Family Collage

By: Liesl Goodwin

Botwin Family Theme: Love will keep us together

FAMILY

“We are born into a

family, mature in a

family, form new

families, and leave our

families upon death.”(pp1)

We create families just

as we are created by

our family (pp1)

Family life is a universal

human experience, but

no two people share the

exact same experience

When one forms a family

they create a system

that is build on their

interaction and

communication patterns. (pp57)

Meet the Botwin Family The Botwin family is

a happy two-parent

biological family

There is a strong

bond of love

between all

members

Communication is

transactional and all

are active in making

family decisions.

The parents

Nancy Judah

Nancy is a loving mother who is especially affectionate towards her youngest son

Shane. She works but spends her free time doing house work and taking care of her

kids and husband. Judah is a loving husband who shows his affection verbally and

non-verbally. He works full time and is seen as the man of the house.

BrothersSilas Shane

Silas is the oldest brother and he lets Shane know it! but he is always there for

him. He likes hanging out with Shane but sometimes he is too busy with his

friends. Silas is close with is dad and confides in him for advice. Shane is quite,

thoughtful and very intelligent. He wants to be just like his dad and older brother.

He has a close relationship with is mom.

Known in the family as the golden boy. He isn’t afraid to say what is bothering him

He is open with his parents about his relationships and sexual activities with girls

Silas

ShaneTreated like the typical youngest sibling; you could say his mother babies him

Shane doesn’t always express his thoughts and feelings verbally unless approached.

Friends

Nancy and Jonah see their friends as being part of the

family system.

Family dinner has become a family ritual in the Botwin house. It is a great time to talk with one another without interruptions Rituals serve as a way

to bond family members of all ages and across generations. (pp119)

Rituals contain a variety of meanings and messages. They remind members who they are and reflects a family’s relational culture (pp116)

Relational MaintenanceWe communicatively maintain

family relationships through our

everyday interactions (pp114). Nancy

and her friend support Shane by

watching his soccer game. Judah

and Nancy both participate in other

activities such as bring the kids to

school or talking about your day at

the diner table, this will help to

create and maintain the desired

relational definitions.

Talk is the essence to relational

maintenance. Talk may include

discissing individual needs,

negotiating new behaviors, or

forgiving another (PP112) .

The Botwin family uses all 5

maintenance strategies; positivity,

assurance, social networks, sharing

tasks and openness (pp113)

Families are characterized by activities member share

From a systems perspective the behavior of each family member is related to and dependent on the behavior of the others

In this picture Nancy, Silas, Shane, Andy and Doug all spent the day at a fair.

With in a family system the parts and the relationship between them form a whole; changes in one part will result in changes in the others. (pp59)

After the death of Judah the family is faced with unpredictable stress. This kind of stress is brought about by events that disrupt life patterns but can’t be foreseen. (pp300)

Communication patterns and networks change drastically when members face a major crisis such as death. (pp309)

In a crisis such as death the family goes through a process in handling the loss. (pp307)

Stages of Family Crisis

4 stages

1.Shock resulting in numbness, disbelief, or denial

2. Recoil stage resulting in anger, confusion, blaming, and guilt

3. Depression

4.Reorganization resulting in acceptance(pp307)

Judah’s brother moves in

Andy decides to move in with Nancy and the kids. The family formation, among other things, had changed due to the crisis.

Nancy lost the one person she confided in. Andy s now there to take his place.

Family roles

The unexpected death of a family member sends a family system into role confusion. Nancy’s role has now change since she has to be the primary money maker. Silas has stepped up and assumed the role of man of the house. He helps out Nancy with the household needs (task role)and has become more like a father figure to Shane. Shane seems to be more separated from the family.

New family theme:

Family Sticks Together

The Botwin family coped with death by pulling together and making things work. In the process the family overcame many challenges and created new roles, communication styles, and behaviors

New rituals were made; they celebrate Judah’s birthday together but in a new way