Leadership: Wisdom, Civility, and Creativity A Global Transformation

By Clement Blakeslee, B.A., M.A., M.Sc.Retired public affairs broadcaster, political journalist, human resources consultant, native affairs advocate, social science academic, and environmental advocate

Buddha graphic by Wilfredor / CC BY-SA 3.0

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Preface4Life5The Code of Humanity6Charter for Compassion7The Sages Code: Twelve Transformative Noetic Essentials81) Play: A Serious Puzzle82)Wonder: How, Why93) Gratitude: A Self-Vitalizing Essential94) Beauty Will Save the World105) Joy Happiness106) Optimism: Hope, Creativity, and Positive Intuition117) Reason: Logic, Empiricism, Science, Knowledge, Wisdom118)Purpose Leadership129) Harmony: From the Personal to the Global1210) Compassion: Empathy, Civility, Respect, and Tolerance1311) Generosity: A Necessary Essential for the Successful Evolution of the Noosphere1312) Spirituality: The Interplay of the Human Mind and the Divine Realm14Part I: Introduction16Section 1: You and Your Emotions17Introduction17Section 2 The New Age View of Stress24Section 3 Blocks to Fulfillment32Section 4 Capacities of Your Mind40Section 5 The Capacity of Free Will49Section 6 Self-Generating Resources of the Mind58Part II: Provocative Perspectives69Mind/Culture: Seven Ways of Looking at the World70East Meets West: A Noetic Enrichment89Communication and Creativity93Introduction93Innovation: Creativity or Crisis95Working, Learning and Growing97Problem Solving and the Role of Metaphor98Skill Inventory as an Organization Innovation100Issues in Todays Complex Organizations102Multiculturalism and Human Capital103Models of Social Investment106Part III: Vital Works112Taming the Tiger Within113Summary, from the cover113Review, from Publishers Weekly113Review from SpiritualityAndPractice.com, by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat113Biography from plumvillage.org, Thich Nhat Hanhs practice centre114Emotional Freedom116Summary, from DrJudithOrloff.com116Review, from My-booksreview.blogspot.com117Review, from Publishers Weekly117Biography, from the jacket117Emotional Intelligence118Summary, from danielgoleman.info118Review, from the New York Times, by Eugene Kennedy118Biography, from danielgoleman.info120Scarred by Struggle, Transformed by Hope121Summary, from the publishers website, Eerdmans.com121Review, from Publishers Weekly121Review, from SpiritualityandPractice.com122Biography, from Eerdmans.com123Leading with Kindness123Summary, from the Leading with Kindness website, wliw.org/leadingwithkindness123Review, from the Graziadio Business Review, by John Oppenheim124Biography, from the Leading with Kindness website124The Power of Ethical Management126Summary, from kenblanchard.com126Review, from Publishers Weekly126Biography, from HarperCollins.com126Total Leadership127Summary, excerpted from TotalLeadership.com127Review, from the Graziadio Business Review127Biography, from TotalLeadership.com128Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence129Summary, from the publishers site, HarperCollins.com129Review, from the Financial Times129Biography, from danielgoleman.info131Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work131Summary, from HeathBrothers.com131Review, appearing in the March 26th, 2013 edition of the Globe and Mail132Biography, from the jacket133Primal Leadership134Summary, from the cover134Review, from the Summer 2008 issue of the Journal of Applied Christian Leadership134Biography, from the cover140Who Will Cry When You Die? Life Lessons from the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari141Summary, from Amazon.com141Review, from ActionableBooks.com141Biography, from RobinSharma.com141

Preface

Life

The adventure of life is to learn.The purpose of life is to grow.The nature of life is to change.The challenge of life is to overcome.The opportunity of life is to serve.The secret of life is to dare.The spice of life is to befriend.The beauty of life is to give.The joy of life is to love.

William Arthur Ward

The Code of Humanity

I choose to communicate truth.

I choose the reality of life.

I choose to heal, not hurt.

I choose education over ignorance.

I choose the power of peace.

I choose to love God (or Good) and see God (or Good) in all humanity.

I choose to seek the soul in all things.I choose to link to the world of inspiration.

I choose the principle of sharing.

I choose to become a co-creator in life and live it more abundantly.

--From creativegroup.org

Charter for Compassion

The principle of compassionlies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessaryin both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating otherseven our enemiesis a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and womento restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion--to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate--to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures--to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity--to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beingseven those regarded as enemies.

We urgently needto make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.

--From charterforcompassion.org

The Sages Code: Twelve Transformative Noetic Essentials

I am developing a curriculum based on the 12 points listed below. I envision this course to be the core philosophy regarding the positive personal potentials vis-a-vis a noetic approach to human life. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.1. Play2. Wonder3. Gratitude4. Beauty5. Joy6. Optimism7. Reason8. Purpose9. Harmony10. Compassion11. Generosity12. Spirituality

1) Play: A Serious Puzzle

The first item in my list of twelve transformative noetic essentials is the notion of play. I find play to be a difficult essential to define. Commonly, much is included in play such as ruthlessly competitive sports, aggressively pursued games, and activities which involve struggles for dominance or deceptive activities.

For me play is a pursuit which lacks obsessive agendas or tightly structured strategies. For me play is a condition of delight involving a number of people or even solo enjoyment of nature. Fun and relaxation are the essentials of play; a delight in the common place and an intuitive appreciation of social warmth and natural wonders.

I could only generate a short list of books supporting this notion. I would appreciate additional suggestions.- The Spell of the Sensuous, by David Abram- Music Lesson, by Victor L. Wooten- The Hand, by Frank R. Wilson

2)Wonder: How, WhyWonder is the number two transformative noetic essential in my list of twelve. Wonder is a quality of the human condition which drives the curiosity which expands human culture. This curiosity can be cosmic in nature or deeply personal.

I have chosen a literature base for wonder, which explores the miraculous and the mysterious from cosmology to consciousness. I am listing five diverse books which if read in sequence explores the full dimension of human curiosity. And they are:

- The Fifth Miracle, by Paul Davies- Nature Via Nurture, by Matt Ridley- The Ape and Sushi Master, by Frans de Waal- Peripheral Visions, by Mary Catherine Bateson- Spectrum of Consciousness, by Ken Wilber

3) Gratitude: A Self-Vitalizing EssentialGratitude is the third in my list of twelve transformative noetic essentials. Western culture, through its Christian traditions, has through the century confused the concept of gratitude with bargaining, pleading, triumphalism and an array of negative baggage.

I am attempting in this offering to approach gratitude in a self-vitalizing and multi-dimensional mental, emotional profile. I have created a graphic entitled Seven Mental/Emotional Polarities to give shape to my understanding of gratitude.Gratitude is the culmination of emotional insight and enlightened comprehension regarding gratitude as the ultimate self-vitalizing mental/emotional profile.

Seven Mental/Emotional Polarities

Self-Poisoning ProfileSelf- Vitalizing Profile

AngerSelf-Awareness

FearSelf-Confidence

IgnoranceEnlightenment

Self-DoubtSelf-Esteem

ResentmentJoy

GuiltTranquility

GreedGratitude

The list of five books approaches this subject with the above points in mind. They give depth and perspective to my graphic.

- Doubt and Certainty, by Tony Rothman and George Sudarshan- Becoming Animal, by David Abram- A Passion for the Possible, by Jean Houston- Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman- My Stroke of Insight, by Jill Bolte Taylor

4) Beauty Will Save the World

Recently, I entered twelve transformative noetic essentials as a base configuration for a course on the transformative dimensions of the noetic realm. The fourth item in the list is beauty. That concept does stir fundamental and crucial notions about the human condition. Writers such as David Abram and Oliver Sacks, beautifully explore the interplay of noetic and biotic forces. Frequently the terms biosphere and noosphere are used to express the same idea as the biotic and noetic realm.

A powerful Russian literary tradition evoked by Fyodor Dostoyevsky and reinvigorated by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, proclaims the transformative power of beauty and beauty's ultimate capacity to be a force of salvation for human kind. I invite contributions to this discussion.5) Joy Happiness

Number five in my list of twelve transformative noetic essentials is the notion of joy. Joy, happiness, exuberance are conceptually intertwined as a state of being.

Unfortunately, this noetic essential is easily sabotaged by hidden angers and crippling fears. Obsessions and ephemeral guilt are likewise poisonous to joy. If these negative emotions can be flushed from your consciousness, then joy can be released in a tide of healing and buoyant noetic transformations.

I have selected five particularly valuable books for developing and understanding of joy, happiness, exuberance. I would recommend these books be read in the order in which they are presented for the sake of continuity.

