L ISTENING TO S TUDENTS WITH D ISABILITIES Cultivating a Campus of Responsive Agents Dr. Tara Wood Outline for Todays Talk PART ONE: introduction to my project Introduction Study Background Reflexivity PART TWO: exploring disability identities Resistance Intersectionality Community PART THREE: exploring disability disclosures Risk Management & Responsivity Strategies of Disclosure PART ONE Introductions Human beings make lives together by sharing their stories with each other. There is no other way of being together for our kind (Siebers 2002). The Study Semi-structured interviews 35 students with disabilities (both undergraduate and graduate) Disabilities Represented Mental Disabilities Physical Disabilities Chronic Disease Learning & Cognitive Disabilities PART TWO Exploring Disability Identities Resistance Diane: Tourettes isnt really meI feel like myself as a person is more than my disabilities, and I shouldnt be defined by my disabilities. Resistance Diane: I always notice it. Its the best way to describe it is try and keep your eyes open without blinkingif you try and keep your eyes open without blinking, youre gonna eventually blink and then you look around and think, did anyone notice me blink? Its always there. Its always nagging at me. Resistance Gavin: No, I dont allow it to become a portion of my identity. Its like anything else in life. Its a problem. Its a problem like, being an engineer, you think analytically about things so Im more of the type of person who would rather identify any problem or any bump in my life and do my best to overcome that. My identity is not defined by whatever diagnosis Ive currently been prescribed. I dont allow it to because if I did, Id just be more depressed of a person than I already have been. Resistance Gavin: I do trust the doctors... theyre the ones who are much more educated and much more intelligent on the subject. Resistance Chesty: The anxiety, I dont want to put them off. I dont want them to be weirded out. I think that with PTSD, veterans have gotten a really bad rap as far as that goes, so I dont want them to be nervous. Resistance Mike: too personal. Its a mental health problem, and I dont want people to look at me like Im crazy or that Im subnormal. Multi-dimensional Stigma Jake: And so I thought I was dumb... I couldnt stand having these remedial classes. I couldnt stand being this kid whos struggling. Multi-dimensional Stigma Jake: Being pulled out of the normal classroom to go to a special classroom, even young children still understand that special equals different and different is a stigma. Multi-dimensional Stigma Blair: I dont want people to identify me by my disability because Im in [pre-med]; its a really hard major and theres already a stigma of being a girl. And its still really hard and I dont want people to think Im not as smart as everyone else. And then if I identify with my disability, people will be like, Oh shes not as smart as everyone, but thats just not true at all. Multi-dimensional Stigma Greg: It was just nice to have somebody understand where I was at. Because that is still such a stigma in society. Its just not something that I want everybody to know about. And most people dont know. because its mainly associated with gay men. Thats it right there. Connection George: I have the ability to help them and usually when I converse with individuals with OCD or depression or any other disorder, I usually learn stuff too. And so its a two-way street in a sense. Connection Hilary: Im pretty open about it because I hate the stigma of it. Hilary: I post on there a lot to help people who have just been diagnosed. Because I remember how terrible that wasI went through a period of great shame about it. I felt like, Oh, Im a freak. I cant have a normal relationship. And I think if people have that shame, they wont talk about it, but if you realize its not a big deal, its like diabetes: you go get treated. Connection Veronica: I think knowing other people with disabilities is helpful for people and I dont know if that necessarily happens on a large campus like this...but I think its helpful just because you see what different kinds there are and also if you have something very similar, you can discuss it and you can say, Oh ok, I realize that this is that learning difference coming into play and somebody else understands what Im going through... PART THREE Disability & Disclosure Risk Management Tyler: Im still trying to figure out how to communicate about [disability] with certain people. Complexity of Disclosure Tyler: And part of it was because I realized that no one in the art school knew about this condition whereas my entire family knows, all my closest friends know, people at my workplace know, so I was wondering if art has to do with the rest of my life, why am I not telling these people about it? Tyler: Youre creating something and then other people are going to say I like that or I hate that. And it would be very hard if you do that too soon. Its deeply personalits an emotional thing. Risk Management April: I should tell them but at the same time I feel like Im gonna get scolded for not going to the disability center. I feel like theyre not going to respect that Im telling them, very unofficial. So I try not to tell them unless I feel closer to them. Risk Management Tom: They have to know. Its like helping myself by telling them. If I try to pass as normal and not tell my professor, thats really hurting myselfI guess it doesnt matter if they accept me or not. It is what it is. Im not trying to be their friend. Strategic Genericism Disclosing disability but not sharing type of disability Amber: I dont think they need to know, I guess. I dont want them to treat me differentlyeverybody thinks that people with Bipolar are crazy. Strategic Genericism Leah: I feel that sharing the specific disabilities I have with a professor is sharing things that can be easily judged one way or the other. Other disabilities are accepted by society as legitimate and thus, a professor cant react badly to it. Migraines and depression, I feel, are things that general society might not automatically deem a disability. It might take having a conversation with someone like me, who has been so significantly affected by them, for a sway towards disability to happen. By not describing my disability, the professor doesnt have the opportunity to judge whether it is legitimate or not. Selective Disclosure Revealing some disabilities while concealing others Lillie: Learning disabilities tend to be accepted, and I almost feel like depression isnt even a problem. A Sway Towards Disability Thank you.