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PREFA CE
F our years ago five hundred Copi es of
Wi re -Grass S tor i es”
were given to the
publ icand soon ex hausted .
Upon re!uest , the author revi ses and
submi ts th is second ed it ion of the same
number ofcopi es , to his indulgent readers .
W . I rwin MacI ntyre,
T homasvi l le , Ga. ,
Juiy , 25 th ,1913.
3! t ransfe rTh e Wh i te House
19 13
HE late Columbus Allen was the subj ect and author of
many good stor ies . He was very old when i knew him ,
but his exact age was the one secret of his bosom . I once
knew him to get very indignant when he heard that it wasbeing to ld that he had said
"When 1first came to Thomasvi l le, the Ochlocknee river
was nothing but a l ittle bit of a stream .
"
In answer to the question as to who raised him , Uncle Lumsaid .
“l wasn
'
t raised , 1was caught by the hair and jerked up .
"
Uncle Lum was a loyal Confederate soldier , a lthough hehad been opposed to Secession . He used to deny that he had
said that his one wound in the hand was received when he wasin the act of cocking a cannon . He also denied the story toldby the boys, that in the midst of a hot fight, he reached down ;and , taking a saddle from a dead horse , started for the rear.
“Where are you going?
"said a sergeant.
Takin'
the Genera l'
s saddle to him ; was the reply ; re
peated as often as inquiry was made .
When“Uncle Lum got to the rear. he found he was mis
taken about the ide n ity of the saddle , and before he could getback to the front, the battle was over.
Uncle Luru denied that he had said
!x!“Hoke Smith is wr ong in opposing watering stock , when it
is a matter of impossibil ity to bring stock from Missour i toGeorgia without watering them two or three times .
X H ok e Smi th is G eorg ia’
s fo r emost statesman and has mo r e dogs named fo r h im
than any o th e r man in pub l ic l ife . No - no ch i ld r en .
Which rem inds me of the case 1 heard in the ThomasCoun ty Court House ; in which the owner of the contro l l ing intere st in a sawm i l l had been sued for damages done by oxenbelonging to the man to whom he had leased his property somemonths before . E leven of the jury immediate lv came to the o
pinion that the Plain ti ff had sued the .wrong man , and were infavor of returning a verdict for the Defendant .
“Ho ld on , Boys, said the carefu l twelfth Juror Didn
'
t you
hear Joe Beverly say he owned the stock in that m i l l?"
“Yes.
"
Wel l, wasn'
t them oxen the only stock there?
Unc le Lum '
s definition of a Republ ican was, A l ow down
white man with nigger princip les ."
i asked him his definition of popul ism'
. He said it was a
premeditated impossibi l ity .
"
fi ‘ t t t t
Mr. James M . Blackshear lives in a District, cut out fromThomas, and inc luded in the new county of G rady . He wasmuch opposed to the change ; not so much on accoun t o f heal thconditions, a lthough he made that point; but , because. as hesaid:
The people in the new area didn'
t have sense enough to
run a county.
Being opposed to the en terprise , he was incl ined to rid iculethe efforts to organize the new coun ty . I drove up to his housejust before the first Primary Election . and the fol lowing conversation ensued:
“
Unc l e Jim , how you al l coming on with the Election?
Why, Son , you never saw so many candidates in your l ife ;we got thirty- four candidates for Tax Receiver
“Are they al l q ualified to ho ld the job?
"
Cb alified? Why, out of that Thirty - four, Twenty- f ive can'
t
count a hundred .
"
“Well , that leaves n ine good men to choose from .
"Yes. but the trouble is , eight out of that n ine can
'
t go to
two hundred .
t i t t t i
In describing the great advance of Cairo , his county site ,Mr. Blackshear said
“Cairo improved ? Why , Son , ten years ago , I could have
taken a standing col lar and tent to Cairo and by charging a dimeadmission , I could have made a fortune, but now I can hardlyget to town for the crackers stopp ing me along the road , saying“
Oh Mr. Blackshear, take my laundry to town for me , please .
u n s e t .
Mr . Blackshear was very much opposed to the manner ofworking the convicts on the public roads, said he:
“
I'
l l certainly not al low one of those convict camps put near my place , theywil l demoral ize all of my hands who wont want to do anymore work than the convicts .
O ther opponents of the system were criticising the permission given convicts to p lay base bal l on Saturday . Mr. Blackshear defended the practice on the grounds that everyoneneeded exercise .
The last time I discussed the convict situation with him , he
said:“Do you remember old Jeff ? They put Jeff on the gang
for se lling l icker ; the other n ight he went off; got drunk ; cameback and cussed out the guards — And what do you suppose
they did to him?"Beat him about half to death I reckon .
No they didn'
t, they suspended him for three days .
On one occasion Mr. Blackshear was in a sai l- boat with twofriends on Lake Iamonia, several m i les over the Florida l ine .
An unexpected gale came up , and —the boat capsized . Drowning
seemed certain . Both companions fai led to remember anyprayer. The responsibi l ity was on Jim . J im , do your best,
”
they said . He thought a minute, and remembering nothing but
the blessing his mother used to ask, said .
“Lord , make us thankful for what we are about to receive .
Mr. Blackshear went to schoo l in Thomasvil le , when a boy .
He had a great many character istics , one of which was a strongdisincl inat ion to make a speech. Commencement day came, and
J im had to make a speech or get l icked . There was no way
out. The other l i ttle boys had spoken . His name was next on
the program . The Seasons was the subj ect . Fond parents
crowded the l it tle chapel . J im'
s name was reached . He came
striding upon the stage , striking the floor with his bare heels sothe noise could be heard al l over the house, and began:
“The Seasons.
There are four seaso nsz— Winter, Spring , Summer and Fal l .Some l ike W inter, some like Spring , some l ike Summer, andsome l ike Fall . But as for I nez— “
Give me l iberty or g ive me
death .
And down he came ; bump- de- bump - cle - bump .
On another occasion the teacher required J im to wr ite a composition . H e chose “
Rats"for his subject , and his composition
ran someth ing like this:
Rats
Rats is very pestiferous l ittle cr itters. They has a lo ng tail,'
Ie ss some cat have hit his tail o ff. They eats most everything .
They even steal syrup . They gnaws the cork out with their
teeth, then they run their tail down in the bottle , and sucks thesyrup o ff. Then they repeats. That
’
s al l I know about rats .
Mr Blackshear is about the quickest man to size up a humo rous situation I ever saw . One day I was stand ing beside him
4
on the publ ic road , when a colored man came by with a shackIy old wagon and two mules, poor enough to drop and oldenough to vote .
”
The wagon body contained three 200 poundsacks of guano .
Hey Squire,inquired Mr. Blackshear, What you going to
do with al l of that fertil izer? "
I am going to put it under my crap was the reply“
0 said Mr. Blackshear I thought you were going to useit for perfumery purposes .
fi t t t $ $
Mr B lackshear had a dear lady friend from Thomasvil lewho was very much interested in evangeli cal work amongthe colored . Upon a visit to Mr. Blackshear
’
s they both saw a
prospect drawing water from a we l l . Upon advancing, thewou ld be missionary said “
Fraz ier do you know Jesus?"
"Wel l not pe rzactly , but I'
ve heard te ll of him .
“Has Mr. Blackshear to ld you of him ?
"
No'
am , I don'
t think he know him .
Do you know he died for you?
No'
am , is he dead? I d idn'
t know he was sick was the
tt t t t t t
A Paper filed in the offi ce of Judge W. H . Bibb , J . P had
failed to have an entry at the proper time , through no fau lt ofthe Plainti ff . I arose on the first day of Court, and requested arulez— Nunc pro tunc to correct the error in p laintiff
'
s beha lf .
Look here said the court ;“ I 've been J . P . Thirty— five
years; have n ever been reversed by the Superior Court but tw iceand both those times the Supreme Court sustained me; neverhave issued no Tunc or Tinc orders , and don
'
t propose to do it
now; but I’
l l change the date of that entry .
"
The peop le in these parts don'
t exactly know what Al ib i
means, but they knowwhen proven i t a lways gets the Defendantout of trouble . Judge Bibb was ho lding Court and a farmercame in , sat on the floor in the rear of the room , leaned againstthe wall , and began smoking his stone pipe . Co l . Arthur Pattencal led the Court
'
s attention to the offender .“
Come to the Bar of Justice , addressed the Court to the
smoker."Do you mean any disrespect, Sir; by smoking in this august
presence?"
°‘
No -No -No -Sir ; Jedge ; the offender was saying , shakingfrom head to foot , when Co l. Patten whispered something in hisear
Jedge , I p leads Al ibi ;"he said to the Court, fo l lowing the
suggestion . Judge Bibb looked very sdlemn ly over his glasses ,and replied
"Take your seat, Sir ; that
'
s al l that saved you .
Now said Co l . Patten one day in the tr ial of a case . I am
going to do something which i s l ike shaking a red flag in a bul l'
s
face ; I am going to read your Honor some law .
"
Co l Patten, i f you ever say that again , Sir; “I disbaryou , said Judge Bibb .
On another occasion Co l . Patten said to the court“Your honor should not expect to understand the intr icate
points of the law as wel l as we lawyers, who make it a l ifework .
"
Mr. Patten if you say that again, Sir; the court wil l fineyou Ten Do l lars , rep l ied the Judge .
Judge Bibb once had a cow to eat some of Dr. R s
vegetab les . The argument which fo l lowed resulted in a chal
6
Ie nge from Dr . to the Judge , the same being immediately ao
cepted . Both chose seconds and the Judge gave the Dr. choice
of naming weapons or distance . The Dr . said shot guns loadedwith buckshot.
The judge said he would announce the distance in plentyof time . The Dr . made his wi l l and was visibly nervous . TheJudge was as usual composed . The date for the du e l approached .