- Dancing In The Streets, by Barbara Ehrenreich- The Geography of Bliss, by Eric Weiner- The Happiness Hypothesis, by Jonathan Haidt- Happy for No Reason, by Marci Shimoff- Exuberance, by Kay Redfield Jamison

6) Optimism: Hope, Creativity, and Positive Intuition

In my profile of twelve transformative noetic essentials, number six is Optimism. Without doubt, one of the most healing and generative forces possessed by the human mind is the capacity for optimism. Optimism suffuses creativity, hope, and positive awareness.

Learning to use subconscious resources for maximizing the transformative power of optimism is crucial. The list of books presented below provide a wealth of insight for creatively using the subconscious mind. The eight books, when read in sequence, move from subconscious resources to active and concrete everyday behaviour.

- How To Enjoy Your Life In Spite of It All, by Ken Keyes, Jr.- Peace Is Every Step, by Thich Nhat Hanh- The Knack of Using Your Subconscious Mind, by John K. Williams- Your Maximum Mind, by Herbert Benson- The Act of Creation, by Arthur Koestler- Treat Yourself to Life, by Raymond Charles Barker- Head First, by Norman Cousins- Positive Living and Health, by the editors of Prevention magazine7) Reason: Logic, Empiricism, Science, Knowledge, Wisdom

Number seven in my list of transformative noetic essentials is Reason. I have connected reason with such intellectual pursuits as logic, and wisdom. All of these interwoven ideas listed in the title are supportive of the human quest for cultural enrichment and technical accomplishments. Reason needs to be appreciated as a historical dynamic as well as an epistemological accomplishment. The noetic realm is energized by reason and constructively builds civilization.

The eight books listed below, when read in sequence, explores reason and the corollary concepts mentioned in the title. Many more books could be added to the list, yet these eight are extraordinarily brilliant and thorough.

- The Dream of Reason, by Anthony Gottlieb- Ingenious Pursuits, by Lisa Jardine- Science, Order, and Creativity, by David Bohm and F. David Peat- Return to Reason, by Stephen Toulmin- Towards a New World View, by Russel E. Di Carlo- Intellectual Capital, by Thomas A. Stewart- From Knowledge to Wisdom, by Nicholas Maxwell- A Passion for Wisdom, by Robert C. Solomon and Kathleen M Higgins8)Purpose Leadership

The eighth transformative noetic essential I have listed as Purpose. It seems reasonable to me to link purpose with leadership.

All human endeavours, whether small scale personal matters, or massive scale national issues, are all fed in a healthy state by creative purpose and constructive leadership.

I have selected seven books relevant to this topic which I will list in a sequence for building a coherent approach to purpose and leadership.- The Power of Four, by Joseph Marshall III- Making Waves and Riding the Currents, by Charles Halpern- Leading with Kindness, by William Baker and Michael O'Malley- Leadership and the New Science, by Margaret Wheatley- Managing for the Future, by Peter Drucker- Microtrends, by Mark Penn- The Black Swan, by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

9) Harmony: From the Personal to the Global

For at least two and a half millennia, Taoism has energized Oriental culture with the theme of harmony vis-a-vis humanity with nature vis-a-vis the personal with the communal. In recent generations, western intellectuals have borrowed from the east to enrich the west. This process has been troubled with the cross currents of war and civil disturbances of every kind.

Now more than ever the west needs to ingest harmony as an ethos and build personal as well as communal life on the energy of harmony.

The books listed below build on this line of thought, from the personal to the global.- Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor E. Frankl- Love Is Letting Go of Fear, by Gerald G. Jampolsky- No Boundary, by Ken Wilber- The Roots of Coincidence, by Arthur Koestler- The Phenomenon of Man, by Teilhard de Chardin- The Book of Balance and Harmony, by Thomas Cleary- Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu- Speeches That Changed the World, introduction by Simon Sebag Montefiore- Civil Society in Question, by Jamie Swift

10) Compassion: Empathy, Civility, Respect, and Tolerance

In my list of twelve noetic transformative essentials, compassion is number ten. For untold centuries, Buddhism has focused on compassion as a central theme. For well over a century, western thought has been borrowing from eastern philosophical streams. Recently, compassion has become a mainstream line of social analysis and even scientific research. Many concepts are woven together related to compassion. I believe compassion is the most active perception of such ideas, however, there are more passive conceptions such as tolerance.

I have chosen seven books which develop this line of thought in North American culture. If read in sequence as presented, these seven books provide a powerful shift in the view of the human condition with potential salvational implications for the future.

- Born for Love, by Maia Szalavitz and Bruce Perry- Born to be Good, by Dacher Keltner- The Age of Empathy, by Frans de Waal- The Empathic Civilization, by Jeremy Rifkin- Wired to Care, by Dev Patnaik- A Paradise Built in Hell, by Rebecca Solnit- The Moral Landscape, by Sam Harris

11) Generosity: A Necessary Essential for the Successful Evolution of the Noosphere

No essential in the noetic realm (noosphere) is more crucial than generosity. Humanity is hard wired for sharing as a necessary condition for human survival from the origins of Homo sapiens over 100,000 years ago to the civilized order of contemporary urban life.

The literature base chosen for this essential consists of 4 anthropologists, 2 economists and 3 historians of religion. Whether the subject is paleoanthropology or massive nation states, all authors chosen provide powerful arguments for the role of generosity as the essential necessary for human survival in any environmental or organizational context.

The previous essential, compassion, linked with this essential, generosity, characterize the caring and sharing necessary to the noetic realm even though many scientists may fail to appreciate this reality. Without sharing and caring there is no humanity.

- Origins, by Richard E. Leaky- Women's Work, by Elizabeth Wayland Barber- When God Was a Woman, by Merlin Stone- The Way of the Shaman, by Michael Harner- The Spirit of Shamanism, by Roger N. Walsh- A Seat at the Table, by Huston Smith- The Invisible Heart, by Nancy Folbre- Systems of Survival, by Jane Jacobs- Buddha, by Karen Armstrong

12) Spirituality: The Interplay of the Human Mind and the Divine Realm

Spirituality, the twelfth and last of the transformative noetic essentials, is a realm of inquiry which brings the entire profile into focus.

This noetic essential stimulates an inquiry into five of the most important questions which need to be addressed by any civilization.

1) What is the nature of the cosmos?2) What is a truly healthy relationship with the environment?3) What is a generative and vital ethical framework for any civil order?4) What is an intuitive and insightful understanding of oneself?5) How does the human mind engage with the metaphysical dimensions of mind with the mystical essence of spirit?

The twelve books presented below attempt answers in an organic and multidimensional manner to these fundamental questions. The interplay of science and religion, and a rich understanding of history as well as a thorough appreciation for cultural anthropology, help to conclude this profile in a thoughtful and clarifying manner.

- The Fifth Miracle: The Search for the Origin and Meaning of Life, by Paul Davies- The Physics of Immortality, by Frank J. Tipler- Belonging to the Universe, by Fritjof Capra & David Steindl-Rast- The Great Transformation, by Karen Armstrong- Gnosis, by Kurt Rudolph- Essays on World Religion, by Huston Smith- Shamanism, by Shirley Nicholson- States of Grace, by Charlene Spretnak- Peace, Love & Healing, by Bernie S. Siegel- Gaia & God, by Rosemary Radford Ruether- An Altar in the World, by Barbara Brown Taylor- The Best Buddhist Writing series, edited by Melvin McLeod

Part I: IntroductionSection 1: You and Your EmotionsIntroduction

There is more to the individual person than a physical body. There are energy fields, subtle and extremely complex, which are an important part of the whole person. These energy fields can be experienced in a variety of ways, one of which is as certain feelings. These feelings, although associated with the physical body, are actually forms of energy and are thus not limited to the body. As fields of energy they are also outside the body.

By becoming more sensitive to these energies and by becoming aware of what they actually feel like enables the individual to become more sensitive to similar feelings in others. However, being sensitive to the feelings in others does not mean merely to see sadness in another persons face, for example, and thus deduce that s/he is unhappy. Rather, in the apparently empty space between two people the feeling energies of each are being transferred and thus experienced by the other. The result is that the first person feels the unhappiness of the other.

It is important to understand this process for a number of reasons. In the first place, you must understand and recognize that you are not always feeling your own feelings. When in the company of an angry person, you may begin to feel angry yourself for no apparent reason. What is happened is that you are feeling the other persons anger through the transfer of the energies between you. However, the consciousness with which you experience that anger is the same as the consciousness with which you would experience your own, self-generated anger. Therefore, it may become difficult to distinguish just whose anger it is--yours or that of the person you are with.

