Upload
newoka-lashelle
View
251
Download
0
Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
1/126
CjrgjxLmr|} Xdhrd|xGdg`mr
_rm||de b}. Edw`cj NjXfdnnd Bjcdr
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
2/126
Lrdjg Qnj} Qr`lth|m`ex. NNH
www%Edw`cj%Mei`
www%wmv%h`g_dbgmx|rdxx2Jtlm`'B``c'Qr`lth|m`e
H`q}rmof| 21:: Lrdjg Qnj} Qr`lth|m`ex. NNH
Nmbrjr} `i H`eordxx Hj|jn`omeo'me'Qtbnmhj|m`e Lj|j
Bjcdr. Edw`cj NjXfdnnd
Cjrgjx Lmr|} Xdhrd|x Gdg`mrEdw`cj NjXfdnnd Bjcdr% S:x|.
Dl%W
MXBE; =?6':'
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
3/126
Ldlmhj|dl |` g} nj|d ordj| orjelij|fdr Q`r| Jr|ftr _rmof|
&B`re Kjetjr} :. :=14 ' Xtexd|; Gjrhf ::. 2111-
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
4/126
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
5/126
Jt|f`r Gdxxjod;
\fd h`e|de| |fj| }`t jrd jb`t| |` rdjl me |fmx b``c de|m|ndl. CjrgjxLmr|} Xdhrd|x mx bjxdl `e |rtd x|`rmdx% X`gd ejgdx fjyd bddehfjeodl `en} |` qr`|dh| |fd |rtn} mee`hde|% ]`t gj} dyde bdxtrqrmxdl |` rdnj|d |` x`gd `i |fd x|`rmdx jx mi |fd jt|f`r wjx |jncmeojb`t| }`t% Dm|fdr wj}. mi }`t hjee`| fjelnd |fd |rt|f wd jlymxd }`t|` qt| |fmx b``c l`we e`w jel rdgjme me |fd ljrc% F`wdydr. mi }`t
ldxmrd |` ce`w |fd ld|jmndl |rt|f rdjl me'bd|wdde |fd nmedx i`r |fdejgdx rdydjndl me |fd nmof| `i cjrgj%
Cjrgj mx j bm|hf me |fd del% Edw`cj NjXfdnnd Bjcdr
G}Hn`xtrd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
6/126
H @ E \ D E \ X
Me|r`lth|m`e &gdxxjod ir`g |fd jt|f`r G} Hn`xtrd-
Ldjr Cjrgj Jb`t| Ijgmn} Xdhrd|x
:% Ijhmeo J Nm||nd Omrnx Ldg`ex
2% Gtoo} Gto Xf`|
8% \fd Htrxd `i Cjrgj
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
7/126
J B @ T \ I J G M N ] X D H R D \ X
G} g`|fdr wjx j hndydr. hfjrgmeo. ldhdm|itn. xgmnmeo me }`tr ijhd. bjhc
x|jbbmeo n`w l`we lmr|} bm|hf% Jndv}xx C% \}n`r
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
8/126
H F J R \ J H \ D R X ' _ F J
L M L ] @ T Q N J ] 0
Edw`cj NjXfdnnd Bjcdr
B`re Kjetjr} :?. :=?9
G} Ij|fdr R`nnme G
Orjelg`|fdr Orjelij|fdr Ordj| Orjelg`
R @ N D
} G`|fdr X|mec
|fdr Ordj| Orjelij|fdr
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
9/126
Ijhmeo J Nm||nd Omrnx Ldg`ex
Ldjr Cjrgj;
B} |fd |mgd }`t od| |fmx
nd||dr M wmnn bd |fmr|}'imyd
}djrx `nl. lmx`wedl b} g}
g`|fdr. j ijgmn} `i g}`we jel nmymeo jx ijr jwj}
ir`g X|% N`tmx jx M hje
jii`rl% F`wdydr. M wje|dl
|` xfjrd g} x|`r} me ld|jmn
jb`t| |fd wj} `i |fd w`rnl
wfde M wjx j nm||nd omrn%
B`re |` |ddejod qjrde|x `t| `i wdln`hc wjx melddl
je jlyde|trd |fj| M jg bndxxdl |` fjyd xtrymydl%
X`gd qd`qnd jrd e`| hjqjbnd `i bdmeo n`ymeo qjrde|x
jel me g} `qmem`e xf`tnl e`| fjyd `iixqrmeo%
F`wdydr. g} qjrde|x h`ehdmydl j ljtof|dr b`re `t|
`i wdln`hc `e |fd :?|f lj} `i Kjetjr} b`re me |fd
}djr :=?9% G} hfmnlf``l f`gd wjx n`hj|dl me |fd
fmx|`rmhjn Ymnnd edmofb`rf``l me E`r|f X|% N`tmx
Hm|}% \fd Ymnnd wjx `ehd f`gdx |` wdjn|f}
njel`wedrx. g`ldx njb`rdrx. xmgqnd ijrgdrx.
l`h|`rx. njw}drx. |djhfdrx jel meintde|mjn
q`nm|mhmjex%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
10/126
@tr ijgmn} nmydl `e |fd xjgd x|rdd| `e
Hfjrndx Dlwjrl Jeldrx`e "Hfthc"
@h|`bdr :6. :=29- je Jgdrmhje otm|jel x`eowrm|dr. jel `ed `i |fd qm`eddr
r`nn g
hfmnlf``l
xdydrjn
ir`g |fd
jel wfm|d
f`txd |fj
me o``l
|`lj} je
Dyj _`
Hnjrc wjx
`i _mnnmj
|fd NdwmDvqdlm|m`e% G} nj|d ordj| orjelq
gjrrmdl `e |fd =|f lj} `i Kted me |fd }
rdgjmedl j n`ymeo h`tqnd te|mn ldj|f l
me gml E`ydgbdr :=69% G} nmid hfjeo
wfde g} ordj| orjelg`|fdr lmdl% \fm
|fd n`ednmdx| |mgdx me g} nmid jel
ldqrdxxdl jb`t| |fd ejx|} |fmeox qd`qmehntlmeo g} `we g`|fdr wfde e` `ed
Ljll} Q`r| w`tnl jnwj}x |dnn gd
wfde fd wjx or`wmeo tq me _rmof|xymn
Fd fjl |w` xmx|drx. |frdd br`|fdrx. i`
ljtof|dr. |wde|}'|w` ordj| orjelhfmn
i`tr ordj| orjelhfmnlrde. j f`x| `i o
emdhdx. edqfdwx. irmdelx jel rd|mrdrjmnr`jl wfde fd lmdl Gjrhf ::. 2111%
hd xfjrdl b}
Bdrr} &b`re
jrmx|. xmeodr.`i r`hc jel
txmh% G}
f`gd wjx
``rx l`we
mx|`rmhjn rdl
Qd|dr Hnjrc
x|mnn x|jelx
h`elm|m`e
`wedl b}
ni`nc% Qd|dr
|fd edqfdw
Hnjrc `i
jel Hnjrcrde|x wdrd
jr :=2? jel
qjr|dl |fdg.
l lrjx|mhjnn}
wjx `ed `i
M wjx `i|de
nd lml |` gdwjx jr`tel%
|`rmdx jb`t|
nd. Jrcjexjx%
tr x`ex. `ed
lrde. |fmr|}'
jelhfmnlrde3
l ir`g |fd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
11/126
Ljll} Q`r|
Kjetjr} :.h`tnl e` n`
gd ir`g |fd
me|de|m`ex `i
hfmnl qjrde|
|``c rdxq`
|fdmr `we
|fmx ydr} l
f`txd wjx l
|fd hm|} `i
edw f`gd
jng`x| dmof| }djrx ji|dr fd lmdl% \fmx
xde|mgde|jn qf}xmhjn gdg`r} |fj| M f
hfmnlf``l f`gd wm|f g} ordj| orjxddgdl nmcd |fd xte lml e`| xfmed jx
|fd} b`|f lmdl% \fdrd wjx e` n`eodr je
f`nl `e|` me X|% N`tmx% M wjx h`exml
fmofn} me|dnnmode|. wdnn gjeedrdl qrd
b} g`x| jltn|x me g} hfmnlf``l% Mez
nmid. ej|trd. jr|. lrjwmeo. b``cx. gt
wrm|meo. hftrhf jel qd|x wjx g} qjxx |momrn% M fjl j nmid `i j hfmnl brmdin} orj
xtqq`r| `i g} ordj| orjelij|fdr i`r q
xhtnq| hnjxxdx. ym`nme ndxx`ex mehntlm
bmrl wj|hfmeo jel mlde|mimhj|m`e `i xq
me |fd xhf``n jel hftrhf hf`mr delme
jel qjme|meo ndxx`ex me |fd Qjrcwj} X
wm|f j 8%1 OQJ h`exmldrmeo |fd ijh|x|tl} wm|f e` fdnq% @e |`q `i |r}meo
wjx b`re `e
:=14 jeleodr qr`|dh|
xmhc |wmx|dl
g} moe`rje|
wf` edydr
xmbmnm|} i`r
h|m`ex te|mn
}% Ljll}x
g`nmxfdl b}
|% N`tmx i`r
h`ex|rth|m`e
wjx |fd `en}
l ndi| `i g}
lqjrde|x% M|brmof| wfde
}|fmeo ndi| |`
rdl |` bd j
`hm`tx hfmnl
mxm|myd jb`t|
xmh. rdjlmeo.
gd jx j nm||nd|dl wm|f |fd
je` ndxx`ex3
o x|tlmdx me
hmdx. xmeomeo
me lrjwmeo
f``n Lmx|rmh|
fj| M fjl |`|` i`htx `e
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
12/126
odedrjn h`rd x|tlmdx M wjx jnx` ldjnmeo wm|f bdmeo
|`thfdl b} jltn|x jel `nldr cmlx me qrmyj|d qnjhdx j|
`r edjr f`gd |fj| mey`nydl ijgmnmjr ijhdx% M| wjxtefdjrl `i me `tr ijgmn} |` |jnc jb`t| xdvtjn jbtxd
jel M w`tnl imel `t| |fd fjrl wj} jb`t| rjqd jel
g`ndx|drx% M wjx j hfmnl. j ymrome gdjemeo |fj| M
wjx xdvtjnn} medvqdrmdehdl jel lml e`| fjyd |fd
jbmnm|} |` teldrx|jel |fd |drg h`exdextjn xdv te|mn
gthf nj|dr me nmid% G} g`|fdrx br`|fdr txd |` |jcd
gd |` |fd |fmrl in``r `i |fd f`txd |fj| fd xfjrdl
wm|f fmx g`|fdr jel xmbnmeox% Fd i`elndl gd `e j|
ndjx| |w` `hhjxm`ex |fj| M hje rdhjnn% _fde g} tehnd
|rmdl |` qded|rj|d gd jel M w`tnl xhrdjg jel fd
w`tnl |dnn gd |` bd ztm|d jel `qde g} ndox. M wjx
xmv }djrx `nl bdhjtxd M rdhjnn |fmx bdmeo rmof| bdi`rd
M wjx der`nndl me |fd cmeldrojr|de% _fde M |`nl fmxg`|fdr M o`| j bdj|meo i`r wfj| fjqqdedl% M wjx j
nm||nd omrn bdj|de b} j w`gje wf` M edydr dydr
xq`cd |` jojme me rdojrlx |` |fd |`qmh `i xdvtjn
jbtxd% Nj|dr me nmid M i`tel `t| |fj| M jg e`| |fd
`en} ijgmn} gdgbdr |` fjyd bdde g`ndx|dl% \fd
xdvtjn jbtxd x|`qqdl b} g} g`|fdrx br`|fdr bt|
h`e|metdl wm|f g} orjelij|fdrx x|dq x`e b} jod |dejel j fjni }djrx `i jod% Ji|dr g`ggj Kdxxmd qjxxdl
jwj} m| xddgdl nmcd |fd w`nydx h`tnle| wjm| |` od|
j| gd% G} ordj| orjelg`|fdr fjl jnwj}x |`nl gd
e`| |` |jnc jb`t| |fmeox nmcd |fmx ztmhcn} ht||meo gd
`ii ir`g ldxhrmbmeo me ld|jmn wfj| M wjx |r}meo |`
|dnn fdr jb`t| bdmeo xdvtjnn} g`ndx|dl% Me |fd del
g} hfmnlf``l jel ymromem|} wjx x|`nde ndjymeo gd`en} |` ldjn wm|f g} xw`nnde. rmqqdl. bnddlmeo
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
13/126
dndyde }djr `nl yjomej me qjme wm|f e` `ed |` |tre
|`% Bt| `i h`trxd |fd} lml e`| wje| gd |` |jnc jb`t|
|fmeox nmcd |fmx btnn hrjq o`| `nl dyde|tjnn}% M wr`|djb`t| dydr}|fmeo |fj| wjx o`meo `e me g} nmid me j
qrmyj|d lmjr}% \fmx wjx |fd `en} wj} |fj| M cedw
f`w |` h`qd jel f`nl `e |` qdjhd `i gmel% G}
hfmnlf``l wm|f g} ordj| orjelqjrde|x wjx
xfdn|drdl. h`exmx|de| jel nmgm|dl |` x|rmh| rtndx jel
rdnmom`tx qrjh|mhdx i`r dvjgqnd qnj}meo hjrlx wjx
h`exmldrdl j w`rnln} |fmeo. gmxxmeo hftrhf `e
Xtelj} wjx e`| je `q|m`e jel |jncmeo jb`t|
je}|fmeo xdvtjnn} rdnj|dl wjx |fd tn|mgj|d |jb`` `i
jnn i`r jx ijr bjhc jx M hje rdhjnn% \fd nm||nd omrn |fj| M
txd |` bd n`ydl xwdd|x. mhd hrdjg. h`n`rmeo b``cx
jel btx |rmqx l`we|`we wm|f g} ordj| orjelij|fdr%
Ljll} xq`mndl gd wm|f j edw Bjrbmd l`nn jng`x|djhf |mgd fd wde| l`we|`we wm|f `r wm|f`t| gd%
Fd txd |` q`q q`qh`re me j fdjy} `nl bnjhc hjx|
mr`e xcmnnd| jel M rdhjnn f`w djodr M wjx |` wj|hf |fd
nml rmxd `ydrin`wmeo wm|f njrod intii} q`qh`re%
Ljll} rjrdn} dydr xjml e` |` gd. edydr fm| `r
rjmxdl fmx y`mhd j| gd `r je}`ed dnxd |fj| M hje |fmec
`i% M rdhjnn fjymeo j n`eo |jnc wm|f g} ordj|orjelij|fdr jxcmeo mi M h`tnl nmyd wm|f |fdg jel o`
|` xhf``n% Ljll} Q`r| x|jr|dl `t| wjncmeo gd |`
xhf``n jel qmhcmeo gd tq dydr} lj} wfde M
j||deldl K`fe Gjrxfjnn Dndgde|jr} Xhf``n me E`r|f
X|% N`tmx Hm|}% K`fe Gjrxfjnn Dndgde|jr} Xhf``n
wjx btmn| me |fd :=11/x jel wjx |fd `en} xhf``n me
|fd Ymnnd jrdj e`| `rmomejnn} me|deldl i`r JirmhjeJgdrmhje x|tlde|x% Me :=:6. Gjrxfjnn bdhjgd je
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
14/126
me|drgdlmj|d xhf``n i`r Jirmhje Jgdrmhjex wfdrd m|
xdrydl |fd Ymnnd jrdj jx je dndgde|jr} xhf``n xmehd
:=2?% Jn`eo |fd wj} wd w`tnl |jnc jnn jb`t| g}xhf``n lj} jel M rdhjnn bdmeo djodr |` xdd fmg
x|jelmeo j| |fd b`||`g `i |fd x|dqx wjm|meo i`r gd |`
h`gd `t| `i xhf``n% @tr wjncx deldl ji|dr g`ggj
Kdxxmd lmdl ndjymeo gd |` wjnc f`gd wm|f
hnjxxgj|dx% M wjx jnwj}x |mrdl me |fd g`remeox j|
xhf``n bdhjtxd M fjl ldydn`qdl j xdydrd hjxd `i
mex`gemj wm|f j fjrl |mgd xnddqmeo% G} ordj|
orjelg`|fdrx te|mgdn} ldj|f wjx ldyjx|j|meo |`
gd bdhjtxd M xndq| me fdr r``g j| emof| te|mn xfd
lmdl% Ljll} x|jr|dl xnddqmeo `e |fd h`thf ji|dr fdr
ldj|f |` cddq je d}d `e |fd ir`e| l``r |` fmx f`txd%
Ormdymeo i`r |fd n`xx `i g} ordj| orjelg`|fdr ndi|
gd jeor} jel h`eitxdl j| |fj| jod q`eldrmeo f`w|fmx h`tnl fjyd fjqqdedl wfde wd eddldl fdr x`
gthf jx j ijgmn}% _fde xfd wjx nmymeo M edydr
wm|edxxdl je}`ed l` ltgb lmxrdxqdh|itn |fmeox me
fdr qrdxdehd% F`wdydr. ji|dr fdr ldj|f m| xddgdl
nmcd |fd ijgmn} idnn jqjr| me|` j gmnnm`e |me} qmdhdx%
Ljll} lmle| njtof jx gthf je}g`rd jel M lmle|
|jnc |` fmg jb`t| dydr}|fmeo bdhjtxd M fjl jnwj}xce`we |` jqqr`jhf g} ordj| orjelg`|fdr i`r
qrmyj|d idgjnd gj||drx% \fd `nldr M bdhjgd |fd
fjrldr m| wjx |` |jnc |` ljll} jb`t| |fmeox |fj| wdrd
x|jr|meo |` fjqqde |` gd% M wjx bdh`gmeo j gmvdl
