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Larissa the MOM by Larissa the MOM's friends & family in expectation of baby Aria March 2015 You are awesome, Larissa. And we love you!

Larissa the Mom

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For Larissa the Mom, by Larissa the Mom's Friends & Family, in anticipation of baby Aria's arrival!

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Page 1: Larissa the Mom

Larissa the MOM

by

Larissa the MOM's friends & familyin expectation of baby Aria

March 2015

You are awesome, Larissa.And we love you!

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From Susan

Dear Larissa,

I miss our Monday Mom meet-ups! I am so thankful to you for starting the Mom's group back when our kids were barely even a year old...barely sitting up and just starting to grow teeth! And now Voila! We have kindergardeners...seems like we blinked and suddenly they sprouted into precocious little people.

That's the way it may seem in hindsight, but in reality there were so many long days and nights and trials and challenges that we all went through, and I'm thankful that we had the support of one another to deal with those things.

Thanks for being such a great listener throughout those baby to toddler to preschooler years...I always felt heard and understood by you...it means a lot! I have in different situations felt comforted, encouraged, challenged or led to deeper

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reflection/introspection after talking with you whether it be about our kids, husbands, work, relationships or faith.

As I reflect on those days at Palmer Park (and other parks), it reminds me how blessed I have been that God let our lives and kids' lives intersect for those years. And I appreciate your initiative and intention in creating community for us women. As you look forward to the blessing of a third precious child, I pray that you will feel loved and supported and cheered on by me and all your friends who have been so loved, supported and cheered on by you through the years!

Love,Susan

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From Jeanne

Dearest Larissa,

Happy "Almost Baby #3" Day!!! You and Steve are about to be outnumbered...but have no fear because you are an AMAZING mother and woman. You got this. I know you do. Know why? I've known you for 15 years, and have witnessed firsthand your strength, tenacity, humor, creativity, and love towards others -- especially your children.

We became mothers together, journeying through the myriad of emotions and chaos that go along with that role. I have so many memories of our weekly park dates, which kept me sane through insane times. You were a significant part in that -- your friendship, encouragement, and wisdom were vital in my life!

In the past 5 years, I've seen you struggle through and succeed in challenging parenting moments, in large part due to your willingness to be flexible and openness in learning directly from Aaron and Alex what specifically they need from you. THAT my friend, is a gift, and one of the many things that makes you a wonderful, attentive mother.

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More importantly, I've seen you hold steadfast to your values, placing God in the center of your family. It times of uncertainty, I've admired how you hold on to this "anchor", keeping you stable and on course. So in all, YOU GOT THIS. Baby Aria is entering a family full of grace and truth, led by a beautiful, strong, giving Mommy.

And even though you are on an island far far away, your community is still here to support you! I am still here to encourage you, cry with you, laugh with you, and hope with you. We can continue to talk about how to discipline our active boys, how to love our feisty daughters, or vent about those moments we just want to SCREAM and tear our hair out. Let's continue to do all that! Because 15 years of friendship with you means so much more than this little note can say.

I wish you and Steve a smooth, boring labor & delivery so that you can save your energy for a wild adventure ahead in your "Party of 5"!

I love you so much!

Many blessings,

Jeanne

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From Chante

Larissa,

I’m not a mom, but I’ve loved watching you be a mom to your kids. I have seen God grow you in patience, trust, sacrifice, reliance on Him, and the realization (and accompanying gratefulness) that He asks you neither to be a Super Woman nor a Super Mom. I searched and searched for pics of the two of us, but realized that most of my pics are of your kids—maybe because I have loved hanging out with them as much as I love hanging with you! It’s been my joy—not just to watch you be a mom to them—but to become friends with them as well. Looking forward to meeting my next lil friend!

Love,Chanté

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From Natasha

Larissa, you are a naturally attentive, fun, and amazing mom! I especially admire your ability to go with the flow, talk to your kids in a way that is both as a mom and just a fellow human being, and how fun you are. Oh, and don’t get me started on your many crafty and culinary mom talents! Incroyable!