Furthermore, if you spend time with an angry person and begin to feel his/her anger, the feelings that are generated may bring to mind things about which you could get angry. The result, of course, is that both of you are now angry. Fortunately, this process happens with pleasant feelings as well. Spending time with a happy person elicits a feeling of happiness in you as his/her energies are transferred across the space between you.

Too often, however, your everyday encounters are with people whose feelings are negative; who are experiencing undercurrents of vague fear, anger, worry, hostility. Their feelings may be confused, jumbled or chaotic, causing you to experience confusion, anxiety and unrest. You are then likely to believe these are your own feelings rather than merely feelings you have picked up from someone else. As a result you tend to lose your own sense of identity and authority and start to believe that you are a helpless victim of negative feelings in general.

Being less sensitive to others feelings may seem to be the solution to this problem. However, this simply deadens you to what is actually going on. Instead, it is imperative that you become more sensitive to the feelings that are being created through your relationship with others and constantly monitor your own reactions. In this way you are then able to distinguish whether your negative feelings are a legitimate report of your own inner condition--a signal that something needs attention, or whether they are the result of the energy transfer of feelings from the person you are with. If you are experiencing someone elses negativity, you are then able to use this knowledge to restore your own sense of balance. At the same time, you are now in a much better position to contribute to the other persons well-being by transferring your own positive feelings across the energy field between you, allowing him/her to experience your sense of a clear and conscious balance. Two Opposite Mind/Body Responses For a generation now a Harvard team, headed by Herbert Bensen, M.D., has been working on the issue of mind/body relationships and the basic responses they generate. Bensens book, The Maximum Mind, summarizes the research done at Harvard in a clear and brilliant manner. He, like a growing army of medical researchers, does regard the mind as dominant in mind/body relationships. Therefore, in one way or another the mind ultimately controls whether a given person is expressing a stress response or a relaxation response. If mind and body collaborate in one or the other of these two basic responses, they can be clearly measured in terms of physiological processes and in terms of a variety of neurological events.

Some of my most admired physicians who have contributed enormously to improving the human condition are Gerald Jampolsky in San Francisco, Bernie Segal in Hartford, Carl Simonton in Dallas and Herbert Benson in Boston. Hundreds of clinics, a large number of medical schools and an army of individual physicians are expanding on the work begun so brilliantly by Hans Selye in Montreal. A world-class psychiatric centre in Topeka, Kansas (Menninger) has made a vast contribution to this field also during the last generation.

If the mind mobilizes a stress response, then the body physiologically expresses the stress response. If the stress response surges for coping with a life-threatening situation, then the price the body pays is minimal and the response is appropriate. However, if the stress response becomes chronic and if its trigger is frequently occurring or vaguely generalized, then the body pays a price, which escalates incrementally over weeks, months or years. A chronic stress response can literally destroy the body bit by bit, year by year, until the damage may be life-limiting or life-threatening. A great many physicians now believe that a chronic manifestation of the stress response may play a very large role in generating various forms of cancer, digestive tract diseases, serious circulatory problems, skeletal pathologies and a host of other debilitating medical issues. However serious the price may be that the body pays, it is also the case that relationships suffer dearly in every dimension of life. If the mind generates the opposite response, namely the relaxation response, quite a different story unfolds. If a person can contrive to manifest the relaxation response as a dominant experience, then the body regenerates itself. The relaxation response is a healing response, and its power is just as significant as the stress response even though the effect is opposite. My experience with individual clients has demonstrated over the years many unbelievable stories of self-managed regeneration in both physical and mental terms. The relaxation response releases incalculable capacities for constructive and regenerative purposes.

The basic mind/body interface can be seen as a variety of emotional states. These emotional states are either negative or positive and are reciprocals of each other. If the emotional state being experienced is essentially negative, then the positive emotions are crowded out. Happily, the opposite is also true. These emotional states constitute the primordial soup out of which mental and physical events emerge. I see the situation as a four- link chain of causation, which helps me to understand the process much more clearly. The first link is the basic emotional state. Second, thought patterns emerge out of the emotional state. Third, patterns of behaviour are derived from thought. Fourth, consequences are manifestations of the behaviour. In short, consequences can be traced back through the four links of causation to the basic emotional state. If the basic emotional state is a stress response, then the four-link chain of causation will be a negative chain resulting in negative consequences. If the basic emotional state is a relaxation response, then the four-link chain of causation will be a positive one and the consequences are therefore positive.

These basic emotions not only have a mind/body expression, they also have an internal and external expression. The internal and external manifestations are just as important to comprehend because of their impact on the external environment as well as the internal environment. Just as the mind is dominant over the body, the inner manifestation is dominant over the outer manifestation. What you are inside you necessarily radiates outside even though you may believe that your talent for dissembling is flawless. Nobody dissembles with any significant degree of effectiveness. Usually the only one fooled in the process is the dissembler, and those around are not kidded even though they may pretend to be. Thus ones inner emotional state radiates to the outer world in spite of it all. The four-link chain emerges from basic inner emotions to external consequences by way of either a positive chain or a negative chain of causation (see Table 1).

Table 1 looks at the relaxation response versus the stress response through five sets of emotional polarities. These emotional polarities make sense to me simply because they have emerged out of many years of working with individual clients as well as groups of students. I have tested this scheme involving the five sets of emotional polarities in a wide range of settings with people of many divergent backgrounds. My experience is that it has generally made sense to them. TABLE 1FIVE EMOTIONAL POLARITIES

STRESS RESPONSE RELAXATION RESPONSE

Anger Self-Awareness

Fear Joy

Guilt Tranquility

Resentment Affection

Self-Doubt Self-Esteem

There are two ways of looking at this table: first as the five sets of emotional polarities as reciprocal but opposing emotional states, second as two columns of emotional states under each basic response.

First, if you look at the left-hand column, you readily see an aggregate of five negative emotions, which, in their totality, are a formula for misery. Anger, fear, guilt, resentment and self-doubt can appear each in varying levels of severity or in a variety of combinations. Probably few people are smitten with all five negative emotions to such a high level that they totally crowd out any of the positive emotions. Yet, my experience leads me to believe that all too many of us manifest these negative emotions at levels, which are significantly limiting to our physical well-being and to our relationships.

It is even more unfortunate that these negative states can be deeply programmed at the subconscious level where the mischief potential is enormous because we tend to deal with them through the conscious devices of denial and avoidance. By doing this, any person experiencing these negative emotions at the subconscious level is, by the very nature of things, enslaved by them. This slavery precipitates the compulsive behaviours that a person fails to understand, the self-sabotaging strategies an individual engages in and a host of self-limiting barriers that all too many people generate.

Anybody can come up with a list of negative emotions that may be longer than my five or shorter. However, in my experience I find that I can deal with most issues concerning the stress response through exploring one or another of these five negative emotions whether they are consciously manifested or buried at the subconscious level. Obviously, if their manifestation is conscious, it is usually much easier to deal with them. However, if they are subconscious, their problem takes on a very different dimension. Through denial and avoidance an individual can seriously sabotage his/her own efforts of self-awareness, self-teaching or self-correcting.

To successfully deal with the stress response it is certainly necessary to draw on the minds innate capacity for self-awareness, self-teaching and self-correcting. This is the same mental resource drawn on for the creative process.

My experience leads me to believe that the two most dangerous negative emotions by far are anger and fear. In North America we tolerate high levels of aggressive, hostile behaviour. Our incredibly high level of domestic violence provides an alarming verification of this point. In the public arena hostile, aggressive behaviour is also extremely pervasive. The police, the courts and the legal system are clogged with the results of hostile, aggressive behaviour, which goes beyond the bounds of social and legal tolerance.

Most anger fails to reach the level of aggressive behaviour, which results in official intervention. For many people the anger remains relatively buried with its behavioural expression being more devious, indirect and non-specific. This sub rosa anger is extremely destructive to the body, crippling to relationships and debilitating to talent. This form of anger unnecessarily feeds arguments that are pointless, antagonisms that are groundless and barriers that are irrelevant. Anger is contagious even if it is subconscious, just as any emotion is contagious. Thus willy-nilly subconscious expression of anger radiates to the external world with poisonous effects.

At this point you may say to yourself that I am trying to push you into being a Pollyanna, spreading saccharine in your wake. This most assuredly is not the direction of my argument. Many people who exude a saccharine overlay are merely trying to cover up for deep and pervasive anger. The laugh of an angry person has a hard edge with a hollow ring. The laugh of a joyful person radiates warmth and delight. If you are in touch with yourself, you can tell the difference instantly.

