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Leveraging Your Leadership StrengthsPRESENTED ON:MAY 17, 2018MASSACHUSETTS ASBO
PresentersSusan Harkin, SFOChief Operating OfficerAlgonquin IL Community Unit School District [email protected]
Carrie MatlockPresidentDLA Architects, Ltd. [email protected]
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Tools to be SharedLife Orientation (LIFO)
(Atkins)
Emotional Intelligence(Mind Tools)
Art of Listening(Nichols)
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Life OrientationTHE SCHUTZ COMPANY
Life Orientation (LIFO)Goal
Confirm your LIFO
Match communication styles
Understand how to leverage your LIFO
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Activity: Confirming Styles
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Bridging
7 This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
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Mismatching
Excellence
HarmonyAction
Reason
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Matching
Excellence
HarmonyAction
Reason
Activity: Identify Other’s Style in Email
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Emotional IntelligenceBY MIND TOOLS
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Emotional Intelligence (EI/EQ)Goal
Understand what is EI/EQ
Share components of EI/EQ
Provide tools to improve EI/EQ
Connect EI/EQ to LIFO
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Emotional Intelligence (EI)Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to:
Monitor one's own and other people's emotions;
Discriminate between different emotions;
Label emotions appropriately; and
Use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
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Attributes of High EISELF SOCIAL
Self Awareness Social Awareness
Self-Confidence Empathy
Emotional Self-Awareness Origizinational Awareness
Accurate Self Assessment Service Orientation
Self Management Relationship Management
Self-Control Influence
Trustworthiness Inspirational Leadership
Concientiousness Developing Others
Adaptability Building Bonds
Achievement Teamwork & Collaboratoin
Drive to Succeed
Initiatve
REC
OG
NIT
ION
REG
ULA
TIO
N
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Strategies to Improving EI
R ecognize emotions in self and others
U nderstand the cause and consequences of emotions.
L abel emotions accurately
E xpress emotions appropriately
R egulate emotions effectively
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LIFO / Emotional Intelligence
Connecting Emotional Intelligence to Life Orientations
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Controlling/TakingEI Characteristics
LOW EIAggressive
Demanding
Egotistical
Bossy
Confrontational
HIGH EIAssertive
Ambitious
Driving
Strong Willed
Decisive
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Adaptive/DealingEI Characteristics
LOW EIEasily Distracted
Glib
Selfish
Poor Listener
Impulsive
HIGH EIWarm
Enthusiastic
Sociable
Charming
Persuasive
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Conserving/HoldingEI Characteristics
LOW EIResistant to Change
Passive
Un-Responsive
Slow
Stubborn
HIGH EIPatient
Stable
Predictable
Consistent
Good Listener
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Supporting/GivingEI Characteristics
LOW EICritical
Picky
Fussy
Hard to Please
Perfectionistic
HIGH EIDetailed
Careful
Meticulous
Systematic
Neat
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Activity
Discuss your LIFO style with your neighbor in relation to EI.
What things you could do more of to improve your emotional intelligence?
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Review – Adaptive/Dealing
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Review – Conserving/Holding
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Review – Controlling/Taking
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Review – Supporting/Giving
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EI/EQEmotional
Intelligence
IQCompetence
IQ + EI/EQ = Success
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ListeningBY MARY P. NICHOLS, PHD.
ListeningGoal
Understand how well you listen
Explain why we have trouble listening
Tools to improve listening
Connect listening to LIFO
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How Well do you Listen?
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SCORE31-35 = Effective
21-30 = Good14-20 = Not-so-
good<13 = Huh?
Listening SkillsHearing is with your ears, listening is with the mindKeith Davis, Human Behavior & Work
Listening is playing catch with words
To play catch, both parties must participateDr. Mortimer Adler
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Then - Why Don’t We Listen?Our brain is faster than our mouthWe speak 125-150 words/minutes
We listen to 400 words/minute
Our brain can process 1,000-1,500 words/minute!!
Untrained listener understands/retains 50% of conversation!
Experts suggest that we all make at least one major listening mistake per day.
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Pitfalls of ListeningSee talking as an active role
See listening as a passive role
Over preparation of what you are going to say
Emotional filters or blinders
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We educate our students in reading, writing and speech, when in reality our skill set requirements are:
Why Effective Listening?Increase your Knowledge
Save Time
Reduce Stress
Real Dialogue
Trust
Understand
Self-Esteem
Influence & Power
Develop your Potential
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Bad Habits –Are you one of these?Attention Faker
Fact Gather
Criticizer
Boring
Blockers
Distracter
Note Taker
Mental Rehearser
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To Be a Great ListenerOne must develop listening skills:Be Interactive
Be Attentive
It does not come easily!!
Skills will help you to better receive true meanings your speaker is trying to convey!
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LIFO and Listening
Connecting Listening to Life Orientation
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Controlling/TakingActionWHAT MAKES THEM TUNE IN?
Competitive
Enterprising
Fast-moving
Pioneering
WHAT MAKES THEM TUNE OUT?
Resources restricted
Authority undercut
Less responsibility
No challenges
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Adaptive/DealingHarmonyWHAT MAKES THEM TUNE IN?
Social
Flexible
Informal
Accepting
WHAT MAKES THEM TUNE OUT?
Unfriendly people
Critical authority
Routines and details
Strict schedules
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Conserving/HoldingReasonWHAT MAKES THEM TUNE IN?
Unemotional
Factual
Inquiring
Practical
WHAT MAKES THEM TUNE OUT?
Constant changes
Highly emotional
Fast decisions
Unplanned action
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Supporting/GivingExcellenceWHAT MAKES THEM TUNE IN?
Respectful
Accepting
Reassuring
Idealistic
WHAT MAKES THEM TUNE OUT?
Critical
Ridiculing
Failing
Unhelpful
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ActivityDiscuss your LIFO style with your neighbor in relation to listening.◦Is what is listed for tuning in and out accurate?
Pick someone you have difficulty communicating with.◦If you know their LIFO preference, what can you do differently to make them tune in?
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Attention Attention!!Be motivated to listen
Ask questions if you must speak
Be alert to nonverbal clues
Allow speaker tell their story
DO NOT interrupt
Fight off distractions
Do not trust your memory
Listen with a goal in mind
React to message - not person
Give speaker undivided attention
DO NOT get angry
Impossible to listen/speak at the same time
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High Performing TeamsBuilding Blocks◦ Confirming strengths
◦ Treating negatives positively
◦ Utilizing differences
◦ Visioning the whole
◦ Getting agreement
◦ Controlling excess
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ConclusionLearn to speak and interact with others based upon their Life Orientations
Improve your Emotional Intelligence by:◦ Observing how you react to people and stressful situation
◦ Taking responsibility for your actions
◦ Examining how your actions affect others
Become a better Listener by:◦ Asking questions if you must speak
◦ Allowing speaker to tell their story - DO NOT interrupt
◦ Fighting off distractions and giving speaker undivided attention
◦ Understanding how what makes others tune in and tune out
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ReferencesMindTools. (2018, March 14). Emotional intelligence. Retrieved from MindTools: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_59.htm
The Schutz Company. (2009, August 9). How LIFO Produces Results. Retrieved from LIFO: Life Orientations: https://lifo.co/introduction-lifo/lifo-produces-results/
Nichols PhD., M. P. (2009). The lost art of listening: How learning to listen can improve relationships (2nd ed.). New York, NY: The Guilford Publications, Inc.
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