The doctor could neither eat nor sleep . Two days before thefight he demanded to know the distance . The Judge said Dr .
you wil l stand in Ta l lahassee and I in Thomasvil le . They
were friends ever after .
Hono rable Theo . Titus had gotten Judgement in the Boston
Justice Court. Several days later he saw the constable in
Thomasvi l le .
“Look here , have you made that levy yet?
Yes , Sir.
On what?
Two head of geese and a patch of onions, Sir, replied theofficer. conscious of a duty we ll done .
Among Attorney Titus'
first efforts, was a case in a CountryJustice Court. Mr. Titus was closing for the plan tiff. and was
making an eloquent but long drawn out argument . The Courtbecame very impatient . Finally a cloud came up , and a clap of
thunder almost shook the house .
“Look here , Co l . Titus , said the court. When you git
through with your speech you' l l find my judgment r ight under thisbook. The Court is got to set out some taters befo re the rain .
-l¢ $
Joe Cal loway has been Jan i tor at the Court House for manyyears. His lega l associations are evidenced by the names o f his
two youngest chi ldren: Petit Larency and Incorporea lHereditament, who is cal led
"Dit
"for short.
One of his co lored brethren once asked Joe for a drink ofice water: Joe d irected him to the bucket on the table
"Look here, Joe, this aint no ice water
'
this water is warm
Yes dat is ice water, Nigger ; you don'
t know ice water.
No , Joe , there ain t no ice in that water.
Yes, there is
N0 , there aint.
Yes ,there is . I te ll you hit just aint cold enough to friz i t
out; you le t the water turn cold , and you' l l see there is just as
much ice in that water as in any water.
I was employed by a co lored preacher t o defend his son ,who had misappropriated a pair of trousers, and would havedoubtless been successfu l, had not the l ittle rascal had them onat the time of the trial . This parson had evidently belonged toan Orator before the war, for he possessed a vocabu lary of manynouns, numero tis verbs and innumerable adjectives . He didnot try to
"H ide his learning under a bushel . Captain Dossand I were waiting for Court to convene ; my client was to myright . Joe Cal loway came in with a bucket of water, and set i ton the radiator, which , at that time, stood in the center of th eroom , and was used for a table in summer. I t had been a prettydistressing time for those interested in the colored race ; theburning at Statesboro had occurred on ly a few days before .
The Parson’
s son was here to be tried for a disgracefu l act. Joeevidently was, and had a right to be , in a meditative mood . But
the Reverend Gentleman , conscious of super ior learning here below and a superior seat hereafter above, was in a talkative mood .
As the water bucket went on the radiator he remarked .
Mr . Cal loway , hab you observed dat universal prosperity
8
am gene rly preceded by d il igent and consecrated application?
Joe looked at the parson , scratched his head ; and ful ly conscious of the seriousness of the question , rep l ied ;
“Yah , I is; and dat
'
s how come so many niggers in H e ll
now.
Reverend Carter Johnson of Thomasvi l le, is the smartestful l-blood African I have ever known . His book learn ing isvery l imited , having been brought up a slave , but he makes up
for this defect in original ity .
The first year after the War, Carter taught school on the O ldJones
'
plantation . I could te l l many interesting things aboutthis schoo l ; I have in m ind one in particular. You remembe rthe whole world at this time was imbibed with the spiri t of t eform ; Carter was no exception to the rule . He cal led all the
chi ldren together, and rem inded them of the b lessings of EmanC ipati o n . He spoke of the iniquity of s lavery ; and Now.
"
says he in dramatica l tones,"We must get rid of that great
sister of iniquity , Corporal Punishment; so hereafter, i f any ofyou children, m isbehave. I am not going to whip you , but wi l ltake your lunch away instead .
Everything was going we ll , Carter had b lazed the way fo rthe Abo l ition of Corporal Punishment; which reform has not yetcompleted its sweep over the South ; and was growing fat on theluscious lunches, which came from the kitchens of the wel l- to- do
whites. However, this happy state of affairs was not to continne . Carter soon found that Annie , daughtero f my mate rnalgrandmother
'
s cook , Marianne , always had a good lunch . So it
was impossib le for Annie to go to Recess without having lapsedinto such a breach of discipl ine as ne cessitated the forfeiture o fher lunch . This lasted unti l Aunt Marianne go t fu l ly wroughtup , when she went down to the school house with a broom handle and revo lutionized Carter's ideas aboutCorporal PunishmentHere ended the embryo of a great human itarian reform .
9
When , some years afte r , the Liquor Issue arose, Carter foundemp loyment in del ivering the Colored vote on the side of l iquor .A great Local Opti on Election was pending in Madison County ,Florida . Car ter was sen t for to Oppose the Colored p reacherswho favored Prohibition . A speaking was arranged for the Colored voters . The platform was ful l of p reachers, of whom Carter was the only one on thewe t side Carter addressed the assembled multitude ; saying he could prove water had kil led more
people than l iquor; that if he could not, he would retire from thefight ; on the o ther hand , i f he d i d , he wanted his bre th ren to reti re . He said that if they accepted his chal lenge , he wou ld askthat as there was only one of h im and several of them , that he
be permitted to speak last . The Prohibition speakers agreed ,
and one after another re ad unabridge d statistics as to the numberof criminals, Iunatics and corpses , whiskey had made . Carter
waited patiently . When they were all done , he arose calmly .
and asked the audience i f they believed in the Bible . Of coursethey did . He then read the chapter about the
“
Flood , and
there arose such a cheer and applause from the wet cohorts ,that before the enthusiasm could be checked , the wets hadswept the deck .
The County afterwards went D ry but in justice to Carter,will say , he was not in the fight. I forgot to say that for Carter
'
s success he was given a shot - gun , appropriately inscr ibed ,which he promptly pawned to a friend of mine .
a s s e s s
I once walked out of the Court House and met Car te r, in answer to the customary greeting, Car ter said he was sick of hear t ;sick of heart.
“What is the matter ?
I have been working to uplift my race ever since the War,and I come up here and find twe nty Niggers indicted , and not a
white man . I fe e l discouraged . I t looks l ike crime is gettingno less among my people . I feel l ike giving up .
IO
The next term of Cou rt I met Carter in approximately thesame place , and in answe r to my greeting , he said
“I am mad ; confoundedly mad ; some of these infe rnal Niggers have been up here lying on me, and have gone and gottenme indicted .
"
“What for3
Larceny . He was convicted but not subdued .
a s s a s s
Several years ago Car te r preached a se rmo n in Albany , and
was so unfor tunate in choosing his text, that he had to walkhome that night. He p reached o n :
“
Soap and Water, and the u se thereof.
Carter was a great bel iever in the scriptures for pol iticaleffect . It is sa id that when he was wo rking in the interest of
the Democrats , he showed where Christ, himsel f, classed the“
Publ icans and sinners together .
Everybody knew the late Capt . W . M . Hammond of Thomasville . PresidentMcKin ley once comp lained of being put to ad isadvantage . by being introduced by this bril l iant son of theSouth . I now have in mind two il lustrations of Hammond
'
s
wit and repar te ez
An important murder tr ial was in progress in one of our
Western counties. First counsel for the defense had made avery eloquent p leafor the defendant on acco unt of his feeble physical cond ition ; his rheumatism , paralysis, gout , e t cetra . Coun
sel for the prosecution had stated to the jury that instead of al l
these infirmities, provoking me rcy , they should make the jurymore determined to find a verdict of gui l ty , so as to put the defendant out o f his misery . Counsel depreciated the fact that thecrime could not be punished as deserved , and was sorry some
I I
thing more than a worthless l ife cou ld not be taken for so heinous an offense ; nevertheless , such was the case, and the vindication of the law would real ly be of benefi t to the defendant.
Captain Hammond concluded for the defense, and beganwith these words:
“I am prepared , Gentlemen of the Jury , to agree with oppos
ing counsel that hanging may be a sure cure for rheumatism ,
gout, etc but I th ink that the learned and distinguished gentleme n , representing the state , will admitt that it has its d isadvantages .
Back in the times of the Farmers'
All iance , Ocala Platformand other so cal led heresies that were exasperating the old l ineDemocrats of the South, Capt . Hammond was addressing a conve n tio n of Democrats at Albany , Ga.
“
But came a voice from the crowd , directed to the speaker,Don
'
t you think a man can be an A llianceman , a Frec-Si lverite , and a good Democrat?
"
The speaker hesitated a moment , as the crowd stood breathlessly, and looking directly toward the enquirer, said ;
A ll things are possible with God .
He was not again inter rupted .
Nathan and Herman Levy were Thomasvi l le merchants, andBill Jones a good cash and barter, but not credit customer, whofarmed eight m i les out. A former c lerk te lls the story .
Jones would exchange butter, chickens, cow hides and eggs,to the Levy
'
s for cal ico , cheese and canned goods, the merchantsa lways bearing in mind that their customer would rather oweyou all his l ife, than swnndle y o u out of a cent . Everythingwen t we l l , unti l Herman , i n a moment of weakness, loaned Bil ltwo do l lars, who next Saturday was seen in front of their com
12
A certain transient Evangel ist, who dispensed salvation freeand sold insect powders for a consideration , stopped at UncleHenry 's house , and , incidenta l ly, got a check endorsed . Uncle
Henry, some weeks after, paid the check , and some mon thsafter, got his former friend
'
s address .
We l l , Uncle He nry, said one of the boys about town ,Did you ever ge t that money ?
"
No , but l'
writ him a letter .
What did you say?
I wri t him fourteen pages
Yes, but what did you say ?
I started off by saying you goldurned , canker- yeared , man
gy , fl ea-bitten , pu silan imo us, ghost- runn ing, scavenger- practising ,
carrion- eating hound , you ; and the further I went the worserI got .