Fear is as debilitating as anger. Many of the same points made about anger can be made about fear. Indeed, these two emotions are actually the flip side of each other. Through these two emotions the animal kingdom, as with mankind, has developed the fight or flight response as a survival mechanism. We have all seen animals which initiate an engagement with angry aggression only to turn tail and run. We have all seen animals who have run for it but when cornered turn on their attacker with ferocious savagery. Thus, fear and anger are, indeed, the flip side of each other.

All of us have been in situations where a difficult meeting reveals certain individuals switching from fearful behaviour to angry behaviour, and vice versa.

Fear, like anger, can become deeply pervasive and generalized. Also, it can be buried at the subconscious level as well as being a conscious emotion. Some common fears I run across are fear of the future, fear of the past, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of exposure and a galaxy of other fearful ghosts. These fears can come in elaborate combinations or they can be focused on a particular overwhelming circumstance. Male culture tends to be characterized by denial of fear and elaborate avoidance behaviour around this denial. On the other hand, female culture tends to deny anger and likewise engages in elaborate avoidance behaviour around this denial. Fear certainly gives rise to a panoply of compulsive behaviour patterns which the conscious mind finds either aggravating or downright embarrassing. These subconscious compulsions emerging out of fear create incredible tensions with conscious, rational thought. Thus stress is born. All too many people see stress primarily as externally induced by way of a lousy marriage or a rotten job. My experience leads me to believe that stress is magnified vastly by internal tensions and contradictions between compulsivity and reason, between subconscious and conscious events, between negative and positive emotions.

Ill quickly touch on the three other negative emotions that are less serious than anger and fear but do poison both individual and group environments. Guilt, resentment and self-doubt add interesting variations on the theme to the stress response. All of us experience these inner negative dynamics, yet they are not intractable or beyond resolution. It is true that some people can be crippled by self-doubt or guilt or even resentment, but these are extreme situations. Generally, people are merely diminished or limited by these ghostly negative emotions, which are making their contribution to the basic shape of the stress response.

Anyone who is made to feel guilty is diminished by the guilt, resulting in a self-perception of being flawed merchandise. Since nobody enjoys this experience, there is a subconscious tendency to convert heavy-duty guilt into a variety of fears or pervasive anger. Western culture has used guilt as a behaviour-control strategy.

Consequently, many parents emerge with black belts and guilt-tripping, and just as unfortunately many teachers and others in authority guilt-trip. This behaviour-control strategy is extremely counterproductive and self-defeating. You may be able to induce guilt in others by shaming them, yet they likely will find a way to retaliate by continuing the behaviour, which drew the shaming in the first place. As a result the behaviour persists, overlaid with the misery of guilt. There are far better ways to create cooperative human behaviour than by producing the stress response.

Another troublesome negative emotion is resentment. Generally, people resent other persons to whom they are closely related or involved with in prolonged association. In short, you resent those you know best. Its hardly worth resenting strangers or emotionally neutral objects. It lies at the level of aggravation and annoyance. The tendency is to resent someone over a particular item of behaviour or mannerism. Being irritated by someones warts and foibles is a diverting pastime but it can become very serious and very destructive. I have been told by friends, in all seriousness, that toilet paper is loaded on the spindle only one way to do it right.

Unfortunately, other members of the family insist on doing it wrong. Out of such nonsense serious conflicts gradually emerge, overwhelming the positive and the delightful elements of a relationship. If resentment is fed generously enough, it can be converted into pervasive anger with all the destructive consequences. If a relationship is worth preserving, it is worth identifying the resentments and releasing them before they fester. This is as true at work as it is at home.

The last negative emotion is self-doubt. The impostor phenomenon draws its juice from self-doubt with all the inherent, self-limiting implications. Through self-doubt a person projects him/herself into the future with negative anticipations. Therefore, self-doubt provides the framework for writing a negative script and then acting on the script.

Self-doubt is definitely pervasive, and it is not difficult to aggravate this negative emotion. Male chauvinism not only fosters self-doubt among women, but it also feeds the self-doubt of the male chauvinist. No one wins.

Section 2 The New Age View of StressIntroduction Todays highly competitive world encourages the belief that people charged with leadership must not display weakness, vulnerability or personal inadequacies of many sorts. This belief system tends to create a most unfortunate condition whereby professionals and managers often deny the pervasive as well as serious manifestations of stress. Since stress cumulates month by month and year by year, it may be possible to deny the symptoms long after the considerable accumulation of physical and emotional damage, to say nothing of the destructive effects on personal relationships, has occurred. Few adults in todays environment escape the mental and physical depletion caused by stress. There are important signs that should be watched for which may indicate that the stress levels are well above the comfort zone. Some of these signs are: 1. Do you grind your teeth at night or do you flex your jaw muscles during the day? 2. Do you have frequent intermittent headaches for no organic reason? 3. Do you sometimes have visual disturbances for which your physician can find no cause? 4. Does your digestive system sometimes feel like a knotted cord? 5. Do you breathe in short, shallow breaths? 6. Are you plagued by disturbances in your sleep? 7. Do you chronically suffer from cold hands and feet? 8. Do you feel vexed by lapses in memory and concentration? 9. Do you often feel fatigue for which your physician can find no reason? 10. Do you frequently feel that your interpersonal relationships suffer from tension? The 10 symptoms in the above list are extremely common. Any one of them can make your life uncomfortable and deplete your professional performance as well as your personal life. All too many people regard these symptoms as either normal or perhaps inescapable. If you take this view and simply let the tension and stress eat at your body, you may find yourself the unhappy owner of a serious clinical crisis. The Harvard team led by Herbert Benson, a pre-eminent physician in this field, has provided a wealth of research that is extremely helpful in developing an understanding of stress as a group problem as well as an individual problem. Another team, equally useful, is located at Executive Health Examiners. Their book, Stress Management for the Executive, is brilliantly clear and very much oriented to a New Age point of view. A few quotes from this book will be found in the following pages. As discussed in Chapter 1, the stress response is a negative physical and mental state shaped and propelled by five basic negative emotions: anger, fear, guilt, resentment and self- doubt. These internal emotions are either hidden or manifest, severe or slight, but to some degree and in some combination are present in everyone. The problem is how to identify these negative emotional states and how to change them. The four-link chain of causation does mean that these negative emotional states take shape as negative thinking and are then expressed as negative behaviour, which then precipitates negative consequences. By way of the four-link chain of causation, the misery at the individual level becomes the disruption at the group level. A critical mass of such emotional conditions present in enough individuals can gravely disrupt any organization at the top or at the bottom. Stress is not trivial even though by objective analysis many things, which trigger stress, are themselves quite trivial. This is the tragedy of stress: the magnifying of triviality into unwarranted crisis. The five basic negative emotions are the means by which we magnify problems and invent calamity. I would like to finish this section with a delightful quote from the book by Executive Health Examiners mentioned above. The quote was taken from a poem by Charles Bukowski. Its not the large things that send a man to the madhouse . . .not the death of his love but a shoelace that snaps with no time left . . . The Cost of Stress It is my firm opinion, after 30 years of experience in human resources work, that stress is pervasive throughout the marketplace, and that stress generates enormous financial costs as well as costs in human capital. For example, recent studies in the U.S. indicate that one-fifth of American professionals and managers are involved with the abuse of a wide range of chemicals and drugs. Suggested cost to the American marketplace is $60 billion annually. It is also estimated that headaches and other forms of stress-related pain generate approximately $50 billion of market place costs. Per capita in the United States, the consumption of physician- prescribed mood-altering drugs averages 80 tablets per year per person. Over half of the sales of any drugstore are in response to ailments which are principally stress-related. Many experts believe that stress is an important component in aggravating acute or deteriorative diseases. Stress can reduce the ability of your immune system to fight off respiratory ailments. High blood pressure and other cardiovascular problems can be seriously aggravated by stress. Asthma and a variety of allergies appear often to be triggered by stress. Clinicians at the Menninger Foundation in Topeka, Kansas have for a generation treated migraine headaches as a straightforward symptom of stress. The individual medical concerns that stress generates are real and they are serious. Problems of the mind do inevitably become problems of the body. The Menninger Foundation has provided clinical leadership in this field for over a generation. The group significance generated from the medical symptoms of stress is clearly seen by Menninger physician, John C. Connelly. A piece of his appears in the book by Executive Health Examiners. Our society is quick to recognize the positive effects of change but slow to acknowledge and deal with the stresses and instability that invariably accompany it. There is no doubt in my mind that a significant part of the vague uneasiness and apprehension that so pervade our society is the result of all the changes taking place around us that we cannot control. Its easy to become overwhelmed so that we either throw up our hands and feel there is nothing that we can control, or we rigidly hang on to what we have, fearing that even that will be lost. Its no wonder that people tend to resist change, and the more unstable a persons life, the more desperately s/he clings to what he has even if what s/he has isnt very good. The list of such issues could go on and on, but the point is: Is there an alternative to the massive financial and human costs associated with stress? Stress Management Thousands of outstanding clinicians such as leading psychotherapists and physicians have created a vast amount of research and experience in the area of successful stress management without detriment to motivation, ambition or dynamic leadership. The previously mentioned Menninger Clinic pioneered this field, and today pioneers such as Gerald Jampolsky, Hans Selye, Dennis Jaffe, R. L. Woolford, R. Richardson, Norman Cousins and Neil Oleshan, to name only a few, are continuing the work. It is now quite firmly established that 20 minutes of carefully coached daily exercises for a period of a few weeks to a few months can drastically diminish the physical and emotional damage done by stress. Although physical exercise is an important ingredient, along with a carefully designed nutritional program, the real key to successful stress management lies with mental exercises, which actually change physical and emotional conditions. For example, through mental power you can learn to raise the temperature of your hands and feet by 5-10oC. Strange as it may seem, you can even be trained to use your mind to voluntarily reduce blood pressure. In fact, the mind can be used as an unbelievably powerful agent to work positively for your benefit and your physical enhancement. These mental exercises include a number of techniques, which are related in that they all draw on the vast resources of the subconscious mind. But the techniques do vary in emphasis and style. Some individuals, for personal reasons, prefer one technique over others even though all of them may achieve roughly the same results. These techniques all involve reprogramming the subconscious mind so that greater conscious control is generated over specific behaviours, which are proving to be a problem. The process is not so much a clinical procedure as would be performed by a physician through surgery or pharmaceuticals, but rather the techniques associated with mental exercises are best seen as a training process or a coaching program much like athletics. Some of the best-known techniques are: biofeedback training, progressive relaxation, training in positive imaging, programmed meditation, creative personal affirmations and hypno-training or self-hypnosis. If these techniques are performed for 20 minutes a day for a period of a few months, the resulting physical and behavioural changes can appear almost miraculous. Through a wealth of research, Herbert Benson and the Harvard team, in parallel with many other teams across the nation, have clearly delineated the physiological and anatomical dimensions of the stress response versus the relaxation response. Such measurements include differences in respiration, blood pressure, heart rate, gastric fluid production, hormone production, brainwave patterns and innumerable other factors. Even though stress can be quantified through such measurements, it is not a sufficient understanding of stress. All these physicians realize that stress is essentially a mental manifestation with measurable physical consequences. Such physicians, therefore, approach the management of stress through mind- training techniques rather than through palliative pharmaceuticals. Indeed, mind training is very much the issue. If appropriate techniques are used in mind training, the physical consequences of stress can be dramatically reduced or even more dramatically they can be reversed. The behavioural and social consequences of stress can be just as dramatically changed as physical symptoms. There are many techniques for safe and effective training of the human mind for enhanced performance. In Your Maximum Mind, Herbert Benson provides an 8-step process for mobilizing the inherent qualities of the mind for self-awareness, self-teaching and self- correcting. His training process is simple and straightforward and certainly practical. In the following quote the 8-step process is clearly described. Step 1. Pick a focus word or short phrase thats firmly rooted in your personal belief system. For example, a Christian person might choose The Lord is my Shepherd, a Jewish person Shalom, a non-religious person a neutral word like one or peace. Step 2. Sit quietly in a comfortable position.Step 3. Close your eyes.Step 4. Relax your muscles.Step 5. Breathe slowly and naturally, and as you do, repeat your focus word or phrase as you exhale. Step 6. Assume a positive attitude. Dont worry about how well youre doing. When other thoughts come to mind, simply say to yourself, Oh, well, and gently return to the repetition. Step 7. Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. Step 8. Practice the technique once or twice daily.

