Lake Murray Fish Wrapper 5-21-15

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com Thursday, May 21, 2015 | 1

FREE

Thurs

day, M

ay 21

, 201

5

Serio

usly.

Take

one.

What you’re missing in the

Lexington County Chronicle & The Dispatch-News:

Subscribe for our print and online editions! Only

$45 a year! Call 359-7633

"Official Newspaper of the Lexington County Blowwsh Baseball Team"

INSIDE THIS WEEK

Photo by goflashwin.com

Steal this paper — please!You supply the fish, we supply the wrapper.

Fans cheering during the Class 4A Lower State boys soccer final between River Bluff and Wando on May 12. The Warriors defeated the Gators 4-3 to advance to the state final played at River Bluff High School.

Rep. Bingham SueS FiTSnewS, will FOlkS

nephROn gROwing, hiReS 50 new em-plOyeeS

lOcal Biz giveS 31 BikeS TO kidS OF SeRvice memBeRS

cOunTy cOuld lOSe 340 jOBS aT FORT jackSOn

pROpeRTy TaxeS, nu-meROuS FeeS likely TO RiSe in chapin

B-l cOuncilman STeve cain evading waRRanT

9am – 9pm Monday – Saturday | 12 – 6pm Sundaywww.goodwillsc.org

Our employment specialists will help you conduct your job search.Hours: 9am-12pm, 1pm-5pm Monday - Thursday

A free service of Goodwill

GW_Lexington_Now_Open_LCC.pdf 1 5/15/15 9:37 AM

2 | Thursday, May 21, 2015 The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

ANSWER

Fish Wrapper Fun Corner

You are invited to a

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself”

~ Joseph Campbell

Monday, May 25, 201510:00am

Caughman-Harman Funeral Home503 North Lake DriveLexington, SC 29072

803-359-6118

Come help us remember those who gave their lives to �ght for our freedom.

Light refreshments will be served following the Service

Memorial Day Service

Does your bathroom need?Wheelchair accessibility

Tile or Acrylic tub-to-shower conversionsBarrier free showersWalk-in tubsCustom cabinetsComplete remodels

203-C Dooley Rd. Lexington, SC 29073

803-358-9120 866-604-0226 [email protected]

Homestyle...Yourstyle!No subcontractors - Local business - Over 50 years experience

Financing Available


[email protected]

Worship - 10:30amSunday School - 9:30am

Communion Every Sunday

,

Wednesday Bible Study 7:00 p.m.

-

LEXINGTONUnited MethodistChurch

309 East Main Street • Lexington

359-6838 • www.lexumcsc.com

Traditional Service8:30am, 11:00am & Tuesdays at 6:30 pmContemporary Service11:00am on SundayPastor - Ken Owens

Sunday: 9am Blended Service 10:30am Contemporary ServiceWed: 5pm Dinner 6:30pm Service

www.fblex.org

Call to Worship

These houses of worship invite you to attend this week.

HOLY TRINITY EVANGELICAL LUTHERAN CHURCH

2920 Pella Ave. – West Columbia, SC 29170

We still believe and teach: Jesus Christ is the only Savior of mankind;•

• •

baptizing and teaching “all things whatsoever” His Word teaches. (Mt. 28)

SS. & Bible Class: 10a.m. • Sunday worship: 11a.m.

Pastor Vance Fossum • 803-796-0005 • www.LexingtonLutheran.org

Come grow with us in the knowledge of your Savior and His peace.

www.lexingtonbaptist.org

Sundays9:00 & 10:30 am - Blended Services

Senior Pastor Mike Turner

308 East Main Street, Lexington

Wednesday EveningActivities for all ages

Great ad-vertising

rates!

Call us!359-7633

Let newcomers know about your church and fellowship. Advertise for just a few dollars a week right here.

Call 359-7633.

FISHING REPORTLake Murray:Striped bass: Very good. Lake World reports that some

really nice striped bass in the 20-30 pound class have been weighed in at the store recently, with fish concentrat-ed from the Gap to the dam. The hottest action is coming on free-lines, although the cut bait bite is getting to be a close second. Most of the action is coming off points, and on the main lake herring can still be found spawning off points. Schooling activity has been hit-or-miss, but down-line fishing is just getting started. Captain Brad Taylor re-ports that his boat has been concentrating on the lower end of the lake, and particularly the big basin in front of the dam, over the last week or so. He has been catching some very good fish, and some very good numbers, but the fish are on the move and the depth and area where they are holding varies from day to day. His boat has been doing the most good free-lining, and to find the fish he is having to try a bunch of spots and just “go fishing”.

Shellcracker: Good. Lake World reports that the shell-cracker bite is getting better and better, and fishing worms in 4-8 feet of water has been the best pattern. As always when shellcracker fishing, anglers should move on if they don’t have any bites after about 10 minutes. Bluegill can be found around docks.

Tech Talk _|

Ashley steele

359-7633

Last week we discussed the Blue Screen of Death and how to survive it.

If you missed it, please go to http://lexington-chronicle.com/index643.htm

What happens when your computer is definitely a goner? How do you re-cover your data?

Has your computer done a blue screen, refused to start or made a terrible

beeping sound when you try to start it? These are all signs of different problems.

Generally it takes a pro to figure it out from this point. If anything is wrong, except the hard drive, that hard drive can generally be salvaged and all your data saved.

