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Life Success For Students With LearningDisabilities: A Parent's Guide

By: Marshall H. Raskind and Roberta J. Goldberg (2005)

Words from LD OnLine:

LD OnLine is proud to present a guide to parents on how to help their children succeed t it led LifeSuccess for Students with Learning Disabilities: A Parent's Guide. It was developed by the Frost igCenter and based on more than twenty years of ground-breaking research on the lives of childrenand adults with learning disabilit ies. This is of fered to you as part of LD OnLine's ef forts to bringyou the latest research to help you raise your children with learning disabilit ies.

Over forty students were studied over their lifet ime; when they entered the Frost ig Center, whenthey lef t , ten years af ter graduat ion, and twenty years af ter graduat ion. Researchers rated thestudent 's lives object ively through interviews and studying public records. They surveyedoutcomes such as years of school completed and employment results. They listened carefully towhat the students said during face to face interviews. All of this data was analyzed to determinewhat it actually takes for people with learning disabilit ies to succeed.

Learn how to help your children develop the six success at t ributes that were found to reallymatter; self awareness, proact ivity, perseverance, goal set t ing, using support systems, andemotional coping strategies. These at t ributes were found to be more important than IQ andgrades.

This guide is based on over 20 years of research conducted by the Frost ig Center in Pasadena,California. The research traced the lives of individuals with learning disabilit ies in an at tempt toident ify factors that predicted successful life outcomes. The guide has been developed by Dr.Marshall H. Raskind, Dr. Roberta J. Goldberg, along with research associates Dr. Eleanor L. Higginsand Dr. Kenneth L. Herman.

The authors express their deepest grat itude to the Lund Foundat ion for its generous support inthe development and product ion of this guide. Sincere appreciat ion also goes to the part icipants inthe Frost ig longitudinal research on success at t ributes, who openly shared their stories - both theirstruggles and their t riumphs. Addit ionally, the authors would like to thank the Albert and ElaineBorchard Foundat ion for funding the research that led to the ident if icat ion of the successattributes.

We hope that this guide will help parents as they work with their children to reach their full

potent ial and become competent, content, and independent adults who live sat isfying lives.

Introduction

"I never thought I would get very far in life. But look at me now. I didn't do too bad, didI?"

This comment was made by Vanessa, a 35-year-old family therapist with a learning disability. As anadult , Vanessa has a sat isfying career, enjoys a network of caring friends, and is proud of heraccomplishments. One might say that Vanessa is "successful." However, it wasn't always that way.As a result of her learning disability, the road to adulthood was paved with years of academicdif f icult ies, problems with social relat ions, and low self -esteem.

Vanessa's parents also struggled with her learning disability ever since she was f irst diagnosed inthe second grade. They were devastated to discover that their daughter might encounterconsiderable dif f icult ies learning to read and write, and develop the social and emot ional problemsoften associated with learning disabilit ies in childhood and adolescence. They navigated throughthe pain of Vanessa's school failure, the search for the right professionals to conductassessments and provide instruct ional and psychological support , endless school meet ings toclarify services, and the most dif f icult task of all -- helping Vanessa grow up with a posit ive self -image in spite of her learning disability. In this process, like the millions of other parents raisingchildren with learning disabilit ies, Vanessa's parents became acutely aware that her learningdisability would not go away, but was a life-long condit ion that would cont inue to af fect manyspheres of her life.

Even as an adult , Vanessa faces challenges in reading and writ ing, maintaining friendships, and, att imes, feeling good about herself . Yet despite these struggles, she has managed to achieveoutward success and lives a personally sat isfying and rewarding life. How did this happen? Why dosome people with learning disabilit ies succeed like Vanessa, while others f ind lit t le rewardpersonally, socially, or f inancially? Why do some individuals f ind success, while it eludes others?

The purpose of this guide is to provide answers to these and related quest ions for parents raisingchildren with learning disabilit ies. The informat ion presented here is based upon a 20-year studytracing the lives of individuals with learning disabilit ies f rom childhood into adulthood in an at temptto ident ify individual characterist ics and life experiences that lead to successful life outcomes. The

guide also draws upon the work of other researchers1 who have ident if ied factors that contributeto success. We hope that the following pages will help parents as they work with their children toreach their full potent ial and become competent, content, and independent adults who livesat isfying lives. But f irst , it is important to def ine what we mean by "success."

What is success?

Success is not easy to def ine. It means dif ferent things to dif ferent people. In addit ion, it maymean something dif ferent at dif ferent t imes in a person's life. However, although views of successmay dif fer, there appear to be a number of things that most people include when they think ofsuccess. These include good friends, posit ive family relat ions, being loved, self -approval, jobsat isfact ion, physical and mental health, f inancial comfort , spiritual contentment, and an overallsense of meaning in one's life. Of course, dif ferent individuals may place lesser or greater emphasison these various components of success.