dg`|m`ejn r`nndr h`jx|dr f`nlmeo `e |` xdhrd|x |fj|
bdhjgd j brt|jn h}hnd `i jbtxd% \fmecmeo bjhc |`
f`w ljll} edydr hdex`rdl `r ht| gd `ii ir`gdvqrdxxmeo g}xdni% M edydr |`nl ljll} jb`t| wf`
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
15/126
wjx xdvtjnn} g`ndx|meo gd bt| M |fmec fd fjl je
mldj x`gd|fmeo wjx e`| rmof| jel fdnqdl gd
f`wdydr fd h`tnl% Ljll} xj| gd l`we `ed emof|bdhjtxd M fjl bdde hr}meo% M w`tnl e`| |dnn fmg wf}
M wjx hr}meo bt| fd wde| `e |` |dnn gd |fj| M h`tnl
|jnc |` fmg jb`t| je}|fmeo |fj| wjx b`|fdrmeo gd%
F`wdydr. M cedw me g} fdjr| ljll} wjx |`` `nl |`
x|`q wfj| fjqqdedl `t|xmld `i fmx f`txd jel M fjl
bdh`gd txd |` ldjnmeo wm|f |fd ftgmnmj|m`e ir`g
bdmeo xdvtjnn} jbtxd jn`ed bdhjtxd jnn qjx| j||dgq|x
|` |dnn |fd `edx wf` fjl |fd q`wdr |` x|`q m| moe`rdl
`r bnjgdl gd i`r wfj| fjqqdedl% Injxfmeo bjhc |`
wddcdelx g} orjelij|fdr jel fmx wmid x|jr|dl
qmhcmeo g} xmx|dr jel gd tq ir`g g} ordj|
orjelqjrde|x f`txd |` xqdel |mgd wm|f fmx x|dq cmlx
jel o` xcj|meo% M wjx j xfdn|drdl hfmnl b} g} ordj|orjelqjrde|x jel lml e`| teldrx|jel |fd qtrq`xd `i
bdmeo |`thfdl me g} qrmyj|d qnjhd `r |fd qjme
jxx`hmj|dl wm|f |fd i`nn`wmeo teej|trjn jh|m`ex `i
wfj| x`gd hjnn j Gtoo}%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
16/126
GTOO]Gto Xf`|
\fd rjoo
|fj| x|`nd
wfde M w
omrn xgmnd
xf`| j
h`eymh|dlx`l`g} y
imi|dde }d
omrn% Injxfmeo bjhc |` |fd }djr :=6? w
b`} |f`tof| m| wjx j o``l mldj |` x|djn
|fr`tof g`ndx|j|m`e. rjqd jel x`l`g} hfmnlf``l mee`hdehd i`r nmid% Fd
h`eemymeo ton} bnjhc bjx|jrl wf` wm
btrlde wm|f bdmeo dvq`xdl |` |fd
rdomx|drdl xdv `iideldr jx je jltn|%
fmofn} lmxjordd wm|f fmx rdndjxd bjhc m
l` e`| bdnmdyd xdv `iideldrx ldxdr
hfjehd nmymeo me hmymnm{j|m`e bdhjtxd
h`ggm|x xdvtjn jh|x tq`e j hfmnl `r je
|` fjyd x`gd lddq r``|dl gde|jn xmh
rdfjbmnm|j|m`e% Qd`qnd wf` xtqq`r| rjqm
otmn|} dxqdhmjnn} wfde |fd} cedw
bdfjym`r jel ldhmldl |` cddq |fj|
dl} bjx|jrl
g} ymromem|}
x ktx| j nm||nd
me fmx gto
|dr bdmeo
me :=6= i`rmh|mgm{meo j
jr `nl nm||nd
de j |ddejod
g} ymromem|}
} ljgjomeojx j ymhm`tx
n i`rdydr bd
w`rnl jx j
F`wdydr. M
|` x`hmd|}% M
d j xdh`el
je}`ed wf`
`ed dnxd fjx
edxx bd}`el
x| jrd ktx| jx
jb`t| |fmx
mei`rgj|m`e
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
17/126
fmllde% F`wdydr. jx jnwj}x wfj|x l`ed me |fd ljrc
wmnn bd rdydjndl me |fd nmof| `i Cjrgj% M| w`tnl
bd wdnn `ydr |wde|} |frdd }djrx bdi`rd |fmx
mei`rgj|m`e wjx rdydjndl |` gd b} je je`e}g`tx
x`trhd wf` wje|dl gd |` ce`w |fj| |fmx i``n fjl
bdde h`eymh|dl i`r j xdvtjn `iidexd jr`tel |fd xjgd
|mgd fd wjx rjqmeo gd jx j nm||nd omrn% M wjx j bjb}
jel me j xdexd m| iddnx nmcd hn`xtrd wjx yjnmlj|dl
bdhjtxd j| ndjx| fd lml e`| od| jwj} wm|f j xdvtjn
`iidexd `e je`|fdr hfmnl wf` xq`cd tq jel wjx
fdjrl n`tl jel hndjr% M jnx` |fmec bjhc |` |fd rdhde|
moe`rje| gdxxjodx xde| me 21:1 mehntlmeo |frdj|x
ir`g fmx xmx|dr bdhjtxd M qtbnmhn} xq`cd tq jb`t|
fdr br`|fdr bdmeo j rjqmx|% M l`e| omyd j ljge
wfj| fmx ijgmn} |fmecx jb`t| gd wfde m|x jnn xjml
jel l`ed% \fd |rt|f wmnn bd |`nl nmcd m| `r e`|%
Rjqmx|. hfmnl g`ndx|drx jel |fd qd`qnd wf` h`ydr tq
i`r |fdg h`gqjrd |` j ijgmn} `i xntox me |fd `qmem`e
`i Xfdnn%
Gtoo} wjx |fd imrx| `ed |` x|rmq jwj} g} ymromem|}
wfde M wjx dndyde }djrx `nl me |fd njtelr} r``g me
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
18/126
|fd bjxgde| `e G`ejrhf me G`nmed Jhdrx. Gmxx`trm%
\fdrd wjx j gj||rdxx ndjemeo tq jojmex| j wjnn me
|fd njtelr} r``g wm|f j wjxfdr jel lr}dr edjr b}% M
wjx i`rhdl |` g} ceddx |` qdri`rg `rjn xdv `e j|
ndjx| |w` `hhjxxm`ex te|mn |fd q`me| `i ojoomeo wm|f
rdindvdx |` |fr`w tq% Gtoo} w`tnl e`| x|`q jel
gjld h`ggde|x nmcd `qde }`tr g`t|f bdhjtxd fdl
gde|m`edl |fj| fd h`tnl iddn g} |dd|f% M n`x| g}
ymromem|} x|jelmeo tq wm|f Gtoo}x fjel `ydr g}
g`t|f |` gtiind |fd x`telx `i qjme% J n`omhjn
qdrx`e gj} |fmec m| wjx dvqdh|dl i`r |fd qjrde|x |`
rdq`r| |` q`nmhd jel meydx|moj|d jnndoj|m`ex `i
g`ndx|m`e `r rjqd jel fjyd |fd hfmnl hfdhcdl j| |fd
f`xqm|jn. rmof|0 Tei`r|tej|dn}. M lml e`| fjyd |fj|
xtqq`r| jx j nm||nd omrn ir`g g} otjrlmjex jel |fd
g`ndx|dr wjncdl irddn} |` g`ndx| `r rjqd x`gd`ed
dnxd% \fd qr`bndg h`e|metdx |` ndjc l`we |fr`tof
odedrj|m`ex `i ijgmnmdx jnn`wmeo |fmx cmel `i xdvtjn
bdfjym`r |` bd moe`rdl wm|f f`qdx |fj| m| w`tnl
xmgqn} o` jwj}% M jg fdrd |` |dnn }`t ir`g
dvqdrmdehd |fj| m| wmnn edydr o` jwj}%\fmx b``c wjx
mexqmrdl b} |fd dvqdrmdehdx `i j nm||nd omrn wf`
h`e|metdx |` xqdjc |` bd fdjrl jb`t| j qr`bndg |fj|eddl |` bd jllrdxxdl |` brdjc |fmx ymhm`tx h}hnd `i
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
19/126
cddqmeo xdhrd|x jel h`ydrmeo tq x
F`wdydr. cddq me gmel |` |jcd j hn`x
x|jt|d `i nmgm|j|m`e jel x|j|d njwx r
hrmgdx mey`nymeo hfmnlrde% Mi }`t `r
ce`w fjyd bdde j ymh|mg `i xdvtjn jb
m|x edydr |`` nj|d |` |jcd |fd gj||dr
jel bd qrdqjrdl |` xqdjc }`tr |rt|f je
edhdxxjr}%
M wjx jirjml |` |dnn bdhjtxd M o`| j bd
|mgd M |`nl je jltn| jb`t| |fd xdvtjn jx
me |fd njtelr} r``g me |fd bjxdgde|
G} nm||nd b`l} wdmofdl wdnn teld
q`telx wfde g} ymromem|} wjx x|
i`rhdl rdqdj|dl rjqdx% M| dxhjnj|dl j
\
l
`
qX
Q
x
c
vtjn jbtxd%
r n``c j| |fd
ojrlmeo xdv
`gd`ed }`t
xd jx j hfmnl
|` |fd q`nmhd
l rdqdj| m| mi
|meo |fd imrx|
xjtn|x x|jr|dl
`e G`ejrhf%
j ftelrdl
nde |fr`tof
l bdhjgd j
jcd j hn`xdr n``c j| |fd
|jbjxd `i rdomx|drdl xdv
ideldrx me Gmxx`trm.
`ymldl b} |fd Gmxx`trmj|d Fmofwj} Qj|r`n%
rfjqx. }`t gj} xdd
gd`ed }`t |f`tof| }`t
dw `e G`ejrhf Lrmyd%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
20/126
rdotnjr r`t|med jnwj}x x|jr|meo `t| |fd xjgd jel
delmeo me rjqd jel x`l`g}% Fd fjl j fjbm| `i
h`ydrmeo g} g`t|f |` gtiind |fd x`tel `i qjme% \fd
njx| |mgd |fj| M xjw Gtoo} jx j nm||nd omrn M wjx n}meo
me bdl me je tqx|jmrx bdlr``g `e G`ejrhf% M wmnn
edydr i`rod| |fd qjme deltrdl wfde fd xf`ydl fmx
de|mrd fjel jel imx| jx ijx| jel fjrl jx fd h`tnl me|`
g} |fde dndyde }djr `nl yjomej ndjymeo gd bjnndl
tq me qjme hr}meo g}xdni |` xnddq% \fdrd wjx e` `ed
ndi| |` |dnn |fj| M h`tnl |rtx| bdhjtxd wfde M lml M
wjx jnwj}x moe`rdl jel |`nl l`e| |jnc jb`t| |fmeox
nmcd |fmx% M jg fjqq} |fj| omrn xq`cd tq qt||meo fmx
|wmx|dl jxx jwj} j| ndjx| i`r j wfmnd bt| m| xf`tnl
fjyd bdde nmid me qrmx`e i`r wfj| Gtoo} lml |`
gd%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
21/126
Ijhmeo Ldg`ex `i j Hfmnl;
M x|jr|dl
f`gd bdhj
hjgd `ydr
orjelij|fd
fjl irmde
edmofb`rf
wjx j hj|h
n`edn} |mg
bdhjtxd
orjelg`|fdr wjx ldjl jel ljll} wj
jel lml e`| ndjyd |fd f`txd je}g`rd%
Kdxxmd lmdl g} g`|fdr dxhjnj|dl |fd q
mehntldl hjnnmeo gd ejgdx |` fm||m
`bkdh|x% Bdj|meox deldl tq fjqqdemeo m
irmdelx me |fd edmofb`rf``l% @e |`q
jel edondh| j| |fd fjelx `i g} g`|fijhdl wm|f bdmeo g`ndx|dl. rjqdl je
|ddejod b`}x me `tr edmofb`rf``l% N
jel btnnxfm| h`e|metdl te|mn M ldhmldl |
me|` g} `we fjelx% H`exmldrdl rdbd
|mgd M wjx |fmr|dde bdhjtxd m| wjx |fd
ldhmldl |` rte jwj} ir`g f`gd% @yd
x|j}meo j|
txd fd rjrdn}
|` g} ordj|
x f`txd% M
lx me |fd
`l bt| |fdrd
% \fmx wjx j
d me g} nmid
g} ordj|
od||meo `nl
i|dr G`ggj
tehfmeo |fj|
o gd wm|f
ir`e| `i g}
`i |fd jbtxd
r M wjx jnx`btnnmdl b}
|x `i lrjgj
|jcd g} nmid
nm`tx b} |fd
wfde M fjl
|fd }djrx. M
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
22/126
fjyd ndjredl |fmx h}hnd `i jbtxd mx e`|
ijgmnmdx% M hjee`| mgjomed wfj| je} or
xddx me j hfmnl% M h`tnl edydr teldr
qdrx`e hje xnddq e`| ce`wmeo mi |fdm
xjid% Bt| g`x| jnjrgmeo mx |fd ijh|
ce`w |fdmr hfmnlrde jrd bdmeo jbtxdl
`|fdr wj} i`r rdjx`ex `en} |fd} hje
g`|fdr x|mnn njtofx jel xgmndx me fm
e`|fmeo fjqqd
ydr} lj}%
Qdrx`ejnn}. M
wfj| o`dx jrbjhc |de'i`nl
l`ed me |fd lj
|` nmof|% M| wm
gj||dr `i |mgd
dvq`xdx |fd |
x`gd hjxdx qt
xfjgd% Xdhrd|x jrd rdydjndl Kjetjr} =.rdomx|drdl xdv `iideldrx }`t gj} ce`w
hje `en} mgjomed f`w `ed gtx| iddn
jb`t| |fd ld|jmnx `i j brt|jn fmx|`r} `i
hfmnl% Qdrx`ejnn}. M bdnmdyd |fd j||jhc
}djr `nl omrn h`tnl fjyd bdde qrdyde
xtee} xtggdrx lj} wfde M gd| g}
ejmn xjn`e b} |fd Ldngjr N``q }djrxfdl gde|m`edl x`gd|fmeo jb`t| G
eh`gg`e me
we jxx gje
|jel f`w j
r bjbmdx jrd
`gd qd`qnd
jel n``c |fd
jexwdr% G}
x ijhd jx mi
dl te|mn |fmx
l` bdnmdyd
tel h`gdxjel wfj| mx
c wmnn h`gd
n `en} bd j
di`rd cjrgj
rt|f jel me
|fd ldymn |`
21:: nmx|meoqdrx`ejnn}% M
ji|dr fdjrmeo
rjqd tq`e j
e |fd imi|dde
dl% M| wjx j
g`g j| |fd
nj|dr wfdetoo} jxcmeo
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
23/126
jb`t| gd% M |rmdl |` |dnn g} g`|fdr j
lml |` gd wfde M wjx j nm||nd omrn bt
h`eydrxj|m`e ht| ydr} xf`r| jx wd wde|wj}x% Edydr `ehd lml g} g`|fdr h`e
|r} |` n``c me|` |fd gj||dr ktx| nm
h`ggdel |fd nm||nd omrn |fj| xq`cd
qjrde|x wf` |``c jh|m`e |` xdd |`
g`ex|dr hjodl x|`qqmeo fmg ir`g l
nmid `i je`|fdr nm||nd omrn%
M wmnn edydr i`rod| f`w g} ymromem|
wfde M wjx j nm||nd omrn b} Gtoo} |fd
|` x`hmd|} h`eymh|dl `i x`l`g} `e je`
M wmnn fjyd g} ktx|mhd jel hn`xtrd me |f
X|rmqqdl `iMee`hdehd
`t| wfj| fd
M rdhjnn `tr
`tr xdqjrj|dr`e| `r dyde
d jnwj}x% M
tq jel |fd
m| |fj| |fmx
x|r`}meo |fd
wjx x|`nde
jgd gdejhd
fdr hfmnl bt|
del%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
24/126
Fdnn `e djr|f h`e|met
omrn
Hrj{} Hjrl H`ydr Tq
G}
o``l
jr`tel
hjrl n
gj||dr
jnwj}x
ldidexd |` h`ydr tq |fd |rt|f jel j |j
bdde txdl jnn `i g} nmid |` od| gd |` x
wfj| wjx rdjnn} o`meo `e% G} g`|f
h`eymh|dl xdv `iideldr `ydr fdr `we
njtofmeo jel xgmnmeo me |fd ijhd `i j
rjqdl |fd dndyde }djr nm||nd omrn M tx
ztdx|m`ex jxcdl%
\fd hrj{} hjrl njbdn hjgd ir`g j h
fdjl. bjhcdl b} j h`eymh|dl rdomx|drdl
H@YDR TQ
l i`r j nm||nd
`|fdr wjx
`r |fr`wmeo
|fd hrj{}
bdn% Jx j
`i ijh| m| wjx
|fd imrx|
h|mh |fj| fjl
ft| tq jb`t|
r bdnmdydl j
jtof|dr x|mnn
`ex|dr wf`
d |` bd% E`
r|mimdl hrjhc
xdv `iideldr
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
25/126
jel `|fdrx wf` bdnmdyd wfj|dydr |fd} fjyd fdjrl%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
26/126
F`wdydr. e` g
qdrhdmydl |fd |r
h`ehdjndl dvq`
rdxq`exmbnd i`r
|fdrjq} wjx dy
|fd imrx| qnjhd%
|fj| M txd |` bd i`tof| fdr wj} `t|
ijgmn} l}xiteh|m`e jel xdhrd|x |fj| f
bdde o`meo `e i`r odedrj|m`ex% Jx j nm|
dvqdh|dl |` deltrd ormdi. jbtxd. edon
rjqdx. rdxqdh| g} dnldrx. o` |` hftrhf.
