Leaders That Last...How to Go the Distance in Children's Ministry

7/25/2019 Leaders That Last...How to Go the Distance in Children's Ministry

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Leadership That LastsHow to Go the Distance in Childrens Ministry

How do you go the distance?

Lasting doesnt happen by accident...preparation you must make and pitfalls youmust avoid.

How many Pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure,

spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches?

1. 1,!!

2. !!

". #2!!

$. %!!

&hat percentage of pastors marriages end in divorce?

#. #!'

2. "!'

". 2'

". !#

&hat percentage of pastors feel un(ualified and discouraged in their role?

#. ")'

$. %"#

". *+'

$. $#'

&hat percentage of pastors wives feel un(ualified and discouraged intheir role?

#. +'

2. '

&. %!#

$. 2'

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&hat percentage of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the

ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living?

#. *'

$. !#

". "'

$. #'

&hat percentage of seminary and ible school graduates who enter the

ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years?

#. #"'

$. %!#

". 2#'

$. $!'

&hat percentage of pastors polled said they have had an e-tramarital

affair?

#. '

2. 2!'

&. "!#

$. #$'

&hat percentage of pastors spouses feel their spouse is overworked?

1. %!#

2. #!!'

". *'

$. *'

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&hat percentage of pastors spouses wish their spouse would choose

another profession?

#. 2)'

2. %!'

&. %!#

$. $"'

&hat surprised you? &hy did it surprise you?

&hat did not surprise you? &hy were you not surprised?

/t the age of 2! in his ible, 0ohn isagno wrote 2$ names of friends, peers andcolleagues in his ible. 1hese were young ministers. rom time to time hereturned to these names to mark out those who left ministry. 1hirtythree yearslater, only " names remained.

How many of you know someone who has crashed out of ministry?

3ne of the most simple but important statements you will ever hear in ministry.

The 'est way to 'e success(ul in )inistry is to stay in )inistry.

4reatness in ministry not measured in years but in decades

Paul sitting in prison in 5ome, waiting to be e-ecuted. Looking back over hisministry and he pens these words6

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course,I have kept the faith.

Paul in 2 Timothy 4:!"#T$

&ow7 8ont you want to be able to say that at the end of your life?

9n this passage gives us the three key areas of our lives that we have to maintain

and care for if we are going to being a leader that last. Look at the pitfalls andpreparation:disciplines you need in each of those areas.

*. +*GHT TH G--D +*GHT



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&e are in a war against an enemy.

%or &e are not fightingagainst flesh'and'(lood enemies, (ut against evil rulersand authorities of the unseen &orld, against mighty po&ers in this dark &orld,

and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.)phesians *:+2 !"#T$

The thiefs purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.-ohn +:+

/tay alert0 1atch out for your great enemy, the devil. e pro&ls around like aroaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

I Peter 3:

;onse(uently lions have developed two main hunting methods. 1he first is

a version of grandmotherwho researched lion in the =erengeti andsurrounding areas recounts watching a group of 1homson


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it(all /$ 0 GreedA money, power, fame

it(all /& 0 rideA fill you with pride, lead you to start relying on your

knowledge, giftedness, talents.

rep /1 tay Close.

7y sheep listen to 7y voice8 I kno& them, and they follo& 7e.-ohn +:2

=afest place to be is close to the shepherd.

5od and a staff that can drive back the enemy.

=taying close to the shepherd shows total dependence on Him.

9on6t get so (usy doing ministry that you don6t spend time &ith -esus.

-esus &ent up on a mountainside and called to im those e &anted, and theycame to im. He appointed twelvethat theymight be with Himand that e

might send them out to preach +3

7ark :+'+4

.

rep /$ 0 tay together.

Lion cant get to the sheep as easy when they are in a pack A looks for the onesthat are by themselves

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can standback-to-back and conquer. Three are even (etter, for a

triple'(raided cord is not easily (roken.)cclesiastes 4:+2

/lone attacked and defeated

&ith others whove got your back, who know you, who will hold you accountable

riends you can share with, safe place to talk, close to staff, accountabilitypartner, people who watch out for you

People that ask you the tough (uestions and hold you accountable

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9f you are married stay close to your wife A stay in love with your wife A

there will always be eye candy A but a godly person is someone whokeeps their eyes focused on the person 4od sent to them. Love your wife.