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From Cathy

Dear Larissa,

Hey, remember that time we had crazy awesome spiritual companion conversations? Which time? That's what I'm saying! So many times! Remember that other time I was a big freaking pile of mashed potato brains and snot and almost died from sheer confusion and pain? Which time? So many times! And guess who was there with me (you can't say 'Jesus.') YOU! You, my dear, strong, wise, balanced, normal, creative, fun, good friend!

I'll never forget the first time I went over to “the blue house” when Aaron was first born. It was the beginning of our friendship and adventure in mom-hood. I didn't even know I was pregnant with Noah at the time, and I had no clue how our friendship

would grow over the years.

I have learned so much and changed so much from waddling along beside you. It seems silly to even try to capture it. I am simply grateful to be your friend.

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When I think about you as a Mom, the first think I think is, “Best. Mom. Ever.” I'm actually kinda serious. I sometimes have a floating Larissa conscience where I'll be about to do something really immature or harsh with Noah, and then your head pops to mind, and I'm all, “OK, Cathy, be an adult. Take a deep breath, and be nice and responsible, etc.” Is that weird? Don't answer that.

Specifically, I love how you've found a way to maintain your own identity apart from being a Mom. You're still YOU and finding ways to take care of yourself and cultivate your interests and passions while fully embracing motherhood. I'm also super impressed by your habit of having habits. You know, rhythms and such that keep your life centered on God and caring for your soul and others. I suck at routines, so I am constantly inspired by the sanity of how you approach and organize your hours. I've also appreciated seeing how you seek external

wisdom about parenting while deeply trusting your own intuition about things. And...so much other stuff! Baby Aria is going to totally freak out with excitement that she gets you for her Mom. Noah & I bless you, Steve, Aaron, Alex, & Aria with pure grace, deep peace, and profound joy. Now & Always! Love ya!

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From Terry

Dearest Larissa,

I am deeply grateful to our Heavenly Father for blessing me with a daughter like you. As you await the arrival of precious little Aria, I want you to know how heartwarming it is for me to observe you as a mother over the last almost six years.

You promote good health, nutrition, physical fitness and rest without getting overly fanatic. You are ableto sift through the various parenting resources and find what matches your values and beliefs about

family and young children. You are able to tune into and adjust to each of your children’s unique temperaments and stages of development. You recognize the importance of unstructured play and carve out time for this. You are able to create teachable moments throughout the day, even when it takes more time for Alexandra to buckle her own seatbelt. Your home is full of books and toys that promote use of imagination and language. You stay in close communication with Aaron’s school and teacher.

You are able to guide your children with a balance of kindness and firmness, structure, organization

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and flexibility. You are able to juggle various roles, activities and demands, while weighing what is in your control and what is not. You see mistakes as opportunities for learning. You can find humor in life situations, and sometimes make fun of yourself. Your monologue is witty and creative and helps all readers, including other parents, feel an immediate connection with you and your world. You are generous with your gifts of hospitality, listening to the Holy Spirit, and healing prayers.

It has been rewarding to see how you trust and foster your children's growing physical, intellectual, social-emotional and spiritual

capabilities. Aaron, Alex, and Aria are the direct beneficiaries of your compassion, faith and wisdom. They are blessed to know the love of Jesus through you.

Incredibly thankful, Mom (Terry)

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From Seisha

Hey Lers,

Wow, you are soon to be a mother of 3! And although times will be tough, you have a great support team around you and a solid head on your shoulders. You are easily one of my favorite people and being with you feels natural and not work, this is coming from the introvert in me. You are also someone I highly respect and am challenged and inspired by on a pretty regular basis. I admire your ability to be honest and reflective but most importantly take action. Whether it is reading books, blogging, conversations, etc. you desire growth (as a mom, wife, friend, woman of God).