l` wdnn me xhf``n% G} g`|fdr wjx
lmh|j|`r h`gqjrdl |` Jl`ni Fm|ndr bdh
hrtdn wm|f fdr wj} `i xmgqnd h`gg
txd fdr imx| |` od| j gdxxjod jhr`xx `
hfmnlrde% \fd |rjtgj |fj| M deltrdl jx
ijgmn}. jltn|x jel `nldr |ddex wjx e
je} gdjex% G} g`|fdr |rdj|dl gd nmc
wfde M wjx j nm||nd omrn jel nmydx me ldem
|fmx fjx dydr fjqqdedl te|mn |fmx yd
rtg`r |fj| xfd x|jr|dl h`e|metdx bdhjt
|fj| M jg bmq`njr wm|f xhfm{`qfrdemj b
hrj{} hjrl njbdn h`gmeo ji|dr |fdqjodx me |fmx b``c qtbnmxfdl `e'nmed
H@YDR TQ
||dr f`w m| mx
|f hjee`| bd
meo |fd `edx
wf} me|dexd
r eddldl me
fd nm||nd omrn
i j h}hnd `i
x jqqjrde|n}
nd omrn. M wjx
dh|. rdqdj|dl
rj} jel x|mnn
g`rd nmcd j
txd xfd wjx
temhj|m`e |`
i|de |` xgjnn
nm||nd omrn b}
| e`rgjn b}
d j cmhc bjnn
jn jx e`ed `i
r} lj}% \fd
d M fdjr e`w
meo |fd edw
dndjxd ir`gmehd Ktn}
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
27/126
21:1% G} g`|fdr edydr hjgd |` |fd f`xqm|jn `ehd
wfde M wjx xdyde|dde jel jlgm||dl i`r |fmr|} |frdd
lj}x% \fd l`h|`rx h`tnl fjyd |`nl fdr wf} M wjx
jh|meo `t| me ld|jmn bt| xfd cedw fdr jxx w`tnl fjyd
jnx` bdde o`meo |` kjmn mi xfdl xf`wdl tq bdhjtxd M
fjl `ydrfdjrl |fd etrxdx |jncmeo% G} g`|fdrx
hrjhc xg`cmeo lj}x injxfdl bjhc gdg`rmdx `i bdmeo
fteor} jel edjr ldj|f irdd{meo bdhjtxd |fd f`txd
xfd ndi| tx me lml e`| fjyd fdj| me |fd gmllnd `i j X|%
N`tmx wme|dr% Xfd wjx |`` btx} hfjxmeo fdr edv|
fmof jel w`tnl bdj| |fd fdnn `t| `i gd mi M lml e`|
omyd fdr g} fjrl djredl g`ed} ir`g w`rc |` bt}
lrtox% G} g`|fdr wjx j wdnijrd rdhmqmde| h`nndh|meo
i``l x|jgqx jel j hfdhc bt| edydr b`tof| i``l% M
rdhjnn fjymeo e`|fmeo g`rd |fje x|jnd h`re injcdx
wm|f e`|fmeo g`rd |` dj| x`gd|mgdx o`meo lj}x
wm|f`t| i``l bdhjtxd M fjl e` g`ed} `r `nl de`tof
|` od| j k`b% _fde M lml od| j k`b |` bt} g}xdni
i``l. hn`|fdx jel qdrx`ejn |fmeox g} g`|fdr wje|dl
|` |jcd m| jnn e`| dyde ndjymeo gd de`tof |` bt} j
btx qjxx |` od| |` jel ir`g w`rc wdnn `ydr |wde|}
bn`hcx jx M xjhrmimhdl jel wjncdl |fr`tof fmofdr
hrmgd jrdjx ktx| |`` dj|% M wjx |fmr|dde }djrx `nlwfde M wjncdl |` w`rc g`x| |mgdx me |fd irdd{meo
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
28/126
wme|dr wm|f e` h`j| i`r |fd ,8%:6 je f`tr hjxfmdrx
q`xm|m`e |fj| M fjl njeldl wm|f |fd irjehfmxd `wedr.
Mrj j Kdwmxf gje wf` qjml gd hjxf `e qj} lj} j|
Bjxcme ) R`bbmex me |fd Hde|rjn _dx| Del% M wjx
xhfdltndl rmof| ji|dr xhf``n j| |frdd `hn`hc jel
jnn`wdl |` bd nj|d bdhjtxd M wjx ce`we |` wjnc |`
w`rc% M jnwj}x deldl tq wjncmeo |` w`rc jel bjhc
f`gd ir`g Jeemd Gjn`ed Lrmyd |` Dthnml ji|dr
gmlemof|% Ji|dr w`rc M lml g} f`gdw`rc i`r
xhf``n jel `i|de |mgdx e`| od||meo je} xnddq bdhjtxd
M fjl |` bd `e g} btx x|`q b} 9;:1JG dydr} lj}% M
lrjec h`iidd |` |r} jel x|j} jwjcd bdhjtxd g}
xm|tj|m`e lml e`| jnn`w xnddq `i|de% M ojyd e`|mhd |`
ztm| ji|dr j xdjx`ejn k`b wjx `iidrdl me l`we|`we
X|% N`tmx Hde|dr Gjnn% B} jod i`tr|dde. M wjx
bdh`gmeo g`rd meldqdelde| me djremeo je f`edx|
nmymeo wfde M wjx `iidrdl j rd|jmn xjndx k`b j| |fd
Ojq me |fd X|% N`tmx Hde|dr% Ml gjejodl |` cddq
g} f`gd nmid qrmyj|d ir`g w`rc te|mn g} g`|fdr
ojyd gd j bnjhc d}d rmof| bdi`rd M wjx xhfdltndl |`
bd j| w`rc `e g} xdh`el k`b me |fd gjnn j|
Xhrmbbndx jel Omoondx% Bdi`rd |fd bnjhc d}d M hjgd
f`gd |` od| lrdxxdl i`r w`rc j| |fd gjnn% B} |fde. Mfjl j emed|dde }djr `nl lrto ldjndrojeo gdgbdr
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
29/126
b`}irmdel me E`r|f X|% N`tmx% Fmx ijgmn} qr`|dh|dl
gd ir`g g} n}meo hrjhc fdjl g`|fdr jel fdr q`nmhd
irmdelx% @ed xtggdrx lj} g} gjejodr e`|mhdl j
bnjhc d}d jel brtmxdx `e g} b`l}% M wjx
h`elm|m`edl b} |fde |` e`| |jnc jb`t| g} qrmyj|d nmid
bt| g} gjejodr mexmx|dl |fj| M |dnn fdr `r xfd w`tnl
hjnn |fd q`nmhd |` imel `t| wf} g} d}d wjx bnjhc% J|
|fj| |mgd M lml e`| wje| |` xdd g} g`|fdr o` |` kjmn
jel M i`tel g}xdni qr`|dh|meo fdr me x`gd wj}x% G}
gjejodr qr`gmxdl e`| |` hjnn q`nmhd mi M |`nl fdr
wf` hjtxdl |fd brtmxdx jel w`tnl omyd gd g`rd
f`trx `e |fd xhfdltnd x` |fj| M h`tnl djre g`rd
g`ed} |` xtqq`r| g}xdni mi M w`tnl ktx| |dnn fdr wf`
fjl hjtxdl |fd ymxmbnd mektrmdx |` g} b`l}% G}
gjejodr |``c gd me|` |fd bjhc `iimhd jel hn`xdl |fd
l``r i`r wfj| xddgdl nmcd |dnnmeo x`gd`ed jb`t|
g} nmid `e |fd hn`hc bdhjtxd M wjx orje|dl xqdhmjn
qrmymndodx |fdrdji|dr mehntlmeo `iidrx |` bdh`gd j
gjnn xjndx jxx`hmj|dhjxfmdr in`j|dr |` imnn me i`r `|fdr
rd|jmn x|`rdx me b`|f X|% N`tmx Hde|dr jel E`r|fwdx|
Qnj{j jel qjml i`r m|% G} gjejodr fjl xfjrdl
de`tof mei`rgj|m`e jb`t| gd |` `|fdr gjeodrx |`
fmrd gd qjr|'|mgd jel `e hjnn mi x`gd`ed lml e`|xf`w tq i`r w`rc |` od| gd `t| `i g} jbtxmyd f`gd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
30/126
jx `i|de jx q`xxmbnd me |frdd gjnnx mehntlmeo X|%
N`tmx Hde|dr. E`r|fwdx| Qnj{j jel Ojnndrmj gjnn
`t|xmld `i |fd hm|} nmgm|x% Jhh`rlmeo |` ydrmimdl
l`htgde|x ir`g |fd &MRX- Me|drejn Rdydetd M wjx
i`tr|dde }djrx `nl |fd imrx| |mgd |fj| M fjl imndl
|jvdx% M wde| `e |` w`rc jel bd qr`g`|dl |fr`tof
|fd gdjex `i |dgq`rjr} dgqn`}gde| gd|f`lx
h`gbmedl wm|f qjr|'|mgd k`bx `iidrdl me |frdd gjnnx
qr`ymldl b} xdydrjn gjejodrx wf` cedw jb`t| g}
f`gd nmid% G} `we |rjydn dvqdexdx wdrd h`ydrdl
`t| `i g} hfdhc b} qtbnmh |rjexq`r|j|m`e jel rmldx
qr`ymldl b} x`gd gjeodrx ir`g x|`rdx% M wjx fmrdl
jx j fdjl hjxfmdrin`j|dr i`r Hfjgqx Xq`r|x.
I``|n`hcdr. Njl} I``|n`hcdr. Cmlx I``|n`hcdr jel
Hfjgqx Xq`r|x% M wjx qr`g`|dl b} 4'?'= x|`rdx jel
_mnl Qjmr i`r g} imrx| de|r} ndydn gjejodgde|
q`xm|m`ex |rtx|dl wm|f x|`rd `qdrj|m`ex jel h`gqje}
bjec ldq`xm|x% @en} `ed `i g} gjeodrx dydr
jqqr`jhfdl gd me je mejqqr`qrmj|d wj} bt| |fj| wjx
xd||ndl ztmhcn} bdhjtxd M fjl hf`mhdx |` ztm| j k`b
jel x|mnn fjyd je`|fdr wjm|meo% Ji|dr w`rc x`gd
gjejodrx |``c gd f`gd jel `e `ed `hhjxm`e xde|
je`|fdr xjndx jxx`hmj|d |` qmhc gd tq ir`g f`gdjel brmeo gd |` w`rc bdhjtxd M fjl e` g`ed} |`
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
31/126
|jcd j btx% M n`ydl o`meo |` w`rc jel rdnmdydl |fj|
Ldbrj |`nl gd f`w |` od| j w`rc qdrgm| ir`g
xhf``n x` |fj| |fd} h`tnl h`e|metd |` cddq gd `e
xhfdltnd wfmnd teldr jod% Ldbrj lml e`| xddg jeor}
wfde M |`nl fdr f`w M i`rodl j bmr|f hdr|mimhj|d jel
ojyd gd jlymhd deh`trjomeo gd |` qtrhfjxd `i g}
imrx| cd} n`hc lmjr} |` wrm|d l`we wfj| wjx
fjqqdemeo |` gd j| f`gd jel wfj| |` l` |` w`rc
ndojnn} w`rc teldr jod% \fd lmjr} fjl j bnjhc jel
wfm|d h`ydr wm|f j n`hc jel cd} i`r qr`|dh|m`e ir`g
me|rtlmeo d}dx% M w`tnl fjyd o`||de j bdj| l`we i`r
xtrd mi g} g`|fdr w`tnl fjyd i`tel g} imrx| lmjr}%
F`wdydr. |fd lmjr} h`e|jmedl g} meedr |f`tof|x
ldxhrmbdl me ld|jmn mehntlmeo xdhrd|x% \fd h`gqnd|d
lmjr} wjx omyde |` g} imrx| b`}irmdel Xemqdx wfdrd
m| wjx qnjhdl me|` j n`hcdl b`v teldr j bdl me |fd
bjxdgde| `i j njrod f`txd `e K`fe me X|% N`tmx%
HFMNL G@NDX\DRX @E JNLMED
I`r x`gd rdjx`e
|ddejod b`}x gjld
m| j fjbm| |` xdvtjnn}qtrxtd nm||nd omrnx
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
32/126
gthf }`teodr% Fd nmydl lmrdh|n} jhr`xx |fd x|rdd|
ir`g |fd dndgde|jr} xhf``n jel jnwj}x gjld m| j
fjbm| |` xm| `t| `e |fd ir`e| q`rhf wfde g} xhf``n
btx lr`qqdl tx `ii j| K`fe Gjrxfjnn Dndgde|jr}
Xhf``n% B} |fde M wjx jhhdq|dl me|` |fd Qjrcwj}
Xhf``n Lmx|rmh| jel btxxdl ir`g |fd hm|} |` Bjnnwme.
Gmxx`trm% G} hfmnlf``l irmdel deldl tq h`ehdmymeo
j hfmnl wm|f fmg wfde xfd wjx |fmr|dde }djrx `nl%
Fd x|jr|dl |` g`yd |fr`tof |fd nm||nd omrnx me `tr
edmofb`rf``l nmcd hfjeomeo teldrwdjr bdi`rd fd
wjx dyde|tjnn} h`eymh|dl i`r |`thfmeo |fd wr`eo
omrn% G} irmdel jel M idnn `t| jel xfd wjx xde| |`
nmyd x`gdwfdrd me |fd X`t|f i`r j idw }djrx% I`r j
wfmnd bjl bn``l rdgjmedl bd|wdde tx te|mn wd
x|jr|dl |` xqdjc jojme dyde|tjnn}% Gje} }djrx nj|dr
`tr irmdelxfmq fjx h`gqnd|dn} deldl jel |fd nm||nd
omrn |fj| wjx h`ehdmydl b} j hfmnl g`ndx|dr mx e`w j
or`we w`gje nmymeo me |fd Gmlwdx|% Fd w`tnl
xedjc gd me|` |fd bjxdgde| j| fmx orjelg`|fdrx
f`txd bdi`rd fjymeo xdv wm|f g} |fde |wdnyd }djr
`nl b`l}% _fde M |fmec bjhc |` g} qjx| M hje `en}
w`eldr |rtn} wfj| rtex |fr`tof |fd gmel `i gde
wf` xddc `t| nm||nd omrnx i`r meldhde| jh|x% M fjyd e`rdxqdh| i`r qdl`qfmndx. g`ndx|drx. rjqmx| `r qd`qnd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
33/126
wf` jbtxd hfmnlrde me je}wj}% \jncmeo |` g}
g`|fdr jb`t| je}|fmeo rdojrlmeo g} nmid wjx nmcd
|jncmeo |` j hje `i qjme| wfde M wjx j nm||nd omrn% Jx
je jltn| g} g`|fdr |`nl gd mi xfd fjl |` l` m| jnn
`ydr jojme xfd w`tnl e`| hfjeod f`w xfd |rdj|dl
gd jx fdr hfmnl jel xfd fjx jnrdjl} dx|jbnmxfdl |fj|
M jg jnrdjl} ldjl |` fdr% M xdd g} g`|fdr e`
lmiidrde| |fje M xdd |fd rjqmx| jel g`ndx|drx wf` jnn
qnj}dl gjk`r r`ndx jx |fd g`ex|drx `i g} hfmnlf``l%
X|mnn |`lj} |fdrd mx ldemjn jel |fd `nl |jh|mh `i
|fr`wmeo jr`tel |fd hrj{} hjrl njbdn wm|f f`qdx |fmx
wmnn jnn xmgqn} o` jwj}% F`wdydr. me |fmx hjxd |fdrd
mx |fd btrlde `i |rt|f jel M wmnn e`| x|`q rdqdj|meo
wfj| fjqqdedl |` gd jx j hfmnl wm|f f`qdx xqdjcmeo
tq wmnn x|`q |fmx ymhm`tx h}hnd i`r it|trd
odedrj|m`ex%
Ojeo Rjqd ) Cjrgj Injxf Bjhc
Gde gj} e`| od| jnn |fd} qj} i`r me |fmx w`rnl3 bt| |fd} gtx|
hdr|jmen} qj} i`r jnn |fd} od|%
'Irdldrmhc L`tonjx
Ldjr Cjrgj;
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
34/126
B} jo
wjx l
n`w xdn
iddnmeo
q`wdrn
|fd ymh
rjqdx jel g`ndx|j|m`e bdhjtxd |fd `
jnrdjl} cedw g} g`|fdr w`tnl e`| h
F`wdydr. }`t xf`tnl ce`w jb`t| j
|ddejod b`}x qnj}dl me `tr edmofb
`bkdh| `i |fd ojgd wjx |` oj|fdr jx
gjnd irmdelx jx q`xxmbnd% \fde |fd}
`ed }`teo omrn jel meym|d fdr |` j qjr
b} |fd |mgd |fd omrn imotrdx `t| |fj| xfd
tq m| wmnn bd |`` nj|d jel xfd wmnn bd
rjqdl% _fde M i`tof| bjhc Ldrrmhc |
g} jrg jel |frdj|dedl gd mi M lml e`
imyd n`eo f`trx M wjx rdx|rjmedl. oje
|`r|trdl me ymhm`tx wj}x mehntl
qded|rj|m`e |fj| ndi| g} yjomej jel
bjln} rmqqdl |fj| M wjx xw`nnde jel
lj}x ji|dr |fd j||jhc% G} g`|fdr i`t
|fd j||jhc |fr`tof j x`hmjn w`rcdr x`jel jxcdl gd wf} M lml e`| |dnn fdr wf
|fmr|dde. M
gjodl wm|f
i'dx|ddg jel
x `i bdmeo
dxx |` x|`q
m`tx h}hnd `i
edx l`meo m|
eir`e| |fdg%
ojgd x`gd
rf``l% \fd
je} `i |fdmr
w`tnl xdndh|
}% F`wdydr.