8ont be a lone ranger. Bou will get ambushed and you wont survive

rep /& 0 tay alert.

Stay alert1atch out for your great enemy, the devil. e pro&ls around like aroaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

I Peter 3:

/ee then that you &alk circumspectly, not as fools, (ut as &ise,redeeming the time, (ecause the days are evil.

)phesians 3:+3'+*

&alk A circumspectly "+! degree watch A circumspectly Alike soldier walkingthru Cungle

Dnemy knows your weak spots A Hebrews #2 A sin that so easily besets you Aknows how to come at you

&hen it comes to preparing to be alert 3ne of the greatest things you can do isbe aware of yourself6be self alert.

rep /" 0 tay ar)ed.

438= /5E35

rep / 2 tay on your 3nees.

/ays in the very ne;t verse


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9on6t6 get so (usy &orking for =od that you don6t have time for =od to &ork onyou.

1hen =od is &orking in you then e can &ork thru you.

rep /4 0 tay teacha'le.

Pride opens the door for us to stumble and fall.

1he ible warns us in 9 ;orinthians #! to be careful. &hen you think you arestanding6when you think you are okay6when you get prideful6be careful6afall is coming.

Fey way is to staying humble.

8ont believe your press reports. Dither way.

**. 5 TH +6*TH

/nother area he talks about in 2 1imothy is this6

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course,I have kept the faith!"


He said 9 have kept the faith.

;ommentators69 have steadfastly maintained the faith of the gospel9 have lived a life of fidelity to my Easter.He had spent a life in faithfully serving his Lord.9n spite of every opposition and affliction he has remained true.

1he enemy seeks to pervert the faith6the 4ospel6

9n our lives he seeks to weaken our faith and trust in 4od.

He seeks to weaken our faith thru6

it(all /" 0 7n(orgi8eness

Heres a fact6if you are in ministry, you are going to get hurt7

Paul said G8emas hath forsaken me

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G/le-ander the coppersmith did me much evilIG

GJo man stood with meIG

People you pour your life into are going to turn their back on you.

Bou are going to have people lie about you.

People are going to misunderstand and (uestion your motives.

Kolunteers that you thought were with you ##!' will (uit on you and leave

the church.

Parents are going to complain to the Pastor about you without Cust cause.

Boure going to try to change something and people who cant see beyond

their pew will oppose it.

Bou may even get burned by a fellow staff member.

&ell known pastor said6

%' of the church is greatI ' is not so hotI and#' of that is down right nasty.

How many have met that #'?

How many of you are thinking of someone right now? Jo names please7

1hat #' is everywhere you go7

Dnemy wants you to be angry6wants you to harbor unforgiveness in your heart.

Mnforgiveness is the single most popular poison that the enemy uses against

4od


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&hat is a root? / root is a source that is lying under the surface.

;an everybody see a root? Jo, because it


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o Bou will ask 4od why? /nd thats okay. 0esus asked why on the cross.

o =ometimes you may get an answer to your why (uestion and many times

you will not.

it(all /4 2 Discourage)ent

o 1imes when you will spend hundreds of hours on a new program or ministry

and it will flop

o 1here will be times when you ask people to serve and you will get nos.

o 1here will be times when you make a very stupid mistake and you get

reprimanded for it.

o 1here will be times when your ministry is not growing.

o 1here will be times when your leadership ability is (uestioned.

o 1here will be times when you will reali@e youre in way over your head.

o 1here will be times when it seems like the kids are not listening to anything

you are teaching.

o 1here will be times when of your key volunteers will not show up6and notcall to let you know.

o 1here will be times when you find the take home papers you passed out

littering the parking lot.

o 1here will be times when the needs are great but the budget is lean.

1he enemy will come in and sit on your shoulder. 1ell you that youre a lousychildrens pastor, tell you that you werent really called into childrens ministry, tellyou that you should (uit, tell you that you cant do the Cob.

/ big pitfall is discouragement.

4od doesnt want you to be discouraged. He wants you to be encouraged, Hewants you to be as thrilled about serving Him as the first day He called yourname.

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rep / : 0 tay +ocused.