How do children with learning disabilities become successful adults?

Children with learning disabilit ies grow up to be adults with learning disabilit ies. That is, many of thedif f icult ies experienced in childhood cont inue into and through adulthood. Nevertheless, someindividuals with learning disabilit ies follow a life path that leads them to success, becomingproduct ive members of society and living sat isfying and rewarding lives. Others f ind lit t le more thancont inued "failure," and are barely able to "keep their heads above water" emot ionally, socially, orf inancially. Why, despite similar backgrounds and learning problems, does one individual end upwith a rewarding career, long-term friendships, and f inancial stability, yet another, a life ofloneliness, isolat ion, and f inancial stress? Learning disabilit ies research has provided some answersto this quest ion.

Our research at the Frost ig Center,2 as well as several major studies by others,3 has focused onident ifying which factors contribute to success for individuals with learning disabilit ies. Results f romthese projects point to the importance of a set of personal characterist ics, at t itudes, andbehaviors that can help lead persons with learning disabilit ies to successful life outcomes. Bytracing the lives of individuals with learning disabilit ies throughout the lifespan, these studies haverevealed a number of "success at t ributes" that guide an individual to either posit ive or negat iveadult outcomes.

What are the success attributes?

Our 20-year study, in part icular, highlighted the importance of six success at t ributes for individualswith learning disabilit ies. These success at t ributes included: self -awareness, proact ivity,perseverance, goal-set t ing, the presence and use of ef fect ive support systems, and emot ionalcoping strategies. It is important to emphasize that not every successful individual possesses eachof these at t ributes, and some attributes may be present to a greater or lesser degree. Similarly,persons who might be considered "unsuccessful" may nevertheless possess some of the successattributes, again, to a lesser or greater degree. What it does mean is that successful persons withlearning disabilit ies are much more likely to have these characterist ics than unsuccessfulindividuals. It is our hope that, by helping parents understand these success at t ributes, they will bebetter prepared to work with and guide their children toward sat isfying and rewarding lives. It is also

better prepared to work with and guide their children toward sat isfying and rewarding lives. It is alsoimportant to keep in mind that having these at t ributes does not guarantee success. Rather, itincreases the chances of achieving a fulf illing and successful life. It is interest ing to note that ourresearch indicates that these characterist ics may have a greater inf luence on success than evensuch factors as academic achievement, gender, socio-economic status, ethnicity, and even

intelligence quot ient (IQ).4

Each of the success at t ributes is discussed in the following pages. Quotes f rom successful adultswith learning disabilit ies are used to help explain each at t ribute f rom the viewpoint of individualswho live with learning disabilit ies.

Self-awareness

"As I said, I have dyslexia. I have never not had dyslexia, so it always has, andalways will, affect my life. I don't know what it's like not to have dyslexia. I don't knowthat I want to do life over again without it. It's part of me. It will hinder me, as it has,and it will push me into places where I never would have gone."--Thirty-three-year-old male

Successful people with learning disabilit ies are aware of the types of problems they have, includingacademic problems like reading and math, academic-related problems such as at tent ional ororganizat ional dif f icult ies, and non-academic dif f icult ies such as motor def icits or emot ional/behavioral problems. They are open and specif ic about their dif f icult ies and understand how theyaffect their lives. Most important, these individuals have the ability to compartmentalize theirdisability. That is, they are able to see their learning dif f icult ies as only one aspect of themselves.Although they are well aware of their learning limitat ions, they are not overly def ined by them. Asone successful individual states:

"You know, everybody comes with a package. And yeah, there are things that I amgood at and things that I am not so good at. Some of my limitations are reading andwriting. But boy, when it comes to putting things together, reading plans, and chasingdown problems, those are some talents, some skills that I was born with…I carved adifferent path and my whole life has been that way."

Successful individuals with learning disabilit ies recognize their talents along with accept ing theirlimitat ions. This idea is expressed part icularly well by one adult who stresses, "We all learndif ferent ly; we all have strengths and weaknesses."

Another adult with a learning disability shares, "It 's st ill there and I compensate…I think the

problems that I had were no dif ferent than anybody else who is conscious of their weaknesses,and then some of their strengths. Some people are not conscious at all."

In addit ion to recognizing their strengths, weaknesses, and special talents, successful adults withlearning disabilit ies are also able to f ind jobs that provide the best f it or "match" with their abilit ies.For example, an individual with severe reading problems, but except ional skills in woodworkingmight f ind a successful career in cabinet making rather than as a copy editor. A person with mathdef icits, but excellent writ ing abilit ies might shy away from a career in account ing, yet f ind successin journalism. And, the individual with poor reading and writ ing, but strong oral language skills mightpursue sales and avoid jobs requiring substant ial writ ten language abilit ies.