For many years now affirmations have been promoted as a technique by as diverse professionals as Lou Coffey-Lewis, a human resources specialist, and Gerald Jampolsky, a psychiatrist. From a human resources point of view, Lou Coffey-Lewis has done a great job in pulling the various training techniques together for rewiring subconscious pathways to improve performance and to heighten organizational effectiveness. She understands the simplicity of the training approach very well, and her most practical book, Be Restored to Health, clearly describes these approaches. For many years I have used affirmations in both my personal and professional life with powerful benefits. I hasten to say that denial and avoidance hang-ups can sabotage affirmations just as they can sabotage any other useful approach. If used properly, affirmations are so simple they seem almost absurd. Simple they are, but absurd they are not. Nevertheless, you need to follow a few simple principles to make affirmations work for you. In constructing your affirmations, remember these points: 1. State your affirmation simply. 2. Keep the focus clear. 3. State the affirmation in the present tense. 4. State the affirmation as achieved perfection. 5. Repeat the affirmation to yourself on a scheduled basis. 6. Repeat the affirmation when you are most relaxed. 7. Maintain a passive attitude while repeating the affirmation. 8. Do not argue with the affirmation. 9. Write the affirmation for visual reinforcement. You will find suggested affirmations for each day in the second part of this book. However, I suggest that you write your own affirmations for greatest relevance. Another approach which I make extensive use of with myself and my individual clients I refer to as structured meditation. I encourage people to use this technique on a daily basis, targeting approximately 20 minutes for the exercise. I vary the technique for some clients by emphasizing such skills as biofeedback training, autogenic training, creative visualization, etc. Many people like to use an audiotape to guide the process, while others perform the exercise without the guidance of a tape. The approach is eclectic and very effective. The only serious self-sabotaging hazards are deeply pervasive angers and fears. Anyone can learn to acknowledge these hazards and to passively deal with them rather than letting them sabotage the exercise. Here is a point-by-point description of the structured meditation exercise. 1. Sit in a comfortable chair with head supported or lie prone on a comfortable surface. 2. Centre your body by moving about until the greatest degree of comfort is achieved. 3. Begin to breathe deeply and slowly and regularly with each cycle being approximately a count of 10. 4. Repeat the deep breathing for roughly 20 cycles. 5. Now, create a scenario in your mind that is positive, meaningful and even mirthful. 6. Let the scenario develop passively without forcing it or quibbling. 7. If something negative should intrude on the scenario, then use the four-step formula for release. First, passively accept the presence of the negative intrusion; second, permit yourself to learn something about yourself as a lesson offered by the negative intrusion; third, export the negative thought by metaphor, such as burning it in a furnace, pitching it into a body of water or releasing it attached to a gas balloon; fourth, redirect your energy back to the positive scenario. 8. Continue running the scenario in your mind for 2 or 3 minutes. 9. Begin to focus on the relaxation process by counting backward from 21. 10. When you reach the count of one, affirm to yourself that you are now completely relaxed and at peace. 11. Now that you have achieved a relaxed state, visualize important scenes at work, in the family or at play as a positive statement of desired conditions. 12. Practice one or more of these scenes in each exercise. 13. Acknowledge to yourself that you are ready to return to the external world by counting to three. 14. At the count of three take one last deep breath and affirm that you are glad to be alive and slowly stretch and resume normal activity. Generally, the point is to reduce or eliminate the stress response and to greatly amplify the relaxation response. The remaining part of this chapter is devoted to an instrument for identifying emotional and behavioural factors, which suggest the presence of stress. I call this instrument STRESS- DEX. The scoring system has a maximum count of 100 which, of course, would indicate total flameout. This instrument is not a clinical tool for diagnostic work but rather it represents an approach for self-identification and self-instruction. You will probably score yourself on each item at a lower level than your mate or your colleagues would do. In this matter, like many others, it is tempting to fudge the issue in order to con ourselves just a little bit. STRESS-DEX This is a list of symptoms you may encounter when you experience stress. Note each symptom and indicate the degree to which you experience it by placing the number on the lines to the left: 1 (not at all), 2 (a little), 3 (somewhat), 4 (moderately), 5 (very much). ____ 1. I have frequent headaches for no known organic reason.____ 2. I am bothered by disturbances in my sleep.____ 3.I chronically suffer from cold hands and feet.____ 4. I frequently feel that my interpersonal relationships suffer from tension.____ 5. My digestive system sometimes feels like a knotted cord.____ 6. I feel vexed by lapses in memory and concentration.____ 7. My heart often beats very fast.____ 8. I feel jittery in my body.____ 9. I worry too much. ____ 10.I get diarrhea.____ 11. I imagine terrifying scenes.____ 12. I pace nervously.____ 13. I become immobilized.____ 14. I cant make up my mind soon enough.____ 15. I perspire excessively.____ 16. I breathe in short, shallow breaths.____ 17. I grind my teeth at night.____ 18. I am frequently angry or irritable.____ 19. I often feel fatigued for no apparent reason.____ 20. I feel guilty when I take time out to relax.