#et us run &ith endurance the race that is set (efore us, looking to -esus, thefounder and perfecter of our faith, &ho for the >oy that &as set (efore im

endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of thethrone of =od.e(re&s +2:+'2

Eust keep our eyes on 0esus

9ll of Peter walking on water

;hurches will make mistakes

=ituations will change

Eust be prepared to keep our eyes on 0esus.

rep /; 0 tay positi8e

I can do all things thru ?hrist &ho strengthens me. Philippians :+4

Fnow that with ;hrist you can do anything He asks you to do.

Feep your faith in people.

/re you going to be burned sometimes?

Bes6but love people anyways and believe in them.

=urround yourself with positive people if you want to stay positive.

/lways will be some negative people who come at you

Jegative people. 1hey


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1here can be a temptation over the years to get cynical.

Bou will meet older pastors who are bitter and cynical. 8ont let that be you. =taypositive7

9f youre going to go the distance6if youre going to be a childrens ministry

leader that lasts6then you have to6

fight the good fight

keep the faith

1here is a third area that Paul says is key to being a childrens ministry leaderthat lasts6 9n 2 1imothy $N*6



***. +*have someone read9on6t you realiAe that in a race everyone runs, (ut only one person gets the

priAeB /o run to &in0 23Cll athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to&in a priAe that &ill fade a&ay, (ut &e do it for an eternal priAe. 2*/o I run &ith

purpose in every step. I am not >ust shado&(o;ing. 2I discipline my (ody like an

athlete, training it to do &hat it should. Dther&ise, I fear that after preaching toothers I myself might (e disEualified. + ?orinthians F:24

Dnemy wants to keep you from finishing your course. He wants you to stumble6to fall6to be dis(ualified.

it(all /: 0 n8y

Have you comparing yourself with others.

Have wanting someone elses ministry position

Mpset because another department in the church gets more budgetmoney than yours A 9 know thats never happened to you

Dnvious over the church down the street that is growing faster than yours

or that has a nicer building than yours

it(all /% 0 +ailure

o &ants you to stay down when you make mistakes

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o &ants you to stay down when you dont succeed

it(all /; 0 9urnout

o &ants you to get burned out mentally

o &ants you to get burned out physically

o &ants you to get burned out emotionally

o &ants you to get burned out relationally

o &ants you to get burned out spiritually

Bou can by a ;hildrens Einistry Leader that lasts if you finish the course. 1ofinish the course you must6

rep /1! 0 tay (aith(ul.

is master said to him, 1ell done, good and faithful servant.7atthe& 23:2+

9on6t pray for success. Pray for faithfulness.

9n some translations it read 9 have finishedM>course

Dnvy causes you to look over at someone elses course instead of being faithfulto the course 4od has planned for you.

9on6t try to run on someone else6s course. =od designed a course >ust for youand no one can complete it (ut you.

4od designed one you. 8ont try to be someone else. Jo one can be you6butyou7

8ont be a second rate version of someone else. e a first rate version ofyourself.

It6s our >o( to run the course...not design it.

Bour course is going to take you up mountain tops and down in valleys.1hrough sunshine and through storms.

4ood time and bad times.0oy and sorrow.=ickness and health.

;ourse is not going to make sense sometimes.;ourse will involve pain sometimes.;ourse will involve tough times.

ut remain faithful.

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There &ere others &ho &ere tortured, refusing to (e released so that they mightgain an even (etter resurrection. */ome faced >eers and flogging, and evenchains and imprisonment. They &ere put to death (y stoning8 GeHthey &ere

sa&ed in t&o8 they &ere killed (y the s&ord. They &ent a(out in sheepskins and

goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated

the &orld &as not &orthy ofthem. They &andered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes inthe ground.

FThese &ere all commended for their faith, yet none of them received &hat had(een promised, 4since =od had planned something (etter for us so that only

together &ith us &ould they (e made perfect.e(re&s ++:3'4

&ill you remain faithful no matter what?&hen ministry is not growing?&hen budget is cut?

&hen sickness comes?&hen conflict comes?

1he ;hristian life is a tough act. Life is a tough act.

If you find a path &ith no o(stacles, it pro(a(ly doesn6t lead any&here.

Psalm ##% A 4ods &ord is a light to our path6our course6doesnt shine milesdown the road6Cust far enough to take the ne-t step.

