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Learning about emotions

in the early years.

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Emotional intelligence

The term emotional intelligence was coined by two US Psychologists, Peter Salovey and

John Mayer and refers to a person’s ability to understand and express their emotions as well

as their ability to read and understand the emotions of others. If a person has good emotional

intelligence, they are able to respond well to and get on with others, enabling them to work

well in a group. They are more likely to have positive self-image and self-esteem, show

empathy, be optimistic and confident, think reflectively, solve problems and develop the

emotional strength and resilience to cope with the ups and downs of daily life. Our emotional

intelligence is constantly changing in response to, e.g. the situation we find ourselves in, how

well-rested we are, the demands on us at any given time, but it is possible to become more

emotionally intelligent, and for us to help children to develop their emotional intelligence

through our interaction with them.

Throughout a normal week, young children are likely to experience and display a range of

emotions, but often find it difficult to identify and express these in an appropriate way. Much

teaching about emotions can be intentional, but is likely to be almost incidental – as the

opportunity arises and sometime in “the heat of the moment”. At other times we can plan to

concentrate on identifying and understanding a particular emotion. This pack is intended to

help with some general guidance for the everyday, “opportunistic” teaching as well as to

provide some ideas and resources for more direct, planned teaching time.

Several other commercially available resources are also available. These include:-

Practical Pre-school, Exploring Emotions (Roz Bayley)

LDA emotions cards (photographic cads to stimulate discussion)

LDA Time to Talk by Alison Schroeder

Some children’s picture books about emotions e.g. QED Everybody feels …angry,

…sad, …happy, etc. by Jane Bingham,

Children’s stories such as Can’t you sleep little bear or Park in the Dark, by Martin

Waddell.

Black Sheep Press – Pragmatics/Semantics 1 – emotions and facial expressions – a

series of pictures to sort and discuss.

Some general strategies for helping children to understand emotions throughout the day

Acknowledge and talk about children’s feelings to help them to identify and describe

feelings as they arise.

Remember all feelings are real for the person who is experiencing them – we can

acknowledge them, without agreeing – “I can see you feel….

Listen with attention and be empathetic, try to be patient

Help children to regulate emotions and learn ways to express them in ways which

won’t hurt others.

Help them to learn from mistakes – this might mean learning a different way to

express themselves.

Try to provide an area where children can go when things get too much – sensory area

Recognise and celebrate success – that’s great, I’m so proud of you, you stayed calm

and we were able to sort the problem out (without fighting!)

Give choices and encourage appropriate responsibility and confidence in their ability

to succeed

Ask them to try to find a solution or idea to resolve a conflict

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Describe feelings in real situations

Talk about feelings of characters in a story

Help children to understand that we don’t always agree but can still like and respect

someone

Play co-operative games and give children opportunities to work co-operatively

Recognising emotions

Roz Bayley – “ if children are to become emotionally literate adults, able to understand and

have mastery over their feelings, it is essential that this important work begins in the early

years. It is a fundamental part of enabling children to be sensitive to the feelings of others,

and in fact, a key element of all emotional skills.”

In early years, we need to support children to recognise, name and acknowledge their feelings

by :-

Teaching the vocabulary – this can be difficult as feelings are abstract, so a good time

to develop this is when the children are experiencing the feeling. If we are able to

label a feeling as it is happening – this gives a child an opportunity to builds bridge

between the vocabulary and the abstract concept.

“You look happy today! – I can see your big smile!”

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Some ideas for understanding “happy”

This is the easiest emotion to start with, as it is a positive one! Children should learn to

recognise the physical features associated with happy and

why someone might feel happy.

Suggested activities –

bring photos from home - photo of something that has made them happy. Make a

happy display.

Happy collage using materials from magazines, happy sad face picture sort.

Make happy faces using play dough, icing biscuits to make faces – add sweets or

different coloured writing icing for facial features

Paint faces after looking in the mirror

Use paper plates to make faces – add buttons, scrap materials, wool, or use colouring

materials to add features.

Talk about why they think the people look happy - it may be difficult for the children

to answer a why question – try – what (do you think) made her happy?

Take photos of the children looking happy record what they say – I’m happy because

…

Circle time – tell me one thing that can make you happy, swap seats if …. Eating ice

cream makes you happy, hugging mum makes you happy, playing football makes

you happy, eating chocolate makes you happy etc. – make up game according to

children’s interests. Pass a smile around the circle.