If you scored over 40 you very likely should be taking remedial action, such as a training program to relieve the underlying causes of your stress.As mentioned before, the intent of this chapter is aimed at a better understanding of stress as both an individual debilitator as well as a form of disinvestment for the organization. This connection is crucial because it reveals the relationship between individual minds and the dynamics of organizational culture. As discussed in earlier chapters, the four-link chain of causation is either a negative sequence or a positive one. If negative emotions dominate an individual personality and if there is a critical mass of such persons in an organization, then the effect can be quite disruptive to the organization. Negative emotions can give rise to patterns of behaviour which become strategies of life for a given person. In organizational terms a coalescence of such strategies can result in behavioural systems that become part of the organizational culture. Thus, negative behavioural systems become a capital disinvestment for the individual and for the company. The next chapter will explore five major strategies that emerge out of the stress response and, in doing go, become inhibitory factors for the company or, in fact, any other social organization. Negative life strategies rarely are isolated to one particular social setting. Stressful patterns in the family can readily be transferred to the work setting, and vice versa. Few people segment life with any degree of consistency or success. In the following chapter these issues are explored.

Section 3 Blocks to FulfillmentIntroductionAn addiction is an emotion-backed demand or desire for something you tell yourself you must have to be happy. Addictions, or addictive demands, can be on yourself, other people, objects or situations. You can always tell when you have an addiction because:1. It creates tension in your body. 2. It makes you experience separating emotions, such as resentment, anger, fear, jealousy, worry, anxiety and boredom. Look into your own experience and notice how the above emotions make you feel separate from yourself and others. Separating emotions are contrasted with unifying emotions, which give you experiences of acceptance, love, joy, happiness, peace and purpose in life. 3. Your mind is insistently telling you that things must be different in order for you to enjoy your life here and now. 4. Your mind makes you think there is something important to win or lose in this situation-- that your happiness depends on the soap opera. 5. You feel that you have a problem in your life--instead of experiencing life as an enjoyable game to be played. (Reprinted from How to Enjoy Your Life in Spite of It All by Ken Keyes, Jr., Copyright 1980 by Living Love Publications) This quote neatly summarizes a point of view toward addictions, which I have found to have enormous explanatory power and practical application. Ken Keyes has contributed, as much as anyone has done, to the understanding of addictions. Another important contribution has been made by John Bradshaw in a television series broadcast by PBS. The series is entitled Bradshaw on the Family. These two men and other people look at addictions from a New Age point of view focusing on the emotional dimensions of the various compulsivities which drive addictive strategies.Ken Keyes focuses on three addictive strategies of life, which I have adapted and extended as a result of my own teaching and experience with individual clients. In this chapter I will explore the five addictive strategies as blocks to fulfillment and as major themes of the chronic stress response (see Table 2).

TABLE 2FIVE ADDICTIVE STRATEGIES OF LIFE

1.THE POWER ADDICTIONThe compulsion to dominate others even though it may be counterproductive.

2.THE DEPENDENCY ADDICTIONA compulsive need to cling to one or more people even if it is self- sabotaging.

3.

THE CONFLICT ADDICTIONPrecipitating win/lose situations even when there is no need for it.

4.

THE SECURITY ADDICTIONA focused or pervasive drive to eliminate risk even though you may aggravate it.

5.THE SUBSTANCE ADDICTION

A periodic or pervasive dependency on one or more chemicals, foods, drugs, etc.