Uncle Henry was somewhat of a philosopher . He wasonce upbraided for cutting timbe r so near his house .
"Oh , we l l, said he ,
"Let them what live the longest tote
woo d and water the furtherest.
t t t a t t
Uncle Henry was attending a farmers'
meeting in Thomasvi l le . The speaker was explaining how to p lant cotton l ate andsave a hoeing. Unc le Henry l istened patiently . Final ly, hecou ld stand it no longer.
"Look here. Brother, said he ; There is more saved than
that. If 1plant and tend cotton according to your scheme , “1save a pickin ' too .
"
3 t
Uncle Henry had been having troub le in trading w ith hisco lored tenants. A certain tenant had been exceeding ly extravagan t in his demands for another year.
I 4
Look here, Nigger, said Uncle Henry ; l gorra, I wil ltrade with you for the fodder, and I
'
ll pul l i t myself.
More good stories are told on Maj or Stegal l , deceased , thanany other man who ever l ived in Thomas County . He was onceSheriff, and always enjoyed the esteem of the community , notw ithstanding many eccentricities . lt is said that they once got
the Majo r on the witness stand during the investigation of apoker game, and he testified as fo l lows:
‘
Major, what were the boys playing for? asked the sol ici tor."For fun .
"
Didn'
t they have chips?
Yes. Sir .
Were the chips worth money?
Yes, Sir.
Then why do you say they were p laying for fun?
We l l , you. se e , them what got the moist chips had the moist
fi t t t t t
Major was a witness in the investigation of a fight,tified as fol lows
Was the defendant angry? asked the So l ic itor.
No , Sir .
Was he mad ?
No, Sir.
Was he in his normal state of mind?
No , Sir.
We ll , Si r, what was his mental condition?
Wel l , Si r, he was the least bit savagerous, Sir."
I S
Major once tried to walk across the bottom of Mitche l l'
s
pond with a pot over his head . E ve rybo dv was out to witness
the stunt. He got along fine unti l he stepped in a hole . Up
came the bubb les, and then came Major. He was sloshing,swearing and explaining, when the owner of the pot asked forhis property .
“Go to said Maj or, 1am no pot insurer.
t t t t t t
The Major was a great fisherman , He was out at the r iverwith the boys one day , and left his l ine to go back to the
wagon . The boys tied his umbrel la to the l ine, and yel led to
the Major that he had a bite .
“Don
'
t you touch i t , Don'
t you touch it . he yel led: I
want to pul l h im out mysel f.
He got hold of the pole , and pulled and pul led , and sworeat what a big one it was . The boys offered to help him , and
t old him they believed he had a cooter.
You'
re a l iar, Sir, I'
m only afeared the po le'
ll break .
lt'
s the biggest fish in the river, I'
m just p laying.
him to tire
h im out ."
The boys le ft before the haul .
Maj or and Judge H . W, Hopkins were once arguing as towhether or not the
“bull bat
"and whippoorwil l were the same
bird when Maj or cl inched and cinched by saying,“You are a
fool , I'
ve seen a bul l - bat a whippowilling a many a time .
Major Remer Young died in Thomas County , Georgia in185 9 , and in his wil l endowed Young
'
s Female Col lege , whichmay now be seen in Thomasvi l le . In early l i fe he was marr ied ,
and later he was d ivorced by a special act o f the GeorgiaLegislature , the courts having no authori ty to grant d ivorces at
I 6
that time . Honorable A . T. Macin tyre, deceased , to ld me thathe was trave l ing from New York to Thomasvi l l e with MajorYoung on one occasion , and that a passenger on the stage rodesome two hundred miles out of his way to hear the Major tel lthis story:
A pretty young widow lived in a Georgia town ; and amongher more successful admirers, were a cer tain M . D . and our
friend . The Doctor who , according to Maj or, had inheritedthe degree from his deceased wife
'
s first husband was annoying
the gentleman with the mi litary title no l ittle ; and after variousand positive assurances from those in a position to know, that
the medical man was a coward , the Major chal lenged him to
fight a duel , an occu rance not uncommon. but somewhat dan
geron s in these parts at that time .
Major Young had never fought a due] , in fact, i f the truthmust be known , he didn
'
t want to fight a duel , go up in a bal
lo on. o r chase the Indians; being satisfied to enj oy his amp lefortune, and if possible, marry the widow. He had taken the
extreme step relu ctantly , after due consideration by himsel f andfriends
,an d expected no results save the diminution of the local
Medical Practitioners by one , and his eventual winning of the
widow .
Dr . Strong was much d isturbed by the chal lenge, but noneof his family having fai led to fight when honor demanded , he
pulled his nerves together , and suggesting horse pistols as the
weapons, asked the Maj or to name the date .
Upon receipt of the answer, there was another meeting of
the chall enger'
s frien ds, and some explanations were not at al l
sati sfactory to the Major , who cursed his fr iend s b lunder andbemoaned his fate . The die was now cast. There was no re
treat; one o r the other must be disgraced or d ie , and the Major'
s
brave friends would never hear of i ts being him . The time and
place were appointed , and a l ist of the seconds sent the doctor .
Major Young and his se conds“ now suspended business and
went to the woods every day to commune with nature and prac
I 7
t ice the chal lenger in marksmanship . A bul let was suspendedfrom a l imb by a thread , and the obj ect was to cut the thread ,
first , at a few paces, and then more as the apprentice improved .
Of course no one was supposed to be present at the exhibitionsof marksmanship except our brave chal lenger and his trustedfri ends .
I t soon began to be narrated aroun d that the Major could cutthe thread the first shot , at ten , then twenty , then thirty paces,and so on, but the modest Major blushe d when he was co n gratu
lated in a crowd by his many friends . Time passed slowly .
The due lers l ooked wel l , and a few bets were be ing placed onthe final outcome . Littl e was heard from the Doctor, and the
Major seemed reconciled to his fate , whatever it m ight be .
On the morning before the date of the duel , the chal lengerwas walking slowly toward the l ivery stable to meet his friends
and have his last practice . A voice ahead , addressing our friendby his mili tary cognomen , start led him .
"What?
"
said he
Yes , he has l i t a rag . came the reply from the crowd .
He left on this morning'
s stage .
The Doctor gone!"
On the last stage . came the assurance .
Wel l ."
said the Major, breath ing a sigh of rel ief, He was
!ust in time , my trunk is packed , and if he had wa ited until tomorrow, we both would have been o n th: same stage . Boys
the treats are on me .
I t is as natural for a smal l boy to rob a bird'
s nest, as it i s
for a smal l dog to chase a cat. Abbott Turner and J im Reid , of
Thomasvil le , went out to stay al l n ight with li ttle Guy ton McLendon . They looked for bird eggs al l the afternoon . Their
most valuab le find was some buzzard eggs of which they werevery proud . They left them on the shel f on the back porch
18
when they washed for supper . They slept that night as onlysmall boys can . The next morning after breakfast, Mrs .McLendon heard a big racket in the kitchen , and found the boys in a
very ser ious al te rcation with the cook , who had put the buzzardeggs in the waffl es which the family had eaten for breakfast .
Both the cook and Mrs . McLe ndo n depreciated the occurrance ,bu t that didn
'
t return the boy'
s eggs. Now they ar e more careful with buzzard eggs.
l drove up to a hou se in the coun try, and heard the father ofthe family fre i l ing the very l ife o ut of
“
Ludden and Bates. his
young son . Said l:“
John , how did you happe n to name that boy after the Sava
annah music house .
“ ‘Well he said ,
“
l'
l l tel l you . When that boy come , us wu z
al l mighty proud . You know all our chillu n s was gals , andid l ow every time , i f 1could only git a plow hand . So when
des here chile come , we was mighty perplexed to give him a pro
pris te name . l wanted to name him Savannah , Florida ! West
e rn Railroad Company , but the ole lady said the bovs would shocal l h im 8 . F . 6:W . , fer short , and she thought that wuz a ho rrid name , so u s j ust compe rmized and called him
“
LuddenBate s,
"
and l w uz lickin'
him'
cause he wouldn'
t work .
"
l attended a Colo red Church , several miles from town The
parson , after exho rting for quite a whi le upon the text: Marble !Marvel!not, and pointing out how al l the young whiteboys. and young niggers , were going r ight to hel l , fer playing ermarbles in de front yard
,behind de kitchen , in de streets, and on
de sidewalk , when the holy word said:“Marble n o t; announ
ccd that they wou ld have the Treasurer’s report right after theservice .
“Now, Bre the ren and Sisters . said the Treasurer, it gives
me great p leasur e to announce , that the treasury have in hand ,
seven do l lars and thirty- five cents."l moves. said a brother,
“Dat de Treasurer count out de
money on de barre l head , and let us al l look at i t.
The Treasurer was forced to oppose the motion , and tr ied toexplain how he had the money, but didn
'
t have i t with him , how
he had it,and ho ixr he didn’
t have , as the author of the motionexpressed it . The motion prevai led , however, and somewhat ofa d isturbance fo l lowed . The matter was final ly settled by BrerWil l iams keeping the Treasurer's bl ind horse unti l he couldshow up the money. Upon promising not to again be so dere l ictin his duty, the Treasurer was retained in his o ffice , and everyon e satisfied .
$ 0 3 0 0 .
Mr. W. C. Snodgrass and l were trying to map out a coursefor a railroad to St . Joseph
'
s Bay . We were in Liberty or Ca lhoun County Flori da, with a team and driver. Night overtookus it always does , i f you don
'
t move on . Our d river had re
marked earl ier in the day , that he was fully conversant with thestars, and could drive as wel l at night as in the day . There
fore, when we were refused lodging. and told to drive on to thenext n e igbo r
'
s, some seven miles, we didn'
t feel that there wasany danger of Pete not getting us there . We drove along le i
sure ly, talking , smoking and joking, unti l al l o f a sudden wefound we were not even in a road . We stopped the wagon andleft Pete with the horses, while Mr. Snodgrass and I , one on oneside, and the other on the other, undertook to find the road .
