Skills for LifeLevel 2

Writing Examination Report - Test 051

September 2005

© UCLES 2006 EMC | 4379e | 6Y10

University of Cambridge ESOL Examinations1 Hills RoadCambridgeCB1 2EU United Kingdom

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Skills for Life Writing (Level 2) Examination Report

This report is based on candidate performance on Skills for Life (Writing) tests between May 2005 and December 2005. It also includes data collected from a questionnaire completed by candidates, which asks them to supply details of their age, gender, experience of English and first language(s). The report is intended as an aid to teachers and colleges in preparing candidates for future Cambridge ESOL Skills for Life (Writing) tests. It includes a number of sample candidate answers accompanied by examiner comments. Level 2 (Test 051)

The four tasks in this test were a letter of complaint to a shop about a purchase, a proposal to the Council regarding saving a park, a personal statement supporting an application for a new job and a report on how young people spend their free time. There were 36 marks available on the paper. The breakdown of marks available for each assessment focus (Text, Sentence and Word) is shown below:

Text Sentence Word Task 1 3 3 3 Task 2 6 3 3 Task 3 6 6 3

Overall most candidates performed well on the paper with 83.8% of candidates scoring the 21 or more marks required to pass. The average mark was 25.7. Candidates scored most highly in the Text focus, where the average mark was 11.2 out of 15. Candidates performed well in the Text focus on all the questions but the strongest performance was seen in Task 1. Most candidates managed to organise their answer well in a logical manner and appropriate tone. They also did well in Task 2, although it gave little guidance on structure, and on Task 3a and 3b. Candidates generally also performed well on Word focus using a range of appropriate vocabulary, including impressive collocations. The average mark was 6.57 out of 9. Candidates performed equally well on all questions but weaker candidates tended to make errors in collocations. Candidates performed least well on Sentence focus scoring 7.9 out of 12. Most managed to produce both complex and compound sentences with a good measure of control and appropriate verb forms and tenses. However, in Task 3 especially, some candidates made errors in word order and modal forms. Candidates performed well on all the Tasks, but Tasks 1 and 2 were done marginally better than Task 3. In Task 1, strong candidates used appropriate language of narration and explanation and conditional sentences effectively, also using paragraphing well. The tone of the letter in most cases was appropriately polite and persuasive. Weaker candidates produced answers that dealt with general rather than specific terms and had inadequate paragraphing. Task 2 was also done well and most candidates were easily able to discuss the environmental issues. Weaker candidates did not suggest another place for the car park although the tone in most was appropriately persuasive. However, proposals that did not state the candidate’s own feelings tended to be less persuasive. In Task 3a strong candidates demonstrated good control of cohesive devices and paragraphing and gave detailed information for the four content points. Weaker candidates discussed experience rather than achievements or wrote a letter of application rather than a personal statement. Task 3b caused some difficulties for candidates. Stronger candidates dealt with each content point in turn whereas less effective reports tended to merge the three aspects of the task, leading to loss of coherence. A common imbalance was that candidates devoted too much space to a summary of information at the expense of the other content points or they included no data in their report.

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77% of candidates were female and the largest proportion were aged between 21 and 30 (56.4%). A large number of candidates (46%) said they had more than 5 years experience of English. Speakers of at least 53 first languages took this version of the test, the most common being Polish (19.0%), Spanish (12.6%), German (10.4%), French (8.5%), and Czech (6.7%). 3.5% of candidates reported that they spoke two first languages. Recommendations for Candidate Preparation

All Cambridge ESOL Skills for Life tests are based closely on the Adult ESOL Core Curriculum and cover all the Basic Skills Standards in each mode at each level. Therefore, by following the Adult ESOL Core Curriculum, teachers will be preparing their students for the tests. Candidates will benefit from being reminded of the following Dos and Don'ts: Do

• make use of the guidelines which tell you how much to write and how much time to spend on each

task. • read the task instructions carefully and check that you have done what the instructions say. • think carefully about the intended audience and adopt an appropriate tone and style.

• plan your answer carefully to make sure you have balanced the points. • make sure you use paragraphs and organise your answer appropriately.

• make use of appropriate opening and closing formulae (such as Dear Miho and Yours sincerely) in

letters and emails.

Don’t

• worry if you run out of space: your Centre will provide extra paper which will be marked in the normal way.

• waste time writing out a rough answer – use planning instead.

• forget to spend time checking your answers.

Sample Scripts

Sample scripts are provided for each task at each level. Please note that it is not possible to reproduce the original candidate answers, and so any references in the commentaries to quality of handwriting will not be reflected in the samples provided.