I will explore these five addictive strategies of life to better understand the disinvestment consequences of them along with some insight for unhooking from these strategies. More than you may realize these addictive strategies can become major organizing themes of behaviour in a wide variety of situations but always they will have negative consequences. The negative emotions discussed in Chapter 1 provide the primordial soup out of which these addictive strategies emerge. As systems of behaviour they can therefore be traced back to emotional states. It would be handy to remember the four-link chain of causation discussed in Chapter 1 and Chapter 2.The Power AddictionAs Ken Keyes, John Bradshaw and others see it, this addiction and others are energized by states of compulsivity, which block judicious choice, normal prudence, a sense of discretion and a healthy free will. When you look at a power addiction with these things in mind, it is most likely that several friends or acquaintances pop into mind. All of us know people who have a need to dominate other people in a way, which lacks charm or sensitivity. It may be that such a person will target his/her efforts primarily on one or more family members, or it may be that the target or targets are primarily outside the family. This addiction, like all others, can be triggered by specific situations or particular individuals. Furthermore, the addiction may be episodic rather than continuously present. This addiction and the others can be anywhere from trifling to overwhelming.The compulsivities, which drive addictions, by their very nature, have self-sabotaging consequences. The self-sabotaging consequences are there simply because of the absence of discretion, prudence, restraint, etc. The drive to dominate another person may so completely discomfort that person that s/he rebels or retreats completely from the relationship. Such a loss obviously sabotages the quest for domination.It is impossible to escape in normal social situations power dimensions of relationships. This is obviously true at work, dealing with officialdom such as the police, and even in organized recreational settings. However, it is just as important to recognize the power relationships that exist between parents and children and other dimensions of the kinship systems. Even though power is pervasive, it need not be unjust, unreasonable, irrational or capricious. Ordinarily power is used with a sense of propriety and appropriateness to say nothing of prudence.When power is manifested addictively, then it becomes capricious and irrational. The compulsivities driving the power addiction generate stress in the perpetrator as well as stress in the recipient. The compulsive capriciousness poisons the relationship and diminishes both the recipient and the perpetrator.Recently I had a client who came to me because she wanted to quit smoking. During the training process I worked with her in regard to a number of dimensions of her life. She was a tough 45 year old who complained bitterly about the alienation of her children and hostility to her on the part of her employees.It soon became evident to me, and somewhat later to her, that she had more than one addiction. Smoking was definitely a health problem and constituted a deeply fixed addiction. But the power addiction that she radiated toward family and colleagues had built within her an enormous reservoir of stress and vague apprehensions. The stress generated by her power addiction was complicating her efforts to detach herself from the nicotine addiction.Her conscious struggle with her smoking amplified the stress and seriously aggravated the anger and power-tripping directed toward other people. It gradually became clear to her that she was in a bind of major proportions, which had been protected over the years by an elaborate network of denial and avoidance.Gradually in my relationship with her the overwhelming question shifted from Why was she compelled to smoke? to Why was she compelled to dominate family and colleagues? Her power addiction resulted in an intense sense of loneliness and isolation as well as chronic and pervasive apprehensions. She decided herself that if she could unhook from her desperate need to dominate, she could then much more effectively tackle the problem of smoking.I followed this strategy with her and taught her the necessary techniques to accomplish the first job. She used them successfully and began a process of profound changes in her style of relating to those around her. After this victory was achieved, it indeed was a straightforward matter to teach her how to unhook from smoking.She discovered that her power addiction was traceable to her childhood. In her family environment the parents were both weak and vacillating. They demonstrated affection erratically and ineffectually. Very early in her childhood my client developed the need to control the flow of affection and control its predictability. Over time the problem with affection emerged as a drive to dominate.As what happens in these circumstances, the pattern became fixed at the subconscious level. As she matured it remained fixed, and through adulthood this childhood problem took shape as an organizing principle of behaviour, namely her power addiction.As she developed her understanding of this deep-seated subconscious emotional hang- up, she was able to reprogram her subconscious fixation to a new program which allowed for relationships relatively free of the drive to dominate.The Dependency AddictionThe dependency addiction is just another strategy which is generally anchored in childhood. Again, the childhood problem concerns the matter of affection. It is a truism to state that the most crucial issue in childhood is the matter of affection. Of course, nourishment and safety are critical to survival, but so is affection.If one or the other parent is erratic or unreliable in demonstrating unqualified affection, then the child has a problem. If parents bargain with affection or if they are prone to be neglectful or even abusive, the child has a problem which escalates in severity.The dependency addiction can emerge as a pattern of behaviour which tries to solve problems precipitated by the erratic flow of affection or the withdrawal of affection.An important thing to remember is that children are powerless. In particular, infancy is a totally dependent condition actively shaped by the outside world. At this stage the need for reliable affection is fundamental and utterly essential.Through the behavioural tactics of the dependency addiction, the child can attempt to manipulate the outside world by trying to get control over the flow of affection. This is done through a compulsive need to cling. The clinging becomes more frenetic and more insistent through time as an effort to assuage fear in regard to the possibility that affection will not be forthcoming.Thus the subconscious program is set and the person grows up desperately clinging to those identified as sources of affection. The fear of rejection drives this compulsion in a relentless and desperate fashion.When thinking of the dependency addiction, it is tempting to see it as a problem characteristic of women and half-grown children. Nevertheless, I have worked with senior male executives who have manifested this problem, particularly in the domestic arena. A few years ago a vice-president of a major oil company came to me for some training in preventing stress. Indeed, he was extremely stressed with many of the classic manifestations of a highly stressed life.Although he functioned competently in his role as vice-president, he was, at age 50, very close to burnout. He was beginning to see himself as inadequate and vulnerable to some of the younger senior staff. While exploring various dimensions of his life, I discovered a revealing and crucial fact of behaviour, although the information did come with very grudging reluctance.When work ended on Friday afternoon, he went directly home and went to bed. He stayed there until Monday morning and then with difficulty he tore himself from the bedroom to go to the office. Throughout his weekend he demanded that his wife pamper him in every conceivable way. She brought him meals in bed and even allowed the family poodle to stay in bed with him for comfort.It turned out that his current wife had married him only recently, and she was number five. When I began working with him, she let it be known that he was very close to needing number six wife because she found his clinging suffocating and intolerable. He had obviously used the same strategy in earlier marriages, resulting in the disaster of divorce.My client was an extremely bright man and responded very quickly to the training regime. As he developed insight into his clinging behaviour, he was able to use the training tools to unhook from his childlike dependency. As this behaviour pattern abated, the stress level began a dramatic decline. As the stress level declined and the offensive behaviour diminished, his wife became a good deal more affectionate.As the domestic situation rapidly improved, there was a clear and dramatic effect on his situation at the office. His self-esteem flowered considerably along with a dramatically renewed sense of joy in his work. His work behaviour improved so much that after only 6 months he received a substantial promotion. Whereas before he began the training regime he was desperately fearful of a demotion.It may have occurred to you already that the dependency addiction is as much a need to control as is the power addiction. That is true. Indeed, these two addictions are the flip side of each other. It is also quite true that a given individual can manifest both strategies, depending on the circumstances or the persons involved.Many of us have married friends who engage in an elaborate dance of playing the power/dependency game. In one situation the husband plays a power-tripping role and his wife clings in an infantile manner. Change the situation and the couple may reverse the power/dependency relationship. The effort consumed in this game can be so enormous that it leaves little time or energy for more constructive pursuits.The dependency addiction generates just as much stress as does the power addiction. Most assuredly dependency debilitates a relationship and diminishes the recipient and the perpetrator alike. The self-consequences of this addiction can easily result in the loss of the very person that the addiction is trying to control. Thus the addiction accomplishes the very opposite of that which the addiction is all about--the ultimate self-sabotaging consequence.The Conflict AddictionThe cultural ethos of our society provides a social milieu which tends to disguise and to cover up the pervasive conflict addiction. For millennia Western society has shaped its literature, its politics and its social relationships through institutionally sanctioned modes of conflict. A clich of today provides a sample. A few generations ago the phrase rule of thumb was much more than a clich. In English common law, rule of thumb meant that you could beat your wife with a weapon so long as the weapon was not thicker than a mans thumb. Many activists engaged in the animal protection movement of last century often observed that the new animal protection laws were more solicitous of horses and dogs than any legal recourse available to children. Only within the last generation has there been a serious effort to legally protect children against excessive parental violence.However, the conflict addiction most often is not expressed in violent attack. In this era we are becoming far less tolerant of violence, even in such places as prisons. Although the media still foster violence as a problem-solving strategy, our legislative and legal systems are definitely waging a major effort to discourage this form of conflict.Mostly conflict is demonstrated through disputation, competitive practices and other forms of abrasive relationships. Conflict can be manifested in indirect and disguised behaviour. Even though the conflict may be disguised and indirect, its effects are in no way limited. The counterproductive, negative and stressful consequences are just as present when conflict is socially controlled and socially sanctioned.The essence of the conflict addiction lies in the compulsivity behind it. The driving need to foster win/lose situations removes the element of restraint, of judicious choice and of prudence from the behavioural context. The compulsivity brings about the self-sabotaging dimension of the conflict addiction. If a person enters into conflict without prudence, s/he is as likely to lose the contest as s/he is to win it.Because conflict is so widely sanctioned, it becomes difficult to finger the addictive persons. This failure to identify the situation leads to a failure to correct the situation. Worse still, our view of ambition and success is fed significantly by the notion of relentless competition, struggle and conflict.You may suspect that the alternative to the conflict addiction is wimpiness or the doormat syndrome. In no way am I suggesting such a thing. Some conflict is unavoidable. But much conflict is avoidable, and organizations would be healthier if we used successful techniques for avoiding conflict or effectively resolving it when it occurs.The roots of the conflict addiction are much the same as they are for power and dependency. This addiction is just another childhood strategy for resolving the problem of affection. The powerlessness of childhood tends to promote the self-destructive strategies very early in the game when affection is withheld or erratic. I am sure all of us have had experience with children who have extraordinary talents for creating a tumult among the adults. Even though the tumult may result in punishment, the fact is the child obtains attention even if affection is lacking. Thus the self-destructive pattern of conflict is born and maintained.The Security AddictionUnion contracts, retirement plans and insurance policies all seek to assure a future as free as possible from risk. These efforts are prudent and reasonable and certainly necessary in our complex economic life. It is very natural and understandable that people should seek a variety of devices for reducing risk by making the future as secure as possible. Indeed, one of the main functions of a society is to promote and provide a sense of security for its members. In this regard North America is much more successful than a great many societies around the world. Yet it is a never-ending quest of both government and business to avoid unnecessary risk and all obvious hazards of life.Unfortunately, mankind has not learned how to cancel all risk. Risk is part of the human condition even though our institutions may considerably reduce major hazards. Capitalism is based on the concept of risk, and indeed life itself is an unfolding tapestry of unforeseen risks.The security addiction reveals a compulsion to deny risk. This strategy projects the individual into the future with the driving need to prevent risk. It is the denial of risk that is at the heart of this addictive strategy. The behaviour emerging out of the security addiction can be quite bizarre. Compulsive hoarding is one manifestation. I remember a businessman I knew casually who would walk blocks to get a free photocopy. Everyone has a favourite story about a miserly acquaintance whose behaviour provided considerable amusement.Miserly behaviour can become so irksome to intimates that the behaviour destabilizes intimate relationships--thereby introducing a new form of risk. The same compulsion can lead to the need to make the big score and thus provide a safe future. This may lead to the self-sabotaging strategy of big stakes gambling and imprudent stock investments. In this manner millionaires can be made and unmade with astonishing frequency. I have heard acquaintances boast about making millions, losing them and making them again. When listening to such stories, I am prompted to think, Isnt once enough? Part of the skill of making millions includes the skill of stabilizing the achievement. However, the security addiction can lead such a person to believe that any achievement is not enough, and the compulsion drives that person to take great risks in acquiring more. The irony is the millions can be lost that way.The self-sabotaging consequence of the security addiction is the tendency to provoke risk. The compulsivity blocks prudence, and therefore an individual may achieve the opposite consequence to the presumed target of the addiction. As a result, stress is magnified, relationships suffer and life is diminished.The Sensation AddictionThere is little need to discuss this dimension of addictions since there is such a vast literature on the subject. Addiction to food, to chemicals, to pharmaceuticals and to other substances is dealt with by the electronic and print media relentlessly. However, we are schizophrenic about various addictions to substances of many kinds. At the same time the media promotes awareness of addictions, they also foster addictions. The golden era of Hollywood certainly fostered smoking as a sophisticated practice.One of the most insidious substance addictions concerns sugar. Western society is truly addicted to sugar and has been for more than a century. A splendid book on the subject, Seeds of Change, was written by an English journalist named Henry Hobhouse. As an example, 300 years ago the average European consumed approximately one pound of sugar per year. Today the average consumption is 150 pounds per year.Hypoglycemia and diabetes appear to be biochemical consequences of excessive sugar consumption. The behavioural consequences for children and adults can be extraordinary. Many people yo-yo between apprehensive and depressive moods to exaggerate frenzies. Recent research in North American prisons suggests that a great deal of pointless conflict and violence is fostered by sugar consumption which may be as high as 7 or 8 pounds per person per week among these populations. When experimental diets have been introduced, removing sugar from the diet, behaviour within the prisons improves enormously. Many school boards across North America have had the same experience with student populations.Generally, the addiction to sugar and caffeine is taken lightly. However, Dr. Janice K. Phelps, a Seattle physician, argues differently in her book, The Hidden Addiction: How to Get Free. She argues, with some potency, that alcohol and drug dependency constitute a secondary stage of addiction from an earlier sugar and caffeine dependency. Whether this is true or not, Western society does have a very serious sugar problem. The biochemical aspects of addiction provide a general focus of research and therapy in regard to addictions. However, I believe that the emotional dimension provides the driving energy for this addictive strategy just as with the four previous ones.During my early adulthood I was a very heavy smoker. Before I quit a couple of decades ago, I reached a habit level of about three packs a day. During the 20 years I was an active smoker, I quit several times, sometimes for a few weeks, sometimes for a few months and twice for over a year. My return to smoking was nearly always precipitated by a self-destructive, defeatist and depressive emotional state. I clearly remember the state of mind precipitating the return to smoking. The simple phrase, Who gives a damn?! neatly summarizes the emotional climate.Nearly everyone struggles with a sensation addiction in regard to one substance or another. As a matter of fact, it is reported that some joggers become addicted to the oxygen high from jogging. There are those who become addicted to the adrenalin high of daredevil sports. All too many deaths and serious disabilities derive from this behaviour.Suffice it to say that the sensation addiction is pervasive and serious, even though we know a great deal about it. Unhooking from this addiction is as much a mind problem as it is a body problem. The social and personal stresses precipitated by this addiction are obvious to all of us. However, these stresses can be reduced by the same techniques of emotionally unhooking as with the other four addictive strategies.