=tay faithful6.one step at a time69f you finish the course6it will be by faithfullytaking one step at a time.

9f youre going to finish the course6youre going to have to6

rep /1$ 0 tay steady.

Cnd let us run &ith endurance the race =od has set (efore us.e(re&s +2:+

How do you run with endurance? ind a steady pace you can run at.

Earathon not a sprint A must pace yourself.

Like in a marathon A people that start off wide open and dont pace themselves

dont win. 1hey burn out down the track.

4reat runners know how to pace themselves. 1hey run evenly.

3ver the years seen a lot of people start off fast in ministry and then crash.

How do you avoid burnout mentally?

9t is ama@ing the pressure that you will face in ministry.

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I have &orked much harder, (een in prison more freEuently, (een flogged moreseverely, and (een e;posed to death again and again. %ive times I received fromthe -e&s the forty lashes minus one. Three times I &as (eaten &ith rods, once I&as stoned, three times I &as ship&recked, I spent a night and a day in the open

sea, I have (een constantly on the move. I have (een in danger from rivers, in

danger from (andits, in danger from my o&n countrymen, in danger from=entiles8 in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea8 and indanger from false (rothers. I have la(ored and toiled and have often gone

&ithout sleep8 I have kno&n hunger and thirst and have often gone &ithout food8I have (een cold and naked. Jesides everything else, I face daily the pressure

of my concern for all the churches.2 ?orinthians ++:2'2

Pressure above all this other stuff

Pressure is always there6and it will drain your tank7

Stay filled up mentally

How do you stay filled up mentally?

Eental stress will burn you out A stress really can have a big affect on your body

=tress now contributes to %!' of all diseases. Half of all visits to doctors arestressrelated.&hy is pastoral ministry so stressful?

tasks are never done

workaholism >


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we think we are spiritual because you work * days a week. Jo it is notspiritual6it is sinful.

e-ercise

eat healthy

get your sleep

take your vacation : its okay not to go to church when you are on vacation

9mportant to stay physically healthy

Stay filled up emotionally

very close to mentally and could make one in the same but want to differentiate

mentally 9 am talking about stress

emotionally 9 am talking about wide range of emotions you feel in ministry

can be an emotional rollercoaster

walk out of great ible study with your " rdgraders to be told that a preschoolergot sick and threw up all over the new carpet.

big events adrenaline will get so high and then come crashing down the ne-tweek

have a new family come to ;hrist and then have a family thats been aroundforever come up and complain because you dropped the program their greatgrandmother started $ years ago

get a new volunteer one week and the ne-t week a key volunteer decides to Cointhe adult choir and (uit

Eany times we are the source of the emotional pressure

Bou are in ministry because you are driven.

ecause you are so driven, ministry can consume you emotionally.

&e feel the same emotional pressure that Paul felt. &e see the world around us

and reali@e there will always be more people to reach6more people to disciple7

ave a (urden for the &orld


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most people in ministry are people pleasers A we are wired that way A hard tosay no A learn to say no

Learn to say no A 0esus didnt heal everyone A sometimes we got in the boat andleft people standing on the shore

5emember you are responsible to people but not for people

People leaving the church A dont take it personally

Jo matter what you do A people will bolt on you

Learn to deal with criticism A can emotionally drain you

5emember everyone is critici@ed.

Learn to respond not react.

Look for the grain of truth in the criticism.

9f you see more than a grain of truth and you cant process it alone, seek

feedback from the safe person in your life.

4ive them your ear, but within reason. 8ont allow someone to destroy you

with caustic criticism

Have fun A enCoy the Courney A force yourself to slow down and smell the roses

8ont take yourself so seriously A laugh at yourself

Those &ho can6t laugh at themselves leave the >o( to others.9mportant to stay emotionally healthy

Stay filled up relationally

5elationships primarily talking about family

amily can get shortchanged

come home relationally drained A been around people all day A not much roomleft for family

&hat does it profit if you gain the win the whole world yet lose your own family?