fjl bdde xd|
rt|jnn} ojeo
mdl |` brdjc
xtbgm|% I`r
o rjqdl jel
meo l`tbnd
bt||`hcx x`
bnddlmeo i`r
l `t| jb`t|
d }djrx nj|drj| fjqqdedl0
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
35/126
Xfd cedw wf} M lml e`| h`gd |` fdr bdhjtxd xfd
cedw xfd w`tnl l` e`|fmeo ktx| nmcd jnwj}x% Ji|dr
|fd ojeo rjqd |fd} brjoodl jb`t| m| |` `|fdr cmlx me
|fd edmofb`rf``l j||dgq|meo |` rtme g} rdqt|j|m`e%
F`wdydr. M wjx |fd wr`eo `ed me |fd del jel jnn `i
|fdg deldl tq qdrx`ejnn} jq`n`om{meo |` gd xdydrjn
}djrx ji|dr |fd j||jhc% \fd rjq `hhtrrdl j| j f`txd
`e Gjr|me Nt|fdr Cmeo Lrmyd me E`r|f X|% N`tmx
Hm|}% _f} lml jnn |frdd j||jhcdrx h`gd bjhc |` gd
}djrx nj|dr |` jq`n`om{d i`r |fd imyd f`trx `i rjqd
jel brt|jnm|} deltrdl0
_fmhf `ed deldl tq ldjl me |fd del0
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
36/126
Cjrgj mx j bm|hf% Edw`cj NjXfdnnd Bjcdr
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
37/126
\fdrjq} wjx eddldl |` ndjre f`w |`
ijh|x `i g} nmid ir`g g} qjx| x` |fj|
|fd nm||nd omrn M txd |` bd qdjhd jel xdr
w`gje |fj| M fjyd bdh`gd hn`xtrd%
qtrq`xd `i |fmx gdg`mr wjx m
deh`trjodl b} |fd n`yd M fjyd i`r g} i
lmx|jehd |` |jcd j hn`xdr n``c jel bdom
`i brdjcmeo |fd h}hnd `i xdvtjn jbtxd h
odedrj|m`ex |fj| x|mnn dvmx|x |`lj}% M w`
|fmx cmel `i qjme tq`e g} w`rx| ded
bdnmdyd me |jcmeo rdxq`exmbmnm|mdx i`r g
xqdjcmeo g} |rt|f ir`g dvqdrmdehd%
`qd wm|f |fd
M h`tnl omyd
em|} jel |fd
\fd lmymed
xqmrdl jel
jgmn} ir`g j
|fd qr`hdxx
dj|dl b} `nl
tnl e`| wmxf
g} bt| M l`
jh|m`ex jel
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
38/126
\fmec bjhc |` |fd hfmnl
}`t txd |` bd jel
mgjomed }`trxdni me g}
xf`dx i`r ktx| j g`gde|%
_fj| w`tnl }`t l` mi }`t wdrd jbjel`edl b} b`|f
qjrde|x. jbtxdl. edondh|dl. g`ndx|dl. rjqdl.
dvqdh|dl |` l` wdnn me xhf``n. rdxqdh| |fd dnldrx. o`
|` hftrhf. qrj}. jel xmndehdl b} jltn|x jb`t| bdmeo
xdvtjnn} g`ndx|dl moe`rmeo }`tr rdztdx| i`r fdnq |`
x|`q m|0 Moe`rmeo |fd qr`bndg wmnn e`| gjcd m| o`
jwj}% \dnnmeo |fd w`rnl jb`t| wfj| fjqqdedl |` gd
mx dgbjrrjxxmeo |` q`me| `t| jel ejgd |fd g`ex|drx
|fj| jbtxdl. g`ndx|dl jel rjqdl gd me djrn}
hfmnlf``l% Jx je jltn|. M l` e`| |rtx| je}`ed i`r
hn`xd qdrx`ejn rdnj|m`exfmqx bdhjtxd |fd xmld diidh|
`i |fmx cmel `i jbtxd xdrm`txn} hfjeodl g} qdrx`ejn
`t|n``c jel qdrxqdh|myd `e nmid% Qdrx`ejnn}. M l` iddn
x`rr} i`r |f`xd wf` qnj}dl j gjk`r r`nd me |fmx
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
39/126
gdg`mr bdhjtxd jx n`eo jx }`t nmyd me
wmnn bd e` qdjhd `r hn`xtrd i`r }`tr `w
Ldjr Cjrgj;
G} g`|fdr fjx
fjbm| |` dvhtxdb} |dnnmeo qd`qn
gde|jnn} mnn nmc
Jh|tjnn}. je}`ed
rjqd me g} ijgm
hrj{}% \fmx `qde
`|fdrx wf` wj
ejx|} |fmeox |`omrn mehntlmeo
bm`n`omhjn g`|f
xcmnndl j| h`ydrm
jbtxd wm|f |fd
|jh|mh%
Fd wjx j h`txme. j qrdjhfdr jel gde|m
|`nl je}`ed fd w`tnl |dnn qd`qnd M
bdhjtxd g} g`|fdr |`nl fmg |fj|% Fd
kjmn i`r xf``|meo x`gd`ed jel M fjl |`
ijgmn} brmdin} me X`t|f X|% N`tmx% M
bdi`rd fd h`tnl |`thf gd bdhjtxd fd
|`nl gd wfj| fmx me|de|m`ex wdrd%
]`t xf`tnl ce`w |fj| |fdrd mx j| ndjx|
|fd ijgmn} wf` fjx j||dgq|dl jel ij
ldemjn |fdrd
wdnn bdmeo%
gjld m| j
g} bdfjym`rd |fj| M jg
g} ij|fdr%
wf` hnjmgx
n} mx njbdndl
dl l``rx i`r
e|dl |` l`
d jx j nm||ndg} `we
r wf` wjx
eo tq hfmnl
mh|mg bnjgd
edl mi M dydr
wjx bmq`njr
fjl bdde |`
nmyd wm|f fmx
g`ydl `t|
fjl jnrdjl}
ed idgjnd me
ndl jel }`t
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
40/126
|f`tof| }`t cedw% Ejx|} bjx|jrlx l` dvmx| jel |fd}
ce`w wf` |fd} jrd wm|f`t| xj}meo ejgdx bdhjtxd
|fdrd jrd e` xdhrd|x me |fmx b``c%
QNDJXD DVHTXD ]@TR MOE@RJEHD
G} g`|fdr rdhde|n} wr`|d |` gd me j gdxxjod `e
ijhd b``c |fj| xfd w`tnl e`| |`thf gd `r g} q``r
tei`r|tej|d cmlx bdhjtxd xfd fjx jnwj}x bdnmdydl
|fj| M fjl j lmxdjxd% Xfd wde| `e |` wrm|d |fj| xfd
bdnmdydx M wjx e`| rjqdl jel m| wjx h`exdextjn% \fd
qr`bndg |fj| M fjyd wm|f |fmx o`dx bjhc |` `tr
ijgmn} fmx|`r}% G} g`|fdr jnn`wdl gd |` bd
g`ndx|dl jel rjqdl djhf |mgd M |`nl fdr jel xfd lml
e`|fmeo bt| bnjgd gd% M teldrx|jel |fj| M fjyd
edydr bdde n`ydl b} g} g`|fdr% M hje jhhdq| |fj|bdhjtxd |fj| mx bd|wdde g} g`|fdr jel fdr O`l%
\fd ijhd b``c lrjgj h`e|metdl wm|f gdxxjodx j
bm|hf wr`|d me rdxq`exd |` ldidelmeo jnndoj|m`ex
jb`t| |fdmr qrdhm`tx Gtoo}. j rdomx|drdl h`eymh|dl
xdv `iideldr `e j hfmnl% \fd rdxq`exd gdxxjod wde|x|rjmof| i`r |fd hrj{} hjrl njbdn |fj| fjx bdh`gd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
41/126
|fd imrx| ldidexd |fj| e` n`eodr w`rc
ir`g xqdjcmeo |fd |rt|f% ]`tr br`|
qrdhm`tx dndyde }djr `nl ymromem|} w
nm||nd omrn rdojrlndxx |` wfj| }`t |
]`tr xmhc |wmx|dl br`|fdr g`ndx|dl
x`l`gm{dl |fd dndyde }djr `nl omrn M tx
wmnn e`| bd xmndehdl%
Hrj{} Hjrl H`ydr Tq
G}
o``l
jr`tel
hjrl ngj||dr
jnwj}x
ldidex
|fd |r
|jh|mh |fj| fjl bdde txdl jnn `i g} nmid
xft| tq jb`t| wfj| wjx rdjnn} o`meo `
bdnmdydl j h`eymh|dl xdv `iideldr `
ljtof|dr x|mnn njtofmeo jel xgmnmeo me
H@YDR TQH@YDR TQ
|` x|`q gd
dr x|`nd g}
de M wjx j
mec `i fmg%
. rjqdl jel
d |` bd jel M
`|fdr wjx
`r |fr`wmeo
|fd hrj{}
bdn% Jx j`i ijh| m| mx
|fd imrx|
|` h`ydr tq
t|f jel j
|` od| gd |`
% G} g`|fdr
dr fdr `we
|fd ijhd `i j
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
42/126
g`ex|dr |fj| x|`nd g} ymromem|} jel rjqdl |fd dndyde
}djr `nl omrn M txd |` bd. e` ztdx|m`ex jxcdl% \fd
hrj{} hjrl njbdn hjgd ir`g j hdr|mimdl hrjhc fdjl.bjhcdl b} j h`eymh|dl xdv `iideldr jel `|fdrx wf`
bdnmdyd wfj|dydr |fd} fjyd fdjrl% F`wdydr. e`
gj||dr f`w m| mx qdrhdmydl |fd |rt|f hjee`| bd
h`ehdjndl dvq`xmeo |fd `edx rdxq`exmbnd i`r wf}
me|dexd |fdrjq} wjx dydr eddldl me |fd imrx| qnjhd%
\fd nm||nd omrn |fj| M txd |` bd i`tof| fdr wj} `t| `i
j h}hnd `i ijgmn} l}xiteh|m`e jel xdhrd|x |fj| fjx
jqqjrde|n} bdde o`meo `e i`r odedrj|m`ex% Jx j nm||nd
omrn. M wjx dvqdh|dl |` deltrd ormdi. jbtxd. edondh|.
rdqdj|dl rjqdx jel x|mnn l` wdnn me xhf``n% G}
g`|fdr wjx g`rd nmcd j lmh|j|`r h`gqjrdl |` Fm|ndr
bdhjtxd xfd wjx hrtdn wm|f fdr wj} `i xmgqnd
h`ggtemhj|m`e |` txd fdr imx| |` od| j gdxxjodjhr`xx `i|de% G} g`|fdrx hrjhc xg`cmeo lj}x
brmeox bjhc gdg`rmdx `i bdmeo fteor} jel h`nl
bdhjtxd |fd f`txd xfd ndi| tx me lml e`| fjyd fdj| me
|fd gmllnd `i X|% N`tmx wme|dr% Xfd wjx |`` btx}
hfjxmeo fdr edv| fmof jel w`tnl bdj| |fd fdnn `t| `i
gd mi M lml e`| omyd fdr g} fjrl djredl g`ed} ir`g
w`rc |` bt} lrtox% M cedw xfd wjx j wdnijrdrdhmqmde| h`nndh|meo i``l x|jgqx jel j hfdhc bt|
edydr b`tof| i``l% M rdhjnn fjymeo e`|fmeo g`rd
|fje x|jnd h`re injcdx wm|f e`|fmeo g`rd |` dj|
x`gd|mgdx o`meo lj}x wm|f`t| i``l bdhjtxd M fjl
e` g`ed} `r `nl de`tof |` od| j k`b% _fde M lml od|
j k`b |` bt} g}xdni i``l. hn`|fdx jel qdrx`ejn
|fmeox g} g`|fdr wje|dl |` |jcd m| jnn e`| dydendjymeo gd de`tof i`r j btx qjxx |` od| |` jel ir`g
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
43/126
w`rc wdnn `ydr |wde|} bn`hcx% M wjncdl |` w`rc
g`x| |mgdx dyde me |fd irdd{meo wme|dr i`r |fd ,8%:6
je f`tr |fj| Bjxcme ) R`bbmex qr`ymldl me |fdHde|rjn _dx| Del rmof| ji|dr xhf``n% M jnwj}x deldl
tq wjncmeo bjhc f`gd ji|dr gmlemof| |` l`
f`gdw`rc i`r xhf``n jel `i|de |mgdx e`| od||meo
je} xnddq bdhjtxd M fjl |` bd `e g} btx x|`q b}
9;:1JG dydr} lj}% B} jod i`tr|dde M wjx
bdh`gmeo g`rd meldqdelde| me djremeo je f`edx|
nmymeo wfde M wjx `iidrdl j rd|jmn xjndx k`b j| |fd
Ojq me |fd X|% N`tmx Hde|dr% Ml gjejodl |` cddq
g} f`gd nmid qrmyj|d ir`g w`rc te|mn g} g`|fdr
ojyd gd j bnjhc d}d rmof| bdi`rd M wjx xhfdltndl |`
bd j| w`rc%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
44/126
X \ R J E O D F J E L X ' I N J X F B J H C
Hfdrmxf }`tr ymxm`ex jel }`tr lrdjgx jx |fd} jrd |fd hfmnlrde
`i }`tr x`tn. |fd bntdqrme|x `i }`tr tn|mgj|d jhfmdydgde|x% '
Ejq`nd`e Fmnn
Ldjr Cjrgj;
G} g`|fdr wjx wj|hfmeo
gd wjnc |` |fd btx x|`qir`g fdr ir`e| q`rhf |fj|
g`remeo% M xjw |w` gde
qtnn tq me j hjr jel `ed
gje ktgqdl `t| `i |fd hjr
jel |rmdl |` orjb gd% G}
g`|fdr wjx xhrdjgmeo i`r
gd |` rte jel xhjrdl |fd
|w` gde `ii% M x|jr|dl |` xcmq xhf``n dydr} lj} jel
wjncdl `ydr |` g} ordj| orjelij|fdrx f`txd% G}
g`|fdr edydr cedw |fj| M wjx ht||meo xhf``n
bdhjtxd |fd xhf``n edydr hjnndl fdr mi M lmle| xf`w
tq jel xfd x|`qqdl wj|hfmeo% M wjx jblth|dl b} j
x|rjeodr j }djr nj|dr wjncmeo |` xhf``n jel ndi| i`r
ldjl bd|wdde |w` yjhje| f`txdx `e Jnlmed X|rdd|%
M fjl |` bd `e g} btx x|`q j| 9;:1JG dydr}
g`remeo ndi| |` wjnc wdnn `ydr i`tr bn`hcx wfde m|
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
45/126
wjx x|mnn ljrc% J gje wjncmeo |`wjrlx gd me |fd
`qq`xm|d lmrdh|m`e wjm|dl ktx| te|mn fd qjxxdl gd
bdi`rd orjbbmeo gd jel lrjoomeo gd me|` j
ojeowj} `i |w` yjhje| f`txdx `e Jnlmed jhr`xx
ir`g Kted% \fd gje wjx bdj|meo gd me |fd fdjl
wm|f x`gd|fmeo fjrl jel |fd g`rd M i`tof| bjhc |fd
fjrldr fd w`tnl fm| gd jel x` M x|`qqdl imof|meo
jel qrd|deldl |` bd ldjl% M h`tnl iddn |fd wjrg
bn``l rteemeo l`we g} ijhd jel br`cde onjxx jel