Unsuccessful people with learning disabilit ies, on the other hand, of ten fail to recognize both theirstrengths and limitat ions, accept their dif f icult ies, compartmentalize their learning disability, andf ind employment that provides the best f it for their abilit ies.

Proactivity

Successful adults with learning disabilit ies are generally act ively engaged in the world around them-- polit ically, economically, and socially. They part icipate in community act ivit ies and take an act iverole in their families, neighborhoods, and friendship groups. Addit ionally, they of ten step intoleadership roles at work, in the community, and in social and family set t ings.

Not surprisingly, therefore, successful persons with learning disabilit ies also believe that they havethe power to control their own dest iny and af fect the outcome of their lives. In talking about howhe took charge of his college experience, one successful adult remarks:

"I actually didn't take classes as much as I took professors. The way I got throughcollege was I looked at the classes I was interested in and I was over at theprofessors' office times telling them I'm going to need extra time; give me the ability totake the written exam orally. There are a bunch of exceptions and I just listed themout for these people."

This quote demonstrates the kind of creat ive self -advocacy and init iat ive we frequent ly observedin successful adults. In contrast , unsuccessful individuals tend merely to respond to events and arepassive.

Successful persons with learning disabilit ies also show the ability to make decisions and act uponthose decisions. Addit ionally, they assume responsibility for their act ions and result ing outcomes.In talking about how his shyness interfered with t rying to meet a girl, one successful adult shares:

"I looked at that lesson and said, 'OK, you blew it that time. What are you going to do?How are you going to overcome that situation?' So I systematically started working ongetting over my shyness…And last spring…"

When things don't work out, successful individuals generally take responsibility for the outcomeand do not blame others. Comment ing on his career, the same individual expresses commitment toact ion, "Anything I'm going to do, I'm going to give it my all. Otherwise I'm not going to touch it ."

A willingness to consult with others while making decisions is also characterist ic of successfulpeople with learning disabilit ies. In that connect ion, they also appear to be f lexible in consideringand weighing opt ions. For instance, when faced with a career-ending knee surgery, one successfulathlete was able to smoothly shif t her career focus to a pottery business. Another individualwhose learning disability prevented him from passing required college courses, researched andtransferred to a university that did not require those courses for graduat ion.

In contrast , unsuccessful individuals of ten do not recognize that situat ions can be altered, or thatmult iple solut ions may exist . Instead, they are either passive, making no decision, or conversely,st ick rigidly to a simplist ic, rule-based decision even if it ult imately fails. Successful individuals, onthe other hand, take responsibility for both the posit ive and negat ive outcomes of their decisionsand act ions. For example, one former student comment ing on his success stated:

"I think that I worked hard and I made choices instead of letting things happen. I meanstuff that I haven't actively gone and taken care of are the only things that I'm not assatisfied with. The stuff that I've gone and taken care of, I'm very happy with."

Perseverance

Many persons with learning disabilit ies show great perseverance and keep pursuing their chosenpath despite dif f icult ies. They of ten describe themselves in such terms as "I am not a quit ter," and"I never give up." However, successful individuals demonstrate an addit ional important ability --knowing when to quit . Although they rarely give up on a general goal, depending on the situat ion,they may change the way they go about achieving it , thereby improving their chances for success.In other words, af ter repeated failure, these individuals are able to see and pursue alternat ivestrategies for reaching their goal, or know when the goal itself might have to be modif ied. Oftenthey try several strategies unt il they f ind one that works. One successful adult states, "Once I havea failure, I can't just dwell on that failure and restrict myself for the rest of my life. I'll do somethingelse." In contrast , unsuccessful individuals are typically not f lexible and of ten appear to "beat theirheads against the wall," failing to recognize when it is t ime to reevaluate their strategies, or thegoal itself .

Successful persons with learning disabilit ies appear to learn f rom their hardships makingstatements such as "I have failed many t imes, but I am not a failure. I have learned to succeed frommy failures." In addit ion, successful people seem to agree that dif f icult situat ions are necessary forlearning. In comparison, unsuccessful individuals with learning disabilit ies are of ten overwhelmed byadversity, back away from challenges, and give up much more easily and quickly than successfulpeers.

Goal-setting

Successful individuals set goals that are specif ic, yet f lexible so that they can be changed to adjustto specif ic circumstances and situat ions. These goals cover a number of areas includingeducat ion, employment, family, spiritual and personal development. In addit ion, the goals ofsuccessful persons with learning disabilit ies include a strategy to reach their goals. That is, theyhave an understanding of the step-by-step process for obtaining goals. One successful adultpursuing a career in the entertainment f ield states:

"I always look at every move, like this particular move doing the video, as a steppingstone for the next project. That's how I'm looking at it. As I said, the area I really wantto move into is, I want to direct."

Successful people also appear to have goals that are realist ic and at tainable.