So for this, I thought about writing you a long letter but I realized that you are already really contemplative and that maybe what would be some great encouragement is your OWN words of your personal journey with God and your own snippets of your life for the past 8 years.

I pulled these off your blog, which I know you can do, but I figured I would write down a few here for quick reference. My hope is that you will see your own growth, joys, wisdom, but mainly remember that God is and always will be with you and that as you are giving everything to your kids, God's desire is to embrace you and let you know that you are his BELOVED DAUGHTER ALWAYS!

Enjoy! Love you so much, Sis! Sorry this is sooo long...I blame you for being so awesome ;)

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Loving...that we are surrounded by family and friends who offer so much love and support. People keep volunteering to babysit, offer help when the baby arrives, and generally remind us that we are not made to do life alone.

Love is enjoying a tear-inducing, belly-aching laugh with my husband before we drift off to sleep.

My main commitment of 2015 is to be a person of love, generosity, joy, kindness, and compassion...I cannot just muster up more joy, but I can build in habits that might foster and deepen joy. Habit changes can make space for character cultivation...Value people and relationships above tasks and efficiency

What are you most grateful for?I'm grateful for Steve and our ever-growing friendship/marriage/partnership. I'm thankful for our kids, and all the ways I've been changed by motherhood. I've loved spending time with my parents and grandparents. I'm also grateful for yoga, Netflix, phone dates with friends, and our church.

What was the biggest thing you learned this year?

God is with us in unique and surprising ways in the messy and hard moments.

2013...In what ways did you grow spiritually?I learned more about living in spiritual authority, and grew in understanding the dynamic between God's power and my own obedience and submission. I grew in listening to God, receiving what he has for me, and letting go of expectations for my own spiritual journey.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.Embrace weakness, and let go of perfectionism.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.There is power in the ability to hope.What kept you sane?Steve. Exercise. Weekly time with friends. Prayer retreats.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.Marriage can help you thrive even during the most trying times.

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Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.Good things can come from unexpected places at unexpected times.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.More often than not, things are beyond my personal control. But I am still responsible and accountable for my choices.

Pumpkin Cream Cheese Snickerdoodles

Crack Pie

Tennessee Honey Whiskey

Top Chef Masters

Larissatini2 shots light rum1/2 shot vermouth1 shot lychee syrupCombine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well, strain into a martini glass, and garnish with a lychee.

Red high heel suede pumps. Classic, grownup, edgy and sexy

Take a few deep breaths and let go of expectations for how things "should go."

"I feel like I have very little energy, but still so much to give."...And yet..."If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink." This is the invitation that reverberates in my soul these days. Embrace your emptiness, and be filled.

I have a love/hate relationship with my Inner Perfectionist. She's disciplined and principled, but boy, she really stands in the way of creativity and joy. I've decided that sometimes (oftentimes), I need to give myself permission to completely ignore Perfectionist Larissa.

I need friends who will give me permission to be weak and limited and imperfect. Those friendships are precious to me.

Queen of the Family and Household

Asking for help is hard, but if I don't ask, I won't get it. Obvious, I know. I hate asking for help...mostly because I hate revealing my limitations and weakness. But the times I am courageous enough to ask for help are so good - I experience the joy of friendship and shatter the false perception that I'm Super Woman.

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I am a better person when I get some regular time of quiet and solitude.

Instead of hustling about to create my own makeshift place of belonging, I am choosing to dwell in this neutral zone of transition. I am embracing an emptying for the sake of making space for reliance and dependence on God.I am abiding in Him, and finding rest and peace and joy.

I am letting go, and with hope, believing that I belong to a God who is good and trustworthy.

Life is full of of these in-between, darkness moments. So what do we do in that moment? When we’re in that moment of darkness and in-between at the tomb,WAIT ON GOD...waiting on God in the darkness can yield extraordinary events. In my own experience of waiting in darkness with the Lord, there are a few things that happened: I learned that God endures with us, God promises his presence, God cultivates new life...Our daughter Alexandra was born on August 7, 2012. She is our reminder of the resurrection power of Jesus. Our reminder that death and darkness isn’t the end. When I look at her, I remember God’s faithfulness as we wait in the darkness, and remember that he’s the bringer of new life.

