Life Stressors:Helping Families Cope

March 18, 2010Christina Carson-Sacco, Psy.D.www.TheCenterInWarrington.com

Stress

• American Psychological Association– November, 2009 Report “Stress In America”– Survey says Americans’ stress levels are too high

Parents are not accurate in their perceptions of children’s stress levels

– Teens/tweens more likely to say stress had increased in past year

– Parents were out of sync with regard to the sources of worry for their children

– Children were more likely to report having physical symptoms of stress than their parents felt they did

Adults and Stress:• 75% of adults reported moderate to high levels of

stress in the past month• 43% say they eat too much or unhealthy foods as a

result of stress• Though 44% use exercise to relieve stress, many

report using sedentary activities• Significant numbers of adults reported experiencing

symptoms related to stress in the past month• 70% received recommendations for lifestyle/behavior changes

The Effects of Stress

– Some stress is good– What chronic high levels of stress does to your

body• Physical wear and tear• Reduced immune system function• Can impair the brain’s ability to block toxins

Warning Signs

• What to look for as ‘red flags’ with regard to your child’s/your own stress level:– Irritability, moodiness, withdrawal– Sleeping too much/too little– Eating too much/too little– Physical complaints– Getting into trouble– Can’t have fun– Substance use

Stress and the Family

• We are all connected• Loss of connection is damaging• Parents as role models

GAF

• Global Assessment of Functioning from American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistics Manual (DSM)– From 1 to 100– Common things can cause stress and reduce your

numbers on GAF (ranked by Holmes and Rahe)– The key is that anything that happens can be

perceived as stressful

Coping Skills

• Talk to your child about stress– Notice– Give them your full attention– Don’t try to fix it or intrude– Repeat back what you heard– Watch your own parental anxiety– Provide age-appropriate– Realize they may use other words than ‘stress,’ such as

‘annoyed,’ ‘confused,’ or ‘angry’– Don’t discount their stress

More Coping Skills

• Prevention – Insulate your child to stress– Start with the basics– Help your child problem solve– Teach them to express themselves– Teach them relaxation skills– Give them outlets– If you can, reduce some– Stay connected– Teach them how to ask for help

Your Own Coping Skills

• Be a role model • Monitor your moods• Make time for yourself• Prioritize• Set reasonable standards for yourself• Catch yourself if you have negative automatic

thought patterns• Build and maintain your support network

Some Specifics

• The Holidays• Divorce• Taking care of our children, parents, selves• Challenges of Special Needs Child– Diagnosis– Assessment and School

• Being a sibling to a special needs child

The Holidays

• Feeling overwhelmed is normal• Pressure to make things perfect• Put things into perspective– Take time for yourself– Volunteer– Have realistic expectations– Focus on ‘family’ that is supportive and positive– Start a new tradition

Job Loss/Financial Troubles

• Job loss can lead to various symptoms• Resilience• Structure• Connect• Accept• Long-term view• Purpose

Divorce

• Put your children first• Talk with children• Respect the other parent• Try to maintain routines• Don’t fight in front of them/use them as a

messenger• Take care of yourself• Watch for warning signs• Seek help when needed

Caregiver Stress

• Emotional and Physical Strain• Try to find positives• Watch for warning signs• Grieve• Care for self first• Ask for and accept help

Parenting a Special Needs Child• Take time after learning about diagnosis• Seek connection/support• One day at a time• Educate yourself• You don’t have to be a rock• Find positives• Care for yourself first• Care for your relationships• Plan how to deal with other’s reactions• Try to keep routines• Keep a sense of humor

Siblings of Special Needs Children

• Experience can be positive• Fierce supporters• Some feelings are less positive• Talk and educate• Foster connections with other sibs• Find one on one time• Things don’t have to be ‘fair’• Try not to lean on them; watch for being ‘too good’• Help them prepare for other’s reactions• Use school and other supports

Let’s Try Something

• Deep breathing• Progressive Muscle Relaxation• Imagery• Keep up with your ‘bag of tricks’