"I'll tell you something. I'm very realistic in terms of what I know I can do, what Ipossibly can do, and what I cannot do. That's why I knew right off the bat that I wasnot going to be a doctor."-- Thirty-one-year-old male

Many successful people with learning disabilit ies set at least tentat ive goals in adolescence, whichprovide direct ion and meaning to their lives. A successful adult t rained as a social worker says:

"When I was in late high school, I knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. I wasgiven the opportunity to babysit and in the twelfth grade I worked at a day camp. I justdiscovered that I was interested in children and that this may turn out to be aprofession. So there was kind of a break and something to shoot for; some sort ofself-direction."

While successful individuals with learning disabilit ies have concrete, realist ic, and at tainable goals,unsuccessful individuals of ten have vague, unrealist ic, or grandiose goals that are not in line withtheir strengths, weaknesses, or special abilit ies. For example, one individual having extremeproblems with eye-hand coordinat ion and spat ial relat ions aspired to be an airline pilot , whileanother with severe reading, writ ing, and organizat ion dif f icult ies wanted to become an execut ivesecretary. Not surprisingly, both were unsuccessful at their at tempts to reach these goals andexperienced frustrat ion and stress as a result .

Presence & use of effective support systems

Both successful and unsuccessful individuals with learning disabilit ies receive some form ofsupport and assistance from others over the course of their lives. Guidance, support , andencouragement come from family members, f riends, mentors, teachers, therapists, and co-workers. However, as successful individuals move into adulthood, they at tempt to reduce theirdependence on others. In fact , in many instances they are able to switch roles with people whohad provided them with support in the past, f inding themselves assist ing and encouraging thosewho once helped them. In contrast , unsuccessful persons with learning disabilit ies f requent ly areunable to "cut the cord" as they transit ion into adulthood and end up remaining highly dependenton others.

The people who have provided support to successful individuals with learning disabilit ies generallyheld clear and realist ic expectat ions regarding life goals and outcomes, guiding them to ident ifyand achieve realist ic goals without being harsh or crit ical. They were also able to help them changedirect ions in at tempt ing to achieve goals, or modify the goals, if necessary. They were consistentand steadfast in their funct ioning as sounding boards for reality test ing. A successful adult withlearning disabilit ies describes the support f rom a workplace mentor:

"I guess you could say he rescued me. I was working at this place and goingnowhere. Probably getting canned and I only had a couple of more months of workand he was able to take me out of the division I was in and put me back working onminicomputers. That made me very happy. He taught me a new programminglanguage to work in and really helped me out. He's one of the reasons I own thisplace."

Successful individuals with learning disabilit ies also act ively seek the support of others. They don'tsimply wait for someone to come to their aid when they need assistance. Rather, they take theinit iat ive to get help. Furthermore, they are willing to accept help when it is of fered. By contrast ,unsuccessful individuals are not as likely to act ively seek support or accept it when of fered.

Emotional coping strategies

All people with learning disabilit ies experience stress in their lives as a result of living with learningproblems. Such stress can be experienced in a variety of set t ings -- school, work, home, and sociallife. In some cases, the stress can be so signif icant that it leads to psychological dif f icult ies such asanxiety and depression.

However, although all persons with learning disabilit ies may experience disability-related stress,successful individuals appear to have developed ef fect ive means of reducing and coping withstress, f rustrat ion, and the emot ional aspects of their learning disabilit ies. In part icular, thereappear to be three components of successful emot ional coping:

Awareness of the situat ions that t rigger stress;

Recognit ion of developing stress;

Availability/access to and use of coping strategies.

For example, a successful adult with learning disabilit ies in our study manages her anxiety at tacksby recognizing that reading aloud in a group triggers anxiety, physical symptoms such as rapidbreathing are signs of stress, and slow deep breathing reduces her anxiety.

Successful individuals have developed strategies for reducing stress and avoiding result ingpsychological dif f icult ies. Such strategies include seeking counseling, asking others to dounmanageable tasks on the job, changing act ivit ies periodically so stress does not build up,expressing feelings, assert ing oneself , ut ilizing peer support and encouragement, learning to askfor help, planning ahead for dif f icult situat ions, keeping away from negat ive or crit ical persons,obtaining medicat ion if necessary, working out dif ferences with f riends and family, and sharing withsympathet ic family members.

Whereas recognizing triggers and using coping strategies helps successful individuals with learningdisabilit ies cope, unsuccessful persons with learning disabilit ies report being blindsided by eventsthat cause stress. When overly stressed or emot ionally wrought, they have great dif f iculty thinkingof potent ial resources -- both internal and external -- to help them reduce stress and regainstability.

How can a child develop success attributes?