The road had evidently been moved , because we would have
sworn we were in it a minute before .
"Look here , Pete . said Mr. Snodgrass, How about those
stars? Tel l me which way is north ?
Pete looked all around , and said he could, i f he could onlyfind the north star, but he couldn
'
t find it.“
Pete how about your knowing al l about the stars , thought
20
Of course , this i l lustration made the negro , Pete , feel perfect
ly at ease , and we fol lowed our pil ot with absolute confidence .
After so long a time we got to Mr . Chester'
s . He had a great
big house with three rooms, and volunteered to let us stay forthe n ight, saying it was ten miles to the next house . Mr . Snodgrass and I went in
,and were enj oying that great poor man
'
s
blessing in the south:“A Lightwood Knot Fire , when Mr .
Chester came in to bring us water . I thought it was up to meto say something pleasant to show my appreciation of his hos
pital ity , so I said"Mr. Chester, this is a mighty fine country you have down
here?
Mr. Chester looked at me,and I l ooked at Mr . Snodgrass,
then Mr . Chester put down the water, stretched himself , andsaid :
Wel l , hit used to be , but hits gittin'
too ful l o f folks now
to suit me , so I reckon I'
ll have to go fur ther South .
Mr . Snodgrass said it was bad to be crowded . and we al l
depreciated the congestion the worl d was coming to . Next
morning Mr . Chester directed us to the next neighbor’
s .
At Bristol,Pete was asked whom he was with , and when he
rep lied ;“
Messer s Macln ty re and Snodgrass , he came prettynear getting lynched for insolence before he could explain that
such was real ly their names . Pete says he don'
t want to go to
Florida any more .
Mr . Stevens was a wel l to do citizen of Thomasvil le , i t beingknown that he was easily solvent, he had many cal ls. Further
more , he wasn'
t careless about money matters , any way . His
young friend , Jesse , had come to town , and been elected consta!
ble . Having had business transactions with Mr . Stevens , he
looked him up , and asked him to go on the bond , which al l
constab les had to give .
22
Ah , said the old man Je sse , my boy, l'
d be the g l addest
in the wo r l d to accomodate you , but you know I can'
t write .
Jesse was very much dissapo in ted that his old friend shouldhave gone back on him , but he final ly succeeded in making the
bond as required . Several years after Mr . Stevens decided hewould like to go to the legislature . Rememberin g his early
friendship with Jesse, he looked him up and said:"Jesse , my boy , I have been urged by many friends to run
for the legislature,and havin g great confidence in your judge
ment, and knowing you have my interest at heart , i want youradvice.
"
“
Well , said Jesse: !have kn own you a lo n g time , an d ,
ord inari ly , would be glad to see you have any honor to whichyou might aspire , but, do you know , Mr . Stevens , 1 think it
would be a sin , a shame and d isgrace for Thomas County tosend a man to the legisl ature who couldn
'
t write .
"
Mr. Steven s didn’
t run .
Q t t t t t
l was pursuing the practice of law in Thomasvil l e . 1got an
accoun t against a merchant in a n earb y town . l was not afraidabout the account, as the merchant, Mr. X . “I cal l him , seem
ed to have a good business and acting in good faith . Considerable correspond ence had passed , and my cl ients were gettin g a
littl e impatient. About th is time I heard Mr . X , had gone intothe newspaper business . 1took my pen in hand , and wrote Mr ,X. that my clients had instructed to p roceed ,
that I intendedbringing suit, and , that l th ought it inexcusable for him to start
out in the newspaper business without fulfil l ing his obl igationsto his cred itors . I got a rep ly about as fo ll ows:
Dear Sir
1note the company has instructed you to proceed , that is
al l right, it is their business, and I don'
t feel hard at them , Inote you intend suing me , that
'
s al l right, that'
s your busine ss ;
23
and I don’
t fee l hard at you . Butwhat I wan t to know, and
what 1think 1have a right to know , and what l think yo uought to tel l me , is:
“
Who in the hel l is that white- l ivered , lying , l ibe lous, repu tatio n ruining scoundrel that told you I was going into thenewspaper business?
fiv fi t t t t
Everyone who dies satisfied , has, at some time , tried hishand at farming , chickening , egging , buttering, etc. l have al
ready had mine. l tr ied it , 1am wiser now .
But what l started out to tel l about is my Angora goats, l hadread and re- re ad a lot about goats, goats, big, l i ttle and indiffer
ent. 1 had goats on the brain . I bought some . They wereAngoras, and 1 cou ld figure ou t so much profi t on them , that l
thought the currency wou ld have to be increased to supply mydemands . They were a curiosity to the neighbor s . The coloredpeople wou ld come by on their way to church , and amp , andlook , and wonder . Brother Wi l l iams would say:
“
Look there, Bre the rn , at them sheep . And brotherJohnson would say
Ur- e r , Brer Wil l iams, them aint sheep ,them
'
s goats, don'
t
you see them horns? And brother Jackson wou ld say:“
Yes , dey is sheep , who ever heard er goats lookin'
lak dat .Just about that time an o ld ram would jump up on a stump ,
and with a hal f sneeze and half blow,wou ld give the character
isticz—“Put, Put,
"and the bre then would remark in unison:
Ur- e r , them'
s goats, they goats ."
The goats were a nuisance about jumping, and l was veryanxious to get a remedy . A fe l low wrote me that if 1would t e
mit, he wou ld te l l me how to keep the goats from jumping afence . Now, 1 had heard of the Guarantee Cure for TexasBugs,
"
which came in the shape of two l ittle b locks. with in
struction to p lace bug on “A, and strike hard w i th
“B,
"and
i f there was no fatal ity, to write immediately, 1had also heardof the old sel l of teaching the horse to spit to ste p slobbering,
24
but I couldn’
t foresee any sel l in stopp ing goats from jumpin g .
The remedy was:“
Put a plank on either side of the fence,and the goats would
walk over .
I presume it was old , bu t l had never heard it .
About this time , 1was o n a train coming home from Savannah . A rather i ll iterate farmer got on , and sat beside me .
After the usual prel iminaries , we exchanged names, and he re
marked:“Macln ty r e , well , I
’
ve heard of you , my chest began to
swel l with pardonable pride that my reputation as a lawyer wasspreading so far from home, and was about to offer treats, whenmy friend continued
“And , by the way. hOW i s them goats gittin
’
along?
1afte rwards gave away the goats to two of my friend s , 1now have no goats , and two less fr iends.
Ernest Bal lard and Ge n e Wiggin s were in the primary de
partme n t of the South Georgia Col lege. Wiggins had beenmisbehaving, and Miss Barnes , his teacher, had sent him downto the office of prin cipal Lynes, with a notez—
“To severely pun
ish Gene Wiggins, the bearer , who had been guil ty o f gross mis
behavior .
G e n e started down , and met Ernest coming up . Knowing
ful l wel l what was in the note , he requested his friend to pleas
hand it to CO ] . Lynes , while he bought a loaf of bread from thebread wagon . Earnest was a very accomo datin g l ittl e boy ,
so he took the note in , and was given a seat while the
Colonel pr epared some of those long , keen , elastic switches,such as never grow except when one is a l ittl e boy . Ernest
soon caught on , in fact, the experience made a striking impres
sion Upon him . He is grown now,but wil l hardly mail a letter
for a friend .
2 5
A pen dix Mason , is a co lored Hardshel l Baptist preacher ,working for Mr. T. P . Jones during the week , and preaching ina li ttle church , which he built himse lf and ful ly owns, on Sunday . wish here to say that l bel ieve A p . to be a good faithful
negro , and that his shortcomings, which l he re relate , are error sof his head and his confused standard of morals.
As 1said , A p . owns his own church and gets al l his col leetions . He is especial ly in evidence at a funeral , enjoying nothingmore , Last year he and the other negroes had the biggest timesince the war. having two funerals in one week . A p . thinks
nothing so sin ful as whistl ing a reel , and , due to his influence ,this diabolical sin is disappearin g on the p lantation where he
works . A p . used to be a tenant of mine . When he was withme, he had hard luck in getting , as he said ,
“Heal thy Mules,
for his mule would d ie every year as a resul t of starvation andmistreatment . A p . didn
'
t leave my place voluntar i ly , nor d id I
run him off , the sheriff took him . A p . had mortgaged some l ive
stock , which he didn'
t own , to Mr . C . T. C andy , for a horse .
The horse as usual , died . and Mr. Candy proceeded against the
security , and found A p . had made false pretenses . A p . explain
ed to the court, but, nevertheless, was given twelve mon ths .
He has never gotten well o ff enough again to rent land, that'
s
why he is working for wages. When A p . escaped , or , rather,
worked out his legal entanglements, l greeted him one day , and
in reply to my salutation , he said“Yes Sir, Mr. Mac the white folks treats the niggers
mighty mean sometime, but , let me tel l you , they can take the
poor n igger and ’
cuse him er stealin'
, and have a passale er other
niggers tel l l ies on him , an put him in the gang , but, thank God ,
there is one thing they can '
t get, they can'
t get de poo r nig!
gers’
l igon , when he gits dat, he is go t something neither white
folks nor niggers can ever git away from him . Yes , Sir, l'
m
gwine ter have a revival next week , Sir.