But if (and I have seen this happen) a lightning bolt hits your computer and strikes your hard drive, there is no way you can re-

cover that data. The FBI (or the IRS) might be able to, but it’s doubtful.

I recommend you install backups.

You have two options. You can buy:

1. An external hard drive and setup an auto backup.

2. A service that does it for you on the internet.

Just make sure you back everything up.

Many companies will create a backup for you.

If you have a Gmail ac-count, Google will do a backup of everything in your Google Drive folder.

Just download the app at drive.google.com.

It puts a folder on your computer where you can save everything to and you have 5 gigabytes free to save documents and buy more if needed.

Carbonite is a great ser-vice. You buy it for a year, setup the folders and then

set the scheduler the back-ups.

These just require your computer to be on and have an internet connec-tion at the time of the back-up.

Any store that sells com-puter parts (Walmart, Of-fice Depot, Staples, etc) sell external hard drives. These just hook up to your com-puter for you to setup a backup.

Some come with backup

software and others you will have to buy.

The point is, no matter the cost to you in backups, you will be happy you have those documents when that computer fails and you lose everything.

Have a question, email me at [email protected].

Walking For Knee Osteoarthritis If you have knee osteoarthritis, walking 6,000 steps a day may help stave off a decline in daily function and mobility. Researchers monitored 1,800 people who were at risk for or already had osteoarthritis of the knee. Those who took at least 6,000 steps a day were less likely to develop problems with walking, getting up from a chair, household chores or stairs compared to more sedentary participants two years later. The authors of the study recom-mend starting out with a goal of 3,000 steps a day and working up to 6,000 or more a day. It’s best to discuss any new exercise regimen with your doctor before beginning it.

Robert S. PerryPharmacist

359-25871207 W. Main St.

LexingtonMon-Fri 8:30-6

Sat 8:30-2Serving the community for good health

SINCE 1924

prescriptions • medical equipment • compounding

Catering is available...Call Today!

Dinner Fri+Sat 4pm-8pm

Breakfast Bu�et:Saturday7 a.m. - 10 a.m.

408 Ervin Price Rd. Gilbert, S.C.

803-892-2502 803-351-2851

Lunch Hours:Thurs & Sunday 11am-2pmFriday & Saturday 11am-3pm

Backing up is easy to do


FOR SALE101

AuctionsAbAndoned

VehicleThe below listed vehi-

cles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below. Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preserva-tion, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time pro-vided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law. Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact:

M&W Towing, LLC 846 Chris Drive West Co-lumbia, SC (803) 794-7004

1 9 9 5 C h e v y A s -tro Van- VIN: 1GNDM-19W2SB107858

5-21

Public no-tice

Notice is hereby giv-en that on 5-26-2015, at 10am, a public sale will

be held for the purpose of satisfying a landlord lien against the following:

Unit L-32 Dennis - Christmas Decor, Old Dry-er and Misc. - Min bid $300

Unit C-9 Hayes and Bass - Furn, Bedding, Fish tackle, Misc Household items. Min bid $800

Unit E-11 Mosier - Misc Household items. Min bid $800

Unit D-20 Bethen - Clothes, shoes, DVD G.F. Clock, etc. Min bid $600

Unit D-5 Riley - Cloth-ing, Furniture & Household Items. Min bid $800

At : Johnson Min i Storage 3334 Augusta Hwy. Gilbert SC 29054 803-356-9770

5-21

noticeNotice is hereby given

that on June 5, 2015, at 10:00am, a public sale will be held for the purpose of satisfying a landlord lien against the following:

A-45 Ford - Misc. boxes, bags

G-52 Rimer - Bed, Matt., Misc.

At: Airport Self Stor-age 4025 Edmund Rd. West Columbia, SC 29170

(803)755-1313Sealed bids will be

taken and rooms sold to highest bid over minimum. Winning bidders will be announced immediately following sale. Payments in cash only. Rooms to be emptied within 24 hours. Rooms subject to be de-leted from sale. Owner reserves right to reject any or all bids.

5-28

107

misc for

sAle2 0 1 4 2 4 F o o t KAuFmAn Car Trailer with hidden ramps, spaire tire, tool box and whee lchocks . 8 0 3 - 5 2 0 - 4 5 8 0 o r 8 0 3 - 2 0 1 - 9 7 1 3 New 26” female bike, 7 speed made by Special-ized, Inc 803-520-4580 or 803-201-9713

6-4

EmpLOy-mEnt

402

help wAnted drivers

d r i V e r s ( c d l - A trucK) home Daily! Paid Weekly, Health/Den/Vision Ins., 401K. Stable Ops 49 Years Strong. Bill or Albert: 1-855-995-7188

5-21

405

help wAnted sAles

s A l e s j o b o F y o u r d r e A m s F r u s t r a t e d w i t h c o l d c a l l i n g ? Tired of prospects tell-ing you that adver-tising doesn’t work? We can teach you the inside secrets of selling by referral and direct response advertising that generates sales. If you love sales and have a minimum two years sales experience, please contact Linda Sauls at [email protected]

UFN

A m b i t i o u s b u t

FrustrAted? need money for rent, mort-gage, school, clothes, kids, car, spendthrift spouse or retirement one day? Email Jerry [email protected]

UFN

REAL EStAtE702

Apt rentAlschurchWood APts: come home to afford-able luxury. Located at 144 Old Chapin Rd. in Lexington, Church-wood’s energy efficient apt. homes include car-pet, refrigerator, stove, W/D connection and porches. An excellent location, minutes from Lexington High School and Columbia. Rental assistance available. Units designed for per-sons with disabilities subject to availability. $25 application fee. Call (803) 957-4908 for more info. Equal House-ing Opportunity. Man-aged by Partnership Property Management, an equal opportunity provider and employer. Apply today!