Research has shown that self -awareness, proact ivity, perseverance, goal-set t ing, the presenceand use of ef fect ive support systems, and emot ional coping strategies help lead persons withlearning disabilit ies to success. However, to date no research tells us exact ly how to teach these

attributes. Yet, research does suggest a number of key components and areas that need to beconsidered in fostering success at t ributes in children with learning disabilit ies. The followingsect ion discusses these components and areas, and of fers recommendat ions for how to developsuccess at t ributes. In reading the following pages, please keep in mind that the specif ic approachto developing success at t ributes is dependent upon the age, abilit ies, experience, interests, andliving environment of a given child.

Before reading the following recommendat ions for how to develop the success at t ributes, youmay want to take a moment and think about whether your child "possesses" them. Although thereare no specif ic tests or scient if ic procedures for determining the presence of the at t ributes in yourchild, your response to the statements in the boxes below may give a general indicat ion. You mayalso want to consider informat ion from other people who know your child (teachers, familymembers, counselors, etc.) in responding to these statements.

Self-awareness

My child…

Is aware of his/her academic strengths

Is aware of his/her academic weaknesses

Is aware of his/her non-academic strengths

Is aware of his/her non-academic weaknesses

Is aware of his/her special talents and abilit ies

Is aware of his/her feelings, opinions, and values

Is able to match act ivit ies to strengths

Understands his/her specif ic learning disability

Accepts his/her learning disability

Is able to "compartmentalize"

Uses strategies to work around the learning disability

Research suggests that self -awareness is made up of a number of components. Thesecomponents must be addressed in any ef fort to enhance the self -awareness of children withlearning disabilit ies. Note they deal with both general self -awareness and awareness relatedspecif ically to the learning disability.

General self-awareness

In order to develop self -awareness, persons with learning disabilit ies need to:

Understand what self -awareness is and its importance;

Develop awareness of personal strengths, weaknesses, and talents in various sett ings(not only school);

Gain awareness of their feelings, opinions, and personal values and how they relate tothose of others;

Develop their own def init ion of success;

Develop "niche-picking skills" (matching their abilit ies to specif ic set t ings).

Learning disability awareness

In order to develop self -awareness, persons with learning disabilit ies need to:

Develop an understanding of their specif ic learning disability and how it may af fect theirlife;

Develop awareness of successful coping strategies to compensate for their learningdisability;

Learn to accept and compartmentalize their learning disability.

Far too of ten, the development of self -awareness focuses almost ent irely on academicperformance at school. However, in order to gain the highest level of self -awareness andacceptance, an individual must understand his or her strengths, weaknesses, special talents,desires, fears, and beliefs in a number of areas. These include:

Psychological/emot ional;

Physical;

Social;

Educat ional;

Communicat ive;

Philosophical (personal values, ethics).

General act ivit ies for fostering self -awareness:

Work with your child to develop and discuss lists of his or her individual strengths,weaknesses, and special talents or interests. Consider all areas, not just school-related.

Use the words "strength," "weakness," "limitat ions," and "special talents" to describe thebehavior of all members of your family.

Arrange for your child to talk to adults with learning disabilit ies about their experiences --both struggles and triumphs. If you have a learning disability yourself , share your ownfeelings, experiences, and thoughts.

Help your child choose potent ial jobs and careers that best match his or her abilit ies anddiscuss relevant choices.

Proactivity

My child…

Part icipates in classroom and extra-curricular social act ivit ies

Makes decisions and acts upon those decisions

Understands the advantages/disadvantages of making certain decisions

Recognizes when a decision needs to be made

Knows how to evaluate decisions

Takes responsibility for his/her act ions

Feels he/she has control over his/her world

Is assert ive and stands up for him/herself

Is self -conf ident

There is life beyond school for children with learning disabilit ies. While learning to be proact ive ineducat ional pursuits is important, persons with learning disabilit ies also need to develop theattribute of proact ivity for social, employment, interpersonal, familial, and recreat ional set t ings.With regard to each of these sett ings, children with learning disabilit ies need to learn to:

Understand proact ivity, its importance, and benef its;

Make decisions, act upon those decisions, and evaluate their decisions;

Understand the advantages and disadvantages of making certain decisions and takeresponsibility for their act ions;

Act as self -advocates and be assert ive while engaging in the world;

Develop the self -conf idence to take risks and be f lexible.

General act ivit ies for fostering proact ivity:

Introduce problem-solving vocabulary into your family discussions. Share your personalchallenges and dilemmas and what strategies you have employed. Present your child withexamples of people facing problems, and have your child discuss or role-play act ion-orientedstrategies for resolving these dif f icult ies.

Have your child write down or discuss important decisions he or she has made, the

strategies used to make the decisions, the results of those decisions, and whether or notthe correct decision was made.

Present your child with examples of people's behavior and the specif ic outcomes result ingfrom the behavior. Then discuss the extent to which the individual had control over his or herbehaviors.