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Level 2 Script A Task 1 (About 15 minutes) You recently ordered and paid for something from a shop. After it was delivered, you discovered it was damaged. Write a letter of complaint: ● giving details of your purchase ● describing the problems you’ve experienced, how they happened and how they could have been

prevented ● saying what compensation you expect. Write about 100 words. You do not need to write the address or the date.

Dear sir,

Last week I ordered and paid for ten glasses. When it was delivered, I discovered that two of

them was broken.

I really need these glasses for saturday evening and I didn’t expect that there would be any

problems with my delivery.

If your not able to send me two new glasses before saturday I would like and expect a

compesation of 25% off the price because of the problems you may have cost me. I expect

hearing from you as soon as possible.

Yours sincerly,

(Total: 9 marks)

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Level 2 Script A

Commentary Mark

Text focus

Candidate has completed the task, though there is little evidence of attempt to expand content points. The reference to problems is in the future, so there is mention of how they could be prevented, rather than could have been prevented.

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Sentence focus

Candidate shows evidence of ability to construct complex sentences and use sub-clauses and there is limited control over a range of verb forms.

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Word focus

Candidate uses vocabulary appropriate to task, though cost is inappropriate to describe problems and the word compensation which appears in the rubric is spelt incorrectly.

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Level 2 Script B Task 1 (About 15 minutes) You recently ordered and paid for something from a shop. After it was delivered, you discovered it was damaged. Write a letter of complaint: ● giving details of your purchase ● describing the problems you’ve experienced, how they happened and how they could have been

prevented ● saying what compensation you expect. Write about 100 words. You do not need to write the address or the date.

Subject: Order 887

Dear Sir

I am writing with regard to the electric car I purchased last December from your shop (order 887)

It was a blue electric car for kids aged between 8 and 12 years old. This toy was a

christmas present for my nephew.

Unfortunately, when pressing the button ON to switch on the car, it did not move at all.

It looked like there was an electrical problem in the toy. The car was damaged and I could

not offer this present to my nephew. The damage could have been prevented if a staff from

the shop had checked the toy.

Therefore I ask you my money back (£30).

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully

(Total: 9 marks)

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Level 2 Script B

Commentary Mark

Text focus

Candidate has completed the task effectively and the intended audience would be able to act on the request for compensation. 3

Sentence focus

Controlled, natural use of language. Candidate shows evidence of ability to construct complex sentences and use connectives accurately and effectively.

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Word focus

Candidate uses a range of appropriate vocabulary effectively. Can spell correctly words used in daily life (apart from Christmas) and some familiar technical words.

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Level 2 Script C Task 2 (About 30 minutes) You read this article in your local newspaper. WEST PARK TO MAKE WAY FOR MULTI-STOREY There are plans to close the old West Park and replace it with a multi-storey car park in the town centre. Local residents strongly oppose the plan and are looking for support in persuading the council to reconsider, as they do not want to lose an important historical site. The Resident Association has asked people who live in the area to send proposals to the council giving their opinion of the current plans and explaining why the park should be saved. They should also persuade the council to reconsider and should suggest another place for the car park. Write a proposal to the council. Write about 180 words.

Dear Sir,

I was horrified when I discovered in the “Daily Gazette” that you wanted to build a multi-

storey car park on the site of West Park. Most people are really upset by this idea, and me,

first. West Park is one of our most famous parks. People love going there with family and

having fun, playing with the children, taking their dogs for a walk or just sitting there.

I am a member of the Resident Association and I saw the plans of the car-park. This car-

park will be definetely too big and too modern. It will give a really futuristic style to the city

and we think that the change will be too important.

According to me, when people choose to live somewhere, it is mostly because of the view of

its beauty. Now, with this car-park people will have the feeling that they have been stolen of

their city. There are other sites in the city which could suit to your car-park, I think. Why

don’t you have a look at the old manufactory just outside the city? Or why don’t you try to

find a idea to build this car-park underground?

People really want their city to stay the same. We are not against modernity but we want

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to preserve the memory of our city. And West Park is in the memory and the life of all the

inhabitants.

I hope that will consider my propositions and also understand our feeling.

Yours Sincerely

(Total: 12 marks)

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Level 2 Script C

Commentary Mark

Text focus

Candidate has completed the task effectively and resourcefully with some effective expansion. Text is coherent and clearly and effectively organised into paragraphs.

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Sentence focus

Controlled, natural use of language. Complex language attempted with some success. 3

Word focus

Candidate uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary effectively, including expressions chosen for effect. Occasional wrong choice of word, e.g. important, stolen of their city which may obscure meaning. Spelling is accurate.

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Level 2 Script D Task 2 (About 30 minutes) You read this article in your local newspaper.