ldbrmx ir`g |fd yjhje| f`txd teldr g} bjhc |r}meo
e`| |` gjcd j x`tel% M| wjx me |fd gmllnd `i j X|%
N`tmx wme|dr wfde g} hn`|fdx wdrd rdg`ydl jel M
njml |fdrd deltrmeo |fd qjme `i bdmeo rjqdl me
irdd{meo wdj|fdr jel jh|meo ldjl% B} |fde. g}
g`|fdr fjl g`ydl |` Jn|`e. Mnnme`mx wm|f g}
}`teodx| xmx|dr jel fdr edw ftxbjel ndjymeo gd me
X|% N`tmx `e g} `we b} jod i`tr|dde% G} g`|fdr
wjx |fd cmel `i w`gje wf` qt| gde bdi`rd fdr
hfmnlrde% Gde wf` lmle| omyd j ljge mi fdr cmlx
fjl j qnjhd |` nmyd. i``l |` dj| `r je}|fmeo dnxd i`r
|fj| gj||dr% M rdhjnn fjymeo j gjrrmdl x|dq ij|fdr
brmdin}% Fd wjx q`nmhd `iimhdr wf` wjx |rtn} cmel |`
g} g`|fdr jel fdr cmlx% F`wdydr. |fj| jnn x|`qqdlwfde fd fjl |` o` bjhc |` fmx wmid%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
46/126
Je}wj}. |fdrd mx j n`eo nmx| `i hfjrjh|drx |fj| fjyd
imnndl |fd |dgq`rjr} x|dq ljll} xf`dx% Me g}
`qmem`e''jnn wdrd j qmdhd `i xfm| i`r dyde bdmeo wm|f
j w`gje wf` jbtxdl fdr `we cmlx%
Xtojr Ljll} Injxf Bjhc
Edydr wmnn M i`rod| |fd lj} |fj| M wjx r`bbdl
h`gmeo f`gd ir`g w`rc% M wjx xdyde|dde }djrx `nl
jel rdhde|n} der`nndl me |fd X|% N`tmx K`b H`rqx
qr`orjg% \fd qr`orjg wjx o``l i`r gd bdhjtxd M
deldl tq g`ymeo `e |fd hjgqtx jwj} ir`g g}
jbtxmyd f`gd% M| wjx Hfrmx|gjx brdjc jel dydr}`ed
wde| f`gd i`r j h`tqnd `i wddcx% M fjl ktx| o`| j
edw k`b `iidr me |fd Xjme| N`tmx Ojnndrmj Gjnn jel
wjx dvhm|dl jb`t| x|jr|meo j edw k`b% F`wdydr. M
gjld m| |` g} imrx| lj} wm|f bjrdn} de`tof btx ijrd
|` od| bjhc f`gd% Edw |` |fd btx r`t|d Ml gjld j
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
47/126
gmx|jcd jel o`| `e |fd wr`eo btx wfmhf qt| gd
xdydrjn bn`hcx ir`g j rdnj|myd% \fd jrdj wjx e`| j
o``l `ed `ii Orjel bt| m| wjx x|mnn lj} nmof| jel M
lmle| fjyd j hf`mhd bt| |` wjnc |fr`tof |fd jrdj% M|
wjx ktx| x|jr|meo |` od| ljrc wfde M wjx iddnmeo nmcd
x`gd`ed wjx i`nn`wmeo gd% Jx x``e jx M |tredl |`
n``c bjhc M wjx fm| me |fd ijhd. idnn |` |fd or`tel
jel M h`tnl iddn |fd x|rjq `i g} qtrxd bdmeo
rdg`ydl ir`g g} xf`tnldr% J gje x|``l `ydr gd
jel hjngn} t||drdl |fd w`rl bm|hf bdi`rd rteemeo
`ii% Lj{dl jel h`eitxdl M x|``l tq jel |rmdl |`
wjnc ijnnmeo bjhc l`we |` |fd or`tel% M wjx fm| x`
fjrl |fj| g} i`htx wjx bntrrdl bt| Ml gjejodl |`
x|tgbnd me|` je `qde h`redr x|`rd% _fde M wjncdl me
htx|`gdrx jel |fd dgqn`}ddx hjgd `ydr |` gd wm|f
ordj| h`ehdre% \fdrd wjx bn``l jnn `ydr g} h`j| jel
M fjl j fjrl |mgd xqdjcmeo% M wjx rtxfdl |` |fd
f`xqm|jn jel |fj| wfde M wjx xf`we g} ijhd%
L`h|`rx jel q`nmhd bdnmdydl |fj| M wjx fm| wm|f brjxx
cethcndx% M fjl irjh|trdl b`edx me g} ijhd. j bnjhc
d}d jel g} g`t|f wjx x` xw`nnde |fj| M h`tnl e`|
xqdjc hndjrn}% L`h|`rx lmxhtxxdl q`xxmbnd qnjx|mh
xtrodr} |` imv g} ijhd jel jnn M h`tnl l` wjx hr}%Jnn `i |fmx i`r g} qtrxd |fj| `en} h`e|jmedl gjcd'
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
48/126
tq. j ztj
jel
mlde|mimhj|
gje wjx
i`r |fmx
cmhcdl `t
H`rqx Qr`orjg bdhjtxd Ml rditxdl |`
|fd ljgjod |fj| fjl bdde l`ed |` g
|mgd g} ijhd fdjndl ir`g g} mektrmd
qf}xmhjn xhjrx% M fjl bdde r`bbdl i`
Orjel Jyd% |fd dg`|m`ejn xhjrx ndi|
br`tof| jb`t| gje} emof|x hr}meo g
gje} }djrx nj|dr% M ztdx|m`edl g}xdn
jel x`tof| jexwdrx |` wfj| cmel `i
O`l |r}meo |` xdel% M x|jr|dl |` w`
rdjnn} mx j O`l wf` w`tnl jnn`w |fmx
|`r|trd% \fmx wjx j |mgd me g} nmid wfd
e`| fjyd je}`ed jel |fd ijh|x `i nmid w
ir`e| j nm||nd hjxf i`r i``l `r wfj|dydr
jlyje|jod `i w`gde jel omrnx l`we
Ji|dr |fd r`bbdr}. M w`eldrdl wf} M f
wjncmeo |jrod| i`r jxxjtn|x. rjqdx jel
b} b`|f cmlx jel jltn|x% M h`tnl e`| teg} nmid wjx btrldedl wm|f j hrjhc
|dr. j qdee}
} x|j|d
m`e% \fd
edydr hjtof|
rmgd% M wjx
| `i |fd K`b
o` bjhc wm|f
} ijhd% @ydr
x ndjymeo e`
e`|fmeo `ii
bdfmel x|mnn
xdni |` xnddq
gje} |mgdx
dxxjod wjx
ldr mi |fdrd
mel `i ljmn}
e M rdjnn} lml
drd gde wf`
mnn jnx` |jcd
e |fdmr nthc%
jl bdh`gd j
`|fdr j||jhcx
drx|jel wf}fdjl i`r j
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
49/126
g`|fdr jel dydr}|fmeo dnxd |fj| hjgd wm|f m|%
Ldxqm|d g} hmrhtgx|jehdx M fjl e` hf`mhd bt| |`
h`e|metd |` |r} w`rcmeo jel rd|tre bjhc |` xhf``n% M
i`tel x|rdeo|f jel ijm|f me ljll}x w`rlx `i|de me
g} ljrcdx| f`tr%
B} |fde. M wjx `t| `i gjhd jel M cedw m| wjx `en} j
gj||dr `i |mgd bdi`rd x`gd`ed dnxd w`tnl h`gd
ji|dr gd% \fd jrdj wd nmydl me fjl bdh`gd j fmof
hrmgd jrdj jel x` lml |fd xtrr`telmeo
edmofb`rf``lx% E` qnjhd wjx xjid jel M lmle| fjyd
j hf`mhd bt| |jcd g} hfjehdx |` od| bjhc `t| |fdrd
`e j btx |` od| |` w`rc x` |fj| M h`tnl djre g`ed}
i`r i``l jel qdrx`ejn m|dgx% Mex|djl. M o`| j
bjb}xm||meo k`b |fj| jnn`wdl |rjexq`r|j|m`e |` jel
ir`g |fd ldxmoej|dl n`hj|m`e `ii Orjel% \fd f`txd
wjx jnwj}x j gdxx jel M w`tnl hndje jel bjb}xm|
wm|f f`qdx |` mgqrdxx bt| e`| me j wj} |fj| w`tnl
ndjl |` g`rd mxxtdx `i xdvtjn jbtxd `r ldhdq|m`e%
G} imrx| me|de|m`ex wdrd edydr |` ijnn me|` |fd edw
gdxx} lrjgj |fj| wjx jb`t| |` tei`nl bdi`rd
rdjhfmeo |fd jod `i dmof|dde% Qdrx`ejnn}. injxfmeo
bjhc |` j |jnc |fj| M fjl wm|f g} jte| X}nymj
rdojrlmeo |fd rtndx `i gde jel lj|meo% \fd nmid |jnc|fj| wd fjl wfde M wjx j nm||nd omrn dvqnjmedl |` gd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
50/126
lj|meo x`gd`ed wf` nmcdl `r lj|dl j ijgmn}
gdgbdr `r hn`xd irmdel wjx h`exmldrdl |jb``%
Dm|fdr wj} bdi`rd |fmx edv| xtojr ljll} xhded |``c
qnjhd M i`tel g}xdni imof|meo |w` or`we w`gje j|
|fd xjgd |mgd `ed ji|dr e``e j| g} ordj|
orjelij|fdrx f`txd nj|dr xjml terdnj|dl b} X|mec
jel |fd wf`nd bjnn ojgd hfjeodl%
\fdrd wjx j lmiidrde|
cmel `i qrdlj|`r wm|f
fmx d}dx `e gd%
X`gd`ed terdnj|dl
jel gthf `nldr gjld
fmx g`yd b} ojmemeo
g} |rtx| `ydr |fd }djrx% M fjl bdde xmeond i`r j idw
}djrx ji|dr g} n`eo'|mgd b`}irmdel br`cd tq wm|f
gd i`r `ed `i g} hnjxxgj|dx% G} fdjr| wjx br`cde
jel M i`tel g}xdni n`edn} g`x| |mgdx% \fmx gje wjx
ydr} fjelx`gd jel gthf `nldr jel hndjrn} `ii
nmgm|x teldr |fd hmrhtgx|jehdx% Injxfmeo bjhc |` |fd
imrx| |mgd fd jqqr`jhfdl gd me j xdvtjn gjeedr% M|
wjx h`nl `t|xmld jel fd wjx jxcdl |` |jcd gd f`gd
b} g} jte| ji|dr j emof| `i bjb}xm||meo% Fd fjledydr jqqr`jhfdl gd bdi`rd te|mn |fj| emof|% Fmx
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
51/126
h`eydrxj|m`e ndl tq |` j xdvtjn ej|trd bdi`rd fd
ldhmldl m| wjx j o``l mldj |` rdg`yd fmx qdemx ir`g
fmx qje|x% M rdhjnndl iddnmeo fmofn} teh`gi`r|jbnd
|fd imrx| |mgd |fj| fd jqqr`jhfdl gd jel lml e`|
rdhmqr`hj|d gt|tjn iddnmeox e`r lml M |dnn je}`ed
bdhjtxd b} |fde M wjx h`elm|m`edl |` e`| |jnc jb`t|
|fmeox nmcd |fmx% M gjld g`ed} bjb}xm||meo jel
i`tel g}xdni me je`|fdr bjl qnjhd% Mi M xjml je}|fmeo
jb`t| m| M h`tnl n`xd |fd `en} x`trhd `i meh`gd M fjl
j| |fd |mgd |` xmgqn} dj| x`gd emof|x% \fj| emof|
e`|fmeo fjqqdedl jel fd lml e`| i`rhd fmgxdni `e
gd nmcd M wjx txd |`` mex|djl fd jq`n`om{dl |``c gd
f`gd jel lml e`| gde|m`e m| jojme te|mn g`e|fx
nj|dr% F`wdydr. `ed dydemeo ji|dr w`rc M deldl tq
xqdelmeo |fd emof| j| fmx ijgmn} f`gd% M fjl xqde|
|fd emof| |fdrd gje} |mgdx `ydr |fd }djrx jel
e`|fmeo dydr fjqqdedl% M xndq| me fmx otdx| r``g |fj|
emof| `en} |` bd jwjcdedl b} mejqqr`qrmj|d xdvtjn
jh|x fd bdoje |` qdri`rgmeo `e gd% M deldl tq me j
fdnn `i j gdxx} xdhrd| rdnj|m`exfmq |fj| njx|dl wdnn
`ydr |w` }djrx% Fd me|r`lthdl gd |` wfj| fd hjnndl
je `rjn jnqfjbd| |dhfemztd jel g} ydr} imrx|
dvqdrmdehd |` rdhdmyd `rjn xdv ir`g je}`ed j| |fd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
52/126
|mgd bdnmdymeo j qdrx`e gtx| n`yd }`t jel
h`eymehdl |fmx wjx f`w n`yd wjx xf`we%
Jnn M cedw tq te|mn |fj| emof| wjx f`w ymhm`tx jel
qjmeitn me|drh`trxd fjl bdde ir`g g} qjx| mxxtdx%
Fmx fjbm|x wdrd |` h`gd me|` |fd r``g wfde g}
jte| ndi| me |fd djrn} g`remeo f`trx ndjymeo tx jn`ed
`e xdydrjn `hhjxm`ex jwjcdedl gd b} jnwj}x
qdri`rgmeo `rjn xdv bdi`rd qded|rj|m`e%
Nmid xddgdl j nm||nd bd||dr
wfde M fjl x`gd`ed M
h`tnl hjnn wf` xddgdl |`
fjyd g} bdx| me|drdx| j|
fdjr|% F`wdydr. M wjx
medvqdrmdehdl jel h`eitxdl
jb`t| wfj| |rtd n`yd wjx
rdjnn} jb`t| bdhjtxd M fjl
ndjredl jb`t| xdv |fr`tof
i`rhd bt| |fmx `nl gjex jqqr`jhf xddgdl lmiidrde|
jel j| |fd |mgd |rt|fitn wm|f f`edx| me|de|m`ex% Fd
qr`ymldl gd wm|f j qjodr qjml i`r b} |fd Rm|{
Hjrn|`e qr`ymlmeo xdrymhd i`r wdnn `ydr j }djr% Fd
|`nl gd jb`t| fmx qnjex |` x|jod je jhhmlde| `e fmx k`b |` ijnn l`we |fd x|jmrx jel xtd i`r fmx mektrmdx%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
53/126
\fd jlyje|jod `i w`rcmeo |fd f`|dn
fmg brjoomeo f`w fd fjl jhhdxx
hj|hfmeo fmx jhhmlde| `e ymld`% F`w
cedw f`w m| |tredl `t| bdhjtxd dyde|t
tq ndjymeo fmx k`b wfdrd fd jnn`wdl
|jnc |` fmg `i|de% Fd |``c hjrd `i gd
bdome wm|f nm||nd |fmeox nmcd i``l `r x
`i hjxf% G`x| |mgdx. M lml e`| fjyd |` h
btx jel rmxc je`|fdr x|rjeodr j||jhc
jyjmnjbnd i`r j rmld% @tr rdnj|m`exfmq
xdhrd| ndjymeo `|fdrx |` `en} xqdhtnj|d
ijr jx me|r`lthmeo gd |` xdndh| gd
ijgmn} wm|f qr`gmxdx fd w`tnl gjrr}
M wjx dmof|dde }djrx `nl% F`wdydr.