Songs – if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands / smile at me / laugh ha ha/

say I am

Talk about stories – e.g. Cinderella felt happy when …, The billy goats were happy

when, Little bear was happy when …

Puppets and toys – hide a soft toy and say he’s feeling very unhappy – what will

make him happy?

Time to talk – by Alison Schroeder (LDA) Ginger bear

Look at Ginger – see his face – when he is happy his mouth is turned up, his head is up, his

eyes are wide open , when he is sad his face is down, his mouth is down, his eyes are small

and he is crying

Mirrors game – make a happy face make a sad face

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Feeling sad

Feeling sad, or unhappy, is also a relatively easy emotion for young children to understand, to

identify with, and to recognise in others. Sensitivity is clearly needed however, and

knowledge of children’s circumstances will influence activities and avoid potential distress.

Children should :-

Learn to recognise physical features associated with sad / unhappy – head down,

mouth turned down, eyes looking down, shoulders down, moving slowly,

Understand why someone might feel sad

Begin to learn that everyone feels sad sometimes but that this is usually temporary –

sometime children are caught up in very sad circumstances and sensitivity is needed,

as the situation may not be short term for that child.

Begin to learn that they can ask someone for help, or offer help to a friend, so that

they begin to feel better.

Ideas for learning about sad / unhappy

Name and label in real situation - I can see you look sad. I know you want to play

with that but it’s time to tidy up. We can get it out again tomorrow… I can see you

look sad, do you want to join in? let’s ask if you can play too…..

Use puppets – e.g. if there has been a dispute over toys/ sharing etc. which has

resulted in someone feeling sad/ someone has been left out or there hasn’t been space

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or time for them to join in or play with the thing they really wanted to – make up a

similar situation for the puppets and explain how they feel – ask the children to

suggest ways to make them feel better e.g. put a small plaster on a soft toy and

explain that he fell over in the playground and feels sad – what could the children

suggest to make him feel better?

Make sad faces using art materials

Collage work – photos from magazines showing sad faces

Talking about pictures and photos - Why is xyz sad – what is wrong? Who is sad,

why?

Circle time games - pass the sad face….., tell one time you felt sad, / what makes you

feel sad…., swap places if you feel sad when – e.g. you hurt yourself, you have no-

one to play with, you want a biscuit and mum says no, there is no time to play, you

don’t get a go on the swing / slide/ bikes, you lose your doll / you lose your …..,

there’s no orange for break, you don’t like stew and it’s stew for lunch ….

Ask what made the children feel better, reinforce the idea that being sad is often

temporary and sometimes someone else can help – tell a friend, talk to a grown up.

Stories – e.g. Dogger – Shirley Hughes, Three friends together – (Rigby big books)

LDA, Time to talk, Alison Schroeder Sort Ginger pictures – how does Ginger feel?

Black sheep press – Pragmatics/semantics 1 – emotions and facial expressions. This is

a series of pictures to talk about

Photos from LDA Emotions photo pack

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Feeling scared / afraid

“Fear is a natural part of life, and something that young children experience in varying

degrees. Our role lies in enabling them to understand that everyone is afraid sometimes and

that being afraid is all part of being human,” (Roz Bayley – Practical pre-school, exploring

emotions.)

We are probably all afraid of something and sometimes this fear helps to keep us safe as it

means we avoid something which has potential danger – e.g. keeping a safe distance from an

animal which might bite. At other times the feeling of fear can be overcome – and this might

help to build confidence – e.g. separating from mum at the beginning of a nursery year,

starting a new school. Occasionally the “fear feeling” can also be short lived or even fun –

rides at a fairground, watching a film with a scary section, or listening to a story with a scary

part. For these the scary part is resolved and becomes safe again. Unfortunately some

children may also be living with a significant level of fear for a variety of reasons which

might include:- having difficulty making sense of the world around them – perhaps with

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traits of ASD or speech and language difficulty, as well as, for a small number of children,

unhealthy relationships.

Our role – we need to be very sensitive, as we may be asking children to focus on a feeling

which makes them feel uncomfortable or upset.

Acknowledge that fears are real

Help them understand and recognise the feeling of fear

Learn words to label and express their feeling of fear

Learn some strategies that will help

Some lead in ideas -

Hide a small cuddly toy in a box and explain that he is scared to come out – ask

children to think of ways they can help – the leader will have to make suggestions –

e.g. stay very quiet, maybe one person at a time say hello and make friends, what else

can they think of ? Would he like to play beside you? etc. – Lead into talking about

what children might be scared of

Circle game – resources – pictures or toys which children might be afraid of – e.g.

spiders, dogs, snakes, etc – swap places if you are afraid of …. (give the idea that we

are all scared of something, sometimes different things.)