WEST PARK TO MAKE WAY FOR MULTI-STOREY

There are plans to close the old West Park and replace it with a multi-storey car park in the town centre. Local residents strongly oppose the plan and are looking for support in persuading the council to reconsider, as they do not want to lose an important historical site. The Resident Association has asked people who live in the area to send proposals to the council giving their opinion of the current plans and explaining why the park should be saved. They should also persuade the council to reconsider and should suggest another place for the car park. Write a proposal to the council. Write about 180 words.

To the council

Dear Sirs,

I heard that the old West Park will be replaced by a multi-storey car park in the town centre.

I disagree with this idea because it will affect the historical site. Indeed, our city attracts

many tourists every year thanks to this site.

Moreover, the inhabitants can have a nice walk through the centre without being disturbed

by the cars. For these reasons, I ask you to reconsider your plans and find another place to

build the multistorey car park. There are many empty spaces outside the centre which are

convenient for everyone. For example, in the entrance of the city, opposite the cinema, the

multi storey car park can be built there and it is only ten minutes walk from the town centre.

There is another empty space at the back of the city in the Road A3028 and it is a big

ground.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Faithfully

(Total: 12 marks)

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Level 2 Script D

Commentary Mark

Text focus

The candidate has completed the task, though there is little evidence of attempt to expand content points. There is a satisfactory level of detail to achieve purpose, though intended audience might not be persuaded to consider suggestions. Text is coherent and clearly organised into paragraphs.

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Sentence focus Sentence grammar is consistently controlled. 2

Word focus

Candidate uses vocabulary appropriate to task, though there are a number of inappropriacies, i.e. the entrance of the city, the back of the city, a big ground. Spelling is correct throughout.

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Level 2 Script E Task 3a (About 45 minutes) You have applied for a new job. Write a personal statement supporting your application: ● giving reasons for applying for the job ● giving details of your achievements ● describing your skills (such as computer or language skills) ● saying why you would be suitable for this job. Write about 270 words.

Dear Sir or Madam.

I am writing to apply for the post that you published on the newspaper The Sunday Times

last Sunday.

I have been working at IBM Corporation since 2000, and I have to say that (tho) I am very

proud of that, but as a good profesional that I am, I am looking for better opportunities

for my career. Consequently, I think, your company would be agree that I have the right and

high records for yours.

I have degree in Economics from Bristol University, which I have finished in summer of 1985,

since then I have been doing so many courses in computers, personal management,

marketing and others.

I did many courses in computers like:

- Unix

- Xenix

- Work

- Micro chips

- Windows

In language, my mother tongue is Italian, but I can fluently speak and writte English and

Spanish, and I can speak some of Portuguese.

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I have very good experience working with big teams, and specially work under presure. I am

a very good lider, hard worker and easy person.

I am sure that you will find in my CV that I am fill all your necesities for the past that you

need for the company.

I would like to have as soon as possible the forms to fill it for the contract, and the in-

formation about my salary.

Of course I will have every thing ready for the interview as soon as you let me know. Atached

this you will find my details, I hope you will agree with me.

I looking to heard from you soon.

Yours faithfully

(Total: 15 marks)

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Level 2 Script E

Commentary Mark

Text focus

Candidate has developed all four points, but has forwarded them in the form of a letter of application rather than a personal statement. There is also a suggestion when she talks about contract and salary that she has already secured the job – therefore possible slight misinterpretation of task. Text is coherent and clearly organised into paragraphs.

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Sentence focus

Candidate shows evidence of ability to construct complex sentences and use sub-clauses and connectives appropriately and accurately. Has control over a wide range of verb tenses and forms.

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Word focus

Candidate uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary effectively, though there are inappropriacies and wrong choice of word, e.g. right and high records, personal management. Majority of words relevant to the task are spelt correctly.

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Level 2 Script F Task 3a (About 45 minutes) You have applied for a new job. Write a personal statement supporting your application: ● giving reasons for applying for the job ● giving details of your achievements ● describing your skills (such as computer or language skills) ● saying why you would be suitable for this job. Write about 270 words.

Subject: Application for International Assitant position

Dear Mrs Smith,

Your position as International Assistant held my attention because it suits my profile and

my willingness to work within the international area.

I am just graduated from a master degree in International Relations and I look for a position

within an international firm.

I can speak fluently three languages (French, English and Spanish) which is suitable for the

job. It will be a good advantage to communicate with the customers of the company in their

own language. I also have I.T skills and I am good at WORD, EXCEL and POWERPOINT.

Moreover, I am a person who can adapt easily and who is willing to learn. Last year, I had a

four months contract term as administrator with a company named International Direct.

I learned to be communicative, organised and customer-focused. I had to handle several

tasks at the same time which were administrative and financial.