5-21

709

lots & AcreAge

WAterFront lot on lAKe Murray/ 8/10acre w/150+ feet on lake approved for private dock. $120,000. Call 803-732-2411.

2015

StAtEwidE

cLASSi-FiEdS

AnnouncementsGot Knee PAin? bAcK Pain? Shoulder Pain? Get a pain-reliev-ing brace -little or NO cost to you. Medicare Patients Call Health Hotline Now! 1- 800-815-6016

5-21

AuctionsAuction - nice bricK House. 1806 Clarkston Dr., Hartsville, SC. Sat-urday, May 30, 11 AM. Damon Shortt Auction Group 877-669-4005. SCAL2346. www.da-monshorttproperties.com

5-21

AdVertise your Auction in 107 S.C. newspapers for only $375. Your 25-word classified ad will reach more than 2.6 million readers. Call Alanna Ritchie at the S.C. News-paper Network, 1-888-727-7377.

5-21

FinAnciAl serVicessell your struc-tured settlement or annuity payments for CASH NOW. You don’t have to wait for your future payments any longer! Call 1-800-446-9734

5-21

helP WAntedWAnt A cAreer oPerAtinG Heavy Equipment? Bulldozers, Backhoes, Excavators. Hands On Training! Cer-tifications Offered. Na-tional Average 18-22hr. Lifetime Job Placement . VA Benefits Eligible!

1-866-362-6497 5-21

sPeciAl oPs u.s. nAVy. Elite training. Daring missions. Gen-erous pay/benefits. HS grads ages 17-30. Do you have what it takes? Call Mon-Fri 800-662-7419

5-21

helP WAnted - driV-ers home time WeeKly! comPAny & Owner Operators. Regional Lanes. Verifiable Expe-rience. CDL-A. Apply: www.driveforbrown.com. Contact Bryan: 864 430-5235.

5-21

Are you reAdy to kick-start your new ca-reer? Now Interviewing Accredited Truck Driv-ing School Graduates (With CDL-A) for our Entry Level Appren-tice Program. Must have Good MVR, Work history and Criminal Background history. Call Chris Blackwell at 843-266-3731 to discuss pay and benefits. www.bulldoghiway.com EOE

5-21

exPerienced otr FlAtbed driVers earn 50 up to 55 cpm loaded. $1000 sign on to Qualified drivers. Good home time. Call: 843-266-3731 / www.bulldoghiway.com EOE

5-21

join our teAm! GuArAnteed pay for Class A CDL Flatbed Drivers. Regional and OTR. Great pay /ben-efits /401k match. CALL TODAY 864.299.9645 www.jgr-inc.com

5-21

AVeritt exPress stArt PAy: 40 to 43.5 CPM + Fuel Bonus! Get Home EVERY Week + Excellent Benefits. CDL-A req. Recent T/T School Grads Welcome. Call 888-602-7440 OR Apply @ AverittCareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer - Females, minorities, protected veterans, and individu-als with disabilities are encouraged to apply.

5-21

AdVertise your driVer jobs in 107 S.C. newspapers for only $375. Your 25-word classified ad will reach more than 2.6 million readers. Call Al-anna Ritchie at the S.C. Newspaper Network, 1-888-727-7377.

5-21

WAnt more money or A CAREER? LAID OFF? Xtra Mile can get you rolling in a new job today. Enroll in CDL Class-A Training. 803-484-6313/www.trucktrucktruck.com

5-21

helP WAnted - sAleseArn $500 A dAy: In-surance Agents Needed • Leads, No Cold Calls • Commissions Paid Daily • Lifetime Renewals • Complete Training • Health & Dental Insur-ance • Life License Required. Call 1-888-713-6020

5-21

miscellAneousAirline cAreers beGin here - Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation

Technician. Financial aid for qualified stu-dents. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 866-367-2513

5-21

m i s c e l l A n e o u s For sAledirectV stArt-inG At $19.99/mo. FREE Ins ta l l a t ion . FREE 3 months of HBO SHOWTIME CINEMAX, STARZ. FREE HD/DVR Upgrade! 2015 NFL Sunday Ticket Included (Select Packages) New Customers Only. CALL 1-800-291-6954

5-21

dish netWorK – Get MORE for LESS! Starting $19.99/month (for 12 months.) PLUS Bundle & SAVE (Fast Internet for $15 more/month.) CALL Now 1-800-635-0278

5-21

reAl estAtenc mtns, neW loG home on 2.7 wood-ed acres. $158,900. Screened porch, fire-place, vaulted ceiling, tile, hardwood floors, mountain views. 828-289-2981

5-21

schoolsmedicAl billinG trAinees needed! Become a Medical Of-fice Assistant! NO EX-PERIENCE NEEDED! Online Training gets you job ready! HS diploma/GED & PC/internet needed! 1-888-512-7118.

5-21

VAcAtion rentAlsAdVertise your VA-cAtion ProPerty

FOR RENT OR SALE to more than 2.6 million S.C. newspaper read-ers. Your 25-word clas-sified ad will appear in 107 S.C. newspapers for only $375. Call Alanna Ritchie at the South Carolina Newspaper Network, 1-888-727-7377.