Feep family first

9f we are not careful, we can get in a pattern of not worshiping with our ownfamily. &hen is the last time you worshiped with your spouse? &ith your kids?&e must not to sacrifice worshiping with our family for the sake of kidmin.&eekends such as ;hristmas and Daster can be e-tremely busy in kidmin. utmake sure you carve out time to attend a service in GbigG church with your family.8on


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ball game and ministry event A choose ball game7

1hey left Eemphis about the same time, traveling down the Eississippi 5iver toJew 3rleans. /s they traveled side by side, sailors from one vessel made a fewremarks about the snails pace of the other. &ords were e-changed. ;hallengeswere made. /nd the race began. ;ompetition became vicious as the two boatsroared through the 8eep =outh.

3ne boat began falling behind. Jot enough fuel. 1here had been plenty of coalfor the trip, but not enough for a race. /s the boat dropped back, an enterprisingyoung sailor took some of the ships cargo and tossed it into the ovens. &hen thesailors saw that the supplies burned as well as the coal, they fueled their boatwith the material they had been assigned to transport. 1hey ended up winningthe race, but burned their cargo.

4od has entrusted cargo to us, tooN children, spouses, friends. 3ur Cob is to doour part in seeing that this cargo reaches its destination.

Eade some mistakes in this area when my kids were younger me and 0oshstory

Stay filled up spiritually

can get burned out spiritually

Cust going through the motions

spiritually empty inside

gotta serve from the spiritual overflowbe bigger on the inside than you are on the outside

How?

&alk with 0esus7 =pend time in prayer for your personal relationship.

5ead ible not for the lesson but for your own spiritual growth

/ttending the adult service or Ggoing to big churchG as we in kidmin often refer toit.

9 can see Paul sitting there in prison. 1hink he knew he was at the finish line. Eayhave even penned these words as he heard the a- being sharpened that wouldend his life.

/nd then 9 think he gets a glimpse over the finish line as he writes6

Cnd no& the priAe a&aits me ' the cro&n of righteousness, &hich the #ord, therighteous -udge, &ill give me on the day of his return. Cnd the priAe is not >ust for

me (ut for all &ho eagerly look for&ard to his appearing.2 Timothy 4:

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9t will be worth it all when you cross the finish line.

Therefore, since &e are surrounded (y such a great cloud of &itnesses, let usthro& off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us

run &ith perseverance the race marked out for us.e(re&s +2:+

/nother race analogy is used.

Like a relay race.

1he men and women of 4od listed have gone on before us. 1hey have ran theirpart of the race. Bou can add to that list mentors, perhaps parents, grandparents,or others you know who have served the Lord and already crossed the finish line.

1heyve handed you the baton. /nd now they are cheering for you to go the

distance6to finish your part of the race.

9nteresting back in Hebrews ##, the writer says6

1e6ve got to finish our part of the race.

/fter everyone has completed their part of the course there will be a bigcelebration at the finish line.

&hat are we going to celebrate?

"o& there is in store for me the cro&n of righteousness, &hich the #ord, the

righteous -udge, &ill a&ard to me on that dayand not only to me, (ut also to all&ho have longed for is appearing.

2 Timothy 4:

9o you not kno& that in a race all the runners run, (ut only one gets the priAeBKun in such a &ay as to get the priAe. 23)veryone &ho competes in the games

goes into strict training. They do it to get a cro&n that &ill not last, (ut &e do it toget a cro&n that &ill last forever.

+ ?orinthians F:24'23

;rown used to honor winners in Pauls day of games first was a crown of laurelleaves, then changed to wild celery or fir twig. /s soon as they put it on it beganto wilt and fade away.

3ur pri@e is an incorruptible crown, not a crown of laurel leaves, or wild celeryor a fir twig. 1he reward that 0esus has in store for every man, woman and childwho crosses the finish line faithfully, is an eternal crown, that will never lose itsvalue or its glory.

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Heres the key thing. 1he celebration wont be about us.

;rowns A cast at his feet and worship and praise Him. He is what makes thefinish line so wonderful.

1henever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to im &ho sits on

the throne and &ho lives forever and ever, the t&enty'four elders fall do&n (eforeim &ho sits on the throne, and &orship im &ho lives for ever and ever. They

lay their cro&ns (efore the throne and say: @ou are &orthy, our #ord and =od, toreceive glory and honor and po&er, for @ou created all things, and (y @our &ill

they &ere created and have their (eing.Kevelation 4

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Leaders That Last...How to Go the Distance in Children's Ministry