I am suitable for the position of International Assistant thanks to my degree, my

multilingual skills, my previous experience and my ability to learn and adapt quickly. I will be

very happy to attend an interview at any time next week which is convenient for you.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Sincerely

(Total: 15 marks)

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Level 2 Script F

Commentary Mark

Text focus

Candidate has completed the task resourcefully, although it adopts the format of a letter of application, rather than a personal statement. Nevertheless, intended audience would be fully informed and there is effective expansion where necessary.

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Sentence focus

Candidate shows evidence of ability to construct complex sentences and uses connectives appropriately and accurately. 4

Word focus

Candidate uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary effectively and spelling is accurate throughout. 3

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Level 2 Script G Task 3b (About 45 minutes) At your college you have been studying how young people spend their free time now compared with 20 years ago. The table below shows this information. Activity Hours per week 1985 Hours per week 2005 Sport / exercise 4 1

Reading books 2.5 0.5

Watching TV 20 22

Computer / video games 0.5 20

Playing other games, e.g. cards 4 0.5

Listening to music 12 13

Write a report: ● summarising the information ● describing the most significant changes ● saying why you think the changes have taken place. Write about 270 words.

People’s lifestyles are changing through the years. By studying, how young people used to

spend their free-time 20 years ago in the eighties and now, we can notice that their

interests have changed quite a lot and this, for specific reasons.

Nowadays young people spend only one hour per week doing exercise or sport. It is three

times less than in 1984.

In 1986, young people were really keen on reading books (2.5 hours per week) but now it is

only half an hour. The biggest change can bee seen in their interest for computer and video

games. Nowadays, young people spend 20 hours a week on computer and video games. It is

a huge difference compared to 1984 when young people were only spending half an hour per

week on computer and video games.

So playing other games like cards has become less important to them: 4 hours per week in

1986 and only half an hour nowadays.

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It is not hard to guess that all the changes in young people’s free-time are because of

computers. In twenty years, there has been a lot of progresses in computers. They are

more attractive and ludic than in the eighties.

Nowadays, computers can be so useful for young people. For example to prepare their

homework, to communicate with friends by Internet. By doing everything at home, with their

computers, they don’t have time to go out and do some exercise. They have so many kind of

games they can play at home. With a video game, you can be the hero that you want. It is a

bit more interesting for young people to think that they can save the world instead of going

for a run with friends.

So, as a conclusion, we can say that young people need to be stimulated and they live

according to the world around them. They cannot be playing card when they know that they

can do many other things with their computers. The world is changing and the young

generation takes part of it.

(Total: 15 marks)

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Level 2 Script G

Commentary Mark

Text focus

Candidate has completed the task and has expanded on some of the content points, but there are minor omissions. She has not commented on television or listening to music in her summary. The text is coherent and clearly and effectively organised into paragraphs and there are strong introductory and concluding paragraphs.

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Sentence focus

Controlled, natural use of language. Effective and accurate control over a range of verb tenses. 6

Word focus

Candidate uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary effectively, including expressions chosen for effect. 3

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Level 2 Script H Task 3b (About 45 minutes) At your college you have been studying how young people spend their free time now compared with 20 years ago. The table below shows this information. Activity Hours per week 1985 Hours per week 2005 Sport / exercise 4 1

Reading books 2.5 0.5

Watching TV 20 22

Computer / video games 0.5 20

Playing other games, e.g. cards 4 0.5

Listening to music 12 13

Write a report: ● summarising the information ● describing the most significant changes ● saying why you think the changes have taken place. Write about 270 words.

As you can see the table shows a lot of information about how young spend their freetime.

The information is from 1984 and 2004, and I will try to describe the most significant

changes. Young people today is useing the technology a lot. They are playing in front of the

TV with video games or at the computer. They don’t take the time to go out and play, cause

it’s much easier to site in front of the TV and wach a movie instead of reading a book. Young

people don’t reading a book onless they really have to.

Young people will rather stay at home then doing sport or exercise and I really think that it’s

because of the new technology. There is ALWAYS something in the TV so you never feel bored

even thow it would be healthy to feel a little bored once in a wile.

If there was no TV, young people would go out and do sport and exercise to meet friends, but

now the TV is the new friend. It’s always there wen you need it and don’t tell you to run

faster, but it change you life.

(Total: 15 marks)

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Level 2 Script H

Commentary Mark

Text focus

There is no data to support the description/explanation. The level of detail to achieve purpose is barely satisfactory. 1

Sentence focus

Sentence grammar is sufficiently controlled for meaning to remain clear, though punctuation and syntax are sometimes inaccurate.

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Word focus

Candidate uses some vocabulary appropriate to task. Some common functional words are spelt incorrectly e.g., wach a movie, site in front of TV.

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