Other ideas

Halloween is a time when children often experience “scared” – children are aware of

loud bangs and scary faces /dressing up etc. and some are really afraid – be sensitive

and supportive. Reinforce “stranger danger” but help them to understand that people

they know who are dressed up might look scary, and make scary noises etc, but it’s

really only for fun. If they are dressing up themselves, help them to understand that

it’s all pretend. Explain that loud noises, flashes and bangs might be uncomfortable,

but are far away and they will be ok.

Martin Waddell – “Giants” story has a part with the little girl in the story being scared

by Uncle Tom who is pretending to be a monster

Martin Waddell – “Can’t you Sleep little bear?” “Park in the Dark” – stories about

scared of the dark.

Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury – “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt – story or action

rhyme – we’re not scared

Using stories – many Fairytales are scary - there are lots of opportunities to talk about

feelings – Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk, Three Little Pigs,

Goldilocks etc. Hansel and Gretel, Snow White.

Talk about scary situations – lost at the shops, lost at the beach, stuck in a car, stuck in

a toilet, (all alone), etc. using a toy – teddy bear or puppet, to put in the situations can

give the children an opportunity to make suggestions about what the toy could do as

well as to say what they think he/she might be feeling.

Resolving feeling scared :- Learning that the feeling of being scared is likely to pass and

learning ways we can help

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Talking about stories – was little bear scared at each part of the story, how did he fell

at the end? what made him feel better? Was Little Red Riding Hood scared? What

happened ? who helped? Was she safe at the end? How did she feel then? What about

the little pigs? How did they feel? How did they help each other? What happened to

the Wolf? How did they feel etc…

Learning ways to help – we can tell mum, dad, granny, another adult, practise what to

say in different situations and talk about who might help – e.g. a shop assistant, a

mum with children, a teacher, a friend …,

If the children can tell you about a time when they felt scared (lost, nightmare, alone

etc.) ask what/who helped, what happened, how did they feel.

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Emotions – angry

Because of the way our brain works, when we are feeling a strong emotion like anger, it is

difficult to “think straight”, we might “see red” and we often act without thinking – often

regretting the action later. To help children, we need to help them stop and think and to help

them understand that it is ok to be angry – that it is a normal human response, better

expressed than “bottled up” inside, but that we need to learn ways to control the expression

so that we don’t hurt others. It is important to teach vocabulary by linking feelings to words,

so that children can use words to express anger.

Ideas for beginning discussion

Use toys or puppets to talk through a situation where a child has broken or

accidentally destroyed something which was important to another child and this child,

who is upset and angry, crying and shouting “I hate you!” (or similar). Talk through

what happened. Label feelings and discuss why the child is upset/angry as well as

how the other people involved might feel.

Next time reverse roles so the same child (puppet or toy) does not become identified

as the “naughty” one.

(Possible scenarios might include :- a child snatching a toy from another, something

being broken or e.g. a picture being destroyed, not getting a turn at a favourite

activity, not having enough time to play with a favourite activity, teasing/name

calling, - anything provoking an angry response.)

Talk through real situations as they arise with the children involved

Dealing with an angry outburst

Acknowledge feelings – this helps the child to feel supported (you show

understanding and empathy) and helps them to calm down. It also gives them a

vocabulary to use (or reinforces it) as you are labelling the feeling they are

experiencing. “I can see you feel angry / cross etc.

Once calm collect information about what happened, reflect back. “you are cross

because you have to put the toy away now…. Is that right?”

Ask for suggestions as to what can happen next – to resolve the problem. Adults

usually need to support this process – and if necessary to keep their own word too.

“OK we can get the toy out again the next day” (remember to do it!)

Circle games –

tell me something that makes you angry

mirror work – angry faces

use pictures e.g. LDA Emotions set– what is happening- who is angry, what

happened

use stories, Two Monster by David McKee, Angry Arthur by Satoshi Kitamura,

When Mum Turned into a Monster by Joanna Harrison, traditional tales – the 3

pigs, Goldilocks, etc. have ref to someone feeling angry

specific books about feelings e.g. Jane Bingham – Everybody feels … angry

photograph role play situations – e.g. someone knocking down a tower which

another child/group has built.

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