Section 4 Capacities of Your Mind

IntroductionIn the early years of my career as a conventional social scientist, I struggled with the understanding of human culture and its relationship to human mind. During the 50s, 60s and 70s, I was exposed to every school of thought imaginable. Early in my career I was heavily influenced by Freud and his view of the subconscious mind. In more recent years I have been influenced by psychologists such as Stanley Krippner, James Fadiman and Frances Vaughan and the concept of mind as a transpersonal reality as well as an individual reality.

Although Freuds influence is rapidly dwindling, much of the popular view of the subconscious mind is a legacy of Freudian thought. The popular view of the subconscious mind is characterized by the metaphor of the dirty basement--a dark place full of junk from the past, much of which is at best fearful or more likely obscene. During training exercises to teach clients and students how to use techniques to mobilize the power of the subconscious mind, I typically must deal with this popular perception of the subconscious mind as being a fearful and unpleasant reality. Much of Western religious belief has given theological support to this unflattering view.The Three Dimensions of MindThe New Age view of the subconscious mind is very different from the traditional view. It is important to note that the New Age view adds a crucial third, dimension, that of the transpersonal mind (see Table 3). This school of thought recognizes that most human behaviour, meaning internal, physiological events as well as social behaviour, is governed by subconscious wiring. According to the current clich, 90-95% of all behaviour is governed more by subconscious wiring than by conscious deliberation.

TABLE 3THE DIMENSIONS OF MIND

1.

SUBCONSCIOUS MIND: Inner Awarenessa) The controller of sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems b) The archives of total experience c) The automated stage centre

2.CONSCIOUS MIND: Outer Awarenessa) The referee of ethical standards b) The filter for unfamiliar experiences c) The voluntary messenger centre d) The guide for skill development e) The manager of voluntary action

3.GROUP MIND: Transpersonal Awarenessa) The source of intuitive insights b) The focus for creative thinking c) The realm of archetypal ideas d) The source of psi phenomena

The subconscious mind is simply a total record of all experience within an individuals lifetime. Some contributions to the subconscious mind are processed through an individuals consciousness, but a great deal of experience simply bypasses the conscious state. The subconscious mind is neither good nor bad, logical or illogical, right or wrong, beautiful or ugly. It simply is total experience. Some experiences become hardwired into habits, rituals, automatic responses, or unfortunately, cravings. Some of the hard-wired patterns are extremely helpful to the individual, giving the job of managing a wide range of necessary activities to the subconscious mind so that the conscious mind is not paralyzed by an overload of choices. This aspect of the subconscious mind is absolutely essential and extremely valuable to the human animal as a facet of survival.The job of the conscious mind is to process matters involving ethics, problems requiring logic, experiences which are unfamiliar, and techniques for developing skills. Therefore, the conscious mind becomes the arbiter, the analyzer, the negotiator, the communicator. If the conscious mind and the subconscious mind are in congruence, and they generally are, then behaviour is consistent and the inner state is free of turbulence. However, if these two facets of the mind are not in congruence, then the personality is disrupted by self-sabotaging and self- defeating inner struggles.If the subconscious mind is hardwired for negative behaviour or disadvantageous behaviour, then conscious processes are thwarted, diminished or seriously crippled.As an archive, the subconscious mind constitutes a storehouse of images, memories, feelings and experiences, some of which are wonderful and some of which are a bit ugly. However, it simply is not necessary to focus on the ugly and thereby ignore the beautiful and the wonderful dimensions of subconscious reality. The conscious mind can be taught to gradually access subconscious material for constructive purposes. Moreover, the conscious mind can be taught to release that which is negative. This does not mean repressing or denying the negative; it means releasing it. And this is a very important distinction.The process of releasing negatives and affirming positives is a simple process relying on step-by-step training over a period of time. Some preliminary discussion of this point was made in Chapter 2.The training process is aimed at reducing the energy devoted to negative emotions and raising the energy devoted to positive emotions. In this process the trainee does not repress, deny or forget unpleasantness or negative emotions; he simply removes the energy from them. The energy thus saved can be more profitably invested through affirmations to the constructive and positive elements of mind. This training sequence switches emotional orientation from the stress response to the relaxation response. As the trainee mobilizes the relaxation response, his/her abilities are enriched in a profound way through this redirection of energy. The investment enables each person to build skills more easily, to focus on talents without sabotage and to expand innate capacities without diverting struggle. As each individual masters the technique of mobilizing the relaxation response, s/he enables him/herself to draw on the third dimension of mind, group mind, in a more direct and focused manner.Group mind in Western tradition is as suspect as subconscious mind. However, during the last decade in both Europe and North America there has been a dramatic and profound change in academic circles and among scientists in their perceptions and research regarding group mind. More and more we accept the idea that our personality does not end with the skin. As discussed in Chapter 1, your mental energy extends well beyond the limitations of your body. By virtue of this extension individual minds relate not just to each other but with each other through transpersonal awareness. This inner relationship among individuals becomes the essence of group mind and the capacity for transpersonal awareness.By releasing the negative blocks in the inner self it is possible to expand the connections with transpersonal awareness. Creativity, intuition, flashes of insight, appreciation of others become a new enriched dimension of mind which vastly increases availability of ideas and receptiveness to innovation.To the degree that an individual is able to mobilize the relaxation response, s/he opens her/himself to group mind and the personal advantages inherent in transpersonal awareness.The synergism of individual contributions to group efforts is magnified to an almost limitless degree by unfettered transpersonal functions of mind.Before talking about the seven states of being which comprise the last section of this chapter (see Table 4), I need to make a couple of connections. The seven states of being are the essential elements of group mind which offer a focus to life and the value, purpose and meaning necessary for group relationships. The simplest way to focus on the seven states of being is through affirmations. If you recall, this subject was briefly dealt with in Chapter 2. Now, a more thorough discussion of affirmations will help you understand the means by which the seven states of being are made more clearly manifests in life.

TABLE 4THE SEVEN STATES OF BEING

BeautyThis state expands the awareness and acceptance of the miraculous and wondrousdimensions in life. Indeed, beauty is in all things, including oneself.

JoyThrough joy the individual mobilizes laughter and an engagement with life that is full of zestand pervasive pleasure.

AffectionThe inner focus of affection is as essential as its outer manifestation replete with caringgenerosity, non-judgemental acceptance and a connecting sense of kindness.

CreativityThe state of creativity requires openness and receptiveness achieved through the creation ofpeaceful and harmonious emotions.

KnowledgeThe affirmation of knowledge is the awareness that the universe is overflowing with thebuilding blocks of life, and affirming knowledge focuses the mind on this availability.

HealthPhysical health needs affirming as an abundant and perfect state of being, as with all sevenstates. The aura of expectation is thereby focused in a constructive fashion.

Material AbundanceWealth is a greater concept than money. Material abundance recognizes the plenitudeoffered by the universe and the availabi