5-21

pubLic nOticES900

legAlsPublic no-

ticeThe Joint Municipal

Water and Sewer Com-mission met water qual-ity standards for its 2014 Drinking Water Quality. The report is available by request, website (www.lcjmwsc.com), or may be viewed at our office. Should you have any questions concerning the report please call (803) 359-8373.

5-21

STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA

COUNTY OF LEXING-TON

IN THE FAMILY COURT OF THE

ELEVENTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT

14-dr-32-1226x

summons And notice by PublicA-

tionSouth Carolina Depart-ment of Social Services,Plaintiff, vs.Sybil Pugh

Deborah MessickJimmie Lee GuessThomas KeithStafford Pugh, Sr.Sharoniqua PughDefendants,In the interests of: Infynniti Pugh (9/2/1997) Tyawna Pugh (12/28/1999)Stafford Pugh,Jr (12/22/1998) Minors Under the Age of 18. TO: Defendant Thomas Keith

YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED and noticed of the complaint for re-moval action in and to the minor children in this action, the original of which has been filed in the Office of the Clerk of Court for Lexington County, a copy of which will be delivered to you upon request.

YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED that a hearing in the above referenced matter has been sched-uled for May 27, 2015, at 2:00 p.m. in the Lexington County Family Court locat-ed at 205 East Main Street, Lexington SC 29072.

YOU ARE FURTHER NOTIFIED that: (1) the Guardian ad Litem (GAL) who is appointed by the Court in this action to rep-resent the best interests of the children will provide the Family Court with a written report that includes an evaluation and assess-ment of the issues brought before the Court along with recommendations; (2) the GAL’s written report will be available for review twenty-four (24) hours in advance of the hearing; (3) you may review the report at the GAL Program county office.

S. C. DEPARTMENT

FOR SALE101 Auctions102 Garage/Yard Sales103 Furniture104 Appliances/TV105 Computers106 Spa/Pool107 Misc. for Sale108 Wanted to Buy

ANNOUNCEMENTS201 Card of Thanks202 In Memoriam203 Misc. Announcements204 Cemeteries205 Lost & Found206 Travel/Cruise207 Business Notices208 Instruction/Training

SERVICES301 Misc. Services302 Building/Contracting303 Heating/AC

304 Income Tax Service305 Insurance306 Landscaping308 Pest Control309 Plumbing310 Painting311 Healthcare312 Clerical

EMPLOYMENT401 Help Wanted - Misc. 402 Help Wanted - Drivers403 Help Wanted - Labor404 Help Wanted - Skilled405 Help Wanted - Sales406 Help Wanted - Office407 Help Wanted - Management408 Help Wanted - Medical409 Help Wanted - Professional450 Employment Wanted

CHILD/ELDER CARE501 Child Care502 Elder Care

FARM/PETS551 Dogs/Cats/Pets552 Livestock553 Farm Products

FINANCIAL601 Business Opportunities602 Business Loans603 Personal Loans604 Investments/Stocks

REAL ESTATE701 Home Rentals702 Apt Rentals703 Vacation Rentals704 Manufactured Homes705 Commercial706 Homes for Sale707 Apt. for Sale708 Mobile Home Lots709 Lots & Acreage710 Commercial for Sale711 Wanted to Buy712 Misc. Rentals

BOATS/CAMPERS801 Boats802 Campers/RVs

TRANSPORTATION851 Automobiles852 Trucks853 Motorcycles854 Commercial

855 STATEwIDE CLASSIFIEDSPUBLIC NOTICES900 Legals901 Master In Equity ForeclosuresRates:$20 a week for 1 week$18 a week for 2 weeks$16 a week for 3 weeks$14 a week for 4 weeks

www.lexingtonchronicle.com Thursday, May 21, 2015

8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. (803) 359-7633 Monday - FridaySpecial Rates for Special People!

20 words or less for $2025¢ for each additional wordAds appear in the Lexington County Chronicle, Lake Murray Fish Wrapper and on www.Lexing-tonChronicle.com.

Deadlines: Legals: 5 p.m. Friday for following Thursday publication.Line classifieds: Noon Monday for Thursday publication. Holidays are an exception. Call for details.by mail: Enclose payment with ad copy and mail to Lexington County Chronicle, PO Box 9, Lexington SC 29071

By Phone: Call 803-359-7633 to charge to your VISA or MC ac-count.

All classified advertising is prepaid.

LEXINGTON COUNTY ChroniCle aNd The Dispatch-News—sINCE 1870

ClassifiedClassifieds on the internet at www.lexingtonchronicle.com

10,000 readers 16,000 readers

Business DirectoryLexington County Chronicle AND The Dispatch-News—SINCE 1870

To place your ad, call Linda or Holly at 803-359-7633.

LindaHolly

FOR FIRST-CLASS PROFESSIONAL SERVICES AND PRODUCTS

Call us. 803-359-7633.

Why is she smiling? Because her business is growing twice

as fast as her competitor’s. She markets through the Chronicle.

5-28

5-28

Do you need a new roof?

-Free Roof Inspections/Assessments-We help with storm damage claims

Locally owned, Licensed, Bonded

Ken Hornsby803-528-4117

FREE estimates

6-4


Serving Breakfast Starting at 5am

OPENING MONDAY

105 North Church Street Swansea, SC

Serving Breakfast Starting at 5am

©2015 Hardee’s Restaurants LLC. All rights reserved.

