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Leading People in Times of StressThree instinctual ways people react to stress
Marc A. Pitman, CEO@marcapitman | @concordleaders ConcordLeadershipGroup.com
Karen Horney's “Needs”
Expansion (Aggressive)
We now call these “STANCES”
Compliance (Dependent)
Detachment (Withdrawing)
3 Stances
• Fast paced • Future focused • Social
recognition
• Present focused • Aware of others • How this will “fix”
the problem
• Aware of past • Ways to minimize
personal impact • Need their own
space• Instinct: ACTION • Instinct: Look to others for answers • Instinct: Pull back
AGRESSIVE DEPENDENT WITHDRAWN
© The Concord Leadership Group LLC
3 Stances
• Instinct: ACTION • Instinct: Look to others for answers • Instinct: Pull back
And they each frustrate the other!AGRESSIVE DEPENDENT WITHDRAWN
© The Concord Leadership Group LLC
© The Concord Leadership Group LLC
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Peacemaker
Perfectionist
Caretaker
Achiever
Tragic RomanticInvestigator
Loyalist
Enthusiast
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© The Concord Leadership Group LLC
Protector
Achiever
Enthusiast
Aggressive Stance3• Aim - Success and efficiency
• Fear - Being worthless• Stress - Ambiguous attempts at success lead to lethargy• Help - Seeing innate worth, not just outward
7• Aim - To stay “up” & experiencing exciting things• Fear - Being deprived, dragged down, limited, or in pain• Stress - Avoids negative but can become stormy• Help - Resist incessant planning; be here now
8• Aim - Control, to protect those close to them• Fear - Being taken advantage of• Stress - Dominance to fearful & secretive• Help - Finding peace in not being in control
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© The Concord Leadership Group LLC
Perfectionist
Caretaker
Questioner
Dependent Stance1 • Aim - Constant improvement, eliminating all error
• Fear - Not being good enough, messing up• Stress - Doubling down to moody & irrational• Help - Done enough, accepting things aren’t perfect
2 • Aim - Helping, being needed, indispensable • Fear - Not being wanted, not being helped• Stress - Frustrated helping leads to aggressive pushiness• Help - Care for self, you’re not a burden; your needs
matter
6 • Aim - All contingencies planned, to be supported• Fear - Being unsupported & without guidance• Stress - Worst-case planning becomes oddly competitive• Help - Learning you can trust yourself, others already do
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© The Concord Leadership Group LLC
Peacemaker
Tragic RomanticInvestigator
Withdrawing Stance4• Aim - To be authentic, to find their significance
• Fear - Not being seen, not being understood• Stress - Self-focused to overly, smotheringly helpful• Help - Trusting that your shortcomings and flaws won’t
automatically lead to your team leaving you
5• Aim - Being capable & competent• Fear - Not having enough data to be effective• Stress - Detached to hyperactive; humor attempts come
across as cynicism• Help - Trust that you know enough to act in front of the
lens; your team needs to see you
9• Aim - Stability, avoidance of conflict, genuine peace• Fear - Loss and seperation• Stress - Numbing activities to growing anxiety• Help - Allowing the isolation to help you figure out what is
important to you (might start with “not’s”)
© The Concord Leadership Group LLC
9
1
2
3
45
6
7
8Protector
Peacemaker
Perfectionist
Caretaker
Achiever
Tragic RomanticInvestigator
Loyalist
Enthusiast
Recordings Stances & Recovery by Suzanne Stabile https://www.lifeinthetrinityministry.com/store/
9 Types of Stories by Marc A. Pitman https://EnneagramIntro.com/
Podcasts The Enneagram Journey with Suzanne Stabile https://TheEnneagramJourney.org/
Enneagram Mapmakers with Christopher Heuertz https://cac.org/podcast/enneagram-mapmakers/
Books What’s My Type? by Kathy Hurley & Ted Donson
The Road Back to You by Ian Cron & Suzanne Stabile The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile
The 9 Types of Leadership by Beatrice Chestnut Understanding the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson
Our Inner Conflicts and Neurosis & Human Growth by Karen Horney
More on the Enneagram & Stances