26
Dr . Ainsworth came by for me in his auto , to go out and seethe prize fight . it was to take p lace at Bob Mitchel l
’
s, a resortfo r colored people on the outskirts of Thomasvil le , on the orderof a miniature “
Coney island . There is no such place of amuseme n t here for white people, as not enough of them can affordto waste their money , but the colored man never has to spendmore than a third of his money for necessities in the South , sohas a plenty left for the dance hal l , the lemonade barrel , themul let stand and the bl ind tiger resorts.
We found several cars of white people when we got there ,and enough negroes to have taxed the capacity of a counting
machine . Upon our arrival we were so ld tickets and escortedto the
“
white folks reserved seats , The combatants in the big
event were Marion Ferguson,loca l champion , and famous over
South Georgia for his skil l , and Cape Town Joe, a yankee niggeras we were told , from somewhere up north . There were severalsupplemental l ittl e bouts between brats
,but everyone was get
ting impatient for the main event. Mitchell came to me to find
out about the prohibitory ord inance on the subj ect offights,wanting to know if it did or did not apply to niggers. l thoughtit did , and to the l ittle ones, too , who had already fought . Mitchel l thought,
“to be sure
,
"
1was mistaken . Ferguson cameto me and wanted to know if the law held good in a case wherea yankee nigger had come down here and said he could whipany nigger in Georgia, and that everything in New England was
better than it was in Georgia . When 1 told him it did ; he
thought it a mighty funny law . He said if the Mayor could see
Cape Town Joe , he knew it would be al l right for him to whip
him . The impropriety of having the fight in town , being settled ,
the crowd , white , black, and indifferent , repai red to the Boulevard , where a ring was fitted up in the open air, bu ggy l ines being used for ropes. Cape Town Joe was making preparation byhaving his seconds rub him down and bind his wrists, and Ferguson took two stiff d r inks . Mitchel l announced for the fight
ers to come forward . Ferguson appeared , but Joe'
s seconds an
n ounced that Joe would have to have a chair between rounds .Mitche l l thought he was getting mighty particular, the crowdagreeing , but sent for the. chair . When the chair came , the ann o u ncemen t was again made , and Joe sent word for Mitchel l toshow his second the T hirtv ive Dollar purse , which had beenpromised to the victor. Mitchel l d idn
’
t have but twenty- eight ,and Joe said he wouldn
'
t fight . Mitchel l said Joe was a dad
b lasted suck egg hound , and with the whole crowd of negroesfollowing, started toward him with a tie rein to swing him to a
l imb , they all being highly indignant that their white friends
should be disappointed after so much annoyance . We then in
te rve n ed and made up enough to bring the pot to the ThirtyFive Dol lars . Joe came to the r ing , and we thought the fight
was to proceed , but he hesitated , asking who was the referee
and was to ld Mitchel l . He said he knew Mitchel l to be a gen
tieman of the highest integrity , but if there was no objection , he
would l ike to have a white man referee .
Mitche l l said Joe evidently d idn'
t know where he was at,and at the next hesitation he would take a posse and drown him
in the creek . Fred Dismukes made Bob hush , and offered tokeep time , suggesting that R eese be referee . Joe was now sati s
f ied as white men would officiate at the ring , and so put on the
gloves . in the meantime , Fergerson took two more d r inks .The pugil ists were in their chairs . Fe rge rso n l ooked like a
young giant, weighing some two hundred and fi fty pounds, al lmuscle . Joe weighed about one hundred and fifty but looked
active . A l l the negroes, except two or three , were betting onthe local champion . At this j uncture , Joe jumped up as if he
had forgotten something, and asked who was holding themoney . Mitche l l said he was, and that furthermore ; he was going to kil l the black scoundrel after the fight, i f Fergerson hadnot al ready done so , that consideration for his white friends wasal l that kept him from doing it then . Dismuke made Bob givehim the money
,and time was cal led .
The combatants went through the l'
l l‘
S t round without any
28
Thomasvil le again . Ferguson nowsays the troub le wasz- l H e
waited to o long to knock Joe out.
Parson Persons was a country divine of the Methodist persuasion . He fought all sorts of iniquity, espec ial ly those whowere gui l ty of “singing a reel ,
"or absenting themselves from
church . H is good wife was e qual ly pious, and was as d ietingu ished for devotion to her husband as for her piety . it was the
Quarterly Meeting Sunday , and Rev . and Mrs. Persons werepreparing for church .
“Sal l-Ann , git my buckskin watch chain . Where is my
new cel lu loid co l lar? Git that pair of suspenders the Sundayschoo l give me Christmas . Whar
'
s the coat the Lovers of the
Lord gave me on my birthday? Can'
t you git some of the mudoff them new boots the convention give me last me e tin
'
? I do
know we aint a goin '
to be ready in time ;" could be heard all
ove r the house .
Mrs. Persons at last got her Reverend Lord in shape .
Spick and Span , with his bib le in his hand . Mr. Persons
took a seat on the fron t porch , and began re ad ing the bible ,then he l ighted his pipe , then removed his chair to the othe rend of the porch , then he said:
“Sail -Ann , ain t you never gwine to git ready?
Catch the horse dear, and I'
ll be ready by that time, camethe response . As the horse was already caught, the parsondrove him round to the front gate. and ye lled
“Sail-Ann , l do be lieve you
’
d keep the whole p lan of sa lvat ion waitin
'
on them fr i l ls and furbe lows of yourn .
Mrs. Pe rson was sti ll busy tripping aro und ‘
the room, about
to complete her to ile t,'
when this came from her Lord:“There now, Sal l-Ann , l have done gone and Spit on the bos
om o f my bile shirt, a watin'
fer you . I do declare you w immen wil l drive aman to distraction.
30
Come here, dear, was the rep ly from with in . The parsonre luctantly and su llen tly obeye d .
"You are al l right now , take
that bucket of slops on the back steps to the cal f, and “1be inthe buggy when you get back ; !patting him on the cheek unti lhe had smi led .!The cal f evidently hadn '
t been fed lately , or else it was a
very greedy cal f, without any table manners at al l , for whenthe parson set the bucket in the lot, the calf ran up and pushedhis head a way down in the bucket, tried to drink and breatheat the same time, and so got strangled , pul led his head out, andhold ing it up right in front of the parson
'
s bent over figure ,gave a sneeze such as only a cal f with nostrils ful l of chickengravy , beef marrow, pot l icker and meal brand , could . The
parson was now a ruined ci tizen , outwardly, and dejected , but
wrought up , inward ly . His bi led shirt and broadcloth coat werethe personification of disorder and d iscord , and he was as inhar
mo n io u s spiritual ly and mental ly as he was physical ly . He rea
ched down and got the cal f by each ear, and soused his headdown into the slop bucket, saying:
“Take that. durn ye , take that, i f it wasn
'
t for the Grace ofGod in my heart, l
'
d drown ye , dern ye
The parson went into the house and b lamed his wife for i tal l , said the Catholics were right: Preachers didnt have a bit ofbussn ess gittin
'
married .
1never did find out whether or not they got to church .
Back in the Popu l ist times a good many rather shady trickswere p layed to influence the colored vote . Mr. X. was a demo
cratic orator, sent to a certain district where negro cropperswere in the vast maj ority . He had about finished his address
to the colored vote , and was inviting questions, when an o ld
colored man arose, and put this to him:“
Mr. X., what fer do they cal l dese Popu lites, third party?
I hear'
em say , third party, and l wants ter know what fer deyuse dat name?
"
Oh , l'
m so glad you asked that , l was about to forget to
explain it. By the way , Uncle Mose , who do you work with ,and on what terms? "
“l works fo r Mr. Smith , on halves .
“A ll you nigger croppers hold up your hands ,!hands go up!
How do you work?"
“Us all works on halves .
Now, that'
s just it. It has been customary in many neighbo rho o ds to work croppers on halves . The democrats al l pract ice it, but these Popul ists come along and say hal f is too muchfor the nigger to get, and they are in favor of only giving him athird , whereupon , fair minded and righte ous men have dubbedthem third party, and the circumstances were so well known ,
that the name stuck , and they are known al l up and down this
broad land of ours as “Third Party .
“
Dat'
s so , Dat'
s so , mu rme red the audience assuring the
orator that they would stick by his party, no matter how thePopulists tried to explain out of their vi l l ianous intentions.
O t t t t ‘
Mr. Abraham was a prosperous Thomasvil le merchant. Oneday o ld man Taylor sent his son to get a thousand pounds ofbacon, for which he had previously arranged with Abraham .
The meat was p iled upon the scales until i t nearly reached theceil ing , then the merchant said to Bi l l
"Jump up dere and hold dat meat down for your daddy .
Bil l j umped up and held the meat on the sca les , and wassold to the o ld man at ten cents a pound .
t i t t t ‘
Abraham once to ld a farmer that he would give him a hugeiron pot, which he had been admir ing , if he wou ld buy it ful l o fsugar. The farmer agreed , and the two put the pot on the
32
scales, fi l le d it ful l of sugar, and weighed the whole business .Abraham got sugar prices for the iron pot, which put him fourdo llars to the good .
ii fi t it t t
One day a bystander said to Abraham"Mr. Abraham , aint your son ! in - law, Joseph , a pretty smart
fel l ow?"
“Yes, Joseph is a smart boy .
A mighty good boy , aint he?
Yes, he is a good boy.
Honest , too , ain t he , Mr. Abraham?
Yes, too damn honest, thinks i t'
s smart.