From our 100% Black Angus Beef Thickburgers® to our famous Made From Scratch Biscuits,TM Fresh Fried Chicken, and our freshly-prepared

Hand-Breaded Chicken Tenders,TM Hardee’s® has something for everyone!

HFS COOP 19024(5.1875x10.5) ROP-Together.indd 1 5/13/15 5:22 PM

Your business is Your passion. providing You with the tools to succeed is ours.

visit windstreaM.coM/Focusor call us at 1-877-425-9462 For additional details.

All small businesses have one thing in common: passion. An unwavering dedication to doing what you love to do, and working for the people you care about. At Windstream, we understand that—because we feel the same way.

That’s why we’re offering you our high-speed, low-cost Business Class Internet for $39.99/month. It comes with all the features you need but don’t want to think about constantly, so you can focus on the more important parts of running a company. Like fostering real relationships with your customers, without the hiccups of unreliable online connectivity.

Limited-time, non-transferable offer to new and existing business customers. Requires a 3-year agreement and an early termination fee will apply if the customer terminates the agreement prior to the end of the 3 years. The early termination fee will be equal to 100% of monthly charges multiplied by the number of remaining months on the agreement. Free professional installation at one location only. offer: includes up to 3Mbps Business Class Internet based on speed qualification, with a dynamic IP address. Price requires Windstream business phone line. Windstream cannot guarantee Internet speeds or uninterrupted, error-free service. Actual performance may vary based on numerous factors such as customer address, network or Internet congestion, server speed of websites accessed, and quality of customer equipment Subject to availability, credit approval and customer agreement with Windstream and/or Windstream Terms and Conditions available at windstreambusiness.com/terms. Taxes, fees and other charges, including Universal Service Fund, apply. Other conditions may apply. Windstream and the Windstream logo are registered service marks of Windstream Corporation. Usage subject to Windstream’s Acceptable Use Policy. ©2015 Windstream Corporation.

015669LexCounty105x10.indd 1 5/13/15 2:02 PM


By Scoop Bellune

It’s a Dog’s Life

Prospective Employee Assessment

MEMOSubject: Prospective Em-

ployee AssessmentTo: All ManagersThe following guidelines

shall be used when hiring new personnel.

Take the prospective em-ployees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, with-out any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are do-ing.

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, as-

sign them to Finance. If they are scream-

ing and waving their arms, send them off to Manufac-turing.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are sleeping, they are Management ma-terial.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to Technical Publications.

If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Se-curity.

If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

And if they have left early, put them in Sales.

Smooth

The little girl asked her

mother if she could go outside and play with the boys.

“No,” her mother replied, “the boys are much too rough for you to play with.”

“Well,” the little girl asked, “if I find a smooth one can I play with him?”

Dog and Cat Journal Entries

Entries in a dog’s journal:

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE THING!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE THING!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE THING!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE THING!

11:30 am - OH BOY!

DOG FOOD! MY FAVOR-ITE THING!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE THING!

1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE THING!

1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE THING!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE THING!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE THING!

Entries in a cat’s journal:

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling ob-jects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of es-cape, and the mild satisfac-tion I get from ruining the occasional piece of furni-

ture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

DAY 761 - Today my at-tempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile op-pressors, I once again in-duced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in at-tempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in-to their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not work-ing according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could in-vent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary through-out the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “aller-gies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am con-vinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is rou-tinely released and seems more than happy to re-turn. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an in-formant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current place-ment in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can

wait; it is only a matter of time..

Porsche Hybrid SUV

Porsche is working on a hybrid SUV. A hybrid SUV with the Porsche name.

Perfect for a man in his midlife crisis who is mar-ried to a soccer mom. A Porsche hybrid SUV sounds as marketable as a Humvee moped.

Hospital Discount

An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospi-tal, but didn’t quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn.

Later, the father received a bill, listing “Delivery Room Fee: $500.”

He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn. A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: “Greens Fee: $200.”

Weighty Issue

If you answer “yes” to eight or more of the fol-lowing questions, you may want to consider restricting your daily calorie intake:

Has your neighbor-hood grocery store ever of-fered to send you a limo?

After ordering lunch at a fast-food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?

Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs?

Do people often decide to follow you up on the next elevator?

Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing?

Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a mile from the nearest fast-food restau-rant?

Is there a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?

On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain or-der you to stay in the cen-ter of the ship?

Do your picnics in the country involve renting a trailer?

Does the left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot?

Does your street al-ways seem to have more potholes than other streets?

Playing House

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approached the boy and said, “Hey Bil-ly, want to play house?”

He said, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”

Sally replied, “I want you to communicate your feel-ings.”

“Communicate my feel-ings?” said a bewildered Billy. “I have no idea what that means.”

The little girl nodded and said, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”

17.954.90

Closed Monday

Starting June 1 Open Tuesdays

9 a.m.

What’s in a name? If you find yourself trying to decide between a brand medication or generic, we can help. The medication in bothis the same. What’s different are the fillers, tablet coatingsand price. When it comes to understanding medications,we’re always glad to help.

803.951.8739121 Park Rd. • Lexington, S.C. 29072

[email protected] Carolina Farm Bureau Insurance Company® • South Carolina Farm Bureau Mutual Insurance Company

Southern Farm Bureau Casualty Insurance Company • Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company, Jackson, MSPalmetto Specialty Insurance Agency, Inc.