edydr fjqqdedl jel M i`tel `t| M wjx
w`gde me fmx nmid moe`rmeo |fd ld
j||jhfdl |` fmx qrmyj|d jrdj%
Fd nj|dr jlgm||dl
jllmh|dl |` xdv je
yjrmd|} `i w`gde
xdndh|dl% M wjx
fmg% @ed g`remeohfdhc fmx rmeodr
xdhtrm|} ndi|
|` hjgdrjx
ydr. M edydr
nn} fd deldl
d |` hjnn jel
mejehmjnn} |`
jnn jg`te|x
j|hf j qtbnmh
fde fd wjx
rdgjmedl j
% Fd wde| jx
bdrx me fmx
d jx x``e jx
|fd gjrrmjod
`ed `i gje}
`rgdl ce`|
|fj| fd wjx
dek`}dl |fd
|fj| fd fjl
trm`tx wm|f
M ldhmldl |`e fmx f`txd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
54/126
qf`ed3 m| wjx `ii jel x` M |tredl m| `e% Jx x``e jx M
|tredl `e |fd rmeodr |fd qf`ed rjeo% M| wjx `ed `i
fmx omrnirmdelx% B} |fd |mgd fd rd|tredl f`gd M wjx
o`ed jel fmx qnjhd fjl g} gjrc% Fd hjnndl gd nj|dr
|fj| lj} jel |`nl gd dydr}|fmeo M wje|dl |` ce`w%
Fd fjl bdde mey`nydl wm|f xdydrjn wfm|d w`gde
jel xmx|drx jnmcd mehntlmeo |w` w`gde M cedw
qdrx`ejnn}% M fjl jnx` i`tel fmx jtlm` k`trejn wm|f
ld|jmndl ldxhrmq|m`ex jb`t| wfj| fd nmcdl jb`t| djhf
`ed `i tx jel fmx wddcn} r`|j|m`ex |` xqdel |mgd
wm|f tx% @ehd jojme. M wjx fdjr|'br`cde jel
rdjnm{dl |fj| M fjl bdde txdl i`r xdv% B} |fde M fjl
qjml `ii fmx njx| edw hjr e`|d ji|dr od||meo g}
meh`gd |jvdx% M wjx xdyde|dde }djrx `nl xmgqn}
n``cmeo i`r |rtd n`yd jel o`| hjtof| tq me |fd gmx|
`i m| jnn% Fd dyde|tjnn} gjrrmdl x`gd`ed dnxd jel M
wjx bjhc |` xztjrd `ed me g} n`yd nmid% M|x jgj{meo
|` gd f`w qd`qnd gjejod |` cddq xdhrd|x |fj| |fd}
|fmec wmnn edydr h`gd |` nmof|% G} orjelij|fdrx
wmid lr`qqdl gd `ii |` fmx xmx|drx f`txd |fj| nmydl
`en} j idw bn`hcx `ydr ir`g G`ejrhf wfdrd wd txd
|` xqdel |fd emof|% Ml `ydr n``cdl |fd ldi`rgm|} `i
fmx qrmyj|d jrdj |fmecmeo m| wjx de`tof |` xf`w |fj|M wjx e`| ktlogde|jn ijmndl bdhjtxd M |rtn} x|jr|dl
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
55/126
|` ijnn me n`yd wm|f fmg jel |fd h`gi`r| fd
qrd|deldl |` `iidr% \fdrd wjx bjhcx|jbbmeo
ldhdq|m`e xtrr`telmeo |fmx wf`nd gj||dr jel xdydrjn
jltn|x qnj}dl j r`nd b} jxxmx|meo jel cddqmeo |fmx j
xdhrd| `i je teldr jodl omrn jel j or`we jxx gje%
Ml bdh`gd j cml l`we `e g} nthc. fteor} jel
n``cmeo i`r x`gd`ed wf` n`ydl gd jel jnn `i |fd
|fmeox jxx`hmj|dl wm|f |fd Jgdrmhje lrdjg% M fjl
lrdjgx `i gjrrmjod jel |rtn} n`ydl |fd `edx wf`
ldhdmydl j hfmnl i`r jltn| xdvtjn orj|mimhj|m`e% M jg
e`| j nm||nd omrn je}g`rd rdjl} |` rdydjn |fd lddqdx|
ljrcdx| `i xdhrd|x% \fmx wjx |fd brdjcmeo q`me| |fj|
njeldl gd me |fd f`xqm|jn i`r |fmr|}'|frdd lj}x me |fd
htx|`l} `i l`h|`rx wf` xjydl g} nmid ji|dr j ijmndl
xtmhmld j||dgq|% M wjx qnjhdl wm|f `|fdr hfmnlrde
bd|wdde |fd jodx `i |wdnyd jel xdyde|dde%
H`ehdredl l`h|`rx jel etrxdx wdrd edydr jbnd |`
n`hj|d g} g`|fdr jel xfd edydr `ehd hjgd |` |fd
f`xqm|jn% M fjl bdh`gd j n`edn} ldqrdxxdl |ddejodr
|mrdl `i |fd qjme jxx`hmj|dl wm|f jnn M fjl deltrdl me
xdyde|dde }djrx% \fdrd wjx e` `ed ndi| |` |rtx| jel M
wje|dl |` imel j wj} `t| `i wfj| fjl bdhjgd j
qdrx`ejn fdnn% \fd imrx| wddc M wjx `e j x|rmh| fmofndydn xtmhmld wj|hf wm|f j etrxd jxxmoedl |` hfdhc
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
56/126
me dydr} imi|dde gmet|dx% M fjl jrrmydl
jel jeor} wjcmeo tq me |fd f`xqm
gdg`r} f`w M o`| |fdrd%
G} etrxdx
Xfjr`e je j
Hjthjxmje
htrn} bn`eld
d}dx% _d
fdjlx |fd imrx| |w` wddcx jel M wjx jn
g} r``g bjxdl `e rdbdnnm`tx bdfjym`r
|` dj|% \fd |fmrl wddc M fjl bdote |`
|dnn |fd l`h|`rx wfj| wjx fjqqdemeo |`
G} l`h|`r xhfdltndl or`tq xdxxm`ex w
jel M wjx rdztmrdl |` cddq j ljmn} k`
wm|f g} nmid x|`r} ir`g jx ijr bjh
rdgdgbdr% Lr% Bnjhc hjgd |` xdd gd j
lj} jel g} k`trejn wjx dyde|tjnn}
gdlmhjn rdh`rlx i`r |fd de|mrd x|jii
Ltrmeo j ymxm| wm|f Lr% Bnjhc `ed
gde|m`edl g} k`trejn de|rmdx jel jx
rdjl} |` lmxhtxx wfj| M fjl rdydjndl jb
nmid% M wjx rdjl} |` |jnc jb`t| dydr}|gje wf` fjl lr`yd gd |fdrd me |fd
teh`exhm`tx
|jn wm|f e`
ejgd wjx
drjod fdmof|
`gje wm|f
jmr jel bntd
jl btgqdl
wj}x xde| |`
jel rditxmeo
`qde tq jel
gd j| f`gd%
|f `|fdr cmlx
rejn x|jr|meo
jx M h`tnl
ndjx| `ehd j
lldl |` g}
|` jejn}{d%
i|dre``e fd
dl mi M wjx
t| g} f`gd
fmeo bt| |fdmrx| qnjhd% M|
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
57/126
wjx bdh`gmeo ydr} hndjr |` gd |fj| g} g`|fdr wjx
e`| h`gmeo |` |fd f`xqm|jn jel |fd x|j|d fjl bdh`gd
mey`nydl bjxdl `e rdq`r|meo hfmnl jbtxd jel
edondh|% M fjl e`|fmeo dnxd |` n`xd jel jexwdrdl jnn
`i |fdmr ztdx|m`ex me ld|jmnx |fj| mehntldl ejgdx% Lr%
Bnjhc wde| `e |` |dnn gd |fj| bjxdl `e g} nmid x|`r}
|fj| M xf`tnl h`exmldr wrm|meo j b``c x`gd lj}
bdhjtxd M fjl dvqdrmdehdl g`rd me g} nmid j| jod
xdyde|dde |fje |fd jydrjod |fmr|}'imyd }djr `nl% M
w`tnl nj|dr bd rdndjxdl |` g} ordj| tehnd ce`we i`r
fmx lrto txd% M| xddgdl |` od| j nm||nd bd||dr ji|dr
bdmeo rdndjxdl ir`g |fd f`xqm|jn bt| n``cx hje bd
ldhdmymeo% \fd gje M wjx fjymeo j xdhrd|
rdnj|m`exfmq wm|f lml e`| ndjyd gd jn`ed bt| gjld
xtrd |` |dnn gd e`| |` gde|m`e fmx ejgd `e j qf`ed
hjnn wfde M wjx me |fd f`xqm|jn% Me |fd del |fd
f`xqm|jn dvqdrmdehd ojyd gd `ed njx| hfjehd |`
xqdjc `t| jb`t| |fd fmx|`r} `i g} l}xiteh|m`ejn
ijgmn} jel wfj| wjx fjqqdemeo |` gd% M ndjredl
gdlm|j|myd h`qmeo xcmnnx |fr`tof me|dexd or`tq jel
qrmyj|d xdxxm`ex% Gdlm|j|m`e xdxxm`ex wdrd y`mhd
otmldl wm|f x``|fmeo x`telx `i |fd `hdje. bmrlx jel
ej|trd% \fmx w`tnl bd |fd imrx| |mgd |fj| M fjl fdjrl`i xthf |fdrjq} bt| b} |fde wmnnmeo |` |r} je}|fmeo
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
58/126
|` x|`q |fd qjme M wjx iddnmeo wm|fm
_fde M fjl jrrmydl M wjx j br`cde
rdjl} |` del |fd nmid M fjl h`gd |`
`we% Tq`e ldqjr|meo M fjl ndjredl j
h`qd wm|f |fd `bx|jhndx nmid fjl |` `iidr
Qr`|dh|m
wmhcdl
lmr|} xd
qr`yd |
djx} |j
|` |fd
f`gd
Gjn`ed Lrmyd wm|f g} ordj| tehnd `en}
rd|tremeo |` j f`gd wm|f e` i``l `r f
N`tmx wme|dr g`e|fx% G} g`|fdr r
x|jgqx i`r }djrx bt| xfd edydr br`tof|
Ldxqdrj|d gdjxtrdx wdrd |jcde wf
fjeomeo jr`tel j idgjnd lrto ld
edmofb`rf``l% _m|fme |fd imrx| wddc
de`tof |` bt} i``l |` dj|% X``e ji|dr
xdnn i`r x`gd`ed dnxd |jcmeo `ydr
e g} fdjr|%
|ddejod omrn
e`w jx g}
edw wj} |`
%
o gd ir`g
wj}x jel
hrd|x w`tnl
e`| bd je
c% Rdndjxdl
xgjnn brmhc
`e Jeemd
gdje| M wjx
dj| me |fd X|%
hdmydl i``l
tx i``l%
e M x|jr|dl
jndr me `tr
M fjl gjld
M lml eddl |`
de`tof |`
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
59/126
odedrj|d de`tof g`ed} |` xtqqn} bjx
qj}meo bmnnx |fd jltn|x x|`qqdl qj}meo%
Ljrcdr Lj}x
M wjx omyde j xgjnn fjel ote i`rje`|fdr |dde jel dyde|tjnn} xtrr`teld
ydr} bjl hfjrjh|drx% \fmx bdfjym`r
jng`x| xmv g`e|fx bdi`rd M wjx hjtof|
b} xf``|meo `e Dyjex dxhjqmeo |fr`
l``r |fd imrx| |mgd% \fd njx| |mgd M wdem| wjx rjmldl b} |fd X|% N`tmx
ldqjr|gde|
\fmx |mgd
`r dyde
ld|jmedl b
xmgqn} |jc
wjx bdomeemeo |` nmyd j ljeodr`tx nmi
Xdydrjn `i g} qddrx wdrd h`ehdred
hfjeodl me|` x`gd`ed wf` fjl b
hjqjbnd `i qtnnmeo j |rmoodr jel delme
qjr| jb`t| m| jnn mi M o`| hjtof| tq b
mh eddlx jel
r`|dh|m`e b}g}xdni wm|f
de| `e i`r
tq me j lrmyd
of |fd bjhc
|` |fd f`txdHm|} q`nmhd
%
lml e`| rte
|r} M wjx
q`nmhd jel
de f`gd% M
ktx| |` dj|%
|fj| M fjl
dh`gd ydr}
o j nmid% Xjl
q`nmhd |fd}
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
60/126
edydr jrrdx|dl gd q`nmhd ktx| |``c gd f`gd |` g}
ordj| orjelij|fdr f`txd% M|x j xfjgd wfde }`t
hje| dyde od| jrrdx|dl mi }`t |rmdl%
M wjx xdyde|dde }djrx `nl xhrdjgmeo i`r j||de|m`e
bdhjtxd M fjl bdh`gd h`eir`e|j|m`ejn jel jrgdl
otjrlmeo |drrm|`r} me |fd edmofb`rf``l wfdrd M ordw
tq% Hrjhc fdjlx ir`g xdydrjn bn`hcx x|jr|dl h`gmeo
|` bt} |fd lrto ir`g gd mehntlmeo x`gd qjrde|x `i
g} irmdelx jel g} otjrlmje |fj| M fjl bdde
rdndjxdl |` ji|dr bdmeo lmxhfjrodl ir`g |fd f`xqm|jn%
M |``c |fd g`ed} jel qjml |fd fdj|meo bmnn jel
|tredl j qf`ed `e me g} ejgd i`r |fd f`txd% M xj|
`e g} ir`e| q`rhf xdnnmeo `t| `i |fd nm||nd `ii wfm|d
r`hcx e` bmoodr |fje |fd |mq `i g} bjb} imeodr%
Jydrjomeo ,:21 qdr lj} te|mn j gje ir`g Dyjex
|``c me|drdx| me gd jel x`nl m| i`r gd x` M lml e`|
fjyd |` w`rc |fd x|rdd|x% \fd g`ed} wjx ldnmydrdl
|` gd dydr} dydemeo bdi`rd gmlemof| edydr xf`r|
hfjeodl% M| xddgdl jx mi M wjx x|jr|meo |` ojme
rdxqdh| wfde jnn |frdd |ddejod b`}x hjgd |` gd
melmymltjnn} jel jq`n`om{dl i`r ojeo rjqmeo gd j
idw }djrx djrnmdr% Ji|dr |fj| lj} wfde |f`xd b`}xjq`n`om{dl |` gd x`gd|fmeo dnxd fjqqdedl |fj|
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
61/126
gjld gd w`eldr mi otmn| qnj}dl je} r`nd `r wjx m|
x`gd|fmeo dnxd% M wjx omyde j xgjnn fjelote ji|dr
ijmnmeo |` fjelnd |fd imrx| ote hjnndl j emed
gmnnmgd|dr% M| fjl |`` gthf cmhc i`r gd jel wjx
|rjldl `ii% Nj|dr |fj| ote wjx |jcde me j q`nmhd rjml
`e Dyjex% Jnn |frdd `i |f`xd b`}x lml x`gd|fmeo i`r
gd jx mi |fd} wdrd |r}meo |` xf`w |fdmr jq`n`omdx%
@ed `i |fd b`}x bdoje |` omyd gd lrtox |` xdnn
wm|f`t| j ht| `i |fd g`ed}% M txd |` cddq |fd g`ed}
me j hmojr b`v teldr je je|mztd hfdx| me |fd
bjhcr``g ljll} btmn| `e|` |fd f`txd bdi`rd M wjx
b`re% Je`|fdr b`} qjml i`r jnn `i g} lr} hndjemeo
xtm|x i`r g} k`b j| |fd gjnn% \fd njx| b`} jq`n`om{dl
jel wjx cmnndl xf`r|n} ji|dr fmx jq`n`o} wm|f ld|jmnx
`en} ce`we b} X|% N`tmx Hm|} Q`nmhd% G} nmid wjx
`ehd jojme xqmrjnmeo `t| `i h`e|r`n wfde xgjnn cmlx
me `tr edmofb`rf``l wjncdl |fd edmofb`rf``l
bdoomeo i`r i``l bdhjtxd jng`x| dydr} jltn| jr`tel
gd wjx j hrjhc fdjl% M wjx bdh`gmeo x`gd|fmeo
|fj| M wjx e`| gdje| |` bd |r}meo |` djre ijx| hjxf
`ii x`gd`ed dnxd fjbm|x jel e`|mhmeo |fd rdxqdh| |fj|
xddg |` h`gd jn`eo wm|f m|% M wjx |frdj|dedl `ehd
b} |w` `nldr gjndx |` xdnn x`gdwfdrd dnxd% M wde| |`|fd qdrx`e wf` txd |` ir`e| gd jel |fd |w` gde
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
62/126
edydr gde|m`edl m| |` gd jojme jx M h`e|metdl |` xdnn
me j |drrm|`r} |fj| M fjl |jcde `ydr% \fdrd wjx
e`|fmeo onjg`r`tx jb`t| |fd nmid'x|}nd wm|f |fd
h`ex|je| qrdxxtrd |` wj|hf g} bjhc% M| bdhjgd |``
gthf wfde g} otjrlmje x|jr|dl nd||meo |fd hrjhc
fdjlx h`gd me|` g} bdlr``g wfde M wjx xnddqmeo%
\fd njx| x|rjw wjx wfde M i`tel g}xdni me |fd
nmymeo r``g `i je jllmh| wm|f xdydrjn `|fdr omrnx
|fdrd |` jxxmx| gd bdj| |fd g`ed} Cmg `wdl gd `t|
`i fdr `r h`nndh|% Je}wj}. |fd |jh|mh w`rcdl
bdhjtxd Cmg qjml gd me itnn i`r fdr lrto fjbm| jel
g`ydl `t| `i |fd edmofb`rf``l x``e ji|dr% G}
irmdel Fdrgje hjgd |` gd `ed emof| jel |`nl gd
|fj| wd h`tnl e` n`eodr bd irmdelx bdhjtxd fd wjx
jirjml `i wfj| M fjl bdh`gd% Fd wde| `e |` dvqrdxx
fmx h`ehdrex jb`t| g} j||m|tld xmehd M fjl bdote |`
hjrr} j ote% G} lrto xdnnmeo lj}x wdrd xf`r| nmydl
bdhjtxd M wjx od||meo hn`xd |` n`xmeo g} nmid jel g}
irddl`g bjrnd} gjcmeo m| `t| `i lrmyd b} xf``|meox%
G} g`|fdr wjx mei`rgdl jb`t| wfj| M wjx l`meo
jel xmgqn} wjredl gd |` x|j} jwj} ir`g Dyjex%
G`ymeo jwj} ir`g |fd edmofb`rf``l wjx g} bdx|
hfjehd |` xtrymyd jel |fj| `qq`r|tem|} fjqqdedlwm|f |fd X|% N`tmx K`b H`rqx Hde|dr `e O``l'idnn`w
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
63/126
B`tndyjrl j| |fd `nl gmnm|jr} bjxd% M wjx `iidrdl j
edw k`b me |fd X|% N`tmx Ojnndrmj j| Hnjmrdx
B`t|mztd% M wjx dvhm|dl |` ndjyd |fd edmofb`rf``l
i`r wfj| xddgdl nmcd |fd njx| rdx`r| |` hfjeomeo g}
nmid xm|tj|m`e% K`b H`rqx jhhdq|dl gd `ed dydemeo
mggdlmj|dn} qmhcmeo gd tq ir`g f`gd jel |jcmeo
gd |` g} l`rg r``g% M xfjrdl j r``g wm|f xdydrjn