Mr . Mitch Jones bought a bul l yearling from Mr.Lester. He was the prettiest, sl ickest, best formed cal f thatyou eve r saw, in fact, the very embodiment of ideal bu llho o d,
so thought Mr. Jones. About the same time Dennis Peak hadbeen given a calf o f the masculine variety by Mrs . J . WymanJones, !no relation to Mitch .! Peak
'
s calf grew, and the same
phenomenon was characteristic of the Jones’ calf. So far as therecord goes, the two year l ings were never seen together . Justat the time when Mr. Jones' hu ll was approaching maturity, andwhen i t stood highest in its owners estimation. Denn is was looking for
“apple of his eye , and came across the Jones
'
po se ss
ion , and , deciding that the animal was his own , and that it hadforever given up al l propensity of domestication, s laughteredthe unsuspecting bovine and sold the carcass to the butcherThis tragedy was quite a misfor tune to Mr. Jones, and an annihilating calamity to the bu l l .
Mr. Jones employed his nephews, Walter Hammond andMe, to bring civi l and crimina l action against Dennis, whom, he
claimed , had committed premeditated , felonious and d isastrous
33
cowcide or bu llcide , as the case might be , he d idn'
t kn ow much
about legal terms . The grand jury met and ind icted DennisWalter and 1met and brought suit in the Thomas County Court
for forty dol lars, the al leged value of the bull . Dennis employed J . Hansel ] Merri l l to represent h im . The case came up inits regular order , and Merril l had a Plea in Abatement, settingup that no civil action could proceed unti l the criminal actionhad been disposed of .
Now, 1had been at the Bar only a few months, and Walternot very much longer . W’e had both read and studied aboutPleas in Abatement, but always on a theoretical basis , th is l iveand living one threw us o ff our feet . it was l ike meeting a panther, when you were expecting a house cat .
Merril l finished reading the plea , and the Court asked what
the plaintiff had to say . l cr o uched down in my chair, andlooked as small as l cou ld , waiting for Walter to answer. Therewas no answer. l hadn
'
t gotten sure enough nervous until
now, for Walter had assured me that"we had a good case ,
and so l thought Mr . Merril l was only fool ing, and that Walterwould wipe the floor up with him in a minute . The courtthen said .
Mr. Macln ty re , what says the plainti ff?
l lo oked around and Walter was gone , for what, l didn'
t
know , but l had a premedi tation that it was for help , and hopedthat he would find it . it was now up to me to keep our case incourt unti l the help arrived . I asked for defendant
'
s authorities,and he handed me the fourth and seventh volumes of GeorgiaReports, where the doctr ine seemed to be laid down , but 1no
ticed that in both cases the subj ect of the larceny was a slave ,not a cow. l then read the cou rt the head notes to the decisions,
and took the position that they couldn'
t possibly apply to a mis
demeanor . But the Court said cow steal ing was a felony . I
agreed that it was now , but that at the time of the decisions we
were l iving under the common law,and that the offense was
only a m isdemeanor , under the old Engl ish system . I didn'
t
34
know anything more about what I was talk ing than did Mr .Merri l l and the Court , but I wanted the other side to do someexplaining . I had about explained out . The Court asked Mr .Merr i l l what he had to say about cow stealing being a misde
meanor, at common law . Mr . Merri l l said he had sent thesheriff after Blackstone and Kent
'
s Commentaries , and wouldelucidate the matter in a minute . l had accomplished my pur
pose. Walter surely was o u his way by this time .
Mr . Merril l picked up his text books, but couldn'
t find the
classification of cow steal ing so undertook to explain his pointby analogy . He read about Mayhem being a felo ny , and felon ious assaults bein g in the same class, and so on . My client came
over and whispered in my car :"What in the hel l has a man biting another
'
s ear o ff in Eng
land in the fourteenth century got to do with a negro steal ingmy bul l in Georgia in the twentieth century?
"
1told him if he d idn t si t down the Court would fine him ,
and he said"Damn the courts , and the lawyers too there is more ras
cal ity done inside the courts, than outside .
While l was engaged in shifting the burden of explainingfrom myself to the de fendant, Walter had sought refuge in the
wisdom of his father , Honorab le W . M . Hammond .
“
Look here , Papa, said he ,“
irwin is in a little troubl e upat the Court House , and l want you to tel l me how to help himout . He then explained the. trouble to his father . The pointbeing e lucidated , he re turned to the Court House just as l wason my last legs. We then exp lained to the Court that the lawhad been to preve nt a civil settlement in cases involving the person o f slaves unti l the rights of society had been vindicated bythe Courts.
The Court ordered us to proceed with the case . Mr Merri l lcal led his w itn e sse ss, and found that his star witness, Tom Jordanwas absent and so moved for a continuation until next termWhile the matter was being discussed , Tom came . it was now
35
nearly night,and Mr. Merri l l had worr ied himself into a severe
headache , and so informed the Court. The Court continued thecase unti l next term , much to the disgust of ou r cl ient , who had
lost awhole day with his hands from his crop , a loss o f about as
much consequence as the bull .
At the next term of Court we got a verd ict for twen ty doll arsand sent Mr . Jones into a fi t of al l - ove rs by tell ing him we hadappealed the case , and expected a new trial . Dennis was acquitted of the charge of larceny, as his in tentions seemed to begood even i f he had made a ser ious mistake .
l forgot to say that when Mr. Jones was given the money,he said:
"ifanybody ever steals anything from me again , i f the thief
doesn'
t tel l i t, “I swear I never will ?"
O t t t fi i
Honorable W . A . Covington was appeal ing to the Woolhat
boys to rise in their might with their votes and crush the infamous Plutocrats, who were sucking the l ife b lood of the nation .
He had paid especia l attention to Harriman . An inquisi tive
farmer arose, and addressing the speaker, inquired"Ain
'
t that Mr . Harriman a mighty rich man?"
Rich man, rich man ,
"
repeated the orator, almost too disgusted to answer. Why, King Sol omon in all his g lo ry , withhis e ight hundred jewel wear ing wives, and his palace o rnamen
ted with p recious stones to such an extent that extra supportswere required to ho ld it up , and his thousands of slaves , decked
in o rien tial finery, and his c ities and his kingdom , astonishingancien t c ivil ization with their grandeur and magnificence , KingSo lomon , I say, in a l l his sp lendor , was nothing but a ha lf cropper compared to this man , Harriman .
t fi t t t t
Honorable Joseph M . Brown was a candidate for Governoragainst Hoke Smith . Covington was for Smith . He was d is
cussing Brown's prohibition cards, of which there were several ;
36
we didn'
t know how complicated a foot was. We knowed thata cracker had two feet , and that a foot had five toes, some o f
them l i ttle r than others, beginning with the big toe and git tin'
l ittler toward the l ittle toe . We knowed that he could crackhickory nuts with the bare hee l o f that foot, and that when abarefooted cracker came along, all the ants in the neighborhoodsounded the fire alarm as a warn ing that every part o f them feettouched the ground , and that i f an ant ever got thereunder, hewas sure to be crushed to death . I say , gentlemen of the jury ,we knew all of these things , but we didn
'
t know our cl ient car
r ied around such a menagerie of bones in his o ld socks . Wesurely ought to have sued for more . Why , gentlemen , imagin e
a man gittin his e plur ibus unurn mashed , and his sic semperty ran is fractured like that.
"
The !ury brought m a verdic t for the plaintiff.
if the people of this county should vote as to who was theirmost honest c itizen , Mr, Joseph Uhlm wou ld get - as many votesas anybody . Mr. Uhlm came to this country from Germany inl 85 8 , and had the unique d istinction of be longing to both theYankee army and the
'
Ku -Klux-Klan . No one around hereever suspected Unc l e Joe of having been in the Federal Armyunti l through force of necessity he appl ied for and got a civi lwar pension . Uncle Joe, after the war, became so thoroughlyaccl imated that he didn
'
t seem proud of his war record , or, atleast, when he got his pension , he gave the fo ll owing explanation of how he happened to serve
"You know it happened dis vay . I not vant to fight in de
c ivil var or de unc ivi l var, nor no other var . l vus not vant tofight at al l, l vu sn
'
t mad . I vus leave de o ld country ter gitout de mi l i tary duty . Bu t ven l comes ter d is country , 1 goester Ba ltimore, 1meets friends and dey says:
“
Joe , you vas ought to be long to our mil itary company,but 1says,
“
Not fer me , dats vy 1leaves de old coun try,'
cause
I don'
t van t ter fight some . Oh, but dey says,"Hit ain t
38
fight, h1t s just eat oyste rs and d r ink be er, drink beer and eatoysters, ye r know . But I says
"Not fer Joe
,I don
'
t l ike
dem b lue suits and buttons . But ‘dey keeps on sayin '
boutcatin
'
dern oysters and dr inkin'
dat beer, yer know,and no fight
,
yer know. And 1thinks a heap about cati n' dern oysters and
drinkin'
dat beer , yer know. And every time dey meets,dey
tel ls me'
bout catin'
dern oysters, yer know, and drinkin'
dat
beer, and so yer know, I thinks so much'
bout catin'
dem oys
ters and drinkin'
dat. beer , yer know , dat I says:'
i f you ar e
sure it'
s no fight, just to eat dern oysters and drink dat beer'
yerknow. I says I vo u ldn
'
t care i f I vus belong , aldo ugh, I says,
yer know , I dc'
m'
t like dern suits and buttons, yer know, j ust
wants ter eat dern oysters and drink dat beer, ye r know . So
dey says:“Joe you vus elected , and l vus have a big time, catin
'
dem
oysters and dr inkin'
dat beer , yer know, and no fight yer know .
And way after whi le , yer know , dern te l lers vhat vears dern
bro adcloth and silk suspenders, yer know, vas decided dati
dose
vhat vear overal ls and leather britches , ye r know , must have big
war, yer know , but dey says it vus be a l i ttle bit of a war, yerknow . But I says:
l do n'
t vant to fight, even in no little bit of a war, ye t
know, l vusan'
t mad , and I don'
t se e vy , yer know, a cab driver, yer know, in New York , ye r know , must shoot a crackerin Ge rgia, yer know . But dey says, yer know, dat ve mustpreserve de union , yer know .