Present your child with a number of "risky" scenarios and discuss the possibleconsequences of specif ic act ions.

Perseverance

My child…

Understands the benef its of perseverance

Keeps working at academic tasks despite dif f icult ies

Keeps working at non-academic tasks despite dif f icult ies

Knows how to deal with obstacles/setbacks

Knows how to adjust to change

Knows when to quit

This success at t ribute, like all the others, needs to be developed in a number of areas beyondschool. At tent ion has to be given to fostering perseverance in the following areas: educat ional,cognit ive, physical, psychological, employment, social, leisure, and spiritual. With regard to theseareas, children with learning disabilit ies should learn to:

Understand the meaning of perseverance;

Understand the benef its of persevering and the consequences of not;

Develop strategies for dealing with obstacles, setbacks, and adjust ing to change;

Recognize that passion and desire keep one moving in the face of adversity.

General act ivit ies for fostering perseverance:

Share inspirat ional stories (tell, read, watch movies) of people who have persevered in theface of adversity.

Have your child share his or her own stories (tell, write, draw) about t imes when he or shedid not persevere and the result ing outcomes.

Have your child keep journals focusing on experiences requiring perseverance.

Have your child keep a record of when he or she is, or is not persevering.

Praise your child for persevering behavior and at t itude when playing games, learning newsports, and doing unpopular chores.

Goal-setting

My child…

Sets academic goals

Sets non-academic goals

Can priorit ize goals

Knows when a goal is realist ic

Develops plans/steps for reaching goals

Understands the relat ionship between short and long-term goals

Finds alternat ive ways to reach goals when faced with obstacles

Understands the need to work with others to reach goals

It is important to help students with learning disabilit ies develop goal-set t ing abilit ies in a number ofareas. As for several of the other success at t ributes, far too of ten, emphasis is placed exclusivelyon educat ional success. In an ef fort to assist children with learning disabilit ies achieve life success,research suggests that it is also necessary to develop goal-set t ing skills related to socialrelat ionships, employment, family, physical health, psychological health, leisure act ivit ies, f inances,independent living, and spiritual development. Specif ic focus should be placed on assist ing childrento:

Develop strategies for set t ing goals;

Def ine a goal;

Understand the benef its of goal-set t ing and the consequences of not set t ing goals;

Develop strategies for priorit izing goals, evaluat ing whether a goal is realist ic, and theact ion steps needed to reach a goal;

Develop strategies to predict and overcome obstacles, and to reevaluate and adjust goalsas needed;

Understand the need to work with others to reach goals.

General act ivit ies for developing goal-set t ing

Have your child write down a real, short-term academic goal and discuss the step-by-stepprocess for reaching it (for example, oral report on an early explorer, project on life in theAmerican colonies, term paper on Shakespeare).

Develop a realist ic t imeline for complet ion of a future school project , including typical"obstacles" such as a sports pract ice, birthday party, favorite TV show, and otherdistract ions.

Have your child set a long-term career goal and discuss the step-by-step process forreaching it . Arrange opportunit ies for your child to interview someone in that career,emphasizing goal-set t ing behavior.

Discuss successful individuals and determine the experiences, backgrounds, opportunit ies,and crit ical events that led these individuals to their success.

Present f ict ional examples of people with specif ic goals and, based on their strengths,weaknesses, and special talents, discuss whether their goals appear realist ic.

Presence & use of effective support systems

My child…

Knows when he/she needs help

Knows how to get help

Seeks help when needed

Is willing to use technological supports

Is aware of laws to help persons with learning disabilit ies

It is clear f rom research that individuals with learning disabilit ies need support in a number of areasincluding: educat ion, employment, social relat ionships, psychological health, independent living,family relat ionships, and recreat ional act ivit ies. It is crit ical that individuals with learning disabilit iesare aware of , and know how to access and ut ilize, support services in each of these areas.Part icular at tent ion should be directed at helping children with learning disabilit ies:

Understand the benef its of using support systems;

Develop strategies for f inding, accessing, ut ilizing, and maintaining support systems;

Recognize "t riggers" indicat ing that help is needed;

Learn to accept help, give help, and develop trust in others;

Understand laws that mandate support /assistance for persons with disabilit ies;

Gain awareness of learning disabilit ies organizat ions and advocacy groups;

Learn to use technological help.

General act ivit ies for developing and using support systems

Model how to ask for help in daily family interact ions.

Share stories (tell, read, see movies) about individuals who needed help f rom others, howthey got it , and the benef its of receiving it .

Seize opportunit ies to analyze examples of individuals in need of help. Discuss possiblesources and means of accessing support as well as possible outcomes with and withoutsupport (for example, news stories, TV sitcom crises, reports of f riends in need of help).

Obtain informat ion on federal laws related to individuals with disabilit ies and discuss it withyour child.

