Kids say the darnest things !!Jonah and the WhaleA little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah. The teacher asked, What if Jonah went to hell? The little girl replied, Then you ask him.The Ten CommandmentsA Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to honor thy Father and thy mother, she asked, is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters? Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, Thou shall not kill.Kiss and TellAn honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. How did that happen? gasped her mother. It wasnt easy, admitted the young lady, but three girls helped me catch him.A Cat TaleA three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. How did you know? his mother asked. Daddy picked them up and looked underneath, he replied. I think its printed on the bottom.Freckles and WrinklesAn elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. Youve got so many freckles, theres no place to paint! a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the childs cheek. Freckles are beautiful! The boy looked up, Really? Of course, said the grandmother. Why, just name me one thing thats prettier than freckles. The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandmas face, and softly whispered, Wrinkles.A Sea TaleOur five-year-old son Mark couldnt wait to tell his father about the movie we had watched on television, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, What caused the submarine to sink? With a look of incredulity Mark replied, Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!PSSST!A kindergarten pupil told his teacher hed found a cat, but it was dead. How do you know that the cat was dead? she asked her pupil. Because I pissed in its ear and it didnt move, answered the child innocently. You did WHAT ? ! ? the teacher exclaimed in surprise. You know, explained the boy, I leaned over and went Pssst! and it didnt move.Truth at the SermonIt was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the childrens sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress? The little girl replied, directly into the pastors clip-on microphone, Yes, and my Mom says its a bitch to iron.Smooth BoysA little girl asked her mother, Can I go outside and play with the boys? Her mother replied, No, you cant play with the boys, theyre too rough. The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?