"
“Ve il , it seems ter me dat it vus a dam poor vay ter preserve
de people , yer know, ter put one half ter shootin'
de other half.
yer know . And all de time , yer know, 1vus just join dat mil i
tary company ter eat dern oysters and drink dat beer, ver know
5 0 l says:“Joe vus not go to fight in' no l ittle bit of a var, don
'
t care
if only one man gits ki l led ,’
cause dat one man might be Joe ,
yer know . But de boys say, dey von'
t need us ter fight, ve vus
39
just organ ized ter eat dern oyster s and drink dat beer, yer know .
But dey says
Ve must vo lunteer ter show ve vus'
love de country , and
dat ve vu sn'
t scared , yer know , and dat de President he vi l l r eply dat he von
'
t n ee d us , and ve vil l keep on eatin'
dern oystersan drinkin dat beer , yer know . So ve does, al l de time 1 don
'
t
l ike dis here broadening of de intent of de organization . A n d
de captain he vu s get reply .
“You vus accepted — Presiden t
Lincoln .
"
and l vus say ,“Ve vus p lay he l l . But de boys say ,
“
No , hit vil l be al l right, th ose vi l l not go vut don'
t van'
t to ,
and those vut do , vi l l be back in three ve eks. So ve meets,and I says ter mysel f ;
I vus go to be one vut fal ls out , ven de time comes . Butde captain he don
'
t say:“All desire to fal l out
,he says:
“Al l
soldiers stay in , al l dam cowards fal l out .“Vel l , l vasn
'
t no darn coward , yer know . I rather be gonethree months den ter be no darn coward , yer know, even if I
l oses my j ob wid old Jacobs ."
So al l of us ve stay in , and ve
vus go ter de front, and ve vus fight l ike hel l , yer know . A nd
l vu s say to myse lf: Joe , you vus play hel l'
scapin' mil itaryduty .
Vel l, I d idn'
t git kil led, and after d e war 1vus stay downhere, yer know , and dat vus al l . I vu s j ust j oin , yer know , ter
eat dem oysters and drink dat beer yer know .
"
Mr. J . Monroe Lee was once postmaster at Thomasvi l le .
One season he contracted to sel l fertil izers for one of the bigconcerns . He wr ote to the house and asked if they expectedhim to se l l only to white men , or to both colored and white .
He was to ld that the color l ine was not drawn by his employe r ,and to sel l on the same securi ty to white , black and indiffe ren t .Mr. Lee sold a good deal of ferti l izer .When fa l l came, collections were slow, and after consider
able corresponden ce the house sent down an agent to help co ll ect the notes. The Yankee came to Thomasville, and aftertalking over matters with Mr . Lee, said
40
Mr. Lee , I propose to draw a note out of that pigeon hole ,and no matter which one it is, and who it is against, we wil l goout and see the gentleman , and I
'
ll bet you I col lect some
money .
"All right, said the local salesman . The next day they
went down to Capt . Whitaker'
s“Kentucky Stables , and got a
team , which afterwards , cost the house ten dollars. They lookedat the note , drawn at random from the bunch , and saw it was
agai nst Juniper Lewis .“
Where does this gentlemen reside?"
inquired the Yankee .
“On the spring Hill Plantation , ten miles from town ,
swe red Mr. Lee . They drove out . When in the vicin ity of
their destination , the Northerner inquired of a passin g negro
Do you know Mr. Juniper Lewis?"
No , Sir.Does be l ive about here?
Nar, Si r, no sich man as dat live in dis bai l iwick .
Theymet another fiel d hand , and the same conversation
took place between the special agent and the local negro . They
met a third , who said positively that:“No sich man l ive on de old lrwin place , what
’
s cal led de
Spring Hil l Plantation .
"
Mr . Lee had been quiet as long as he could , so he spokeup , saying
“Look here, Buck , do you mean to tel l this gentlemen that
you don'
t know this confounded , b lack , knock- kneed , cro sseyed
June Lewis?"
The negro looked like he had just seen a l ight, and surprised , answered
“
Lord , Lord, Boss, course I does , I j est now understandwho you all talkin
'
about , course l knows Old June Lewis .
Didn’
t I marry one of his gals up dere before Squire Bibbs?"
"Where does he l ive ?
"
Why he live in de ten acre cut on de Spring‘H ill Place .
The Yankee squirmed about in his seat, and asked“My friend , has this man , whom you say is your father- in
law, any realty ?"
“
No Sar, Boss, fore God he aint, he ain t got nuffin l ike
Has he any personal ity ?
No Sar, Boss , so help me God , Old June aint got none erdern , aint nothin
'
ail h im'
cept a great big wart on de back er
his neck, and dats al l he got ."
Observing that al l Mr. Jun iper had with which to pay a fertilize r note was a wart on the back of his neck , our northernfriend drove back to Thomasvi lle , and instructing Mr . Lee touse his own best judgement in the future in the co l lection for ,and sal e of fertil izer , le ft for home .
‘ t t ’i t i
One of the mos t interesting rel ics of ante - bel lum days use d
to l ive in the southern par t of Thomas County . He had beena slave of an indulgent master
,whose slaves, Un cle Mose boast
ed , were innumerabl e .
l was talking to the old man one day while he dug a we l lAint you get ting that wel l pretty crooked ?
"said 1. We ll, sir ,
said Uncle Mo se ,
“
Time I git done , hit wil l average a straight ."
One of my Northern friends , by way of co nversation ,
said ,!
“
Uncle Mose I suppose you vote? “Oh , yes, sir -
7
’
deed1does .
"Do the white people obj ect to your voting?
"Deed
dey do n’
tu dey pays u s to vote .
"
1suppose , Uncle Mose , youhave a lot of in fluence about election time
“Well , sir, I used
to have ; I used to be de bigges'
nigger in the hole settl ement,Man , 1 i s been to de convention s ; I tel l you I is sho
'
had somegood times at de conventions. l is sot right down and e t anddrunk wid white folks . Dey wasn
'
t nothing but pub l icans, i tstrue , but dey was white, j est as white as you is . Well , Uncle
Mose, we wil l l eave you .
“
Vi/e ll, gentlemens, don'
t hurry; diswell am a case of pushancy , but l can work and talk both .
"
42
Uncle Mose , said 1, Before we leave , tel l my friend if you
could run when you were young.
“Ye s, sir , don'
t spit in my
good eye , tho: Yes , sirree , I could out run every nigger in dequarter,
'
cept one . and it was no disgrace to be beat by him'
cause he could sker up a drove er patr idge s, and ketch two'
fore dey li t."
"Unc le Mose , said I , Cou ld you get me a grave yard rabbit
at eleven o'
clock at night, on the ful l of the moon?"
Uncle Mosestopped digging . Look
'
e r here, white man , I knows you wanthis lef
'
hin'
foot for good luck, and to be sho'
i t would be goodluck, but I wouldn
’
t go dere at night if I had a gun wid one erdern expectorators on it, —what about dern ghosts Why, UncleMose, ghosts wouldn
'
t hurt you .
“N l knows dey wouldn
'
t ,
but dey might make me hurt mysel f."
Unc le Mose , said 1, Talking about rabbits, what wil l makea puppy bark on the trai l ? " “
Go'
way white man , you knows
dat de thing to do in a case l ike dat, is to feed de puppy o u t'
n a
tub - j es’
same as you gives'
um gun powder , i f you wants to
make'
um bite ; dat is to make'
um a good yard dorg.
"
Uncle Mose , spoke up my guest, Have you any object
ions to any of your white neighbors? " “Well sir, no more than
I is to al l white foks , and dat aint much ; I'
ll tel l you what 1go t
again white foks . You know, white foks is de most pecu liar ist
l knows of. Dey wil l gie you money and always gie you vituals,
even when dey cuss you while dey’ do it: dey loan you money
on Monday ter pay back Satte rday ,and long as yer pays de 2073
intrus'
, dey don'
t bother yer '
bout de principal . But dey makeme mad , and l tel l
'
em so,
'
bout not havin’
no confidence in nonigger . Why , Boss , i f dey was a house burnt , or a man found ,
dead , de white foks would gather round , and you'
d hear'
em
say—3 A nigger done it,‘
cause a nigger wil l sho'
burn a house ,a nigger wil l show r ob ye , and kil l ye ; a nigger can
'
t be countedon .
’
Yes sir, scusin’
my own white foks, dey wouldn'
t make no
d iffunce twixt me , and old Lige Brown ; while everybody would
laugh if niggers was to say,'
A white man'
l l do dis and do dat,’
43
and do de oder .
’
But what about Lige Brown , that you dontwan t to be classed with him? “
Well , sir, don'
t you know Li ge?
Lige is de o n e re st nigger ye ever saw . He wont wu rk and he
aint no count. You know how he done Mrs . Wynn ?" “
How
did he do Mrs.
ln n n ?" “Wel l , sir , Mrs. Wynn was er Yankee
woman what wanted ter do sum’
in fer de cu llud foks . She saw
Lige drivin'
er dem little o l'
blind mules what come mighty n ighgittin
'
him persecuted for cruelty to ani -mules, so Mrs . Wynn ,
she bought Lige a par'
of big , young mules, and had the l i ttle 01'
p0'
sore back mules put o u t'
n dere misery . De n e x'
time Lige
come ter town , he make i t convenient to acciden ly see Mrs .
Wynn , who want ter know how he come on . Lige say he do
mighty po'
ly ; dat de big mules was so strong and start off soquick, dey keep his harness broke and threaten him wid distruction . Mrs. Wynn laughed and give Lige some new harness ,den when Lige come to town again , Mrs . Wynn axed ‘
How'
e
he gittin'
long?’