Have your child t ry out technology that might be helpful in compensat ing for his/herdif f icult ies, such as spell checkers, tape recorders, and word processors.

Emotional coping strategies

My child…

Is aware of how his/her emot ional react ions af fect behavior

Is aware of situat ions that cause stress, f rustrat ion and emot ional upset

Has developed strategies for avoiding or reducing stress

Is able to recognize the onset of stress

Knows when outside support /help is needed

Successful individuals with learning disabilit ies develop an awareness of their emot ional states andspecif ic coping strategies for dealing with stress, f rustrat ion, and adversity. In an ef fort to assistchildren with learning disabilit ies to develop coping strategies, we suggest that ef forts be aimed athelping them:

Understand the various factors that af fect psychological health;

Become aware of their various emot ional react ions and how these react ions impact theirbehavior;

Learn to recognize stress t riggers;

Develop strategies for avoiding or reducing stress (as possible);

Develop a repertoire of coping strategies;

Learn to recognize when they need outside support /help.

General act ivit ies for developing emot ional coping strategies

Use words in discussions with your child that ident ify feelings (for example, angry,disappointed, defeated, f rustrated, proud, impat ient).

Ask your child to discuss the circumstances that create the greatest stress in his or her lifein relat ion to his or her learning disability (reading aloud in class, correct ing a classmate'spaper, picking up social cues at part ies, etc.).

Have your child write down how his or her body feels at the onset of stress. Discuss withyour child the warning signs of stress and how to employ coping strategies.

Have your child ident ify strategies that help reduce stress (for example, relaxat iontechniques, weight lif t ing, a game of basketball, listening to music, the movies).

Guide your child to know when learning disability-related emot ional needs reach a crit icalpoint requiring outside help and how to access the right help.

Help your child develop and nurture good peer relat ionships.

Conclusion

Research has shown that a set of personal characterist ics, at t itudes, and behaviors can help leadpersons with learning disabilit ies to successful life outcomes. Unfortunately, we of ten concentrateour ef forts primarily on academic/educat ional areas, paying lit t le at tent ion to the development ofthese at t ributes in persons with learning disabilit ies.

Not ing the importance of these at t ributes in promot ing posit ive life outcomes, it is reasonable todirect greater ef forts toward fostering the development of these success at t ributes, at least tothe same degree that we strive to improve academic skills. If we remind ourselves that researchhas shown that learning disabilit ies persist into adulthood, and that children with learningdisabilit ies must ult imately funct ion in set t ings beyond school, the importance of enhancing theseattributes becomes more apparent. This shif t in focus is by no means intended to undermine theimportance of developing academic skills in children with learning disabilit ies. Rather, our intent ionis to emphasize the importance of developing success at t ributes in addit ion to, or alongsideacademic skills. Although the extent to which these at t ributes can be taught to, or learned bystudents with learning disabilit ies, is not completely clear, we do know that they are crit ical toat taining life success.

Fostering the success at t ributes is one of the ways that parents can help their children withlearning disabilit ies grow up to be more successful throughout their lives. These at t itudes,behaviors, and characterist ics require exercise, pract ice, and review just like any other skill childrenlearn. At dif ferent life stages, new developmentally appropriate challenges may require parents torecycle and revisit with their children the success at t ributes they had worked on earlier.

Examples f rom the successful adult , Vanessa, may help illustrate this point . Vanessa's mother hadto work hard on her daughter's self -awareness during the early stages of ident if icat ion of herlearning disability. "Strength and weakness language" was prevalent in family discussions with

often-tearful Vanessa as she navigated the academic challenges of elementary and middle school.Proact ivity was the topic of long summer af ternoons between seventh and eighth grade, asVanessa's mother helped her act ively set social dates with potent ial girlf riends who mightotherwise pass her by over the summer. These t imes were of ten stressful, since Vanessa haddif f iculty reading the sophist icated social cues of teenage girls at slumber part ies. Over t ime, sheand her mother set t led on some successful stress-reduct ion coping strategies to employ in thesesituat ions.

In high school, af ter a couple of failed cashiering jobs at popular teenage clothing stores,Vanessa's father helped her take stock of what type of employment would be more suitable forher, given her learning disability and her strengths, weaknesses, and interests. As a result , Vanessaset an at tainable goal of gett ing a job at a local preschool working with children. This proved to bea good niche for her in high school, and later shaped the direct ion of her college studies and,ult imately, her career as an adult . Gett ing into the state college was a great accomplishment forVanessa and her parents, but failing the writ ing prof iciency exam was a huge blow to Vanessa'sacademic self -conf idence. Her mother helped her revisit perseverance and support networks, andVanessa also sought the advice of a college counselor, who helped her get into an Englishprof iciency class at the local junior college over the summer. She struggled, didn't give up, andpassed!