`|fdr idgjndx mehntlmeo j Hjthjxmje omrn ir`g
@rdo`e% M txd |` od| tq `ed f`tr bdi`rd nmof|x `e |`
xf`wdr me qrmyj|d i`r |fmr|} gmet|dx. o` |` brdjcijx|
jel |fde |` hnjxx dydr} lj}% J| g} qr`ordxx fdjrmeo
M wjx |`nl |fj| M wjx ijmnmeo g} O%D%L% hnjxx wm|f
`ed `i |fd njlmdx jxcmeo gd jb`t| g} qjrde|x jel
g} f`gd nmid% \fd njl} wde| `e |` |dnn gd |fj| M lml
e`| bdn`eo me K`b H`rq jel xfd |f`tof| M bdn`eodl j
rdotnjr fmof xhf``n% Xfdl meztmrdl jb`t|
h`e|jh|meo g} g`|fdr bdhjtxd xfd fjl je me|drdx| |`
|jcd gd |` fdr f`gd bt| e`|fmeo dydr hjgd `i m|
bdhjtxd M fjl e` mldj wfdrd g} g`|fdr wjx jr`tel
|fj| |mgd% \fd g`x| q`qtnjr b`} j| K`b H`rqx j| |fd
|mgd wjx ejgdl Kmgg} jel j n`| `i omrnx `e hjgqtx
w`tnl e`| fjyd gmel bdmeo fmx omrn irmdel% Fd wjx
ht|d jel M wjx xhjrdl |` |jnc |` fmg ji|dr bdmeoh`redl me |fd omrnx bj|fr``g |jncmeo g} wj} `t| `i
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
64/126
j bdj| l`we ir`g xdydrjn omrnx wf` gjld m| hndjr |`
x|j} jwj} ir`g Kmgg}% Itee} |fmeo jb`t| m| wjx M
lml |jnc g} wj} `t| bt| g} r``ggj|dx wdrd j gdxx
me od||meo |`od|fdr jel x|jelmeo tq i`r gd `e
hjgqtx% \fmecmeo bjhc |` |fd emof| `ed `i g}
r``ggj|dx hjgd bjhc |` hjgqtx ji|dr f`trx% Xfd
b`n|dl me|` `tr l`rg r``g jel xnml teldr fdr bdl
wm|f j fjnn g`em|`r i`nn`wmeo hn`xd bdfmel%
F`wdydr. Jeodnj gjejodl |` h`ehdjn fdrxdni teldr
fdr bdl bdoomeo tx e`| |` |dnn wfdrd xfd wjx% \fd
fjnn g`em|`r jxcdl lml }`t jnn xdd Jeodnj h`gd me
fdrd% \fd `en} wfm|d omrn `e hjgqtx xq`cd tq imrx|
xj}meo3 e` M fjyde| xdde fdr hjtxmeo j xe`w bjnn
diidh| `i omrnx fmlmeo Jeodnj% Xfd h`tnl e`| fmld i`r
n`eo `i h`trxd bt| wd jnn njtofdl jb`t| m| nj|dr%
\fd fjnn g`em|`r wjx h`exmldrdl |` bd j gdje `nldr
w`gje wm|f je jng`x| gmnm|jr} x|}nd r`nn hjnn jx
ldxhrmbdl b} g`x| `i g} qddrx% F`wdydr |fd `nldr
w`gje wjx jnwj}x emhd |` gd jel dyde
rdh`ggdeldl gd |` |fd x|tlde| o`ydregde| `e
hjgqtx% M wjx xdndh|dl |` wrm|d j xqddhf jel
qr`ymldl wm|f j qjmr `i xf`dx |` gj|hf g} h`n`ritn`t|im| b} |fd fjnn g`em|`r |fd lj} `i g} xqddhf |fj|
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
65/126
X|drnmeo fdnqdl gd |` wrm|d% G} d}d `qdedr wjx |fd
lj} |fj| wd ndjredl wd wdrd fdjldl `e j imdnl |rmq
|` xdd Gr% Ndx Br`we. j g`|myj|m`ejn xqdjcdr j|
Gj||fdw Lmhcd}x B`}x jel Omrnx Hntb me |fd hm|}
`i X|% N`tmx% Fmx gdxxjod wjx mexqmrmeo jx fd xq`cd
jb`t| gdlm`hrm|}% Gr% Br`we wjncdl |fd de|mrd
r``g qdrx`ejnn} me|r`lthmeo fmgxdni |` djhf qdrx`e
bdi`rd xfjcmeo fjelx bdi`rd fmx xqddhf% M wjx
f`e`rdl jel dvhm|dl |` gdd| fmg bdhjtxd M fjl
jnrdjl} bdde me|r`lthdl |` |fd nm|drjr} w`rcx `i
Ejq`nd`e Fmnn jel Lr% Ldeemx Cmgbr`% \fmx wjx |fd
g`gde| me g} nmid wfde M bdnmdydl |fj| M fjl j
lmymed qtrq`xd me nmid mi M h`tnl xmgqn} f`nl `e jel
xtrymyd |fr`tof |fmx gdxx `i j nmid M fjl h`gd |`
ce`w jx g} `we% M wjx f`nlmeo `e i`r ldjr nmid b}
|fde jel imelmeo j wj} `t| `i j ydr} bjl xm|tj|m`e
w`tnl rdztmrd gje} g`rd }djrx `i `ydrh`gmeo
qdrx`ejn jlydrxm|} bdi`rd g} xm|tj|m`e hfjeodl%
@ydr |fd }djrx M h`e|metdl |` g`yd ir`g i`x|dr
f`gd |` i`x|dr f`gd f`nlmeo `e |` jx gje} o``l
gdg`rmdx jx q`xxmbnd% G} i`x|dr f`gd me Bjlde
wm|f g} ij|fdrx xmx|dr jel fdr ftxbjel wjx g}
tn|mgj|d brdjc |` nmyd jx j e`rgjn |ddejodr% M fjlordj| rdxqdh| i`r g} jte| bdhjtxd xfd |rdj|dl gd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
66/126
nmcd j hfmnl `i fdr `we bt| M jnx` fjl j rdbdnnm`tx
xmld% G} nmid |tredl jr`tel i`r |fd bdx| wfde M wjx
der`nndl bjhc me|` j rdotnjr fmof xhf``n. jnn`wdl |`
w`rc qjr|'|mgd. fjyd irmdelx. |jcde |` ijgmn}
oj|fdrmeox jel g`x| mgq`r|je|n} M wjx hfjqdr`edl
b} g} jte|x ftxbjel wf` edydr `ehd jqqr`jhfdl
gd me je mejqqr`qrmj|d gjeedr% M wjx ndjremeo |`
lrmyd jel xqde| |mgd wj|hfmeo g} tehndx xmeomeo
or`tq rdfdjrxd me |fd bjxdgde| dydr} wddc% G}
jte|x ftxbjel |jtof| gd jb`t| gtxmh. y`mhd
rdh`rlmeox jel ymld` rdh`rlmeo% \fdrd wdrd e`
g`rd mxxtdx wm|f bdmeo g`ndx|dl `r jbtxdl jel M
i`tel g}xdni me j fjqq} qnjhd wm|f e`|fmeo
dvqdh|dl `i gd dvhdq| bdmeo j e`rgjn |ddejod omrn% M
rdhjnn g} jte| jel orjelg`|fdr |jcmeo |trex |jcmeo
gd xf`qqmeo i`r edw hn`|fdx jel qdrx`ejn eddlx% M
n`ydl |fd i`x|dr f`gd |fj| M hjnndl f`gd `e jel `ii
te|mn g} djrn} |wde|mdx ji|dr omymeo bmr|f |` g} imrx|
b`re x`e% G} bjb}x ij|fdr jel M xqnm| bdi`rd |fd
bmr|f `i `tr x`e |fj| nj|dr deldl tq bdmeo j ejx|}
brdjc tq jel htx|`l} bj||nd |fj| wjx xd||ndl me 2116
me |fd 2:x| Ktlmhmjn Hmrhtm| H`te|} H`tr|x orje|meo
gd itnn qf}xmhjn htx|`l} jel |fd rmof| |` nmydme|drx|j|d wm|f `tr hfmnl% G} imrx| b`re x`e jrrmydl
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
67/126
`e @h|`bdr 81. :==9 x|rtoonmeo me fmx imrx| |frdd
}djrx wm|f idbrmnd xdm{trdx% Nj|dr fd wjx qrdxhrmbdl
j edbtnm{dr gjhfmed i`r rdotnjr brdj|fmeo |rdj|gde|x
i`r x}gq|`gx jxx`hmj|dl wm|f jx|fgj me }`teo
hfmnlrde% M wjx j }`teo xmeond g`|fdr ndi|
jbjel`edl b} fmx ij|fdr x|rtoonmeo |` cddq g} bjb}
jnmyd jel fdjn|f}% @ed dydemeo. M w`rcmeo j|
Lmnnjrlx me E`r|fwdx| Qnj{j wfde |fd qf`ed rjeo j|
g} hjxf rdomx|dr% \fdrd wjx j n`eo nmed `i
htx|`gdrx j| g} rdomx|dr wjm|meo |` hfdhc `t|% \fd
qf`ed hjnn wjx `ed `i |fd g`x| lmx|trbmeo hjnnx |fj|
M fjl dydr rdhdmydl rdojrlmeo |fd wdnn bdmeo `i g}
hfmnl |fj| Ml ndi| me |fd hjrd `i g} bjb} xmx|dr% @e
|fd `|fdr del `i |fd qf`ed wjx j idgjnd y`mhd
mlde|mi}meo fdrxdni jx j njw dei`rhdgde| `iimhdr
mex|rth|meo gd |` gdd| |fdg j| X|% N`tmx Hfmnlrdex
F`xqm|jn bdhjtxd g} |de g`e|f `nl bjb} wjx
fjymeo j xdm{trd j||jhc0 \fd edwx hjgd jx j xf`hc
|` gd bdhjtxd g} bjb} xddgdl imed jel edydr fjl j
xdm{trd bdi`rd |fde% M fteo tq |fd qf`ed x|mnn me
xf`hc jel h`tnl e`| rdgdgbdr je}`edx qf`ed
etgbdr |` qmhc gd tq ir`g w`rc jel |jcd gd |` |fd
f`xqm|jn% @ed `i |fd htx|`gdrx e`|mhdl |fj| M wjxfmofn} lmx|rjtof| jel dvqrdxxdl |fj| xfd fjl `ydr
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
68/126
fdjrl g} qf`ed hjnn wm|f q`nmhd% Xfd wjx j xf`r|
Hjthjxmje w`gje wm|f fjmr |fj| rdjhfdl wdnn qjx|
fdr wjmx|% \fd w`gje |`nl gd fdr ejgd jel `iidrdl
j rmld |` |fd f`xqm|jn ir`g |fd gjnn% M wjx ldxqdrj|d
wm|f e` `|fdr hf`mhd jel jhhdq|dl fdr `iidr% G}
rdomx|dr wjx hn`xdl jel htx|`gdrx wmxfdl gd wdnn
bdi`rd |fd w`gje dxh`r|dl gd |` |fd de|rjehd `i
Hfmnlrdex F`xqm|jn Dgdrodeh} R``g% G} bjb}
xqde| fmx imrx| Hfrmx|gjx me |fd f`xqm|jn imof|meo i`r
fmx nmid teldr |fd xtqdrymxm`e `i l`h|`rx jel etrxdx
wf` i`tel fmx xdm{trd j||jhc |` bd idydr rdnj|dl
ir`g j lmjoe`xdl hjxd `i Meintde{j% \fd f`xqm|jn
qnjhd tx `e |fd in``r wfdrd dydr}`ed w`rd gjxc
bdhjtxd m| wjx j h`e|jom`tx mnnedxx% Ml bdh`gd xmhc
|jcmeo hjrd `i g} bjb} wf` wjx rdndjxdl j idw
lj}x ji|dr Hfrmx|gjx% G} jte| jel fdr ftxbjel
wdnh`gd tx wm|f Hfrmx|gjx omi|x jel g} x`ex imrx|
f`gd ymld` rdh`rlmeo j| jod |frdd g`e|fx% G} jte|
fjl j fjbm| `i |jcmeo jel h`nndh|meo qmh|trdx
xf`wmeo gd f`w |` f`nl `e |` qrdhm`tx gdg`rmdx%
Fjymeo j xmhc hfmnl wjx `en} |fd bdomeemeo wfde
fmx ij|fdr rditxdl |` |jcd tx |` |fd f`xqm|jn bdhjtxd
`tr hfmnl wjx fjymeo |fd g`x| lmiimhtn| |mgdbrdj|fmeo jel eddldl gdlmhjn j||de|m`e% \fmx wde|
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
69/126
`e i`r |fd imrx| |frdd }djrx `i g} bjb}x nmid jel M
fjl j fjrl |mgd imelmeo j lj}hjrd hjqjbnd `i |jcmeo
hjrd `i j hfmnl |fj| rdztmrdl h`ex|je| xtqdrymxm`e
jel gdlmhjn |rdj|gde|x% Dyde|tjnn} g} x`e gjld m|
|fr`tof fmx `rldjn jel fjx edydr fjl je} g`rd
x}gq|`gx `i jx|fgj `r xdm{trdx% Nmid wde| `e
bdh`gmeo g`rd h`gqnmhj|dl wfde m| wjx |mgd |`
|rjexm|m`e `t| `i i`x|dr f`gdx me|` j f`gd `i g}
`we% G} ij|fdrx g`|fdr deh`trjodl gd |` jqqn}
i`r je meh`gd bjxdl jqjr|gde| me _de|{ymnnd.
Gmxx`trm% M wjx dvhm|dl jb`t| fjymeo g} `we
jqjr|gde| wm|f g} edw bjb} jel jqqnmdl
mggdlmj|dn}% F`wdydr. M lml e`| fjyd j hjr3 M wjx
}`teo wm|f e` qrdym`tx rde|jn fmx|`r} jel wjx e`|
jqqr`ydl |fd imrx| |mgd jqqn}meo i`r je meh`gd
bjxdl jqjr|gde|% M deldl tq |rjydnmeo |`
Gmnwjtcdd. _mxh`exme me Ktn} :==? wm|f g} |fde
xdyde g`e|f `nl bjb} |` nmyd wm|f g} bm`n`omhjn
ij|fdr jel fmx wmid% _m|fme |fd imrx| i`r|} dmof| f`trx
M wjx bjhc `e |fd Ord} F`tel btx bjhc |` X|% N`tmx
bdhjtxd m| wjx e`| |fd bdx| deymr`egde| `ehd wd
fjl jrrmydl% G} ij|fdr qmhcdl gd tq ir`g |fd btx
x|j|m`e jel |``c gd |` j lrto f`txd ndjymeo gd jelfmx orjelljtof|dr me |fd hjr wfmnd fd wde| mexmld%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
70/126
Fd nj|dr |`nl gd |fj| wjx fmx wf`rd f`txd% \fmx |rmq
wjx |jcde xf`r|n} ji|dr |fd ldj|f `i g} br`|fdr
NjR`e wf` lmdl j| |fd jod `i i`tr|dde jel b`re `ed
lj} bdi`rd g} bmr|flj}% G} orjelg`|fdr |`nl gd
jb`t| j br`|fdr jel j xmx|dr |fj| M fjl edydr gd|% G}
br`|fdr nmydl wm|f fmx g`|fdr me _mxh`exme jel g}
xmx|dr wjx njx| ce`we |` bd nmymeo edjr |fd `nl
hdgd|dr} `ii In`rmxxje|% G} ij|fdr xddgdl |` bd
g`rd me|` xqdelmeo |mgd wm|f gd jel od| |` ce`w
fmx orjelx`e bjxdl `e |fd h`eydrxj|m`ex wd fjl
wfmnd g} ij|fdr wjx ymxm|meo X|% N`tmx j g`e|f qrm`r
j| g} fmx xmx|drx f`gd me Bjlde% M wje|dl
ldxqdrj|dn} |` |r} jel h`e|metd |` dx|jbnmxf j
q`xm|myd rdnj|m`exfmq wm|f g} g`|fdr. ij|fdr `r b`|f
jel M wjx nd| l`we me |fd del wm|f |fd |rtd iddnmeox
rdydjndl b} b`|f `i g} qjrde|x bdhjtxd edm|fdr `ed
wje|dl |` bd b`|fdrdl wm|f gd% G} ij|fdr wjx
ce`we i`r fmx dymn wj} wm|f w`rlx g} g`|fdr
rdqdj|dl |` gd `e gje} `hhjxm`ex% G} g`|fdr
xddgdl |` fj|d g} ij|fdr jel g} ij|fdr xddgdl |`
n`yd |jte|meo fdr me|` je jrotgde| `r xf``|meo
edoj|myd w`rlx bjhc jel |` qnjhmeo gd lmrdh|n} me
|fd gmllnd% G} g`|fdr xq`cd fjrxfn} `i g} ij|fdrme g} qrdxdehd jx j cml bt| M x|mnn wje|dl |` ce`w
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
71/126
fmg jel M |fmec |fj| meitrmj|dl fdr% G} ij|fdr wjx
|fd xjgd djhf rjrd ymxm| jel `i|de |`nl gd |fj| M wjx
j bm|hf ktx| nmcd g} g`|fdr jnwj}x qnjhmeo gd me |fd
gmllnd bdhjtxd M n`ydl |fdg b`|f j| `ed |mgd% M
fjyd g`rd `i j rdxdgbnjehd `i g} ijhmjn idj|trdx
nmcd g} ij|fdr g`rd x` |fje g} g`|fdr mehntlmeo
|fd ej|trjnn} |fme b`l} irjgd wdnn me|` g} gml
|fmr|mdx% N`edn} |mgdx rd|tredl wfde g} j||dgq|x
ijmndl |` g`yd wm|f g} ij|fdr me _mxh`exme imelmeo
g}xdni bjhc `e |fd Ord}f`tel btx bjhc |` |fd fdnn
f`nd X|% N`tmx `iidrdl% Ml rditxdl |` jxc je}`ed i`r
j qnjhd |` nmyd |jcmeo g} bjb} |` j n`hjn qrmyj|d
w`gdex xfdn|dr me @ydrnjel. Gmxx`trm% G} x`ex
ij|fdr fjl j hfjeod `i fdjr| jel jnn`wdl gd |` cddq
fmx hjr x` M h`tnl fjyd |rjexq`r|j|m`e |` jel ir`g
|fd xfdn|dr% _d xqnm| tq bdhjtxd fd rditxdl |` ndjyd
fmx g`|fdrx f`txd ji|dr M fjl `tr bjb} me|` j qnjhd
`i `tr `we% \fdrd wjx e` qrmyjh} jel |fd
h`elm|m`ex `i |fd f`txd wdrd ldqn`rjbnd nj|dr
imelmeo m| |` bd j ce`we qr`bndg f`txd b} Qmed
Njwe Q`nmhd Ldqjr|gde|% M wjx x|mnn me g} imrx| }djr
`i h`nndod. w`rcmeo j itnn|mgd k`b jel |jcmeo hjrd `i
`tr bjb}% @e `ed `hhjxm`e g} x`ex ij|fdr jxcdl |`b`rr`w g`ed} ir`g gd |` qt| rmgx `e fmx hjr% M wjx
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
72/126
|r}meo |` |dnn fmg |fj| rmgx wdrd e`| jx mgq`r|je| jx
xjymeo |` od| `tr `we qnjhd jel bd rml `i |fd btrlde
`i nmymeo me q`ydr|} jel je deymr`egde| e`| im| i`r
l`ox% \fd f`txd wjx ce`we |` fjyd je `rldr |fj|
h`tnl bd e`|mhdl ir`g `t|xmld jel g} bdlr``g wjx
|fd `en} r``g me |fd de|mrd f`txd h`exmldrdl hndje.