Lige say he doin'
mighty po'
ly . He say his
o ld waggin i s weak , and chery t ime he come to er bog, dernbig mules pul ls de co uplin
'
pole into . De l ittle mu les wouldstal l , but de big
'
uns breaks de wagg in , so de kin'
lady gibs
Lige er bran'
n ew waggin , wid so much writin'
on it dat his
chillum i s actual ly learn in'
to read . De n e x'
time Mrs . Wynnsees Lige , she ax ed if all was well at last . Lige say al l was sick ;he say de big wagg in wouldn
'
t git under de l ittl e shed , so he
had to leave it in the wedder , and when he carried de famblyto mes tin
'
in de wet wagg in body, al l of dern cotch col’
, so Mrs
Wynn sunt out de doctor en de carpenter to supply Lige widhis re - qui-ments, and when de fambly gits wel l , and de newshed gits built, Mrs . Wynn inquire of Lige
’
s pro spec'
s and Lige
say he could segaciate alright, if it wasn'
t fer dem big mules ,and de good woman axe, Fer de Lawd
'
s sake , what was de
trubble now? Lige say dat de l ittle mules n'
eher eat much , and
he had er plen ty er corn to do de team and de fambly , but de
big mules is possessed uv er o utrageous appe tite , and duncleaned out his crib . Mrs . Wynn mos
'
fal l ober W 1d exasperation and she scolded Lige and give him a order fe r corn and
44
what he want? Mr . Chinee say‘
He want washe e an'
iro n e e ,
tend to his own business, bother nobody and hab nobody both
er him.
’
De'
Lawd tel l h im alright, and den turn and axe Mr .l njun what he want? Mr . lnjun say he want plenty bows andarrars, game te r shoot, squaws ter wu rk and nothin
'
ter do , andde Lawd say ; Alright, ye can hab em , and den he turn ter Mr .
Nigger , who am always late , and he axe Mr . Nigger what he
want, and Mr . Nigger he answer , Nuthin , Lawd , l j es’
come'
l ong wid dese other boys . And de Lawd say,“
A l l you'
l l go
back down and fol low my instructions .
Q O Q “ .
My friend John and I went out to see a game of base - bal l
between two teams representing the colored inhabitants ofneighboring p lantations .
After considerable argument an umpire was selected andthe Blacks were cal led to the bat, the Tans taking their p lacesin the field . There was much content ion 1n the first inning as
to whether the players would be restricted to store- bought bats ,also as to whether a batter could knock more than a home run:i . e
i
whether having circ led the p lates once , the runner cou ldcontinue , thus making more than one run at one time at bat
The umpire admitted— “
Any bat from a waggin - pole to a
walkin'- stick .
— Ruled that a runner could keep scoring unti lthe bal l was found , but admonished both teams that they could
have on ly nine men on a side .
There came pretty near being serious trouble in the fourthinning when a fielder caught a fly which had bounced from apine. Two rule books, bats, razors, etc. , were in evidence andcontr ibuted their influence to the decision .
The Blacks were e leven runs at the close of the first half o f *
the ninth inning, and the Tans only four . Cock- eye d Jim , the
star right fielder fo r the Tans, came to the bat with a homemade hickory , curved to fi t the delivery of the pi tcher as wellas the vis ion of Jim. Wel l!to rel ieve the suspense ; J im got a
46
HIT, and when the Blacks extracted the ball from a woodpecker
'
s nest , in center field , he had gone around E IGHT times,winning the game .
On o u r return to town , our car stopped and we could notmake it go on high . Then it got to where it wouldn
'
t run on
intermediate. !l i fted the hood and called my colored friendJim King, who l ived i n sight; he came out and watched me
tamper with the car , with much interest . Final ly having decided that the lubricating oil was out , l aske d Jim if he had any
machine oil .“
No , sir, us aint got no machine yet . Have you
any fresh butter?" “No , sir, us aint got no cow yet .
“
Have
yo u any fresh lard?“No , si r , us aint had no lard since the
p reacher e t wid us. Well!can I borrow a mule and saddleto ride to Beachton ? “
Please go get ole Gray and de saddle.
As I mounted the mule, l asked—
“J im,aint there any grease in
this community ?" “No
,sir
,Mr . Macx— l
'
ll swear dey aint no
grease'
round here 'cept some auter-mobi le grease Mr. Thompson lef
'
me .
t i t t ‘ .
Stubbs and I had both an n o uced for the legislature , trustingimpl icitly in the stupid ity o f the people . You know Carly legave the population of England as mostly fools:
we hoped the rule wou ld ho ld good in Thomas County.
A s there were several others in the race and only three tobe elected , everybody had to do a l ittl e canvassing . !went out to
Jim Murdock'
s and asked if I could talk a l ittle to him . He said
I could when he got through cutting wood . I took up anotheraxe and proceeded to show him how . I says, You haven
'
t
seen anything of Stubbs along here today, have you?" “
Lord
yes, said J im ,
“
He'
s back there milking my cow .
"
Another time Stubbs and 1met at Cool idge . Stubbs beat
me talking , but as it was a warm day , I held my hat in my handand got the reputation of being
“A heap the pe r litest.
4 7
Wel l, we were both elected , and when the time came started for Atlanta. The ticket were so we decided to r ide al lthe way. When we got to Albany and were in the act o f changing cars someone uncoup led the air brake and the noise madeStubbs drop the package con taining his other shirt . Stubbssaid,
“Here 1am , fi fty mi les from home, and I be dog if somebody ain t whistl ing at me!" We were sitting stil l , 1was thinkingand Stubbs re - arranging his prejudices when the porter asked ifwe wanted to take a sleeper, 1said I couldn
'
t sleep in the daytime ; Stubbs said neither could he , and besides he wanted tosee the scenery . The n ewsbu tch came along with some of
Dickens' novels, but Stubbs said he didn'
t l ike Dickens , the
print was too fine .
The lady on the seat ahead asked Stubbs rather coquettishly i f he knew any l imericks .
"Oh yes mam , said Stubbs, I
know Bi l l and John and old man Oscar was Pa'
s best friend .
"
Stubbs Warned the porter about putting any more coa l inthe stove as we were “
a lready ri ding too fast .
When we got near ly to Atlanta, Stubbs asked a drummerwho ran the hote l up there . The drummer said “
Mrs . Kimbal l ."
Stubbs said he be l ieved he would rather stop at a boardinghouse, because hote ls have a horse rack in front o f them andthe stamping of the horses kept him awake .
Wel l , we go t to Atlan taand registered . The clerk asked i fwe wan ted a room with a bath , but Stubbs said he wouldn
'
t
need one, as he bathed before he left home . The c lerk gaveus a room on the top floor and showed us the e levator. Whenwe got out Stubbs said ,
“The durn thing just did stop in time as
we wou ld have been half way to Heaven in five minutes more .
We wen t to bed and slept ti l l next morn ing, when Stubbssai d the peop le shore d id stay up late . l asked him how he
knew; he said the l ights on the streets were stil l burning at midnight. Stubbs also thought the people up there were mightyfar behind with their haul ing.
48
Stubbs dressed and asked me which way was the we ll. Ito ld him to push the button twice and he would get ice water.He held the pitcher to the button and pushed
,but couldn't get
adrop .
Stubbs turne d his cuffs and we went down to breakfastand the waiter asked if we wanted any breakfast food . Stubbssaid he shore did: he hadn't had any supper
,and he wante d
fried ham, fr ied eggs, coffee, pan cakes , corn muffin si
and biscuit; if there was any extras, he
'
d take them too.
We wen t over to the Capito l and started on our legislativecareer. l prepared a bill , Making the rules of poker uniformthroughout the state, and a l lowing a man to O pen a !ack-pot
'
on apair of tens.
"This I thought necessary for the protection
of innocent parties, but as Stubbs wouldn'
t j oin me , I didn'
tput it in .
We had Lithiawater to drink and electr ic fans to keep us
coo l , When the oratory wou ld get so dense as to warm the
water and clog the fans , then we'
d go out into the smokingro om. Stubbs develope d much e lo quence . H e never drankwate r while speaking as he said,
“lt didn
'
t take wate r to run a
wind m i l l. However an orator isn'
t much appre ciated by a
hal l fu l l of other orato r. We j oined the smoking club and hadto pay ado l lar . Then we would wait for o the r suckers to ge t
other do l lars!
One fel low wanted to raise legislators'
pay from to
per diem but Stubbs objected . He said the pe op le wou ldsoon send men instead of men.
Stubbs made agreat spe ech one day , had a lo t to say about
o ur fo re - fathers and our historic inheri tance. In fact he t'
rod
from cloud to cloud and jumped from star to star. When hehad fin ished he sm iled with pardonab le pride whi le UncleBi l lie W i lson of Gwinnett addressed the chair . I thought Uncle
Bi l lie was going to propose avote of thanks fo r such a treat of
oratory ,— so did Stubbs. But Uncle Bi llie moved"that the
Gentleman's apo logy be accepted .
" Stubbs was indignant and
49
to ld Uncle Bil l ie that it was a shame to have fun poked at aman of such oratorical and l i terary powers. Uncle Bi l lie said
he was glad to know Stubbs was so l iterary as he looked l ikehe
"wou ldn'
t know a fly spe c from a punctuation mark.
We l l, we soon caught on and Stubbs is now a veteran in
the art . He can go all over Atlanta by himself, day or n ight ,He can order a meal at a restauran t wi thout the bi l l- of- fare andknows al l the drinks at the soda fountain . He knows all of thenames of the p layers on the Atlan ta base-ball team and cante lephone to any number in the ci ty . He is abso lutely fortifiedagainst faces and fakirs, and can
'
t be foo led with near-beer,near- soup and near- pot- l icker. We are both experienced statesmen now.
5 0