At t imes, the challenges children like Vanessa face growing up with learning disabilit ies are toogreat for them and their parents. In those instances, whenever in the life course they may arise,families may need help f rom appropriate counselors, therapists, and learning disability specialists.Several of the organizat ions listed in the Resource sect ion at the back of this guide, along withtheir state and local af f iliates, may be helpful in locat ing appropriate support and services. Raisinga child with learning disabilit ies is hard, persistent work. It can dominate family life and be stressfulfor parents, as well as siblings. Don't hesitate to get help for yourselves, as well as extended familymembers.

On a f inal note, it turns out that children growing up with learning disabilit ies appreciate all thatparents do for them during the dif f icult years, whether they ever say thank you or not. We closewith a few quotes f rom adult study part icipants expressing the grat itude they feel toward theirparents as they ref lect back on their lives f rom age 35.

"My mom was the one to come in and talk to teachers, principals…She was alwaysthe one to take me around and stay there with me. I can imagine it was, at times,stressful for her, but I never felt it."

"My father really cared. He wanted me to have the best. And he did. He made sure ofthat. [He] always gave me the self confidence and self-esteem that I lacked in myself.

He made me feel that I was able to do anything I wanted to do."

Such quotes demonstrate the appreciat ion the part icipants in our study expressed for thesacrif ices their mothers and fathers made on their behalf and underscore the impact their parents'ef forts have had on their developing into successful, personally fulf illed adults, despite challengesalong the way.

Resources

Coodinated Campaign for Learning Disabilit ies

Council for Learning Disabilit ies (CLD)P.O. Box 40303Overland Park, KS 66204(913) 492-8755Fax: (913) 492-2546

Division for Learning Disabilit ies (DLD) of the Council for Except ional Children (CEC)1110 North Glebe Road, Suite 300Arlington, VA 22201(703) 620-3660Fax: (703) 264-9494Toll-f ree: (800) 328-0272

Internat ional Dyslexia Associat ion (IDA)Chester Building, Suite 3828600 LaSalle RoadBalt imore, MD 21286(410) 296-0232Fax: (410) 321-5069Toll-f ree: (800) ABC-D123

LD Online

Learning Disability Associat ion of America (LDA)4156 Library RoadPit tsburgh, PA 15234-1349(412) 341-1515Fax: (412) 344-0224Toll-f ree: (888) 300-6710

Nat ional Center for Learning Disabilit ies (NCLD)381 Park Avenue South, Suite 1401New York, NY 10016

(212) 545-7510Fax: 545-9665Toll-f ree: (800) 575-7373

Nat ional Informat ion Center for Children and Youth with Disabilit ies (NICHCY)P.O. Box 1492Washington, DC 20013-1492(202) 884-8200Fax: (202) 884-8441Toll-f ree: (800) 695-0285

Schwab Learning1650 S. Amphlet t Blvd., Suite 300San Mateo, CA 94402(650) 655-2410Fax: (650) 655-2411

This art icle is also available as a downloadable PDF.

Endnotes

Endnotes

Click the "Endnotes" link above to hide these endnotes.

1. Henry B. Reif f , Paul J. Gerber, Rick Ginsberg. Exceeding Expectat ions: Successful Adults withLearning Disabilit ies. Pro-ed, 1997. Emmy E. Werner and Ruth S. Smith, Overcoming the Odds:High Risk Children from Birth to Adulthood. Cornell University Press, 1992.

2. Marshall H. Raskind, Roberta J. Goldberg, Eleanor L. Higgins, and Kenneth L. Herman.Patterns of Change and Predictors of Success in Individuals with Learning Disabilit ies: Resultsfrom a TwentyYear Longitudinal Study, Learning Disabilit ies Research and Pract ice, 1999;Roberta J. Goldberg, Eleanor L. Higgins, Marshall H. Raskind, and Kenneth L. Herman.Predictors of Success in Individuals with Learning Disabilit ies: A Qualitat ive Analysis of a 20-Year Longitudinal Study, Learning Disabilit ies Research and Pract ice, in press.

3. Henry B. Reif f , Paul J. Gerber, Rick Ginsberg. Exceeding Expectat ions: Successful Adults withLearning Disabilit ies. Pro-ed, 1997. Emmy E. Werner and Ruth S. Smith, Overcoming the Odds:High Risk Children from Birth to Adulthood. Cornell University Press, 1992.

4. This is not to say that these factors do not have a substant ial impact on the life outcomesof persons with learning disabilit ies, but rather that research has shown that the successattributes may play an even greater role. Of course, such factors as extreme poverty orsevere psychiatric problems can have a profound af fect on someone's life and even negatethe inf luence of the success at t ributes.

Raskind, M.H., Goldberg, R.J.; Higgins, E.L.; & Herman, K.L. (2003). Life Success for Children WithLearning Disabilit ies: A Parents Guide. Pasadena, CA: Frost ig Center