Kelly is here to help you get real savings and real service

for all your Auto, Home and Life needs. Call Kelly today, even if it’s just to say, hello.

Join us in welcoming

Kelly Woodsas a new agent

FBINewAgentLC_KW.indd 1 5/12/2015 9:03:57 AM

Online atwww.AllSouth.org

(803) 736-3110

701 North Lake Drive orHwy 6 at Platt Springs Rd. Walmart

to FREEChecking

Say!

• No minimum balance• No maintenance fees• Free online, mobile,

and text* banking• Free billpay• Free online banking

Say YES to AllSouthfree checking today!

*Standard date/message rates apply. Membership required to open a checking account. Federally Insured by the NCUA.


By acting now you can protect your family when they’ll need it most.

Prearranging your funeral and cemetery needs releases your family from unnecessary stress and provides them peace of mind. As a Dignity Memorial® provider, we provide

• National Transferability• 24-Hour Compassion Helpline®• Bereavement Travel Program• 100% Service Guarantee• Child/Grandchild Protection*

* Additional terms & conditions apply

Caughman-Harman Funeral Home503 N. Lake Drive • Lexington, SC

803-359-6118

EDITOR’S NOTE: DVDs available in stores the week of June 1, 2015.

PICKS OF THE WEEK“Jupiter Ascending” (PG-

13) -- Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) had a ho-hum life scrubbing tiles in Chicago, until the moment she found out she was actually the Space Empress! Jupiter gets set up with Space Warrior Caine (Channing Tatum, in pointy ears) as she is launched into a full-blown space opera of wacky aliens and visually overstimulating planetary

vistas. As the Space Em-press reborn, Jupiter has to look out for the scheming heirs to the throne -- espe-cially the one played by a pouty Eddie Redmayne, clearly recalibrating his act-ing muscles after his Acade-my Award-winning role in “Theory of Everything.”

This latest offering from Andy and Lana Wachowski (the sibling duo who gave us “The Matrix”) has a mind-blowing array of spe-cial effects in every frame. So many that they cease to be special. It seems like they wanted to throw in ev-ery cool flourish and nifty bit of sci-fi lore they could think of, but forgot to in-clude a plot or dialog that audiences could care about.

“McFarland, USA” (PG) -- A hotheaded football coach loses his job and winds up teaching at a high school in McFarland, Cali-fornia, one of the poorest places in the country. Many of the students are from immigrant families and must work in the fields in addition to school, family responsibilities and the general pressures of being a teenager in a rough place. Coach Jim White (Kevin

Costner) sees how the boys run from one place to the next, and decides the school should have a cross-country team -- a sport he’s never coached.

The movie unfolds rath-er the way you’d expect an uplifting Disney sports flick would, in perhaps the best way possible. Director Niko Caro does a commendable job of managing the White Savior Syndrome present in many of these kinds of movies. It’s a by-the-book underdog story, but still manages to strike a chord.

“The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water” (PG) -- The indefatigable sea-sponge returns for his sec-ond feature-length film, with even more fast-paced, off-kilter misadventures. An oddly familiar pirate named Burger-Beard (Antonio Banderas) steals the Krabby Patty formula -- the coveted recipe to the best burgers in Bikini Bottom. The harm-less and enthusiastic Spongebob must team up with his pals and Plankton -- the closest thing he has to an enemy -- to track down the formula and save the day. Live action and an-imation collide. The ulti-

mate absurdity will delight fans and confound those who still haven’t got on-board.

“Camp X-Ray” (R) -- As a new guard assigned to Guantanamo Bay, PFC Amy Cole (Kristen Stewart) ex-pected something different. She didn’t expect it to be such a difficult job. She also didn’t expect to form a se-cret friendship with one of the detainees who’d been locked up for more than eight years. She has to refer to them as detainees, be-cause prisoners are subject to the Geneva Convention. Through small moments and steady pacing, both Cole and Ali go through transformations. Stewart is right for the role; starting as a stone-cold mask of mil-itary detachment, slowly warming up with cracks of vulnerability.

TV RELEASES“Justified: The Final Sea-

son”“Rizzoli & Isles: Season

5”“Rectify: Season 2”“Falling Skies: Season 4”“Parks & Recreation: The

Complete Series”“SOAP -- The Complete

Series”

COUCH THEATER -- DVD PREVIEWSBy Sam Struckhoff

Kristen Stewart in “Camp X-Ray”


Fish Wrapper storm team Forecast _|moNday suNNy

hi 91|Lo 68Prec chance: 10%

suNdaymostLy suNNy

hi 88 |Lo 65Prec chance: 10%

saturdaymostLy suNNy


FridaysuNNy


803.359.0793www.RogersProp.com

If you have numbness or tingling in your feet, read this. Ask yourself, “Have I ever been diagnosed with a condition called neuropathy? Do I suffer from Diabetes? Do I take a statin drug? Do I really WANT relief with my neuropathy symptoms?” If so…

What Are Your Symptoms? If you‟ve ever had symptoms like: - leg cramps, - swelling, - sharp pains from you back, - shooting, electric-like pains, - pain when walking, - muscle weakness, - poor balance, or - open sores or ulcers on your feet, you have to take this seriously.