edj| jel `rojem{dl dyde ji|dr j q`nmhd rjml n``cmeo
i`r |fd lrtox fmx xmx|dr jel fdr b`}irmdel x`nl `t| `i
|fd f`txd% M h`e|metdl |` x|j} me |fd f`txd te|mn M
wjx imejnn} jqqr`ydl i`r g} `we meh`gd bjxdl
jqjr|gde| me E`rgjel}. Gmxx`trm% G} dgqn`}dr
jnn`wdl djrn} rdndjxd |` gdd| wm|f |fd w`gje wf`
fjl h`gd |` g} htrrde| f`gd i`r j wjnc |fr`tof%
Ji|dr xdydrjn g`e|fx `i wjm|meo M wjx omyde cd}x |`
g} imrx| emhd qnjhd i`r gd jel g} bjb}% M wjx
orje|dl j imrx| ndjxd x|jr|meo j| |w` ftelrdl jel
xmv|} l`nnjrx qdr g`e|f i`r g} rde| nj|dr l`we |`
{dr` l`nnjrx i`r rde| jel j t|mnm|} jnn`wjehd |` qj}
g} bmnnx jx n`eo jx M wjx j itnn|mgd h`nndod x|tlde|%
M wjx qnjhdl `e |fd i`tr|f in``r l`we |fd fjnn ir`g
|fd njtelr} r``g wm|f ymdwx |` |fd bjhc qjrcmeo n`|%
\fd btmnlmeo wjx xdhtrd wm|f w`rcmeo q`nmhd
`iimhdrx jel dydr} otdx| wjx rdztmrdl |` xmoe me i`rrdxmlde| ymxm|x% G} edmofb`rx wdrd gmvdl me jod
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
73/126
rjeod ir`g dmof|dde |` dnldrx jel fje
gjejodl |` xthhdxxitnn} |rjexm|m`e `t|
me|` j n`ydn} hndje jqjr|gde| `i g} `
|fdrd wjx lrjgj ntrcmeo jx jnwj}x je
`en} j gj||dr `i |mgd bdi`rd m| wjx ht|
fjy`h% M wjx je jltn| b} e`w me g} d
me h`nndod jel lj|meo j lde|mx| ir`g
H`ggtem|} Lde|jn Hnmemh% M gd| |fd l
wde| i`r g} jeetjn lde|jn hndjemeo `
Lr% V wjx imnnmeo me i`r |fd rdotnjr l`
Fd wjx |jnn. fjelx`gd wm|f j wdnn j
jqqdjrjehd. qf}xmhjnn} im| jel xmeo
h`exmldrjbn} `nldr |fje gd jel M n`
hfjehd |` |jnc |` fmg me'bd|wdde fmx qj
Ji|dr j id
|jncmeo |` |f
|fd qf`ed
meym|d gd `
F`wdydr. |f
fjqqdedl
deldl tq ltgqmeo fmg |` lj|d j
L%J%R%D q`nmhd `iimhdr |fj| w`rcdl mebtmnlmeo me :==6% @tr rdnj|m`exfmq bd
mhjqqdl% Ml
i i`x|dr hjrd
e% F`wdydr.
m| w`tnl bd
n``xd |` rdjq
rn} |wde|mdx.
Qmed Njwe
`h|`r wfde M
d ji|dre``e%
|`r |fj| lj}%
`yd jydrjod
nd% Fd wjx
dl od||meo j
mde|x%
g`e|fx `i
l`h|`r `ydr
d x|jr|dl |`
t| `e lj|dx%
lj|dx edydr
bdhjtxd M
wdnn rdxqdh|
tr jqjr|gde|jgd xdrm`tx
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
74/126
wfde fdl qr`q`xdl gjrrmjod |` gd% Ltrmeo |fd
|mgd |fj| wd wdrd deojodl wd h`ehdmydl j ljtof|dr
|fd i`nn`wmeo }djr% @tr deojodgde| wjx br`cde `ii
`e Jqrmn :?. 2111 delmeo `tr r`gje|mh rdnj|m`exfmq
meldimem|dn}% G} dv'imjeh wjx edydr |`nl jb`t| |fd
ld|jmnx xtrr`telmeo g} qjmeitn hfmnlf``l te|mn e`w%
Gje} }djrx nj|dr fd jxcdl gd wf} M edydr |`nl fmg
jb`t| x`gd `i |fd |fmeox gde|m`edl me |fmx b``c% M
rdqnmdl jel wd b`|f jorddl |fj| `tr gjk`r qr`bndg
wjx br`cde h`ggtemhj|m`e bdhjtxd M wjx ce`we
i`r xft||meo l`we me|` xmndehd `r dyde h`nl xf`tnldr
g`ldx% _fde M wjx wm|f fmg M lml e`| wje| i`r
je}|fmeo bdhjtxd fd wjx j o``l gje me qr`ymlmeo
i`r tx% M wjx xq`mndl bt| x|mnn ydr} tefjqq} wm|f
wfj| M wjx |r}meo |` ijhd `e g} `we wm|f`t|
lrjoomeo fmg me|` |fd lrjgj `i g} qjx| |fj| lml e`|
fjyd hn`xtrd% \fd rjqmx| jel g`ndx|drx gde|m`edl me
|fmx b``c jnn fjyd `ed |fmeo me h`gg`e jel |fj| mx
lde}meo |fd |rt|f% \fd} jrd x|mnn |r}meo |` txd |fj|
hrj{} hjrl njbdn |` gjcd m| jnn o` jwj}% Mi }`t hje
|rtx| |fd w`rlx `i j h`eymh|dl xdv `iideldr wf` wmnn
bd |fd imrx| `ed |` |r} jel txd |fd hrj{} hjrl njbdn
bdhjtxd |fmx mx f`w m| fjx w`rcdl i`r gje} }djrx |`|r} jel h`ydr tq |fd |rt|f \fd imrx| |fmeo j rjqmx| `r
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
75/126
hfmnl g`ndx|dr wmnn l` mx lde} |fd jnndoj|m`ex txmeo
|fd hrj{} hjrl |jh|mh jx fmx ldidexd wf} fd mx
bdmeo jhhtxdl me |fd imrx| qnjhd% F`wdydr. me g}
hjxd |fmx i``n |fmecx e`b`l} ce`wx fd mx j
rdomx|drdl xdv `iideldr%
X|jncdl b} j Qmed Njwe Q`nmhd @iimhdr
M x|jr|dl gjcmeo qnjex |`
k`me |fd Ejy} wfde M wjx
emed|dde }djrx `nl% M
|f`tof| |fd jrgdl i`rhdx
w`tnl omyd gd |fd`qq`r|tem|} |` ndjyd X|%
N`tmx i`r j irdxf x|jr|%
F`wdydr. m| lml e`| ztm|d
w`rc `t| |fj| wj}% G} g`|fdr fjl me|r`lthdl gd |`
g} htrrde| b`}irmdel j| |fd |mgd wf` nj|dr jxcdl mi M
w`tnl h`exmldr x|j}meo me X|% N`tmx% Ml ldhmldl |`
x|j} jel der`nn me|` j h`ggtem|} h`nndod e`| ijr
ir`g f`gd% J| |fd |mgd. M wjx nmymeo wm|f g}
bm`n`omhjn g`|fdr. fdr b`}irmdel jel g} }`teodx|
xmx|dr me Qmed Njwe%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
76/126
G} g`|fdr jxcdl gd |` h`gd bjhc f`gd ji|dr xfd
o`| `t| `i rdfjb jel rde|dl j |w` bdlr``g f`txd `e
Bdjhfw``l% I`r gje} }djrx. g} g`|fdr wjx nmymeo
me j yje qjrcdl me fdr b`}irmdelx jt|` xf`q wfde
xfd wjx `e hrjhc% Xfd |`nl gd |fmeox w`tnl bd
lmiidrde| jel M g`ydl `t| `i g} i`x|dr g`|fdrx
f`txd `e Omgbnme X|rdd| qr`ymeo |` bd j ftod
gmx|jcd nj|dr `e% \fd lrjgj x|jr|dl |` tei`nl bdi`rd
j x|rjeod gje wjx hjtof| qddqmeo me|` `tr bdlr``g
wmel`w% @tr edmofb`rx hfjmr fjl bdde rdg`ydl
ir`g fdr q`rhf jel qnjhdl j| `tr bdlr``g wmel`w%
G} b`}irmdel j| |fd |mgd hfjxdl |fd gje l`we |fd
jnnd} bt| n`x| fmg% \fd gje wjx edydr hjtof| e`r
lml M dydr iddn xjid jojme% Ml gjejodl |` bt} g}
imrx| edw hjr wm|f e` g`ed} l`we bt| g} g`|fdr
jnwj}x fjl g} hjr% @e `hhjxm`e. M wde| `t| wm|fg} omrnirmdelx jel ndi| g} hjr j| f`gd% G}
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
77/126
}`teodx| xmx|dr txd |` od| me m| jel x|jr| m| tq qnj}meo
jr`tel jel g} g`|fdr |``c m| wfdedydr xfd
wje|dl% @ed ji|dre``e g} xmx|dr jel M o`| me|` je
jrotgde| |fj| |trex me|` j itnn'bn`we imof|% M x|jr|dl
bnddlmeo ji|dr bdmeo x|`gqdl me g} x|`gjhf jel
wjx rtxfdl |` |fd f`xqm|jn% G} bjb} wjx me ljeodr
jel M wjx |frdj|demeo |` n`xd m|% F`xqm|jn x|jii hjnndl
|fd q`nmhd jel xtoodx|dl hfjrodx bd imndl mi g} bjb}
lmdl% J }`teo j||rjh|myd Hjthjxmje q`nmhd `iimhdr
hjgd me|` g} f`xqm|jn r``g jel me|drymdwdl gd%
Fd jxcdl i`r g} qdrx`ejn mei`rgj|m`e mehntlmeo |fd
jllrdxx. qf`ed etgbdrx jel |``c g} x|j|dgde|%
Ji|dr M wjx rdndjxdl ir`g |fd f`xqm|jn |fd `iimhdr
gd| gd j| g} g`|fdrx f`txd% G} g`|fdr htxxdl
gd `t| jel |`nl gd mi hfjrodx jrd imndl `e g} xmx|dr
M eddldl |` qjhc g} |fmeox jel o` wm|f |fd q`nmhd%
\` cddq |fd qdjhd M lml e`| qrdxx hfjrodx% F`wdydr.
|fd `iimhdr lmle| omyd tq dm|fdr% Fd |``c g}
qdrx`ejn mei`rgj|m`e ir`g |fd q`nmhd rdq`r| jel
x|jr|dl wj|hfmeo g} g`|fdrx f`txd ir`g |fd jnnd}%
M w`tnl xdd fmg `e gje} `hhjxm`ex me fmx qj|r`n hjr
me |fd jnnd} bdfmel `tr f`txd wm|f fmx nmof|x `e |fd
f`txd% M x|jr|dl od||meo qf`ed hjnnx ir`g fmg jelg} g`|fdr w`tnl e`| jnn`w fmg |` xqdjc |` gd%
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
78/126
\fd `iimhdr wde| jx ijr |` jxc j x|rjeodr |` hjnn |fd
f`txd i`r fmg bdhjtxd g} g`|fdr lml e`| nmcd wfm|d
qd`qnd% M i`tel `t| jb`t| |fd x|rjeodr bdhjtxd M wjx
j| w`rc j| |fd ojx x|j|m`e `ed dydemeo wfde j }`teo
gje jxcdl gd jb`t| g} ejgd bjlod% \fd gje wde|
`e |` jxc f`w M qr`e`tehdl g} ejgd jel M |`nl
fmg% \fd gje wde| `e |` jxc gd mi M cedw |fd Qmed
Njwe Q`nmhd @iimhdr b} ejgd% M xjml }dx. jel |fj| mx
wfde |fd gje |`nl gd |fmx `iimhdr qjml fmg |` hjnn
g} g`|fdrx f`txd i`r fmg bt| M wjx e`| f`gd% G}
g`|fdr |`nl gd mi M lml |jnc |` fmg je}g`rd M fjl |`
od| `t| jel x` M jy`mldl |fd q`nmhd `iimhdr wfde M
wjx `t|% \fd `iimhdr x|jr|dl qtnnmeo gd `ydr `e
b`otx |rjiimh x|`qx edydr omymeo gd j |mhcd| `e je}
`i |fd x|`qx% M| `en} dxhjnj|dl wfde j w`gje `e `tr
bn`hc hjgd b} g} g`|fdrx f`txd `ed lj} wfde
xfd wjx e`| |fdrd% Xfd wjx j qrd||} `nldr Hjthjxmje
w`gje wf` fjl j lmx|trbmeo x|`r} jb`t| j h`q wf`
xfd fjl rdhde|n} bdote lj|meo% \fd w`gje |`nl gd
xfd |f`tof| fd rdjnn} wje|dl |` bd wm|f fdr te|mn fd
x|jr|dl |` ztdx|m`e fdr jb`t| m| xfd cedw gd% Xfd
wje|dl gd |` ce`w |fj| M wjx bdmeo wj|hfdl jel
xfd fjl bdde txdl b} |fd `iimhdr |` od| hn`xd |` gd%Dyde|tjnn}. g} g`|fdr i`tel `t| jel wde| |` |fd
8/7/2019 Karma's Dirty Secrets Memoir
79/126
Hfmdi `i q`nmhd |` imnd j h`gqnjme|% Je
wjx njtehfdl jel |fd `iimhdr wjx im
ldqjr|gde|% M edydr xjw fmg jojme ji|d
wjx ktx| |fd bdomeemeo `i |fd x|jncme
w`tnl fjqqde jojme wm|f j q`nmhd ld|dh
xjgd ldqjr|gde| nj|dr% G} g`|fdr fj
ldqjr|gde| x`gdf`w dyde ji|dr jxxjtn
`iimhdr xdydrjn
wfde fd wjx
ijhd `e j l`g
hjnn mey`nymeo
jel fdr b`
g`|fdr wjx
lmr|} bm|hf i`r
jx M hje rdhjn
htxxmeo `t|
je}`ed dnxd qm
J n`hjn h`g
qjqdr jb`t| hrmgd h`e|jmedl g} g
ji|dr bdmeo jrrdx|dl i`r hjrr}meo je
h`ehdjndl wdjq`e me|` j h`tr| btmn
|mgd `r qtemxfgde| jel rdh`rlx ktx| g
ldqdelmeo `e wf` }`t ce`w mx q`xxQj|r`nndl b} |fd lmr|} bjlod btee}
meydx|moj|m`e
dl ir`g |fd
|fj| bt| |fj|
o bdhjtxd m|
|myd ir`g |fd
l qtnn me |fd
|meo j q`nmhd
}djrx djrnmdr
mhcdl me |fd
x|mh ym`ndehd
g} g`|fdr
irmde