In Jesus we have freedom and hope and renewal. In him we rise out from evil and death, and in him we have celebration and joy and new life.

Your rhythm for life can (and should) change when it begins to not fit. Life is full of transitions. Allow your rhythm for life to evolve as you grow and change.

Do not worry about having enough, being enough, or doing enough.

Daily Checklist.

Laughter is really, really good.Daily baths are unnecessary.A messy house, undone dishes, and unkempt hair are allowed.

Happy 33rd birthday! A lot of this year has been characterized by embracing imperfection and experiencing God's grace. You consider yourself a recovering perfectionist, which involves accepting how things are rather than how you imagine they should be. Your kids help this process along, constantly reminding you that joy and sacred moments and creativity can be found in engaging with the present moment.

There is so much to be grateful for. Two healthy,

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joy-filled, unique children. A marriage that is a relationship of vulnerability, faith, and partnership. An expanding vision for how our lives might fit into God's greater purposes. Friendships that are life-giving and faith-expanding. A God who is kind, good, and with you in every moment of every day.

Today is my 31st birthday. life lessons learned in my 31 years

1. Figure out the few essential things you value in life, and build everything around that.

2.Nobody has it all figured out. So it's okay if you don't either.

3.Create margin in your life. Maintain a healthy pace, and make room for interruptions.

4.This too shall pass - those awkward adolescent years, the first months of parenting, depression - none of them will last forever.

5.Embrace the present moment.6.Practice gratefulness.7. Know yourself. Learn your weaknesses,

strengths, and temperament. Self-awareness is a great gift to you and everyone around you.

8.Be a good listener. You will learn,

understand, empathize, and communicate respect.

9.Spend time in silence and solitude. It is where you will find peace, inspiration, and clarity that can't be experienced in the noise.

10. A hug can solve a thousand problems.

Joy can be had despite suffering, tiredness, and life's messes.

God is in the mundane parts of life, and if you look intently you might discover surprisingly sacred moments. Do you see him around you?

There's no perfect formula for parenting. When that lesson is learned, there is more freedom, joy, and fun.

Loving...decreased expectations of myself. With so many potential tasks to complete (fix meals, unpack, laundry), there is the high possibility of me becoming very overwhelmed very quickly. As a preventative measure, I am currently operating with the goal of accomplishing one important task per day. Anything beyond that is bonus.

Here are some lessons I have learned from my mother:

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• Extend compassion and forgiveness generously.

• Family is important.• Pursue a vocation that intersects what

you love doing and what will help others.

• You are never finished growing and learning.

• Pray for your children.• Women can have significant influence in

whatever they do

Here are some of the lessons I learned from my father:

• Listen to the other person, and seek to understand their perspective. When in doubt, ask questions.

• Hard work builds character (especially when that work involves pulling weeds in the front yard).

• Generosity towards others is important. If you can meet a person's needs, do it.

In reality, I am certainly not the perfect mother. Not even close. Here's who I really am as a mother:I sometimes frequently need help.I have survival mode days.I need breaks from my kid.I make mistakes.I am learning as I go.

Today I embrace my imperfections as a mother,

and choose to believe that it's enough to love my kid and try my best.

I couldn't help but consider my own physical features, and wonder if I am beautiful not despite but because of them. It is beautiful to be pregnant. It is beautiful to have a growing baby in my body. It is beautiful to be a mother.

This morning, instead of looking in the mirror with anxiety and dread, I saw beauty.

I accept my body and all of its unique qualities, including the post-baby stretch marks and mole on my left cheek (they make me me, after all!). When I look in the mirror, I see a body that allows me to think, play, create, digest, move, work, love and live. And for that, I embrace this body with joy and gratitude.