Already Proven To Work! I am a practicing doctor in Lexington, SC and I‟ve developed an exclusive neuropathy system that is completely SAFE, has been proven to work, and is non-invasive. It‟s based on „scientific principles‟ that cause internal changes so your body heals. You‟ll finally start to get some relief and it‟s strictly administered along common-sense protocols by my staff and myself.

What Are You Losing? When you have neuropathy, you lose your strength, your vitality, and you will suffer needlessly. And on top of all of that, you AGE prematurely because you‟re either always sitting, or you hobble around like a disabled person. That will change after you start receiving this amazing technology. You may be suffering now, but within a few

weeks, you‟ll be walking normal again, and most likely, you won‟t have the severe symptoms I mentioned earlier.

Can You Qualify? I don‟t know if you qualify, without examining you. Most people that come to the office admit they have a fear of failure, but surprisingly, instead of having their hopes smashed again, they get RELIEF. And all neuropathy patients go through a thorough screening to find out if they qualify. That way I know whether or not I can help you. If I do an evaluation and it does not appear that you will be a good candidate, you will NOT be accepted.

What Should You Do Next? Helping people know the best treatment available for them is the best service I can provide. So CALL my office NOW! Don‟t worry. You won‟t have to make any radical changes in your lifestyle, have surgery, or take any harmful drugs. None of that. Your treatments will be private and you‟ll consult with me personally for follow up and questions. Once you regain your health, you‟ll have more energy, look good, and walk and feel normal again. You‟re going to be excited by the results!!

Get Relief!

Want Fast Relief From Your Neuropathy

Symptoms?

Reserve your spot today. Call the office to have access to this amazing new neuropathy technology today. (3 spots)

"I've tried everything and nothing worked! This was easy. I feel GREAT!" Linda V.

CALL (803) 808-1897 TODAY!

Dr.David Gooldy, D.C. 1926 South Lake Dr.

Lexington, SC 29073

Thoughtful Services

at a Thoughtful

Price

Direct Cremation $995

Traditional burial with casket and vault $5295

Tropical Paradise“Best known for hot wings and sauces”

803-358-0229

114 Glassmaster RoadLexington, SC 29072

OPEN MONDAY-FRIDAY 11AM-7PM

eventsHISTORIC CEMETERY TOURS: historic columbia is offering two elmwood cemetery tours. Secrets From The Grave will be offered the 2nd Thursday of each month at 7:30 p.m. Moonlight cemetery Tours are offered the 2nd Thursday of each month through September at 8 and 8:30 p.m. Bring a flash-light. Tickets for adults $12, youth $6; member tickets $8 and $4. Purchase tickets at his-toriccolumbia.org or email [email protected] or cal 803-252-1770, ext. 23. Tours last about an hour.

SHERIff’S fOUnda-TIOn JaIlbREak: 5K run & Walk May 23 to benefit Lex-ington county Sheriff ’s Founda-tion. Packet pick up and late registration begin at 6:15 at Sheriff ’s Department, 521 Gib-son rd., Lexington. 5K run and walk begins at 8 a.m. course is USaFT cetification #Sc 97911BS. entry fee $25 prior to race day, $30 race day. reg-ister at www.strictlyrunning.com.

5k Walk/RUn: May 30, 8 a.m.-noon, to benefit cindy roof Wilkerson Foundation and “cindy’s Place” outdoor fitness park at Springdale elementary in Springdale. Family fun for all ages. $20 runners/Walkers, $10 children 12 and under and Seniors. Go at your own pace. route available at plotaroute.com/route/64476 and to regis-ter crwilkersonfoundation.org.

blOOd dRIVE: June 5, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Grow Financial Federal credit Union, 805 hwy. 378 W., Lexington (in the Pub-lix shopping center). Donors will receive a Lexington coun-ty Blowfish t-shirt and have a chance to win Blowfish tickets. Sign up to donate in advance if you like by emailing [email protected],

call 803-705-3121 ext. 6200, or visit www.redcross.

org.dISPEl-lInG THE MYTHS Of dIa-

bETES: June 8.

6-7pm. Irmo Branch Library 6651

St. andrews road columbia, Sc 29212.

THE SOUTH CaROlIna CHaPTER Of THE VET-ERanS Of THE baTTlE Of THE bUlGE: will hold its quarterly meeting at 12:30 p.m. Saturday, June 6 at the ncO club, 5700 Lee road, Fort Jackson Sc. Lunch is $10.00, cash only please. The meeting is open to veterans, friends and family and others who are interested. The program will present a documentary video that was produced for the 70th anniversary of the end of WWII by Barbara Mooneyhan and ev-erett Davis. This was just pre-miered in Pilsen, czech repub-lic as a part of the official pro-gram in the only city in europe that has a monument thanking the allies for their freedom.

YOUTH SaIl CaMPS: For ages 7 to 18, sponsored by co-lumbia Sailing club, June 8-12 and June 15-19. Boats are pro-vided. Includes sailing instruc-tion for beginners and intermedi-ates. Visit www.columbiasail-ingclub.org to download applica-tion or call Maria Dehart, 803-730-9310. camps fill quickly so hurry. club is at 292 Shuler rd., columbia.

FOOD & FUnfREE dInnER & a MOV-IE: May 29, 6 p.m., Grace United Methodist church, 410 harbison Blvd, columbia, fa-mous hot Dog Supper with chili, Kielbasa, Ice cream and Door Prizes. The movie, “The Good Lie,” for adults and a movie for children at 7 p.m. with popcorn. adult movie is about “The Lost Boys” or-phaned by the Sudanese civil war and the humanitarian effort that brought 3,600 lost boys and girls to american, starring reese Witherspoon.

