, ranking was not

connected to the reality of her position

or her substantial accomplishments. It

was an internal dialogue that in any

given circumstance either devalued

her or others. Through coaching,

Stephanie began to see how ranking

had essentially compensated for the

lack of linking in her life and how

vying for worth in her family was a

pattern that was repeating itself. This

compensation sabotaged her ability to

build meaningful relationships in and

outside of work.

Elaine N Aron, Phd states, “Much of

what we do is compare ourselves to

others and strive for respect, influence

and power. “ However, living life in a

constant state of comparing and

competition (ranking) has a substantial

impact on interactions and

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relationships. For instance, because this

CEO found it difficult to “link” or

connect with her reports, she often

defaulted to “ranking” based control and

command behaviors. Far from the

desired result, failing to make someone

do something you need them to do

without harsh methods results in a drop

in rank. This, of course, undermined

her confidence and the perception

others had of her as a trustworthy and

capable leader. Equally as important, her

team felt unsafe to provide open, honest

feedback, a huge blind spot for any

CEO.

At first Stephanie believed linking was

risky business and could be perceived as

weakness. Individuals who weigh more

heavily on the ranking side often believe

that focusing on relationship takes too

much time and involves loss of control.

However, as Brene Brown states,

We are always practicing something…

LINKING: A VITAL LEADERSHIP PRACTICE

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Linking is the

practice of

extending to others

while being

grounded in what

you really care

about.

“Connection is the

energy between

people when they

feel seen, heard,

and valued; when

they can give and

receive without

judgment, and

when they derive

sustenance and

strength from

relationship.” (Brene

Brown)

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of

innovation, creation and change.”

Fortunately, she was committed and was

willing to step out of her comfort zone

and began to “organize” herself in a

different way. We focused on small

changes, for instance, asking questions

rather than telling, abstaining from

providing immediate solutions when

meeting with individuals who were more

than capable of providing valuable input.

She replaced her need to be the expert

and the compulsion to prove herself (a

ranking function) in any given

conversation or circumstance, with the

consciously established practice of inquiry,

listening, and a partnered approach

towards problem solving and goal setting.

Although it felt unnatural to her initially,

she was well on her way to adding the

practice of “linking” to her toolbox of

leadership behaviors. She noted that when

she focused on linking with team

members, although uncomfortable and

new, she began to see others and herself in

a less judgmental light, and with more

clarity. This brought more awareness of

what fueled her behaviors, namely, the

belief that she must do everything on her

own, and that “no one really cares as

much as I do.” A shift at this level changes

schema, frees up energy and leads to more

effective leadership based actions.

As a leader, ranking and linking go hand

in hand. Clearly, this CEO was in

charge of the organization’s outcomes

and needed to make decisions that only

she could make. However, she is now

building confidence in her ability to

practice both in the process of leading

the organization. The team who

through a 360 assessment reported that

“she would be happier if she could do

everything by herself,” are beginning to

feel like a valued part of the

organization.

Linking practices involve active

listening, openness, suspending of

criticism and judgment, and an open

mind, heart and will. It is the practice

of extending to others while being

grounded in your values and what you

care about. When the desire to

understand is stronger than the desire

to be understood, linking is not only

taking place, it has the potential to

completely shift conversations and

outcomes.

Linking trumps ranking in regards to

biological and psychological

importance, and as a vital leadership

practice. As leaders we have the

capacity to become conscious of where

we are coming from and make choices

that will affect people and outcomes in

our lives and organizations.

LINKING: A VITAL LEADERSHIP PRACTICE REINVENTURE CONSULTING

Our practices define who and what we are as

leaders and organizations

Most organizations need more linking and less ranking. Linking

actually tempers and transforms ranking, which when out of balance

has negative affects both to the person and the organization. Think

about the best leaders in your life. Think about the individuals you look

forward to seeing and being with every day. In most cases, it is

individuals who lean towards ranking that are our least satisfying

relationships.

As leaders, we can all learn to become conscious about what is going

on in our head and what we are thinking about most of the time.

Getting clear on which function, linking or ranking, is predominant at

any given time can result in our being in a place of choice, and give

us the power to change the dynamic and outcome of interactions,

relationships and outcomes.