1) What was life-giving today?2) What was life-draining today?

Be present to my loved ones. Another work in progress. My mantra lately has been, "Slow down and focus." I'm generally a hurried person, and if undisciplined, I can turn into a multitasking mess. But in my heart, I know that relationships with people are more important than just about anything else in my life. And so I am working on

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really seeing and listening to people around me. One thing we are doing as a family is nightly dinner, meant to be focused, unhurried time together.

I am grateful for God. I am grateful that he is near, present, and in our grief with us. I know that because of him, grief and loss aren't the final conclusion. The true end is one of celebration, joy and life. Though this world is full of awful pain and suffering, I believe and hope in God and his promises of redemption and resurrection, where all the brokenness and wrongs are made right. The reality of eternal life used to seem to me a distant and vague concept. But now, as I wrestle with the reality of having two unborn children, I am deeply moved to the point of rejoicing in my soul that eternal life is promised to us by a loving, faithful, and merciful God.

But if I had to choose one word to describe my experience of motherhood, it would be joy.

My offerings to others may be small things, but things that I have the capacity to give with great love. I have a home to open up to others in need of a place that is warm and safe. I have mercy and compassion to pour into people who are hurting. I love to listen to others' stories and experiences, and have them feel heard and

known. I have money and material things that can go towards people who have unmet needs. I am connected with friends and acquaintances who also have lots to offer, and can network those people to areas of need.

As I give myself to doing small things with great love, maybe I will do something significant in our world. Or maybe not.

Either way, I want to be a person who does something rather than nothing.

Thankfully, I have a husband who talks me down from The Bad Place, and the rest of the day was actually pretty great. I suppose today ended up as Larissa and the the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning, and a Decent Rest of the Day. I suppose we all have our melt-downs at one time or another. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

While there are times when I miss that past era, the thrilling, awesome moments of parenthood far outweigh any desire to go back. Aaron is a better gift than I could have imagined, and I feel so grateful that we get to love and cherish him and be his parents.

Motherhood is terrifying and thrilling, and if I

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made it through this first month, I think I can make it through the rest.

Some thoughts on marriage: Being part of a team is invaluable, Unexpected life events can be weathered when faced together, Marriage has the potential to make you a better person...With every passing year, I am convinced that I married an amazing man, and am grateful for our life together. Happy anniversary, Steve. I love you.

I have many moments of falling short. Sometimes my house is a mess (seriously, when was the last time I dusted?). Sometimes I am impatient with my family, and speak to them with harshness. Sometimes I don't return phone calls until three days later. Sometimes I am too tired to cook a healthy meal, and end up ordering Thai takeout instead.

I am starting to let go of the idea that I can become this superhuman woman. I mean, does she even really exist? Who can truly do everything perfectly? I think I need to say goodbye to this idealized, unattainable self, and accept my own humanity. I have flaws and weaknesses and limits, and maybe that's okay.

I was thinking about this recently, and began

wondering why I have such a difficult time slowing down. I always have this need to go 80 miles per hour all the time, and then end up either feeling burned out or bitter at the world. Just yesterday, a friend asked how I was doing. And my first response was to let out an exhausted sigh, and begin listing off the twenty things that were wearing on me that day. But the Bible says that God the shepherd provides for all my needs, including peace and rest. The question is will I accept and receive the things that God offers me? Will I lay aside my preoccupation with my To Do list, and let go of my tendency to find worth in my productivity? Will I be satisfied in being a sheep in need of a shepherd?

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Larissa, you have many labels: Wife. Mother. Daughter. Blogger. Cook. Student. Friend. Sister. Artist. The list goes on but may you always remember that first and foremost you are a Beloved Child of God! I pray that in this new season of transition that you will feel known and loved!

Seisha

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Thank you for who you are to all of us! We stand with you in the new season of new life. Welcome, baby Aria! And hurray, Larissa!