SIlVER In THE GaR-dEn: June 14, 15 at the Sc

State Museum in columbia, The charleston Silver Lady, Dawn corley, will host two gar-den-themed silver classes. She will use pieces from her own collection to discuss the history of silver, silver production and how to identify silver and its val-ue. Guests may bring one silver piece for corley to examine. In-cludes flower arranging tech-niques and a discussion of por-celain. refreshments and spe-cial punch will be served. For tickets and info, visit www,scmuseum.org.

THE 34TH annUal SOUTH CaROlIna PEanUT PaRTY is accept-ing applications from new food vendors, homemade crafters, and exciting entertainment groups for consideration this year. Our event is august 7 & 8, 2015. anyone interested in ap-plying for this year’s festival should contact Susan enlow at 803.606.9522 or [email protected].

LessOns/seminarsbUIld a RaIn baRREl: collect rain water to use in your garden or elsewhere and reduce stormwater runoff. Workshop sponsored by Lexington county-wide Stormwater consortium is May 22, 9 a.m. to noon, at Pub-lic Works Building, 440 Ball Park road, Lexington. reducing stormwater runoff helps you save water, save money, and re-duces stormwater pollution. Fee $25 to take home your own bar-rel. To register, call Tina Blum, (803) 359-3165 ext. 3 or [email protected].

SQ. danCE/lInE danCE lESSOnS: Sundays, 2-4 p.m.,

Hugh Dimmery Me-morial Center, 680 Cher-

okee Ln., West Colum-bia. $5 per class. Spon-sored by The Columbia Twirlers, 803-772-0546 or http://www.scsquare-dance.com/ or http://www.thebarnsc.com/

HElP fOR COUnTY VET-ERanS: Veterans’ Affairs Officer Ed Lundeen meets Veterans, surviv-ing spouses, dependents and beneficiaries at area Gaston Library first Thursday each month – 10 a.m.-12 p.m.; Chapin Library, first Friday of each month – 9 a.m.-11 a.m.; and Batesburg-Leesville Library, second Friday of each month – 10 a.m.-noon. The office provides education, ad-vice and assistance in fil-ing VA claims and infor-mation regarding VA programs. Appointments encouraged, call 803-785-8400 Monday-Friday 8am-5pm.

memOriaL DayMEMORIal daY SER-VICE: May 25, 7 p.m., Mt. hermon Lutheran church, 3011 Leaphart rd., West columbia. Featuring the Palmetto Master Singers. all veterans will be rec-ognized. reception to follow. all are welcome. Info: call the church office, 794-6430 or Wynne Price, 920-4087.

meetings

PInE RIdGE WOMEn’S ClUb: Meets 3rd Thursday each month September through May at Pine ridge Town hall. In-fo: hazel Kanipe, 803-755-9995.

CaREGIVER RElIEf: Bab-cock center is launching WOW! Seniors Program, made possible through a grant from the United Way of the Midlands, to provide caregiver relief opportunities on the weekends for those caring for people with intellectual dis-abilities, autism and related dis-abilities age 55 and older within their home. Program runs 8 a.m.–4 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays at sites located in rich-land and Lexington counties. Free to individuals who are not currently receiving supports through the Department of Dis-abilities and Special needs. In-formation, call Marcus Smith, 799-1970.

mUseUmsEdVEnTURE CHIl-dREn’S MUSEUM: a learning experience especially for children 12 and under, Monday-Saturday 9 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sun-days noon to 5 p.m. 211 Gervais Street, columbia, children and adults: $11.50; Seniors (62+): $10.50; Military (with ID): $10.50; Members: Free; children under one: Free. Info: 803 779 3100

lEXInGTOn COUnTY MUSEUM: Collection of antebellum buildings and artifacts. Tues.-Sat 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Sunday 1-4 p.m. Closed Mondays and holidays. 231 Fox Street at U.S. 378 (Co-lumbia Ave.) Adults $5, children $2. Info: 359-8369.

SC aRCHIVES & HISTO-

RY CEnTER: Open Mon-Fri, 8:45 a.m. - 4:45 p.m., at 8301 Parklane Road, Columbia.

COlUMbIa MUSEUM Of aRT: Corner Main and Hampton, Columbia. Tu. - Fri. 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Sat-urday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun. 12 p.m.-5 p.m. Closed Mondays. Adults $10, Students $5. Every Sunday is free. Info 799-2810. Free admission to all active duty military personnel and their fami-lies.

S.C. STaTE MUSEUM: 301 Gervais St., 898-4921. Adults $7, seniors $6, children 3-12 $5, un-der 3 free, Military dis-count.

mUsicRHYTHM On THE RIVER: Prettier Than Matt and The Prai-rie Willows perform May 23, 6-9 p.m. at the West columbia riv-erwalk amphitheater, 121 alex-ander road, West columbia.

reUniOnslEXInGTOn HIGH ClaSS Of ‘85: Lexington high school’s class of 1985 has its 30th reunion July 18. contact Melissa crumpton hook, 803-351-6093, Pansy Phillips Shull at 803-356-3289 or email [email protected].

YOUr WeeKLY GUIDe TO area eVenTS

Documents

Lake Murray Fish Wrapper 5-21-15